The kitchen isn’t big enough for three alicorns and five ponies. Neither is the sitting room; so Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and me are all hanging out in the showroom’s sitting area waiting for Rarity. Fluttershy and Pinkie both offered to help put stuff on trays or whatever, but Rare insisted she needed a few minutes to collect her thoughts.

The Princesses seem ok with their piles of cushions and blankets on the floor. So, I don’t get why Rare is still acting all freaked out. It’s not like she didn’t know they were coming. Maybe she just thought they would come after she had a chance to organize all the ribbons in her workroom and magic away every speck of dust the Boutique has ever seen.

When she comes into the room, Rarity keeps mumbling about how everything is a mess, and how sorry she is that she didn’t think to have an alicorn sized couch, and how she meant to get some of that fancy tea Celestia told her about years ago. She sets down a tray of coffee and tea for everypony, then looks around like she doesn’t know where to go. I scoot over and make a place for her on my fainting couch, and she looks relieved.

When she settles in next to me, I nuzzle her and whisper, “Chill out, Marshmallow. It’s just Luna and Celestia.”

Rare pulls back to glare at me. It’s the same look she gave me in the Crystal Empire when I said the Crystal Palace just looked like another old castle to me. I can remember the exact way she said, “Have you lost your mind?” She’d say it again now if there weren’t two princesses here to hear her. Instead, she rolls her eyes, takes a controlled breath, and leans against me again shaking her head at me just a little.

Then nothing happens. Everypony just sips their tea and nibbles on their pastries without making eye contact. Nopony even tries to make small talk, which makes things get real weird real fast.

“So,” I say, because I hate awkward silences even more than I hate talking about feelings. “I got raped.”

Twilight sprays tea so far from her mouth that it almost gets on Celestia. For her part, Celestia doesn’t seem to notice that Twilight just turned into some kind of tea sprinkler. The Princess’s eyes just get all big for a second, but I’m pretty sure she has to use every bit of self-control that she’s spent hundreds of years developing to not have tea come out her nose. Fluttershy and Rarity look like their jaws are going to fall off their faces. Pinkie and Luna smile at me in a sad way, but somehow they both seem to have a smile behind the sadness too.

So, basically, the line worked exactly how I planned.

“Dashie-” Fluttershy says in that annoyingly quiet, pleading way of hers. It half sounds like she’s apologizing for what happened to me, and half sounds like she’s my mother and I’m trouble for being rude at the dinner table.

“What?” I cut her off before she gets a chance to tell me not to talk like that. I wave around that full room. “It’s why everypony is here. It sucks. It’s not like I want to talk about it. But, unless Celestia and Luna are here to tell me that there’s some magical something or other they can to do to make it so I don’t have to talk about it ever again, then I’d rather just get this shit over with and not waste everypony’s time.”

Something about my little speech snaps Rarity out of the funk she’s been in since the Princesses showed up. I feel her sit up taller next to me. When I turn to look at her, her eyes are bright and clear; and she gives me an encouragingly decisive nod.

So, I look at the Princesses. “So, are you guys here to fix everything or what?” I try not to sound demanding, and it works for the most part. The question manages to come out the way I meant it: like a real question.

Twilight snorts her tea again, then glares at me. Celestia’s ears twitch back and she breaks eye contact with me, only to meet Luna’s angry glare.

“Will you be explaining things, or shall I?” Luna says, and she doesn’t make any effort to seem less than demanding.

Celestia takes a deep breath, but I cut her off before she can say anything. “I’ll take that as an ‘or what.’ Next question, is Marshmallow really getting charged with assault?”

Celestia has tea come out her nose, and Luna laughs so loud the house shakes, and Rare’s entire body gets warm next to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have used her nickname. I’m totally not sorry though. The ice is broken, and that was kinda the point.

Celestia coughs a little and wipes her nose with a napkin. Luna’s trying not to laugh, or at least to laugh at a safer volume. She chuckles to Rarity, “We apologize. We mean no offense. ‘Tis a fond memory indeed that brings such a response.”

Rares looks at Celestia. “Shall I assume that our darling Rainbow is not the first to use such a clever nickname?”

Luna catches my eye. “My dear sister was so displeased with it that she pronounced its use a crime against the realm punishable by banishment.”

