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Trauma

by Jay David

Chapter 1: Trauma


Trauma

Though Canterlot was her home for many years, it really did seem that, whenever Twilight needed to go back there, it was always for some big or important thing. Sadly, as much as she would have liked to just relax about the place every once in a while, it appeared as though, today at least, her presence there was very much in the former category. Walking along one of the many grand hallways of the Canterlot Royal Palace, Equestria's youngest Princess went around the Palace as though it was the most mundane locale she could be in, largely because she'd spent a good chunk of her youth there. Many of the guards saluted her approach and Twilight, ever polite, gave a smile and a nod to each in turn. Eventually, however, after turning one corner in particular, she found herself smiling wider. For there, standing just beyond a door on the side, was Princess Celestia, her beloved mentor. Her sister, Luna, was there also, and as Twilight drew nearer, she gave a respectful bow to the older alicorns.


"I'm glad to see you again, Princess."


Celestia smiled back, as did Luna, and the two returned the bow.


"And I you, Twilight," Celestia replied.


Standing tall again, Twilight's smile faded, for she knew that she was here for more than just a social visit.


"So...what's the problem?"


Hearing the question, Celestia and Luna's own smiles also reduced, and they gave each other concerned looks. Sighing, the older sister gestured to the door beside them, prompting Twilight to look to it herself. After a moment, she began to walk closer, and after a while, she peered through the circular window that lay at the top of the thing. Within was a comfortable room, ornate and well-furnished, like most of the rooms of the Palace. But, this room was not vacant, as Twilight could see that there was a lone mare within, sitting in a chair beside an old table. If one had been colour-blind, they might have assumed that this was her friend, Fluttershy. But the mare's colouring was completely different, with a blonde mane and bright white fur. It took a few seconds on Twilight's part, but eventually, she recognised this mare. She was one of several who had announced her arrival during her coronation as Princess some years back. But what truly mattered right now was the look on her face, which seemed to be one of both worry and shame all at once.


"Her name is Tulip."


Celestia's voice drew Twilight to looking back at her teacher, and as she looked to her, the mare of the sun continued.


"She's one of our standard-bearers, but during non-official functions, she serves as an aide to us, along with her sisters."


Luna nodded, addressing Twilight herself now.


"But lately, she's been having some...difficulties."


Tilting her head, Twilight showed clear confusion.


"What do you mean?"


Celestia sighed before continuing.


"A few days ago, my sister and I were having dinner with a few of the nobles from here in the city. Tulip and all of her sisters were there serving us at the time."


Luna spoke next.


"Everything was going well, but then, one of the guests accidentally dropped one of their plates when offering it to one of the serving staff."


Celestia looked to the door with concern.


"As soon as it smashed, Tulip just...broke down."


Twilight turned to the door herself.


"Broke down?"


Celestia nodded.


"She started crying. Nopony knew what was wrong. It was as if...she just couldn't handle even being there."


Twilight, for a time, just stared at the uncomfortable mare within that room, but when she was done, she glanced back over to her elders.


"Do you know what's wrong?"


Slowly, Celestia looked to her sister, who answered in her stead.


"I have witnessed her dreams in the days since, and...I believe you, Twilight, are perhaps the only one suited to speaking with her."


Again, Twilight was confused by this.


"Me? But...I'm not exactly a counsellor."


To that, Celestia offered a small smile, reaching forward and gently placing her hoof upon Twilight's shoulder.


"Trust me...when you speak with her...it will become clear."


If there was one thing people could say with absolute certainty about Twilight Sparkle, it's that she put her uttermost trust in the words of Princess Celestia. So, with that assurance given, the young mare nodded to her, then, lighting up her horn, she opened the door of the room, entering it at last. After closing it behind her, the first thing that struck her was just how quiet it was here. The only real sound was that of a clock on the nearby wall. But, that all changed when Tulip, ever so slowly, turned to look at the new arrival here. Her eyes widened, and she got up from her seat, her words almost panicked as she began to speak.


