Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 4: At Luck's End (Comment Driven Story)

by BrownDog77

First published 17th of December, 2017

The Final Adventure of Bugze the Changeling, AKA You. (Comment Driven Story)

Sequel to Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 3: Tyrants, Terrorists, and Tiaras, Oh My!
3 Months after Twilight Sparkle has been Crowned Princess, You and your family are still wanted by the world at large, but that won't stop you from your next quest. You (Bugze the Changeling), Your Daughter Nightshade, and Your Grandbuggy set about to get Selena, the Former Nightmare Moon, out of your head and in a body of her own. (And Sombra too if he's a good boy). But to do that, Artifacts from all over the world will be needed, plus a few from Another World.

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Title Art Edited By TartarusFire, Original Art in Source.

Episode 0: Season 3 Recap

In a dark empty room, a wooden stage sits. Behind it is a gigantic Equestrian Flag. Hoofsteps are heard within the darkness, and suddenly several large spotlights illuminate the stage.

From behind the platform walks an old grisled changeling. A bowler hat sits atop his head, and a half lit cigar is wedged between his teeth. He stops in the middle of the platform and looks out to his audience (Us). He then salutes with his right hoof to his forehead and the sound of trumpets can be heard. As the music dies, he lowers his hoof and says.

“Be Seated…Now I want you to remember, that no commentor ever finished a comment driven story by writing it on his own. He finished it, by having the other dumb commentors write it with him. And commentors, all this dumb stuff you’ve heard about the series never being finished, is a load of horse dung. Commentors traditionally love comment driven stories. All REAL commentors LOVE putting the protagonist through hell and back!” The older changeling then stomps his hoof in disgust and glares.

“Alright, enough of this. Hope you all like this classic reference ya dang uncultured kids.” He shakes his head in disgust even though he shouldn’t technically be able to see us. “Yeah yeah, but I know the drill. This is a recap so at times like these I can break the fourth wall like it ain’t nobody’s business.”

Well yes that’s true but you shouldn’t insult-

“I’ll insult who I dang well please,” he harrumphs, “So don’t give me no sass Narrator. Let me have my say!”

Fine… The old grumpy bug then looks at all of us.

“For three years you lot have been reading the fate of my Grandbug and his family. Not only that, the majority of you have been steering that fate. And I must say…I give you an 80 out of 100.” He then stamps his hoof and the Equestrian Flag rises up and out of sight.

“I mean, kudos to keeping him alive and all, but Cheese and Rice people, some days I think you might need a chill pill. Heck, the whole reason I disappeared from his life was so he wouldn’t have to deal with the dark stuff.” He then lets out a sigh. “But then again, Lady Luck’s will is always against me and mine, so I can’t blame you all outright. So I give you all a B Minus for your part. But for the love of the gods people, cheer up!”

“Grandbuggy!” comes an adorable filly voice as Nightshade walks out onto stage, “You’re supposed to be recapping, not berating the audience.” The young black alicorn with purplish blue hair then looks to us, “But just so you all know, I give you all a solid A for helping Daddy, Mommy and I.”

“You’re too lenient kiddo,” he says as he rubs her mane. “But you’re right. We better get this ball rolling. The new readers are probably confused as all heck.” Nodding, Nightshade looks back to us as a projector screen descends behind them.

“Hello to returning and new readers, My name is Nightshade. I’m technically only 3 and a half years old, but mentally and physically I’m just as old as my friends the Cutie Mark Crusaders. My Dad Bugze is the titular Wanted Changeling, and my Mom is Selena, she used to be Nightmare Moon. This here is my Great Grandbuggy.”

“I’m Specialist 117,” he waves, “Otherwise known as Quick Fix, but most folks call me Grandbuggy. And yes, while I may be an old fart, it doesn’t mean I ain’t tough as nails, or that the mares don’t love me.” Rolling her eyes at his antics Nightshade speaks up again.

“Yeah Yeah. So anyway, welcome to the Season 3 Recap. This will help you all get up to speed before we dive right into this final season. And if you’re wondering where Daddy is, he’s still screaming at the sky over Ms. Twilight being crowned a Princess.”

“NOT REAL!!! THIS ISN’T REAL!!!” comes a panicked shout in the off camera distance.

“There’s a very obvious joke I could make at that, but I’m not going to. It’s as tired and outdated as all the references in this series. But ya, You really should go read the series from the beginning,” Grandbuggy urges, “But then again we know not everyone can read what is essentially a story with a one million word count, so cliff notes do come in handy.”

“That they do Grandbuggy,” Nightshade agrees. “But before we recap the latest season, we’ll let you skim over the Season 1 and 2 Recap first. It’s about 20,000 words between the two of them, but what would you rather have? 20,000 or a million?” She clicks the clicker in her hooves and a slide with the links comes up.

“We’ll be here when you get back,” she smiles.

“However long that takes. Let’s get some snacks while they’re gone,” Grandbuggy suggests.

“Heck Ya!” she hoof pumps.

They then rush off the stage to get whatever snacks they’re in the mood for. And just so all you know, we don’t normally let our characters break the fourth wall. The Recap is a special case and-

“They know the drill! Get on with it!” Grandbuggy’s voice comes from offscreen.

*Sigh* Alright to the new folks, here’s the recap links. To those who know the drill onward to the timeskip.

Season 1 Recap

Season 2 Recap

“And We’re Back!” Nighshade chirps as she brushes sprinkles off her lips.

“I know, I know, don’t rush me! I don’t want to get a brain freeze!” Grandbuggy implores as he finishes his ice cream cone. After they are both presentable again, Grandbuggy coughs into his hoof.

“Alright then you primitive screwheads, we’re gonna let the narrator take care of the bulk of this stuff, but we’ll still add some insightful commentary into the mix.”

Which is probably going to be mostly Riffs.

“You know it!”

“Just like last season, we’ll break the story into arcs so it’s easier on all of our sanities’. It is over 20,000 words after all,” Nightshade explains as she hits the clicker and a picture of a snowy Crystal Empire shows up.

“The first one is…”

After the Events of the otherworld, Bugze the Wanted Changeling was suffering from shock and Trauma as he traveled with Nigthshade off the grid. With Selena, the mare formerly known as Nightmare Moon, still comatose, he feared using his own power.

“He didn’t want to chance a fight because he said Mommy was sick. He didn’t want to risk her…going away…” Nightshade says trepidly as she looks down and Grandbuggy puts a hoof on her shoulder.

Indeed, but even with his guilty conscious, his orichalcum caused wound was still not fully healed. Despite that though, he still tried to be the best father he could be. While helping Nightshade practice her magic, a little mishap happened.

“I uh..heh heh. I kind of teleported us clear into the arctic because I was thinking heavily about how Ms. Twilight would be proud of me,” she admits.

Because the unicorn was on her mind, she and her dad ended up near the borders of the Crystal Empire where Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Elements were along with Spike and Shining Armor. And with the only warm clothes of Bugze’s being his Hooded Offender cloak, this was a recipe for disaster. After some panicking and failed attempts at stealth, Bugze made a break for it just as the former King of the Crystal Empire appeared in his smokey glory.

“The Deadly 6 all were busy being chased by him, so Dad slipped into the Empire place.”

With the sun shining inside, Bugze dressed himself in his El Hunko outfit, while Nightshade shifted into her Pegasus form, and attempted to find a doctor as his chest wound had begun to bleed his Midnight Blue Blood again.

Encountering the Deadly 6 triggered flashbacks to the otherworld, so he tried to avoid them, but as is usually the case, this failed.

“Lady Luck is not on my line’s side,” Grandbuggy mumbles.

After entering the Crystal Castle, Bugze had no luck finding a doctor, but did find some interesting artifacts. Including a large ornate mirror where his image changed.

“FORESHADOWING!!!” Grandbuggy “coughs” into his hoof. “Ahem, excuse me.”

Right…but eventually, Bugze found an overtaxed Princess Cadance keeping up the barrier and his flashbacks of her other self stabbing him caused him to panic. It didn’t help that Flash Sentry, his Best Bro Frenemy Forever was there. After a bit of back and forth, and more injuries, the two directed Bugze to the infirmary.

With barely enough bandages and pain pills, Bugze found Spike scared and alone over an open pit which Twilight had gone down. On Nightshade’s behalf, he went to go help the dragon.

“Well of course I did! You think I was just going to let my Dad walk off without helping my bestest friend?” she accuses.

No of course not. I just meant…never mind. Anyway, in helping Spike, Bugze went down the stairwell into the pit and found Twilight staring intently at a door and crying, and he soon fell into the same trap. Bugze viewed not only petty fears, but his true innermost nightmares. The loss of his loved ones, and the fear of becoming a monster.

“He was crying and whimpering my name when I snapped him out of it,” Nightshade adds.

After escaping this trap, Twilight implored “El Hunko” to help with the Crystal Fair while she looked for the Crystal Heart since he was an outsider as well. Bugze agreed, more so to get out of her presence, and after failing to achieve a slinky world record, he began to help in his own way. This of course was counter intuitive as he traumatized countless crystal ponies with a pickle jar, made Fluttershy give Rainbow Dash a black eye, and screamed in many of their faces.

“Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong to make the boy not have the common sense the gods gave corn,” Grandbuggy shakes his head.

So after earning the ire of the Elements, Bugze’s PTSD kicked in where he saw all of their dead counterparts and had an attack in an empty tent. Pinkie Pie came along to talk things over with him, and in his grief he spilled his guts, referring to her as Pinkamena, the ally he lost in the other world. Though shocked, Pinkie Pie comforted the distraught Bugze and even helped reassure him that it was not his fault.

After hugging her in thankfulness, with a mountain of stress of his shoulders, he accidentally knocked askew his hat and mask and Pinkie Pie found out El Hunko’s true identity. But because she had promised to hear him out and that anything learned in that tent would not leave it, she chose to keep his identity a secret. She also revealed that she never truly hated Bugze, but was just a whim of how the story went. But then, after something good happened, of course something bad followed. The barrier fell and King Sombra came on in.

“He was a real big jerk in his smoke form. Though we did find he had a weakness to all things cute and fluffy,” Nightshade chuckles.

Yes, apparently Sombra has a soft spot for huggable little creatures, especially those from a petting zoo. A fact which was used against him quite a few times. Not wanting to use his cloak powers, Bugze helped the Deadly 6, and Flash Sentry to slow Sombra down, but eventually the barrier fell completely. And then with a shout from Nightshade, Bugze watched in fear as Spike plummeted down the spire and Shining Armor threw the weakened Cadence out the window.

“To be fair, I found the whole thing confusing and scary too,” Nightshade admits.

“Nightshade, sometimes in life, if you love something, you gotta hurl it like a javelin,” the old bug responds, not explaining anything at all.

So instead of Cadence grabbing Spike and the Heart and saving the day, Bugze used his telekentic plasmid powers to catch the both of them and the heart fell to Sombra. Now fully physical and possessing the heart, Sombra began his assault. In the chaos of the fight, Bugze changed outfits in secret, becoming the Hooded Offender again. In the end though, it became fruitless as Sombra launched crystal spear at Cadence, believing her to be his old enemy Princess Amore. Shining armor dove in the way, taking the blow making everyone think he was dead (Though he was only critically injured).

With this final outrage, Bugze lost control of his rage, and the nightmare cloak came forth in force, but not like it had in the past. The cloak morphed and enhanced his body at an alarming rate as the full brunt of Selena’s remaining power flowed forth, turning him into a mindless beast.

“It’s because that saucy mare in his head wasn’t around to keep the power in check. With no guidance, it just flowed out of control,” Grandbuggy explains.

“Yeah, Daddy lost it a bit there in Phase 4. He attacked Sombra, and all kinds of destruction started happening. And that’s when I realized I had to save the day,” Nightshade declares in determination.

She knew that if this rampage continued, not only would countless innocents be hurt, but her mother could die as well. And so Nightshade rallied the Elements to stop him before it was too late. But even then, she knew it wouldn’t be enough. If the day was to be saved, she had to stop Sombra and return the Heart. And with everypony else fighting her dad, she recruited the only one left.

“That’s right. Me and Spike set out to go and kick Sombra’s flank. And we totally won too! I beat him at his crystal bending, kicked his flank six ways to Sunday, and when he tried to cheat with his Smoke form, Spike fried his butt off, and then I started peeling the heart off his chest. We were like the best superhero duo ever!” Nightshade jumps up and down in excitement.

“Yeah, I seen the videos the Doctor had on file. Shade and her coltfriend are a force to be reckoned with,” Grandbuggy agrees.

“He’s not my coltfriend Grandbuggy!” Nightshade shrieks in embarrassment.

“Not with that attitude,” Grandbuggy chuckles as Nightshade hurriedly changes the subject.

“A-Anyway, long story short we were denied our rightful victory because Daddy rampaged over and knocked Sombra away from us,” she huffs and crosses her forelegs.

As Phase 4 and Sombra fought, the former Dictator was eventually defeated and the heart torn from his chest. Nightshade was somewhat able to calm Phase 4, but Sombra in his defeat claimed that he finally saw the truth, that Nightshade was a battery of power for the Hooded Offender. Phase 4 didn’t take kindly to this, and despite everyone’s pleading, the monster unhinged it’s jaw and devoured the fallen king.

“That’s an image I wish I could forget,” Nightshade shudders.

With no Sombra to target, Phase 4 set its sights on everyone else, and that’s when Nightshade decided to put a stop to it all. Whipping up a sandstorm, and riding on his back while earth bending crystal shackles, she subdued him long enough for Spike to place the Crystal Heart back upon the pedestal. The magic of the Empire then washed over Bugze and launched him and Nightshade into the sky and out of the Empire, but not before Spike witnessed her true Alicorn form.

“In the sky, daddy changed back to normal, but passed out. And since I didn’t know how to fly, we plummeted and I had to random teleport us again. We ended up in a dumpy cabin where I stood watch over him for a few days. Thankfully Mommy was still alright, but she was a lot smaller than when I’d last seen her months ago, and she wouldn’t move from her bed. When dad woke up, I told him the whole story.”

It was a hard thing for him to hear, but he now more than ever understood how important it was to not use the cloak. The fight had served to partially reopen his chest wound, and drain him of strength, so the two of them stayed in the cabin to recuperate. While there, a letter from the Mysterious Friend arrived, chastising his actions, and to be wary of the town in that area and to “trust no one.”

“And that’s when the next nightmare happened…” Nightshade shivers as a new slide shows up displaying a town covered in fog.

In her quest to find soup ingredients in the woods, Nightshade followed a strange filly into a town called Sunny Town.

“The adults were all creepy, and no one had their cutie mark, they were partying as if it were normal. And then in the middle of all that strangeness, I found Applebloom.”

Nightshade’s fellow Cutie Mark Crusader had also followed a strange filly into the town, and so Nightshade realized this whole place was in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Luckily, Applebloom didn’t recognize Nightshade in her Alicorn form. The two fillies then both compared how strange the town was and looked for the mysterious filly as they walked to the north side of the town. At the same time, Bugze had awoken and seen Nightshade’s note about looking for soup. He waited as long as he could, but eventually couldn’t handle it and went out after her. It’s then that he came across a gift from “A Friend.” A bonafide Chainsaw.

“Groovy,” Grandbuggy quips and Nightshade snorts.

He then set out, coming across the same filly Nightshade and Applebloom saw, and he too entered Sunny Town. While he enjoyed their hospitality, Nightshade and Applebloom found a house the filly disappeared into, and in the fireplace, they found a horrifying discovery.

“They were the charred bones of a filly…Naturally this freaked Applebloom and I the buck out, and then the whole town…changed.”

The sunlight returned to the encroaching darkness, and the town began to peel and age rapidly as a heavy fog rolled in. Bugze witnessed this first hoof and heard figures within the mist, which revealed themselves to be the undead members of the town. And as Bugze began to fight this horde, Nightshade and Applebloom were visited by the spirit of the dead filly Ruby.