“And now we know why you got put in time out on the moon for a thousand years!” Pinkie giggles.

Luna gives Pinkie a weird little smile. “Had it been thus, I daresay she would not have let me return so soon.”

Celestia rolls her eyes. “That was a long time ago, dear sister. Perhaps our friends would also like to hear about what measures you have taken to prevent the use of nicknames you weren’t fond of.”

“Hanging a pony by the tongue for such offenses was the standard practice of the time. We have no shame for our actions,” Luna says looking away with her nose in the air.

It’s funny. At least for me, Pinkie, Rarity, Celestia, and Luna it’s funny. Twilight looks like she can’t process the idea that somepony would call Celestia a Marshmallow. I think Shy’s still getting over Luna’s laugh, the image of a pony hanging by their tongue, and the fact that I’m not beating around the bush with things at all today.

“Another time then,” Celestia says when she’s done teasing her little sister. “To answer your question, Rainbow Dash, yes. Rarity is being charged with assault. Unfortunately, the law is rather clear about this. Under normal circumstances, it would be a formality. She would appear once before a magistrate and plead no contest. She would then be found not guilty by reason of mitigating circumstances.”

“Why isn’t that what’s going to happen now?” Fluttershy asks. I’m surprised she doesn’t know. I thought Twilight would have explained it to her.

Luna is the one that explains it now. “Owing to the force with which Lady Rarity acted. As my sister mentioned earlier, 'tis no small feat for a mare of Lady Rarity’s dimensions and training to have any truly meaningful magic impact on such a large stallion.”

“Which is why the investigation is trying so hard to prove that she had some sort of magical accomplice,” Twilight chimes in.

“Who exactly is that accomplice supposed to have been?” Rarity asks. Nopony answers. Twilight looks at the ground. Luna and Celestia look at Twilight with pity in their eyes. It only takes a second to figure it out. “No,” Rares whispers. “They can’t possibly suspect… you, Twilight?”

Twi blinks a few tears out of her eyes, and Shy puts a wing across her back. Celestia takes a deep breath, she looks sad and angry when she talks, like she'd really like to kick somepony’s flank over what she has to say. “Twilight and the rest of you have been the target of some negative attention over the years. I have done everything in my power to protect you from it, but the present situation has given your critics an opening. They are striving to make the most of it.”

“But you weren’t even here,” I say. Twilight may have been a ridiculously shitty friend the past couple days, but she doesn't deserve this. If anypony wants to go after her, they're going to have to go through my busted behind first. “You didn’t get back from Canterlot til the next morning, right?”

Twilight nods at me. I look at Rarity. Meaningful looks are not our thing, but even I get this one. We both get up and hug Twilight.

Twi is one of the goodest goodie-four-shoes I know. Sure, she’s broken into a library; and she’s blown up a few things; and she did do that other thing that ONE time; but still. She freaked out about sending a letter late. She won’t cross the street in the middle if there’s a crosswalk because it’s against the rules. So, being suspected of this is messing her up bad. The same rules and bullshit that mean Rarity has to be charged, mean that some piece of shit ponies get to have Twilight investigated.

“I fucking hate this,” I whisper as I reach over to pull Fluttershy into the group hug. Then Pinkie does that thing where she makes her legs way too long to be real, and hugs all of us at once.

“Sorry, Twi,” I say leaning into the hug. “I didn’t think they’d be coming after you too.” Twilight doesn’t answer. She’s just leaning into Rarity’s shoulder bawling her eyes out.

“She told them she wasn’t here, but they don’t believe her,” Shy explains. “They think she came back, and then left again.”

“Fucktards.” Things are really bad when I swear like that and nopony says anything to me about it. When the hug breaks up Fluttershy and Twilight make space for me and Rares on the couch. Pinkie grabs a donut and parks on the floor in front of us.

I look at the Princesses again. “How do we fix this?” The look they give me doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.

“Why can’t Rarity just show them what she can do, so they know that she didn’t need Twilight’s help?” Pinkie almost whines from her spot on the floor.

I think Pinkie is a genius, but all three horned ponies fold their ears back. I don’t get it. “Why won’t that work?” I ask looking at each of the princesses, then Twilight, then Rarity.