"Oh! Princess Twilight! I...I didn't know you’d be here!"


Giving a kind smile, Twilight walked closer to her.


"Celestia asked me to come."


Tulip hung her head slightly, looking a touch embarrassed.


"I...I'm not sure if you remember me?"


Twilight's smile widened.


"You were there on one of the most important days of my life. Trust me, I remember you."


Tulip smiled, and as Twilight finally reached the table, both mares took a seat opposite one another, with the former being slightly slower as she did so. For a time, neither said a word, and Twilight watched as her new acquaintance reached forward for a small glass of water that had been resting on the table there. And here, Twilight noticed that her hooves were shaking, so much so that some of that aforementioned water almost spilled out. But Tulip stilled that hoof by placing her other hoof on top of it, letting out a sigh as she did so. She took a sip and, after placing the glass back down, started speaking up again.


"I'm sorry you were called out here just for me."


Twilight shook her head.


"It's no bother. Believe me, I'm used to going all over the place to help ponies by now."


Tulip tried to smile at that, but she soon looked away, seeming almost ashamed of something. It was a look Twilight did not miss.


"So...may I ask what's been bothering you?"


Tulip shook her head.


"It's...it's nothing, Princess."


Twilight frowned slightly.


"I doubt that's true, Tulip. Why don't we start by talking about the dinner?"


Hearing that, Tulip gained a frown of her own.


"It was stupid of me. I'd been in situations like that a hundred times. But...when that plate broke, I...I..."


She shut her eyes tightly, letting out a deep sigh.


"It was like...the attack."


Twilight's ears perked up.


"Attack?"


Looking to her, Tulip nodded.


"Yeah, the...that Changeling invasion. During your brother's wedding?"


Twilight grimaced, remembering that day well.


"What happened?" she asked.


Tulip closed her eyes again, calling back the memories of that unpleasant event.


"I was with my sisters, and we were all getting ready for our role in the wedding. It was the usual thing, arrive ahead and announce Celestia and Luna. Nothing out of the ordinary. But, as we were just in the middle of our rehearsal..."


A look of fear crossed her face.


"...one of the Changelings burst through the window. We all screamed as this...this fanged monster snarled and hissed at us. Nopony knew what to do, glasses and the plates of our afternoon tea were breaking as it went frantic in our room, and it...it lunged at me."


She held herself.


"It pinned me to the ground, and I...I thought it was going to kill me!"


Twilight leaned forward, fully fixed on her story.


"And then?"


Tulip sighed again.


"One of the guards burst in, and drove it off. But...I'd never been in a situation like that before."


Slowly, Twilight smiled.


"Well, at least you managed to get out of it okay."


But Tulip wasn’t smiling. Instead, she avoided Twilight's gaze, prompting the young Princess to suddenly start looking to her with greater interest.


"Unless...that wasn’t the only thing on your mind?"


Tulip shook her head, and after being given as much time as she needed to get her thoughts in order, she carried on.


"A year or two later, I was talking to some some friends, here in the castle. Then, all of a sudden, there was a clamour. Everypony was panicking, I didn't know why. I asked around and...I heard this...laughter."


Slowly, she looked to Twilight.


"It...it was Discord."


Instantly, Twilight knew where this was going, and looked away, a pained expression on her face. Tulip, seeing that, continued.


"He snapped his fingers, and me and everypony nearby were all just huddled together, like animals. We tried to get free, but...that's when...he came."


Even knowing what was about to be said, Twilight still had no comfort in looking back to her colleague as she carried on speaking.


"Tirek...that...that creature who wanted our magic. He opened out mouth and we just...we just felt like there was nothing left in us. Discord laughed, and Tirek...he looked at us with such...such hate."


Gradually, Tulip cast her eyes upwards, to Twilight once more.


"I am so grateful to you, Princess. To you and your friends for stopping him, for stopping all of it."


In that moment, Twilight began to understand why she'd been called here, and why her mentor believed she alone could speak to this mare. A smile came to her, and she reached forward, placing her hoof upon Tulip's.


