My Little Tactics

Chapter Thirty Five: Country Roads.

The train was rather soothing as it padded along. The buffalo were happy to be left alone, and those that were coming were put up in the cargo hold for the trip. The trek back through the desert was more peaceful then what it took to get to Ifrit’s Cavern which was now what that location was called. Dustan was tired, the heat had sapped all of his strength and though it was a lot less than before, he still found he had no energy to do anything. This was fine with everyone else as well letting him take a back seat considering he had won the Esper’s challenge.

Because of that, Dustan had a few days to consider things. Sure he liked pushing himself and testing his limits in friendly combat, but Ifrit was a whole other beast to himself. Even now thinking about the Esper standing in front of him was enough to make him shake. He had tried to be friendly and talk to all those wishing to talk to him during the trip back, but it must have been clear that he had a lot on his mind as eventually they all stopped, even Dash.

‘Do I really want to keep fighting?’ Looking down at his hand, the one that couldn’t feel anything Dustan continued to muse to himself. ‘Maybe its time I did like I thought. Maybe I should hang it all up, study my magic some more, teach, govern more actively, things like that. Sure I will still spar to keep me in shape but honestly, do I want to continue doing this.’

Unhooking his cloak and looked at it, it was tattered, worn, and had very thin spots that were verging on becoming holes in some places. Stitch marks were crisscrossing in some places where he had repaired the cloak and there was even one patch where he had to fix a large hole from when he had found a stray goblin in the Everfree and it had tried to shoot him with a bow. It was likely the last goblin from the slave camp that had been managing to hide out in the forest for so long, only to meet its end at his hands.

‘So many things have died to me, Ifrit even said if I had been a bit faster I would have killed him. HIM an ESPER for fuck’s sake. I thought those things were neigh immortal! Or at least the games always made them out to be.’ Looking at the cloak and closing his eyes for a moment Dustan sighed before opening them once more. ‘Plus, let’s face it. From what I have read or at least skimmed over, no Displaced makes it back home. I think it’s time I make peace with that. I think when I get back, after getting the buffalo settled in and taking a good long rest, I will have Rarity make me a new cloak. Maybe I will put the new Luminary symbol I sent home on it?’

There was some comfort thinking about things like that and also a sadness. A sadness that must have been palpable as Rainbow Dash shook him and looked at him curiously. She didn’t need to say anything but it was clear what she wanted to say.

“Hey, are you alright?” The unsaid question from her asked.

Giving a smile he chuckled and gave her head a pat. “Yeah, just thinking about things and finally settling some things in my mind. Somber thoughts but I should be better in a few days after I have had time to rest.”

“You sure?” Clearly the pegasus wasn’t quite convinced but didn’t feel the need to push further when he nodded in assurance. “Ok then. If you ever need to talk there are so many of us willing to listen. Me and my friends of course, Merlene, is always willing to listen to you if you just asked.”

“I know, and that thought alone helps more then you know Dash.” Giving a pat once more he leaned back and heard a rip. “Speaking of help, you could give me some right now by heading out and letting me change. I think I might also try giving going armorless and weaponless a try for once. Need to learn to stop carrying them around all the time anyways.” The wonderbolt hopeful smiled and nodded before heading out giving him the time he needed. As Dustan stripped and pulled out a new set of clothing, stowing away his ‘utility belt’ as well as his weapon and armor a thought came to mind. ‘I will need to do this anyways sometime, why not now when I am looking to finally retire.’

Eventually Dustan redressed in his Battle Boots, a plain pair of black jeans that Rarity had made, as well as a plain white T-shirt before throwing his cloak back on, and his feather pendant that he had received on Hearth’s Warming. For a bit he debated whether to put the cloak back on at all or if he should put it in with his gloves along with everything else. That choice was made for him as they got closer to Ponyville and Dustan recognize the tale tell pattern of pitter patter signaling that it was raining.

Opening the door and letting Rainbow Dash know he was clear she came back in and looked him over. “Wow, not going to lie, its kinda weird not seeing you without your gear on.”

Nodding in agreement he moved his hand to where his swords should be. “I know, I feel naked without them and my armor, but got to get used to that.”