“She told us that she had been killed by the town when she got her cutie mark because they feared them. Apparently they’d been hit by the Cutie Pox and labeled all marks evil. Ruby’s wrath had brought this curse upon the town, but she told us she wanted it to finally end and for everyone to pass on in peace.”

And the only way to do that was to bury her bones outside the town. Gathering up her bones, Applebloom and Nightshade then fought their way back to town where they eventually met back up with Bugze. But then the Zombies began to groan in fear and run as the true horror revealed himself.

“It was Pyramid Head! Freaking Pyramid Head! Just like how he was in the videogame!” Nightshade shouts. “Ruby’s spirit had brought him to the town all those years ago, and then he saw dad and thought he was guilty too, so he attacked him.”

“Well that’s kind of what he’s meant to do kid,” Grandbuggy says.

“It was still freaky as all Tartarus. We still don’t even know how he even exists.”

“Most legends are based on reality Shade. Videogame characters are no exception.”

Well said. But yes, the Executioner targeted Bugze as an enemy, and a battle did ensue, which was completely one sided.

Bugze held on as long as he could, and even Nightshade and Applebloom were able to help from the dreamscape, but when it came down to it, the only way to win was to escape and bury Ruby.

Covered in zombie gore, and his new chainsaw broken, Bugze fled through the Everyfree, eventually finding a meadow surrounded by the dead. The three of them then rapidly dug and buried the forsaken filly, and the curse was finally lifted. The dead spirits moved on, and Pyramid Head went back from whence he came after a tender reunion with Ruby.

“It actually was kind of sweet. All he ever wanted to do was protect and avenge her,” Nightshade points out.

With the monsters gone, Nightshade and Applebloom passed out in the Inventory while Bugze dragged himself to Zecora’s. With the adrenaline wearing off, his body started giving out on him due to lack of food and healing from the Crystal Empire. Luckily Zecora took them in. While still asleep, she used her medicinal magic to finally close his chest wound and turn it into a scar. Also, in the dreamscape Applebloom finally figured out that the Alicorn that looked like Nightshade actually was Nightshade.

“I still don’t get how the perception filter thing works,” she grumbles.

“Don’t try to think to hard about it kiddo. When it comes to the Doctor and his weird alien tech, only he can wrap his mind around it,” Grandbuggy reassures her.

“I guess so. But anyway, I made her keep my secret, and told her I would see her again. She and I had gained some sort of deeper understanding that night, not to mention Ruby said we had shared blood, whatever that means.”

“The little apple filly? Well yeah because she’s your cousin,” Grandbuggy points out.

“Wait What?!” Nightshade responds. “How?”

“Huh? You still don’t know?” Grandbuggy asks confused.

She hasn’t been told by anyone in story yet you stupid old bug!

“Oh…Well she ain’t gonna remember this anyway. So long story short, which someone will have to tell you this season, you’re related to the Apples. Your Dad’s mom, my daughter, was Granny Smith’s first child.”

“Oh…But…wouldn’t that make Applejack and Dad cousins too?” she asks in disgust.

“Yeaaahhh…I’m really going to have to talk to the boyo about that. There are just some lines you do not cross,” Grandbuggy shakes his head.

“Let’s uhhh…Let’s move on,” Nightshade says with a shiver. The next slide displays the Everfree woods with Zecora’s house and a metal door on the ground with a bright light shining out of it.

Yes. Let’s. After Zecora took Applebloom home, she allowed Bugze and Nightshade to heal at her home, after hitting Bugze in the head with the whacking stick for faking his death that is. Also, she trained Nightshade a bit in the art of fighting.

“Zebra Sensei is best Sensei!” she chirps.

Then, Bugze received another letter from his friend with a map to a safe location. After bidding farewell to Zecora they travelled to this location deep within the woods which turned out to be a hidden bunker set up by Grandbuggy himself.

“Ayup. Bunker 04, my own little home away from home. I spent years outfitting that place with all manner of things that would be useful for my boyo. Plenty of food, his favorite movies, videogames, a holodeck and weapons, useful files, the whole shebang,” he brags.

“It was pretty cool, but most of the food was rotten and we only stayed there for awhile,” Nightshade points out.

“Well excuse me little miss sass. When I launched myself into space, I’d thought he would have left the Hive and found it. I took him there a few times when he was younger. I didn’t expect him to stay in the army for several years, bond with Nightmare Moon and have a kid with her and just generally bumblebuck his way around Equestria. The food would have been fresh then.”

Anyway! While sleeping in the Bunker, Bugze attempted to visit Selena in her resting chambers in the depths of his mind, but he was suddenly attacked by the shadowy king he’d eaten only days prior.

“I only found out about him later. Let me tell you, it’s a relief off your shoulders to find out the guy your dad cannibalized turned out to still be alive.”

Indeed. Trapped within Bugze’s body, he wanted to be freed, and the only way to do that was to kill him. But in the course of the fight, with so much dark magic flung around, a certain somepony awoke and saved the day.

“Mommy!” Nightshade cheers.

That’s right. Selena awoke from her bedside, rejuvenated after siphoning and stealing Sombra’s dark magic. She then attacked Sombra using Bugze’s own mindscape. She had the advantage having been there for years already. After his defeat, she imprisoned Sombra deeper within Bugze’s subconscious.
After a tender reunion between the two, and some explaining on why the Crystal King was inside Bugze’s head, the both of them finally have a restful sleep after so long, with Selena visiting Nightshade’s dreams.

“It was great seeing her again,” she smiles. “She used to be so tall, but now she looks almost exactly like Princess Luna, just with a darker coat and mane.”

“I actually prefer the new figure,” Grandbuggy chimes in. “Tall mares have legs for days, but when it comes down to it, they’re harder to-“

OI! Children present!

“Oh bugger off,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes.

“I don’t understand half of what he says when he gets like this anyway,” Nightshade rolls her eyes.

Ahem. So, after resting in the bunker until the food ran dry, the reunited family began to plan for the next step of their journey. Bugze found an old Bingo Style book within the bunker with wanted posters for several criminals.

“I used to dabble with bounty hunting in my free time, for the extra cash. Cigars don’t come cheap, and I liked spoiling the boy with his video game stuff,” Grandbuggy says nonchalantly.

“With Mommy back, Dad could fight again, and since we were kind of broke, he figured he’d round up a few baddies for cash. So he made a new costume.”

Using various clothing from Grandbuggy’s wardrobe, Bugze became a red clad bounty hunter with a skeletal toothy mask known as, The Crimson Vengeance.

“Why did you even have that mask Grandbuggy?”

“It was a gift from a friend way back in the day…which just so happens to be in the future…possibly.”

Bugze still felt like his costume was incomplete though, and when he saw a bull from the Longhorn Gang named Stampede in the bingo book, he coveted his red cloak.

“He was obsessing over that thing for days,” Nightshade shudders and clicks the slide, showing Bugze’s bounty hunter visage chasing after bandits.

So with his first targets in site, Bugze started his new career.

After some mishaps, Bugze arrived in Dodge Junction, found the location for the Gang’s hideout and attacked it. In True Grit style, he and Nightshade jumped two of the bulls at their cabin, and Bugze finally got his red cloak.

“I also found a gun from Smash Bros that shot a big laser. Daddy’s used it off and on, but it’s mine!” Nightshade says excitedly.

After a bit of interrogation, the rest of the gang showed up, with King Longhorn himself. And in classic fashion, Bugze started wailing on them. In the end, the bulls were no match, and so Bugze delivered them, ala Inventory to the sheriff for the bounty. The only problem was, he couldn’t collect it due to not actually having a Bounty Hunter’s license.

“I still call bullspit on that one,” Nightshade growls.

“Nah it’s true kid. Sadly no matter where you go in the universe, it’s hard to escape bureaucracy.”

The sheriff was nice enough to give some bits though, and so Bugze headed to Batlimare so he could get his Bounty Hunter License. Along the way though, he spied a Zebra shaman within the woods named Blaze who was on his updated bounty hunter sheet. Deciding that he could capture him and turn him in after getting his license, Bugze went to attack, only for someone else to attack first.

“Aqua: XX years old. A blue unicorn trained in the ways of water of manipulation, or bending. Former life as a hired mercenary, including being employed by Flag Burner during the Fillydelphia incident where her leg was broken by the Hooded Offender,” Grandbuggy reads off from a vanilla envelope.

“Why do you have a dossier on her?” asks Nightshade.

“I borrowed it from Jack. My input on her is she’s got a nice flank.”

Very enlightening. So Aqua engaged Blaze in a fight, and worrying about the loss of a bounty, Bugze stepped in when the Zebra got the upper hand. After knocking out the evil zebra, Aqua and Bugze fought over who would claim him, and in the process Bugze let his anger get the better of him and the cloak came out. He then tried to drown a very frightened Aqua.

“I stopped him though,” Nightshade speaks up. “It’d been so long since mom and dad used the cloak they kind of went overboard. I CPR’d her till she woke up then I chewed dad out and he tried to sound all high and mighty like he usually does when it comes to my safety, so I pointed out his hypocrisy by reminding him that he promised not to kill anymore.”

And it worked, he backed off. But now that the cat was out of the bag that the Crimson Vengeance was the Hooded Offender, Bugze attempted to make amends with Aqua and he and Selena swore not to recklessly use the Nightmare Cloak while being The Crimson Vengeance.

“And because the boy is a chip off the old block, he was able to smooth talk the lady into trusting him,” Grandbuggy smirks.

“Or he just apologized for being a dumbflank and meant it,” Nightshade rolls her eyes.

“I’ve heard it both ways,” Grandbuggy shrugs.

Aqua did come to become more steady around Bugze, and she admitted that after Fillydelphia she tried to distance herself from Mercenary work since it had only been a job for her. The two agreed to share the bounty on Blaze. But first, they needed to get their Bounty Licenses, as Aqua didn’t have one either. In Baltimare, a bound and gagged Zebra on Bugze’s back walking down the street caused racial tensions, and some jerkass guards took Blaze off their hooves.

“No money for that either,” Nightshade sighs.

After a long strenuous, and infuriating process, the two got their licenses, and over lunch Aqua suggested to do a bounty together to make up for their past feud.

“That’s when I first really met her. She’s nice once you get to know her and get past all her snarkiness,” Nightshade reminisces.

And so, the two Bounty Hunters decided to take on a local gang in the bingo book, The Extra Lives Gang. A group of Videogame obsessed cosplayers who stole, imported, and sold black market videogame memorabilia led by a griffon in a Samus Aran Zero Suit, who went by Samus.

“Mmph. Griffon Gals in skin tight latex? Sign me u-*BONK*”

“Not now you old coot!” Nightshade admonishes.

After infiltrating their dockside base, Aqua and Bugze encountered many of the obsessed cosplayers, and witnessed their actual functional videogame weapons. After defeating the gang with Aqua water bending the ocean water, they learned from the leader Samus that the gang itself were just subcontractors to the Video Game Mafia. A mafia that was headed by a leader of the Crimson Knights.

“DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!!” Grandbuggy and Nightshade shout in unison.

Yes the Crimson Knights, the radical splinter faction of Bugze’s fan club The Horde that arose after the Fillydelphia incident. Since Bugze had been recovering and looking for a cure for Selena, he had avoided this Terrorist Cell to avoid a fight. But now that he had a lead, he figured it was time to take out their management.
After turning in the rest of the Extra Lives and keeping Samus hostage, they traveled to the Video Game Mafia’s hideout in Bastion, Masshaychusetts to begin the hunt for the Crimson Knight Leaders. Aqua decided to stick with Bugze since the Crimson Knights had never actually paid her after Flag Burner died, and she felt like she was owed for being a part of something so horrible.

Along the train ride though, Bugze and Selena decided to finally confront the tyrant within their mind, as for the last few bounties he had been pushing Bugze mentally into dangerous situations, such as the urging to kill Aqua in the river. Pulling him out of the subconscious where he had been with his horrible movie torture, the two began setting the law for him. Also, they let Nightshade in on the secret.

“When I saw him in the cage in Daddy’s mind, I kind of did feel sorry for him. But Mom and Dad let me know that if anyone was to somehow get this guy to calm down and maybe even help out, it was going to be me. So I started to make him my friend, whether he wanted to or not.”

“Hmmph. Sounds like pony logic in a nutshell,” Grandbuggy snorts.

“Well I Am mostly a pony. But I showed Sombra I’m just as much part changeling when I shifted my forms. He kept thinking mom and dad weren’t actually my parents and were using me as a battery or something, so I showed him otherwise.”

And in forcing her friendship on him, he did crack enough to leak some information. Including the bitterness of losing the only pony he’d ever loved, Radiant Hope. But the full story of that would not come till later.

“I worked on him practically every night though. He liked calling me the Young Overlord and stuff like that,” she smiles.

So while this system was implemented, in the real world, Bugze, Selena, Nightshade and Aqua prepared for their next phase in this adventure. The slide changes to a wanted poster for several different creatures in black cloaks.

Using the list of Generals from the Otherworld, he knew who his targets in this world were.

Kichi: A videogame obsessed changeling with a skewed pyramid of respect. Started a franchise and Mafia just so he could feed his addiction, and used children to as batteries.

Rutherford and Solarkness: A rich foreign wyvern, and an intelligent/belligerent Timberwolf who more than anything wanted to make a movie, no matter how many got hurt or almost died to make their vision come to light.

Kersey: A massively overweight speciest earth pony with delusions of grandeur and self entitlement. An inflated and murderous ego made him believe he was significant for the financial stability of the Crimson Knights, even though he hated them all and just wanted to watch his shows and have good food.

Pony Spartan (Changer): A hybrid pony/changeling with a misplaced quest of Vengeance and a high opinion on his abilities. Studied arcane magic to enact his plans against his former colleagues, believing they had left him to die.

Brown Dog and Snap Drake: A Drunken Idiotic Diamond Dog and Pony Best Friend Duo who did random, disruptive shenanigans for the laughs. Lazy and apathetic, they followed their own beat.

Grey Rebl and Erised the Ink Moth: An OCD addled clean freak stallion with braces and a history of violence, and an old pale changeling with sinister blood powers, and a hatred for his own kind.

These 9 made up the primary infrastructure of the Crimson Knights. And so the Crimson Vengeance came for them. Nightshade clicks the slide button and picture of a Pizza Eatery with a Cartoon Bear on it pops up.

The first Knight to be hunted was Kichi the Changeling, the leader of the Videogame Mafia, and proprietor of the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza in Bastion. Through investigations, Bugze learned that not only were the animatronics creepy as all heck, but the atmosphere felt wrong too.

“The Pizza was pretty mediocre too,” Nightshade adds.

Waiting until nightfall, Bugze and Aqua dragged Samus into the pizzeria to search for the hidden hideout. But after all of them idiotically ate a slice of random pizza sitting on the Night Guard’s vacant desk, they all passed out. When Bugze came too, Aqua had been kidnapped, Samus was gone, and Kichi was acting like a true supervillain and made Bugze go through videogame trials to get keys and unlock the hideout door.

“There’s something about the classic hammy villains that always leaves me longing for the past,” Grandbuggy mumbles.

With both Selena and Sombra drugged within his mind, Bugze forged ahead. The entrances to each of the trials hidden within the pizzeria, and to make matters worse, the Animatronic Fazbear mascots roamed the halls seeking blood. After dodging fur covered murderous robots, and convincing one of them to become cannibalistic, Bugze made it to the the first trial which turned out to be a miniboss fight.

“That’s poor level designing right there,” Nightshade complains.

The fight was against a changeling with a skeleton mask and blue hoodie named Silver Strange.

Silver Strange: Subordinate/Buddy of Brown Dog and Snap Drake who was on loan to Kichi. Has the ability to conjure physical hard light magical constructions, which look like bones.

After a Sansational fight, Bugze was able to defeat him and retrieve the first key. The next trial was a maze of nothing but PUZZLES. And not even fun puzzles, some of them were the worst most frustrating puzzles ever made. Eventually Bugze just cheated and burn through the walls to the end, snagging the key and unknowingly setting the place on fire.

“You say ‘unknowingly’ but come on, it’s Daddy. You know how he is when it comes to fire,” Nightshade snarks.

