“I liked Sig’s gun,” Surprise commented as she watched the man leave ahead of them. She reached for her own gun, only to flinch as Honey slapped her hand away for what was probably the twentieth time since they left the Hip Hog. “Is it as splody as it is pretty?”

“I don’t know about splody,” Thomas replied. “But it does have some real oomph.”

Surprise cackled with a menace that left everyone uneasy.

“So, do orbs do anything in this game?” Moonlight asked, changing topics.

“They’re much rarer than before, so Honey and I traded a few of ours for credits,” Luna explained. “That would be the standard currency in the city.”

“In the game, you could go to the game menu and buy cheats,” Thomas answered. “At first, it’s just small things like giving Jak a big head or taking away his goatee.” He checked his chin to find it still smooth. “Enough orbs let you buy infinite ammo and invulnerability.”

“Boo,” Surprise jeered. “None of that!”

“Agreed,” Silver added. “There’s no fun if there’s no challenge.”

“Then how about small things, like weapon upgrades or armor?” Thomas suggested.

“Ah like that idea. But maybe we can also keep some ‘f the big-head silly stuff, too?”

“Yes! That!” confirmed Surprise.

The rest of the trip to the pumping station was completed in short order. They met up with Sig, and he led the way for the mission. Like most escort missions, the priority for the players was to fend off foes and keep Sig from taking too much damage. Thankfully, between the six of them and their five guns, they held a line that no enemies could easily cross, at least at first.

Sig led them down a different route through the pumping station from last time. This led them straight into the path of a new kind of metal head: bipedal saurians that stood more than ten feet tall at their full height and carried staffs that shot red lightning. Sig called them juice goons. These seemed smarter than previous metal heads, identifying the range of the scatter guns and trying to keep their distance while flanking. However, they were simply too slow, allowing the players to move in close before the beasts could react.

Sig’s targets were crab-like creatures called crab heads that were even bigger than Luna’s alicorn form. He sniped them from a distance with his weapon, known as the Peacemaker. The first went down easily enough, its body convulsing from the charged dark eco blasts that electrocuted it from the inside out. The others, however, weren’t so simple.

Metal heads started grouping up and moving in formation after that. Juice goons led the charge while manic heads and amphibians attempted to flank the party. The players were kept on their toes as wave after wave of enemy came their way, with the crab heads seeming to serve as willing bait for traps. It was fortunate that the Krimzon guard had left so many ammo crates around the area. Likely, they’d been in enough scrapes where reloading wasn’t so easy, and so left extra ammo outside in anticipation of future patrols.

One matter of curiosity was when Silver attempted to pick up some damaged ammo left by one of the juice goons. The cartridge cracked, and the concentrated red eco flowed into her body. There was no noticeable boost to strength as with previous attempts at channeling eco. Rather, like dark eco with Thomas, these minuscule portions of red eco were absorbed directly into Silver’s body.

“That’s new,” Thomas observed between shots. “Feel any different?”

“I… don’t think so,” Silver replied uncertainly. “What could this mean?”

“If you cherries are done flapping your yaps, I’ve got metal heads up my ass!” snapped Sig.

The players put their discussion on hold until the mission was completed. The last crab head was slain.

“BOOM! Home team five. Metal heads nothing!” Sig cheered. He even indulged Surprise in a high five. Afterward, he instructed the players to return to Krew while he stayed to retrieve the trophies.

***

“I absorbed it,” Silver stated, turning her hands around in front of her face. “And it doesn’t appear to be dissipating.”

“It must have been the injections!” concluded Moonlight. “Don’t you remember? You said that the serum you received was red.”

“And yours was blue,” Silver remembered.

“I got yellow!” Surprise cheered, possibly following the conversation.

“Then it sounds like the eco-warrior plan had some offshoots,” Thomas reasoned, laughing at the women’s reactions. “So it looks like we’re all going to be transforming before this is over.”

“Aw shoot,” swore Honey. “Now Ah’m all pissed off Ah wasn’t imprisoned, too.”

“I, meanwhile, have made peace with this form,” Luna cut in. “Have patience, dear Honey,” she soothed. “I have every confidence that the forces of evil will kidnap you, debase you, and subject your body to all manner of horrid experiments until you are granted powers like the others.” She finished with a smile sweet enough to melt teeth.

Honey blinked. “Well, anythin’ can sound bad when ya put it like that.”

