Another day, another breakfast. Another boring morning.

The Doctor slowly, sleepily chewed his buttered toast, daydreaming through the tediously normal setting around him. He didn't need to feel sleepy, he actually spent most of the night just forcing a meditative state because he didn't feel like doing anything anymore. Right now, he just didn't want to wake up.

He knew what this day entailed. No chance avoiding it any longer. This was the first day he'd spend actually trying to make an honest, normal living. As in, for real this time. No more goofing around. An honest lifestyle was the only option available. Celestia made it plenty clear that he could no longer leave, even if he wanted to. He was bound to this town. And sure, he agreed. He was aware of how fortunate he had really been last night. He had even been given the chance to choose what type of chain he'd prefer. Either royal gold, or static silver.

He knew what was at stake. He wouldn't like endangering anyone's lives. Celestia's precautions were understandable. He didn't blame her, he would've actually been upset if she didn't at least do as much as she did. Nonetheless, the shackles still weighed on him. It was not because he was a free spirit, although that was still a factor. What really bothered him was that he just didn't like being told what to do.

Oh well. There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he was supposed to do about it. Best just make the best of things. Of normal life, as normal as he was ever going to have it.

Yeah, right.

For the sake of staying sane, he intended on finding the most fun job he could possibly find, possibly one involving looking for/causing trouble. He had no idea what that job was going to be yet, though, but it didn't matter. It was going to happen.

It had to.

"'Sigh...'"

'I'm going to lose my mind here, aren't I?'

Ditzy took notice of his down-trotted demeanor. She decided to try and lift his spirits. "So, Doctor. It came to my understanding that you like parties. What kind of parties do you prefer?"

"I dunno. Fun ones? Music, dancing, games, making friends..."

"Huh. And what about the music? Any explicit preferences?"

"Not really... why do you ask?" he questioned, thinking nothing of it.

"Oh, no reason. Just... making small talk. I take it you've been to a lot of parties before?"

"You could say that..." By that, he meant to say 'You have no idea. Just give me a banana, and I can turn any party into a rave.'

Ditzy looked intently at her sister, who actually gave a smile, despite intending on being cross at the two of them for today. He noticed the exchange from the corner of his seemingly, blurry eyes, while pretending to be too asleep and preoccupied with his meal.

'They're planning something, aren't they?'

If he didn't know his current standing in this household, he'd have initially thought that they were planning on throwing him a surprise party. Like he wasn't already mooching enough around here...

Somehow, surprisingly, Doseydotes seemed to have had enough good cheer to keep everything civil until the little one left. Breakfast was spent calmly, ordinarily. No conflict yet. A few exchanges of words, consisting mostly of what Dinky was going to do today and how she was getting along with other kids, what job offerings were available and what was the word on gossip and rumors. Apparently one of Doseydotes' friends, Prim Posy, got asked out on a date.

The conversations lasted for about a dozen more minutes (which felt like an eternity to the Time Lord) until Dinky finished her cereal and left for school. Finally, after waiting for the last couple of days, Dotes could confront them. And she wasn't going to let that chance get away.

Forelegs crossed, she shot daggers at them both, but otherwise kept her cool. Fashionably, she took her time to ask, "So... Is there anything you'd like to tell me?"

Silence.

"Cause it kind of looks like you two want to tell me something."

More silence, thought this time with a pinch of 'uh oh'.

The two interrogees didn't think this through. They only talked about telling her last night, not how they'd tell her. And apparently, the younger sibling was not going to make it easy on them.

They had two options. Either trying to convince her that everything was alright and normal, which it wasn't, or they could tell her the truth, which was doable, if only troublesome. Ditzy didn't want to subject her to such unreasonable hogwash, but she wanted even less to lead her on.

Could they let her in on their little secret? It would be for the best. Neither of them WANTED to, though. And not saying anything right now was only making everything so much worse.

The Doctor, through no small amount of nervousness pushed aside and buried in every bit of chutzpah he could manage, answered, "Well... you might've noticed how your sister and I have been acting a bit... odd lately."

"I might have."

That confused him a little. "You might have? So, you're not certain yourself?"

"...What we're trying to say is," Ditzy cut in, "that we might've forgotten to tell you a few things. And, we're very sorry about that. It's just that it was just a huge mess and we just didn't know how you'd react..."

'Oops...'

"React to what? To noticing that you're going out with some guy you just picked up off the street? That you've been seen at Appleseed Corner two nights ago, and that everyone in town is talking about it now? Or maybe you're talking about the fact that you're wandering alone in the Everfree with him?"

'Huh. Didn't think that one through either.' Ditzy thought.

Dotes went on. "Luckily, no one really knows anything about you other than the fact that you're new in town. So far, you're just that mysterious stranger that's living here on rent, not an eccentric weirdo who won't even tell his real name!"

Yeah... why does normal life just have to be so needlessly complicated? Can't a Time Lord settle down, find a job, lay low for a while without the threat of getting emotionally involved with anyone or put under a social microscope? Honestly...

"In all honesty... If I were to tell you my real name, you wouldn't even be able to pronounce it properly. Doctor's fine."

Ditzy's got his back. "And I thought we were settled regarding what happened yesterday. We weren't wandering, we were really worried about Zecora..."

"Yeah, well, sorry if I'm reserving a gram of suspicion regarding your recklessness!"

"Dosey..."