Rare takes a deep breath and says, “I had quite a bit of adrenaline running through my system that night, darling. I’m not sure I could put on a display that would convince them of anything.”

“T’would need to be truly impressive,” Luna confirms.

“A magical assessment of that nature would be a risk,” Celestia explains. “Unless Rarity could demonstrate such significant power and skill that the committee is convinced beyond all question that she could have obliterated Macintosh without effort.”

“Duh.” Everypony looks at me like I just sprouted a third wing, except Pinkie. Me and Pinks. We got this. “That’s exactly what happened. Rares said so.”

“Darling, I-”

“Shut up and listen. When our cutie marks got all fucked up, do you have any idea what you did to the sky?” I’ve been piecing this together in my brain for a while, and I’m sure that I’m right.

Rarity folds her ears back again in shame. “Of course, I do. I told Aloe and Lotus to direct all costs from recovering for both sunburns and frostbite directly to me for months afterward.”

“Yeah, but do you know what you did?” I ask. Nopony gets it, but I think Luna is about to. “Do you know how many pegasi it would have taken to make the sky look like a friggin’ patchwork quilt? And then how many more it would have taken to keep it that way? And then how many more it would have taken to make it rain? And then how many more it would have taken to make it snow? You didn’t even switch out the clouds. You just made it snow.

“Plus, I checked with the other weather teams to make sure you didn’t mess up other towns’ systems. You didn’t. They didn’t even know what happened. They just said they saw some weird shit in the sky, but it’s Ponyville so they figured some monster did it or Discord was throwing somepony a party.”

Luna definitely gets it now. Twilight and Celestia have both gone to the thinking place. Pinkie looks like she wants a cookie. Fluttershy looks like she’s got something to say. “W- would that runway show you put on for Hoity Toity be a good example? I mean...it seemed impressive.”

Everypony is looking at Rarity, but she’s looking at me. “I’m no Twilight.” How many times has she said that? “Passable. A little more than average.”

“Rarity,” Twilight asks. She’s got her researcher voice on now. “How did you know how to help the sea serpent with his mustache?”

“On our first little outing in the Everfree Forest?” Rarity answers. Twilight nods. Luna looks nervous. Even though everything is cool now, she really doesn’t like talking about that night.

“Well, what else was there to be done?” Rare says looking around as if it were obvious. “He was right to be upset. He looked awful.”

“I think what Twilight means is,” Celestia says gently. “Magically, what spells did you employ to help him? When did you learn them? Who taught them to you? And how did you know it would work?”

Rarity takes a big breath and looks at me. She looks nervous like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Magic isn’t her thing. She gives Twilight an apologetic look, like a school-filly that just got called out for not studying for a test.

I nuzzle her to get her attention. “Just tell it like you’d tell me if I asked,” I say. “It never made sense to me anyway.”

“Well, he did look terrible, and he was so distraught. One can’t simply recreate something like his mustache. I had no idea of its texture or hair count. That orange color would have been so difficult to match exactly, and we certainly didn’t have the time to go into all of that. So, I thought a tail would be the next best thing, and I would never ask any of you to make such a sacrifice. I also thought I might be able to ask Aloe and Lotus for some extensions or something in the meantime while my own tail grew back. It did look rather dashing on him, I must say.”

Celestia is about to say something, but I get there first. “Yeah, but how did you do it?”

“Oh,” Rare waves a hoof in a throwaway gesture. “I’m not so technical as all that. I’m sure Twilight would tell you something about connecting each strand to the appropriate follicle so that it would grow properly, and so on. I simply told my tail to become the serpent's mustache, and it did.”

“What?” Twilight looks like she’s about to blow a gasket. Her eye is starting to twitch in that way we all know can’t be good. “What do you mean you told your tail? How did you tell it? You integrated pony cells into a completely different species! What method did you use for that?

“Did you know that you could have made him sick? You could have hurt him. Your tail could have supercharged and exploded! But you just tol-”

Rare cuts Twilight off mid-rant. “It was a basic repair spell, Twilight Nothing more. I just mended the cut strands. It’s nothing I haven’t done a thousand times here at the shop.”