“Heh, that’s genetic kiddo. Fire is the great equalizer after all…Though even I admit the boy enjoys it a little too much.”

Right, he should get that checked out. But anyway, Bugze then took on his third challenge, and escort mission through a “zombie” area. The subject was Samus who had a deadly health bar collar on, and the zombies were both actors and animatronics. Suffice to say, Samus did not appreciate her boss putting her life in danger. So after completing the trial and gaining the key, she joined Bugze to fight Kichi.

Inside the hideout, a drugged Aqua was tied to a chair and Kichi dramatically revealed he had been recording everything and was going to use the images of Bugze smashing his stuff as blackmail and sue him, but Bugze had other plans. Namely smashing everything and him. Then came the boss fight. Kichi rode and controlled the massive combination of Animatronics that the Mangle bot had been cannibalizing while the trials were completed. This abomination was called Mangeloid, and it was a tough fight. If Kichi got hurt, he’d heal himself with the children he kept there who gave him love. But with good ol grit, and help from Samus, Bugze was able to beat him and the bot down to its last legs. And then the fight got interrupted.

Changer (The Former Pony Spartan) rushed in and tried to kill steal the weakened enemy. Bugze wasn’t having any of that though, and sucker punched the guy as they all noticed the building was on fire. After interrogating Kichi, everyone left the building and the Knights, along with Kichi and Silver were handed over. Changer skulked into the night, and the police thought greatly of the Crimson Vengeance because of this, but he was already planning his next attack from the info he’d gotten from Kichi. For her help, Bugze let Samus go, and the griffon revealed her real name, Gretta, and that she was going home to Griffonstone. And then from the ashes of Freddy Fazbears, a miniature plush version of Mangle still tried to attack but that didn’t last long.

“Yup. Mangle is my adorable little pet now,” Nightshade squeaks in excitement as she pulls the teddy bear sized pink and white fox animatronic out of her inventory. “Say Hi Mangle.”

The robot gives a mechanical bark and waves to us causing Grandbuggy to shiver.

“What’s wrong Grandbuggy?”

“Nothing, just never had the best luck with robots,” he shudders.

With this new addition, Bugze and Aqua got their payment while Selena sobered up. They then found out that keeping Sombra drugged without the two of them being loopy was a viable option and so decided to keep drugging him to keep him placated. Bugze then wrote a letter to Cadance, whom he hadn’t spoken too since the Empire Incident, and set off to Applewood.
While he traveled, Shining Armor had caught wind of the bounty hunters who took down a Knight, and after some shenanigans and jumping to conclusions, a twitchy Flash Sentry was sent to Applewood to investigate claims of a Crimson Knight film.

The next Slide shows the Applewood sign with the wanted poster for Solarkness and Rutherford.

In Applewood, Bugze quickly found the location of Solarkness and Rutherford. The two knights had been attempting to make a movie based on images they and their counterparts had received from the events of the otherworld. Thankfully, they all thought it was fiction. The problem is that in staying authentic and not using CGI, they were recklessly harming their actors and extras. Teaming up with Flash Sentry, and letting him know that Baker Sylvester Tennant was still alive (which he was thankful for), they infiltrated the studio as extras with Nightshade actually getting a big part.

“Which I didn’t even get paid for,” she grumbles. “Stupid movie not being released. I can’t even claim that!”

Also while there, Aqua reunited with her old fighting teacher, Maude Pie.

“She’s very very monotone,” Nightshade shudders.

With this team up, they set out to sabotage a scene and expose the Knights. After doing so, they began battling the two who had secret weapons of their own, a tantabus and a wendigo. Aqua pushed her abilities when fighting the Wyvern who had his own water powers, and Bugze struggled against the self regenerating timberwolf. Unfortunately, the overpowered One Punch Mare Maude couldn’t just end the fight as she had to stop another epic fight that was rocking Applewood.

Due to idiotic shenanigans, Snap Drake and Brown Dog had set up a conflict between horrible directors Michael Beigh and M. Night Shamalamadingdong hoping that the two would kill each other. Instead the fight only served to wreck the majority of the Applewood movie district, delaying countless films for months and years to come. While she stopped that dumbness, Bugze battled the Tantabus within his mind, while Aqua, Flash, and Nightshade stopped Solarkness and Rutherford.

“Also around that time I met Garble, my favorite punching bag.”

Oh right. Yes, Garble the dragon had been working at the studio in the pony world as punishment by his father Smaug. He’d also been searching for his Ex-Girlfriend Crackle with no luck. In a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Nightshade beat him down, and then he swore to defeat her one day.

“He hasn’t. It’s pretty hilarious how many times I kick his nads into his throat.”

“Thatagirl. But remember, always save your signature move for the final blow, it’s much cooler that way,” Grandbuggy coaches.

With the knights defeated in his sleep, Bugze decided to handle the interrogation, and by adhering to their hatred, was able to make them sell out the location of a Knight neither of them liked in Vanhoover, Kersey. With this info, he knocked them out and gave them to the cops, where the Crimson Vengeance legend grew even more.

“We then went to Whinny Land and it WAS the happiest place on earth…until we accidentally burnt some of it down…” Nightshade admits guiltily while Grandbuggy puts a reassuring hoof on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry kid. The Walt Whinny Company has practically all the money in the world. They’ll be back on their hooves in no time.”

So with this family attraction being left in the ashes along with most of Applewood, the team moved onto Vanhoover.

The next slide comes up showing a Sapphire Shores Concert and Kersey’s wanted poster.

When arriving in the large city, the gang needed to find the one lead that could lead them to Kersey. This turned out to be a messenger that took his orders and was his go between while he stayed shut in his apartment. After some sleuthing they knew this messenger would be at the Sapphire Shores Concert going on that night, and that she would have a certain candy on her that they could track.

“Heh, stupid pop music. You kids these days got no taste. Whatever happened to some good old Rock and Roll?” Grandbuggy complains.

After getting some scalp tickets, Bugze and Nightshade went in disguise since their regular forms had been banned by the security. As they separated trying to find the messenger, Bugze ended up making a ruckus as he attacked Blue Blood who was being a jerk to a filly that looked similar to Nightshade’s disguised form. Beating him up and throwing him up through the stage, he interrupted the opening Colt Band act and Sapphire Shores decided to make a publicity stunt by saying she was captured by the Hooded Offender.

“When dad came back out, Mom was angry at him and he was mumbling about “Never Meet Your Idols.””

With good reason. Sapphire Shores attempted to seduce him, all for the purpose of publicity, and he had attempted to drug Selena before he figured out the jig to keep her from talking.

“Stupid boy. Rule number one is never piss off the ball and chain,” Grandbugg shakes his head in disappointment.

But yes, after being disgusted by her selfishness, Bugze fled, with her vowing vengeance, and encountered Aqua and Nightshade who had already captured the messenger.

“She was a pink haired changeling named Candy,” Nightshade adds. “And boy does she not do well under psychological torture.”

You all can be very convincing with your horrible movies. But yes Candy was another unbound changeling Knight who would later join the ranks of the imprisoned, but that comes later. With her information, Bugze and company committed identity theft and spent a vast amount of the Crimson Knight funds, along with Kersey’s personal funds on random things around the city. The obese pony only noticed when a bunch of exercise equipment was sent to his house and he went to investigate at the bank.

“He was like…I still can’t even describe his level of fatness. There are just no words,” Nightshade says mystified.

When he arrived, he attempted to run and fight, but failed miserably…that is until he took an experimental formula that turned him into a five story tall kaiju pony.

“Hah, is that what they’re calling a kaiju nowadays? Godzilla would be disappointed,” Grandbuggy spits unimpressed.

“You had to be there old bug. Those mountains of fat will forever haunt my dreams…”

Gross. But yeah, Bugze and Aqua took on the giant, and a lot of property damage was had. And then the fight was interrupted by two combatants. Changer showed up once again, and attacked Kersey, but both were interrupted when a 9 foot tall mecha showed up.

“Ah yes, Strong Head. I heard he’d given your dad a hard time in the past,” Grandbuggy says with a scowl.

“Yeah, he used to be Mr. Sentry’s jerk boss. Apparently he works for Blueballs now,” Nightshade gags.

He does. Prince Blueblood called in for him and the prototype armor that Shining Armor’s new classified program had been building to combat The Hooded Offender. When buildings started to crumble, they both figured it was Bugze and sent the armor out. Being a massive jerkass though, he was more than willing to test out his armor on some Knights, no matter who got in the way.

“It was a pretty cool mech too, and dad did a trick where he kept making sure all three of them wailed on each other instead of him.”

“Reminds me of the time I got that Sontaran to kick the crap out of the Ice Warrior for me, heh heh.”

So while the three fought, Bugze and Aqua protected civilians. Eventually they all became battered and bruised, with Changer being thrown into the air, the armor falling to pieces, and Kersey barely standing until Bugze gave the final punch to the gut, making him puke up most of the formula. Before he passed into a coma, Kersey gave Bugze his next two targets out of spite. Brown Dog and Snap Drake. Because of his reckless behavior, Strong Head was arrested and put on trial with Shining Armor, while Kersey’s bounty was collected and The Crimson Vengeance was seen even more as a hero.

“And from what I understand, the piece of crap is still in Armor’s program, but more like a servant to that Sentry kid,” Grandbuggy reads from a folder that says Top Secret.

“Where do you keep getting all these files?” asks Nightshade.

“Well I could tell you kid, but instead let’s just click that button and go to the next slide,” he says as he stashes the file under his hat.

“Fine,” Nightshade relents and clicks the button showing a Hippie Commune with Brown Dog’s, Snap Drake’s, and Changer’s wanted poster.

With Kersey’s info, the bounty hunter gang tracked the Goops and Stuff business back to its source in a Hippie Commune. Brown Dog and Snap Drake had been traveling with the merchandise wagon chain for several weeks after the Applewood incident, and on the outskirts of Vanhoover, an injured Changer landed in their midst. They nursed him back to health, and the revenge seeking Halfling reconnected with his idiotic friends, seeing that the entire “leaving him to die” thing wasn’t how he remembered it. While they reconnected, Bugze about tore his hair out at the Hippie Camp’s actions.

“I’ve said it a million times, Hippie chicks are into the free loving thing, but everything else about ‘em you just gotta slap ‘em down!” Grandbuggy barks.

“Dad tried not to, but I did ruin their garbage dinner. Can you believe they tried to trick me into eating Healthy?! That Pizza Was NOT Pizza!!!” Nightshade rants.

Yes, you caused quite an uproar, though it’s understandable when your Dad accidentally got you a contact high and you tried to pull the moon out of orbit.

“Wait, what happened now?” Grandbuggy sputters.

Bad Parenting. Also, she got another chance to wail on Garble.

“Now THAT I do remember,” Nightshade beams.

So after a day and night of dealing with Hippies, the wagon chain returned and Bugze was prepared to face down Brown Dog, Changer and Snap Drake…but they immediately just gave up. Brown Dog and Snap Drake’s reasoning was that everyone else was already captured, and that it was too much effort to fight when all it would do is mess up their Hippie friends’ place, and Changer figured he’d be able to wail on the others for vengeance if he was taken to the same prison as them. So they willingly went with Bugze to be turned into the police.

“It was very anticlimactic. Heck, they even gave up the last two guys immediately,” Nightshade complains as she clicks the clicker showing an evil looking Asylum with Grey Rebl’s and Erised the Ink Moth’s pictures.

“Now that fight was anything but anticlimactic,” Grandbuggy comments.

On the Outskirts of Tall Tale, the gang approached Arkhay Asylum where the last two Crimson Knight Leaders were said to be. Coming up with a typical Bugze plan, he decided that the only way to enter was to pretend to be crazy and get committed.

“It was surprisingly easy now that I think about it,” Nightshade ponders. “Do you think Daddy actually is crazy?”

“Everyone’s crazy Shade, some are just better at hiding it than others,” Grandbuggy philosophizes.

Once inside, Bugze decided to investigate while waiting for the Noon Visiting Hours so that Aqua and Nightshade could give him his inventory inside a cake. What he found was truly disturbing. Oblivious dazed guards going through the motions, crazy ponies left to their own devices, and worst of all Dr. Quacksalver was employed. Ironically he was the only one in the whole nuthouse that was acting like himself.

Bugze then discovered the horrific truth. Everyone in the Asylum was being controlled by Erised through his Ink Blood which he’d infected the food and drink with. His plan was to lure Princess Celestia and several royal guards into the Asylum and cause a massacre to prove a point to the princess about how killing your enemies was the only way to truly make a difference. A philosophy he’d lived by, and thought was vindicated by the Hooded Offender’s actions in Fillydelphia. Meanwhile, Grey Rebl was using Insane Scientists to mass produce the Videogame weapons which Bugze and friends had kept stumbling over, and even Plasmids and Vigors.

After relaying the info to Aqua and Nightshade, Bugze got his Inventory, only to lose it to a loon who took it down into the weapons lab beneath the Asylum. Bugze and Selena then went Batmane on the grunts below, destroying the weapons and the lab, before engaging in battle with Grey Rebl and his Mighty Mop. While that battle waged, Aqua and Nightshade had been able to warn the Guards of the trick, and led their forces before Princess Celestia arrived to stop Erised’s plan.

“I’ve seen the footage, you sure know how to take control of a battle kid. I’m so proud of you,” Grandbuggy beams.

“Thanks. I am pretty good at fighting after all. The majority of the time I don’t is because Dad would have a cow and freak out, but when I’m needed, you better believe I’m gonna bring the pain,” she says cheerfully punching one hoof into another.

Eventually Aqua defeated the majority of the mind controlled inmates via waterbending the water pipes in the building, and Bugze defeated Grey Rebl, whose body was then puppeted by Erised himself and aided with several of his Ink Clones.

“They tried to take over Dad’s mind and body, and they brought him and Aqua to the main office, but then I intervened, and then Mommy took care of the rest,” Nightshade hoofwaves.

Selena overtook the Ink Moth’s Hive Mind and made inert the sway his Ink Blood had on everyone who had been controlled, thus ending the battle. Within a hidden room, they found the real Erised, pale, sickly and on a gurney. Unable to handle how The Crimson Vengeance was able to win without taking a life, he attempted suicide but Bugze would not let him go that easily and kept him alive with his Power Glove until paramedics took him away. With the leaders down, the Guards secured the facility and celebrated The Crimson Vengeance and Aqua. When Princess Celestia was sited flying in, Bugze rightfully did not want to meet with her for fear of her figuring out who he really was, so Aqua caused a distraction by being the center of all the Guard’s praise while Bugze slipped into the night.

The next day, Bugze and Nightshade met Aqua at the train station for some big news. For her role in taking down the Crimson Knights, she was being awarded a medal and was offered a job by the Solar Princess. The Princess also wished to thank the Crimson Vengeance personally, but she had told her he was a very private pony. This helped somewhat, but she was still bent on rewarding Bugze’s bounty hunter avatar for his actions.

“And then came the goodbyes. I never did like goodbyes…” Nightshade trails off.

With the Crimson Knights dismantled, Bugze didn’t have an obligation to run around anymore, and he could finally return to Appleloosa. Bugze, Selena and Nightshade bid their farewells to Aqua and the partnership that took down a criminal organization was dissolved.

“Don’t be so melodramatic, it’s not like they didn’t team up again,” Grandbuggy riffs.

Yes, but that comes later. So, with the Hunt for the Crimson Knights over, The Wanted Family traveled towards the sanctuary of Appleloosa, but like usual, fate had other plans.

After walking for some days, Nightshade realized how close they were to Ponyville and wanted to stop by for a visit.

“Well yeah, that’s where all my friends are.”

Bugze of course didn’t want to risk it, but before their argument could get out of hand, someone interrupted them.

“Ugh,” Nightshade gags, “I’m still not comfortable with that jerk, even if he says he’s good now.”

“Good is a relative term. I’ve glimpsed the future and he’s not so much good, as not quite a jackass as he used to be,” Grandbuggy explains.