“I still don’t understand your hang up about wearing clothing all the time. I mean us ponies, griffons, minotaurs, and more all go around as we are.” The pegasus stated as she plopped herself back down on the seat while Dustan took a seat on the cot.

“We have no fur Dash, we are really susceptible to the natural elements like heat and cold. Clothing helps alleviate that, and growing up humans historically developed the subconscious need to have clothing on for society so it became taboo for a few reasons to be undressed in public.” He explained, not the best explanation sure but it was the quickest one he could do that was somewhat accurate.

“I mean, I can kinda get that, but still. That makes humans sound weird or prudish, not sure which.” She rubbed her chin as she had a thought before suddenly looking at him. “Not going to lie, all the secrecy also makes me want to see what is under all the wrapping you know?”

Giving her a deadpan stare and in a flat tone told her. “No. Plus you and the girls have already seen everything when you all barged in on me bathing, more than once I may add, or in the middle of changing, or in the hospital, or when I am sleeping.”

“Ok one, I said I was sorry.” She told him plainly.

“No you didn’t.” Dustan replied quickly.

Giving a sheepish grin she rubbed the back of her head. “Well I thought it. Anyways the other times were you already with clothing or hurt. Also you sleep naked?”

The train gave a loud whistle to signal that it was pulling up to the station for Ponyville now, and hearing that Dustan grabbed his bag. “Oh would you look at that, lets continue this conversation never.” He stated as he started to head out.

Dustan waited at the opening for all those getting off, namely Rainbow Dash and all the Buffalo but was surprised when the flapping of wings and the landing of paws and claws signaled the arrival of his personal guard. “Lord Warner. Welcome back.” Merlene stated as she gave a bow before quirking an eyebrow at him. “Is everything ok, where are your weapons and armor?”

Give a rustle to his pack to call attention to it he stated. “In here. Trying to go without them and get used to it.”

Nodding at his words she still had a slightly confused look to her face. “Ok, I can understand but are you sure this is wise?”

Shrugging Dustan chuckled and then looked to the buffalo. “Anyways follow me and Merlene here and we will lead you to the ca-”

“DUSTAN!” A familiar voice called to him as he sighed wondering what else was up. The purple mage that was Twilight Sparkle was the one that had called him and was currently galloping towards him with Spike on her back. “I am so glad you are back. I want you to come over to the library, I have something exciting to share with you and I need your help with something, not in that order. No wait, I guess it kind of would be in that order.”

‘I just want to go home and get the buffalo settled in then to take a nap.’ Rubbing his head and then his eyes he looked to Merlene and tossed her his pack. “Take this to the castle please and the buffalo. I am not sure how long this will take but I will try to be back quickly.”

“Yes Lord Warner. As per your instructions we have been setting up a place for them though more spacious housing won’t be constructed for another three or so weeks.” She explained then motioned to the sky. “There was a sudden request for rain and it should be happening all this week.”

Another reason he wanted to hurry things up. “Right, get them somewhere dry and see if they are hungry as it should be dinner time.” Turning to Twilight he motioned for her to lead the way.

“Why would they schedule rain so soon? I am going to go find out.” The lead weathermare told them as she took off.

As they were walking the enthusiastic look upon Twilight’s face faded as she looked at the residential human. “Is everything ok? You look worn out.”

“That is because I am worn out Twilight. The desert was a real struggle in some ways, I have to help the buffalo settle in which is a bit of a story all its own, and I was hoping to be able to rest up before I have to leave for Canterlot in two days to give my report to Celestia and Luna.”

While the human was looking at her, he could see her ears folding back showing that she was either worried or sad she was doing this now before Spike chimed up. “Don’t worry about that, remember Twilight we sent that letter to the Princess telling her what we had planned.”

The book pony then perked back up and smiled. “That is right, you have a bit of time before you go back since you are helping me with this. So the report isn’t needed until we are done with it.”

That was a bit of a relief to him but at the same time worrisome if it meant helping out Twilight in whatever she had going on, speaking of which. “So what do you need my help with?”