“It was far more than that, Rarity,” Celestia says and we all look at her. “Twilight is right, if done improperly, that bit of magic could have caused serious damage to your target.”

“Oh posh, Celestia,” Luna says. “T’would only be dangerous had Lady Rarity been confined to definitions of species and equations. We know, dear sister, that both you and Twilight are quite beholden to such limits but I have always said that they are not necessary. ‘Tis perfectly safe for an artist to wield their craft as Lady Rarity describes.”

“What are they talking about?” I whisper in Rarity’s ear.

“In essentials, they are talking about the philosophy and method of one’s magic,” Rare explains. “A unicorn may influence the world around them through a variety of methods. Twilight, for example, tends to be very precise, as with the Ursa Minor. She drew on specific spells and charms to create each layer of magic she employed, and then executed each measure within a given set of parameters meant to keep herself and everypony safe.”

“Right. So, what’s the difference?”

“That day I had your cutie mark, I had a bit of a… conversation with the sky. I simply suggested that I thought we ought to try a checkerboard pattern and see how it looked.”

Gagging. Twilight is gagging. Celestia’s eyes are bugging out of her head, and Luna is looking like she just found the next solo flyer for the Wonderbolts hiding in some little flight school outside Appleloosa.

Part of me wants to laugh, and part of me is pretty much on the same page as Twilight. “You did the work of about a hundred pegasi ponies just to try and see if it looked good?” I ask incredulously.

“Well, I was compelled by that cutie mark of yours to do something with the sky, wasn’t I?”

Rares just doesn’t get where I’m going with all of this. She’s so busy believing that the only way to be awesome at magic is to be Twilight that she can’t even see how what she did was a big deal. I don’t even do magic, and I know that she just doesn’t get it.

“I’m sure any other pony here could have done the same,” she says with a genuine innocence that I don’t hear from her very often.

“That is a false assumption, Rarity,” Luna says warmly with just a hint of a smug smirk. “Perhaps I could have. However, although my dear sister and Twilight Sparkle each have sufficient power to achieve such a feat, neither of them would have the control of free-form magic to make it so without extensive preparation. In short, neither of them would be comfortable simply ‘speaking with the sky’ as you so aptly describe.”

“Oh, Luna, you are too kind, but-”

“She’s right, Rarity,” Twilight interrupts. Her eye is still twitching, and she can’t seem to focus on anything so she just stares at the floor. “I always assumed that the spell I cast somehow affected you differently, because you were a unicorn, but that’s never made much sense.

“There was no aspect of the spell that could reasonably be expected to produce that kind of side effect. But, when I tried to gauge how much magical output you must have generated to do what you did, the number was so high that after several attempts I just assumed a bad premise and abandoned the experiment.”

“You can’t be serious.” Rarity glances around at Twilight, then the Princesses, then me. “Perhaps, Rainbow’s cutie mark transferred something; gave me some connection to the sky I wouldn’t normally have had.”

“It’s a workable theory, but even Rainbow Dash would have needed substantial help to do what you did,” Celestia says.

“Yeah. Like a hundred Rainbow Dashes and the entire Cloudsdale weather factory,” I say.

Luna giggles. “Perhaps, I shall give thee reign of the night sky for an evening and see what you make of it,” she says.

“Oh, I could never let you do that, darling,” Rare instantly replies. “Of course, I do have some ideas, but your night sky is so lovely. I couldn’t possibly-”

“Seriously?” Twilight gets off the couch and yells at Rarity. “Seriously? Princess Luna offers to let you take the night sky out for a test drive, and you say you can’t because it would be rude? Not because it’s the fucking night sky and only an alicorn can hope to have any control over it? Seriously!?” She’s huffing and snorting like she’s about to charge at us.

“Um- Twilight,” Fluttershy stands up too and puts her wing over Twi’s back. “Maybe we should take a little break.” She starts leading Twilight to the kitchen.

Celestia gets up to follow them. Twilight looks at her. “It’s the sky, Celestia! It’s the motherfucking sky!”

When they’re gone me, Pinkie, and Luna laugh. We laugh hard. We laugh until we’re crying. It’s a good thing Rarity bound me up like this or my ribs would be killing me.