“Whatever. That chaos jerk still set us back a year, so I’d rather not talk to him,” she huffs and crosses her forelegs.

If you couldn’t tell, the someone who interrupted their familial squabble was Discord himself. Naturally when faced with the God of Chaos who screwed them over a year ago, Bugze, Nightshade and Selena reacted in the most predictable way possible and tried to beat him up. And shocker, it didn’t work.

“Hey, I got two good hits in,” Nightshade shouts.

Regardless, he quickly put a stop to your battle and explained that Princess Celestia had had the Deadly 6 Reform him so that he could peacefully bring in the Hooded Offender without any more bloodshed. A pretty solid plan on paper, but Discord is Discord. He said that he instead would pretend to not be able to find Bugze, as he wanted at least someone out there to keep creating chaos, as long as it didn’t involve murder. He also shocked them even more when he apologized for trying to take Nightshade hostage when the Elements were pointed at him stating that he had been desperate.

“We’ve looked down the barrel of those guns many times before, and I guess I can kind of see that,” Nightshade reluctantly agrees.

“Still, if I ever see his future timeline counterpart again, I’m putting my cigar out on his tongue for that little stunt,” Grandbuggy declares.

Even still, he announced that he would watch the shenanigans every now and again, and keep your location a secret as penance for the hostage thing. Bugze still didn’t believe Discord was really reformed, especially when he said Fluttershy was the one to do it single handedly.

“Even Discord was offended by that statement. Ms. Fluttershy is tougher than a lot of ponies give her credit for. Now if only she wasn’t so Yanderish sometimes,” Nightshade shudders.

“Hey, you can’t spell Psychotic without hot,” Grandbuggy jokes.

Anyway, Bugze rushed forth towards Ponyville to prove Discord a liar, much to Nightshade’s happiness. When they got there though, everything appeared to be fine, aside from the sea of Pinkie Pies hopping everywhere.

The slide clicks showing countless Pinkie Pie clones

Bugze immediately blamed Discord for this mess, even though Selena kept telling him she didn’t sense chaos magic, so he rushed forth to stop the chaos.

“It was more annoying than destructive, but a lot of ponies were tired of the Pinkie Pies,” Nightshade explains.

Bugze even zapped one of the poor mares, and ended up finding out they were sapient, albeit with only a basic understanding of the world. After finding out from the real depressed Pinkie Pie that the clones weren’t the work of Discord, Bugze felt himself slide into depression. When Rainbow Dash took the real Pinkie away for a test, he chased after them and witnessed something truly horrible.

“Ms. Twilight was killing them,” Nightshade sniffles. “If they couldn’t watch the paint dry, she would blow them up and send their souls back to the mirror pond. It was…it was horrible,” she shudders and Grandbuggy wraps a hoof around her shoulders.

Bugze, Selena and Nightshade were understandably shocked by this turn of events, so The Crimson Vengeance busted into the town hall, subdued the Deadly 6 and led the Pinkie Pies to freedom at the train station. He was even able to shame Twilight into realizing what she had actually been doing, which bought the Pinkie’s time to board the train. Letting them know that Appleloosa was a safe place to live, he gave out the majority of his Bounty Money to the remaining Pinkie Clones and provided one more distraction to keep the Deadly 6 from following them. Changing into his long believed dead Baker Sylvester Tennant costume, he jumped off the train, shocking the Deadly 6 enough to make them forget about the Pinkies.

“They didn’t think it was him at first, but when I popped out and ran to hug Spike, they all believed him. Boy was it good to see him again.”

“I’m sure your little coltfriend was happy to see you too honey,” Grandbuggy ruffles her mane.

“What?! H-He’s not my coltfriend Grandbuggy,” Nightshade stammers with a blush.

“Oh right, sorry. I meant your drakefriend,” he teases.

“N-no, it’s just…MOVING ON!” she hurriedly clicks the clicker, showing a stock image of Ponyville.

Naturally, the mares wanted to know how the heck BST and Nightshade were still alive after the fire supposedly took their lives, so Bugze led them back to Golden Oaks Library to tell the story, which gave the Pinkies all the time in the world to be safe.

As BST, he explained to the girls that he hadn’t meant to fake his death, but that after the Changelings kidnapped Nightshade, he moved on and stayed with his brother, who he claimed was The Crimson Vengeance. While that was going on, Nightshade was introduced to the library’s newest resident, Crackle, who had been squatting there ever since taking Spike and the girls away from the Smaug fight.

“Crackle is under the delusion that Daddy will come back for her, so she refused to leave. Or at least that’s what Spike says, I can’t understand her.”

Aside from meeting unwelcomed house guests, Nightshade also confided in Spike how it really was her back in the Crystal Empire that he’d seen. He also let her know that Applebloom had told him about the events of Sunny Town, so the two of them decided to go fill in the rest of the CMC immediately. So they rushed past the adults into the town, which got Bugze anxious. After a few more apologies and some group hugs, Pinkie decided to immediately tell the whole town about BST’s return party and ushered the others out the door to plan it after they blocked off the Mirror Pool entrance. Left to his own devices for awhile, Bugze naturally didn’t sort his priorities well and decided to track down Nightshade and Spike before anything could happen.

“I’ve told him time and time again to stop being a psycho like that. Honestly, what does he think Spike and I are going to do?” Nightshade huffs frustrated.

“Every father’s worst fear is that his little girl will end up with a guy, sitting in a tree, if you know what I mean. Unlike your Dad though I say go ahead and sit away Shade.”

“Grandbuggy!!!” she shouts and covers her face in embarrassment while the old bug laughs.

Whether it was true or not, Bugze had psyched himself up about it so much even Selena began to worry, so they set out into town. Along the way, Bugze cleverly avoided Aloe who had learned he was back, ran into Vinyl Scratch and Octavia, which went better than expected. Eventually he did make it to the treehouse where NONE of his worst fears were coming true. Instead he interrupted a pretty touching reunion between Nightshade and the rest of the CMC who were filled in about the Empire and Sunny Town, and sworn to secrecy. Luckily the CMC were just as happy to see BST back from the dead and hugged him into submission.

A few hours later, Bugze with Nightshade and the rest of the girls and Spike went to the party where BST gave his alibi and said that he was sorry everyone thought he was dead. Twilight tried to convince BST to stay for longer than a visit so that Princess Celestia could ask about his brother, so he lied and said he would. In actuality he was planning on leaving before that meeting could occur.

Then he met with Ditzy “Derpy” Do who he hadn’t seen since the events of the Otherworld, and while she was happy to see him, she felt guilty about how the Doctor had left things with him. She didn’t know what the Doctor’s final words to him had meant, and only knew that Grandbuggy and Granny Smith had been his companions way back when. She then went on to explain that she hadn’t seen him for a year, and was heartbroken because she had always thought the two had something together. Bugze comforted her as best he could.

Bugze was also cornered by Aloe, Applejack and Rainbow Dash who were still a bit upset about thinking he was dead since they all had crushes on him, so he had to play clean up duty and apologize like his life depended on it. They of course relented and forgave him, and Applejack even convinced him to help set up the farm for her Family Reunion that would be taking place soon.

“Dad sure had a lot going on at that party. All I did was eat a lot of snacks.”

“Well don’t forget when yours truly first got to finally speak to you, albeit incognito,” Grandbuggy reminds her.

“Oh Right! I had just kicked Thunderlane in the nards for trying to steal my baked goods, when an old grey stallion that I didn’t know was Grandbuggy showed up and told me I had to diversify my attack moves.”

“I taught her the all important throat punch. A move that has saved my bacon more times than I can count,” he beams.

“Yup. I then used it on Caramel’s girlfriend Sassaflass when she stole my pie while I was talking to Grandbuggy.”

Your parental advice is suspect at best.

“It’s because it ain’t parental advice, it’s Great Grandfather wisdom.”

Whatever. So while Nightshade was learning more poor lessons, Bugze and Fluttershy had a private conversation outside since she was the only one that knew BST and the Hooded Offender were one and the same. She was overjoyed to see Bugze, but she had misplaced anger for Selena who she mistakenly blamed for the destruction at the Crystal Empire and the eating of Sombra. Bugze attempted to set the record straight, but she would not concede, and so Selena came forth and said her piece to Fluttershy in brutal honesty.

“Fluttershy really doesn’t like Mommy. That’s when her Yandere look comes out the most when talking about her, and I don’t know why,” Nightshade says flabbergasted.

“It’s simple math kiddo. When two mares both like the same guy, the claws come out.”

“But that’s a stupid way to act.”

“Oh really? How do you feel when that Rarity gal is hugging Spike?”

“That Make-up Abusing Whorse Can Go Right Back to Tartarus Where She Belongs!!!” the filly shouts before her eyes go wide as Grandbuggy smiles trollishly at her. “I-I mean…Shut Up!”

Getting back on track, the two mares still had some ice between them, but the air was cleared for the time being while Bugze made peace. Afterward, the party continued on with many reunions and fun times, and for the next few days, Bugze would help set up the Apple farm for the approaching reunion. But before that happened, a certain young filly came to town…

“Uh Oh…” Nightshade says in dread as her ears wilt in guilt.

And Nightshade ended up learning a very painful lesson. She looks down and away from us as she clicks the clicker and the next slide shows a pictogram of a crying filly.

The filly that arrived was Babs Seed, Applebloom’s cousin from Manehattan who had come down a week earlier before the Reunion occurred. While initially reluctant to take part in Nightshade and the CMC’s shenanigans, they all wanted her to have a good time and they showed her the pumpkin parade float they’d made.

“We spent so long building that thing…” Nightshade whimpers.

But in the midst of showing it off, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon showed up to mock the CMC, but Nightshade wasn’t having any of it. She exited the pumpkin surprising the two fillies. They hadn’t gone to the party and had only heard rumors of BST and Nightshade returning. They had felt guilty when they thought Nightshade had died and how they left things off.

“I didn’t know! How could I have known?” Nightshade wails as Grandbuggy pats her back.

You couldn’t have. Nightshade began to harass them back and told them off. She was further reinforced by Babs Seed who joined in. The two rich fillies were shocked and scared, but Nightshade and Babs took and broke Diamond’s Tiara and Silver’s glasses, much to the shock of Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Nightshade then threatened them with her glowing eyes of anger and shoved them back into the pumpkin float which dislodged one of its wheels.
As the two fillies ran off crying, the float broke down and nearly crushed the two as well. And riding on the high of bullying, Nightshade and Babs declared it Diamond and Silver’s fault and rushed after them, chasing them through the Apple Trees.

“I…” Nightshade starts before sniffling and looking towards us with teary eyes. “I was a real jerk. I went overboard. I learned my lesson soon enough, but at the time, I actually thought I was justified and in the right…How could I ever have been so blind?”

“There there honey,” Grandbuggy comforts, “Nobody in this Universe is perfect. We all have our faults and screw ups. The only thing you can do is learn from them and hope to move on.”

Well said, and it’s a lesson she did indeed learn not long after this. But before that, the two frightened fillies had run off away from Nightshade and Babs, with the rest of the CMC looking for them to keep anything worse from happening. Luckily Bugze found the two first, and his fatherly instincts kicked in when seeing two bullied crying children and he comforted and hugged them. When the CMC showed up, they all told Bugze what had happened and he was filled with disappointment over Nightshade’s actions.

Learning that Nightshade and Babs had gone over to Diamond’s house to look for her, Bugze took the five fillies back to the Apple House and explained the story to Big Mac, Applejack and Granny Smith, and he had the CMC and the two rich fillies make amends with each other, citing that what their parents taught about getting ahead in the world was bullspit.

“Yeah, Diamond doesn’t have the best relationship with her mother…” Nightshade says sadly.

Once the girls were settled, Bugze took Big Mac with him as they went to Diamond’s House where they found the two fillies attempting to light a Molotov cocktail. Both Big Mac and Bugze scolded the two and Bugze laid down the law for Nightshade. How she wasn’t acting like a good guy, how she was being a bigger bully than they ever were.

“He went on and on until I finally saw the truth. But what was worse was that he kept blaming himself for being a bad father figure. That he showed me how to fight but not be responsible. It was some pretty deep stuff, and made me see how much of a butthead I’d been.”

Bugze and Mac then took the two back to the farmhouse where many apologies were had, from all sides. But eventually, it came time to take Diamond and Silver home. Mac and Bugze took the two fillies back to Diamond’s house, where Silver was staying while her parents were out of town.

When they got there though, they encountered Spoiled Rich and her horrifying upturned nose. Suffice to say, Bugze did not like her, or her badmouthing, or the fact that she appeared to have had a few drinks. Luckily though, Diamond and Silver met with Filthy Rich while they dealt with Spoiled. Mac and Bugze then had a chat with the Filthy, who actually turned out to be a decent pony who realized he had to change up how he raised his daughter and was very understanding of the whole situation.

“Exactly. Not every rich guy’s a jerk. Look at me. I’m a multibillionaire and I’m fine,” Grandbuggy boasts.

“You Are?” Nightshade asks intrigued.

“Well…not on this planet…” he admits.

After reaching an understanding, Filthy pretended to throw the two out to keep favor with his wife, and in Bugze’s terrible acting he accidentally threw a bottle of healing potion at Spoiled’s face, which ended up fixing her nose, which she and Filthy were extremely thankful for. That night, after returning back to his Shed, Bugze and Selena decided to give out Nightshade’s punishment in the form of a psychological Nightmare. Nightshade shudders at the memory and shuts her eyes.

She saw images of her friends abandoning and being afraid of her, of being seen as a monster and a bully. And then, she saw a past memory of a young Bugze being picked on, and then even being afraid of her. Selena didn’t let the nightmare go long though and comforted her daughter after the message was received.

“And I haven’t forgotten it either. I never want to be seen like that. I’ll never be a bully again.”

Good. Hopefully you keep to that promise. But after that after school PSA, some more lighthearted stuff came about. Nightshade, if you would.
She clicks it and the slide shows a bunch of Apple Family members dancing.

The day of the Apple Family reunion came along to Sweet Apple Acres, and with it a lot of new stalkers entered BST’s/Bugze’s radar, much to Applejack’s chagrin.

“But that means we’d be related to them too right?” asks a disgusted Nightshade.

“Eyup. Boy are things going to be awkward when that bombshell is dropped,” Grandbuggy chuckles.

Bugze of course warded off these mare’s advances, and instead hung out with Braeburn who he hadn’t seen in years. Also, a new feud was started between Bugze and Bon Bon who took all the good snacks, and Grandbuggy even showed up in disguise.

“Yeah, I went as Candy Apple. Been awhile since I changed into a mare, but most of Smithy’s extended family are mares, so it was less chance of me getting caught. I just wanted to say hi to the boy. I even made sure him and Shade here got their snacks later that night.”

You’re truly a hero to all of us you senile old bug. But anyway, through certain shenanigans, a horde of fruit bats descended upon the Reunion, which didn’t sit well with Bugze.

“Who knew Daddy was so afraid of bats? I don’t see why though, they’re adorable.”

“Might have something to do with that time I took him to that abandoned mine shaft to scare off some meddling kids and their talking dog. There were a lot of the little pests there,” Grandbuggy theorizes.

Whatever the case, Bugze freaked out and ended up destroying the Apple Barn, but luckily everyone chipped in to build a new one.
The slide clicks and it shows two stallion hooves locked in a manly shake.

Some days later, Bugze attempted to leave via train while the Deadly 6 traveled to the Crystal Empire, but Twilight had anticipated this and invited Flash Sentry to town. Thrilled by being reunited with his best Bro, Flash made Bugze miss his train and the two got to hang out.

“I anticipated that, mostly because Ms. Twilight had told me beforehand. So while Daddy was dealing with his bromance, I went to go hang out and eat cake with Spike.”

Spike was going to be watching the Deadly 6’s pets, and Nightshade had decided to pitch in and help, just so long as she got to have some cake. But then…
The next slide shows Angel, Tank, Winona, Opalescence, Gummy, and Owlowicious running amok in front of a stampede of zoo animals.

