Chapter 7

Pinkie Pie is obliterated.

Rainbow watches in amusement as the party pony drunkenly staggers her way across the large main room of Sugar Cube Corner, checking in on groups of party guests as she stumbles along. One moment Pinkie's asking if Bon Bon and Lyra need refills on their drinks, the next she's encouraging Fluttershy to get up and dance, a second later she's whipping out a bowl of gems from goodness knows where to hand to Spike. Rainbow feels a warm glow of affection as she watches, as she sees how dedicated to her party guests' enjoyment Pinkie is--even given the fact that the earth pony can barely stand, let alone serve punch.

This, right here, is where Pinkie shines. Where Pinkie Pie is at her most Pinkie Pie. At a party, in a crowd, among a gaggle of smiling friends. Dash gets an inexplicable thrill from seeing Pinkie like this, and she can't quite remember why she ever thought it was a big deal for Pinkie to have that picnic with Applejack's brother. It seems like a lifetime ago. Of course, in a way, it sort of was.

Every so often, while faithfully tending to her party guests, Pinkie glances over to where Dash is standing by the back wall. And every time she does, without fail, she gives the pegasus a hugely flirty wink paired with a small, soft smile. It's possibly the least subtle thing in the history of ever.

Dash absolutely loves it. Though she'll probably never admit that to Pinkie's face.

All in all, this "Hooray, We Found the Magic Flower, and Equestria Is Saved!" party has totally been one of Pinkie's better ideas.

---

Rainbow Dash leans against her chosen wall, front legs crossed over her chest, and she tries her very best to appear cool and aloof. Lazily she gazes out at the party and wonders if all of Ponyville has somehow crammed into the bakery, as that certainly appears to be the case.

Applejack stands beside her, swaying a bit on her hooves. She issues a soft snort as she nods in Pinkie's direction. "Ain't never seen that girl quite this liquored up before," she mutters in an amused tone.

Dash chuckles. "You're not too sober there, yourself, y'know."

Neither is Dash, for that matter. But she's taking it easy tonight, mindful of what happened at Pinkie's last party, and is therefore worlds better off than either Pinkie or Applejack are at the moment.

"W-what? What're you tryin' to say?" Applejack draws herself up to her full height, looking offended. "I will have you know, Rainbow Dash, that I could mop the floor with ya right now if'n I had to."

Rainbow considers taking Applejack up on the challenge. She does still owe her friend some payback for that bet about shoving apples in her mouth. But Applejack is all but falling over, as it is, and Rainbow is afraid she might actually hurt the earth pony. Plus, she really shouldn't do anything that could ruin two of Pinkie's parties in a row. Pinkie Pie's a forgiving pony, but it's best not to test out how forgiving she is.

So, instead of saying "You're on!" like she wants to do, Dash just gives Applejack's shoulder a friendly nudge while jeering, "Sure, you could, AJ! Sure, you could."

"I could, too!" the farmer blusters in response. She rears onto her hind legs, draws back her right front hoof, and prepares to throw a punch aimed right at Rainbow Dash's head.

"Stop. Right. There."

Rainbow and Applejack both flinch and turn towards the voice that's suddenly intruded. Rarity stands just a few feet away, her eyes narrowed and her mouth a firm, straight line. Fluttershy hovers beside her, her eyes ping-ponging between the unicorn and the earth pony.

Applejack quickly lowers her hoof and slaps on a huge, fake smile. "Oh, howdy, Apple Dumplin'!" She could not possibly look, or sound, any guiltier. "G'evenin', Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy smiles and gives a small wave. "H-hi, Applejack."

"Hmph." Rarity tosses her mane and cuts her eyes over to the yellow pegasus beside her. "You see what I mean, darling? You can't leave them alone for even two measly minutes!"

Fluttershy nods in genial agreement. "Oh, yes, Rarity. I do see what you mean."

Disgusted, Rarity shakes her head and continues, "And it is not as though you and I have abstained this evening! But we, at the least, can show a bit of decorum even as we indulge. Unlike some ponies I could name but will not."

"Which ponies, Rarity?" Fluttershy's brow wrinkles a bit in thought. Then her entire face lights up. "Oh! Do you mean Applejack and Rainbow Dash?"

"Yer kiddin' me." Applejack is staring intensely at Fluttershy, squinting a bit. "Y'mean to say you got good ol' Fluttershy over there to hit the hooch?"

"I thought it might do her a bit of good!" Rarity sounds the teensiest bit defensive. "Alcohol is a known social lubricant, after all."

Dash can't help it. At the word "lubricant," she starts snickering, then outright chortling, and then collapses into a heap of helpless laughter. After a moment of repressed giggles, Applejack joins her and lets out loud, braying guffaws.

Rarity glares daggers at the both of them. A hint of amusement lurks in the back of her eyes, though. "Oh, honestly! Sweetie Belle displays more maturity than the two of you!"