Rarity says something about how it’s not nice to laugh at Twilight when she’s all stressed out, and that just makes us laugh harder. I can’t help myself. I kiss her cheek in between laughs. She blushes and smiles at me, but it’s the ‘that’s enough, Rainbow’smile. So, I make myself take the deepest breaths I can and calm down.

When we’re all sitting quietly, Rarity finally says- with a little evil look in her eyes- “I didn’t mean to imply that it wouldn’t take a little bit of effort.”

And we’re laughing again.

“Let it be done!” Luna says seriously, pounding her hoof on the floor like a gavel. “When thy name is clear and thy wounds are healed, then shall I give thee the sky for a time. It shall drive both my sister and Twilight Sparkle to the brink of madness. What a revel it shall be!”

“Ooo. Can I throw a party?” Pinkie asks. “It could be a Rarity Rocks the Night theme.”

“Make it so, Pinkie Pie,” Luna declares. “Perhaps we shall proclaim it a holiday.”

“Now, now, Princess,” Rare chides. “Let’s not do anything in poor taste.”

Luna laughs again. Then she and Pinkie start planning the party.

“Can you honestly make the sky do stuff?” I ask Rarity quietly.

Rares thinks for a second before she answers, “If given proper access to it of course, then... yes. I believe so. The night sky, in particular, has wards and protections that I couldn’t hope get through unassisted because the stars and their alignment have such a strong influence across Equestria. However, if given direct access, then yes. I am confident I could arrange things quite nicely- although temporarily.”

“You speak of my sky with great reverence, Rarity,” Luna says sounding pleased.

“Of course. Why shouldn’t I? It is the night sky after all.”

Twilight must have heard something we were saying, because she yells from the kitchen, “That's right! It’s the motherfucking sky!”

Pinkie had to go watch the twins. The horned ponies are still in the sitting area strategizing. I got tired and started falling asleep, so Fluttershy and I came upstairs. She asked if I needed anything, but I didn’t, so she’s just laying here with me.

I was falling asleep downstairs. Celestia was saying something about ambient knowledge informing the conscious mind, and I drifted off. Now that I’m here though, I can’t fall asleep. I kinda want to ask Fluttershy to move off the bed, but that would make her sad.

“I’m so sorry, Dashie.” The words squeak out of her like she was trying to be brave and hold them back, but she couldn’t. It’s pretty obvious that she isn’t apologizing for whatever she said to Rarity yesterday, so I can only think of one thing that could be getting her so upset that she’s shaking.

“It isn’t your fault, Shy.”

“Of course it’s my fault,” she whimpers.

“How do you figure?”

“Mac asked me out last month.” She wipes away a few tears before going on. “I told him no. When he asked why, I told him that I was interested in somepony else. He asked what some other stallion had that he didn’t. I didn’t answer, but I think he figured out that I wasn’t talking about a stallion.”

“So?”

“If I-”

“If you what, Shy?” I snap. “If you lied to him? If you made yourself do something you didn’t want to do? If you didn’t like who you like? Does that make it Twilight’s fault?” I hear Rarity in my head. She asked me the same questions, and I freaked out at her about it. Shy doesn’t freak out at me.

“I just- I just hate it,” she says. Then in one of the quietest whispers I’ve ever heard. “I hate that I’m grateful it was you and not me.”

There she is. There’s my Fluttershy. She feels guilty. She sees my bruises and busted wings and wishes I didn’t have them, but she also feels relief. Rarity wishes she could have taken my place, Fluttershy wishes it had never happened. That difference matters. That difference is why Rares can be my wingmare through all of this and Fluttershy can’t. It’s why Shy went after Rare yesterday. Shy feels guilty, but she wants to do something to help me so she doesn’t have to feel bad about being glad it wasn’t her.

I sit up and pull Shy into a hug. It takes a long time for her to stop crying and telling me how sorry she is. I’m way past ready to have some space, but I don’t let go. She needs me, and I can get some space when she’s done. I force myself to breathe. I close my eyes and think about how it feels to have my forehead touching Rarity’s, and I try to breathe to that rhythm. It’s just a little slower than my own. It’s just enough to make me focus.

When Flutters finally stops crying, I give her one more little squeeze and say, “It’s cool, Shy. We’re ok.”

