A door clicks shut, and low voices wake me up. The flare of panic fades quickly this time. I didn’t get to sleep very long, so it’s easier to remember where I am. I can’t understand what Twilight and Fluttershy are saying in their worried voices, but I don’t really care. I’m tired and sore, and I really don’t want to talk about what happened anymore- especially if Twilight is just going to ask me more questions.

Rare must have heard my breath hitch when I woke up because she asks quiet enough that only I’ll be able to hear, “Shall I ask them to leave?”

“No,” I sigh. “Maybe I’ll just pretend to be asleep if that’s cool.”

“Of course, darling.”

She’s laying next to me with her sketchbook open again. I have just enough time to close the little gap between us and shut my eyes. She tenses a little, then runs a hoof gently through my mane just as there’s a quiet knock at the door.

“May we come in?” Twilight asks hesitantly.

“Yes, of course, darlings. We’re just resting. I believe Rainbow may have fallen asleep though.” Rares answers smoothly, and I silently thank Celestia that Rarity is the best liar I know. “How did it go?”

“As well as could be expected,” Twilight says. I hear a door open, then two soft plops, then Twi and Shy laying down. Rares must have got some cushions out of her closet. I’m glad it’s just going to be me and Rarity on the bed for now. I’m still on edge from having Twilight treat me like a suspect or a science experiment earlier.

“Thank you,” Fluttershy says politely.

“No trouble at all, darling,” Rarity answers. “Twilight, you were saying…”

“Oh, yes,” Twilight sounds like she was distracted and Rarity just brought her back to the present, but she goes on matter of factly, “We got there just in time. Applejack and Mac were in the barn. I had just enough time to explain the charges before the guards arrived to take him away.”

“He didn’t even try to deny it,” Fluttershy says with the same venom she had before they left. Apparently, seeing Mac carted off by guards didn’t make her feel any better.

“How’s Applejack?” Rarity asks quickly.

Fluttershy sighs and sounds a lot more like herself this time. “In shock.”

“It sounded like she might have been trying to get some answers out of him when we got there,” Twilight adds. “She was yelling something as we walked up. She wanted to come back with us to check on Dash. I think it hurt her feelings when we told her that Rainbow didn’t want to see her yet, but she’s trying to be understanding.”

Rarity nods. “Poor dear, what all this mess must be doing to her…” Rare’s words hang heavy in the air for long enough that I start to think about trying to sleep again to get away from the weight of everything, but then she says, “What happens now?”

“There will be a hearing,” Twi answers mechanically. “Maybe two. Celestia sent a checklist of things we need to do. Rainbow needs to see a doctor as soon as possible. You’ll both probably want to talk to attorneys. Guards will be coming by to take your statements again. Dash shoul-”

“Was the report we gave to you insufficient in some way?” Rare’s voice is mostly innocent when she stops Twilight from repeating all the things on my new ‘To-do’ list, but she also sounds a little defensive. She doesn’t want to answer all the same questions again any more than I do.

“Celestia wants to make sure that any potential conflicts of interest are dealt with from the start,” Twi explains. “Big Mac didn’t resist when the guards took him away, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to mount a defense in court. If he does, having the evidence collected by objective third parties will be critical. Celestia is recusing herself from the case for the same reason. The whole situation will be handled by a judicial panel.”

“That seems a bit extreme, doesn’t it?” Rare asks.

“Perhaps,” Twilight replies, “but it’s better to be cautious. The whole process will be a lot more unpleasant for everypony if it has to be repeated because of an error or a successful appeal.”

“If you say so, Twilight.” Rarity sounds bugged, and I totally get why. Celestia could just deal with this, and it could all be over. I get what Twilight’s saying too though, even if sucks. Having the Princess do an end-run around all the court stuff might just make a bigger mess for everypony if Mac decides to be a jerk. And since he was a big enough jerk to rape me, that doesn’t seem like as much of a stretch as it used to.

“Wh- what will happen to him?” Fluttershy asks in a low voice.

“He’ll be behind bars in Canterlot until the hearing,” Twilight explains. “If everything goes perfectly, then a sentence will be handed down the day of trial, which could happen in as little as a month, and he’ll be there for at least five years. That’s not a very likely scenario though.”

