"Motherfu-" Ryan grumbled as he felt himself get smacked across his head.

"Wake up, buttercup." Said a harsh feminine voice, which he guessed wasn't his mother. The voice sounded too young.

Ryan felt, for lack of a better term, different. For starters, he couldn't feel his fingers. Or his toes for that matter.

Weirdest of all, he felt a large nub on his forehead.

"Are you inviting me to smack you again, or are you gonna wake up?" repeated the voice.

Ryan couldn't care less if he got hit again, but lying down on the floor wasn't exactly comfortable. He tried standing on two legs, but he lost balance instantly.

This earned the laughter from the voice he heard earlier. Up to this point, he hadn't bothered to open his eyes. He was actually afraid to.

He opened his eyes a bit. He stared long and hard at his hands, or rather, where his hands were supposed to be.

"The hell?" he asked to no one in particular.

"They're called hooves, Einstein." He looked up to see who had been speaking to him all this time. He had been expecting a regular human being, but the universe seemed to like proving him wrong.

The horse standing in front of him was bright pink all over, except for the mane. That was a deep cherry red with a silver streak through it. She almost looked like a piece of candy.

On her butt was a tattoo of a yellow triangle.

"My eyes are up here, perv." The pony said, annoyed.

Ryan was about to give a rather witty comeback, but was interrupted by a figure appearing out of nowhere. In the white void, the new comer was quite an eyesore, his body a mixture of numerous animals.

"Ah, glad to see that you're all awake and healthy." It said with a smile. "How do you like your new bodies?"

Ryan recognized the voice. "You're that one old dude, Discord!"

"Tell him what he's won, Bob!" Discord said dramatically. "Absolutely nothing!"

This earned an annoyed look from Ryan.

"But, yes. I am Discord, the 'man' that whisked you away from your pathetic lives so that you could have somewhat better ones." Discord said.

"What the hell did you do to us?" The pink pony asked angrily.

"Like I explained to you three earlier, I brought you here to change your worthless lives and make them better." Discord said.

"Wait, 'three'?" Ryan asked. He looked around and saw that besides him, there was only the pony and the monstrosity around.

"Behind you." Discord said as he pointed behind Ryan.

Ryan turned his head a full one-hundred-eighty degrees and saw a massive pony towering over him. If he had been a brony, he would have estimated that the pony rivaled Big Macintosh in size. His brick red body and black mane made him look all the more threatening.

How could I miss him? Ryan thought.

A quick scan later, Ryan also discovered that the pony had metal hooves that resembled steel or another silver metal.

On his butt was yet another triangle tattoo, but this time it was blue.

He then checked himself over, finding that his entire body was a dark blue. His mane was a lighter shade of blue with gold streaks through it. Ryan looked at his rump, and wasn't surprised to find a red triangle on it.

"Right, the cutie marks. I will explain that and much more." Discord said happily.

Back in Canterlot…

"No!" Cameron yelled.

"Come on, dude. We need to get back to Ponyville." Jake grunted as he tugged on Cameron's leg.

"Just go without me. Go enjoy your ponies and leave me to my sleep!"

"You're going to Ponyville, it's been a week already." Mike said, struggling against Cameron's death grip to the bed.

"I'm not leaving this bed!" Cameron said.

"Like hell you are!" Mike exclaimed as he made a final tug, causing Cameron to lose his grip and fall out of bed.

"Naomi, we got him. Ready?" Jake asked.

"As I'll ever be." Naomi replied. In truth, she didn't want to leave the comforts that the castle had to offer either.

Mike's horn glowed a bright crimson and they were back in the apartment building's lobby. The temperature was substantially cooler than what it was the last time they were there.

Jake was the first to notice the commotion coming from outside.

"What do you think that's all about?" he asked.

"There's a simple answer to that, check outside." Mike said.

A quick peek out the window revealed a large crowd of ponies surrounding a small wagon. Naomi instantly knew what was going on.

She remembered her completely epic win against Trixie a few days ago, and wasn't exactly excited to hear anymore bragging from the egotistical mare.

"It's the Boast Busters episode." Naomi said.

"I'm not even going to pretend like I know what that means." Cameron muttered.

"It means that I'm out. Peace." Naomi said.

"Wait, don't leave me here!" Cameron pleaded.

However, Naomi had already teleported away to the Archives.

For the past week, Mike had kept the spell book titled "Time Distortion" from her. It was slowly driving her crazy trying to figure out exactly what it did.

Despite the numerous warnings, Naomi now decided that she was going to read the book. She opened the fragile looking cover and began reading.

"Chapter One…"

Back in the Void…

Ryan finished listening to Discord's entire lesson on Equestria and everyone in it. He had explained that he was the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, hence the name.

Interestingly, the entire place was run by talking ponies and mythical creatures.

"If you have any more questions on Equestria, refer to Miss Diane here." Discord said as he motioned to the pink pony Ryan had met earlier.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Diane said. Despite her best efforts, Ryan could tell that she was withholding something. Ryan always had a kind of sixth sense for that sort of thing.