She squeezes back and says, “Ok.”

I’m kinda surprised she held onto me that long. Shy usually doesn’t like being touched. Hugging isn’t really a pegasus thing. Pegasi are all about space and freedom and moving. Hugging takes all of that away, so even family members don’t do it that often.

We move apart and we both breathe easier. Then we just sit quietly for a while. “Do you need anything?” she asks me. I ask for something to drink. I could get it myself, but it’s good for her to have something to do. I know that.

Of course, she brings me tea. What is with ponies and tea? I mean, it’s ok once in awhile, but I’d rather have water or juice. Shy knows that, but tea makes her feel better. That’s why she brought it. I don’t know why but that makes me think about cider and the number of times I’ve seen Rarity down a bottle of cider in the past few days. She drinks cider when she’s stressed. She drinks wine when she’s trying to chill. She drinks tea when ponies are watching. Apparently, she drinks tequila when she wants to dance.

Fluttershy is giving me the eyebrow. I guess I laughed. I shake my head at her though, refusing to answer the question she didn’t ask.

“So, how’s Twilight?” I say instead.

“Oh, she’s a wreck. She hasn’t been sleeping well or eating much. She-”

“Yeah,” I say-giving her the eyebrow this time. “But how is Twilight?”

“Dashie!”

“What? You’re the one that brought up how she hasn’t been sleeping much.”

“How’s Rarity?” She fires back at me. This is the Fluttershy nopony gets to see except me. She’s more like my big sister than my friend. She’s sarcastic and strong. These are the moments I remember when she gets scared by her own shadow.

“Rares is awesome. Why?”

“Dashie?”

“It’s not like that, Shy. She’s just helping me out.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So, you aren’t sleeping in her bed, the two of you don’t kiss or nuzzle each other when one of you leaves the room, you aren’t snuggling into her every chance you get, and you definitely aren’t giving her adorable little nicknames?”

“Nope.”

“Dashie.”

“It’s not like that, Shy. You know that.”

“Do I? Do you? Does she?”

“It’s Rarity. You really think she isn’t just helping me?”

“She let you call her Marshmallow in front of the Princesses and didn’t say anything about it. She’s covered in bruises that it doesn’t look like she was even trying to hide. She’s brushing your mane for you, and preening your wings, and being rude to other ponies for you. What does that sound like to you?”

“The Marshmallow thing was funny She was going to do the magical cover up thing when we were done eating, but you guys got here. The rest of it just sounds like Rarity being Rarity to me.”

“Her cat likes you.”

“Fluffball isn’t that bad. Which reminds me, will you bring Tank over? I miss him.”

“Don’t try and change the subject, Rainbow Dash.”

“Nothing’s going on Fluttershy.” She looks at me. She isn’t convinced. I knew we were going to talk about it, but now I’m done. “It’s not there, Shy. She’s just helping me out. I know that. You shouldn’t have said that shit to Rarity yesterday.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?” I was trying not to raise my voice, but I did and it cracked. “I’m fucked up, Shy. I got raped less than a week ago, and I’m just trying not to freak out at anypony. Rares makes me feel better. That’s it.”

Fluttershy takes a deep breath and calms herself a little. “She’s my best friend, you know?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, be careful with her,” Shy snaps. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and I know Rarity is helping you. Just… be careful. Don’t hurt her or yourself worse just because you’re trying to feel better.”

I hear what she’s saying. She’s wrong though. I’m not going to hurt Rarity. I can’t. Rares doesn’t feel like that about me. How could she? She’s being Rarity, which is more awesome than I knew before. She wants a prince, not a busted up former Wonderbolt that couldn’t keep herself safe. She’s got the fucking Princesses of Equestria freaking out about how cool she is, and she’s acting like she’s no big deal. Before I was a Wonderbolt, Spitfire couldn’t say hi to me without me freaking out about how awesome she was. Can anypony say mismatch?

“You never answered my question,” I say after a few minutes of silence.

“Of course I’ll brink Tank over. He’ll be so happy to see you.”

“Not that one. How’s Twilight?” That blush and sideways glance is all I need to know. I throw up a hoof. “Go Fluttershy!” She bumps it and smiles.