Author's Notes:

This is the original aftermath to Spring's introductory arc. Unlike the current version where they left the hospital together and she got invited to next week's session she was never intended to be a recurring character, so they left her at the hospital after reconnecting her with her family. That was going to be the end of it, but then I found I liked her character and how she and Mayhem had similar feelings, so it changed to what we have now.

In the Christmas chapter Mayhem talked about Twilight not wanting him to be too well known, and this was the origin of that.

As they left the hospital Mayhem had a bright expression on his face. He hadn’t caught up to his friends yet, but he had done something pretty amazing.

“Did you see that, Twilight?” Mayhem said cheerfully as he floated alongside her on the way back to Fluttershy’s house, blushing with joy. “They were so happy with me.”

“I did see that,” Twilight said warmly. “You did something really special. Fluttershy will be proud to hear about how your first day went.”

“This is so awesome! It feels so much better than what I did before.” Some of the joy left his face. “I’m really sorry, Twilight. I screwed up really badly and lost myself in my own selfish pleasures.”

Twilight patted his head. “Don’t dwell on the past. Rather, focus on your future. The past is for learning from, after all.

“Keep that smile of yours, Mayhem. If you mean your apology then just keep helping me to help others. It benefits us all.”

Mayhem nodded. “Okay, Twilight.”

After a minute Mayhem got a thoughtful look on his face. “Hey, Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“I did something good today, right?”

“Of course.”

“And you want me to keep doing good things, right?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“That poor filly had to go without her brother for so long.” All the happiness faded out of his voice. “It had to hurt so much. And I’m sure it was the same for her parents.

“When I think about almost losing my friends it feels like a giant hole opens in my heart, but because of my powers I helped to close that hole and spread love.”

“Yes. You sure did.

“It seems like you have a thought pulling at your mind, Mayhem. It doesn’t seem like you’re bringing this up for nothing.”

“That filly’s brother isn’t the only one in the hospital, Twilight. Just think about all the ponies I could help with my powers. With a couple of snaps all the patients in the hospital could be sent home.” His voice filled with excitement as he giggled. “Can you imagine how great that’s going to feel for them?”

Twilight got an uncomfortable look on her face. “You… shouldn’t do that…”

“Huh?” he said, confused. “Why not?”

“It’s… just… it’s not what’s best for them.”

That only confused him more. “After what we just saw with Spring and her brother you think we should just leave them injured or sick in the hospital?”

Twilight felt a pang in her heart. “Look, Mayhem. You already did your good deed for the day. Just let it go, okay?”

His eyebrow went up, and he found himself getting a bit angry. “Just ‘let it go?’ Why should I? You just told me you want me to keep doing good things for others, and now you’re saying to just ignore people that are in need of help?”

Twilight gritted her teeth, feeling a gentle pounding in her head. “Mayhem, please. You don’t understand.”

Mayhem’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, I get it alright! You’re just jealous!”

“What?” Twilight said incredulously.

“This is all about you! You don’t like that I can be a better hero than you’ll ever be with my magic!”

The pounding deepened to a throbbing. “That’s not it at all!”

“Bull, you hypocrite!” he said furiously. “You tell me to help people in need, but as soon as you realized I could help a bunch of ponies at once it made you feel threatened because they’ll be celebrating ME instead of you.”

Twilight was panting now, feeling a haze in her mind. “Mayhem, stop!”

“No! I really looked up to you, but it turns out you’re just shallow and uncaring!”

“Mayhem, shut up!” Twilight said angrily, and before she could stop herself she swung at him.

Mayhem fell on his butt, holding his cheek and shivering. “Y-y-you hit me,” he said, tears forming in his eyes

Twilight was horrified at her loss of control. “I’m so sorry! I just… I… I can’t…”

She fell to the ground, gently sobbing. “It’s… I know it’s not okay, but you dug into my greatest source of pain.”

Mayhem stood up. “Greatest... source of... pain?” he asked.

With a flash of her horn she teleported them both to her usual reading spot.

She was glad no one had been around to see her lose control like that. The repercussions of such an act would likely have brought her greatest fears to pass, or at least push things in that direction.

She took in a few deep breaths to try to compose herself before she said, “Mayhem… please try to understand. I wish I could just tell you to do what you want, but… things… aren’t… they’re not that simple.”