“Be sure to watch your butt if you do get caught,” Surprise instructed while rubbing her backside. “Those guards can get super grabby.”

“Back on point,” Thomas began, deciding it was his responsibility to keep these ladies focused. “I’m pretty sure we collected enough skull gems for the Oracle. Let’s pay him a visit and see what happens.”

The others agreed, and they made for the shrine.

Upon entering, the others stood back as Thomas approached. The Oracle shot a steady stream of dark energy into his form, lifting him into the air and changing him into Dark Thomas. “You do well to rid the world of this metal scourge. As a reward, I grant you a dark power.”

Thomas grinned, staring down at his claws. “Feels… like I’ve finally got full control,” he marveled. He felt the ways his body had physically changed, as well as the surge of energy, but the latter was less prominent than earlier. Although there was still a sense of foreboding deep in his gut.

“What’s this?” the Oracle asked. “I sense something from the others. Seeds planted and waiting to sprout. Bring me more skull gems, and I will help your flowers to bloom.”

“You realize that sounded pervy, right?” Thomas asked.

“I, er…” the Oracle stammered. “Just bring me the skull gems!” And it went silent, making the others laugh.

“Sounds like everyone wants to give us stuff,” observed surprise as she idly examined her fingernails. “Can’t say I blame them, though. We’re great!”

“That, or they’ve taken an interest in our ‘flowers’,” Silver added contemptuously.

“Which are also great!”

***

On the return trip to the Hip Hog, the players were met with even more recognition from the civilians. Every fifth person smiled and nodded their head in gratitude. The Krimzon guards, however, remained oblivious. Whatever those eye covers were supposed to do, it didn’t seem worth the trouble if their primary targets could walk right up to them without being noticed.

Krew hovered over to the players. “You little pups are turning out to be quite useful, ‘ey? Mmm. I have another task for you. The sewers used to be a fabulous smuggling-”

“Not the sewers!” cried Silver. “It’s going to be the swamp all over again. I just know it!”

Krew blinked, not expecting that reaction. “Well, the point is that I need someone to go down and destroy every sentry gun in the sewers. And I’ll give you a sweet weapon upgrade if you succeed.”

Surprise stepped forward. “I’m with Silver on this one. There’s no way I’m going anywhere near yucky poop water-”

“Unless you make it worth our while,” Thomas cut in. “Why are the metal heads trading with the Baron’s forces?”

“Blasted self-righteous…!” Krew stopped himself before he truly lost his temper. “All I know is that the Baron cut a desperate deal with the Metal Head Leader. Mmm.” He turned around and floated up a ways. “Metal heads need eco, so the Baron supplies them with regular shipments. In exchange, the metal heads agreed to lessen their attacks on the city, just enough so that the people stay afraid and the Baron stays in power.”

“Praxis is sounding more and more like my ideal kind of enemy,” Luna growled with a toothy grin. “I can crush him without feeling any remorse.”

“Even so, this deal can’t go on indefinitely,” Moonlight observed. “Between the savage beast and the metal heads, neither party seems that trustworthy.”

“True enough,” Krew agreed. “The Baron is running short on eco, ‘ey? And the metal heads are short on patience. Baron Praxis NEEDS this war to keep in power. Otherwise, the city would put the true rule on the throne, wherever that little brat is.”

That set off a red flag as the women all straightened to attention and shared knowing looks. Thomas chose to ignore them and finish the deal. “We’ll clear the sewers for you. No problem. Just make sure you don’t forget that weapons upgrade you promised.”

“Bloodsuckers,” Krew hissed and hovered off.

“I’d say he could use a few, but I wouldn’t want to be cruel to the leeches,” Silver muttered as the players departed. She was stroking Luna’s back for mutual comfort.

“So, somewhere in this city, there’s a ‘brat’ that’s important,” Moonlight thought aloud. “I wonder who it could be.”

“Probably not someone we’ve met,” Surprise offered.

“Definitely not,” agreed Honey. “An’ he definitely ain’t a tiny, cuter version ‘f anyone we know. That’s fer sure.”

“Wow,” Thomas deadpanned. “You guys are just so… subtle.”

“More subtle than the game is being,” Moonlight replied. “So, are we going to eventually put little you back on the throne?”

Luna shook her head. “Unlikely. The boy is far too young. Even if he is the heir to the throne, the powers that be will likely dismiss him as the Underground’s puppet, presuming the resistance proves victorious.”

