It was an old part of their code, but once per month even the most senior members of the S.P.D had to take a walking (in some cases, this was relative) beat around the main city of Sleipnir to do what cops did best, help ponies in need in their day to day lives rather than sitting in an office answering a call and doing it that way. It was always good to maintain a presence, the bloated masses knew you were there still.

Today, it was Lethal Force’s turn.

She knew she wasn’t a slim mare, but she could still move around under her own power. She was here for the next eight hours. What she’d have to deal with in that time was always interesting, although somewhat annoyingly she often found it was always mundane things. The first thing she came across was as mundane as she had expected.

“Oh come on.”

Clearly she said it far too loud, the two ponies trying to push stopped what they were doing and noticing a police officer waddled over.

“We’ve got a bit of a problem here ma’am…” one started to say.

“I can see. Did tubby eat too many meals?”

Too fat to get in the shop of course. Ironic. She was staring at two massive flanks totally wedged in a door that was far too small to accommodate the stallion trying to get inside. A mare and a stallion each of reasonable size themselves had been leaning on his massive rump trying to push him in and were now talking to Lethal Force. From within the store, a voice piped up.

“Actually, I haven’t even gotten in yet!”

“Wouldn’t it be better if you backed out and ate somewhere that could accommodate you sir? Blubber King has triple wide doors from what I understand.” Lethal Force tried to offer as a solution.

“What!? No way I’m almost in! Besides the food here is to die for! How do you think I got so big in the first place!?” the stuck stallion yelled back from within.

“I don’t know, how does anypony on this damn colony get so freaking lardy…” Lethal Force said under her breath.

“What!?”

“Look, ask them inside. Have they got grease?”

There was a small amount of low level noise as she assumed the stallion was talking to the owners.

“They say yes! Lots of it.”

“As if that’s a surprise. Okay, tell them to pour as much of it as they can where you are wedged. Then we’ll push and you can squeeze through.”

A moment later a liquid run off started to appear around the side of the stallion’s flanks, Lethal Force could only assume that the staff inside were greasing the butterball up.

“Now on three, we push, okay?” Lethal Force said to the two ponies outside with her. They just nodded. “One, two, THREE!”

Clearly it was a little too much grease, with a small pop! the stallion slid forward and into the restaurant instantly, sliding across the floor on a greasy trail and comically straight into the buffet table. With an almighty CRASH! it all fell on top of him. When the dust had settled, the three ponies waddled inside to mortified looking staff and a very happy stallion who was eating the food that now coated him, even dipping it in the grease they had used.

“You know I think it tastes better this way, want some?” he asked, offering up a small portion to the unamused Lethal Force who stood over him.

“No, now you had better pay for the damages and the bill or am I going to have to come back and arrest you fatso?” she asked.

“He’ll pay. He always does. This isn’t the first time we’ve had a mishap. He’s just never quite managed to wreck the entire buffet.” a member of staff said. Lethal Force turned her tail to leave.

“Good, but call us if you have a problem. I’ll leave you to it. Oh and um, you may have to grease him on the way out. Consider widening your door if you want to keep serving him.”

It was always problems concerning ponies of size. Her mind often wondered when she had to do a proper beat like this. It was extremely rare that general members of the public actually willingly carried out crimes of a higher nature. In fact the incident with Fireflash and the whole pad company had been the most interesting thing to happen on the colony in years. She had always wondered if getting ponies so obsessed with eating was a way to keep them sedate. Just concentrate on the next meal and not have the energy or compulsion to really commit crime. She must check up on Fireflash, rather than having him rot in a cell perhaps a deal could be worked out now that the pony that put him up to the crime had fled the colony. It was a thought.

Next up was something rather amusing. Pad failure. An immobile pony was stuck in the road. One of the engines had given out, older model with no backup system so it had just simply crashed to the floor. Evidently the mare who occupied it had spent all her money on meals rather than saving up for something new. She spent the next hour directing traffic around her until she could be towed away to a repair facility.

A couple of young colts arguing over a box of donuts, who got the last one specifically. She just happened to come across them eating out in the street they lived on. She reminded them sharing was always best, watching with a smile as they split it in half and each ate that. It wasn’t an ideal solution but it worked. If she had her way she would have stopped them eating altogether.

The rest of the day was petty things. Ponies asking her advice, or directions. By the seventh hour she had the directions for Blubber King almost on speed dial in her brain. She had no idea why so many ponies were asking her where it was. Surely they knew by now anyway? They all looked as if they had a meal there at least twice a day.

Only in the last hour did something mildly interesting happen, but it just reminded her of the first thing - with more of a criminal element.

As she had rounded a corner for a quieter street she distinctly heard a smash, the unmistakable sound of glass being broken. She stopped herself and watched from the corner. It was a pony of around her size, a bit bigger. He must have had a much smaller brain though because he was clearly trying to break into a closed bakery in broad daylight. A few ponies had stopped to look but none were approaching the stallion or attempted to stop him.

They didn’t need to. He stopped himself. He made it about halfway through the window and then was completely wedged, butt hanging out in a rather comical fashion that made Lethal Force smile. Once she had had a good giggle, she made herself known and approached him.

“Sir.”

“Not now, I’m almost in!”

“Sir. If you carry on I’m going to have to charge you with breaking and entering. So far I’m only charging you with property damage seeing as you haven’t technically made it all the way in.”

“Oh...is that um, a police pony behind me?”

“Indeed it is sir, now I suggest you wiggle your way out and accompany me to the station.”

“Of all the luck…”

Slowly, the stallion managed to push his blubbery body out of the now broken window and turned to face her, an expression of regret crossing it immediately.

“I’m sorry! It’s just, they make these amazing cakes...I thought I could take just a few…”

“Sure, just a few. Then it’s the entire counters worth and by the time you’re done you’re too bloated and fat to move. Don’t worry, I’ve seen it happen.” Lethal Force replied, putting him into a pair of hoof cuffs and gesturing the way they needed to go. “Also you know it’s a bakery right? If they’re shut for the day there’s no food left, they won’t start baking until early hours. Do you know anything about cooking?” she asked the stallion.

“No...only eating…” he confessed.

“You’re not the only one. Come on.”

And with that, she took him for a night in the cells. It was only a minor crime, the owners might press charges but he hadn’t taken anything, just broken their window. Lethal Force mused to herself what might happen on the next beat. Hopefully she wouldn’t run into more stuck ponies. Two in a day was enough.

Fireflash however, was still on her mind. Time to pay him a visit.