They walked to the front door of the Golden Oaks Library as she stepped in. Quickly using some magic to dry them all off Twilight grabbed her saddle bags and pulled out a weird device, a type of small sliding box that had what almost looked like a display on the front, a note pad that was FULL of notes that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend, along with a piece of parchment along with an inkwell and quill. Whatever Twilight was doing was research intensive and if it meant he was here, likely had to do with results she got from him during a test of some type or something involving humans she had been studying from his talks. If it was the latter he decided he would amuse her since likely he knew it would be a false lead.

Turning to him she smiled at him, the type of smile that someone gave when they were happy but needed something from you. “Can I get a couple of strands of your hair?”

Looking at her weirdly and then back to his hair, shoulder length now where he kept it cut he shrugged once more. “Go ahead, but don’t make me lopsided.” As she took a clipping he looked at his hair and mused. ‘I used to like keeping my hair short but stylists here in Ponyville don’t understand my meaning of short and keep it around this length anyways. No need to pay them for something I can do with some scissors when its just evening out the length in the back.’ Dustan always kept his hair brushed back so none went into his eyes anyways though he did muse to himself that he might need a trim since there were some spots that felt singed from Ifrit.

Twilight opened up the box, double checking that she cleaned it apparently as she swabbed it out with a clean cloth before placing the hair in it and closing it. Pressing a button on the side the front soon lit up with several strings of numbers that Dustan had no clue or meaning to what they could mean, though it seems Twilight did. Purple Smart quickly was writing down the numbers and double checking them each and every time.

Part way through recording them though, the brown haired human did hear her speak mostly to herself. “Strange and fascinating, the third string usually never changed before. Oh well, shouldn’t make a difference.” While he didn’t like the sound of that he had no time to process it as Twilight set Spike down. “Ok Spike, you are in charge until I get back ok?”

“Right.” He gave a salute and a smile as Twilight then motioned for Dustan to follow her as she lead him down into the basement.

Said basement looked to have seen better days as charts, boards and even desks were filled with more work and magical studies then he had seen anywhere, which was something considering he had walked in on Mystic in one of his rants as he had boards everywhere. Twilight herself was busy erasing something on a magical glyph that was on a slightly raised platform and was looking to her notes each and every time. When he tried to ask again what she was up to she told him she needed quiet to make sure everything is correct.

Shrugging and finding a place to lean against Dustan watched Twilight do her thing, till finally she came up and smiled. “Ok, stand up here with me please.”

“Ooookay.” Part of Dustan’s mind was giving him warning signals, saying Twilight was in one of her phases that he shouldn’t do anything she says but at the same time, it was Twilight. ‘Most harm she has ever caused was…ok never mind she actually has caused a lot of harm with her freak outs.’ As he stood on the circle Twilight put some items in her saddlebags including the notes and other objects as she came up to stand with him. “Um Twilight, what is going on. Also why would Spike need to watch the library?”

The unicorn lit up her horn and soon the glyph below them started to light up with her magical color as well growing brighter and brighter. “Oh, I have been working off of some research notes I purchased and found a way to make them work. See they are teleportation experiments and they are old but at the same time very revolutionary. With today’s advancements I am able to combine them and effectively make long range stable teleportation a reality.”

Blinking as that wasn’t part of the show at all though it was amazing. “That is incredible, that could revolutionize how anyone gets around. Trains might still be needed for large transport of cargo and things, but anyone could go to any city and since its teleportation its basically instant right?”

“Yes and I know right?!” The pony was practically vibrating as she got complemented. “I have already done local experiments with myself, even getting to Canterlot easily, though I need coordinates to be placed in the circle to actually work.” Frowning a bit she looked down. “The charging seems to be taking a lot longer than normal this time though.”

Tilting his head Dustan couldn’t help but ask. “Coordinates? How do ponies standardize those?”

“Oh we don’t have any standardize way that I know of. That is why I used that device. You see I can put a sample of anything in that and it locates the origin of the object and displays those origins in the form of numbers that I use as coordinates.” She must have seen his confusion as she chuckled. “The one I put your hairs into.”

Nodding in understanding he smiled. “Ahh gotcha.” Then realization hit him, one that had lots of possible ramifications. “Wait Twilight, did you just say you-”

The circle below them suddenly shimmered brighter and brighter. “Oh here we go!”