“I read about that,” Silver spoke up. “Taking down the ruler and leaving a weak heir only leads to infighting amongst the other nobles. It’s not a problem ponies have had to deal with in centuries, but I can easily see it playing out here.”

“Then we should be gathering more allies to bolster the resistance,” Moonlight suggested.

“But what will follow after Praxis is overthrown?” Luna asked.

Honey set a hand on Thomas’ shoulder. “Can’t we jus’ put big Thomas on the throne?”

“And tell the people what? That he is a time traveler?” Luna shook her head. “No. I fear something so abnormal would only weaken our position. Tyrant or no, the Baron is strong enough to hold the metal heads at bay, at least for the moment. Gathering other allies is all well and good, but we should also work on strengthening our own position. Assuming this Shadow is indeed trustworthy, presenting ourselves as formidable allies might be enough to keep the other nobles in line. This boy will be our puppet, granting the Underground and ourselves legitimacy to rule, to protect the city, and destroy its enemies.”

Thomas blinked at Luna. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

Luna regarded him stoically. “Why? What makes you say that?”

“Either he’s done the responsible thing and learned his new country’s history,” Surprise offered. “Or he’s not blind. It’s a coin flip either way.”

“For now, we should probably just keep the fact that we’re smarter than everyone to ourselves,” Moonlight decided. “We’ll get more done if our enemies underestimate us.”

***

The sewers, much to everyone’s relief, were much cleaner than they’d feared. Metal corridors were large and relatively dry, with few areas that actually required them to get wet. The occasional dripping from the ceiling did offer a few unwanted and unappreciated surprises, though. While Krew no doubt intended to resume his smuggling operations as soon as possible, the primary purpose of the sentry guns seemed to be controlling the metal head population. Every other room was overrun with a new variety of metal head called a grunt, which resembled a cross between a gorilla and a big cat. They were fast, agile, durable, and the only thing that seemed to be hindering their movement through the sewers was the sentry guns. It was a shame to destroy such useful machines, but at least the metal heads were also cleared out.

Upon exiting the sewer, Moonlight took Thomas forcefully by the hand and led him along with the other women walking in tight formation around him. Their expressions were determined and resolute.

“Where’s the nearest bathhouse?” Moonlight demanded of the nearest civilian.

The woman asked wore a red coat and was vaguely pear-shaped. “I, um…” She gagged and pulled away once the sewer stench hit her. She quickly gave directions to the nearest facility, and Moonlight returned the favor with an orb.

Thomas laughed to himself as the women marched onward while he let himself be herded along. “Because, of course, there’s a bathhouse.”

“Dern right there is!” agreed Honey.

Barging into the lobby, the players were a frightful sight for the facility’s staff and patrons. All who could backed up against the walls to give these fierce newcomers their space. Silver handled negotiations, showing the counter clerk their stash of orbs and offering a ‘fair’ amount for the staff’s silence. Upon seeing that these borderline unhinged patrons were also armed, the clerk was all too happy to comply.

Thomas couldn’t keep himself from laughing as the stampeding women hurried him through the changing room, stripping themselves and him when he proved too slow for their liking. They continued on into the bathing area and charged straight for the main pool. They dove in, frightening the other patrons into scattering. When, at last, the women calmed down and relaxed in the pool, Thomas continued to laugh.

“It wasn’t that bad,” he insisted.

“All are entitled to their opinions,” Luna replied serenely as she floated along the pool’s surface. “Even if they are objectively wrong.”

Thomas rolled his eyes.

“It could have definitely been worse,” Surprise added. “I’d just realized that I hadn’t technically had a bath in two years, so I felt we were due.”

“Ah’m with the li’l guy, but Ah’m jus’ havin’ too much fun throwin’ mah weight around,” Honey said with a giggle.

“Ahh!” a woman screamed. “There’s a rat in the-” *CLONK* And she was taken out by a boot to the head.

“Thank you, Silver,” Luna said contently.

“My pleasure,” replied Silver in an equal state of relaxation.

Thomas laughed good-naturedly and waded through the pool. The water was high enough that he could comfortably swim, but not so high that it was too much trouble to walk. With the others enjoying the warm water and peace of mind, he decided to look around. Despite being situated in the industrial sector, the area was remarkably clean. It resembled one of those standard bathhouses shown in anime with a respectably high ceiling. Away from the central pool, the facility offered a variety of services, such as separate bathing pools, submerged chairs with water jets, and even spots to shower. However, in taking all this in, there was something else that Thomas found somewhat noteworthy.

