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Pound and Pumpkin Tales 2

by Never2muchpinkie

Chapter 95: 11-19: Forgiveness

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Mayhem floated upward until he was on Nega’s level.

Nega was still curled into a ball, crying.

Tears came to his eyes. He had been making Nega suffer so much just for coming into the world and doing bad things. Was it any different for him?

When he had first come into the world the first thing he did was attempt to make others suffer and live in a world of chaos. He had tried to wipe out the heroes of Equestria and came within a hair of succeeding. If Pound and Pumpkin hadn’t wrested back control from him at the last second…

When he was defeated that could have easily been the end of him. He could have just been dismissed as an evil monster that never should have existed, but one mare saw him for something more.

She asked to bring him out again in his own body. He felt so furious and weak and upset, but those feelings quickly started to change when she showed him sympathy. She understood his feelings, and rather than condemn him she came at him with love.

He could feel the tears pouring down his face as he closed his eyes, almost feeling her hooves around him as she gave him his first ever hug.

Even with all the pain and fear he had just put her through she still showed him compassion. She even let him live in her home to teach him more about love.

He felt like such a fool for despising Nega. It was a slap in the face to everything Fluttershy had done for him. If she had felt about him what he felt about Nega he never would have had the great life he had. He never would have been able to earn redemption or make friends or improve the lives of others. There was so much he would have missed out on.

He put a claw to his heart. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” he said quietly, his eyes closing as he let out a little sob. “I’ve been so stupid.”

He looked down at his friends in their incomplete circle, Pound and Flash with their hooves extended like before. He could feel their hearts surrounding him.

Each of them had made an eternal promise to always be his friend. None of them had hesitated in making that commitment. They all wanted to see him do better and succeed.

He knew that every single one of them truly cared for him as a person, whether or not he did things for them with his powers. Pumpkin had stated it during the sleepover, and he had seen it from his new friends when they offered him comforting during the first wish granting session.

More tears came down his eyes as he thought he truly had the best friends in the world.

They had never abandoned him despite the horrible things he had done, and so he wanted to be there for them in return.

He didn’t want to see them cry. He didn’t want to disappear from this world that he had come to enjoy. He didn’t want all the heartache and despair.

In the end he had no choice but to fight for his survival. He had to win Nega over. He had to win himself over.

Just in case he created another shield around the rest of the group, then floated over to Nega.

He stopped about three feet away. “I’m sorry, Nega,” he said sadly.

Nega’s turnaround was instant, charging at him with furious tears coming down his eyes.

Mayhem teleported behind him. “I was wrong to treat you that way.”

Nega spun around, balls of dark energy forming in his hands and shooting them at him.

Mayhem rose up, dodging them. “I know apologies aren’t going to instantly fix everything.”

Nega shouted. “SHUT… UP!” Just like when he destroyed the Crystal Empire countless blasts began to shoot out of his hands.

Mayhem easily dodged them. They were numerous in number, but Nega was in such a blind rage that he wasn’t employing any strategy.

After a minute of this Nega stopped, panting. “Why… why won’t you die? Why… why can’t I kill you?”

The rage slowly left his expression, and he began to cry again. “So that’s it, huh? I’m the expendable one. Created just to be used and then thrown away when I’m no longer useful.”

His arms fell to his sides. “Go ahead and do it then. It’s just as I said to Twilight: it’s you or me. I don’t care which one of us it is, so long as I can just stop feeling this never ending hurt inside.”

“Sure,” said Mayhem. “I’ll do it.”

Nega closed his eyes. “At last. Sweet relief.”

After a few moments he opened his eyes as he felt something wrapping around him, seeing Mayhem hugging him. “What… are you doing?”

“I’ve done wrong by you, Nega,” said Mayhem, starting to tear up as well. “I’ve treated you horribly and thought of you dismissively.

“And that’s because… it’s the way I feel about myself. I know that there’s never been an excuse for my actions. There have been a few close calls in which I came so close to taking lives. I’ll always have to live with that knowledge.”

He tightened his grip as he thought of his purpose. “However, no matter how bad I feel I won’t surrender. My friends all pledged their lives to me. They forgave me for the past. They’ve stood by my side through it all.

“I can’t ever undo the past. I know that. But I can affect the future. I can continue to make up for what I did. Like Twilight said, disappearing or locking myself up won’t just make everything better. It takes away my ability to do good for others.” Tears came to his eyes. “Ponies just like Spring Meadow.

“There is always going to be pain and suffering. We can’t get rid of it entirely, but I can help sooth their pain. That’s reason enough to fight on. Too many ponies care for me.”

Nega gently pulled out of his grip, a forlorn expression on his face. “In other words I’m just in your way.” Tears came down his eyes. “You said as much before. No one cares about me. You’ll all be happier if I die.”

“NO!” Mayhem said strongly, recognizing another of his inner thoughts. “You’re not worthless, Nega. I didn’t intend to create you, but you were a great help to me.

“Over the past few months, as I’ve gotten my friends back and continued learning new hobbies, I thought I was always happy and I had put the past behind me, but the truth is that I hadn’t. Seeing you made that clear.

“You showed me the parts of me I didn’t want to acknowledge. You pushed me to the limit and made me question what I really thought about myself.

“I kept pushing it to the side with distractions, but the truth is that beneath all my happiness I still felt…” He let out a sob, holding himself. “I still just felt so guilty. I guess it was kinda like what Spring Meadow went through. Of course everyone was angry or upset with me because of what I did, but the ones I hurt the most were the first ones to forgive me.”