“WAIT TWIL-!” Dustan called but never would finish as with a sound of a pop they vanished.

It took some time but Rainbow Dash had finally gotten the paperwork she was looking for. A request for rain for this long at this time was unusual, sure it was Summer and all, but those requests usually didn’t come till later. Sitting down at her desk the weathermare looked over everything, from payment to the delivery of clouds, everything. It all checked out, though the amount of money thrown at things just for a simple shower didn’t check out.

“Why would somepony want rain to be happening now.” Suddenly there was a note that popped up as Dash turned the pages of the report. “What, weird that wasn’t there before.” Having already checked over this report a half dozen times the pegasus took the note. “Hmm let’s see.”

It was addressed to her it seems. “Dear Rainbow Dash. I am sorry about this, but the truth is, I needed you away from Dustan’s side for a bit. Twilight NEEDS to show him her experiment as it’s important. I understand your loyalty, but Dustan needs this and I spent too much effort and time to set it up for Twilight to research what she needs in order for it to happen. I am not doing this out of malice or even to be hurtful, I am strictly doing this to help him. I always regret having to do what I did and have been trying to make it up to him in ways that are small or unnoticeable but I can only do so much without being found out. The circumstances were now perfect but you leaving with him to find Ifrit was a bit unexpected, so I put in this request just because I knew you would come check it out right away when you got back and Ms. Sparkle being who she is would likely want Dustan’s attention right away. I hope you forgive me for this deception.”

Rainbow Dash didn’t like this note at all; it was too personal and too knowledgeable about Dustan as it read like whoever wrote this knew him personally. Getting up and having a bad feeling the pegasus quickly dove out of the window to her office and zoomed towards the library. Knocking on it Spike soon opened the door and let her in.

“Oh hey Rainbow Dash. What brings you here?” The small dragon asked her as she looked around.

“Is Dustan around or Twilight?” Zipping around high and low she looked for them quickly.

Only problem was there was no sign. “I mean if everything went well they should already be gone. But I suppose if not you can check the basement.”

She zipped to the door that lead to the underground area that she knew to be her friend’s lab and in there she found egghead writing everywhere but no signs of the two she was looking for. “Must have missed them.” Rubbing the back of her head, she started to fly back upstairs as she thought to herself. ‘Why would somepony named Humble Merchant, know Dustan?’

“Uggh.” Dustan moaned as he tried to lift himself off of the brick wall he was slumped against. Feels like he had been tossed down Mount Canterlot the way he felt. The pitter patter of rain was continuing though so it was obvious that somehow they were back outside. “Great, Twilight teleported us outside.”

As if mentioning her name out loud Dustan realized that she wasn’t next to him and quickly started to look around. Where ever he was he was in the alleyway between some buildings next to a dumpster a bit from the street, though luckily Dustan found a purple leg sticking out from behind a dumpster just out of sight and came up to check on her. She was pale, the coloring of her coat was off and she was out cold, right away the dread that she was dead came over him as he checked for a pulse. Relief quickly washed over him when he realized that she was still breathing and her heart was going.

Pulling off his cloak he wrapped her up in it to keep the rain off her. “One second Twilight, be right back.”

Though he wanted to pick her up and carry her, Dustan had no clue where they were as buildings like this weren’t in Ponyville at all. As the Ninja made his way out of the alleyway his heart leapt as something sped by in front of him splashing the sidewalk with water that had collected nearby. It was a metal box, that moved at rather quick speeds on a road of black carried by wheels made of equally black color. Looking around Dustan quickly realized where it was they were, and the realization brought him to his knees.

“Am I…home?” Dustan asked, tears being washed away by the rain. ‘That is Jack’s Pharmacy right there, and the Pizzeria where I used to work to make the best pizza when I was a teen. It always was a family owned place that refused to bow to places like Pizza Hut.’

His thoughts were interrupted though as the rain over him stopped and a voice called to him. “Are you alright young man?”

Looking over after jumping slightly he saw an elderly woman holding an umbrella out for him along with holding the hand of a rather young girl, maybe six at best, both of which were human. “Yeah, just-” Then he remembered! “My dog is sick and I had forgotten my phone, I have her wrapped up but I have no way of calling for a ride to come pick us up to take her to the vet. Can I borrow your phone?”