"I … I don't get it," Fluttershy murmurs, half to herself.

Then, when Rarity turns her glare towards Applejack specifically, she softens even further and actually grins--just a tiny bit. "You are absolutely impossible. I don't know why I waste my time with you."

"It's 'cause you love me," Applejack drawls in a ridiculous sing-song tone, even as she fights back another giggle fit.

Rarity just blushes and stammers in reply, while Fluttershy hides behind her mane and makes little squeaking noises. Dash guesses that the little squeaks mean that Fluttershy believes their friends are acting cute or adorable or some other Fluttershy-approved word like that.

It is an opinion that Rainbow Dash does not share in the slightest. She snorts and rolls her eyes. "If you guys are gonna start gettin' mushy, I'm gonna split." She reaches out and affectionately chucks Fluttershy on the shoulder. "I'd get out, too, if I were you, 'Shy. While you still can, that is."

And though she does want to remove herself from the scene before the two lovebirds start whispering sweet nothings--such as the indescribably detestable "apple dumpling"--the primary reason she's excusing herself is that she's just noticed Twilight Sparkle sitting over at a table, wearing the most lovelorn expression imaginable and staring across the room at Big Macintosh like he's the most magnificent and most complicated magical spell she's ever tried to learn.

Dash grins as she immediately thinks up a completely brilliant plan.

Without a second thought or a look back, she leaves her friends and flutters over to where Mac stands next to the food table, nibbling at corn-cakes and shifting from hoof to hoof uncomfortably. He raises an eyebrow, ever so slightly, when he catches sight of Rainbow.

"Heya, Big Mac!" Dash hovers at eye-level with him, still grinning, and slings a friendly foreleg around his wide shoulders. "How's it hangin', man?"

He gives her a suspicious look out of the corner of his eye. "Howdy, Miss Rainbow. What can I do fer ya this evenin'?"

"Well, y'know, I feel a little bad about stealing your girl. So I figured I'd do you a solid." Dash gives him a wink. "I'm gonna get you a mare of your very own."

By now, Pinkie Pie is eyeing her from across the room, from where she's stationed near the deejay table. Although Pinkie is still talking animatedly with Vinyl Scratch about something or other, presumably music and playlists, Pinkie's eyes never leave Rainbow Dash. The pegasus just smiles brightly and waves.

Pinkie frowns a tiny, adorable little frown.

Big Mac, meanwhile, is hemming and hawing. "That's, er, a real nice offer there. But, uh, I don't think--"

"Hey, no thanks necessary! I'm happy to help out a friend in need!" Dash leans in close and whispers, "So, you're a smart guy, right? I mean, you figured out that Pinkie and I are a thing without anypony saying anything. So I'm thinkin' you need a girl who's smart, too."

She gestures meaningfully in Twilight's direction. The unicorn immediately notices and freezes in what looks very much like horror, all the color draining from her face. Then her eyes narrow in a glower that seems to be Twilight's attempt to vaporize Rainbow Dash using just her pure, unadulterated hatred.

Big Mac follows Dash's gaze and then snorts softly, shaking her head. "Miss Twilight? Rainbow, I ain't got a shot with a girl like that. She's personal student o' the Princess."

"Yeah, but she's not snooty like other Canterlot ponies are! She's a total egghead, sure, but she's the down to earth type." Dash grins with genuine affection for her unicorn friend. "Twilight's a really cool pony. Sometimes, anyway."

Macintosh just stands there, looking unsure.

Rainbow leans in even closer. "Trust me, big guy. Just … just ask her to explain all the constellations to you or something. She likes talking about stars and junk like that."

Before Mac can offer any further protests, Dash decides she's accomplished her good deed for the evening, heartily slaps him on the back, and takes off again, leaving the big stallion alone again and muttering to himself.

But Dash has no time to wonder what Mac is saying under his breath. She's already decided that, for her next act of heroism, she's going to go rescue Fluttershy from being stuck with Beauty and the Apple Beast. Maybe they can take a quick flight or something, then come back to the party--it's been a while since they've had a chance to chat, just the two of them, and Rainbow knows that Fluttershy is probably nearing her capacity limits for social interaction for the evening.

Dash is humming right along--bopping her head in time with the music, scanning the room for Fluttershy, feeling pretty good about how both the party and her life are proceeding--when she's suddenly attacked. Before she can even think of how to react, she's been yanked into the bakery's kitchen and shoved up against a wall. A few pots and pans clatter to the floor as her wings flap in protest at being so abruptly pinned.

Pinkie Pie stands right in front of her, frowning, her hooves holding Dash firmly against the wall.

"Hey, there," Rainbow greets her, very casual, very cool. She smiles in what she trusts is a breathtakingly sexy and sultry way.