“Hey, Moonlight.”

“Mmh, yes,” she replied tiredly from one of the water jet stations.

“Are we in the women’s bath?”

“Probably,” Moonlight replied, not caring in the slightest.

Taking a second look, Thomas confirmed that there were only women and older girls in sight. No young girls, thankfully. That would have been weird. All were keeping their distance from the players, too afraid to even approach enough to make for the door. Understanding their apprehension, Thomas reasoned that the most respectful thing he could do would be to keep his distance.

“Misha?”

“Honey!”

Or whatever.

The tall woman hefted herself up and waded over the pool. Another blonde stood and moved to meet her halfway. The two naked women embraced heartily, much to the interest of their audience.

“How ya been, girl?” Honey asked with a chipper smile.

“Doin’ great,” Misha replied with an equally thick country accent. She gave Honey’s toned midriff a playful smack. “Still jealous ‘f that body ‘f yers.”

“Misha?”

“Luna!” Misha cheered and scooped the ottsel into a hug, all under the wary eye of Silver. “Yer lookin’ spry as ever. An’ Ah see ya’ve finally found them friends ‘f yers.”

“Sure did,” Honey confirmed, motioning for the others to join them. “Come on, ya’ll. Misha, these here are our friends, Moonlight.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Surprise.”

“Hey there. Wow. You’re super pretty.”

“Silver.”

“A pleasure.”

“An’ Thomas.”

“Yo.”

Misha chuckled. “Ya’ll always make a habit ‘f hangin’ out in the women’s bath, dumplin’?”

Momentarily forgetting where he was, Thomas shrunk down in the pool and covered himself, much to the other women’s amusement. “Not by choice. They brought me here!”

“Uh-huh.” Misha rolled her and folded her arms under her chest, propping up her bosom. “Ah’m sure they dragged ya in here kickin’ ‘n’ screamin’.”

“He was actually laughing his ass off, but that’s basically the same,” Surprise corrected.

“Anyway, how have you been?” Luna asked. “We have seen what became of your old place.”

Misha sighed. “Yeah. Ya’ll did me a solid in puttin’ the hurt ta all them bugs, but by then, the damage had been done ta mah reputation. Got a surprisin’ly good deal sellin’ the place, though. Now Ah work as one o’ the clerks fer this here bathhouse, the Naked Ankle.”

“That name has implications,” Thomas stated plainly.

Misha laughed. “Really? You sure ya ain’t jus’ got a dirty mind?”

Thomas pursed his lips. “I never said the implications were dirty.”

Misha laughed. “Touché. Anyway, the pay is good, an’ Ah get discounts on all mah baths. Better ‘an usin’ public water, Ah tell ya what.”

Things calmed down after that. Seeing one of their own get along so cordially with these strangers, some of the other women grew bold enough to approach, or at least get their daughters out of there. Conversations were struck up as the players introduced themselves and their mission to save the city. Most of the women were sympathetic to the cause of the Underground, or at least open to the idea that there were alternatives to Praxis and his tyranny.

Thomas was grateful for the return to his new normal of casual nudity. By contrast, the other players were more enthusiastic to return to the game’s normal of them having free reign to fondle to their hearts’ content. None were more eager than Surprise, laughing maniacally as she reenacted most ecchi anime bath scenes by honking every boob she could get her hands on. The NPC women, naturally, took it in stride by either squirming uncomfortably or laughing at the apparent ticklish sensation, but never offering much protest. The others were almost worse in how much calmer they were about the ordeal. Moonlight, for instance, had pulled the woman she was conversing with into her lap, nibbling at her neck while her hand went to town below the surface.

“Hi there. My name’s Sheela,” greeted a redhead with brown eyes and a slim figure. “Do you think I could join the Underground? I want to do my part to save the city.”

Thomas smiled at the woman, glad for the distraction even as he covered his erection. “That’s nice of you to say, but why not join the guard? Maybe you can try to change the system from the inside?”

“And wear those awful uniforms?” Sheela shook her head fervently. “Out of the question. I’m willing to sacrifice my life, but not my dignity.”

Thomas frowned. “Didn’t make the cut, did you?”

“… how’d you know that?”

Thomas shrugged. “Lucky guess. Also you’re the only one here who’s skinnier than Silver, so that was kind of a factor.”