"There's no need to thank me. My friends and I did what we had to."


Tulip nodded, her eyes darting away briefly.


"You always did. Like when...when the storm creature came to the city."


Twilight nodded back, knowing well the story that was about to be told.


"Me and my friends, my sisters...those beasts muzzled us, chained us. We were slaves. I still remember how they carted us about, gave us orders, threatened to hurt us if we didn't obey. It was...terrible."


Looking to her, Twilight's eyes narrowed. She could see, perhaps for the first time in this conversation, slight signs of rubbing upon Tulip's cheek, no doubt where that muzzle had been forced onto her. In that moment of silence, the shaken mare placed her hoof upon that spot, as though it still ached.


"I...I realise you must think me silly after all of this."


Twilight was taken aback by those words.


"What?! Why?"


That same look of shame returned to Tulip, and she avoided looking to the Princess.


"It's just...so many ponies have been through what I've been through. The Changeling invasion, Tirek stealing our magic, the abuse of the storm creatures, and a great deal more. They've all walked away with smiles on their faces...and here's me...shaking like a frightened child."


Her concerns were written all over her face, and Twilight's own expression softened considerably. Here was a hurt mare, who had perhaps never spoken to anypony else about the way she now felt, not even to her own family, as though merely thinking of it was something to be ashamed of. Slowly, Twilight once more held her hoof, gaining her attention.


"Tulip...I can never claim to have felt the way you now do, even having gone through much of it myself. And you're right, many ponies have actually come out of those dark times as though nothing was wrong."


She frowned slightly.


"But...don't ever think that I or anypony else will ever look down on you for feeling this way. Nopony can blame you for struggling with having endured that much, nor should they."


Tulip looked to her, still seeming worried.


"But..."


Twilight raised a hoof.


"No buts! Tulip...I'm here for you. We all are! Maybe it never occurred to us before that there could be somepony who needed to talk about this...but I assure you...I'm going to make sure that you're given every bit of help needed to get you through this."


Tulip could see the honesty and earnestness in the young Princess' face as she'd said that. Twilight had meant ever word of it, and as such, that sentiment touched her deeply, to the point where she was even starting to get a little teary-eyed. Her voice became tinted with slight sobbing, and after wiping some of those aforementioned tears before they even had the chance to fall, the pegasus gave back a genuine smile.


"Th...thank you, Princess. I..I don't know what to say."


Twilight smiled back.


"You don't need to say anything, Tulip. Just...go at your own pace here."


It was clear that Tulip appreciated those words, and as she reached for her glass of water, she seemed, for the moment at least, able to keep her hooves steady this time. Twilight was glad to see this, and as she got up from her chair, she gave Tulip a look that made it clear that, while she was leaving for now, she was going to be back for her later. Tulip smiled and nodded to this, watching the Princess go. Before long, Twilight was once more outside the room, and there, just as before, was Celestia and Luna, having apparently waited for her.


"...Well? How is she?" Celestia asked.


Looking over her shoulder, Twilight sighed.


"She's...struggling. But, I think that, with enough help...she might get some peace back into her life."


Celestia took that in, but it was now Luna who spoke next.


"It disturbs me greatly, to think that such pains could build up in our people like this, and go unnoticed for so long."


Twilight looked to her, giving a look of agreement.


"I know. I suppose I've just taken it for granted, that we can weather any storm that comes our way. But how many more like Tulip are out there? How many mares, stallions, or even children have this hurt bottled up, with nopony to talk to about it? How many who are as shaken as her, yet go about their day with smiles on their faces, all for the sake of appearances?"


Stepping forward, Celestia placed her hoof upon Twilight's shoulder, giving a reassuring look.


"I can't answer that question, Twilight. But what I can tell you is that we will not rest until such ponies are given the aid they so need. Evil may have been vanquished on those past days...but that does not mean its effects do not still linger. Some poisons...just work too slow to notice."


Nodding, Twilight gave a final look to that door beside her.


"In that case...let's do what we can."

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