Mayhem kept his distance. He still felt a little afraid, but he would at least listen. “So what’s the problem?”

“As a princess, or even just as an adult, I can’t just be thinking about the present.” She sniffed. “I have to do my part to ensure the future works out for as many ponies as possible.”

“And wouldn’t more ponies be happy if I cured them?”

“Yes. Of course they would.”

Mayhem started to get angry, but it was quickly eclipsed by fear. He didn't want her to strike him again. In a calm voice he asked, “So then what’s the problem?”

“The ‘problem’ is you, Mayhem. Or, to be more specific, your power.”

“My power?”

“Yes. It’s very dangerous for the future.”

“But you’ve seen I can use it for good reasons.”

“I’m not talking about morality here. I’m talking about how your power is temporary.”

He just felt more and more confused. “I mean, some of the stuff I make is just there to play around, but it only goes away when I want it to.”

Twilight tensed, letting out a heavy sigh as she fought to keep her composure. “I’m talking about lifetimes here, Mayhem. Discord and Celestia are long-lived, but I don’t think even they will live forever.

“That’s why we have to be very careful about the future and how much help we provide.”

Mayhem stared at her for a little while, his face screwed up in thought. He couldn’t quite put the pieces together. “I don’t get it, Twilight."

She took in another slow breath. “How future generations develop is going to be largely dependent on the ponies of the present.” She glanced at him for a moment before looking back down. “And other species too, of course.

“As princess my role is like a parent. I look after and provide assistance when others are in need. However, there has to be a cutoff point. We can’t do everything for them or they’ll grow spoiled.

“When it comes to horrible monsters we step in to save lives because we have the most power, but when it comes to personal issues we only provide as much help as they appear to need, and then we move on.”

“Why? When it comes to helping others shouldn’t we give it our all?”

Twilight took in another slow breath, not wanting to take her feelings out on him again. “Because we don’t want ponies to turn out like Spring Meadow.”

“Spring Meadow? What does she have to do with this?”

“The incident with Forest’s accident happened precisely because Spring felt like her parents didn’t have enough faith in her abilities. She acknowledged jumping from that ledge was a bad idea, and was even willing to back off… up until she remembered that feeling of her parents not having enough confidence in her.

“We have to strike a balance between doing too little for others and doing too much. If we don’t provide assistance then problems won’t get solved, but doing too much can be just as damaging. It robs them of a chance to figure things out themselves and grow from the experience.

“Just today you thanked me for allowing you to go forward on your own to help Spring. That’s the ideal way for any authority figure. We allow those under us to try, standing nearby to provide assistance if they find they’re not quite up to the task.

“How would you have felt if I pushed you aside to insist that I be the one to help Spring, even after you felt the passion flowing? It would have made you feel inadequate and wouldn’t have taught you anything.”

“Okay… I guess I can get that.”

“The biggest question we have to ask ourselves is: what’s going to happen after I die? It’s an unpleasant question, but it’s one we have to be honest about. That’s why we strive to help others better themselves, because we know we’re not going to last forever. And once we go all our knowledge and experience go with us.

“That’s why we have to push others to become self-sufficient. We don’t want to create a solution to a problem that relies on our presence.”

“Hmm… I don’t get it,” said Mayhem. “Snapping to help others heal would happen instantly. It doesn’t rely on me to be there, so I don’t see how it relates to me.”

Twilight pushed a hoof to her face as she let out yet another heavy breath. The pounding in her head was starting to return.

Mayhem squirmed around. He was getting frustrated again, but was too nervous of her hitting him again to let it out. “Could you stop getting mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you, Mayhem. This isn’t about you. It never was about you. You just set off the pain I hold inside.”

He saw tears coming down her eyes again as she put her hoof down, and he found himself feeling bad for her. “So… what is it? I saw that Spring was holding in a lot of stuff inside. What are you holding in?”

Twilight found her emotions bubbling over. “I HATE THIS!” she yelled, making him jerk back a step.

“You hate what?”

