The journey back through Spider Caves was accented by much congratulations and back patting, the players still riding the high of their victory.

“I still don’t understand how you knew to aim for the griffon’s eye,” Silver admitted, her face almost frozen in pure glee.

“It was a glowey thing,” Thomas explained proudly. “Always go for the glowey things in games.”

“Obviously,” Surprise cut in.

Thomas continued. “But that wouldn’t have mattered much without those pecs.” He gestured at Honey’s arms.

The green woman was in the middle of flexing for Moonlight’s adoration. “What? These things?” asked Honey, assuming a more elaborate pose. “Ain’t nothin’ but the product of a lifetime o’ good, honest workin’.”

Moonlight, though grinning, did not seem satisfied with this answer. “You have to share your secrets. There’s got to be some trick, some technique to sculpting a body this-”

“-hot?” Honey suggested, giving her bicep a kiss.

“-amazing!”

“The secret, my dear, is proper breeding,” Silver explained poshly. “The Apple Clan is the product of generations of careful breeding, focusing the innate magic of earth ponies into its purest form before passing it on to the next generation. After so many generations of care and dedication, specimens as exquisite as Honey were inevitable.”

“Yeah right,” Honey said, waving her hand dismissively. “Yer jus’ saying that ‘cause ya’ll were bred fer keen eyes, wit, ‘n’ buckable flanks.”

“I hope no one expects me to refute that,” Silver beamed, puffing out her chest in pride. “Although I’m still impressed by Surprise’s resourcefulness, both with the anvil and back at the vent. I’ve never heard of a third party amplifying a unicorn’s power like that.”

Moonlight blushed, remembering the way it felt to have Surprise take such control over her, guiding the destructive eco energy through her body, all while having her tail yanked in a way she wasn’t used to, at least not outside of the bedroom.

“Don’t know,” admitted Surprise with a shrug. “I guess I was inspired by that eco blaster thingy Kiera and Shant made and I thought ‘Hey. Maybe I can do the same with Moonlight.’ And I gave it a shot and BAM, it worked!”

“It most certainly did,” panted Moonlight with a dopey grin.

“Well I, for one, am proud of all of you,” declared Luna. “Especially you two.” She nodded at Silver and Honey. “Your drive to protect the ones you care for, mixed with a little bullheadedness, enabled you to confront your fears.”

“So, does this mean spiders won’t creep me out no more?” asked Honey hopefully.

“Oh, they most certainly will,” Luna flatly stated. “Spiders are naturally creepy and it is perfectly rational to fear them at that size. Only now, your fear won’t hamper you to the same extent as before.” She then added under her breath, “Although you may react with blind, violent anger the next time an arachnid crosses your path.”

“What?” Silver asked.

“What?” Luna quickly answered, looking just as bewildered as the small girl.

**********

The players returned to a cheering crowd as the entire population of the Crater gathered to acknowledge their victory. Trant and Mant rushed up to meet Honey, only to find their heads locked in either arm as the woman beamed in triumph at her catch. Other villagers ran up to laud the players for the specific quests they’d achieved, all resulting in making the Crater a much happier and safer place. Even Cole and a few other representatives from the Snow Tribe had showed up, minus much of their protective furs, to share their eternal gratitude. Yet despite all the crowding and chaos, the gathered masses still found the good sense to part as Kiera, Samos, and Shant made their way to the heroes of the hour.

“Not bad kids,” offered Samos through a narrowed glare. “Despite your ceaseless banter, easily distracted horse brains,” he said for reasons that even confused himself when Thomas chuckled quietly, “and immense perversion that not even the wise Precursors could have predicted,” he ranted, gritting his teeth, “you’ve somehow managed to keep saving the day. Either you’re countless character flaws don’t hamper you as much as I’ve been lead to believe-”

The old sage was met by the seething, murderous glares of his pupils.

“-or literally anyone else could have done the same if they could only be bothered to get off their fat asses!” he fumed, paying no mind to how the entire village was now giving him the stink eye.

“Anyway,” Kiera cut in, “you guys did great!” she cheered before giving each player a kiss on the lips.

“But that’s not all,” Shant added. “Tell ‘em the good news, sweetie.”

“Sweetie?” Honey parroted as she and the others gave Kiera knowing grins.

“Oh right. Remember that blaster me and Shant made? Well, while you’ve been gone, we’ve been doing a little… tinkering.”

“And you’d better clean it up,” groused Samos, earning chuckles from those in earshot.

“Anyway, we’ve fixed the design so it doesn’t have the same kick it used to.”

“The aiming’s more steady and the eco consumption is a lot more efficient,” Shant added.

“It’s still takes two to operate-”

“-but with the Crater’s forges all working at peak production-”

“We should be able to mass produce plenty more in a matter of hours!” Kiera finished excitedly, her and Shant bouncing in glee at their accomplishment.