“Yeah, while dad was catching up, I had a crazy day. First I found Spike knocked out by Tank, which almost happened to me, then I integrated Mangle into the mix of animals, then I found out I couldn’t actually eat gems and I chipped my tooth, which hurt like a mother bucker.”

“But your tooth looks fine,” observes Grandbuggy before a glint comes to his eye. “Let me guess. Zebra magic?”

“Zebra magic,” Nightshade agrees.

So the young Dragon and Filly traveled with the unruly pets to go find Zecora and get her tooth fixed so that Bugze wouldn’t freak out and not let Nightshade hang around with Spike anymore. They found her fairly early, and so as not to take the animals into the Everfree, they waited at the edge by Fluttershy’s cottage till Zecora came back out. Also during this time, Angel Bunny fell in love with Mangle.

“However the heck that works,” Nightshade shrugs.

But as they traveled to the cottage, they were joined by the CMC and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon who had become friends with the group, though things were still awkward between them and Nightshade. When they got to the cottage, Harry the Bear had been throwing a party for all the animals, so the children all gushed over them. And then Angle started a bunny cult to the worship of Mangle, which caused a domino effect that led into a stampede.

“I still don’t know how that happened!”

As the animals stampeded into town, with the fillies all strapped to different animals, Bugze and Flash saw and attempted to stop it with no luck. Thankfully, one mare was able to stop it through the power of shaming.

“Ms. Cheerilee of all ponies. She gets really scary when she has to. I don’t know how Applebloom survived having her as a Sister in Law for so long,” Nightshade ponders.

“Or how Smithy’s Grandson even got away from such a mare. Let me tell ya, the strong willed ones are the hardest to leave. But by the gods, have you seen that mare in a cheerleader outfit?” Grandbuggy adds with his mouth drooling.

“Yeah, Daddy and Mr. Sentry had the same reaction,” Nightshade shakes her head in bemusement.

With the stampede stopped, Nightshade drank the tooth fixing tonic, with Bugze none the wiser and for the next few days, everyone prepared for the upcoming Derby Race.

“Oh heck ya. Me and Daddy made an awesome Derby car. We called it the Fury Dragula. We’d been watching Fury Road over and over again, so of course we had to make it metal as Tartarus, but also stylish. Daddy added in the traditional layer by making it look like something from an old show.”

“More than half the kids in your class wouldn’t be able to name the show it came from,” Grandbuggy shakes his head.

While building the Fury Dragula, Nightshade and Bugze also stopped a sister problem between the CMC and their respective Deadly 6 siblings. They simply had them switch partners so that each filly could try something different. Flash Sentry had also brought his little brother First Base to join in on the festivities. With all the cars made, the race began, and it was the most epic children’s derby race in history.

“We were sideswiping others, throwing out traps, rocking out to metal. It was awesome,” Nightshade jumps up and down in remembrance.

Their hard work and ingenuity paid off, and Nightshade and Bugze won the race, just as their cart fell apart.

“It now rides eternal, shiny and chrome on the fury road,” Nightshade salutes.

After that epicness, Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash decided to make it up to their sisters for not being their partners in the race, and so planned a camping trip which Bugze and Flash were roped into as well. And on that trip, a long hidden secret was finally revealed.

The next slide clicks into place, showing Bugze staring up at the moon with Selena at his side.

The camping trip went rather smoothly, that is after Bugze shamed Rarity for making Sweetie Belle carry all the luggage.

“She’s not even the athletic one, how the heck does that twig pull that much?” asks Grandbuggy.

“She’s tougher than she looks, all my friends are. Though even I admit McStabFlank making her pull that is a big pile of-“

ANYWAY! Everyone trekked along nicely, and at night ghost stories were told around the campfire.

“They had nothing on Sunny Town,” Nightshade boasts.

Indeed, which is why poor Scootaloo was having intense nightmares that night. Selena also sensed the presence of Princess Luna within Scootaloo’s mind and warned Nightshade from dream walking with her. So not only did Scootaloo and Nightshade not get any sleep, but neither did Bugze, Flash, and his little brother due to Rainbow Dash’s jet engine snoring. After a second day of tired traveling, the party set up camp in a cave where Nightshade knocked out Scootaloo with the Luna plushie, and with distributed ear plugs, everyone finally slept, but within the dreamscape, Bugze and Selena had the most important conversation of they’ve had.

“Hey! What are you doing Grandbuggy?” asks a confused Nightshade as the old bug plugs her ears with his hooves.

“Sorry Kiddo, but this is private info between your mom and pops.”

“But you said I wouldn’t remember anything on this recap!”

“You won’t. But while I’ll more than likely spill the beans on your genealogy this season, this is something you need to hear from your parents directly,” he points out.

“Ugh. Fine!” she huffs and crosses her forelegs.

“Alright, do your thing,” he orders as if he’s the one in charge of this story.

Selena had conjured up a peaceful Night Sky environment so that she and Bugze could talk alone. Earlier, a comment by Bugze to Sombra about covering words not lessening their truths had caused her to finally admit something to Bugze. The truth about Nightshade’s origin.

She admitted that after jumping into Bugze when he found her armor, Nightshade had been created through an act of transmutation using bits of her and Luan’s shared blood and Bugze’s. The magic used came from bits of her fractured soul, and from a wealth of Love Magic within Bugze that came from Cadence’s and Shining’s love blast.

Nightshade had been created to become the new body for Nightmare Moon herself, and was only a child because of the limited power. After draining herself and recuperating within Bugze, she saw that the body somehow had its own personality and soul, and wasn’t just a husk so she switched gears into giving Bugze power in which to protect her vessel. But as time went on, she began to see Nightshade not as a vessel, but as her own daughter which she had brought into this world. The tipping point came when Discord attacked, and she abandoned her plans of becoming flesh again via Nightshade. She would never attempt transmutation again for fear of bringing another child into this world for such a horrid goal.

After laying out this truth to Bugze, the changeling was rightly shocked and asked why she hadn’t told him this before. She tearfully admitted that she was felt tremendous guilt and shame for how she used to be, and how she thought of her precious daughter. She also confessed that she hid the truth for so long because she was afraid of Bugze hating her again, losing what they had become over the years, and viewing her for like the monster she used to be. Despite these fears though, she could not continue lying to Bugze, after all they’d been through, and would face whatever his judgment was.

And against her greatest fears, he embraced her and forgave her. He told her that who she was in the past was not who she was now. That Nightmare Moon was dead, and that Selena, the caring mother of his child that had saved his life, was the mare she truly was. No matter where Nightshade came from was irrelevant, just so long as they cared for her as they did now.

Relieved, the two took comfort in one another and gained an even more trust, and something even deeper in one another. So much so that Bugze declared that he Pinkie Promised he would find a way to give Selena a body again. While she was flattered, she also pointed out that so long as Sombra was in his head, she would not leave him alone with him. So Bugze also swore to figure out a solution for the former King they kept drugged almost daily.

After a hug that went on a little longer than either side had planned, their little tender moment was interrupted by a shout from Nightshade.

“Alright filly, we can resume listening,” Grandbuggy takes his hooves out of her ears.

“Great. Where are we?”

“You’re friend running off into the woods like a chicken with her head cut off.”

“Don’t call her chicken! She hates that,” Nightshade demands before looking back to us. “OK, so what happened was Scoots had another Nightmare and pedaled off into the dark woods, so I woke up Dad to go and get her before she got hurt.”

“Lot of good that did. My idjit boy followed the Pegasus filly into a river and right over a waterfall. The Rainbow Haired tomcolt with the tight flank caught the filly, but he plummeted and nearly drowned. Thankfully this old geezer was there to save the day.”

Although Bugze didn’t know it at the time, only seeing a shadowed shape with a familiar voice, Grandbuggy had dragged Bugze out of the river and resuscitated him. So not only did he learn the truth of his daughter and the mare in his head, but also the suspicion that his Grandbuggy was still alive somehow.

“Rainbow Dash eventually flew back with all of them, but yeesh, I’m surprised Dad was able to fall asleep again. And what do you mean by the truth about-“

“Spoilers!” Grandbuggy shouts.

“Cut that out! I hate when the Doctor says that!” she growls.

“Who do you think taught him that one?” Grandbuggy trolls.

After many revelations in one night, Bugze and Co continued on with the trip, and after that, life in general. Over the next days, he worked, had bro time, and just settled into routine like BST had done a year before. He even uncovered how Flash had been taking the wrong kind of drugs which made him more boisterous and temperamental as opposed to the calming pills he was supposed to be subscribed. Though that did little in appeasing the angry voices that still plagued him. But then came the day he knew would be their last in Ponyville.

The next slide clicks and shows the clock timer from Majora’s Mask fittingly enough.

After receiving a warning from his mysterious friend early in the morning, Bugze told Nightshade it was time to leave, and to say her goodbyes to her friends while he did the same. He had been wanting to leave for some time to avoid the dreaded meeting with Celestia so that she could ask him about his “brother” the Crimson Vengeance, and with the letter he finally had the excuse.

“I hate that stupid mysterious friend…” Nightshade scowls.

Nightshade reluctantly followed her father’s orders and sullenly went into town to say her goodbyes, though she ran into road block after road block.

“Everyone was way too busy. Applebloom was doing homework, Scootaloo was practicing with Rainbow Dash, and Sweetie Belle was helping her sister with clothes. Even Spike was busy with library chores…I thought my heart was going to break not being able to hang out with any of them one last time…”

It actually was pretty depressing…But she did end up spending the rest of the day with the two fillies whom she never would have thought would be her friends.

“Silver and Diamond kept me company. Through them I got to have some closure that day…”

And while Nightshade had one more day of fun, Bugze gave parting flowers to his frenemies, and his stalker crowd, including Octavia who had been rebuilding the Horde with Lyra as the small, devoted fan club it had started out as.

“Stalkers, Fan clubs, I’ve heard it both ways,” Grandbuggy hoof waves.

At the end of the day though, both Father and Daughter met at the train station where Flash Sentry was leaving back to Canterlot. Bugze said goodbye to his bro, while Nightshade sulked in the inventory. Early the next day, Bugze and Nightshade left for the edges of town, and Nightshade’s mood had not improved.

“You’re darn right it didn’t improve. I was leaving behind my friends again. I love Appleloosa, but I love them too.”

Trying to comfort his depressed daughter, Bugze shed his BST disguise on the edge of town, but before they could move further, a magical dome encased the town, separating the two. Panicked about possible danger, Bugze ordered Nightshade back to town, thinking it was a defensive barrier, but before she left he made her Pinkie Promise not to fight.

“I was panicked alright? Maybe if I hadn’t made that promise things would have turned out differently.”

Perhaps, but who’s to say? But no, Nightshade ran back into town, while Bugze ran into Twilight Sparkle who recognized him without his disguise, which led to a less than welcome greeting. Almost simultaneously, Father and Daughter learned the truth. The one who erected the dome was none other than Trixie Lulamoon.

Trixie had returned to Ponyville with a fancy new necklace that gave her immense power, while also degrading her mind. She believed in her warped mind that she never actually betrayed the Hooded Offender, and that she was tricked by Twilight and the rest of the Deadly 6 into putting Bugze in jail. She also declared that by taking over the town, she would be doing it in retribution for the Hooded Offender and that he would eventually come to be her friend again.

“She had completely lost it, she even had this little black and white bear that she kept talking to, and she made it talk back in a different voice,” Nightshade shivers.

So while she enslaved the rest of the town, and Nightshade was forced to hide due to her promise, Bugze naturally freaked out and tried to punch his way into the dome to no avail. Reluctantly, he and Twilight called a temporary truce and sought Zecora’s help. With little information, Zecora’s solution was to train the both of them via montage.

And while all that was going on, Bugze and Twilight were forced by Zecora to talk to each other about their grievances. Twilight laid out her problems, about how Bugze says one thing and does another, like wanting to be left alone, yet always ending up in the middle of things and making them worse, or how ponies always get hurt around him.
Bugze countered that he truly didn’t want to be in the thick of the things, and just wants to be left alone with his daughter. He admits that his faults were his own, and he had regrets, but that he wasn’t going to submit anytime soon, and how he hated how things ended up between him and the Deadly 6. He told her straight up that when they got into the dome, he WAS going to hurt Trixie. His hatred for her was too great, and ultimately it was her that set him down this path of violence. Not agreeing with each other, but with a better understanding, Bugze and Twilight continued their training.

“And while he got his noggin whacked in, this little one led a revolution,” Grandbuggy boasts with pride.

“That’s right. I gathered Spike, the CMC, and all the colts and fillies from school and we joined forces with the adults from the Horde to take down Trixie’s reign. Since none of us had the firepower she had, and because I was still keeping my promise not to fight, I led a prank war on her.”

From water balloons, to fireworks, and explosive wubs, Nightshade and her army tormented the crazed Unicorn on the streets.

“She didn’t know what hit her, and throughout it all, none of us got hit by her.”

“Well that was mostly thanks to your coltfriend saving your bacon right?” teases Grandbuggy.

“Spike’s Not My Coltfriend! Sure we spent a lot of time alone, eating and hanging out, sure we kept going to movies together and holding hooves, and sure I kissed him on the cheek when he shot that fire out and dissolved Trixie’s wild blast that almost hit me…but that doesn’t mean we’re dating…” she trails off a blush on her cheeks and Grandbuggy just smiles smugly.

“Shut Up! Point is, Spikey-I mean Spike dissolved that blast, and the war continued, but eventually we all ran out of steam when she got serious and sang a villain song…”

Quite right denier.

“Hey!”

Trixie captured the majority of the pranksters, save for Nightshade and sang a catchy number, and it was at that point that Nightshade had enough and confronted Trixie.

“I said I was Ms. Twilight’s number one pupil, which is technically true, and somehow she and I ended up in a duel, WHICH I TOTALLY WON BY THE WAY!!!” she shouts.

“Sore subject?” asks her Great Grandbug.

“I moved the freaking moon! That should have made me win by default!”

That was one of only a few things that went on in this magic duel, though no one believed that she actually moved the moon and that it was only an illusion.

“Grrr.”

But Nightshade and Trixie used their skills in magic, never once did Nightshade break her promise of fighting, but after the ping pong match Trixie called a technicality and declared herself winner.

“Bullspit!”

Rightfully angered, Nightshade almost broke her promise to fight her, as the anger that had been in her heart for so long enveloped her.

“She was the reason Daddy was always on the run. Why we were always hunted. Why I didn’t get to stay with my friends…”

As her friends attempted to hold her back, it was when a certain dragon called her by name did Trixie’s smug demeanor vanish. Recognizing Nightshade’s name, she teleported the two across town to talk. Trixie asked why she had the name of the Offender’s child, and Nightshade revealed her true alicorn form and declared herself to be his daughter. Trixie had an opposite reaction, becoming overjoyed since she had remembered seeing Nightshade while she slumbered, and was excited that Bugze was nearby. Bugze on the other hand, was not so thrilled. Having seen Nightshade in the sky giving an epic ping pong strike…

“Don’t ask.”

...He had rushed back to the dome, leaving Zecora and Twilight behind and started punching on the dome with reckless abandon, which caught the attention of Trixie and Nightshade. Teleporting over, Trixie lifted the dome, and allowed Bugze in.

“With him there, I decked Trixie across the cheek and jumped into the inventory. I knew how much dad wanted to beat her up…I regret that now…” Nightshade says solemnly.

And Bugze did what he did best. After knocking her into town, he told the citizens to evacuate as his anger brought forth the cloak, directly to Phase 3, much to the shock of the showmare. The brutal fight then began in earnest, and Bugze didn’t hold back, but even then her magic with the alicorn amulet was immensely greater than his and Selena’s. Only because of her own damaged mind, and confusion for wanting to be his friend again allowed Bugze to land blows, which slowly chipped away at her. Her confusion, and calling him a friend pushed Bugze even further into rage, and the fight spilled into the Apple Orchard where the shack he and Nightshade had staid was destroyed.

