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Anon-a-miss: The Nuclear Option

by ChAoS pOnY

Chapter 6: Shadows, Jail Birds, Grandpa, A Different Type Of Apple, and Sisters?

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Shadows, Jail Birds, Grandpa, A Different Type Of Apple, and Sisters?

Somewhere in a house at the end of a street, in an attic and hidden behind several boxes, three heavily modified older laptops and several dozen old, broken, cheap cell phones that had been cannibalized and rewired into an odd looking device that was all plugged into a wall lit up. On the screens several video feeds began cycling through until one showed the inside of a car as Vinyl Scratch and Octavia made out. Down below in a bed room a boy watched on a tablet. "That's right, ignore the cell phone plugged into the charger and get dirty for me." Only they stopped when the phone went off. "Dammit, so close." So he started cycling through again until he finally decided to just bring up one of his favorites, Miss Harshwhinny and her lovely little sluts. Thank goodness Miss Harshwhinny enjoyed music while playing with her girls and had bought one of those cell phone docking stations with speakers. Some like minded people paid bit-coins for his videos and as soon as he graduated he planned to cash in, scale up from just a single high school, and never look back.

Anon-a-miss could play their kiddy games, but he knew those three would never understand how valuable knowledge could really be. This Kijo might, but he couldn't figure out Kijo's game. Pausing on an image of Rainbow Dash Screaming as she came, he thought about it. Maybe he might try contacting Kijo and working out a deal since whoever they are they had already used some of his videos. Maybe use this Kijo to test out releasing audio taken from cell phones like everything that was happening to Gilda, the phone conversations between the Diamond Dawg Boys and the Griffonstone Killers leaders, or even the truth about Anon-a-miss.


Adagio and Sunset walked down the hall of the police station with a police officer and one of Adagio's Lawyers, Tirek Lord, since he dealt with criminal matters. Oddly enough it wasn't the fight that had got Sonata arrested but because she drove the same car that she had out ran the police in after Sunset was attacked and all because one of her tail lights had been out. They had passed Mr. Doodle, Mr. Magnet, Miss Harshwhinny, and about half a dozen Diamond Dawg Boys being booked and a frustrated detective complaining to another that Fancy Pants and his wife were in Brazil for the next several months setting up several new factories. Plus Rarity had just turned 18 a month before they left and with no time stamp to say otherwise or who ever took the video, the chances of getting her to say it was before her birthday and arresting them was zero.

Finally they reached the women's holding area and saw Sonata in one cell with a drunk Berry Punch and Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy in another sporting bumps, bruises, and in Rainbow Dash's case bandages across her nose. "Hi Dagi, can we bail Berry Punch and that Bulk Biceps guy out as well? Berry Punch and me were talking and I think all she really needs is a few friends to talk to and a better outlet for dealing with her problems and she won't drink as much." Sonata told her.

"What the hell?" Rainbow Dash yelled from her cell. "So it's not enough to betray us, but now you're hanging out with the Dazzlings?"

"At least we didn't set it up so she would get jumped by Gilda and her friends for something she obviously didn't do?" Adagio said as she stepped around Sunset and placed herself in front of her.

"Sure and next you're going to tell me you didn't set this up to get us out of the way so you guys can try to take over the school." Rainbow Dash shot back.

"No, this is all you." Adagio said, "Sonata was only there to place an order for our Hearth Warming Eve party, the rest is entirely you."

"Once again with the fake holiday." Rainbow Dash said dismissively.

"Hearth Warming Eve and Hearth Warming Day are Equestrian holidays celebrated at the end of the year and beginning of the next and are a combination of Thanksgiving, Christmas, the Forth of July, and New Year all rolled into one." Sunset said as step up beside Adagio and looked at the four girls in the cell, while being mindful of those who didn't know about the portal. "It represents the beginning of our people and after the near extinction of the three warring tribes and uniting behind the ideal of the fires of friendship in every ones hearts and it giving them the strength to survive. It is a time of friendship, both being with old and making new ones. It's a time of being with family, being thankful for what you have, forgiving others you may have had differences with, and for some remembering those that were lost. It is a time for letting go of the past and meeting the new year fresh and clean and knowing that a better tomorrow is upon the horizon and rushing forward to meet it." She then crossed her arms and gave them a very disappointed look before saying. "Saying that it is fake to any Equestrian, even Twilight, is the same as telling a Jewish person that the Holocaust didn't happen or tell a Wiccan that there were never any witch hunts, or Burning Times in Europe. Would any of you say that to Vinyl Scratch, Microchip, or any of the other the other Jewish kids at school. As for you, Fluttershy, should know better given that you are a Wiccan."