“I’m the Princess of Friendship. My role is to help others, and yet because of my position I have to make painful decisions like these sometimes. It’s like I said earlier. I wish I could just tell you that it’s fine and to do what you want. I wish I could say to heal everyone to bring happiness to others, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach knowing that we have the power to do so but it’s not advisable. The very notion of letting others suffer ‘for the greater good’ disgusts me, and yet I have to play my part.”

“I… still don’t get it, Twilight.”

“I’m sorry. I know sometimes I ramble and beat around the bush when I try to explain things. I’ll try to be more blunt. The concept I’m getting at is that expectations for the future can cause trouble. Take a child that whines when they pass a toy store and throws a tantrum when they’re told not getting any more toys. The parent is tired and just wants there to be peace, so he gives in and gets them a toy to quiet them down.

“Now the idea is put in the child’s head that ‘If I cause enough of a scene I’ll get whatever I want.’ So they try it out, and sure enough it works a second time. Then a third. Then a fourth. Then a fifth time.

“And so starts a pattern. Having repeatedly seen their parent give in to their demands they start developing a sense of entitlement and grow spoiled. As they grow up their demands grow with them. They want to stay up late. They want to go out with their friends on a school night. They want to do their homework later. And still the parent continues to give in.

“They carry that sense of entitlement into high school, bullying other children because they believe they have the power.

“Then they grow into an adult, always believing they deserve more and more. Work? Why should they have to work? Why should they have to move out?”

She finally looked at him again. “Most problems don’t start out big. There’s no real harm in occasionally just giving in, but when things happen constantly it creates a pattern and expectations of future behavior, and that’s where the danger in your power lies.”

Mayhem opened his mouth then closed it again, his eyes narrowed in thought. “I… feel like I’m getting the general idea of what you’re saying, but I still don’t understand why it’s a bad thing. I can get why you don’t want to have a child turn into a jerk by never telling them no, but what’s bad about people expecting you to be a hero? If it that’s bad then shouldn’t you just quit being a princess?”

“The difference between the two of us is the issue. You have powers that most ponies could hardly imagine. They far outstrip my own. Anything you want you can make happen in an instant.

“Of course your power can be used for good or for evil, but the problem lies in you becoming too well known for your power. The reason I let the others think you were just making illusions you can interact with is precisely because you’re not ready to be recognized so much.”

His eyes fell. “So is that what the point of that story was? You think if I get praised too much for helping others I’m gonna turn out like the spoiled brat?”

She shook her head. “No… and yes. That is a possible issue, but that wasn’t the point. The point was about patterns, and the more well-known you become for your power the more danger it can cause for the future.

“Just as it was for the parent, it’s okay to just give in sometimes. When people like Spring come specifically to you to ask for aid, then it would be cruel to turn them down.”

“So just tell me already. Let’s just say I help a bunch of people and get recognized. Then I help more people. And more people. Can you just tell me where the harm is for the future by helping hundreds of ponies past horrible injuries and illnesses and letting them live happier lives?”

“As I said earlier, the problem is that your power isn’t guaranteed to last forever. Nothing is. You may live for millenniums, helping hundreds upon hundreds of ponies. And, in the short term, that’s fine. But when you look at the long term it sets a dangerous precedent.

“With power like yours, that can instantly heal a pony from everything except death, it can inspire recklessness. Cases like Spring Meadow could become commonplace. Why be cautious? ‘If I break a leg or a wing then Mayhem will make it all better, so whatever.’ When you take away the consequences of foolish behavior then it only encourages more of them.

“Let’s take it a little further. For the next thousand years you visit the hospital daily to perfectly heal every patient admitted that day. Then the news starts spreading of the miracle child. Now suddenly you’re getting requests from far off lands to heal others. You’ve already shown that you can split yourself up into multiple beings, so that’s not an issue either.”

Mayhem stared at her intensely, still not really seeing the issue.

“Now that doctors and nurses and hospitals have become more of a formality their life purposes are now essentially meaningless. Of course they’re happy to see patients healing and going home, but now they no longer have a purpose. Someone else is doing their work better than they ever could.

“Another hundred or two years later this process continues. Medical research is deemed completely unnecessary, since any viruses are instantly struck down whenever they appear. New doctors and nurses cease, since their career paths are rendered pointless with you around.

Skip another generation ahead, and suddenly you’re gone.”