“Why not?” I’m pretty sure Shy just stomped her hoof, and she sounds even more pissed off than she did a minute ago. Her tone makes me and Rarity both flinch.

“Any decent defense attorney is going to say that they weren’t given enough time to prepare a proper defense,” Twi’s still using that matter of fact tone she always uses when she explains stuff.

“What defense could he possibly offer?” Rare fires back acidly.

“I can think of two or three possibilities,” Twi mumbles sounding a little flustered.

“Isn’t there any chance he’ll just confess?” Fluttershy chimes in.

“Fair point, Fluttershy,” Rarity echoes. “We are talking about Applejack’s brother after all.”

There’s a pause and I risk opening my good eye just a little to watch Twilight shaking her head at her fidgeting hooves. “I don’t know,” she finally says.

“Yes,” Rare sighs. “I suppose we can’t rely on our impressions of him as much as we might have in the past.”

“Exactly,” Twilight says.

“He really gets to avail himself of the full legal system?” Rarity asks after another long pause.

“Of course he does, Rarity,” Twilight answers, frustrated. “And there are enough problems with this case already that he may have a reasonable chance of being let go on probation.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Rare doesn’t do much to hide being defensive this time.

“I mean that Dash’s failure to report this right away may cause some problems,” Twilight snaps back. “Not to mention that it’s going to be pretty hard to convince anypony that Big Mac did this. I’m struggling to believe it. So, unless Mac decides just to take responsibility for what happened, Rainbow’s whole version of events is going to be torn apart.”

“That’s bullshit, Twilight, and you know it,” Fluttershy says.

“No, it isn’t,” I say as I sit up. It doesn’t matter that she just said exactly what I was thinking. Hearing her talk like that makes me mad. Shy doesn’t curse. She definitely doesn’t swear at her friends. After everything else Mac took from me, he doesn’t get to mess up Fluttershy too.

“How can you say that, Dashie? He ra-”

“Raped me? Yeah, I know that Fluttershy.” I’m angry, and I’m not trying to hide it. “Guess what? You aren’t the only one that’s mad about it and hearing you go off about it like that isn’t helping.”

Shy’s ears fold back flat against her head.

“Hey,” Twilight puffs up instantly in Shy’s defense, even though she was just as close to actually arguing with Fluttershy as anypony except me ever gets. “Fluttershy didn’t do anything wrong. She just-.”

I know Twi is right about Fluttershy not doing anything wrong, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve been fighting to stay numb since the moment I realized Rarity wasn’t going to let anything else bad happen to me, but now I’m mad. I’m mad at both of them for looking at me with the same condescending expression. I’m mad at Twilight for making it sound like Fluttershy has some excuse to turn into a jerk because of what happened to me. I’m mad because I understand why Mac gets to defend himself, and there’s a part of my brain that is racing to figure out if I did do something wrong to set him off. I’m mad because there is a raging part of me that says all of this is my fault. I’m mad because I got raped by somepony I trusted. I’m just mad.

I’m about to tell Twilight to go fuck herself, but Rarity cuts me off before I can start yelling. “I think we’ve all had enough conversation for now.” There’s no doubt about it. Marshmallow just told us all, in no uncertain terms, to shut up in her perfectly polite and controlled voice. “Twilight, is there an appointment with a doctor in place we need to keep?”

“No, I was going to ask Rainbow who she’s most comfortable seeing.”

“I don’t want to see a doctor,” I say petulantly, crossing my forelegs over my chest. I know I’m not getting out of it, but that’s not the point right now.

“I’ll take care of the arrangements,” Rarity says ignoring me.

“It needs to happen today if possible,” Twilight says.

I turn and hide from Twilight’s words in Rarity’s chest, like a foal hiding behind their mother. Rare drapes a foreleg over my shoulders but soldiers on. “What about the interviews with the guardsponies?” she asks.

“You both have to go in to the Guard Station. If you haven’t gone by the end of the day, somepony will come here to question you.” Twilight is using her ‘I’m a princess, and this is just the way it is’ voice.

Rarity answers in her ‘I’m too cool and uppity to lose my shit, but if I wasn’t then I’d be ripping a new hole in your plot’ voice: “Very well. Thank you, Twilight. I’m sorry, but I think it’s time for the two of you to go.”

Twilight and Fluttershy both balk.