The woman looked on in sympathy and pulled out a phone, an older one but he didn’t care about that, he just needed it to work. “There you go.”

“Thank you ma’am.” He told her quickly as he dialed in a number that he hoped had not faded from his memories as well. ‘Please, PLEASE WORK!’ soon a ringing sound was heard over the device, a good few rings.

Dustan was starting to get worried when the ringing stopped and a voice picked up, one he would know anywhere. “Patrick Morris, Designer and devilishly good looking, who am I speaking with?”

He nearly choked up hearing that voice but quickly started to get out. “Pat, I need a ride.”

There was silence for a good long moment before a somewhat angry voice spoke up. “Look, I don’t know who you are but trying to imitate my friend’s voice like that is-”

Dustan understood his anger but didn’t have time for it sadly so pulled up a bit of history that he hoped he would never have to. “Pat if you don’t get your car over to Sam’s Pizzeria right now I am going to tell everyone what I saw at Jenny’s party from when we were in high school!”

More silence, stunned too as he could hear some muffled sounds of movement from the other end. “Holy shit Dustan that you?! Where have you been?!”

“Please Pat, hurry, I am across the street from Sam’s I need a pick up, it’s important. I have used this old woman’s phone long enough and should give it back to her, I will explain when you get here.” Not wanting to hang up like that but he knew it would get his friend here as quick as possible as he wiped the rain water and tears from his face and handed the phone back to the woman. “Thank you very much ma’am, more then I can ever express.”

“No problem dearie, now come along Julie.” The shy little girl stood behind her grandmother as they walked off and Dustan went back to the alleyway to pick up and move Twilight’s covered body towards someplace with more shelter, not that there was much in the alleyway.

Looking towards the pizza place of his youth Dustan kept watch over Twilight as time went by. Each car that came and went brought both hope and joy to him as well as fear and worry as thoughts came to his mind. Thoughts like ‘How do I explain this to him, to Mom and Dad, hell the government? I am likely declared legally dead or something after all.’ As well as other thoughts ranging from simple things of soda he might wish to try now that he was back to grander things of what the world was up to while he was gone.

All those thoughts came to a halt as a rather nice looking black Bentley Mulsanne pulled into the parking lot of the Pizzeria and out stepped a tall sandy blond male in a pair of jeans along with a t-shirt and jacket. Dustan could feel the tears well up in his eyes again but shook them off as he wrapped Twilight up tight and made sure nothing of hers was showing as he carried her towards his awaiting friend. Patrick for what it was worth was looking quite well, no dark shadows under his eyes, appeared in good health, and judging from the quality of his clothing and the fact he was driving a Bentley meant he must have been well off money-wise.

Regardless of who he was now, the instant Pat saw his friend he ran over and gave him a hug. “Damn man it’s so good to see you.”

Pat was taller than Dustan by a good few inches being six foot two, hugging back to his tall friend Dustan held him for a moment. “Glad to see you again too man. Mind if we get out of the rain. I rather get someplace nice and dry.”

“Y-yeah sure.” The older former bully told him while wiping his face and leading him back to the Bentley. Opening up the doors Dustan chose to hop in the back to keep an eye on Twilight. “What do you have there and where have you been? Noah and Olivia were so upset when you vanished.”

Those names brought tears to his eyes as he wiped them away. “Have my parents been well you know beyond besides being worried for me?”

The car hummed to life as the warm air soon was staving off the cold of the rain. “Yeah, been helping them out. Your Dad had a nasty scare with Cancer but it was treated and hasn’t come back. Your mom is still a florist, can’t really say much about that.” Shaking his head for a moment he looked back as they were at a red light. “Don’t change the subject, where have you been, what’s in the blanket?”

“It’s a long story that likely won’t be finished by the time we get home, but here look.” Dustan told him as he lifted the hood of his cloak showing the face and horn of Twilight Sparkle.

A moment passed before the honking of someone behind them got Pat’s attention to start driving once more. “Dude, I know you liked the show, but buying a pony and painting it is likely not the best course of action, let alone gluing a horn to it like that. But hell I don’t care right now, you are back that is all that matters.”