"No, you listen! Two nights ago, you left us alone to worry all day, then came back and acted like nothing happened! Last night, I've been alone with Dinky again. It was thundering outside and she was scared because you weren't home. I needed to tell her that you were okay, when I wasn't even sure myself! Are you really okay? You tell me, cause I honestly don't know."

Saying they're not together would be useless now. It might even be worse. Why else would Ditzy go out of her way to such extents?

"If I might intervene..." The Doctor went, "I honestly don't know what the big deal is. Sure, the forest might seem a tad gloomy at first sight. But is it really that dangerous? Cause if it is, then I really don't think it was such a great idea to settle a town here... Anyway, if it really is, and I knew it, then I wouldn't have taken her with me to begin with."

There, that should do it.

"Can it, Doctor. I've barely started with you."

...Well, it's still very important to stand your ground. But a man knows when he's beaten. Best to just count your losses and give up.
He sighed, and charged in head-first as a last ditch effort to maintain some control of this downward spiral. "Alright. Where would you like to start?"

Dotes fixed him with a glare. "For starters, how about that name of yours?"

'Maybe I should've said I had amnesia by now... What should I tell her?' "...I'd like to ask you, exactly what does it matter how you call me? Would it make me any less me? Any more someone else you would like more?"

"It would help to know that we're not dealing with some nut job that got out of the insane asylum in some other town!"

"Oh... Good point. So, you're going to search for my name then? Is that it?"

"If you're not going to tell us where you're from or why you're here, then I guess I don't have a choice!"

"Okay then, I suppose there's no use hiding it any more..."

He took a deep breath, just a few seconds to figure out what exactly he should tell her. What was it they decided they'd tell her again? Oh right, the truth. Better than to continue to lead her on like that.

Well, here goes...

"He can't remember his name." Ditzy stated before him.

They both looked at her, one more surprised than the other. Even Ditzy seemed a bit surprised about what she just said.

"What, you'd think I'd let a stranger under our house without even so much as knowing his name? I asked him the first day we met, but it turned out that not even he knew. He made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone else about it..."

Dotes looked at him expectantly. He looked like his words were stuck in his throat, right before getting out.

"So, what? Are you saying you have amnesia from the fall?"

He supposed he needed to play along now. If only his tongue would just unfurl and his brain would break out of its state of shock already.
"I... suppose." 'Come on, old man. You don't have anything better anyway. Just roll with it...' "I mean, I don't have any other explanation myself. What other reason would I have to not know my own name?"

Best way to lie is to seem like you're slightly annoyed by the question. Tiredly, as a certain poet and play writer had once put it. Just an already suppressed kind of annoyance. You'd still try to act civil even if you were revolted for real. So, answer like you knew for a fact that your version was truth. In his case, he didn't know what else could've possibly caused his "amnesia". So he shouldn't insist on the idea too much.

Dotes seemed to have given their explanation some benefit of a doubt. After all, she knew her sister would never openly lie to her. "I suppose that would be a good enough reason why you never talk about yourself... If only you didn't mention earlier that you do know what your name is, but that I couldn't pronounce it."

Darn.

"I... lied?"

"Did you, or are you lying now?"

He looked her in the eye, challenging her with the best tired, subdued annoyance he could.

She lasted a total of two seconds under his full-blown scrutiny. Looks like he finally took the safeties off. "I don't have a name, other than the one I gave you."

TENSION. Sweet, lovable old friend, oh how I've missed you not. Luckily, it seemed these answers were enough to appease her.

"Okay... but honestly though. You could've chosen a less conspicuous alias."

"Yeah, I could've. I just came up with it on the fly."

"And you don't plan on changing it?"

"Nope."

"..."

They went on that way for a while longer. Dotes insisted that he might want to consider changing his name, mostly to help him get a job. At which point she remembered she had a job to get to herself, and left. Ditzy then continued in her sister's stead. She managed to convince him with the fact that it would not only help him settle more easily, but also keep a low profile.

But then he countered that he already introduced himself this way to the locals. So this entire argument was a waste of time.
Oh, if only they had known beforehand... Oh well. Feyraltia was a nice planet while it lasted.

"So..." he stretched.

"...So what?" Ditzy retorted, leading them both out of the house.

"Why did you lie to her?"

"Look. I'd love to get this weight off my chest. I really would. But I'd much rather not tell her that the world might potentially end in the near future."

"I suppose that is a pretty heavy bomb to drop... Wouldn't much like being the target of its resulting frustrations either. Being the direct recipient and all. Still, though..."

They exited the house, and started on their way. Leaving the door unlocked... The Doctor didn't much like that fact.

Ditzy went on. "She doesn't manage very well under stressful situations. You might've noticed that she's a little testy when it comes to things that are out of her hooves."

"Well, you were acting rather strangely lately. Going out with some weird stallion who won't even offer a proper name..."

"Yeah, well, she was actually surprisingly lenient this time. You should've seen her during the Nightmare Moon incident."

"Why, what did she do?"

"Nothing much. She just almost bit the mayor's head off, when she didn't like her pleas for everypony to calm down and return to their homes. Made a ruckus, really. It was a wonder she didn't get locked up for what came out of her mouth."

"That's it?" The Doctor asked incredulously. "You were being threatened with eternal night. How exactly was that an overreaction."

"She tackled the mayor and threatened to feed her her own tail."

"Oh... huh." the Doctor stopped in his tracks for a few seconds to register that new knowledge, before catching back up to the mailmare.