"Oh, come now. I know you're a closet pegasister." Discord said with a smirk.

"I admit nothing." Diane said, her face turning red.

Discord seemed to enjoy seeing her in discomfort.

"And now it's time for the Meet and Greet part of this session." Discord said and he teleported casually next to Diane. "This, as I said before, is Diane. She's wonderful little ball of laziness, aren't you dear?"

Diane then unleashed quite a number of insults and expletives at Discord.

"And quite a potty mouth as well." Discord said chuckling.

Discord disappeared and reappeared next to Ryan.

"This is Ryan. Don't let that calm face fool you, he has the worst temper of all you three. I certainly don't want to mess with him." Discord said. "One heck of a smooth talker, too."

Once again he teleported, this time to the remaining pony.

"This is Christopher. A guy of very few words. He hates practically everything and everyone! He's probably my favorite." Discord said.

"I'm still confused as to why we're here." Ryan said. "Why not someone else?"

"I was getting to that." Discord said as he cleared his throat. "There are such things in the universe called Heroes. I won't go into detail of them because I don't think you'll be able to understand."

"Try me." Ryan said.

Back at the Archives…

"… 'and never use this spell under any circumstances. Ever.'" Naomi finished reading the surprisingly short book. Her curiosity at this point was peaked.

Regardless of what the book said, she was trying the spell out.

First she needed an open space clear of any other ponies, seeing as the spell had the radius of over sixty meters.

She decided to try the road leading to Canterlot. In an instant, she had already teleported there. A quick look around showed that it was indeed quite devoid of any ponies.

Naomi focused and began the spell. Her magic charged up to a single aura on her horn then added another layer of magic. Then another.

Around her was a bright green circle, slowly spinning around her as unintelligible runes floated around her.

The circle spun faster and faster the harder she concentrated. She could feel herself starting to get a headache, but she wouldn't quit now.

A bubble formed over the circles, enveloping her.

In the final few seconds of the spell, Naomi felt as if someone was hitting her head with a sledge hammer.

Suddenly, the circle and bubble flashed out of existence, Naomi disappearing in a bright flash along with it.

Back in the Void…

"That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard." Ryan said as Discord finished his explanation.

Discord sighed. "Regardless if you believe it, It's what is real."

"That still doesn't explain why you chose us." Ryan said.

"Is it not obvious?" Discord asked. "You three are absolutely perfect foils to the three Heroes. Nega-Heroes, Anti-Heroes, Un-Heroes, whatever you want to call yourselves."

"And we are here because…?" Ryan asked, his patience near zero.

Discord sighed. "I'll spell it out for you. You are going to go and cause mayhem all over Equestria, release me, and help me get my revenge."

"You don't honestly expect me to work for you, do you?" Diane asked.

"You really don't have a choice on the matter." Discord said with a smirk. "If you don't help me, you're not getting to that 'wonderful little place' that I promised you."

"I don't really care. Just send us back home." Diane said sternly.

Discord chuckled. "How about no? You're not going anywhere until I've had my fun. "

Ryan stumbled over to Diane's side.

"Diane, let's just play his little 'game'. It'll get us back." Ryan said.

"Don't tell me what to do." Diane shot back.

Ryan shook his head and turned to Christopher.

"What about you, bug guy? You want to go along with this guy?" He asked.

Christopher looked at him with surprise. He had never in his life been asked what he wanted. People had always ignored him and went along with whatever they wanted.

His opinion had always been thought of as worthless.

"Yes." The large pony replied, his voice deep and rather quiet. It had been the first time he had spoken in the past few months, and his voice almost cracked from the disuse.

Ryan was actually glad that he had agreed, it was refreshing to know that he wasn't the only sane person there.

"Cool. Diane?" Ryan said. "Now or never."

"Why should I help him or you?" Diane asked. "What have you ever done for me?"

"If you just help us, we'll get out of here. We'll help each other get out of this or we get stuck here. There's no discussing it, you're either in or out." Ryan said.

Diane looked at the ground for a second and sighed, loudly.

"Fine."

"Thank you." Ryan said. "First things first, how do I walk?"

10 years later in Canterlot (Commence time traveling music)…

Naomi felt unimaginable pain erupt across her body, so much so yelped. Well, almost. Really, no noise came from the shriek, just breath.

The pain faded, but a dull throbbing remained nonetheless.

"I think I hurt my everything." She muttered, opening her eyes.

Saying that what she saw wasn't what she had expected was an gross understatement.

Instead of a bright and bustling city, there lay ruins. She was only outside the front gate, or rather what was left of it. The wall that stood tall at well over three stories was reduced to rubble, stone slabs littering the floor as well as small shards of glass. She saw scorch marks on the some of the remaining parts of the wall.

A quick look around showed a road littered with discarded spears that numbered in the dozens, if not hundreds. Silver and gold body armor was not uncommon either.