His eyebrow went up. “Why?”

“It doesn’t matter why. It could be you were attacked, or had to be sealed away. Whatever the reason you’re no longer in the world. You no longer exist.

“Now… what do you suppose is going to happen to the world in your absence?”

Mayhem blinked. “Ummm… things… um… return to how they were before?”

“How? Because you did everything yourself and couldn’t pass on your power your absence now causes a big hole in the world that could take another few decades to fix. You spread yourself out so much, robbing people of their chance to grow and learn and contribute, that without you there they have no idea what to do when a crisis happens.”

Mayhem got an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

“Because nobody was studying medicine or disease there’s no around who knows how to set a cast. No one knows how to perform surgery. No one knows how to cure or study diseases. Why? Because your existence meant they never had to know. You solved things instantly before such things were ever needed.

“However, now that you no longer exist, and that knowledge is desperately needed, everyone is stuck playing catch up. And who knows how many are going to die to illnesses and diseases that would be easily curable during this time with medicine. How many are going to be inadequately bandaged up? How many are going to get incorrect treatments that make their condition worse?”

Mayhem looked at the ground, an awkward expression on his face.

“All of this is precisely why I said earlier that we always have to think about how much aid we provide others. We’re best serving others by teaching them how to operate without us… by making their own individual world one they can survive in without needing us to hold their hooves.

“Think of what happened today. I probably could have done exactly what you did in helping Spring, but I held back because you clearly wanted to try and it meant something special to you, and so I gave you that opportunity. If you had messed up I would have helped guide you to get us back on the right path, but you handled yourself just fine.”

Twilight sighed heavily, tears forming in her eyes. “And so we come to the main issue: I hate the concept of allowing others to suffer in the present because it will be better for them in the future. Your power is amazing, and you could solve so many problems, but it could lead to much worse problems in the future because it’s too amazing.

“Your power makes things happen instantly, with no effort, and that’s the problem. For ponies we still have to actually work for it. We have to put ourselves out there and struggle, and we still wouldn’t come close to the efficiency you have.”

The tears that had been hovering in her eyes finally fell down her cheeks. “Princess Celestia… she’s lived a long time, and she’s able to fully comprehend the truths of the world. I’m still too young and inexperienced to accept it.”

Mayhem heard her sniff. “What do you mean?”

“At times I just feel like I’m sitting in a hole, and no matter how much I climb I can never get out of it. That ‘hole’ is the feeling that no matter how much I do it’s never enough. It’s the knowledge that I’m a powerful, influential person who has limits.”

She wiped her face. “If I had a wish it would be to create a world in which I’m not necessary.”

“Hey!” said Mayhem, feeling disturbed. “It sounds like you want to die.”

Twilight looked up at him, shaking her head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I just want everyone to be self-sufficient and live peaceful lives without monsters coming along to disturb it.”

She looked back down at the floor. “Princess Celestia has warned me several times about taking on too much. She’s told me to acknowledge my limits, and that there’s only so much an individual can do, but it’s not easy to accept that.”

She pushed a hoof to her face. “When I think of ponies like Spring Meadow, a child suffering with such heavy feelings, it just reminds me of how much hidden pain there is in the world.

“How many others in Ponyville are going through similar experiences? The map has sent us out across Equestria, but there was someone who needed our help right here in Ponyville.”

She began to shake. “There are people like her in desperate need of a friendship lesson, but I never knew she existed before she came pounding on my door to speak to you. That sort of thing kills me inside. Celestia may be Princess of the sun, but I’m the Princess of Friendship, and knowing there are people suffering like her in my hometown without me knowing…” She let out a sob.

“I hate my limits! I want to do more! More and more! But… at the same time… I know…” She drifted off for a while, before sighing. “I know I can’t do much more than I am already.”

Her horn lit up, creating a line going upward that kept splitting into two additional lines. Faces of ponies appeared at every split, with Twilight’s face going up the initial line. “It feels like every decision I make involves leaving someone alone.”

The Twilight face took the left path, meeting up with the sad pony face at the end of the path, and they began smiling. “While I’m out helping one person someone else is going neglected.” The Twilight face moved back to the beginning. “And, even though I know I need it, when I’m just staying at home resting and relaxing, I’m helping no one else at all. It just feels selfish to dedicate any time to myself goofing off when I’m someone who holds so much sway in the world.”