"Honestly, I have no idea why she's so calm about this. I'm guessing it might have something to do with her coltfriend, but..."

"Moving on." The Doctor insisted. "You're saying the reason why you would rather lie to her now is because she has a temper?"

"The reason why I lied to her now was because she doesn't need to worry about you. Her temper was only further discouragement. And... she does kind of have a history of being a gossip."

"...Okay then. Let's just hope this doesn't come back to bite us later on."

She shook at that statement. If her sister ever finds out she'd lied about him, who knows how she'd react...

"Maybe I should tell her the truth eventually..."

"By all means, better late than never. You might as well wait for her to be in a good mood, for you to ruin it with this revelation."

"Gee. Thanks."

Ponyville seemed to be getting back to it's usual, perfect way of being. Save for a few mud puddles here and there. There was talk that the weather team would arrange for warm weather within the town'd radius, dry it up before noon. Oh well, it was only morning.

Quite honestly, the Doctor didn't see the harm in the change in scenery. How often do you get to see mud puddles around? Was it that much of an inconvenience?
For whatever reason, he felt like running through one such puddle, most likely splashing it everywhere. He didn't give into said odd temptation, though, because that would be childish and he needed to actually look presentable today. Job interviews and zebra interrogations and all that jazz.

The two equines reached an intersection. One way led to the post office, where Ditzy worked. Also, conveniently enough, the Doctor needed to take the same road towards town hall, where he was to check the message board in its front for job offers.

His view shifted to the road leading to Golden Oaks. Then it shifted to Ditzy. He imagined he might've seemed like he was pleading with her.

She sighed in resignation, smiling reassuringly. "Weren't you supposed to find a job?"

"Yeah, but I don't really need to go there immediately, do I? I mean I can manage the interview, don't worry about that. The job itself though... I might want to brush my Equestrian Etiquette. Luckily, Twilight has a book on that."

"Uh huh." She sounded thoroughly unconvinced. She just walked off with a knowing look on her face. "Alright then. Just don't take too long, okay?"

"I won't. Promise."

"Let's see... Say hello, concise yet concrete introduction, example..." He was browsing through a hefty tome in the library. Who knew there were so many rules to social interaction? No wonder he had so much trouble talking to the townsponies. "So, how was your old man?"

Yesterday, the reason why the library was closed was because Twilight went back home to come check on her dad. Apparently he had been hospitalized for cucumber allergies.

"He's okay, if a little itchy. Other than that, there was just a little wheezing. I'm more worried about the waiter who accidentally gave him the wrong order. Dad said he doesn't plan on suing, but I can't imagine the waiter's boss being very lenient with that kind of mistake. Or that it will look very well on his resume."

"Huh... note to self, double check order before placing it, should they ever reconsider hiring me at the local restaurant. Glad to hear he's okay." He continued browsing through his book.

"Thanks. And sorry again for having the library closed so often... Tell you what. If there's anything you might want from here, you could just go ahead and borrow it now."

"Oh, ugh..."

"...And don't worry about a library card. I can let it slide this time. Just return it before long, okay?"

"Wow. Really? You sure you don't mind?"

"Yes, I'm sure. But, again, only this time. Next time, I expect you to have already found a job."

"Roger that. I will make sure to return your books in tip top, and in a timely fashion."

"And?" Twilight asked expectantly, a semi-strict look on her face.

"... And, I'll be off in a little while to look for that job."

She nodded and smiled back. This was the second time he read this book. Only this time, he decided to give one of Twilight's previously given advices a try. She insisted that reading more slowly, paying attention to every detail, might prove a lot more fruitful than his usual implementation of his "photographic memory", as she'd assumed it to be.

Apparently she diagnosed him with Eidetic memory. A brain disorder which, in most cases, causes the patient to experience bouts of extreme depression, as well as trouble interacting in social environments.

Welp, she's not that far from the truth, I guess. And the Doctor certainly doesn't mind having an alibi.

Of course, she was wrong. And reading the book her way proved nothing more than a waste of time. Either he gulps the whole thing down, or clenches his teeth and sips it slowly, the end result doesn't change. It's just that in the latter case, every sip becomes more and more tedious to swallow. You can only savor a good book for so long, and this one wasn't explicitly savory to begin with.

"So..." she started. "Anything happened lately?"

Well, there's the zebra that told him about the end of the world. Of course, he'd rather not mention that.

"...No. Normal couple of days, save for the storm. You?"

"Well, I had my first slumber party last night."

"Really? Did you have fun?"

"Yeah..." She recalled the tree coming through her bedroom window. Good thing she had that repair spell handy. Hoofy. Handy. "It was... eventful."

He was trying to avoid going on his usual prattling he does with her. She's starting to know too much. Then again, it wasn't like it mattered anymore. His main reason to keep her in the dark was because he was afraid of how Celestia might react once she found out about him. Apparently, she reacted quite tamely. So now, the only reason he had left to keep her in the dark was because of the little detective game they had going on.

Every visit, they would talk about various scientific subjects, excluding magical theory. They would both love each other's company, but to be fair, there would be no small amount of poking and prodding. From Twilight, questions that didn't seem to mean anything at first glance, but which she wanted to use to force him into a corner. From the Doctor, tales that forced the librarian to think, and maybe question her loyalties. He also asked his own fair share of questions, checking if maybe there were certain elements of her judgment that didn't add up, which would point to the possibility that she was under the effects of mind control after all, even if he couldn't detect any tampering. Any cowboys.