“I’ll miss that crummy little place…”

At the end of his rage, Bugze was eventually able to overpower Trixie enough to get through past the Amulet’s influence. By simply abandoning her after she’d been beaten, she took off the amulet and saw through the fog. After throwing the cursed item away, Bugze attempted to flee, but a distraught Trixie clung to him and begged for forgiveness.

She spoke about how the night she’d betrayed him was the single greatest mistake she’d ever made, and how she blamed herself for all the trouble Bugze had gone through since then. She didn’t want to bring despair to others, she had only wanted to use the Amulet to have the power to send word out so that he could return, and she could make amends. The black and white bear she carried was symbolic of the despair and hope she felt inside, and that it represented that neither she nor Bugze were fully gone past the point of saving. But the amulet twisted her intentions. Tearfully she begged for forgiveness and to be friends again…but…

“The boy made another big mistake. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive, and let the festering hurt go…” Grandbuggy shakes his head in grief.

Bugze refused to forgive her, but he did not shout. He plainly told her that it was far too late for them to start over again, and that ultimately, it was Trixie that ruined his life. What little hope she’d held onto was squashed at this declaration, and the despair fully enveloped her. Seeing herself as the root of everyone’s problems, she came to the wrong epiphany. That if she were not around, everyone from Bugze, to the citizens in Ponyville would have much happier lives. And before Bugze could stop her, she picked up a shard of crystal he’d bent and…well she…

“She tried to kill herself,” Nightshade finishes looking down. “Mom told me afterwards, you don’t have to sugar coat it. Heck, I shouldn’t even say tried, she did kill herself, because she didn’t come back without help.”

Yeah…Trixie stabbed herself in the stomach, and Bugze attempted to save her. He frantically told her that he did forgive her, but by then, she did not believe, and told him he didn’t have to pretend to care for her. Begging forgiveness for being a monster, her heart stopped beating in his arms, and that is how the Deadly 6 and the rest of the town came upon him holding her lifeless body.

“Oh boy…” Nightshade sighs in unhappiness.

“It’s alright kid, I’ve got this part,” he pats her shoulder before looking back to us.

“My boyo was reeling from shock, I mean, how could he not be holding a dead mare? A dead mare who said ending her life was to make him happy. The evil shadowy turd king in his mind took this opportunity to overwhelm his psyche by unloading all of his repressed guilt over the last three years at once, and this turned him near catatonic. And then…then…Aw buck, I can’t talk about this either,” the old bug shudders. “Take it away narrator, we’ll stay silent,” he assures as she wraps a leg around the filly’s shoulders.

OK. I’ll try to be quick. Sombra had told Bugze previously that he kept the guilt somewhat suppressed because it amused him, but he had been storing it for such an occasion to get Bugze killed and release him. After months of being kept prisoner and drugged nearly every day, he took his opportunity to strike when Bugze and Selena forgot to sober him up. With Bugze’s mind all but gone with remorse, and Selena floundering in the shockwaves and unable to communicate, he begged the horrified towns folk to save Trixie. Several doctors rushed to her, but their prognosis was grim, and said it would take a miracle. And just at that moment, they were teleported to the hospital with the showmare’s body.

Princess Celestia had shown up on her planned arrival in the town, which Bugze had desperately been trying to avoid. Angered and saddened that her plan with Discord to avoid more bloodshed had seemingly failed, she demanded to know why Bugze did the things he did, but he could not answer as he was broken. Picking up Trixie’s bloodstained bear plush, he droned on and on that he deserved this, and just gave up. Princess Celestia passed judgment upon him, and handed out the Elements of Harmony to the Deadly 6 who all began to power up, even Fluttershy who believed everything was Selena’s fault.

At the crux of their power, Bugze all but embraced his doom, but the mare in his head would not let him go down that easily. Selena took control of Bugze’s body, and lashed out with her power, interrupting the Element charge up, and dispelling Celestia’s holding magic. She then began shouting through his mouth that “They Wouldn’t Take Him!” and defiantly struck a defensive pose. With this declaration came a turning point as Celestia recognized the voice coming out of the changeling’s mouth.

She angrily declared that it was Nightmare Moon inside the changeling, which shocked all of the townsfolk and especially the Deadly 6, and Selena who realized her mess up. Celestia then demanded that Selena “Release” her puppet, but she refused and after using Bucking Bronco on everypony, she teleported Bugze deep into the Everfree.

There she tried to reach Bugze, but he was too far gone. Angry and tearful, she lashed out at Sombra for what he had done, and after defiant back talk from the king, she let him know that he had just screwed up his own plan for getting free. Since Sombra had never been hit by the Elements of Harmony, she told him how they served to erase all darkness in their path, which would include him. And now they would always try to use them on Bugze because they were no longer hunting him, but her.

She then locked Sombra deeper away into the subconscious and placed Bugze’s consciousness into the same bed she’d laid comatose in. Promising him that she would fix this, she took direct control and made a path for the Grandbuggy’s bunker to weather out the storm. Along the way, she filled Nightshade in on what had happened.

“I’m glad she told me the truth,” she speaks up suddenly. “After being kept in the dark for so long, it was nice to know the full story…even if it was horrible. I swore I would help Daddy get better, and that I would confront Sombra over what he’d done. I had hated Trixie, but I never wanted her dead.”

“Thankfully Sunbutt’s interference did serve one good purpose,” Grandbuggy chimes in. “That showboating mare was saved and in a coma. Though my boy and his family didn’t know that.”

While Selena and Nightshade stayed in the Bunker, the mood of everyone else changed drastically. Princess Celestia was convinced that Nightmare Moon, not Bugze, was the true mastermind over the last three years of chaos, and that Bugze was just another victim like Luna had been. Her thoughts were shared by everyone else from the Deadly 6, to Shining Armor, and even Cadance and the Military. So sure of themselves, the new plan changed from stopping the Hooded Offender, to saving him and finally ending the threat of Nightmare Moon. Discord himself already knew this secret, but didn’t give it up, and Celestia changed his orders (which she thought he was still following) from confronting Bugze, to only observation and reporting due to Nightmare Moon’s involvement.

Later, in a Top Secret Super Max prison, Shining Armor had quizzed all the captured Knight Leaders about the Offender, but they had no clue about where his power came from, so he dropped the ball on them. Dumbfounded at technically being Cultist’s of Nightmare Moon, they were told that with the influx of three hundred of their fellow Knights turning themselves in, they would be shipped out to a new complex in the near future. All of this happened over the course of a few weeks, and in that time, Selena and Nightshade had attempted to cure Bugze of his ailment.

“I also confronted Sombra in that time. He was chained up in his cell in Dad’s head, and he looked like he had given up as well.”

Nightshade had asked him again and again why he did what he had done, the hurt evident in her voice. She asked if her Friendship had meant anything to him, and surprisingly, he held guilt within his voice.

“Not for Dad though, but for me,” Nightshade corrects. “He told me that me being his friend had only served to remind him of the one friend he had ever had, and how he hated feeling like that again. He told me the full story of what Radiant Hope had done, and how she had betrayed him, and how he had left her to age and die alone as the only Crystal Pony in the world. He said that it wasn’t worth it to feel like that again.”

Regretful over his breaking of Nightshade’s trust, he told her to leave him to his solitude, and no matter how much she begged him to reconsider, he stopped speaking.

“Mom eventually came in and sent him back to the depths, and he didn’t raise any kind of fuss about it. She told me that sometimes you can’t reach everyone. But I told her I wouldn’t give up so easily. But first, we had to get dad better.”

It took some time, but eventually Mother and Daughter were able to chip away at the guilt that had overwhelmed Bugze by letting him know that he was still loved and get him out of his haze, though he still refused to take back control of his body.

“But that guilt was about to be lessened greatly on the morning of one of my top ten most chaotic days ever, when someling from the past dropped by my bunker,” Grandbuggy mutters and clicks the slide, showing a circle with a shadowy figure in it.

“Mom and I were preparing to leave the Bunker to gather more food when the knocking came at the door. Using the monitors, we saw who it was. It was the pink haired changeling who’s buddies had kidnapped me last year.”

“Cinnamon “Sin” Sugar,” Grandbuggy reads off. “Former popular girl in school turned exceptional drone officer. Can’t say I ever liked her, what with the crap they put my boyo through.”

Despite what had happened in the past, the site of her at the door was enough to lift Bugze from the Haze enough to want to come forth into his body again. Someone he had thought had died due to his actions was alive and well, and at that moment, it was what he needed.

“Mom and Dad made me hop in the Inventory, didn’t want to take any chances they told me. It wasn’t the time to argue, so I did, but me and Mangle listened to their whole conversation.”

Selena and Bugze invited the mare in, who said something profound. They’d found where the rest of the Hive and Queen Chrysalis were being held, and they needed his help to free them.

“And boy were Mom and Dad surprised at that. She even said it didn’t matter if “Nightmare Moon” was in control, they really needed his help.”

Leading her into the living room, Bugze and Selena began to speak to Sin…that is after a very, very heartfelt apology to her over the dragon incident. She wasn’t at all prepared by the apology and was taken aback. She explained that they all had survived, though they had been scarred heavily. She sported claw marks across her face, Vicky’s wings had been slashed into uselessness, Biff and Tannen had body scarring, with one missing an ear, and Mongo had lost his voice due to a slashed throat. Though only serving to make Bugze feel worse, she ensured him that they were all fine, and better in fact since they found the Queen.

After reassuring Bugze enough times, she began to apologize herself for their actions, and told him that the Queen had ordered her to come to him for help after the Trixie incident. For months, the Five had been organizing a prison break out, and each of them had become bound to Chrysalis, meaning they were now high ranking officers, but also directly linked to her, meaning she could see and hear through their bodies, and would get extreme power boosts from the entire hive. Bugze told her, for the first time taking over his body, that if he were to help, then she and the others would have to abide by his rules. He wanted to ensure that in this break, No Pony would be harmed at the prison, and that Chrysalis would be left behind. He would help free the imprisoned and starving, but that he didn’t owe anything to Chrysalis. Sin was confused by this, since she claimed that the Queen and Bugze used to be friends. The fog in Bugze’s memories lessened somewhat and he kept seeing flashes of his larvaehood, but he was still adamant…until Sin placed a magic disk on the counter and the Queen herself had a chat with him.

“Little Prissy Chryssy all grown up,” Grandbuggy spits in disgust. “I always told him she was a bad egg.”

Chrysalis was pale and malnourished, as were many of the imprisoned hive, but even still she demanded that Bugze help save their kind. Bugze didn’t want to help if ponies were to be hurt, but she justifiably pointed out how much their own kind were hurting BECAUSE of the ponies. Bugze was understandably rude to his former Queen, but she kept at it, trying to use their past as motivation. While talking to her, the fog in Bugze’s mind lifted on many of his larvaehood memories, and he remembered that he and Chrysalis used to be friends. She had been his only friend clear up until high school where she distanced herself, and it was revealed that she was the mare at the school dance that had orchestrated his embarrassment. Apparently her mother’s tutelage of not interacting with her lessers finally sank in. Angered at her betrayal, she had one more bombshell to drop. She had killed him.

“Turns out the little whorse had ended him when he was giving Cousin Cadence food,” Nightshade grits her teeth.

“He wasn’t dead for long thank the gods. I don’t know if I could go through with that again like I did for his parents,” Grandbuggy grimaces.

Turns out Chrysalis hadn’t gone completely from their former friendship, because she used an ancient artifact and bound it to Bugze’s heart to get it beating again. The Nightmare Jewell, which had been created by Nightmare Moon a thousand years ago was used to bring him back to life. Hearing this, certain mysteries began to make sense to both Bugze and Selena. How she was so easily able to bond to him three years prior when she was but a shadow of a soul, how memories of his past were fuzzy due to being clinically brain dead for a time, and why his blood was Midnight Blue instead of the usual changeling green. After all these revelations, Bugze was filled with determination and told Chrysalis that the changeling she killed was dead, and that he was Bugze, and because he could still see the desperation and even guilt in her face, he chose to do the right thing and save the starving changelings, but on HIS terms.

As he had for Sin, he told Chrysalis that if he was going to help, no one at the prison would be hurt, and that things should change between the changelings and ponies. Also, that after it was all done, he and his daughter would be left alone. Chrysalis seemed a bit ticked off at hearing about Nightshade, and learning that Bugze was a father, but she hastily shook this off and agreed to Bugze’s demands. She then allowed Sin to reveal the rest of the plan, and bid Bugze farewell, saying she eagerly awaited him.

Sin, a bit overjoyed then explained to Bugze the plan. With him in the lead, and backed by her and the other four, they would lead their forces in a quick assault on the prison, freeing all the prisoners, and escaping. When asking where they would get the numbers to do such a thing, she claimed that they had 300 changeling drones to help as well. When he asked where she had found those numbers, she dropped yet another bombshell.

“There were a lot of those that morning,” Nightshade muses.

“And they didn’t end there,” Grandbuggy adds.

It turns out, the 300 changelings were in fact the Crimson Knights who had “Surrendered” when their leaders were captured. You see, the Crimson Knights hadn’t actually been a real organization for many many months. Every member was actually a changeling that had been cut off from the Hive, and they had used the Knights as cover to hide their presence. They put the Generals Bugze had taken out in charge due to each of them being incompetent and nuts, while they followed their own agenda.

“They’d been Hydra’d,” Nightshade exclaims.

“Didn’t see that coming did ya chumps?” Grandbuggy smirks cheekily.

With their resources, Sin, Mongo, Vicky, Biff and Tannen were able to also upgrade themselves even further with the plasmids created at Arkhay Asylum. Sin had lightning powers, Mongo had immense brute strength, Vicky had telekenisis, and the twins had fire and ice. So on top of being the Queen’s chosen, they also had powers that couldn’t be stopped by magic alone.

After the Crimson Vengeance messed things up by taking out the leaders, the changelings “turned themselves in” so that they could overcrowd the Classified prison where they were kept, and a new one would be built for them to be transported to. Thanks to their meddling, they had it built in the badlands, and the ponies unknowingly would be transporting their enemies closer to their goal.

Once they broke out of the train, all they would need to do is consume the love of ponies in the closest town between the rail line and the prison where Chrysalis and the Hive were kept. Bugze objected to this, but Sin insisted that it was vital, stating that not only would the three hundred need enough love to fight, but also to give to the starving imprisoned who would need the energy to escape, but Bugze refused to budge. And then came the kicker. The town that was going to be consumed for it’s love was Appleloosa.

“Friggen Bugs,” Nightshade huffs.

That was when Bugze declared that there had to be another way, and that Appleloosa couldn’t be sucked of it’s love. Disappointed, Sin revealed that that option was too late since that part of the plan had already gone into effect twenty minutes prior.

The last slide clicks and we show two opposing forces, one side with the Sin and her Changelings, and the other side, Bugze and the Crimson Knights.

Angered over the attack on his one true home, Bugze then declared that the deal was off, and tried to head off to Appleloosa immediately, but Sin stopped him. Upset and confused over his inability to do what she and the others thought necessary, she said that she couldn’t allow him to interfere if he wasn’t going to help. Before a fight could even break out, she shocked him in the horn, and stuck a piece of the old changeling throne to Bugze’s chest, which cancelled out all other magic aside from his innate abilities, which had never been good. Saying that only she could remove the stone, she said that the Queen, and even she had really wished to have his help to ensure things went smoother, but that things had to proceed. They would come back for him if all went according to plan. She then declared that she forgave him before knocking him out.

“And she slimed up the Inventory, meaning I couldn’t hop out and help,” Nightshade adds.

“And she welded my dang bunker door shut. That ain’t cheap ya know?”

But while Bugze was knocked out and powerless, someone did come to his aid. Someone in a big blue box, and no it wasn’t the Doctor.

“I didn’t know who it was at first. All I knew was he was some old Changeling in a nice hat with Aqua, some handsome stallion, and a recolor of Cadence,” Nightshade admits.

“That’s OK kiddo, I had to save the dramatic reveal for when he woke up now didn’t I” Grandbuggy winks.

That’s right. Grandbuggy gathered Bugze into the TARDIS, which he was driving incidentally, and he wasn’t alone.