“W-won’t you need some help?” Fluttershy asks looking around anxiously. She makes it seem like there’s no reason for me to be here, like the one place I want to be- the one place I feel safe- isn’t good enough or something. Plus, she’s looking at Rarity like Rare just said she was about to build an airship by herself, like there’s just no way Rare can take care of me on her own.

It makes me want to scream. I know caretaking is Shy’s thing, but she isn’t the only pony alive that can do it. I get it. If something like this happened to somepony else, Rarity isn’t who I’d expect to be in charge of things either, but Rare isn’t an idiot. She isn’t going to hurt me. She’s the only one that hasn’t made me feel bad for getting raped. Plus, just because I’m messed up doesn’t mean I couldn’t just take care of myself if I had to.

I must be shaking or something because Rarity starts rubbing my shoulder to try and calm me down. “We’ll manage,” she assures Fluttershy. “But, thank you for the offer.”

“Please just go, Shy,” My voice shakes with anger and frustration. I really don’t want to totally lose my cool in front of her or Twilight. I just want them to go away. “I’m sorry for being mean or whatever. I just…I just need you to go. Ok? I promise I’ll be ok here, Rare is taking good care of me... Maybe try coming back later.” The last sentence is a really lame consolation prize but it’s all I have to give.

Flutters looks uncomfortable, but she stands up and starts to walk out with her tail tucked between her legs and her ears flopped back against her head. “Ok,” she says in her weakest, most defeated voice.

I hate it when she does that. I can never stay mad and just let her go when she sounds like that. “Hey Shy?”

She stops and looks back at me. “Yes?”

“Can I get a hug before you go?” I really don’t want a hug, but I don’t want her to go away mad or sad.

She smiles a little and the hardness in her eyes disappears. She walks over and gives me a hug, wrapping her wings around me for a couple seconds. It’s uncomfortable and makes me feel panicky, but it’s worth it to feel like we’re ok.

Twilight is standing around looking awkward when Shy lets go. “Come on, Egghead,” I say, waving her over, then hold my breath through another hug.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight says as she squeezes me gently. “I know I-”

“It’s ok,” I cut her off, because I know I can’t handle hearing her try to make excuses. As she pulls away I add, “I’d just really like to see my buddy, Twilight Sparkle, later if she’s around.”

Twi’s ears droop. “Of course, Rainbow. I’ll see you tonight.”

Rarity was scribbling a note while Twilight was hugging me. As Twi heads toward the door, Rares levitates it over. “Twilight, will you please give this to Spike for me?”

“Of course, what is it?”

“Just a little something I need his help with.”

I listen to them go down the stairs and out the door before I relax. “Thanks, Rare,” I sigh, trying to keep the irritated edge out of my voice.

Rarity nods, “She’s very worried about you, you know. Twilight as well. And if I’m not much mistaken, Fluttershy may also be feeling a bit betrayed. She and Macintosh have been friends for quite a long time.”

“No shit.” I can’t hold back the sarcasm.

“I’m sorry, Dash,” she snaps, but bites her lip and takes a deep breath before going on. Then, more gently, she adds, “I didn’t mean to belabor the obvious. I only meant to say that we’ve all be thrown by recent events and we each react to this kind of thing in our own way. Fluttershy loves you dearly. She’s devoted and protective of you. You are one of the very few ponies she feels comfortable enough with to react this way.”

Rare has a good point. Fluttershy wouldn’t be so messed up if she didn’t care about me. She’s literally the very last pony that would ever want somepony to suffer for something they did wrong. Even when I screw up royally, she doesn’t want me to freak out about it. She just tells me what I did wrong and forgives me. Then we move on. But this… what happened to me… It’s so bad that my friend, who is honestly more like my sister, wants somepony to hurt because of it. And that really does just make everything worse, because it’s not just me that’s messed up. It’s not just Rare. It’s everypony and that freaking sucks!

Anger starts rising up again and I hate it. I don’t want to be angry. I am not an angry pony. Shit happens and I get over it. I laugh about it. I can laugh off just about anything, but I can’t make myself laugh about this. I want to shrug it off. I want to say it’s no big deal, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do or how to handle all of it, and it makes me mad.