He did meet Celestia, and he did emerge unscathed. But he had yet to be fully convinced of her character. Her behavior last night was just a little bit on the convenient side.

Subterfuge aside, the Time Lord and librarian got along wonderfully. In a nutshell, they were two eggheads engaging in debates either scientific, philosophical, sociological, historical, geographical, geological... mycological... anything. Anything but magical.

At any rate. She developed a unique respect for him, one which she never experienced before. Rivalry.

He had already proven himself to be quite skilled at lying. None of her psychology texts helped her corner him, none of her criminal investigation fiction gave her the required edge to breach through his walls of deceit. This pony was more than a challenge for her, or a learning experience. He was her respected rival. Her Mareiarty. Though, you know, only male, unlike the famous antagonist.

They'd often lose themselves in debates. On one occasion, the sun had reached setting before either even noticed. If it wasn't for Spike's pointing out the late hour, then the Doctor would've gotten in a bit of trouble. But that was only because what she had to say was, indeed, much, much more than interesting. She hadn't even mentioned that she was the Princess' protégé, or that she was the main wielder of some manner of mystical, ancient artifacts. No, those things he learned from Ditzy and Spike respectively. He'd asked the student to let him take a look at these famed, evil-pony-rehabilitating baubles before, but apparently they're back in Canterlot.

The only parts of their conversations, the parts he'd initially steer to intentionally then back up out of immediately and in great haste, would be the subjects of magic. He never liked her explanations with that in regard. That was why he asked for the Elements, to study them and figure out their exact workings and functionalities. And every time he asked, she'd refuse categorically, instead referring to her books on magic, every time certain that they were enough and that he was just being stubborn.

If unicorn horns acted as conduits, an amplifier like the Elements would offer him another field of knowledge to cross-reference with. Which he was certain would reveal a great deal. Heck, he might even be able to fashion a battery for this energy, for him to experiment with.

"Regarding your elements... Are you sure I couldn't have a gander at them?"

"For the last time." The unicorn rolled her eyes. "I doubt the Princess would consider having them for display at a museum, and I much less expect her to just let anypony have a look at them for no good reason."

"No good reason? I beg to differ, Twilight! You of all people must acknowledge the importance of research."

"It's ponies, not people. And of course I do! I just don't know what you'd hope to find out that isn't already covered in the books here. Maybe you should have a more thorough look through them?"

"Ugh... Must we do another quiz?"

"That's not what I meant. Although we still could..."

"Maybe later, dear, I have a headache. What did you mean, then?"

She didn't seem to notice his rather lewd jest. "I meant that I don't know what exactly you're looking for. You went through all the books we have here, and for whatever reason, you still weren't satisfied!"

"They were all scripts on practical research. What I want is a more thorough, theoretical description. Everyone here is content with just knowing that it works. All I want to know is why it works! Less how's and more why's!"

She put a hoof to her chin, then walked over to a certain shelf of the library. "...Then maybe you weren't looking in the right place."

After a short look over the titles, she pulled out two in particular with her magic, and passed them over to him.

"Starswirl's Dilemma, by Clover the Clever? Twin volumes?"

"You said you want to know why magic works. Starswirl tried to find that out, but failed. His disciple, Clover the Clever, tried to make an essay out of his master's notes and theories, but he didn't get that much farther either. This is as theoretical as it gets. Actually, Starswirl exhausted the theory part. Clover just tried looking for more information elsewhere. If you're really as fascinated as you're making it out to be, then these are what you're looking for."

"Why didn't I find these before?"

"Because they weren't in the magic section. They were in philosophy."

"...So..."

"I did say Clover looked in other places."

Oh well, might as well give it a try. He could use a good couple books for his following nights.

Then there was an extremely silent knock at the front door. The Doctor's ears perked up and faced the sound's source direction.

"I think there's someone at the door..." as he started going through the first volume.

"Really? I didn't hear anything.."

Opening the door, she found none other than a certain cream colored pegasus, who had already turned around to leave. Honestly. How does she manage anything at all, being so shy all the time?

"Fluttershy?" she inquired, gaining her attention.

"Oh! Ugh... hi."

"Come in! How are your animals?

"They're better, actually. Thanks to the Doctor."

"Really? What did he do?" She closed the door behind them.

From his table, he answered Twilight's question without even looking up from his book. "Nothing much, really. Just talked to them."

His retort was followed by a short pause.

"...You talked to her animals?" Twilight asked back, standing stock still in bewilderment.

"Yeah. They were... worried. About the..." he pondered a lie, "storm. Yeah, that's right." as he hid himself deeper into his book.

"...For about a week before it started?"

He shrugged. "I'm just as confused as you are. Maybe they smelled it beforeha... uhg, in advance. But as to why they were so agitated about it... your guess is as good as mine."

He'd very much rather not worry them unnecessarily with warnings of a bloodthirsty beast which was very likely of an equine variety. He already knew about a mysterious stranger working in the background. He suspected it might be him again, the Hooded Pony. But as for the reason why a bloodthirsty monster would help him out the night he arrived on this world, the Doctor was at a loss. Multiple Personality Disorder? Anyway. He didn't expect Fluttershy to be much help, even if he wanted to involve her further in these conspiracy theories. Nor did he want to waste the little rabbit's efforts to save her heart. Even if he was kind of a prick.

Twilight shook her head and decided to focus on her new guest as well. "Please, take a seat."