“Yeah, I’m back.” Dustan said with a smile as he leaned back against the warm seats.

The drive to Patrick’s home, and the home of Dustan as it were since he had been living with Patrick at the time before vanishing, took longer than expected and when asked Pat told him that he had moved away from their old place to his own property he had built. Hearing that, Dustan gave a whistle as he had been impressed as it was something that the designer always talked about but should have been years and years off.

“Sounds like your designs are getting popular then.” The formerly displaced human told his friend to which got a chuckle.

“Not really.” Pat said turning down a new street. “I mostly design as a hobby now and to keep myself busy.”

“What wh-” Dustan stopped as a gate in front of them opened and in came the view of the place Patrick now lived. “Holy shit.”

In front of him was a modern three story home that he could see both solar panels atop of the roof as well as a pool off to the side, plenty of land and more all that said private property. “Yeah, um I may have hit the lottery around New Year’s this year and the pot for it was…let’s say generous.”

Laughing and smiling he reached over to give his friend a celebratory pat on the back. “If anyone deserves it, it’s you man.”

Parking the expensive car, which now made sense on why Pat had it, in the garage his friend looked back to him and told him. “Come on, let’s get your pony someplace dry, it looks sick and I can call in a vet or someone to come take a look at it.”

Picking up Twilight he shook his head. “Trust me, once I start explaining things, you will want NO one to know about or see Twilight here.”

Chuckling at hearing the name pat waved him in. “You named your pet after the lead of the current generation?”

“She isn’t my pet and…wait how do you know that?” Dustan knew that Pat was not the biggest fan of MLP at all but then a thought came to mind. “Um let me find a nice quiet place to put her then we can talk alright?”

“Sure. One of the guest rooms on the second floor should work.” The home of his friend was…luxurious to say the least but not overly so to show what kind of money he had. Fancy items were few and far between and it was clear he picked items that had a mix of comfort and design with emphasis on the former. “Actually, since she is your pet, let’s take her up to the third floor to your room.”

“Again she isn’t my-wait my room?” Dustan asked confused as his head tilted as they climbed the second set of stairs now. “Didn’t you say you moved here?”

His friend took on a somber face as he slowed. “I couldn’t just leave your stuff there. It would have been like admitting you weren’t coming back, that you were gone and dead somewhere. I refused to believe that, so when I hit the lotto I paid good money to have your room shipped here and placed more or less how you left it. That way when you got back you had someplace to call home.”

Opening up the door it was just like Patrick had told him. His bed, his posters of various anime, his bookshelf of books, manga, and comics lined the shelf though it was smaller than he would have liked having to sell more of his expensive items during Sarah’s treatments. A shelf of games and anime that he owned his old tv, game systems, computer, everything was more or less oriented the same in this room as it was in his old smaller one, more spacious with a huge window on one wall, but the same. Holding back tears, Dustan set Twilight on the bed, uncovering the cloaked from her covering her up in the blanket.

Folding the piece of clothing up, he carried it as he went out of the room then hugged his best friend. “Thanks man, means a lot.”

As his friend hugged him, he could feel the tears coming from him matching the ones Dustan felt coming from his own eyes. “No problem man. You would have done the same for me if you could.” The sound of grumbling was heard as the designer pulled back and laughed. “What the fuck are you, an anime character?”

Laughing and smiling Dustan rubbed the back of his head in the typical anime way to emphasize the point making his friend laugh. “Dude, I don’t suppose I could get something to eat.”

Waving him down Pat started to head to the kitchen on the first floor. “I was just about to start dinner when you called up, so yeah let’s get something to eat. You can explain while I cook.”

Pat, while not the best cook in the world knew how to make certain dishes extremely well, such as this dish: Spaghetti and meatballs. The well to do blond would grind up the meat himself adding in seasonings same for the sauce, which was made from scratch. His friend never told him exactly what he put into it as it was one of the things that his mother had taught him before she died stating that it was a family recipe.

“So man, what happened. I got drunk during the con and when I woke up, you were nowhere to be found.” The stirring of the sauce slowed as it seems that saying that brought memories back to him. “For the longest time I blamed myself for that. I thought to myself, if maybe I was sober, what had ever happened could have been prevented. So tell me man, I need to know.”

