...You Quit?!

by Jay David

Chapter 1: ...You Quit?!

...You Quit?!

Princess Twilight Sparkle. The many-times saviour of Equestria. Over the years, she and her closest friends have faced down many a threat to their homes and their people, and have always emerged triumphant on he other side. Great dangers from Equestria's distant past, magic-eating monsters from Tartarus, tyrannical despots from beyond their borders. All these and more they have faced together, and each time, they were the victors. Now, such a time has come for them again, and so they journeyed together once more, racing across fields, rivers, hills and wastelands. And again, they found themselves bearing one of their greatest assets, the Elements of Harmony, which shone brightly in the sun as they made their way to their destination. They had righteousness on their side, they had hope for victory, and more importantly, they had their most beloved power; Friendship. But, after so long a journey, there came a time when they finally happened upon their destination.

"So...this is it?" Applejack asked.

Twilight nodded.

"Yes...the Valley of Doom."

And it certainly fit its name, as the valley in question appeared as little more than a lifeless barren, with no trace of fauna or greenery of any kind. Naturally, such a sight was far from pleasant, and yet, into it they went, always keeping a wary eye, lest some danger reared its ugly head when they least expected it. As they moved on, however, Fluttershy walked ahead, speaking to Twilight with some uncertainty.

"Are you sure this is the right place, Twilight?"

Again, the young Princess nodded.

"I am. The Ancient Book of Ancientness made it very clear that this is where the Lord of Darkness will emerge after his thousand-year imprisonment."

Pinkie looked on to her.

"Geez! A thousand years ago sure was a pretty busy time, right?"

There was a general murmur of agreement to that, but then, before anypony had a chance to say anything else, there was a great rumbling in the ground beneath them, prompting them all to stop dead in their tracks. Twilight narrowed her eyes, looking ahead.

"...He's here."

And sure enough, as soon as she'd spoken those words, there was a great crack breaking out in the grounds just ahead of where they were standing, opening up with great force and unleashing what appeared to be a veritable flood of dark smoke. Moments passed, and the smoke in question began to rise up, condensing together, taking a shape. And that shape was of a large and imposing pony, not too dissimilar from the corrupted form of Stygian that they had faced some time back, though without the wings. Moreover, it looked down to them with bright yellow eyes, looking as though it bore nothing but hate and maliciousness towards them. Twilight, standing her ground, took a single step forward, then announced herself to the foe they now faced.

"Lord of Darkness! I am Twilight Sparkle! Princess of Friendship! My friends and I have journeyed far to face you here today, for we know your intention is to cover the lands of Equestria in eternal darkness!”

Though the moment was undoubtedly serious, that didn't stop Rainbow Dash from rolling her eyes briefly.

"Okay, seriously, what is it with bad guys and making things dark all the time?!"

Ignoring her, Twilight continued.

"You tried to commit many atrocities in your day, but now that path comes to an end, for we bear the Elements of Harmony!"

The Lord narrowed its eyes to her, but said nothing as she continued.

"But we offer you one chance...surrender to us and renounce your evil ways!"

A silence passed between them all, and Twilight and her friends looked on to their enemy, already fully prepared to have to use their powerful magic to thwart him, just as they had with so many others. The Lord of Darkness stepped forward, prompting wariness on the part of the mares, and then, as it opened its mouth, it finally spoke.


Again, there seemed to be nothing but quiet after that utterance, as Twilight’s friends all looked to one another, utterly shocked at what they’d just heard. As for Twilight herself, she merely gave a few slow blinks, and after a long while, she asked the only question she felt needed to be asked.


The Lord of Darkness shrugged his shoulders.

“You heard me. I surrender and I give up my goal of trying to take over the world.”

Twilight stared at him, narrowing her eyes.

“Are...are you trying to trick us?”

The towering stallion rolled his eyes.

“Hardly. One doesn’t become a pony of pure evil without recognising victorious heroes when he sees them. And when I look at you...”

He pointed a hoof straight at them.

“...I see a group of mares who look as though they’ve seen a fair bit of action. You’ve probably got rid of a dozen baddies like me over the years.”

Rainbow chuckled to that.

“Well, not to brag or anything.”

The others gave her disapproving frowns, silencing her for now, and Twilight looked back to her foe afterwards, looking very much like she was completely at a loss on how to cope with this.

“I’m...I’m sorry, this...this is just a lot to take in. So...you’re actually going to give up being evil and trying to take over...because we asked you?”

The stallion nodded.

“Yep. I mean, let’s face it, what has being evil got me? A thousand years stuck in a hole in the ground, that’s what!”

Nodding, Rarity stepped forward and whispered to Twilight.

“He’s got a point, darling.”

Considering that, Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Well...saying that is all well and good...but I think we’re going to need some proof.”

The Lord of Darkness nodded to that, and before the mares could react, he appeared to shrink before their very eyes. Within moments, the shadows surrounding him were gone, and in its place was but a mere unicorn. White in his fur and black in his mane, he bore a golden necklace that had, at its centre, a black crystal of some kind, which he promptly took off his neck.

“On my honour, I give up the Necklace of Unrelenting Wickedness.”

Rainbow slapped her hoof into her own forehead.

“Who names these things?!”

Walking forward, the stallion offered his former source of power to Twilight, and the latter, after hesitating for a moment, finally took it off him.

“Well...you still did a lot of bad things in the past, Mr Lord, or at least tried to. So you may need to face some sort of punishment for that all the same.”

Here, the former villain looked to her with some incredulity.

“Princess, with all due respect...I’ve just come out of a thousand-year prison sentence. A thousand years of solitary confinement, with nothing to do but count the moments as they pass. And not to put too fine a point on it, but those ancient good guys didn’t really have decent leg-room as a high priority on their evil-banishing prisons back then. Do you not think that’s punishment enough?”

Twilight opened her mouth to reply, only to be struck with the realisation that she had no real counter for that, prompting her to turn to her friends yet again.

“Hey, don’t look at us, Twilight,” Pinkie remarked.

Sighing, Twilight looked back to the ex-baddie.

“Okay, so...you’re giving up being evil?”

“Yes,” the stallion answered.

“You’re giving up your dark magic?”


“You’re going to try and live a normal life?”

“Whatever counts for normal in a place like Equestria, yeah.”

A pause.

“And...this is all because being evil...didn’t work out for you?”

Considering that, the stallion shrugged his shoulders.

“Yes, that about sums it up. I mean, sure, it sounds all glamorous and stuff at the start, but when you actually get into it as a career, you quickly learn there’s really not that much to get out of it.”

Twilight blinked slowly.

“Um...okay then.”

Satisfied with that, the stallion nodded.

“Good. Now then...”

He looked around, and then back to her.

“Which way is the nearest village. Because I’m in the mood for a good meal since, you know, no food for a millennium and all that.”

Still taken aback by all of this, Twilight pointed in the direction they’d just come from, prompting a nod and a smile on the part of the stallion, who began to make his way over there.

“Thanks. See you around, Princess.”

Twilight turned, seeing him go, as indeed did all of her friends, and then, once he was far enough away to no longer be seen, they all looked to her.

“Um...what just happened?” Applejack asked.

“I think...we just won...without even trying,” Fluttershy answered.

Another silence, and them, at the end of it, Twilight simply said the only thing that came to mind.

“Okay, so...job well done...I guess?”

Rainbow, however, folded her hoofs and let out a disappointed-sounding grunt.

“Ugh! A bad guy we don’t even fight? Where’s the fun in that?”

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