“Would you like some space?” Rare offers.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” I answer gruffly, even though space is exactly what I need and I know it. The thought of being alone and vulnerable just freaks me out too much. Plus, I don’t know how to deal with any of this. My first instinct is to go fly for a little while and just forget about all of it, but I can’t. I’m stuck on the stupid ground and I don’t know how to deal with stuff here.

“I don’t have to leave, Rainbow. I just thought you might need a moment.”

The only response I can think of is to shrug and grunt. After that, we sit in silence. A silence that stretches like a huge void all around, with us stuck in the middle and no way out. Feeling isolated with Rarity makes me even angrier because I don’t know how to fix it. I want to be alone, but I can’t let her leave. I don’t even know what will happen if she goes away. I just know that I can’t face being alone with the memories.

After a minute, she relaxes back so she’s leaning on the headboard and starts sketching again. She looks like shit. Her mane is kind of frizzy. Her coat is matted in some places and ruffed up in others. She has bags under her eyes. Her face is clean. She wiped the rest of the eyeshadow out of the creases of her eyelids at some point, but she looks grey instead of her usual bright white. We’ve been through some tough times, but I’ve never seen her look this bad.

The worst part is that she doesn’t even care. She isn’t fussing over how messy she is or making a break for the bathroom now that we have five seconds to chill out.

“When was the last time you slept?” I ask.

“The night before last.”

“You didn’t sleep at all earlier?”

“No. It simply wasn’t possible.”

It’s so easy to remember all the rants she’s been on about 'beauty sleep’. Hearing her sound like that, like sleep isn’t even a big deal, like it’s something she just doesn’t care about, is just one more thing that makes me feel like crap.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“There’s nothing you need to apologize for, Rainbow.”

I feel like I’m finally able to really see her. It really is Rarity. Rarity really saved me. The fog of getting attacked dissipates for just a moment, so I can finally see my friend. There’s something haunted in her eyes, a heavy darkness that I’ve never seen before. I wonder if her mind keeps replaying things like mine does. Maybe she’s remembering what it was like to rush out of her house and see a stallion rutting a screaming, resisting mare. Or, what it was like to realize that the screaming mare was me.

She's still beautiful though. She’s still Rarity.

“Do you want to take a shower?” I ask. “You look like crap.”

“You flatterer,” she retorts but her heart isn’t in it.

She’s looking at me but not like she usually does. There’s no drama- no performance. She isn’t appraising me for some new outfit or judging me for anything. There’s no pity or anger. She’s just waiting- waiting to see what I need. She’d do anything I asked, and not because she feels bad for me. We’re just in this together. I’m messed up and she doesn’t care. She won’t cringe away or try to make me do anything I don’t want to. She’s just going to be here and be whatever I need. She’s going to take care of me and that’s all there is to it.

I could leave if I wanted. I know she wouldn’t try to stop me. She’d pack a bag for me and walk me to wherever I wanted to go. Helping me isn’t about her thinking that she’s the best pony for the job or anything like that. It isn’t really about anything. It just is. This is where I want to be. This is where I feel safe. She’s who I trust to take care of me and watch over me while I sleep. She accepts all of that and doesn’t have a problem with it. So, because she’s Rarity, she’s going to do everything she can to make me feel as comfortable as I can.

“Just go shower, Rarity.” I give her a little push. I don’t want her to go away but looking at her is making me feel guilty. “I’ll be ok.”

“If you’re certain,” she says as she stands up and heads to the bathroom. Rare’s never been one to turn down a hot shower.

“Rare?” I stop her right when she gets to the door. I hate the edge of panic and desperation in my voice that makes her stop to look back at me, and I fidget for a second before saying, “Keep the door open?”

“Of course,” she says with a weak, comforting smile. After the shower starts and a bunch of sounds that I don’t recognize, I see steam and smell something flowery wafting out of the bathroom.

From my place on the bed, I can see her in front of the mirror brushing her mane and washing her face. I’ve literally never watched Rarity get ready. I’ve been in the room while she got ready; I just didn’t pay attention. Watching her now keeps me from thinking about other stuff. I wince as she works through an especially thick tangle but she doesn’t seem to care about it at all. It’s just part of her routine.

She looks my way every couple of seconds. I don’t know if she’s worried, or weirded out that I’m watching her. Now that I know what she looks like when she’s really worried, it’s easy to think back and realize how often I missed seeing it.