“Torchwood, Jack’s own little gang of do-gooders.”

Captain Jack, the immortal stallion and friend of the Doctor, and his team of Aqua, and Mia, who was actually the Cadence from the otherworld with her memories erased, her fur and mane a different color, and a new lease on life. They all came to Bugze’s defense.

“When I made my grand reveal, I geeked out over this little adorable punching machine,” he pats Nightshade, “And when the boy woke up, he was sure happy to see me.”

“He punched you really really hard though,” Nightshade points out.

“As I said, Happy to See Me…”

Grandbuggy explained how they were all going to come to the aid of Appleloosa, but as they were in a Time Machine, they had enough time to get reacquainted and to plan. Grandbuggy explained that after he’d been exiled, he had launched himself to the moon to quote, “Bang the Mare in the Moon Before he died.”

“Ya, so imagine my surprise when I didn’t even leave the atmosphere, got picked up by the Doctor in a younger form, told me my Grandson needed my help and described what he’d been through in my absence. Although on the plus side he did get to that Mare in the Moon before I could, heh heh.”

That’s not quite what happened and you know it. But yeah, Grandbuggy had been saved all those years ago, and had been picked up by the present Doctor who warned him of the Appleloosa invasion. Naturally, Grandbuggy had some objections.

“I was downright pissed. I’d told the Doc to watch over the boy when I was exiled, but then I hear about all the crap he’d gone through and was still going through, so I did the only logical thing at the time.”

He kicked the Doctor out of the TARDIS the day of the Invasion (which explained his absence for the past year and why Derpy thought he’d left her), and used it to go back in time and look over Bugze and Nightshade in the time where he knew where they’d be.

“Which explains how I was at all those locations incognito while they were in Ponyville. Everything in a nice neat bow right? You think you’re so clever,” he complains to the narrator who all but pays his salary.

So after some sleuthing, Grandbuggy gathered Torchwood, got Bugze, and then they were on their way to get the Doctor, whom it would seem like only minutes since he had been kicked out.

“Dad took that all in rather well I think. But I think when you told him about Trixie still being alive is what really got him,” Nightshade says pointedly.

“He all but broke down in happiness, knowing her death wasn’t on his shoulders, and I let him cry it out. I then gave him a bit of a pep talk about the importance of choice, and that he had to choose how his emotions effected him, and not to be controlled by them completely. That seemed to work, but he also let me know that even if she was still alive, he had pushed her to the edge, and that he would learn from his mistakes.”

Bugze then met with the others, and after a happy reunion with his old bounty hunting partner, he met Jack, who kept hitting on him, causing Grandbuggy to momentarily kill the horn dog.

“That wasn’t traumatizing at all seeing a guy killed with a hatchet then come back to life like it was nothing. Nope, not at all,” Nightshade’s voice drips sarcasm.

And after a few nervous missteps, Bugze was able to meet with Mia, and face the mare who had almost killed him. As he spoke with her, he realized she was a completely different pony. She was Cadence to a point in her memories, but after her ascension, she had been given new ones. Ones that took over the horror she had gone through in the other world. Mia was kind, happy to meet him, and by her own admission, a Heavy Shipper.

Once the meet and greet was over, it came time to plan. They would split into teams, infiltrate the dome, keep the Chosen Five and their troops busy while another group rescued and evacuated the civilians. The Doctor would take out the relay points outside that were keeping the dome up, and when that was accomplished, the TARDIS would send out it’s own signal, turning it into a dome that would keep the Changelings in. They then picked up an irked Doctor, and filled him in.

“I was told to stay on the TARDIS and watch over the civilians, when all I wanted to do was help out and kick some butt, but Dad wouldn’t have it,” Nightshade laments. “He didn’t want me in ANY battle anywhere near Appleloosa. I didn’t understand why he was so scared by this, but then he and Mom took me aside and they told me about what had happened in that other dimension. A part of me kind of wishes they’d never told me…but I finally understood why Dad had been so paranoid for me that year.”

“That’s life kid. But you had your part to play, just like everyone else. Including all those idiots on the inside,” Grandbuggy smirks.

The idiots on the inside being The Crimson Knight Leaders themselves. You see, while Bugze was busy getting knocked out and rescued, and planning in Time and Space, the Knights had been putting up a resistance. When the train breakout had occurred, they had been confronted by Changelings who had been disguised as their guards, and they were told the truth. That for the last year, they had been nothing but patsies, leaders of nothing, and played for fools. They then said that they would be used for one last bit of usefulness and drained of their love.

The Knights were of course very shocked at this turn of events, but more so were they pissed off. Especially after the Changelings revealed how they had orchestrated everything about them, including their many falling outs which occurred when Changer had “died” in the Zeppelin accident. More than a little irked, Brown Dog, Grey Rebl and Rutherford broke out of their bonds, beat the crap out of those guards and freed the others. They then started to organize their own plan while they heard the chaos going on outside, with Brown Dog surprisingly taking up a leadership role which all but confused everyone, including himself.

They broke out of the train and headed towards a safe haven to shore up and defend, which turned out to be the local Tavern, using the still comatose Kersey’s body as a shield and weapon. Their goal was to find some of the actual guards from the train to get the magic restraining shackles off of their magical heavy hitters like Silver, Changer, and Erised, and in their mad dash, Appleloosan towns folk followed them to safety. Then came an intense round of what was essentially Neighzi Zombies as the Knights protected panicked civilians, and fought for survival, even calling a truce with the few real guards from the train. They even made allies out of a group of Pinkie Clones, who had been living in Appleloosa since Bugze had saved them. Eventually the Knights got their shackles off, and even got their cloaks and gear back.

Together, Brown Dog, Snap Drake, Kichi, Grey Rebl, Rutherford, Changer, Solarkness, Kersey (still comatose), Candy, Silver Strange and Erised the Ink Moth all joined hooves/claws/paws, and together, after so long of being apart, they were finally unified as the band of rejects they’d always been. And together, they were able to make due and last out the Changelings for the first Twenty Minutes, which got the attention of Biff, Tannen, Vicky and Mongo. So much so that they even offered them a chance to just walk away, since they were the only ones really putting up a resistance. The Knights refused, and they kept fighting, even though the bar began to crumble, and they knew it was a losing battle, until the TARDIS showed up in their midst and Mia put up a defensive barrier around it.

That’s when Bugze, dressed as the Hooded Offender, walked out of the TARDIS, shocking them and causing them all to have mixed emotions, especially when he told them the plan he’d come up with and how there would be No Killing. Any reservations most of them felt were washed away by desperation, awe, or the fact that Grandbuggy was also there.

“The changelings in that group who were in the know how understood my glory,” he boasts. “Also, my boy offered them the promise of a freedom of sorts. Not absolute freedom, but something far better than what the Equestrians had put them through.”

And so, four groups were created to deal with Four Changeling Leaders outside before Sin arrived. Brute Strength vs Mongo, Elemental powers vs the twins, and those best at running vs Vicky. They would distract the changelings while Grandbuggy, Jack and Mia rescued the citizens.

“And then they did just that. I had enough time to get all those poor cocooned souls into the TARDIS, along with anypony else left standing, while the Doctor and his group of Buffalo helped take down the relays. And honestly, the distractions worked so well because neither side really gained an advantage, despite taking a lot of lumps.”

Bugze and Aqua had joined the Elementals against the twins, and even they hadn’t gained any ground, what with Bugze having his Cloak and Shadow powers suppressed by the throne stone. The Runners gave Vicky a massive headache, and the Powerhouses kind of just got the crap beat out of them by the roided out Mongo. It was then that the Knights employed their last minute weapon. Earlier Erised used his blood magic and found out that Kersey still had some growth serum in his blood, and so, in desperation, Brown Dog awoke Kersey, insulted him, and had him grow. Though shorter than his debut in Fillydelphia, he was still as tall as a building. Angry at the diamond dog, and everything in his way, he started smashing any changeling that got in his way. He was eventually taken down, but it bought even more time, and had the added benefit of thinning out the drone numbers even more. Unfortunately Sin arrived during this time, having defeated the Buffalo outside, and she engaged in battle with Chrysalis watching through her eyes.

With everyone regrouped, Bugze, Aqua, and the Knights clashed with the Five. Eventually the Doctor was able to get the last relay point, and the dome changed to TARDIS blue. Utterly devastated at the loss of the battle, and realizing that they now no longer had the forces to free the hive, Chrysalis declared that Bugze had sealed every changelings deaths. Deciding that if the hive were to die, she would at least take him out, or at least punish him, she flooded the Five with all the will of the Hive Mind. It caused their bodies to become more powerful, but it was steadily killing them. It was then that Bugze realized that if he were to save them, he would have to utterly, and totally beat them.

Taking out his Jetstream Sam sword, which was a reversed bladed high frequency sword,

“Password for opening: Rorouni,” Grandbuggy quips.

He used the blade to slice into his own chest, cutting the stone off of it, and earning him yet another deep seated scar, but he did so willingly.

“He and Mom had to save those guys from their own stupid selves,” Nightshade nods. “He had no other choice.”

With the full power of the cloak finally back to him, Bugze engaged the Five in an epic battle, while the injured Knights took refuge within the TARDIS with everyone else. Repeatedly, Bugze would get through to the conflicted sides of the Five, only for the Chrysalis’s control to squash it. With the clock ticking, Bugze went all out, but even with Selena’s help, the Five were too much for him, and they began to lose control and go into Phase 4, the same mindless beast from the Crystal Empire.

“I saw him losing it on the monitors in the TARDIS. We all did,” Nightshade shudders at the memory. But then Grandbuggy took me aside and told me something important.”

“I told her that there was someone else that could still help her Dad win this fight.”

Nightshade immediately understood and entered the dreamscape. While Bugze and Selena struggled with the Five, she confronted Sombra within his prison, and begged him for help. Even with the prison bars and his chains destroyed, at first he declined.

“I had to all but slap him upside the head. He had given up, but I hadn’t. I let him know I had forgiven him, and when he asked why I told him because that’s what friends do,” Nightshade says in determination. “I let him know that if he ever considered me a friend, that he would help mom and dad right then and there.”

Nightshade’s motivation finally sparked Sombra into action, telling her to wake up, he willingly gave his powers to Bugze and Selena who were able to keep Phase 4 under control, only it wasn’t quite Phase 4. With the added power, willingly given, Bugze reached his true peak of power, the Awakened Form. Crystaline wings of many colors replaced the batwings, along with his horns, tusks and claws being covered in a crystalline layer. The cloak itself became a solid grey, where as it had been deepest black before. Sombra only claimed that he did this for Nightshade’s sake, but hehis help brought new powers to the fold. With three minds working together, Bugze was able to use this form to turn the tides. It was no cake walk, and the Five still fought all out, but one by one, Bugze was able to defeat them. But even knocked out, they were still dying. The only way for him to win, was to enter the Hive Mind itself, and so he did.

Within the Hive Mindscape, Bugze encountered the shadowy forms of the three hundred drones, along with the five, and Chrysalis herself. The former queen by this point had gone off the deep end, going full Yandere on Bugze, insisting that she could still be joined with him and his new power, but then immediately saying that she hated him for dooming everyling to die. And to this, Bugze made an epic speech to them, about the power of choice, and the hard decision that is forgiveness. He asked for forgiveness from all of his former bullies, for what he had done to them, and encouraged them to see the goodness still left within them and to not let it die. He was successful, and Sin and the rest turned against Chrysalis, who lost it. As the Hive Mind flared with her madness, Bugze, with his connection to Selena used his ultimate trick. Remembering and realizing that back at the cave, he had controlled the others with the Insect Swarm plasmid, which also manifested their angry rants via his own anger, he knew that he could control the Hive Mind. But he didn’t control it this time. This time, he broke it.

Shattering the Hive Mind released the chosen and the rest of the Changelings from it’s bond, and saved their lives. Back in the waking world, Bugze stood victorious, and though Appleloosa had been seriously damaged, not one life had been taken. Out of the TARDIS, every single citizen came out to view him, and he lowered his hood, showing the townsfolk that he was the Bugze they all remembered. He declared to them that Nightmare Moon no longer existed, and that Selena, the Princess of the Night had helped save them all, as well as the Crimson Knights. He ordered everyone to gather the wounded, and to help put every changeling into the TARDIS. The few remaining conscious guards followed suit, thankful for getting out of this situation in one piece.

“I have never been so proud of daddy as I was in that moment. He finally had people looking at him and Mom as the heroes they are,” Nightshade says wistfully.

“And it was about dang time,” Grandbuggy agrees. “And as everyone was following his orders, we helped the wounded, put the Changelings into the TARDIS, and took a trip to the Changeling prison.”

There, Bugze had Mia give out enough love to revitalize many of the starving, and he gave them a choice. For the family and friends and anyone else who wanted change and freedom, they were welcome to come with him, but for those that wanted to stay with Chrysalis, that would be their choice, with no Hive Mind compelling them. A vast majority actually chose to be loyal to their queen, but a good percentage took Bugze up on his word, and were reunited with their friends and family within the TARDIS. Bugze then bid Chrysalis a terse goodbye, with Selena berating her for good measure. His last words to her was for her to be happy. Since her mind had slipped a little, she clearly missed the point of that, and instead began concocting a scheme.

“Of course she would miss the point,” Grandbuggy shakes his head. “Well after that trip, we dropped the Changelings three years into the future where ol Antler head and his trippy colors could deal with them.”

“Who?” asks Nightshade.

“King of the changelings, kind of a wimp but he’s got a good heart, even if he’s painted like a pansy.”

“Oookaaay?” Nightshade says unsurely.

“You don’t need to worry about him. But yeah, me and the Doc then had a talk, and he let me know he was gonna be mortal for awhile because it turns out the dummy had a filly with that cute wall eyed mare he kept around. He had only found out recently do to time shenanigans, but because I’d kicked him out, he hadn’t been able to tell her for like a year…I kind of feel guilty for that.”

“So wait, the Doctor isn’t going to be around this season?” Nightshade asks in surprise.

“Nope, not as he usually is. He’s going blue boxless and staying in Ponyville. Can’t say I blame the guy. Sometimes it’s good just to sit back and relax with family.”

The Doctor also rather ominously warned about earning “HER” wrath and attention even more now that you were back. Care to enlighten?
The old bug frowns at that,

“Sorry bud, but that’s spoilers.”

Oh fine! Well after that crypticness, Bugze and company then offered the Knights a choice for all their hard work in saving Appleloosa. They could be free as long as they became Agents of Torchwood. All but two of them agreed to this. Erised, who stubbornly couldn’t accept forgiveness and non lethalness, and Kersey who did what haters did best…which is hate. The former ended up in a pocket watch by the Doctor who gave it to Jack, while the latter ended up on an abandoned planet with healthy food and documentaries, truly a fate worse than death. And so, the Knights exited the story with a future to look forward to.

Bugze then visited Trixie within her comatose dreamscape, and asked for her forgiveness, letting her know that he forgave her in kind. He told her to never give up on hope, and that when she woke up, to let the doctors and psychiatrists help her. Calling her a friend, Trixie was able to forgive herself somewhat and had the power to wake up. Bugze and family then exited back to Appleloosa where they helped rebuild the town, and the guards kept their secret. The story about how the Crimson Knights were actually Changelings spread, and even the so called leaders were covered by Torchwood by being possibly K.I.A.

With a hopeful outlook on life, Bugze declared to Selena that their next step was to get her a body, and possibly Sombra as well, since he’d come a long ways with helping them win the day. With this plan in mind, a tender moment occurred, only to be shattered by some devastating news. Twilight Sparkle had ascended into an Alicorn, and been crowned the Princess of Friendship.

“I STILL CALL BULLSPIT ON THAT!!!” comes the erratic voice of the main character as the orange haired changeling somehow bursts forth through the stage in a splinter of wood.

“Daddy?!” Nightshade exclaims in surprise.

“What the heck you doin boy? We don’t own this thing, it’s a rental!” Grandbuggy chides.

