One Week Later

It was a beautiful morning in …

… um. The town.

With the ponies.

Above Town Square, Dash leaned back in her napping cloud, and stared at the beautiful sky with a big ol' beautiful grin. The sky that she would soon be managing, according to the offer letter she was hugging to her chest. [8] Granted, a weather gig wouldn't be half as cool as chasing off villains, but it was a pretty sweet consolation prize for suddenly no longer having a job with the … uh … the town's City Watch.

[8] "P.S.: Please pass along our gratitude to whoever finally bought you that pencil."

"Carrot," she said, loading some fresher (metaphorical) coffee grounds into her (mental) filter, "why does it feel like I'm forgetting something?"

Carrot shrugged. "Can't rightly say, Rainbow. After all, there's a lot of … um … this place … to forget."

"Yeah. This place." Dash worked its name around her mouth like a dislodged tooth she was trying not to swallow. "The town ... with the ponies."

Carrot thought for a moment. "Are we forgetting the town's name?"

Dash snorted. "You, forget something basic like that?"

"Point," Carrot said. "But otherwise, I should be able to tell you, since ... this place ... has to have a name. Everything does."

"Not the —"

"Aglets."

"Come on, you didn't even know what I was going to say."

Carrot cleared her throat and imitated Dash's rough, high voice. " 'Not the solid bits at the end of your hoof-laces.' "

Dash glanced away and pouted. "Not necessarily."

Carrot tapped her chin, her mind already elsewhere. "Many towns are named after nearby geographic features. Orchardburg? Edge-of-Everfree?"

Dash sighed and flopped back on her cloud. "Those don't sound right." She shrugged. "Maybe the town's name was stolen?"

"Don't be silly, Rainbow. Even by … this place's … admittedly ridiculous standards —"

"Weren't my fault," an oddly ugly stranger muttered, a blissful smile on his face as he walked past them.

Carrot glanced at the stranger as he passed, then returned her dubious stare to Dash. "As I was saying, stealing an entire town's name is the sort of insanity best saved for Miss Lyra's corkboard."

"I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out — if someone could steal names, maybe they could also steal memories of being able to steal names, and they're walking among us right now."

Carrot slowly raised one eyebrow.

Rainbow sighed. "Okay, yeah, that sounds crazier than I thought it would."

"Right. Monster Valley? Canterlot's Asterisk?" Carrot frowned. "Or perhaps I'm thinking of this the wrong way. Modern Equestrian settlements' names are preferentially geographical and/or pun-related per CC 1 Sec. 1 p. 1, but early Equestrian settlements often were named by and for their founding Earthers, so it might be 'Apples, And More Ponies' or something equally profoundly uncreative —"

Dash lunged in and clamped her hooves over Carrot's mouth.

"Tartarus, Carrot, you don't have to be racist about it," Dash hissed. "Look, let's just call it 'Ponyville' or something."

Carrot's muzzle flushed a deep red, and she glanced around the fortuitously empty Town Square. "On further consideration," she said with a note of relief, "I am perfectly willing to accept 'Ponyville' to avoid the possibility of sticking my hoof in my mouth in mixed company."

"Works for me!" a voice of elemental cheerfulness said from directly behind her ear. "And since I'm the Ponyville shadow government now that makes it all official!"

Carrot jumped. Then whirled around into a bouncing pink face, a "First Annual Happy-So-Many-Things-That-This-Banner's-In-Danger-Of-Violating-Both-The-Length-And-Hyphenatio" banner with a little cardboard "n-Rules Party!" taped onto the end, a table of fresh baked goods, and a cheering crowd.

Dash blinked slowly — not at the instant celebration, but at Pinkie herself. "You're the what now?"

"I'm the Partician!" If Pinkie's pronking could have been hooked up to a generator, it would have melted the metal. "I'm the Partician, I'm the Partician!"

Carrot laughed, extracting herself from a very energetic hug. "Congratulations on the promotion! … Ah, but if I might ask, Miss Pie, what happened to Lady Vetinari?"

"Oh, Fluttershy?" Pinkie said. "She always hated the job. So she retired, just like she always said she would once the crime problem got brought under control! And she's building a Home for Wayward Animals where the City Watch building used to be!"

Carrot took off her Watch helmet and bowed her head for a moment of silence. "At least," she said afterward, "we can be grateful that Headquarters was the only casualty of the Tiny Alligator Attack of 998."

"And you can be grateful that you cashed out your 'This Week' bet at a tidy profit," Dash grumbled. "I lost my shirt on 'Never.' I'm gonna have to get a job with, like, the Wonderbolts to pay off my gambling debts."

"Actually, most of my proceeds are spoken for," Carrot said. "Lady Vetinari suggested to me that I fund the growth of a new library tree with my windfall. It would be a useful and indisputably permanent piece of philanthropy for a town still educating its foals in a one-room schoolhouse. Not to mention, that way I can return the book that's keeping me here."

Dash gave her the full lost-kitten treatment. Quivering jaw. Huge eyes.

Carrot laughed and nuzzled her friend. "But, you know, I don't have to leave just because that's over with. Ponyville is rather growing on me."

"Eeeeeeee," Dash vibrated, happily nuzzling back.

"Get a room, Reginald!" Lyra reflexively shouted as she and Bongua passed by, leaning against each other and grinning stupidly.

"Reggie an' Sally scarpered, luvvie," Bongua said. "If'n 'ey weren't a figment of our imaginations to begin with. That's really Carrot, it is."

"You and your 'figments'." Lyra rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Bon Bon, you know I can't add these alleged 'changelings' to the corkboard. I've run out of room."

"Mmm," Bongua murmured, nuzzling Lyra's neck. "Call me 'Bon Bon' again."

Meanwhile, in the shadows nearby, Dobby quietly slunk up to a smiling ex-Partician and a quiet, sober striped figure.

"They did just what you planned they'd do," the zebra murmured. "A pity that your work is through."

Fluttershy smiled enigmatically. "I retired from party planning, just as you retired from leading the Watch. But one such as I will never stop helping the town from the background — not while I continue drawing breath. And I know your heart, Rhymes. Despite the constant abuse you took, you can't tell me you don't feel the same."

Rhymes slowly nodded, then let a wry smile grow on her lips. "It may be true that disrespect can't stop me playing civic architect. But on one point, I must inject, your claim is wholly incorrect."

Fluttershy tilted her head. "What do you mean, old friend?"

The zebra tsked. "Zecora's script is yet unread. But Captain Rhymes? Unmourned and dead." She turned toward Dobby and gave him a solemn nod.

Dobby winked. "Yer welcome, cap," he said, and gave her one final salute before everypony's memories of Captain Rhymes fell off the back of the wagon.

And all was right with the town of …

… "Ponyville".

Ugh. Yeah. Ponyville, I guess.