“That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you guys,” cheered Surprise.

“That sounds wonderful as far as protecting the Crater,” agreed Moonlight. “But what does that mean for us as far as our assault on the Citadel?”

“That’s the beauty of it,” Shant answered. “Eco don’t go through the portals, but the blasters do. Once the gate’s opened, we just have to bring the weapons through, tap into whatever eco those gray rats have lying about, and we’ll be set for a full on siege!”

“The yellow sage has a tribe very near the Citadel,” Samos added. “If Gol and Maia started there, and if what I remember about that tribe is accurate, then it’s safe to assume the attack’s already begun.”

“So we just need to make contact with this yellow tribe and we’ll have another ally?” Moonlight asked, to which Samos nodded. “Excellent.”

“But what about you?” Luna asked. “If they are targeting sages, it stands to reason that you are next on their list.”

“Pfft. I’ve been scrapping with rambunctious little twerps since I was Luna’s size.” Samos gestured. “Those whipper snappers are free to try,” he challenged, thumping his chest for good measure and earning a roaring cheer of approval from the crowd.

“You should head back to Rock Village,” Silver cut in.

“What? Why?”

“They won’t expect it,” reasoned Silver. “Gol and Maia won’t expect you to retreat. It’ll catch them off balance while we make the final push. We could also use the help of Rock Village’s warriors and Shaggy, if he’s around. On top of all that, if they decide to try anything, you’ll have greater access to your powers in the presence of so much green.”

Samos blinked and stroked his beard in thought. “There is a green eco vent I could use to…”

“Great idea,” whispered Thomas.

“Thanks.”

“Fine,” Samos conceded. “I’ll make a tactical retreat for the moment. You lot just hurry through the Lava Tubes. We’ll join you as soon as you’re ready.”

**********

With the plan set and agreed upon, Thomas, Luna, and Moonlight made for the zoomer at the Lava Tube. The remaining women all volunteered to stay back and guard Samos.

“I feel good about this plan,” Moonlight said as she removed her blouse and stored it away; such was the heat.

“Don’t feel too good,” warned Thomas. “Things always go wrong the moment the heroes start getting cocky.”

“‘Tis more than a mere trope,” cautioned Luna. “In my many experiences in battle, I have found that fate is always, always listening, ever waiting for those fool enough to provoke her wrath.”

Moonlight swallowed whatever positive words she’d had and quietly mounted the zoomer behind Thomas. With Luna upon his shoulder, the man revved the engine and took off. The Lava Tube was essentially how he remembered it with paths of half-melted rock branching and bridging in numerous directions, presenting many options for the rider to choose from. Thomas selected the path with the most Precursor items and scout flies, not wanting to do a second run.

“We are definitely playing more games after this one,” he announced over the roar of the machine.

“I was thinking we could try a book next,” yelled Moonlight as she held on for dear life. “Maybe a nice, quiet romance to balance things out?”

“If we’re throwing out suggestions,” Surprise spoke over the communicator, “then I want to try Robbing Hood. Prince John and Hiss were so funny.”

“The cartoon?” Thomas asked as he revved up for an especially long jump, making Moonlight and Luna squeal.

“Ah’d be open ta some exotic locales,” Honey suggested. “Anyone up for Anugypt?”

“What about a compromise?” asked Silver. “A game set somewhere exotic with equal parts romance and adventure.”

“And a wisecracking raccoon sidekick!” insisted Surprise. “Oh. And his best friend should be a tree. That would be so adorable.”

“Luna. You’ve been awful quiet,” noted Honey. “Got any preferences?”

The little ottsel hummed thoughtfully as Thomas swerved this way and that to hit every orb and cooling balloon in his path. “I am rather enjoying the simplicity of this game. Evil is evil and good is good, free of the complexities that often make real life so aggravating,” she admitted. “If I were to choose, it would be something where I can do the most good while enduring the least amount of guilt. Such is the innate appeal of escapism, after all.”

“Okay,” Thomas began. He’d just caught the last scout fly and was coming up on a dark eco processing machine. “That last one kind of threw me for a loop, but I think I’ve got something that should make everyone happy. Romance, adventure, exotic locations, and plenty of chances to do good by most people.”

“And the talking raccoon?”

“We’ll see,” Thomas allowed.

“Yippee!”

And in no time at all, the Lava Tube came to an end. Luna was the first to dismount, hurrying over to the teleporter gate. Upon its activation, the first to exit was a rather short man on stilts and covered in mismatched bronze armor similar to that of the warriors of Rock Village.

“Samos?”

“You bet your buttons its me,” he declared, trying to strike a daring pose, only for his helmet to fall shut with a clang over his face. A series of swears were mumbled out as the old man stepped aside, making way for the next group.

First the players hopped through, then the sage children, and finally a couple dozen warriors from each of the three previous villages. Thankfully this entrance to the Citadel had more than enough space as the warriors readied their weapons.

