“I only wish it were that easy.”

The last page of Guards! Guards! had been read, with two dragons soaring out of the Discworld and out into deep space.

“I mean, all we need is a magic library full of the most powerful spells known to pony,” Starlight Glimmer groused. “Then we could just drop Fireball into it, tie a rope to his tail, tie the other end to the ship, and fly wherever we wanted.”

“I think love had some to do with it, too,” Cherry Berry said.

Fireball snorted, as eloquently as only a dragon can. Foolish pony notions deserved more snort than a mere pony snout could provide. And poor, deprived Mark, with that tiny nose of his- if he snorted you’d never hear it.

Unfortunately you couldn’t say the same thing about his wisecracks. “It speaks,” Mark said in response to the snort. “Come on, Fireball. I’ve been waiting the whole book for this. What did you think about the dragons in this book?”

“Yeah,” Dragonfly chipped in. “I thought you’d be all like Starlight, ‘it doesn’t work like that!’ and stuff.”

“I’m not Starlight,” Fireball said. “This magic, in the books, not our magic. These dragons not our dragons. No big deal.” He tapped the reading computer. “Swamp dragons, kind of sad. But big dragon? Almost like us. Almost like me.”

“How’s that?” Mark asked.

Fireball didn’t exactly know how to say it, even in Equestrian. “Need to think,” he muttered, and he went silent for half a minute while he did just that. “First is magic,” he said, once he had a clear idea. “Not the summon thing. That stupid- no, wait, not stupid, that’s wrong word. Summon thing is… interesting. Idea that, if you magic up a dragon, what you get reflects who you are? I like the idea. But it not fit me and mine.

“But rest of it? Our dragon lord’s father is big as mountain. Flies just fine. I have little wings. I fly just fine, not as fast as many, but good enough. Dragon in book hovers, floats like cloud, flies just like me. Thinks some like me, too. I know lots of dragons just as bad as this one, except not so quick to kill.”

Yeah, he’d thought that line would make the silence even deeper. But there were more thoughts to come. Thinking was like a pony train; get started, and it took a lot to stop it again.

“Harry Potter books, dragons just monsters. Not even real animals. All mean, violent, stupid. Ring books, only Smaug. He gloats like Boss Hogg. Not quite a person. Too… too… flat. But better than Potter dragons.

“But swamp dragons feel like real animals. Some angry, some old, some playful. And Errol really smart. I like Errol. And big dragon feel almost like people.” Again he tapped the computer. “Spitfire was right. This book is home. I want to read more.”

“Eh, I don’t know,” Starlight said. “I thought it was okay, I guess, but I thought Lord of the Rings had deeper themes. Though the Patrician’s talk about the necessity of evil… well, it was completely wrong, but it makes you wonder about the kind of mind that could really believe all that.”

“I do know,” Spitfire said. “And this good book. Guard… Vimes and them… like if griffons have a guard. Felt right. Felt like writer knew.”

“It did feel like being around Ponyville ponies,” Cherry said. “If half of them were violent crazies. I liked Potter better. There if someone died, it was a big deal. Discworld…”

“I never thought I’d read a book where anyone meets the Pale Horse face to face,” Dragonfly said. “But I like Death. If it really worked like that… it wouldn’t be so bad.” The changeling’s face, which still looked a little drawn despite months of feeding up, lacked its usual grin. “I don’t suppose Death ever gets his own book?”

“Several,” Mark replied. “I’ll have to check and see which ones NASA sent. They held back on Pyramids and Small Gods, and those two are among the best in the series.”

“Don’t care about Death,” Spitfire said. “I want more Guard. Unless there’s an army story.”

“Have to get through a couple more Guard stories before the two Discworld books about war,” Mark said.

“Okay. Then let’s do the next Guard book!” Dragonfly said.

“More murder?” Cherry Berry asked, sensing herself about to become a minority of one.

“Even better. The next book focuses on the Assassins’ Guild,” Mark said. “Assassins are people who are specially trained to kill other people- one on one, not in an army or anything like that.”

“Awww.”

“Sounds good,” Fireball said.

“Eh, all right,” Starlight said. “I’ve been reading more of those books by Rex Stout. I like them better than Agatha Christie’s books, except maybe Orient Express. But more Discworld sounds good.”

“All right,” Mark said. “We’ll begin that tomorrow. Let’s go back to the Hab and get lunch.”

Author's Notes:

Saturday night, thanks to the van thing, I got slightly less than five hours sleep, followed up by driving, customers, packing, and more driving from 7 AM until 10:30 PM. After I signed off last night, I was hoping to sleep myself out.

So, naturally, at 8:01 AM, the dealership called and woke me up to tell me the tow truck was coming to get the van and take it to their body shop.

The tow truck finally arrived at quarter after 4 PM.

I got some other things done, including the really time-critical post-con stuff, but I've spent most of the day in a mental fog. This ought to have been twice as long as it is, but it was a struggle to focus on ANYTHING, never mind coherent dialog.

Having re-read Guards! Guards!, I have to admit that it's much lighter on themes than either the Potter books or Lord of the Rings. It's an early Pratchett work, and in all honesty the next book the ponies will tackle, Men at Arms, is closer to the point where Pratchett really began hitting his stride with social satire. As a consequence, the only thing the castaways would really have to react to, in the whole of Guards!, is dragons.

Time, of course, is passing, but I'm going to skip some more sols since I have this coming weekend off the circuit (conveniently, since there's no way my van would be fixed in three days).

And one more thing: I know I opened the door by having a chapter about election day and government structures, which is why I didn't delete any political comments to that chapter. But could they stop now, please?