"Well, okay. As long as you don't mind..." She took off her saddlebag and settled across the table from the Doctor, which had closed his book in favor of paying her attention.

"Of course I don't mind, silly. I'd like to know more about what happened. There could've been any number of things to scare them... What exactly was it that they were doing?"

The Doctor was about to answer in Fluttershy's stead, even though he noticed the question being directed at her. But the cream pegasus decided to beat him to it on purpose.

"Uhm, they wouldn't tell me much either. They'd just act so scared and edgy for whatever reason... I'm actually really glad you came by when you did. My animals seemed to be even more worried last night than ever! And there wasn't anything I could do to calm them down..."

"They were expecting something to happen last night. Nothing did. They were worrying over nothing, and now they're probably embarrassed." He considered it best to finish this conversation before they find out something they don't have to.

His retort managed to pacify their curiosity. Now, he decided to focus their attention on something else. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Oh! I forgot..." as she went through her saddlebag, to produce a book. "I came here to give you this book, Twilight. I'm not using it anymore, anyway..."

Twi had a look and checked. It was her order that Ditzy showed her yesterday. "That's very... kind of you, Fluttershy. You sure you won't be needing it any more?"

"My shelves have plenty of books to pick from. This one was very interesting to read last night... before bed. Eep! Not that I found it tiresome or anything, it's just that, well, it might be a bit on the... advanced side for me? So many theories and elaborations... I never even knew about some of the creatures described in it before myself!"

"That's because most of them are either from far-off lands, or very rare. You won't find any wyverns or basilisks in the Everfree, those are in their respective lands, far away from Equestria."

"I wouldn't want to seem rude, but... I'm glad to know that they're so far away."

"Hehe, you and me both. Cockatrices might be their lesser cousins, but they're more than enough trouble on their own... Anyway, I don't know what to say, Fluttershy. Thank you. This will make a great addition to the library."

The Doctor was very attentive at what the two mares were saying. This book sounded quite interesting. "...Mind if I... take a look?"

Twi smirked. "Should I add this into your bag as well?"

He drooped his ears and head. "...If it's not too much trouble?" with a sheepish smile.

So that's four books. Should hold him for at least a night.

A few more minutes of conversation, mostly between the girls. He eventually had enough and decided to take his leave. "It's been fun, girls, really. But if I want to catch that job, I'd best be off. Thanks again for the books, Twilight."

"You're welcome, Doctor. Good luck!"

And he left, with a paper bag hanging around his neck.

He was thankful, really. Such a nice race, such friendly people! He'd wish he could repay them somehow. Maybe get a job as a tinkerer or something, replace their gas lamps with electric ones, or at least a few clockwork thingamagigs. But in order to do that, he'd need to buy a shop first. He already looked into their loan offers, and suffice to say their banking system is near to nonexistent. Thankfully...

Another good thing about this world, and that was the complete lack of bankers and lawyers. At least, as far as he'd noticed. It was a good compromise, something they'd apparently decided to go without just as well. He couldn't stress enough how much that relieved him.

Of course, one of those compromises included him not being able to start a job from scratch. Since, you know, no money readily available at any given moment. But it was no problem, he just needs to try harder. Find someone willing to see his potential and talents...

Unfortunately, no restaurant needed a waiter that could solve x in a twelfth grade equation. And his social skills always left something to be desired around here. Hopefully today he'd have more luck.

He was well within Ponyville proper by the time something odd happened. A pink blur rushed in front of him, together with a flustering headache, to his relative surprise. As soon as his eyes adjusted, he knew what was to blame.

The source of the visual disturbance was Pinkie Pie, and that of his physical discomfort was whatever it is about her that kept giving him a headache. He'd resorted to calling it paradox energy.

Pinkie was dragging some cart thing along with her. Which had a button. She pressed the button, and then...

And then a paradox punched him in the back of his face.

She started singing for whatever reason.

"Merry belated welcome! So far how was your stay?
You've been around for quite some time, I hope it was okay!
So sorry 'bout the delay! I guess it was a while!
But Pinkie's welcome wagon's here to welcome you to Ponyville!..."

...He was not sure, but between the party noisemakers, the party hat which she put on his head, and the countless flags waving around with the word "welcome" written on them, he believed that she might've been trying to welcome him to Ponyville, in song.

It was... catchy, at any rate. But he was curious as to why no one else was paying them any attention. The locals in his near proximity were just passing by, chatting, like this happened every other day. He didn't even earn more than a passing glance from two, maybe three ponies?

So, then, he was left to deal with this situation on his own.

The song continued for a few more verses, and it ended with her doing a power slide while stretching the last words.
"Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville todaaaaaay... wait for it..."
And then confetti shot out of the cart's pipes, and a cake shot forward into his lap.
"Got it right that time!"

"Uh huh..."

Pinkie was ecstatic. The Doctor was... whelmed.

"Well? Did you like my song? I modified it a bit, because you're the first pony I've ever not notice when he/she arrived in town immediately, so I changed it to sing about how you've actually been in town for more than a week already!..."

"Uh huh..." He remembered her telling him last time they spoke, that she tends to run her mouth a lot around new ponies.

"...was extra careful to put the cake mix in the oven and the confetti in the confetti shooters this time! Which is kind of a big deal, though not that big a deal, but I do sometimes make the mistake of swapping the cake mix out with the confetti, and that's never fun. Although the mix is still tasty, but it's still not as good as when it'd..."