“This is perfect!” chirped Kiera. “Silver’s plan worked just as expected.”

“Them scoundrels showed up looking to take the sage and all our eco,” Trant explained with a devilish smirk. “Came with a pretty nice army too.”

“Well, we couldn’t call ourselves good neighbors if we sent ‘em on their way with nothing,” Mant added with a menacing grin as he held up his blaster. “So we offered up all the eco we could spare, right up their asses.”

“Once I armored up, I spent the last hour meditating in the eco vent, charging myself for the battle to come,” Samos boasted. “Now I feel thirty years younger, ready to assault the fortress and topple the power-mad dictator, just like in my youth.”

“You never told me that story, daddy,” Kiera pointed out, causing Samos to sweat for reasons other than the heat.

An explosion thundered off in the distance, sending tremors through the ground.

“What was that?” demanded Moonlight, ready for an attack.

“Must be the yellow sage’s tribe,” reasoned Samos. “Good. If the Citadel’s already being attacked from elsewhere, they won’t be as prepared for a second front.”

“Third front,” corrected Silver. “Shaggy set his blue capes to attack from the primary lurker entrances.”

Thomas didn’t bother asking how lurkers near Rock Village had already made it this far so quickly. The climax was upon them and now was not the time to point out plot holes.

“It sounds to me like we’re wasting time talking when we should be blowing stuff up!” Shant groused impatiently. “Let’s find that eco so we can get to blasting!”

From there the group split up. Thomas and the players went down the main access corridor into the Citadel while Samos led the warriors through a secondary entrance, one with lots of circuitry and access to spare eco. The main chamber of the Citadel was enormous, large enough to even hold the Precursor Temple from the Forbidden Jungle within its expanse. At the center of it all was a gigantic, high tech shield surrounding the robot from the caves. It was covered head to toe in mismatched chunks of metal, looking rather shoddy, as though it was a rushed job. Even the many floating platforms and access ramps looked like they’d been thrown together in a hurry.

Surprised harrumphed in disappointment. “Ya know, when someone says ‘evil bad guy Citadel’, I was thinking more Canterlot Castle decorated by emos, and less… king and queen of the trash bin.”

“Now sugar. Don’t be rude,” Honey admonished. “We’re guests here. It just ain’t proper ta bad mouth yer host’s home, ‘specially if’n ya show up unannounced.”

Another explosion caused the Citadel to shake, making the players huddle up to keep from falling.

“I’m pretty sure they knew we were coming,” deadpanned Moonlight.

“Hey piss heads!” shouted a rather irate and scratchy voice. “Up here, ya dingbats.”

The party looked up and spied a small cage dangling from the distant ceiling. Inside was an aged woman with yellow skin and overalls that only barely covered her ample chest.

“You the yellow sage?” Thomas asked the woman, silently wondering to himself why he was still surprised by anything anymore.

“Well I as sure as spit ain’t old bluey. He’s been talking our ears off with all his fancy math and theorems for days now. I swear, if Gol and Mai don’t shut him up soon, I’ll shoot him myself!”

“Damn it, woman,” whined the high pitched voice of a man in another distant cage. “You know my name’s not ‘bluey’. Besides, I’ve been trying to explain why all of this is a bad idea, how unleashing this robot and opening the silos will spell untold havoc upon the world.”

“Well why didn’t you just say that to begin with?” shouted the yellow sage.

“Seriously,” added the deep, yet soothing baritone of a third cage. “I was starting to think Kala was right, that you were trying to provoke Gol and Maia into killing you before your power could be harnessed.”

“Well pardon me for thinking the great sages of the world could handle a few multi syllable words,” whined the blue sage.

“Just wait ‘til I out get out of this cage, bluey. I’ll show you a multi syllable word!” cried the yellow sage.

“Oh. Yet another brilliant zinger from lady boom stick,” sighed the red sage.

“Yeah, so, we’re just going to start with saving you guys,” Thomas shouted up. “Okay?” The three sages just continued to bicker and trade insults while the players picked a path.

“Well, at least now we know why the other gates were all turned off,” offered Silver. “It was likely seen as the only way to avert a war.”

Thomas chuckled. “Yeah. I can see that working.”

With so few lurkers lurking about, the greatest hazard the party faced was the ground beneath their feet. Floating platforms above the bottomless pits would appear one moment and fall the next, all at the whims of color coated patterns engraved into said platforms. It was all a veritable maze that took every ounce of focus to navigate.

“Forget what I said about the possibility of peace,” snapped Silver after the most recent close call. Her hand was over her heart as she breathed heavily. “No one who would design their own home like this could be anything but a sadistic monster!”

“I think I know the answer,” Kiera said over the communicator. “I barely understand half the words daddy’s using, but basically there’s this overly complex network of eco flowing through the paths that, for reasons I fear ever understanding, makes this the most efficient and logical set up imaginable.”