Ignoring the girl's sobs, Sunset started to turn back towards Sonata when Rarity spoke up. "Nice speech darling, but a bit hypocritical of you after making poor Fluttershy cry. Didn't you say something about forgiving others?"

"It's not midnight on Hearth Warming yet, so no, I do not have to forgive anyone yet, Forgiving does not mean forgetting and we only forgive those who are willing to put aside their differences with us and let go of what happened and move on." She said looking Rarity dead in the eyes. "We Equestrians might not seem like it, but we can hold a grudge better than anyone else. In one case three sisters grudge for being exiled was held for over a thousand years and in another a younger sister's jealousy of her older sister began a grudge that lasted over a thousand years and if Twilight was here she would tell you how that one ended." With that she turned and looked at the both the cop and the lawyer and said, "We'll take the drunk and the muscle bound oaf as well." Before turning and stalking out of holding and leaving Tirek and Adagio to deal with the details.


"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" The yellow skinned, white haired old man said as he hugged Aria as her and Trixie stood in Presto the Great's Magical Imporium. Behind her was an old faded poster of the Dusk Sisters with special guest Presto the Great for one night only. Sure he had a lot more wrinkles and his hair use to be light blue, but it was still Presto after all these years. "My grand baby told me about three singers at the battle of the bands and all the magical happenings and I knew it had to be you and your sisters like all those years ago with that big star scorpion thing."

"It was a Scorpius from Equestria, but we have no ideal how it ended up there." Aria told him as they let go of each other. "I'm just sorry we had to use your old station wagon to blow up the entrance to the cave we finally trapped it in and about Oh-La-La."

"At least she didn't have see the monster our little girl became or the creep she married." Presto said with a sad look before gesturing to Trixie. "At least those two were good for one thing. I remember one time they visited when Trixie was three and she was running around with my old hat and cape yelling 'Behowld tah Gweat n Powwerful Twixie!'"

"Grandpa!" Trixie squeaked while blushing before loudly proclaiming, "The Great and Powerful Trixie is not amused."

"Yeah, she's definitely your grand daughter." Aria laughed.

"The Mighty Presto the Great will have you know his Great and Powerful Grand Daughter will one day Awe and Amaze the World!" Presto proclaimed as he took up a stance with one fist on his hip and pointing towards the sky with the other before joining Aria and laughing as well. finally wiping his eyes and calming down he said, "Now I remember your type and I'm not going to get in the way, but if you hurt..."

"Grandpa!" Trixie squeaked again, blushing even harder.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa old man!" Aria said holding up her hands. "Yeah, she's cute and all that, but it isn't like that. She was having a rough day and I talked to her before giving her a lift home. The only thing I had planned was inviting her to a sorta overnight New Year's Eve party at our house tomorrow and nothing more."

"Will Sonata be there?" Presto asked.

"Of course she will be there." Aria said. "She does live there."

"Just don't leave her alone with Sonata." Presto warned. "She gets grabby if she drinks or has too much sugar."

"Or in a fight, or arrested and thrown in jail, but I doubt she can get in that much trouble just ordering food for the party." Aria said. "I mean what are the chances of that happening while ordering a bunch of sweets at a bakery and a dozen pizzas and some two litters from a pizza place."

"Okay then." Presto said, giving his permission.

Turning she then started to ask but Trixie said, "Yes, but Trixie is not riding on your motorcycle while trying to hold onto an overnight bag."


Mr. Good-Bar looked up at the green haired, red skinned man in the black suit and tie and the barrel of the gun pointed at his face. "My name is Northern Spy and I might not be as well versed in the countryisms of my relatives, but what I am versed in is finding and removing problems for some very powerful people. Normally my family would have no need for my abilities, but locating a particular missing family member proved to be very difficult. I am here to negotiate the termination of employment of an employee of yours, one lady of negotiable affections and an addiction to narcotics that you supply for her. I hold no ill will towards you or the 43 individuals in your employment that will need medical attention soon if you wish to keep them in your employment, but they seem to believe that my request for this meeting was negotiable, it was not. Now that I have your full attention I wish to negotiate for my cousin, Apple Munchies, release from any contractual agreement with you or any of your associates and no further contact with her or any other member of the Apple Family for the price of a single bullet. If you agree to my terms I will leave that bullet here with you in this room and you will never have to see me again, but if you refuse to my terms I will be forced to leave that bullet with you in a very unpleasant way and take my cousin with me anyways." He paused for a moment to let the man process what he had just said before asking. "So Mr. Good-Bar, do you accept my terms or not?"