"Uh huh..." she's just going on and on... he feels like he should try to stop her, but then again it might be better to just let her get it all on the outside already, lest she'd just go on these tangents later on.

"...name is pretty funny. Though not funny in a fun way. Well, I guess it's a little funny. Especially if someone were to call out your name in a hospital! Doctor! Which one? <laughing and snorting>"

"...Charming."

"Thanks! I don't think I've ever been called charming before. I've been called a lot of different things until now, though. I've been called loud, or tiresome, or sometimes even weird! But usually everypony just calls me Pinkie! They've even made a thing, where they decided to just explain my weird behavior in general with me just being Pinkie! And I never really understood why, I mean, aren't they making a tautology? Anyway, my name's pretty funny too, I guess. Isn't it funny that my entire family never really liked baking pies, but I love making them? You'd think that we'd be called something that would more accurately..."

At this point, the alien stallion started to genuinely wonder how she was managing to keep talking. How was she not running out of air?

...He supposed that maybe he should try to stop her before she hurt herself. Or before she got to how she got her cutesy-bum-mark. Whichever came first.

"...but then they didn't look too happy about it, but then they really WERE happy about it! And I was so happy that I managed to make my family happy with a party! And we all danced, and played games, and laughed..."

"Wait..."

"I don't think I've ever heard my ma and pa laugh like that before!"

"Hold it."

"...And I didn't even notice when my cutie mark appeared during the party! We were all having so much fun!"

"Hooold it!"

"Okay."

And just like that, she stopped everything she was doing. Completely anticlimactic on her part.

With a suppressed sigh, he ignored her curious actions. "Look. I appreciate the thought, and the effort. But I honestly don't mind you not noticing me arrive! I wasn't exactly trying to attract attention to myself either..."

Between him being paranoid of being found out by a creature which was widely considered to be a god, and going on extended intellectual discussions with said potentially tyrannical ruler's protege which most likely mentioned him in a couple letters by now...

"Anyway, your little show really was pretty... fun, to watch. If a little tiresome... But now I have something very important to ask you, Pinkie Pie. It is imperative that you answer me this question truthfully. Do you understand?"

"Okay. What is it?"

"What, is in this cake?"

She's a very friendly pony. To avoid saying anything else. She's actually too friendly for him to handle, and all of her friendliness and eagerness don't make up for the headache she's giving him.

Normally, time is his thing. He knows what smell the date has, he knows when someone's messing around with time, paradoxes radiate queasiness and anything that should not exist simply infuriates him. Like a bull seeing red. Whatever's wrong with Pinkie, though, has nothing to do with time. His headache is simply unlike anything he's ever felt before. He's not queasy, or angry, or dizzy... He just feels physically wrong. Although, he's seen a lot of wrong things in his life. Temporal paradoxes only offer a physical, spacial anomaly which he can't perceive, but he still knows it's wrong. Maybe it's by association, or he actually gained a sense regarding how meeting your future/past self is wrong.

Wrong, as in, being turned upside down on your head. It's not necessarily welcome, but it's not something you're necessarily going to go insane about in anger and indignation.

However, Pinkie is another story. If a paradox is like being turned upside down on your head, then having Pinkie Pie around is like being held in a cage, watching sharks swim nearby. You know you're safe, that there's no feasible way they could harm you, but that doesn't help your pounding heart much at all.

It's only a mare! One that's defying the laws of physics like in a childish cartoon. And for all he knows, something so reckless is never good. No. A paradox is reckless, this is just stupid!

I know, you might've expected him of all people to be more lenient regarding strange things. And he really is. He's only going to look at Pinkie and think that whatever helped ponykind develop so well just happens to be well within her ability to manipulate without any problem. It's just to what extent these talents can be used that simply terrifies him, and to what extent these abilities defy all rationality that he finds infuriating.

Heh. He never knew himself to be such a stick-in-the-mud before. Not even in his third incarnation... "Oh dear... I hope I'm not going through another midlife crisis again." he mumbles to himself.

"What's that, Doc?" Pinkie asked him back, idly bouncing by.

"Nothing."

"Again? Boy, you sure like saying nothing a lot, don't you, Doc?-"

"-And once more, I ask you. Mind not shortening my name like that?"

"Okie dokie, Lokie! Ugh, I mean Doctor! Hey, that's not a bad idea actually! Is it Loki?"

"No."

She's been trying to guess his name ever since they started walking towards Ditzy's place for him to drop off his books.

"Chestnut Hourglass?"

"No."

And she's yet to relent.

"Timmy Turner?"

"No."

Apparently, she has a wide array of ideas.

"Oakenstride? Minute Bark? Clockwork Brown?"

"No, no and no."

She had apparently gotten the idea that his entire identity must be decided around the fact that his fur is chestnut and he has an hourglass on his side. Honestly, how does this society even manage to work, let alone thrive? Are there certain ponies that develop a liking for shoveling recess out of outhouse pits? Do they pay farm pigs for that? It would explain their purpose, at least. That they actually are not grown for their meat, but they just like living in conglomerations. It's not unheard of for the Doctor.

"Sir Prancelot?"

"No... what? No! Look, I honestly don't know why you insist on finding out my name. I've already introduced myself as the Doctor, why do you need anything else?"

"I don't! And nopony else needs to know. But everypony is curious as to why you can't give your name. And it's kind of hard to trust somepony when he doesn't give you his real name. Why can't you give your name?"