The players continued on as they were for some time, occasionally seeing a flash off in the distance, which they attributed to one of the other incursion forces encountering a bit of resistance. Thomas was certain that there weren’t this many paths to choose from in the original game, meaning the Citadel had been upgraded into a full on labyrinth.

“Freeze! Don’t move.”

The party did as instructed, spying the one who’d threatened them just across the path of floating platforms. He was a young kid, probably no older than twelve, with a lean body, tattered puke green clothes, and yellow hair. He looked quite sure of himself, aiming his little sling shot at them.

“Who are you? You don’t look like regular lurkers.”

“Have no fear, young one,” assured Luna with a grace befitting her station. “We are friends of Samos, the green sage, here with our other comrades to free the-”

“Shut up!” snapped the boy.

Luna’s left eye twitched at being so rudely interrupted.

“Weasels aren’t supposed ta talk. What kind of critter are you?”

“Well, if you’ll allow me to explain, I-”

“I said shut up!” he snapped again, pulling taut on his weapon. “You and your sexy, weird skin friends can just zip it ‘til I figure out what’s going on.”

“Okay. I’ve had enough of this,” sighed Moonlight in exasperation. Stepping onto one of the platforms just so, she snapped it up directly in front of her, grabbed it, and tossed it like a disk at the boy.

The boy fired his weapon, unleashing a yellow, marble sized projectile at the platform. The resulting explosion caused the platform to shatter and unleashed a cloud of yellow smoke. Coughing, the boy was too distracted to see that the other platforms were now falling in a pattern reminiscent of someone hopping across. Once he’d gotten his breathing back under control, he looked up just in time to see Moonlight mere inches away in mid lunge. She tackled him to the ground with a spin, relieving him of his weapons as they slid across the metal floor, Moonlight taking the brunt of the friction as she held tightly around him. He was still just a kid after all.

“Got him,” she called. “You guys had best hurry up. He’s a wiggly one.”

“Shut up, orange lady,” cried the. “And get your stupid boobies out of my face!”

Moonlight just beamed in amusement as the boy struggled just to keep his mouth above water, so to speak. She was impressed by his vigor, not unlike a certain other small human.

By the time the players had gathered around their recent prisoner, wondering what to do with him, the commotion he’d caused had drawn the attention of someone else with yellow hair. It was a young woman about Kiera’s age.

“Damn it, Jin! I was gone five minutes. FIVE MINUTES!”

“Not my fault, sis,” Jin cried. “Stupid sexy weird skin ladies distracted me with their-”

“Shush,” hissed the elder sibling. Unlike her brother, this woman actually wore armor over most of her body. She had dagger sheaths all along her legs and arms; most of them empty, and carried a sling shot and marble bag matching her brother’s. She studied the players, looking more curious than agitated that they’d attacked her younger brother. “You guys wouldn’t happen to be the green sage’s apprentices, would you?”

Moonlight stepped forward, grateful to meet someone reasonable. She left Jin in the care of Honey as he struggled all the harder, possibly for reasons other than escape. “That we are. And I assume you’re the yellow sage’s daughter.”

“What gave it away?” she asked with a smirk, blowing an errant strand of yellow hair from her face. “Name’s Jan, second daughter of the yellow sage of Boom Valley. Nice to meet ya,” she greeted, offering out her hand.

Moonlight smiled and reciprocated. The shake was firm without being rough, leaving both women satisfied.

“Don’t make friends with the enemy!” whined Jin.

“Feel free to gag him and tie him up somewhere,” Jan suggested, not even looking at her brother as the other women chuckled. “That’s Jin. You’d never guess he’s the eldest son.”

“Samos suggested that the yellow sage’s tribe would already be attacking,” remembered Luna, eyeing up Jan’s weapons. “You seem like quite the capable warrior. Even your brother, had he better situational awareness, could have held us at bay for some time.”

Jin’s eyes widened and ears perked at the compliment. He then quickly turned his head to hide his blush.

Jan shrugged. “Yeah. With a name like Boom Valley, it’s kinda hard not to fall into the stereotype of a boom-head.” No elaboration was needed as she tapped at her marble bag. “Ma got took a couple weeks ago and we’ve been blasting away at this place ever since. How’d you guys get in?”

“The Lava Tube,” Thomas replied. “Samos is the only sage still walking free. We saw the others in suspended cages in the central chamber.”

“Ma cursin’ up a storm?” Jan asked.

The players collectively nodded.

“Good,” she laughed. “Means they ain’t broken her yet. Big sis Joan and dad are leading the main attack on the ground floor. Sent me and Jin up to scout ahead. What about you guys?”

“We’ve got warriors from Rock Village, the Crater, and Snowy Mountains, all armed with eco blasters,” Moonlight explained. “We even have some allied lurkers stirring up troubles in the ranks.”