Sheela fumed. “My mom was in the Krimzon guard, back when that meant something. She died in the last attempted incursion into the metal head nest. I want to do her legacy proud, but…” She held up her spindly arms. “Those jerks just laughed at me. Said my arms would fall off if I even tried holding the standard-issue rifle.”

Then Thomas remembered. “You know, I met a guy who said the Underground needs more than just fighters. He wasn’t that tough looking either, but still does what he can to help out.”

“Who is he?”

“You’ll understand if I’m not totally ready to trust you just yet,” Thomas began. “I won’t give his name, but I will say he works at a bank. Mention a guy named Kor and see what happens.”

Overjoyed, Sheela threw her arms around Thomas and kissed his cheek with the force of a kitten before swimming off.

“That was most kind of you,” Silver said as she swam up.

“We’ll probably see her later,” theorized Thomas. “Her and some of these others. I’ll bet they’ll all make appearances in the final battle.”

“I can certainly see that, but why not just tell her who to look for?” Silver asked.

Thomas shrugged. “Just because we’re smarter, that doesn’t mean everyone else is stupid. We have to at least pretend that we’re wary of spies.”

“What?” Silver laughed. “Do you think one of these women is actually a Krimzon guard and will try to arrest us?”

“You!” accused a woman at the bath’s entrance. Apparently, the Krimzon guard tattooed more than just their soldiers’ faces, because her body was covered from head to toe.

“Shelly?” Honey asked in disbelief.

Recognizing the guard from the prison, the other players all stood up and assumed fighting stances. Sensing tension, the other women all cleared the main pool as the standoff began.

“Oh boy, you guys are in big trouble,” Shelly threatened.

“I would reconsider if I were you, Shelly,” Silver warned. “There are six of us and only one of you.”

“Five and a half if you count the talking ottsel,” Shelly countered. “And what the hell is a guy doing in the women’s bath, anyway?”

“Uh, enjoying the view?” Thomas offered, earning quiet giggles from the other patrons.

“Shut up! Oh, you’re in for it now,” Shelly said, remembering her modesty. With one hand covered over her breasts and her thighs pressed tightly together, she pulled out what looked like a walky-talky. “Once I put in a call to command, you’re all gonna-”

“Where’d that come from?” Surprise asked.

“… wat?”

“The phone in your hand. Where’d you get that?”

“Well… I-”

“Hey, that’s right,” agreed Moonlight. “You’re buck naked and don’t even have a towel. Where the hell did that phone come from?”

Shelly pursed her lips, blushed, and looked away, earning groans of disgust from all present, save for Thomas and Surprise, who giggled at the absurdity of it all. “Hey, don’t go underestimating me. Ever since your escape, I’ve prepared myself for every conceivable scenario, and it’s finally paid off!” She shook her phone in triumph.

“Was it worth it?” Honey asked sympathetically.

Shelly’s proud confidence lingered a moment longer before sinking down into the depths of reality. “No. No, it was not. But it’s about to be!” she rebounded. “Once I push this button, legions of guards will swarm this position. Once that happens, even you won’t be able to-”

*KONK*

The impact of the door sent Shelly flying across the tiled floor.

“To whoever is making all that racket,” the desk clerk addressed the bath patrons as a whole, “I’d ask that you kindly be respectful of your fellow bathers. If even the men from next door are complaining, then you’re clearly ruining everyone’s rest and relaxation.” With her piece said, the desk clerk shut the door behind her, leaving Shelly face down, ass up, and probably with a concussion.

The players and other bathers were left stunned silent for a good long while. What had happened was just too much for any of them to fully process.

Thomas was the first to break the silence with an astute observation. “That may have been the best boss fight we’ve ever had.”

“I take full credit!” Surprise declared. “I got her started on the walky-talky, which kept her in place long enough for the door to take her out. My victory!”

“Can’t argue with that,” Honey acquiesced. “So let’s get back ta relaxin’, shall we.”

The rest of the bathers voiced their approval, and they did as such.

As ever, these characters are just so much fun to play with. I’m elaborating on the missions as best I can, but I think it’s safe to say that the conversations are my stronger suit. The genre-savvy have already figured out the importance of the kid, while Luna demonstrates the political mindfulness that has allowed her and Celestia to rule for as long as they have. I was hesitant about throwing in a bath scene too early, but this was short and fun, so I think it fits.

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