"Oh! H-hey." Pinkie seems caught off guard and blushes a bit. Then, shaking her head, she mutters to herself, "No, no, no. That's not why we're here … at least, I don't think it is?" Blearily she peers at Dash as though confused to be looking at her. "Why did I come into the kitchen again?

Dash's smile widens hopefully. "Maybe you came into the kitchen to get a little taste of Dash?"

"Ooh, maybe! That does sound good …" Still blinking, Pinkie sways back and forth. She seems to be pondering over Rainbow's question as though it's the most important question in the universe. "Oh, no, no, wait! That wasn't it!" She takes a stumbling step backwards and releases her iron grip on the pegasus. "Dashie," she tries again, closing one eye, presumably to help her focus. "You didn't tell Big Mac about Twilight's crush on him, didja? Didja, didja, didja?"

"No! 'Course not."

Pinkie Pie squints at her. All the squinting makes her snout crinkle in a very cute way. Dash wonders if she can get away with stealing a kiss or if that will make Pinkie think she's not taking this seriously. Which she isn't, really, but best to not let on about that.

Dash's better instincts win out, though, and she holds up her hooves in a placating way. "Look, I just said he should go talk to Twilight. That's it."

"Are you sure?" Pinkie draws out the last word, slurring a bit as she says it, and seems a wee bit unconvinced. "Because you know that losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to--"

Suddenly, Twilight Sparkle bursts into the kitchen, all wide eyes and flailing limbs. She freezes when she spots Rainbow Dash, and almost involuntarily Rainbow jumps back. Pinkie Pie just gapes and whispers under her breath, "Oooooh."

Without a word, Twilight launches herself right towards the startled pegasus. "Rainbow Dash! There you are!"

"I'm sorry!" Dash cringes in dread. "I didn't mean it! Don't turn me into a newt!"

Twilight pauses, then laughs. "Oh, Rainbow. Why would I turn you into a newt?"

"B-because …" She snaps her mouth shut when she realizes that Twilight is hugging her, not clobbering her, and also that the unicorn is wearing a broad, happy smile.

"I just wanted to thank you," Twilight explains, still beaming and sounding out of breath. "I don't know what you did, exactly, or how you did it, but … but Big Mac just asked me to go for a walk! So we can look at the stars!"

Rainbow blinks for a moment then, with a sudden crow of triumph, looks over exultantly to Pinkie. Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie isn't paying nearly enough attention to appreciate Dash's moment of victory, as the earth pony is hugging an entire, huge chocolate cake to her chest as lovingly as Rarity might clutch a precious, beautiful gem.

Dash is reasonably sure there wasn't even a cake in the kitchen a minute ago.

But Dash knows better than to dwell on it for too long. She just shrugs to herself and turns back to Twilight. "That's great news, Twi." She pats the unicorn on the top of her head, careful to avoid the pointy horn, before starting to make shooing motions. "But you better not keep him waiting, buddy! Get out there and enjoy your walk." She smirks a bit. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Oh, believe me, I won't. Thanks again, Rainbow!" Twilight nods rapidly then, after one final, rib-cracking hug, she disappears back out into the main room of the bakery.

Silence reigns in the kitchen for a few precious seconds before Dash begins cackling.

"Ah, yes, please hold your applause, everypony," she says, addressing the imaginary cheering crowd in her mind. "It's all in a day's work for your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash."

"Dashie?" Pinkie is tilting her head at a nearly one hundred and eighty degree angle. "Who're you talkin' to? Can you hear the voices too?"

Dash frowns. "Voices?"

"Oh, but never mind that now, Dashie! We've got more important things to worry about. I mean, we've been in here so long, ponies are gonna think we got banished to the moon or something!"

To punctuate her point, Pinkie waves a hoof in the air wildly--then promptly topples over as the sudden movement knocks her off balance. Rainbow catches her as best she can, almost falling over herself as she does, but Pinkie doesn't seem overly worried about the near-tumble. Instead, she happily leans against the other pony and even nuzzles Dash's neck.

"I swear, Pinkie Pie," Rainbow warns, "if you puke on me, I'm gonna hide all your party balloons for at least a month." But she can't quite hide the smile in her voice.

Pinkie is not fazed in the slightest by the threat. She simply hooks one of her forelegs around Rainbow's neck while jabbing her free foreleg in the direction of the kitchen door. Then, affecting an accent Dash can't even begin to decipher, the earth pony bellows, "Onward, brave Sir Rainbow! There is a party out there that requires our presence, and Lady Pinkie Pie must hold court!"

The beleaguered pegasus rolls her eyes but obligingly begins hauling Pinkie out of the kitchen. As soon as they've made it through the door, however, they walk almost directly into Fluttershy.

Who at the present moment is completely entangled, limbs and wings and all, with a certain gray-coated, yellow-maned, wall-eyed postal worker. Completely, blissfully entangled, as the two pegasi enthusiastically and drunkenly make out with one another.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash just stare.