"A number of reasons, actually..." he answered evenly.

He'd tell her what those reasons entail, but he remembered what 'cover' Ditzy had given him. He could tell Pinkie that his name, should it ever be revealed, could change the universe for far, far worse. At least his original universe. But instead, he decided to cover his landlady's back.

"What reasons?" her smile already faltered.

"Personal reasons." as the house came into view.

"Why are they personal?" a tint of annoyance in her voice.

"Because shut up."

"That's mean." she pouted.

"You're being nosy."

"I'm only trying to help you fit in!"

"Should I lie about my name being something normal to you folk, like Time Turner or Oakenstride? Would that be any better?"

"No! Well, not really... It's not nice to lie to ponies!"

As he opened the door and helped himself inside, getting his bag off. "Neither is forcing someone to say something he doesn't want to. Honestly, you're all making such a big fuss over nothing. Thirsty?" As he left for the kitchen.

"...Not really." she followed a couple feet behind.

"Okay." he went over, reached for an empty glass, then reconsidered halfway and grabbed the nearby wooden bowl instead. Which he filled up at the sink. "Don't mind me, then."

No, they don't have indoor plumbing. But every house has an individual water reserve.

She sneaked a peek at his books. 'Of Monsters and Magic', 'Starswirl's Dilemma'... she never pictured him for a bookworm. 'Equestrian Etiquette'?

"I'm having trouble getting along with the other townsponies." he surprised her.

He spoke from the doorway of the kitchen. He noticed her looking through his stuff. "Obviously, not being able to give anyone a satisfactory name might have something to do with that. It's certainly not making it any easier for me to get a job either."

"Oh. Ugh..."

"I really can't tell you my name. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't. Do you understand?"

Her hair was slightly deflated again upon hearing that. She looked away. "Okay then..."

He didn't like seeing her like that. Seeing her upset, it was just so wrong. Like, genuine wrong, not upside down wrong.

Before he could say anything, though, she started again. Hair puffed and beaming with joy as before. "Ooh! I can help you find a job!"

Again, he only managed to give her a bewildered look, before she pulled him by the hoof, out of the house, all the way into the middle of town square. In less that three seconds.

He felt like he'd just gone through a wormhole. His eyes were spinning around in their sockets.

"Normally, the townsponies are pretty reserved and shy around newcomers. But with me vouching for you, I'm sure we'll find you a job in no time!" the pink mare declared confidently.

"That... is actually very reassuring, Pinkie. Brilliantly so, even.." He shook his head a couple times, somehow that was quite effective at getting his eyes to settle. "Are you sure you're not too busy, though?"

"What? Of course not! I always have time to help a pony in need! Now let's see..."

She looked around. Stalls everywhere, ponies buying and selling their produce. Carrot Top with her carrots and tomatoes, of course she'd need help with her bustling business. But she already has someone helping her out.

"How about Roseluck?" the pink mare proposed, pointing towards the cream mare with rose hair.

"Oh... She sells flowers, right? I already tried that."

"Oh... That's right. You really upset Lucky Clover, didn't you?"

"I couldn't help it!" he burst out in a panic. "It was just taking so long, I was beyond bored! I had a lapse in judgment for only a few moments and before I knew it, I was already going through the produce I was supposed to sell." His demeanor got even worse as he recalled the event. "And the look on my employer's face when he saw what I was doing... No man should ever go through something like that..."

"Cheer up, Doc! I'm sure he already forgot all about it." Her attempts to calm him down were appreciated, to a degree. "...Anyway, I suppose that getting you a job as a salespony would be a bad idea, then?"

"I suppose. I really can't handle long periods of inactivity. I can't even handle short periods of inactivity!"

"Really? Me too!"

Yeah, well, at least they have something in common then. She can't stop bouncing around, most likely because of her heavily sweet diet. Similarly, he's also hyperactive, but out of other reasons.

You try being patient when your processing speed is ten times faster. To him, everything is going at an agonizingly slow pace. And that's not even considering his Time Lord awarenesses.

Also, fun fact. Gallifreyans have such a thing as a norm, a normal life. They're a society, they have farmers and teachers and brokers... But they also have their specific entertainment, enough to help even them unwind. Now, consider the fact that none of that was enough to satisfy him. That he needed to leave from there, to travel. Not because it was too slow for him. It's just that for whatever reason, he couldn't have a normal life even there.

Now you might have an idea as to why he's feeling like he's going insane around here.

He didn't comment on her retort. Instead, he found something more noteworthy to comment on. "...So his name is Lucky Clover? Any relation to Roseluck?"

"Oh, no! That would be silly! It would be like assuming that you and Derpy were married just because both your last names were kinda similar. Although you two do live together... Everypony in town knows you're just lending a room out, but you know..."

"Wait. Who's assuming what now?"

"Derpy Hooves, Doctor Whooves? It is kind of odd, don't you think?"

"Hold on..." even with his advanced brain, shock can still impede his ability to process especially surprising new data. How in the Blue Blazes(*) did this rumo... oh right. Rumors.

He's starting to get why Ditzy was so adamant on pointing out how unlikeable they can get.

"...People think we're married?" He deadpanned. "Seriously?!"

"Of course not, silly! No one really thinks that. Derpy is just a nickname, after all... and you've yet to share your name, so we just kind of made up a second name for you."

"Huh..."