Mayhem stared at the pathways Twilight had created for a while. “Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“I think you’re forgetting something really important.”

“What’s that?” she said with a sniff.

“I know about your past. About how you were always alone and didn’t consider anyone a real friend. You’re not that pony anymore.”

He looked down at her. “The thing you’re forgetting is that you’re not alone anymore.”

“Yes, I have friends now, but what does that have to do with this?”

“Everything! You said that when you take a path to help someone then someone else is left behind, but that’s assuming that you’re the only person in the world that’s trying.”

He created a Fluttershy head, putting it next to Twilight’s on the pathway. As they came to the first fork Twilight went left and Fluttershy went right. “With more people that just makes more help.

“Just like you said before, the goal is to make it so you’re not necessary to keep things going, and your help just creates a cycle.”

He created an image of Starlight and Flurry. “You helped Starlight come to terms with her past, and she turned to the side of good. Once she earned their trust she became Flurry’s caretaker, and watched over her growing up, ultimately helping her past her fears over her cutie mark.

“Because you helped Pound and Pumpkin they were able to help Flurry past her issues over friendship, and all of that led to Flurry helping me. And because you forgave me it allowed me to help Spring and her family.

“We all help each other, Twilight. We understanding the pain and want to make it go away in others. And then when they feel better it makes them want to pass those feelings onto someone else. So you don’t need to do it all yourself, because we’re all helping each other. And the reason we can do that is because someone like you started the cycle.

“It’s unfortunate that we’ll never be able to help everyone, but we can all do all we can to spread good feelings for each other.”

He walked over to her and gave her a hug. “Just like Masky and Flurry I know you’re not bad. You just had some bad stuff inside making you not act your best, so I forgive you for hitting me.”

“Mayhem…”

“I still love you, Twilight. You’re still taking care of me after I did something way worse than you did, and now that I understand your pain I want to take it away so I can bring out the good pony I’ve always known.”

Twilight let out a little laugh, hugging him back as she gently sobbed. “You’re a real sweetheart,” she said lovingly. “Fluttershy is lucky to have you as a son.”

Mayhem grinned.

After a while she pulled back. She had gotten her composure back. “I’ve never claimed to be perfect. I know very well I’m not, but… every so often, I fall into things that I know I shouldn’t. Things that I feel I should know better about. Things like this.

“As my role in Equestria grows my responsibilities feel like they should grow with it. I’m well aware that it’s impossible to help every person and that everyone has limits, but I still can’t help sometimes feeling like I should be doing more, or that what I do isn’t enough and will never be enough.

“Those thoughts can then sometimes spiral into thinking that I’ve never really done anything helpful for others.”

Mayhem blinked. “But how can you think that? You’ve saved the world and redeemed so many people.”

“Well… we all have a dark side to us, and that part of us is never satisfied. It may be temporarily won over by perfection, but the second something goes wrong it shatters.

“Being a student of Celestia was such a big honor that I naturally developed a desire to never disappoint her. Those feelings grew into a subconscious fear of her. I was always so worried about something bad happening to me if I let her down.

“Of course I was younger then, but I’m embarrassed about how exaggerated my ideas grew. I thought she was going to send me back to magic kindergarten just for being late on one report.”

She let out a sigh. “The sad part is that I’ve always seen how kind she was. She very rarely lost her temper, and yet I couldn’t let that idea of her go because I was one of her few personal students. Considering I almost failed my entrance exam, and it was only being startled by the sonic rainboom that set off the magic surge that allowed me to pass, I didn't want to risk losing my position.”

“Wow,” said Mayhem. “You always seem to have it together. I didn’t know even you still had things from the past you were holding onto.”

“Well, as I’ve said many a time, I’m just another pony. Being an alicorn doesn’t mean I don’t feel like anyone else.”

She patted his head. “Thank you, Mayhem. I needed that hug.”

He grinned back. “You’re welcome!”

“As I’ve told Pound and Pumpkin, I believe that children can teach important lessons just as adults can if we bother to listen to them. What you said is a very mature way of looking at things. Once I set someone on a better path it opens them up to possibly help pull someone else back on the right path, continually causing a cycle of helping others.