Fuji Apple jumped when she heard the latest shot from inside the Good Times Bar as she waited for her distant cousin to come out. A moment later Northern Spy walked out as if nothing had happened. "We will head to 2953, 43rd avenue, apartment 219 to pick up our wayward Apple and then an hour drive to Canterlot for a home cooked meal by Granny as payment for services rendered. Then we will meet your mother, Mutsu, at the airport now that that business with the Yakuza has been taken care of and you will begin your new life in Canterlot." He said while opening the passenger door on the large black caddy for her.

"Anata wa watashi ga mada eigo o hanasu koto ga dekinai koto o shitte imasu yo ne?" She asked.

"Yes and soon you will enjoy the finest home cooked apple pie ever." He said before closing the door.

"Hahaoya wa watashitachi no amerikahito shinseki no ikutsu ka ga kimyōda to keikoku shita." She grumbled as he got in and started the car.

"Canterlot wa kimyōda to iwa rete imasuga, harikēn ni tsuite wa nani o iimasu ka, mottomo anzen'na basho wa arashinome no maedesu." He replied as they drove away while smoke began pouring out of the quiet bar's doors.


Gabby lead her guest into the room where Gunther checked Gilda over while Johnny watched. "How is she Gunther?"

"She still a tough as hell bitch." Gunther said. "I think she only survived out of spite."

"Well do what you can." Gabby said as she kissed the old, grizzled gang member on the cheek.

"Umm... Gabby, I been meaning to ask why are we keeping her alive?" Johnny asked.

"Weeell, you see, I had time to think and realized that we need an example, something that really sent a message to everyone who think we are done and they can just screw us over or even turn on us like Gilda did. The only real question was how, but then I remembered someone who really hated Gilda. So I called her and she had a wonderful ideal. What if we didn't kill her, but instead kept her alive for months of on and off fun and games before dumping a cripple, scarred, mentally and physically broken, and messed up to the point of being unidentifiable Gilda in front of a hospital. She would be alive only as a message that we can do something much worse than killing you." Gabby explained.

"But won't they look for her after she went missing?" Johnny asked while trying to wrap his head around her plan.

"That's where I come in." The other girl said as she pulled back the hood of her coat and smiled as both Johnny and Gunther did a double take. "I'm Glenda, Gilda's identical twin sister and the bitch owes me for leaving me with that abusive, drunkard of a sperm donor and going with mom after the divorce. I ran away after the first time came home drunk and raped me, but not before cutting the break lines on his car. With mom in jail after Gilda turned states evidence and Gilda living alone I'll just take her place. From what I hear, I just have to be a total bitch and they will never know a thing."

"Plus Rover is such a sweetie, telling me about everything, all of their operations, numbers, and organization. It's a real pity how lacking he is between the legs and is to much of a pansy in bed." Gabby giggled before getting serious. "But he did tell me about the third school and with CHS being to hot right now, plus a history of weird things happening there, and how Crystal Prep is ran I think Whitetail Woods High School is where we will start."

"So you're finally getting smart and giving up on Griffonstone?" Gunther asked.

"Of course." Gabby answered. "I just needed to find the right place for us to rebuild before we spread out. We were bunched up in one place and it only took one person to bring it all down. This time the Killers will spread from city to city until no matter how hard they try they won't be able to get rid of us ever again."

Author's Notes:

I debated adding a few characters earlier than I had planned to, but after I added one I decided to add a few more just for fun or to foreshadow things to come.

This was originally in the story as a way to explain how the Scorpius ended up on earth, but was removed because it didn't fit the story:

"Hey Tia, did you ever find out if Starswirl's spell worked and sent Mr. Pinchy back to the Badlands?" Princess Luna asked as they shared tea in the garden.

"No Lulu, but it is a big desert and I'm sure he is very happy where ever he is." Princess Celestia told her as they went back to contemplating the statue of a very surprised looking Yak and trying to remember why Starswirl had turned him to stone while he was on the toilet.

my version of Starswirl the Bearded sometimes had the attitude that he was too old and too tired to put up with this crap.

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Anon-a-miss: The Nuclear Option

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