I always thought it was so weird when Rare would just show up places. Like when it started raining chocolate milk and she decided to suit up and go to Sweet Apple Acres. When I told AJ that I thought it was weird, she just laughed at me. Then she told me that anytime stuff goes weird with the weather, Rare goes to see if she can help. That’s how she ended up helping prune branches and stuff before Twilight’s first slumber party.

When Applejack told me all that stuff, I just thought that if Rarity paid so much attention to the weather calendar, then she shouldn’t have complained so damn much when her mane got wet or her hooves got muddy. I didn’t get what AJ was really trying to tell me. Rarity worries and she shows up. She tries to do it on the sly, so nopony notices, but AJ noticed and now I feel kind of stupid for not noticing it sooner.

Maybe it’s weird, but I kind of hope she’s worried about me. If she’s worried, then she’ll keep me safe. She’ll take care of me the way she takes care of everything else. It might be showy and ridiculous sometimes, but it will be with more care and thought about every little thing than anypony else would do it. And the more stuff Rare takes care of for me, the less I have to worry about screwing up.

Plus, so far she’s the only pony that seems like she can handle all the feelings stuff. Rarity isn’t usually my first choice for talking about feelings, even though she’s always been pretty good at understanding what I’m trying to say when I have stuff I want to talk about.

Usually, I talk to AJ, or Pinkie Pie, or Fluttershy. It just seems to work out that way. But I can’t talk to any of them this time. I’m not even sure if Applejack believes that Mac raped me. She might be thinking about bucking me into next week for getting her brother hauled off to jail. Pinkie could handle it, but I couldn’t handle asking her to handle it. I’d feel guilty for making her be sad and serious. Fluttershy is just way too messed up about everything. Seeing her mad and stuff is already making everything worse. If I really got into it and let her see how all of this is getting to me, she’d probably get herself arrested or something. Plus, she’s way too used to taking care of hurt animals. Getting treated like that would just piss me off. And she keeps looking at me like I just got raped.

Rarity gives me worried looks, but she doesn’t look at me like she’s waiting for me to freak out, or cry, or ask for a hug or a bowl of soup. She hasn’t tried to get me to talk about very much yet, which is pretty weird considering it’s Rarity. She’s good at all the feelings stuff. So, maybe she just knows that I need time, and when I’m ready to talk she’ll be ready to listen and help me figure everything out.

When her mane is done, she gives me one more long look. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” she asks.

“Yeah, Marshmallow.” I wave her off but my voice shakes a little. “Just don’t take too long.”

She nods and moves just out of sight to step into the shower.

I’m surprised that she doesn’t react to the nickname. She doesn’t even sigh at me. I’ve always wanted to call her Marshmallow, but I figured she’d kick my flank, so I never did it. I wonder if she really doesn’t care or if she’s just waiting to get in my face about it later. There's something about it that makes me feel like me; like I’m doing something fun and just a little bit brave, because she could totally still kick my flank if she wanted to.

I never had to try to be brave before. Life happened and at the end of the adventure I found out I’d done something awesome. Trying to be brave just made me into an idiot. I’ll never forget what it felt like to realize that Mare Do Well was really my best friends. I was so obsessed with my own awesomeness that I couldn’t even see how dumb I was being.

Suddenly, I can’t move. I don’t know why it happens- maybe it’s remembering that I’d been a total idiot; maybe it’s finally having a few minutes of just being by myself; maybe enough time has passed and enough feelings have been shoved down into boxes inside me that I just can’t handle it anymore. Whatever the reason, something brings everything crashing down in my brain.

I can’t breathe.

Huge hooves are slamming down on my flanks and something way too big is pounding against me from the inside trying to split me open.

There’s painful nipping at my neck that leaves each spot wet and slick with stallion spit. Then a hot nose nuzzles into the spot between my withers. His enormous weight is crushing down on my wings, as I'm trying desperately to break free so I can fly away.

I try to kick my leg, and lose my balance, only to realize he’s holding me so tight that it doesn’t matter. Laughter rumbles through his barrel and he hums, then says something about how he’s glad I’m enjoying myself.

My stomach lurches like I’m going to throw up. I want to scream, but there’s a strong foreleg crushing my throat and stopping the sound.