“They’re the ones in the blue capes,” added Surprise.

“Lurkers?” asked Jan, looking skeptical. “Well, whatever. So long as they keep their distance, there shouldn’t be any trouble. Jin.”

“Yeah?” asked the still captive boy.

“Run down and tell Joan the news about our new friends. Wouldn’t want any friendly fire spoilin’ the mood, would we?”

Upon his release, Jin gave his sister a reluctant nod and ran back down the way she had come, but not before Moonlight lent him her communicator so their forces could better coordinate.

“I guess I’ll stick with you guys ‘til the others show up. Maybe you can fill me in on what else might be going on?”

**********

The six players moved as quickly as they dared through the hazards of the Citadel, all while Jan gave the backstory of Boom Valley. The land was full to the brim with yellow eco, the ground tough, the food tasteless, and the people more so. With little to farm, the Boomers primarily subsisted off of hunting large and monstrous game with their weapon of choice, concentrated yellow eco balls pressed dangerously tight that exploded on impact. It all reminded Thomas of the popular image of Vikings.

Jan was the second oldest of five children; Joan, herself, Jack, Jin, and Josephine. The eldest four and their father were leading the charge to retake their chief while the youngest, little Josephine, was left in charge of those who remained to guard the village. They’d been launching boomer balls at the main gate for weeks with siege weapons, but the lurker hordes were just too numerous. It was only recently that enemy lines had pulled back enough that the gates could be broken through.

“And that was you guys? You’re a lot tougher than you look,” chuckled Jan, only to look up at Honey. “Except you. I really hope you’re exactly as tough as you look.”

Honey chuckled at the smaller woman’s sudden anxiety and gave her arm a friendly flex. “Ah guess we’ll jus’ have ta wait ‘n’ see.”

At long last, the party arrived at the main access to the red sage’s cell and broke the dynamo that charged his bars, releasing him.

“So you’ve finally come to rescue me,” he said smoothly, sounding much more laid back than earlier. “You know how long I’ve been in here? What took you so-”

“Ma!” shouted Jan. “Ma. Is that you?”

“Well bend me over and slap my titties,” cheered the yellow sage. “Jan. It’s about damn time, girl. What kept ya?”

“Oh,” groaned the red sage, ignoring the mother and daughter as they caught up. “So my rescuer is one of her brood. How… wonderful.”

“To be fair, I was the one who opened your cage,” offered Silver. “We are also in the company of your own children, elsewhere in the Citadel.”

The red sage’s mood lifted after hearing that. “Excellent. The lot of you are real heroes,” he complimented jovially. “However, you've got to stop Gol and Maia before they can use their robot. I'll use my Eco Power to start breaking down the barrier.” He turned and, after channeling red energy for a moment, he slashed his hands and unleashed a series of blade-like blasts upon the distant shield.

With the red sage free, the party pressed on, but not before leaving Silver’s communicator with the old man so he could catch up with his kids and assure them he was alright. The next chosen path was just as hazardous as before, requiring careful timing on everyone’s part. Jan, for whatever reason, lacked the same athletic proficiency as the players, making her somewhat of a handicap in many areas, shaming the young warrior as Honey carried her through most of the obstacles.

Thankfully, these feelings were short lived as they came upon the yellow sage and promptly freed her. Mother and daughter embraced immediately, the former almost tackling the latter right out of the cage.

“Who would have thought I’d ever live to see the day when I’d need to be rescued by a boy, his muskrat, and a bunch o’ weird skinned ladies.”

Luna narrowed her eyes dangerously at the elderly woman.

"Ah'm gonna give Gol and Maia a little payback for this embarrassment!" she proclaimed as Jan retrieved a large musket-like weapon with a portable generator that had been stored just a short distance from the cage. Slipping the generator onto her back, the yellow sage took aim at the shield and began unloading her arsenal of a dozen shots at once that looped and spiraled before hitting their target.

“I’ll stay and help ma. I ain’t much good with all this jumping,” admitted Jan. “You guys take these. I can handle myself just fine,” she added, offering her bag of boomer balls and her slingshot.

“Good luck to both of you,” offered Moonlight and the party was off once more, leaving Honey’s communicator behind.

“These are some really colorful characters,” noted Surprise as they hopped along through the new path. “And it sounds like they’re getting along.” She indicated her own communicator as they listened in on the chatter.

Samos had assumed leadership in the attack. Despite the Boomers’ initial resistance, the strategies the old man offered proved indispensable. The sage children were also chatting it up, Kiera regaling all of them with the adventures of the players, while they also shared a few personal stories that could only really be understood by the progeny of a sage. At the sound of their children getting along, the yellow and red sages took fewer and fewer snipes at one another, not wanting to cause any undo harm to the budding friendships.

“Wonderful,” beamed Luna. “Truly divine that the tribes, after years of isolation, are finally making peace with one another.”