"It's all in good fun, really. Everypony likes to gossip, and you two did leave a lot to gossip about, especially after you've been seen a couple nights ago on that date. It's just that, sometimes ponies get ahead of themselves, you know?"

"As in, they tend to make things up, and say they're true?"

"Well, when you put it that way..."

He was putting it that way. He was putting it the hell out of it that way. And it was wearing down on her good mood.

She doesn't like thinking badly about her friends (all of Ponyville's townsponies are her friends), but she does have to admit that there is a disturbing trend that they like to keep. That if somepony doesn't confirm or deny something right away, then their version is definitely true by default. Like, for instance, what they're doing with Zecora right now. Troubling, though, that some of the gossipers don't even bother to confirm their assumptions before spreading them.

...Like with Zecora. And with Ditzy, regarding her clumsiness and the origin of her eye problem.

"...They don't mean to hurt anypony."

"No, but they don't mind completely ignoring the fact that it's precisely what they're doing."

Her hair deflated again, as he expected. He didn't like making someone like Pinkie upset, but such topics weren't something he'd be able to ignore easily.

He sighed apologetically. "Oh well, suppose you can't help it."

Okay, apparently he's making a habit of turning conversations awkward. He needs to work on that...

"...How about that guy over there?" he points towards a stallion setting up his stand. He was pretty meager looking.

"Oh, you mean Caramel? I don't know. You want to try farm work?"

"Well, it'd certainly beat sitting at a stand all day."

"Okay then. Let's go ask him."

The caramel-coated pony was busy loading his produce on display. As soon as he loaded one of his crates, he noticed two ponies had suddenly appeared behind him, looking at him tentatively, smilingly.

He got startled, almost dropping the crate he was holding with his foreleg.

Pinkie started first. "Hey, Caramel!"

"Oh, hey Pinkie..." he tried to sound as cheerful and sociable as she was, over his own social anxiety. She decided not to pay heed to his shortcomings.

"I'd like you to meet the Doctor here! He's new in town and we were wondering if you might want to hire him for work on your farm!"

"Oh. Well, nice to meet you, Doctor." as he offered his hoof for a shake.

"Pleasure is mine." he answered, giving him a hoof bump instead, without a second thought. "I hope it doesn't seem like we're chiding you or anything, but I really could use something to do for a while. At least until I get my bearings. Nothing too outstanding, just enough to pay for rent and living expenses. As long as you would need the help, that is."

"Well, it does seem very reasonable, but I really don't need any help, or anything. At least not for now. Maybe during harvesting season, though, but that's not for another month... Maybe you could try at Applejack's? Her crop should be close to bearing its second series of fruit by now..."(**)

"...Okay then, apples it is. Thanks for the help... But now, where is this... Apple character you've mentioned?"

Pinkie was beaming beside him. Took him a while to notice, and by then he was already at the farm, reeling from another wormhole-ish experience.

When he came to, first thing he noticed was an orange-coated mare with blond hair and a Stetson hat, looking curiously at him, before he noticed his surroundings. He was in an apple orchard, a really big one. The apple trees bore big, red, savory fruit, ripe for the picking.

The orange mare addressed his pink friend first. "Hey there, Pinkie. Who's yer friend?" She had a country accent. Very charming.

"Hi, AJ! This is the Doctor!" Declared Pinkie.

The country mare reacted to that phrase in acknowledgement. "The Doctor? The one you've been mentionin' yesterday?"

"Mmm-hmm!" the pink mare nodded in response.

She then gave him a brief look over. "So, new in town?"

"For about a week now, yeah. I take it AJ stands for..." What was her name again? Apple... "Apple Hoist?"

"Jack, actually. It's Applejack. And from what Ah've heard, you're not really a medical doctor, are ya?"

"...Yes, that's just what people call me."

"Oh, really? And who would these people be, if ya don't mind my askin'?"

His first reaction was to look rather distressed, then irritated. He looked away and answered, "Plenty of people.", dejectedly.

"Heh! Okay then, Doc. So, what brings ya to this fine neck o' the woods? No doubt ya've heard of our famous apple farm and thought to take a look fer yerself?"

"Oh, well, actually..."

"We wanted to check if you might want to hire help for working on the farm!" Pinkie cut him off.

"That so?"

"Well, yes." The Doctor answered, fixing the hyperactive pink pony beside him with a look. "I've been looking around town for work ever since I've arrived, with not much luck."

"Hold on a sec. You've been lookin' for a week and haven't found anything? You sure you weren't just too lazy fer anypony else to wan ta hire ya?"

"No, it had nothing to do with laziness. All it had to do with was either my trouble interacting with the locals, or my inability to stay put all day as a storekeeper."

A smile crept on the farmpony's face. "Alrighty then. Let's see how well yer word's hold up 'gainst yer work."

"You mean you'll hire me?" A smile crept on his face.

"No, what Ah mean is that Ah'm gonna let ya show me that yer worth hirin'. We make a livin' off of applebuckin around here, and we're not gonna hire just any ol' slouch ta help us out."

"...Applebucking?"
You're dead serious.

Author's Notes:

Why, yes. She is, indeed, quite mortally earnest.

(*) Yes, it's a thing.
(**) Because only one harvesting season is bullshit. How are you going to feed an entire herbivorous civilization year-round with just one gain per crop? How are you going to sustain any kind of civilization with perishable fields that only yield once a year, and get eaten by bugs unless you spray them with toxic chemicals that hurt the environment and ruin the taste?