Dash's jaw works furiously, but she can't seem to make any words come out. Right now she is feeling at least ten different kinds of amazed and bewildered. When her voice finally returns to her, all she can do is whisper, "Now that is some social lubrication."

Meanwhile, still hanging precariously off of Dash's neck, Pinkie lets out a loud whoop of joy. "Best ... night ... ever!"

---

Hours after Vinyl has packed up her speakers, after all the punch has been guzzled, after everypony else has gone home, Rainbow Dash remains alone with Pinkie Pie in an empty and utterly destroyed Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie is singing to herself very softly, something unusually gentle and in triple meter, as she pushes a mop around the bakery's main floor. For her own part, Dash busies herself with tearing down streamers and shoving them into the countless trash bags that lie around her feet.

Why are there so many streamers? she wonders, half-irritated, half-awestruck. Where does she get all the bits to even buy this many streamers?

Being stuck on party clean-up detail is undeniably a boring, thankless job, but the pegasus swallows any and all of her complaints. Helping out with all the cleaning is, she well knows, all part of her penance for the Everfree Forest debacle.

Besides, Pinkie's worth it. Pinkie's something special. Something worth treating right.

As the earth pony moves on to mopping down tables, she keeps singing her little tune. Her voice is too low for Rainbow to quite make out the words to the song, though, if indeed there even are words. Rainbow frowns thoughtfully as she takes down the last of the streamers. There's something familiar about whatever Pinkie's singing, but she can't quite put her hoof on exactly what it is.

But then suddenly the memory pushes its way to the front of her mind. A waltz. That's what Rarity had called it, anyways, way back when, as the unicorn had forced a reluctant Fluttershy to help her practice her dancing for the Grand Galloping Gala.

Dash sets down the trash bags and looks over at Pinkie.

Armed with her dishrag, Pinkie Pie bounces from table to table in time with the music she herself is providing. The moonlight coming through the windows from outside casts long shadows down the room, and Pinkie dances into and out of the pools of light with graceful ease, almost glowing. Rainbow swallows thickly as she watches.

She wishes she could find the words for how achingly beautiful Pinkie Pie looks right now. But she can't. She's never been that good with words, really--that's more Twilight or Rarity's thing.

Rainbow Dash, though? Is a pony of action.

Taking silently to the air, she flutters over to the other pony, who has her back to Dash, still dancing unawares. Rainbow flies in close, her nose right up against Pinkie's ear, close enough that she can smell the sugar and sweat in Pinkie's mane. Huskily she whispers, "You wanna dance?"

Pinkie gives a small jump, surprised, but only for a second--then she's turning to face Rainbow, smiling and ready and eager. Rainbow likes that about her. Always up for anything, this one. The premiere party pony of Equestria.

With an exaggerated flourish, the pegasus performs a small bow while still hovering in mid-air.

Pinkie giggles and curtsies in response.

Locking eyes with the earth pony, Rainbow Dash takes her front hooves in hers and begins slowly spinning her around the room. She concentrates hard, trying to remember all those complicated steps that she watched Rarity show Fluttershy, but she can feel herself losing the beat and tripping up. After a few moments, she realizes it's at least partly because there's no longer any music to accompany them.

"Hey." Dash cocks her head at her dance partner, puzzled. "How come you stopped singing?"

Pinkie blinks at her. "Oh? Oh! I guess I did!" But then her voice sounds hushed, almost disbelieving, as she asks, "Didja … I mean, you really want me to sing some more?"

Not unless you mean it …

"Yeah," the pegasus admits with a wry smile. "Yeah, Pinkie. Keep singing."

And so Pinkie does.

Dash shuts her eyes, still smiling, and lets Pinkie's voice carry them along. They move in perfect harmony, Pinkie along the floor and Dash in the air, as Pinkie quietly warbles away like one of Fluttershy's songbirds.

Together they waltz for endless minutes, for hours, for entire lifetimes. Together they waltz under the moonlight, among the trash bags full of confetti and empty bottles of sarsparilla and popped party balloons. It's completely corny, tragically unhip, and ridiculously uncool.

Rainbow Dash has never felt happier.

THE END.

Author's Notes: Ship all the ponies? SHIP ALL THE PONIES!

I had a dilemma with the musical selection this time around. Do I choose a song that fits the good-time party shenanigans in the first part of the chapter? Or do I choose a song to fit the cheesy, sappy sincerity of the last part of the chapter? Then I realized ... I don't HAVE to choose! I can choose both!

So, for the first part of the chapter, please pair with Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night (TGIF)." For the second part of the chapter, check out Paul McCartney's "This One," from his 1989 album, Flowers in the Dirt.

And last but not least: Thank you, everyone, for reading. I'm greatly appreciative.