He curled up into a ball, sobbing harder. “I didn’t feel I deserved it. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to suffer. I wanted everyone to tell me that they hated me. I wanted them to tell me they felt the same way about me that I felt about myself.”

After a little time he uncurled himself and wiped his eyes. “I had forgotten the magic of friendship, but just like when Daddy betrayed Twilight and the rest to Tirek I found out that there was nothing more valuable than friends.

“Hating myself… hurting myself… attacking myself… none of that is helpful. All my friends share a piece of my heart, and watching Spring with her family I saw how one heart suffering causes all of them to suffer too.

“My friends love me and support me. They had no hesitation in making a lifelong Pinkie Promise to always be my friend, and I can’t let them down again by giving up.

“I can’t just say that my life has no value. Thinking about all the ponies that have stood by me, all the ponies that would be sad if I was gone, and all the ponies that I’d never help… that’s enough to make me continue fighting on.

“Maybe I don’t deserve forgiveness for coming so close to killing others. It’s as you said. I looked down on my friends and got so caught up in my ego I didn’t want to lose. And just because I learned some hobbies doesn’t suddenly make it okay,

“But whether I deserve that forgiveness and love or not I’m going to keep walking my path. I was given a second chance, and I’m going to take full advantage of it.”

He could feel willpower flowing through him. “I’m going to help as many people as I can, fighting for the sake of my friends.

“I don’t think I’ll ever slip as hard as I did during the superhero story, but if I ever fall into the darkness again I’m not afraid. Just as I knew they would the first time they’ll come and save me.”

He smiled warmly as he looked at his friends. “Check it out.” He gestured with his claw. Nega glanced down.

“They learn quickly. Twilight royally called us out for the way we thought of you. The truth is that you have value too. Our friends understand that now like I do.

“They left a gap for both of us. Flurry said she’d be waiting for the two of us. There’s room for me at my best, but there’s also room for the parts of me that aren’t perfect.”

He took Nega’s paw in his claw. “Losing yourself in your negative feelings isn’t a good way to live. Neither is giving up on life and surrendering to them. No matter how difficult it gets you need to get back up and keep going.”

He looked to his other half with a smile. “Join me, Nega. Let’s work together and continue to improve. We’re both still young, and there’s so much left to experience.”

Nega looked down at their entwined hands for a little while. “It… it’s finally starting to hurt less.”

“That’s because I finally understand you… or me. I’m… finally ready to let go. The two of us have always been the same but different.”

He chuckled. “We caused some exquisite chaos today.”

Nega cracked a small smile. “Yeah… we kinda did.”

“It didn’t turn out at all like I expected it to, but that’s fine. I just want to be friends with you. Me.” He scratched his head. “This is a bit confusing.

“It was scary at times, but I think this has been a fun adventure. The traps you put down as Sombra, fooling us into coming with a powerless Heart, and then corrupting the Heart and the entire Crystal Empire… it really kept us on our hooves. You were an incredible opponent.”

Nega glanced over at Twilight. “Well… she told me to give it my all and push you to the limit. She believed you could handle it. I had my doubts you’d be able to win once I corrupted the Heart, but as usual Twilight was right. No matter the villain they won’t ever prevail in the face of love and friendship.”

“So did you know how she was going to win?”

He shook his head. “I had no idea. That’s why I was so nervous and went to talk to Twilight. The main reason I gave you those ten minutes was just because I was hurting and wanted to take a break from the evil dictator act.”

Mayhem nodded. “Understandable.” He let out a short breath. “Having briefly played that role I completely understand.”

He looked over at Twilight. “It was wrong of me to say that no one cared about you. Twilight really blew her stack about how nasty we thought of you. And she was right. I only wound up hurting myself by hating you.

“I have to fight for you too. I don’t want to harm you anymore, so I have to step up and believe. It’s the only way to protect you. Even if creating you was an accident I still have to take responsibility for it.

“I can’t keep harping on around the past.” He lifted up his paw, clenching it and smiling. “I’m still alive! And I’m going to make the most of it!”

He spun around, hugging Nega. “Thank you for everything, Nega. Thank you for helping me to understand myself better.

“You may have caused a little drama today, but it’s fine. I forgive you. And…” He drifted off for a while, before focusing on his motivation. “I… I forgive myself too.

“It’s okay… it’s okay for me to be alive. I’m not perfect by any means, but so long as I have my friends by my side, my two mothers, and Daddy I’m not scared. Friendship will always prevail in the end.”

He squeezed tighter. “You’ve always been me. Always been my darker side. But it’s okay now. I want to bring you into the light. I want to bring myself into the light, because finding that light is the only way to share it with others. It’s the only way to pull others out of the darkness, and there’s someone that needs me.”

He focused on Spring, gathering his willpower. “I… I love you, Nega. I love me, even with all my flaws.” Those words felt so freeing, and tears poured down his eyes.

Nega cried, finally hugging him back. “The pain finally stopped. Thank you, Mayhem.”

Mayhem smiled, feeling warm.

Nega’s colors slowly changed to match Mayhem’s, then he dissolved into magic particles and entered Mayhem’s chest.

Mayhem was now hugging open air. He put a claw to his heart. “You’re welcome, Nega.”

Author's Notes:

And thus Nega, his role accomplished, vanishes. What comes next? Well, Mayhem has to do something with his newfound will.

Next Chapter: 11-20: Ready Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours
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