Sitting down at the table Dustan remembered back to almost two years ago now to that day. “Well, let’s start with me saying this. I know you aren’t the biggest fan of MLP but in the community there is someone called the Merchant from Resident Evil Four that shows up and takes humans from our world and puts them into Equestria, the world of My Little Pony.”

“Wait, you telling me that the guy we bumped into at the con was some kind of mystical abductor that just happens to be real from fanfiction?” Turning around and leaning against the counter Pat tossed a small meatball back and forth between his hands now. “Come on man; tell me the truth, what happened.”

Dustan looked at his friend and said nothing really, instead he felt around inside of him, looking for his mana and pulled. “Water.” A sphere of water manifested in his hand floating above it and the splat of meat hitting the ground was heard as Patrick froze wide eyed at the gravity defying water. “I am not lying.”

Forgetting the lost object of food the blond came over and poked at the water finding it firm but not so firm that he couldn’t push his finger into it. “The fuck?”

Giving a toss to the sink, Dustan watched with a smile as it landed and splashed. “For the past almost two years I have been in Equestria brought there by a pair of merchants.”

Patrick moved to clean up his mess now as he checked on the sauce and prepared a replacement meatball. “Ok, so now you have my absolute attention.”

Dustan started off explaining about the two merchants, the good and bad one; how the bad one impaled him with the formerly wooden sword he carved and turned it into a Blood Sword by having it absorb his blood. How the good one had saved his life by sending him to Equestria fully healed. Mentioning his first encounter with Ponyville, Zecora, the goblins, and ending long after they had finished their meal with what had just transpired that brought him here. To say Patrick was stunned was an understatement, having not said a word the entire time and looking like he was both worried and flabbergasted at times.

“Damn.” It was the only thing that came from his friends mouth in nearly an hour and a half that wasn’t a sigh. “So, let me get this straight. You have magic and super human abilities. That pony upstairs is in fact THE Twilight Princess of Magic and Friendship Sparkle, and she is somehow from a version of Equestria that has elements of Final Fantasy in it? Not to mention you are a fucking noble Lord now?”

“Yeah, that about sums up some things.” Standing up now Dustan looked to his friend as he started to go back upstairs. “I should check on her. Though I am still curious to how you know all that.”

That somber face came back to his friend as they climbed the stairs. “After you vanished, it was rough on me. After some time, when I was healing, I remembered you liked that show as well as other things and started to watch them to connect to you man. There were times when I wavered on if I believed you were alive or not and watching things you liked helped remember our friendship and keep my hope strong. Sappy yeah I know but it’s true.”

The Lord of the Everfree was shocked, as he remembered how much his friend detested the show before. “Um, don’t mention that she is from a show around her though. She doesn’t know, hell she thinks that I am a human from an unknown part of Equestria.”

Wincing as that was said Pat folded his arms in front of him. “The show thing I can get though honestly I feel like that is going to bite you in the ass. You are lucky you didn’t have any pony memorabilia in your room.” A chuckle escaped the pair. “You should tell her though, at least about where the fuck she is now. You owe that much to her.”

“Yeah, you are right.” It was something that should be told later once Twilight recovers.

Opening up the door and letting the hall light in must have been enough to awaken Twilight as she groaned and covered her eyes. “Spike, tell the princess it’s too early to wake up.”

Dustan quickly went over to the pony as he heard her speak even as his friend gave another wide eyed look as he heard her. “Twilight, are you alright?”

The lavender pony slowly rose up from the bed and opened her eyes. “Yeah, a bit mana depleted and have a huge headache but yeah.” Finally noticing things around her, no doubt strange and curious she rose up more. “Where are we?”

Dustan looked back to his friend as he strode forward and placed a hand on the shoulder of the pony. “As Will Smith once said. ‘Welcome to Earth.’”

Author's Notes:

Sorry this one took sooooooo long everyone. IRL happens, I can't control it. If I could...I would likely go mad with power. No kitten would be safe from being pet ever, no doggo would be without a treat, I am evil incarnate!

So then how does that make you evil?

Because if I am doing those things, no one else could do them.

YOU MONSTER!