“It’s just a shame that it took a war of this scale to make it happen,” bemoaned Silver.

“That’s just how it goes,” offered Thomas with a shrug. “Folks get set in their ways for so long that it takes a major shock to shake things up.”

“Verily. I foresee a future of prosperity and cooperation for these people when this trial is passed,” predicted Luna.

“Ah’m guessin’, by that look on yer face, it ain’t all sunshine ‘n’ rainbows,” noted Honey as she looked at Thomas.

He pursed his lips in reluctance, thinking of events implied but never seen in Jak 2. “Let’s just say that spoilers suck.”

At long last the players arrived at where the blue sage was being held and freed him. He was a tall, skinny man wearing a strange, metal helmet with many doodads poking out. He also carried a staff that looked as needlessly technical as the rest of the machines back at his hut.

“Good work, fellows!” he cheered. “Old Samos was right about you.”

“In what way?” Silver asked. “I was under the impression you had not talked with one another for at least a decade.”

“And how come you’re the only sage who doesn’t have kids?” Surprise added.

“‘Cause he’s about as straight as them weird wires poking out o’ his head!” called the yellow sage from across the chamber.

The blue sage huffed as the players took a look at the wires poking from his helmet. They were indeed very loopy and zigzagged in places.

“I guess that fits,” agreed Thomas.

"Great piles of Precursor metal!” the blue sage exclaimed, hurriedly trying to change the subject. “That insidious mechanical creation must not be allowed to wreak its terrible havoc!"

“At least we finally agree on something groused Samos over the communicator, earning muted chuckles from the players.

"I will try to actuate the shield door by eliciting a conduit of energy between myself and the vast portal below!"

“English, ya d’rn fool,” snapped the yellow sage.

The blue sage rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna make zappy zap at the baddy bad until it goes beddy bye,” he condescended. “Happy?”

“And that’s why he’s single,” chimed the snickering red sage over the communicator.

Letting out a shrill cry of fury, the blue sage pointed his staff at the shimmering shield and released a steady yet powerful stream of blue energy. Compared to what the last two sages had done, the blue sage’s attack was terribly disappointing.

Making their way down to the center of the main chamber, the players ascended the last stretch of moving platforms to the height of the shield containing the robot.

“A thought occurs,” announced Silver after having made the latest jump across the spinning levers. Do we actually have to take down the shield? Why not simply leave the robot be and go for Gol and Maia-”

“No!” snapped Surprise, slamming her hand over Silver’s mouth. “I was promised a giant robot battle, so I’m getting a giant robot battle. Understand?”

“‘Tis best to neutralize the machine anyway,” added Luna. “Such a weapon would most certainly prove too tempting for future evil doers.”

“Actually,” interjected Thomas, “it might prove hand in holding those future evil doers at bay.”

“Spoilers?” asked Moonlight.

“Hey, I like these characters, even the ones we sorta made up ourselves. If we could neutralize the robot without destroying it, it’d probably make everyone’s lives a lot better with what’s to come.”

Beaming, Moonlight pulled Thomas into a fierce hug and nuzzled her cheek roughly against his. “I’m so lucky to have such a caring stallion.”

“Good on ya, sugar,” added Honey with a firm smack to the back. “Couldn’t o’ said it better mahself.”

When at last the players came to the place Samos would have been held captive, they looked down to see they were no longer alone. The full might of their allies were assembled, scaling the scaffolding to join the players at the top. With the shield on its last legs, the sages were now working in turns to create solid eco constructs to help the army advance.

“You’re too late, fools,” hissed Gol as he and his sister hovered before the players. “Once I-er,” he hesitated at the look Maia gave him, “once we possess limitless dark eco, we will have the key to creation itself!”

Maia nodded her approval.

“This is madness,” shouted Samos. “Releasing that much dark eco will destroy everything we know. Just look at what it’s done to you two!”

“It has given us a beauty beyond anything you could ever understand,” huffed Maia defensively.

“Enjoy your front row seats to the recreation of the world!” proclaimed Gol as he and his sister moved through the last gleaming vestiges of the shield, causing it to shatter with an electric crackle, as they flew into the robot’s eye. With a steady thrum that caused the entire Citadel to shake, the great machine began its ascent up the center passage.

“Thomas!” exclaimed Samos. “You and the others take the elevator up and delay that robot as long as you can! We need just a little more time before the army is in position.” And with that, the green sage returned to the assembled forces.

“Hold it off?” Surprise snorted her amusement. “You’d think he’d know us better by now.”

The others nodded their agreement.

**********

Once they’d reached the top, the players disembarked from the elevator and found the robot already at work on the distant silo, blasting a steady beam of blue eco from its right eye down to pry open the main doors. Nearby was a large clutch of chests filled with blue and green eco, all set near a hover pad with a blue lightning bolt, just waiting to be activated.