I shut my eyes, trying to make it all go away, and tell myself that it isn’t real; but closing my eyes just makes everything worse. Not being able to see where I really am makes the memories too strong. They are real, and they are now, and they won’t stop. They run on a loop over, and over, and over.

The pain doesn’t feel like a memory. It feels fresh and new. My forehead catching on something again and again. My wings crunching and the sharp, blinding sensation burning through every part of me. Something in my chest cracking, making it impossible to catch my breath.

I finally manage to open my eyes again. Rarity is standing there dripping water all over her fancy rug. Reaching for me just like she did last night, like she wants to help but she’s afraid to make it worse. I think she said something that helped me snap out of it.

I throw myself at her, wrapping my forelegs around her neck and burying my muzzle in her dripping mane. I need to feel anything that isn’t Mac, anything that will help me forget or at least help me remember that it’s over.

“I need a shower,” I gasp desperately.

She carries me into the bathroom. I can’t even begin to try and process how she’s managing to carry me with one leg and walk on the other three. I’m holding onto her so hard that she could probably just let me go and I wouldn’t fall anyway.

The shower is still on. She sets me on my hooves in the bottom of the tub. I don’t let go of her neck, but she manages to climb in with me somehow.

“Hotter,” I beg. The handle of the shower squeaks and the water starts to burn. I don’t know how she can stand it. For me, it feels like acid burning him away. It hurts but it helps.

We stand like that for a long time. I can still feel his hooves on my body and I don’t want to. I need to not feel like this anymore.

“Rare?” My voice is muffled, because I still have my muzzle buried in her mane.

“I’m here, Rainbow,” she answers gently.

“Please touch me.” I hear her breath catch just a little. “Please, Rare. I know it’s weird. He’s just all over me. Please just make it stop. Please.” I’m begging her. I wish I could cry but the tears won’t come. I know what I’m asking doesn’t make sense. It’s definitely not something I ever thought I’d ask from Rarity, but I need it. I need her to help me. I need her to make it stop.

She turns her muzzle into my neck and nuzzles me a little. “Alright,” she says in her brave voice.

She rears up a little. so we’re both on our hind legs and wraps her forelegs around me. I feel her hooves following the lines of the muscles in my back. She outlines my wings. Her muzzle softly slides across my neck and shoulder. The touch is soothing; smooth, and soft, and firm. It’s almost like I’ve been burned and she’s applying salve to my entire body.

I let my own hooves wander. I paw through her mane and trace the line of her spine. She’s holding me up but her muscles feel relaxed. She’s soft but solid at the same time. I let myself get lost in trying to memorize the feel of her coat. I close my eyes and force myself to match her breathing again. My whole world becomes touch and Rarity. She must have shampooed her mane before she realized I was freaking out. The smell is different than whatever she used last night. It’s stronger, more floral, but she still smells like clean laundry underneath the new flowery smell.

The touching and breathing don’t make me forget. I still feel all the pain and panic. There’s just a new layer of sensation on top of everything, and focusing on that helps me remember what’s real.

It takes a long time. The water is running cold when my heart rate finally goes back to normal. Rarity must feel it too, because she takes a deep breath and steps back to give me some space.

Her blue aura turns the squeaky handle again to turn the water off. “Do you want to wait for them to come here for your statement?” she asks the question like it’s an apology.

“No.” My answer is immediate and defensive. This is my safe place. I don’t want anypony else here.

“Then we had better go.”

I droop when I realize why she’s asking this right now. “You’ll stay with me?” I ask.

“If I can. I doubt they’ll let me for the interrogation.”

“At the doctor?”

“Every second.”

I nod and we climb out of the shower. She wraps me in a towel and does that magic air dry thing on both of us. Then she turns to the mirror. She rubs some stuff through her mane and her tail, gives each a quick brush, then starts braiding them both at the same time with her magic.

“Braids?” I ask. I can’t remember ever seeing her with basic braids in her hair, but I also can’t really remember seeing her with her hair done anyway except for her normal look.

“Just enough to have it dealt with,” she answers distractedly before she twists her mane braid up into a bun. Instantly, she looks like Rarity again- like she’s going to a party where she’s way too good for anypony there.

She turns to me. “May I?” she asks and I nod.

She brushes my mane by hoof, then rubs in some stuff and tousles my hair around. I don’t have to look in the mirror, she got it right. She reaches for a body brush and looks at me with a question mark. I nod again. Slowly and painfully, I lift my wings out of the way and stretch them as far as I can handle.