“I guess it’s most helpful to visualize it like dominos. My piece doesn’t have to knock over every individual domino. I can set one off and let the ones in front of me work on doing the rest.”

She pulled him close again, tears coming down her eyes. “And sometimes the ones we help will come back to help us in return.”

He hugged her back, giggling happily.

When she released him this time they shared a smile for a few seconds, but then she got serious. “I guess the only thing left is to decide what to do about your ambition. I hope you understand by now that I wasn’t telling you not to help just because I want all the glory to myself.”

Mayhem got serious too, nodding. “I do understand that, Twilight.”

“I already explained the problems being too helpful in the present can cause for the future, but one other issue I want to bring up with you becoming well-known is that you’re still a child. A child with ultimate power... as Cup said it’s easy for your power to be misused by others, even if you never give them any.”

“How could someone use my power if I don’t give them any?”

“Simple. Do you remember the situation with Masky?”

“Yeah. He was having trouble with his family because he never spoke up that he was feeling lonely.”

“Yes. You, Fluttershy, and Pumpkin told me about what was going on with him, and he resolved his issue. But another day when we were discussing the changes he went through she told me about the deal he made with you. He talked you into giving him some power so he could mind-control his parents to be what he wanted them to be, or to make it so that they didn’t like travel anymore.

“Adults, with all their knowledge,usually commit deliberate evil. However, younger children can commit accidental evil when they commit horrible actions while thinking they’re doing good.

“To Masky it might not have seemed a big deal to alter his parents thoughts or personalities so they were happier together, but forcing someone to change who they are without their consent is an evil act.

“And that comes back to you. You believed you were helping him to better his life, while facilitating his evil actions.”

Mayhem looked around awkwardly.

“And one can easily see how such things can grow worse. As an example, Queen Chrysalis comes to Ponyville disguised as Fluttershy and looking a total mess. She’s bruised and cut up and dirty. You spy her, instantly getting worried as she tells you that she managed to barely escape Chrysalis and the Changelings, telling you that the real Fluttershy is the imposter. In a fit of rage you send Fluttershy into the sun.”

Mayhem shuddered hard, and continued shivering.

He raised his arms to her, and she held him to her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That example went a little too far, but I just needed to get my point across.

“Someone doesn’t have to have your power to cause bad things. They just have to convince you to use it on their behalf. And since you’re still young and naïve they could very well be directing you to do something they convince you is good, but is actually evil.”

When he stopped shaking he looked up at her and said, “I don’t think that’s really fair, Twilight.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t just agree to Masky’s proposal. I was really conflicted after what happened when Daddy gave his power to Pound and Pumpkin. That’s why I asked Mommy about it, and she told me it was okay. She misinterpreted what I meant, but she told me that we all share our gifts with each other to make their lives better.

“I have an amazing gift… but…” He sighed. “BUT I understand what you’re saying. I need to be careful with my power so I don’t hurt others on accident, but I’m already doing that anyway. I put you in charge of my power today, letting you decide if I was going too far. And you never needed to stop me, so I think I’m doing better with my power than you think I am.”

She rubbed his cheek. “I didn’t say you were abusing your power. I only wanted to give you an example of where your power can go wrong.”

She set him down. “It is your power, and I think you should do what you feel is right with it. I just want you to keep in mind what I’ve told you.”

Mayhem’s hands balled up as he tensed. After a few seconds he loosened up. “I think… I think I’m going to do like what you do with the map. When someone calls out to me for help I’ll provide them assistance, but I don’t want to start taking on the problems of the world. If even you can’t handle that responsibility I know I can’t either. I don’t like it, but I’m just going to let things go.”

“I don’t like it either, Mayhem, but it isn’t up to any one person to do it all. Pain sometimes helps us to grow if we can overcome it, just as we saw with Spring Meadow. You used your past to inspire someone else. It wouldn’t have meant so much to you if it wasn’t for what happened.”

“Yeah…”

“You okay?”

Tears began dripping down his eyes. “I want to go home! I want my mommy!”

“Okay,” said Twilight. “You’ve had a long day, so let’s get you home.”

She put a hoof on him, and then with a flash they were gone.