“So what’s the plan?” Silver asked as she looked down from the obscenely tall tower and absolutely not feeling nervous with her lack of wings. “Because just running in and smashing does not seem like the wisest course.”

“Ah’m a decent shot with these babies,” said honey as she tested the elastic cord. “But Ah don’t think these boom balls’ll do much damage.”

The unicorn let out a sigh, focusing her attention on their surroundings. “I’d feel much better if we had more room to move around. This limited space puts us at a severe disadvantage to the robot’s arsenal.” She exhaled nervously and chewed on her thumb. “If only we could divide its attention.”

“Maia seemed rather insecure when Samos brought up her appearance,” noted Silver.

“The both of them responded to my warning back in the Crater,” reminded Luna. “I could try again, but I fear they will not listen so long as their weapon grants them a feeling of invincibility.”

“What’s with the fancy door?” asked Surprise, pointing at the large metal door off towards the edge of the Citadel tower. It was large, engraved in numerous runes and, if one listened, gave off a peculiar hum.

“Time portal,” Thomas explained hurriedly. “It’s how the next game begins, but it only activates once we have… all…”

“All what?” Moonlight asked.

Ignoring her, Thomas pulled out his pack, opened it, and quickly counted all the power cells they’d gathered. “200,” he muttered. “That should do it.”

“Do what?” Honey asked.

Thomas turned to his fellow players and quickly explained his plan. Honey, Moonlight, and Surprise were to go behind the elevator and wait until ordered to come out. Silver was instructed to take the elevator down and get the allied forces to hurry up, just in case this plan failed. This left Thomas and Luna, the smallest and most seemingly harmless members to enact stage one of their plan.

“Hey Maia!” Thomas called from the edge of the tower, unwittingly activating his communicator with his volume. “Just so you know, I always thought you were kinda hot!”

**********

Meanwhile, back in the Citadel, the sage children were all running up the eco construct stairs, leading the way as the army followed close behind. Kiera, incredulous at what she’d heard, blinked repeatedly. “The hell did he just say?” Her tone left the other sage children too fearful to offer any sort of consolation.

**********

Maia, no doubt wondering the same thing, deactivated the blue beam and turned the robot to face the assembled pair. “What did you say?”

Thomas grimaced, bracing himself for his next words. Being autistic, raising his voice was hard enough at the best of times, let along out in the open and in the presence of people who openly hated him. “You’ve got dark skin and really big boobs. It reminds me of my first love.”

Luna smiled, both in appreciation for his choice of words and impressed at overcoming his personal hurdle. However, she quickly shook those thoughts aside, remembering her role in the plan now that the enemy’s attention had been garnered. She hopped up onto Thomas’ shoulder, making herself more easily seen.

“You,” Gol hissed. “The creature born of dark eco. Why do you pursue us?”

“Because I must,” Luna said, her words regal and her posture unflinching as the robot hovered directly before her. “Because I cannot allow you to make my mistakes.”

“You speak with such certainty, with wisdom beyond your age,” Maia analyzed.

“You’d be surprise,” Thomas murmured, motioning with his hands behind his back for the others to be ready.

“You boast to be experts, so do not dare claim ignorance of the horrors the darkness has wrought. I have seen it. I have ventured across the world and witnessed the way the darkness has twisted local flora and fauna into abominations. Do you honestly believe the world would benefit if such monstrosities were to become widespread?”

“Do not presume to lecture us, small one,” Gol sneered. “Precautions have been taken to-”

“Precautions?” laughed Luna bitterly. “I see no precautions. You are using a giant mechanical beast to blast open a door; a door locked by those your people refer to as gods I might add. What precautions have you set in place that compensate for the deliberate disregard of your elders’ wisdom?”

There was a pause as the robot simply hovered in silence. And then Maia spoke up. “What about you? Based on our readings, you’ve been altered to channel eco more efficiently than any other creature on the planet, all thanks to dark eco!”

“And what of the countless thousands of lurkers who fell in?” Luna asked. “I have spoken to their kin. Nine in ten are lucky and simply die. Others emerge as mad monsters who blindly attack even their own mates. I am an anomaly,” she held out her arms in presentation, “not to be replicated so recklessly.”

Another pause followed. As the robot hovered, Thomas quietly gestured to Luna at how its left elbow was sparking just above the large cannon. In turn, Luna indicated smoke rising from the right knee.

The flies were doing their job.

“Hey! What’s going on?” shouted Gol as the robot made several violent jerks. “The controls aren’t responding.”

“Sabotage!” screamed Maia. “Those twerps tricked us.”

“Now!”

At Thomas’ word, the cavalry came rushing forward from behind the elevator. Honey shot boomer ball after boomer ball as she ran, aiming for the robot’s right eye. In mere moments it shattered as the robot’s jerking twitches almost resembled a sense of pain. Undeterred, Honey and Surprise exchanged a nod as the green woman grabbed the white woman by the wrist and ankle, whirled her around until enough force had been stored, and then launched her at the robot’s smoking eye.