“Quite a few feathers are ready to come out,” she mumbles and I’m not sure if she’s really talking to me.

“We’ll take care of it later,” I say. Meaning that she’ll take care of it later. I can probably reach my primaries, no problem, but anything closer to my body will be painful.

“Tail?” she asks.

“Go ahead.”

She gives my tail the same treatment she gave my mane. She’s about to walk out of the bathroom, when I say, “Didn’t you forget something?”

“Did I?” she looks around a little confused.

I grab the body brush. I start to give it to her but stop. “Can I do it?” I ask.

She blushes. I don't know why, but something about it makes me feel normal. I almost chuckle. It only lasts for a second though.

“Please?” I ask earnestly. She hesitates a little then nods and steps back toward me.

It’s actually soothing having something methodical to do. I start on her neck. She stands perfectly still. She never corrects me or complains, even though I know there are places where I mess up. I look for the places I noticed earlier where her coat went the wrong way from having me pressed against it and give those extra attention. It doesn’t take a very long time, but when I step back I notice the difference. Even better, I notice the difference in Rarity. She’s carrying herself a little taller. That’s good because we’re about to go outside, and I have no idea how I’m going to handle that. I need Rarity to be on pointe.

Walking down from the apartment to the showroom sucks. It hurts. I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming or yelping. Every step down with a forehoof makes my aching chest strain. Every step down with one of my back hooves makes my eyes tear because it feels like I’ve been ripped in half.

When we get to the base of the stairs, Rarity says, “Come with me. I think I’ve got something that should do.”

I don’t know what she’s talking about, but I assume it’s clothes. I have to take a minute to catch my breath before following her through the little hallway to the showroom.

It’s late afternoon. The sun is shining through one of the windows. Across from me is the giant three-panel mirror in the fitting area. I can’t see myself in it from this angle, but I decide it’s time to look at the damage. As Rarity walks into her workroom, I walk to the mirrors. I close my eyes and take the last three steps into position.

The pegasus in the mirror is pathetic. Her mane looks good but that’s pretty much the only thing she’s got going for her. Somepony obviously beat the shit out of her. There is a giant dark bruise on her neck that has darker lines running through it. There’s a bunch of gnarly gashes on her forehead just above an eye that is almost swollen shut. She’s cradling wings that obviously need to to be preened, and that wouldn’t keep a paper plane in the air.

I turn to the side.

The pegasus has bruises all along her ribs on both sides. There’s more than one bite mark on her neck. Her cutie marks each have the very clear outline of a huge hoof around them. The slut let some stallion tag her- hard. Her hooves are banged up too. They're chipped and cracked. Her forelegs have some scratches, even a few deeps cuts.

Rare clears her throat a little and I force myself to look away from the mirrors. She’s is standing close with something blue hovering next to her.

“This was supposed to be for your birthday,” she says. “I haven’t finished all the details but it’s wearable.”

It’s a Wonderbolts jacket- almost exactly like the official team jackets, but with a few custom touches. It’s awesome, but I can tell that it stops just past my wings.

“Do you have anything longer?” I look back at my cutie marks.

“Of course. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool, Rare. I just don’t want anypony to see.”

“I understand.” She pauses for a second. “I need to run upstairs. I have just the thing.” She floats the Wonderbolts jacket back to the workroom. I lean toward her as she walks by and she nuzzles my cheek. “I’ll be right back,” she promises.

I don’t look in the mirror while she’s gone. I don’t need to see that pathetic excuse for a pony again. I look around the shop but don’t really see anything. It’s just a blur of colors. That’s how I usually feel in here anyway.

She’s only gone for a minute. She comes back with a navy blue trench coat. It’s a lot like one of the outfits she wore when all that stuff went down with Wind Rider. “Do you want me to take a moment and cut holes for your wings?” she asks while I’m looking it over.

“Hell no. This is perfect.”

She nods and helps me put the coat on. It fits pretty good. She pops the collar for me, and I look in the mirror. The pathetic weakling is gone, and Rainbow Dash is looking back at me. The cover-up is pretty good, but the expression is all wrong. It’ll have to do.

“Ok, Marshmallow. Let’s do this.”