She shook her head, as if to rid herself of the initial shock that she felt. She got up and tried to figure out what was going on.

She had originally planned on time warping only ten years into the future, if only to find out what became of her and her new friends.

This can't be ten years in the future, can it? There's so much destruction… what happened?

She hopped over what remained of the castle wall and saw the true extent of the damage.

Hundreds of buildings were simply obliterated, pieces of rubble were the only indications that they had ever existed. Some had minor damage to the walls and nothing else, while some were merely craters.

She dared look towards the royal castle, and found it rather intact, albeit some towers that seemed to be missing. Smoke rose from the unseen fires in the building.

Her bafflement at the scene was abruptly ended with a commanding voice booming behind her.

"Halt!" The voice ordered. Naomi turned and was met with spear centimeters away from her face. The wielder of the weapon was a dark grey guard pony, however the armor was different. There was no decorative plume on the top of the helmet, nor any fancy ornamentation that guard armor usually had. Instead of the usual golden armor, it was colored dull silver.

"Uh…"

"Quiet!" He boomed again. He turned to a white pegasus that Naomi had failed to notice until now. "What do you think we should do with her, Arrow?"

"Beats me, she's probably a changeling. It seems to have taken the form of the lieutenant." The pegasus named Arrow replied.

"Wait, I'm not-!" Naomi tried to get herself out of this situation.

"Did I say you could talk?" The pony nearest to her shouted. He turned back to Arrow. "We should probably use that changeling detection spell on her, just to be safe."

"On it." Said a brown unicorn who also went unnoticed by Naomi until now. His horn glowed brilliant purple before firing a spell at Naomi.

"Ow!" She yelped as the spell made a stinging pain in her left foreleg.

The guards, in turn, were surprised that instead of revealing a changeling scout, the spell had only succeeded in annoying Naomi.

"This is… different. The major will probably need to see this." Arrow said. "Unknown, bind her."

"Way ahead of you." The unicorn replied. He shot two spells at Naomi, both of them large circles. One surrounded her midsection and wings and tightened. The other shrunk and fit itself on her horn.

Naomi tried to move her wings, but they wouldn't budge. She also tried using her magic, but only succeeded in giving herself a headache.

"Don't try struggling, that's one of the most advanced binding spells in existence." Unknown said proudly. "Your wings and magic are useless."

"Somepony's smug, aren't they?" The earth pony chuckled.

"You know it's true, Steel." Unknown retorted. His horn flashed purple and the group disappeared from the rubble and reappeared in an office of some sort.

There were no windows in the room, yet it was lit well. At the far end of the room was a large table with a large map spread across it.

The two ponies that were at the table looked very familiar, one having a reddish mane, the other having a black mane. Their armor was somewhat more decorative and golden. Their helmets, however, were on the table.

"Sirs, Lance Corporal Steel reporting with a prisoner." Steel saluted to the two ponies who turned towards the trio.

The one with the black mane turned his attention from the map and looked over to the group, revealing a scar over the left eye. His colleague turned as well.

"Corporal, is there any particular reason why you've let a changeling inside of the H.Q.?" Said the one with a black mane.

"That's just it, sir. She's not a changeling." replied Unknown.

"And I suppose that there's just another Lieutenant Alona running around, hmm? A twin sister that I don't know about?" He said skeptically.

They know my pony name? I'm in the military? When did that happen?

"I really am Alona! I'm from ten years in the past. I used a time spell to get here." Naomi said.

"You know, I would be inclined to believe you if the last imposter hadn't said the exact same thing. Before it blew two warehouses of supplies to pieces, of course." Replied the officer.

Well, crap. Naomi thought.

The red-maned officer put his hoof on the other's shoulder.

"Facade, she might be telling the-"

"I know." Facade answered. He turned to the soldiers. "Dismissed."

"Yes, major." They saluted and left, closing the large wooden doors behind them.

"What's your real name?" Facade asked.

"It that you, Cameron?" Naomi asked.

"Answer the question." Facade said seriously.

"Naomi." She replied.

"What's your favorite kind of cake?"

"Is that a trick question?" Naomi asked.

"What is the name of the book that you never finished?" Facade asked.

"Why would you know? I've never told anyo-"

"Answer. The. Question."

"I… never thought of a title. I couldn't think of a good name for it." Naomi admitted.

Cameron looked genuinely surprised.

"You're really her. Wow." He said.

"Welcome to the future." Jake said with a chuckle.

"Guys, can you clue me in on what exactly is going on? Why does Canterlot look like it got nuked? Where's Mike? Where are the princesses?" Naomi asked.

"That, is an interesting story." Jake said.

"What question do want answered first?" Cameron asked.

"Why did you ask those particular questions earlier? I've never told anyone about my book title." Naomi said.

"Well you kinda learn things when you're married." Cameron said calmly.

"What?!"

Next Chapter: What? Estimated time remaining: 30 Minutes