“Die, robot! Die!” It was a battle cry as good as any other as the wingless pegasus got to work on the damaged areas. She plunged her hands deep into exposed areas and yanked out large wads of circuitry and even the occasional power cell. All were discarded to the ground below as Surprise moved with manic, gleeful speed to the next area to repeat the process.

“Now what?” Moonlight asked as Honey continued to empty her collection of boomer balls at the robot’s legs. The left one had already fallen off at the knee.

“Now this!” Thomas turned and ran back towards the door. He arrived just in time for the elevator to open and allied forces spilled out, starting with the sages and their children, who all took their places around the tower and readied their weapons.

“What was that you were saying about big boobs?” Kiera asked in warning, arms folded under her chest to give her own breasts that extra pep.

“Not the time!” he shouted as he ran past her and skidded to a stop before the inert time portal, and opened his pack. The great door sucked out his collection of power cells like a vacuum, assembling them in a spiral pattern along the door’s surface. The collective glow of the cells was so brilliant and bright that, for a moment, everyone had forgotten that they were supposed to be fighting. Instead, they all looked upon the door as a crack appeared in the middle, the two halves pulling themselves apart.

“What… is it?” Gol asked, entranced.

Thomas turned around and gave the assembled audience a firm look. “The future,” he answered plainly.

**********

Several hours later, the united forces of, well… the planet? They really needed some sort of name. Anyway, they’d all gathered at the base of the Citadel and awaited the word of the sages for what was to be done next. It was decided that Gol and Maia were to pay reparations to the aggrieved parties by handing over all of their technology and offering instruction for its use. The yellow sage’s calls for a harsher punishment had quieted after Luna administered a vicious dressing down of the pair, followed by Silver’s even more brutal spanking that even caused those at the back of the crowd to flinch with each smack. Whatever their mistakes, Gol and Maia were still sages, Samos argued, and it was for the good of the world that they demonstrate a united front.

The blue and red sages were given joint custody of the robot, since they had the proper technical knowhow to make the necessary repairs. The yellow sage was given control the Citadel. The Citadel’s farming equipment, which Gol and Maia had been using to nourish their army, was to be divided evenly among all factions, including the Snow Tribe and Shaggy’s lurkers. The teleporter gates were to be moved to more open areas within the various villages and left open to encourage free and easy travel. This was especially happy news for the sage children, all having prior talks with their parents about how much they treasured their new friends and didn’t want to be parted.

Samos was granted custody of the contents of the Precursor door. The reason offered was that Sandover was so remote that, if anything bad happened, there wouldn’t be too many casualties. However, as they gave this excuse, the players and sage children couldn’t help but notice at how grim their leaders looked, like there was something more they wanted to say.

At the end of it all, Thomas, Luna, Moonlight Shield, Silver Bell, Apple Honey, and Surprise were lined up on a high platform for all to see. The ceremony was short, but the cheers of thanks were loud, boisterous, and occasionally a bit lewd.

When it was over, and everyone was saying their final goodbyes, Kiera made her way over to the players, looking nonplussed. “Big boobs, huh?”

“I had to say something that would get her attention,” Thomas defended, shrugging sheepishly under the woman’s withering glare. He looked to his friends for assistance, but they seemed a little too busy giggling at his expense. Some friends they were.

“You know, I’ve been talking with daddy, and he says I’m still growing. Even Kala said just being a sage automatically gives me a leg up in a lot of… areas.” She turned her hips and gave her backside a roll.

Sighing in relief, Thomas approached his first gamer crush and pulled her into a hug, causing her voice to hitch. “Don’t talk like that,” he whispered. “I’m not that shallow and you’re more than just a pretty face.”

Kiera gave a slight whimper as she cautiously returned Thomas’ hug. “You mean it?”

“You’re my friend, Kiera. And Thomas is someone who looks after his friends.” He looked over his shoulder at the other ladies and motioned for them to join.

They all shared in the group hug as the world slipped silently and peacefully into blackness, the dream deciding that this was a fitting place to end the game.

And that was my take on a MLP and Jak crossover. I absolutely loved adding all these new characters and fleshing out the world, even towards the end. I knew I wanted to make the yellow sage a woman from the start and making her people warriors just seemed so fitting since she was the only sage to actually carry a weapon.

At the end of it all, Gol, Maia, and their robot survive, an alliance is brokered between the many villages to help combat future threats, and the stage is set for the next game. Whether or not I actually cover that one is still up in the air, but this will not be the last time I play around with Thomas and friends in dream-based virtual reality.

It was just so immensely fun expanding things like this. In this modern age of modding, and the age of virtual reality just over the horizon, part of my inspiration for this story was the question of how someone might mod this old classic if it came out today.