“WHO CARES?!! SPARKLE IS A PRINCESS! WHAT HOPE DO RENTALS HAVE TO STOP HER?!!” His voice then changes to an annoyed flabbergasted feminine voice.

“Bugze, there’s nothing we can do about that now, but for the love of me just stop screaming,” Selena implores.

“No, keep screaming bug. Scream until you pass out!” Sombra says cruelly.

“NEVER! WOULD YOU KINDLY BURN?!” he yells as he sets the stage on fire and runs off. Nightshade sighs at this and looks back to us as the fire starts spreading.

“Now you know why he wasn’t helping recap. But anyway, that’s all that really happened, and I’m excited to see what we get up to in Season 4.”

“Well said Shade. But yeah, say whatever segue you got left narrator, me and the kid need to go bonk that idjit in the head a few times.” He then looks to the rest of us and says, “Good Luck you ugly motherbuckers.” He then plops Nightshade on his back as the two of them rush off the fire consumed stage after the screaming Bugze.

And well, I guess it’s best they don’t hear these plot points, even if they won’t remember them. Somewhere near the Crystal Empire, Radiant Hope exited the realm of the Umbrum (Sombra’s people) with the sole mission of finding and saving her friend.

Elsewhere, in some sort of secret base, the true mastermind behind a lot of Bugze’s pain was revealed to be the “friend” who kept writing him letters. He was an earth pony named DWC, and he swore that by Lady Luck, Bugze and everyone he loved would continue to suffer. He even had some loyal henchmen he claimed were the true Crimson Knights, and that they had a secret weapon built from parts of Strong Head’s mech. Also, DWC was shown to have a rallying point for these devoted nutjobs. A badly injured and scarred stallion inside a cryogenic healing tube, with cybernetic parts replacing his damaged ones.

Flag Burner.

And, because I the narrator couldn’t get enough shocks, there was one more. In the future, all the Changelings and their families from Appleloosa were under the care of the future Changelings led by King Thorax. Sin felt the happiest she’d ever been in her life, until a bomb was dropped on her. According to Thorax, The Hooded Offender had perished in battle two years previously, dying a hero…

And on that ominous note, the recap is finished. Is the future set in stone, or can destiny be changed? Only time will tell. For right now though, the family is still upset about the coronation of Twilight Sparkle, even months later, but they do have a goal in mind, To get Selena and Sombra their own bodies. A goal which Captain Jack has some leads on. A goal that has solutions in ancient artifacts scattered around Equus, and through a magical mirror to an alien, but familiar world…

Now, with that in mind, maybe we should evacuate before the fire consumes us all? Remember, screaming helps you run faster.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Author's Notes:

23,715 Words Condensing nearly 600,000. You're Welcome

Episode 1: Through the Looking Glass

“I have a rendezvous with death…” you whisper as you stride weary and slowly towards your impossible foe.

“At some disputed barricade, It may be that he shall take my hoof,”

You raise your burnt and tattered power glove in front of you, the only line of defense you have left.

“And lead me into his dark land,”

The landscape around you is burnt and the air is full of smoke, but you continue onward. You have to.

“And close my eyes, and quench my breath…”

You tear the tattered and useless Nobody Cloak from your back and it falls to the scorched earth. There’s no more reason to hide.

“I have a rendezvous with death.”

You stop before the monster before you and look it in the eye.

“And I to my pledged word am true…”

You let the power come forth, one last time.

“I shall not fail, that rendezvous…”

Finishing the mantra that has plagued you over this last year, you plunge forth into your final battle.

There were many events that led you to this moment. Events that were set in motion with every decision you made, events that have been twisted by Lady Luck, events that were all interconnected. All of these many and varied events, have led you to your end.
…
…
…

It wasn’t all bad…

“It’s literally Tartarus on Equus out there, and you want to have this talk now?!” you yell at the weakened Princesses.

“You know what?! Buck you and your Lady Luck you freaking psychopath!” you yell at your “friend.”

“Lady, I’m not keeping your boyfriend hostage! If you’d just talked to me and not created the Legion of Doom, you’d know that!” you chide the Crystal Pony.

“Spike, you have permission to marry my daughter,” you say breathlessly looking at all the fiery debris.

“Wait, What?” he asks taken aback.

“This is just a rehash of your own plan! You have no originality!” you yell at your old foe.

“Says the guy wearing the same cloak after all these years,” he shoots back.

“Well…Shut Up!”

“No Pie! No Filly Filet! Just hoof sandwiches!” Nightshade yells out.

“Well that sounds yum-*POW*”

“You’ll take my life, but I’ll take yours too! You fire you’re musket, but I’ll run you through!!!” you sing at the top of your lungs using the power of rock.

“Those healing tonics are evil I tells ya! Evil! EEEVVVIIILLL!!!” Grandbuggy rants while Nightshade just facehooves in embarrassment.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to go through puberty again?! Because it really, really sucks!” Aria growls at you.

“Well excuse me for being my own age in this stupid world!”

“What’s puberty?” asks Sonata.

“Not Now!” you both yell at her.

REWIND

"Enough with your bondage fetish Ahuizotl just tell her how you feel," Grandbuggy admonishes.

"Can we talk about this later?! Like when Cragodiles aren’t trying to eat us?!" Nightshade implores.

"What do you mean I'm fired?! Who the buck do you think you are Cinch?!"

Bugze calm down, it won't be productive punching this old crone Selena instructs.

“Your whole religion is stupid,” Nightshade complains.

“It’s not a religion, it’s an ideology,” Starlight Glimmer corrects.

“Whatever!”

“Hey! My Little Human didn’t make me evil!” Sunset defends.

“You turned into one, dated one, and then became a demon. I’ll let the evidence speak for itself.”

“Back off from what’s mine or I’ll cut you down whorse,” Nightshade threatens.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about!” bemoans Ember.

“YOU’RE THE ONE THE VOICES ARE AFTER!!!” you accuse the teenager.

“Huh?!” he backs up in alarm.

“But now we’re going to be villains in her next book,” Nightshade moans.

“Eh, with copyright laws and all it won’t be exactly us…but yeah, she does hold a grudge,” Grandbuggy nods.

“I HATE THIS FREAKING WORLD!!!” you shout to the heavens.

Your eyes snap open and you sit up from your bed with a gasp.

What? What is it? Asks Selena, having been roused as well.

“I…I don’t know,” you gasp as you try to get your bearings. “I think I had a nightmare or something.”

Odd. Normally I can detect and stop those, Selena muses.

“Well, I was confused more than anything,” you explain as you toss the covers off you. “But I can’t help shaking some sort of feeling of dread about my future.” The former Mare in the Moon let’s out an exasperated sigh.

Are you still harking on the Element of Harmony being crowned Princess? It’s been three months. That wasn’t what was on your mind, but now it is.

“Yes! Three months since she got freaking god level uber powers with her brand new pair of wings!” you groan. “Seriously, she packed a punch before, but now she might be able to vaporize me!”

Bugze, we’ve been over this. She’s an ascendant Alicorn, just like the Princess of Love. They are powerful yes, but nowhere near the level of my…”Sisters”…she spits.

“It’s the principal of the matter! Now she can hand out judgment without having to take orders, plus her freaking crown is the Element of Magic which she won’t hesitate at all to use to get rid of you,” you remind her for like the millionth time.

Ever since Selena had inadvertently revealed herself to Princess Celestia all those months back, you and your family have been keeping a lower profile than normal, lest somepony come and “Save You” from the Boogeymare.

Yes yes, Selena mutters since you’ve had this same conversation over and over again. And while I appreciate the concern, are we not taking steps to keep that from happening?

“…Yes…” you relent slightly. “But still, even when we get you out of my head, we’ll still have to watch out for her. She’ll never stop gunning for you.”

And what else is new? She says sarcastically. When I have my own body, I’ll at least be able to help us better avoid the tart and her friends.

“Yeah…I guess you’re right,” you relent yet again to this point.

I usually am, she says smugly.

“Still, when we pull this off, things will get even more hairy. Maybe we can send Smokey off on his own when we get him out too. Act like a distraction.”

I heard that! King Sombra growls from deeper in your mind.

“I know, that’s why I said it,” you snark back.

The former king grumbles and huffs at your provocation. Things between you two and him have been…different since the Appleloosan invasion. Neither of you would call him a friend by any stretch of the word, and he enthusiastically shares that sentiment, but he hasn’t quite been your enemy since then. The common ground between all three of you is that you all care deeply about Nightshade, and on that point he relents. He doesn’t try to get you guys killed anymore, and you two in turn, don’t keep him drugged like it’s HoofStock. Whatever that’s called, he and you two have it.

Though that sounds hilarious, I doubt that will do anything to make them hate me less. “Oh no, Nightmare Moon resurrected King Sombra and set him loose upon us, the fiend!” she says in an over the top voice causing you to chuckle a little.

“Well it can’t be any worse for me, the supposed stool pigeon that will bring darkness back into the world,” you shake your head at the ponies and their willingness to jump to conclusions.

As I keep saying, we will cross that bridge when it comes. Before any of these hypotheticals occur however, we still need to accomplish step one of getting me a body.

“Right, right,” you nod as you look at the cell like room you’re in. “You know, I don’t think Jack knows the meaning of hospitality if these are his guest rooms.” You then get off the bed and open the door into the rest of the Secret Base HQ of Torchwood.

“How much do you wanna bet that Nightshade and Grandbuggy are already up and waiting for us?”

Seeing as how she isn’t in the Inventory, I’d say very highly. She has taken to him like a duck to water these past few months. And it’s true. Grandbuggy has all but spoiled Nightshade the way only elderly relatives can, and for better and for worse, they are inseparable.

Sure enough, when you get to Grandbuggy’s room, you see a note on the door written in crayon.

It reads,
Dear Daddy. You took too long getting up, so me and Grandbuggy are raiding Jack’s Kitchen. Meet you there.

Love,
Nightshade.

“Well great. With those two eating everything in sight, I’m probably going to have to world hop on an empty stomach,” you grumble and head down the empty corridor. “And really, when I imagined Torchwood, I thought it’d be a little grander, and less empty.”

A month ago, while you, Grandbuggy and Nightshade had been keeping your heads down in Appleloosa, Captain Jack Harkness had sent out word to you that he was getting close to finding a solution for giving Selena and Sombra bodies. Then, two days ago, he had shown up in person to let you know the good news.

“My team and I have finally figured it out Bugze,” the handsome stallion says handing you a piece of parchment with a scrawling list.

“You have?” you ask earnestly as you look over the paper. It’s a bunch of names that don’t make sense to you.

“A Shard of the Dragon Lord Scepter, the Idol of Boreas, a Ring of Scorchero…” you trail off looking at the rest of the listed items. “What are all these?”

“Ancient artifacts of immense power. Power that while separate are pretty intense, but if brought together could potentially give you what you want.”

“Really? A bunch of ancient artifacts? That was the key the whole time?” you ask incredulously.

Do not doubt relics my bug. One of my own is what is currently keeping you alive after all, Selena points out.

“Right…” you trail off and brush a hoof against your chest. Half your heart is made up of the Nightmare Jewel, courtesy of Queen Chrysalis killing, and then reviving you.

“So what, I just collect all these trinkets, duct tape them together, and boom, Selena in the flesh?”

“Well, it’s not QUITE that simple. You see, the artifacts themselves are components to be added to a machine we’re designing. It’s pretty complex, especially on this technologically impaired world…” he trails off.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning we don’t have all we need on Equus to complete it, and with the Doctor retiring, we don’t have access to the TARDIS to go to any other technologically advanced world.”

“What?!” you ask angrily. “Then what was the point of coming out here then?”

“Well, just because we don’t have access to the TARDIS, doesn’t mean we don’t have other options…”

“I still can’t believe we’re going to another universe again,” you say aloud thinking of the Otherworld where your alternate self killed everything. “Really, two years isn’t nearly long enough.”

I know what you mean. But that scenario shouldn’t happen if the Captain is to be believed. He did say this world doesn’t even have magic…however that works, she ponders in confusion.

“He’s gotta be kidding, I mean, what kind of world DOESN’T have magic? How would the sun and moon rise? How would Unicorns do anything? It doesn’t sound possible.”

The promiscuous immortal was probably just trying to help ease your pathetic minds. World without magic, HA! Sombra mocks.

“Maybe…I still think he’s not telling the whole story. He looked at me funny when I asked about how these other world folks deal with no magic,” you think back on his trollish smile.

He’s always looking at you like that, Selena rolls her eyes. Despite the repeated murders at the hooves of your Grandfather.

“Well it’s not like that’s such a big deal to him,” you say as you reach the door to the mess hall. “Alright, let’s see what the damage is.” You open the door and despite your worst fears, it’s only slightly messy. At the table, eating pancakes is Nightshade, Grandbuggy, and Captain Jack.

“Morning Daddy!” Nightshade waves, “We saved you some pancakes.”

“Despite our best efforts,” Grandbuggy chuckles with syrup all over his face.

“Despite our best efforts,” Nightshade agrees and chuckles herself. Their best efforts being the countless drained syrup bottles, and empty pancake mix boxes. Jack sits next to them with nothing but a cup of coffee and a frown.

“Weeks! I had weeks of pancake mix saved up! Enough for the whole team! And in one morning you two decimate it!” he grumbles.

“Oh calm down Jacky Boy. It ain’t like you can’t afford it,” Grandbuggy laughs and pulls out the seat between him and Nightshade.

“That’s not the point. The point is…Nevermind,” he gives up and gulps his coffee. You smirk at his misfortune and sit down between your Grandbuggy and Daughter.

“Thanks for saving me some,” you kiss Nightshade’s head and pat the old bug’s back. “And don’t worry, I’m sure the Knights can go a few days while you go shopping.”

“It’s not the Knights I have to worry about, it’s Mia and Aqua. Who knew those two would be such Waffle fanatics?” he shudders.

“Well not me, until you just said something,” you say as you take a bite of the syrupy pancakes. “By the way, are they still out?”

“Yes, unfortunately. They are still training the Knights on their first assignment across the sea in Abysthnia.”

“Umm…is it anything serious?” you ask thinking of your old partner, the otherworld Cadence, and the merry band of misfits in some country you’ve never even heard of.

“Eh,” he hoof waves, “Just a possible alien incursion into the local population, nothing too big.” You raise a skeptical eyebrow to Grandbuggy who just shrugs.

“After years of traveling with the Doctor, Alien infiltrators become like a dime a dozen. I wouldn’t worry about them big kitties.”

“Yeah, besides, Aqua can handle anything dad,” Nightshade points out. Relenting to their point, you nod and continue eating. This may be the last meal in months that you’ll be able to have with Grandbuggy and Nightshade after all.

You, Jack, Gandbuggy and Nightshade sit in the train compartment as Jack gives you the whole plan.

“Torchwood does have some access to world shifting technology, as you know when we sent in Agent Sweetie Drops to assist you two years ago.” You nod, remembering Bon Bon phase shifting to assist you in your time of need. “But unfortunately, that kind of tech only works twice. Once for traveling to the destination, and once for traveling back. Even then, it only works when the walls between realities are close and thin enough. Depending on the universe, it may not work at all.”

“Alright Jackie, we get the technobabble. It’s only good for one trip, and only under circumstances and blah blah blah,” Grandbuggy interrupts. “Quit keeping us in suspense and just say there’s a world for him to go to and what he needs to find.” Jack gives Grandbuggy a deadpan look.

“Fine, ruin all my fun why don’t you?”

“It was getting kind of windy,” Nightshade adds causing Jack to huff.

“Alright. Yes, during the coming months there will be a world that fits the bill. The veil between our worlds can, and has been punched before in the past by Starswirl the Bearded himself.”

“Whoa, no way! The old wizard guy Twilight was always talking about in my studies?” Nightshade perks up. She then shirks back as all of you give her a strange look.

“What? I did learn stuff!” she defends.

“Debatable,” Grandbuggy snickers, causing her to give him the stink eye. “But really? You’re gonna be messing with that Old Coot’s toys? Nothing good ever comes from that. Just look at what finishing a spell of his did.”

“Wait, HE’S the reason Twilight’s an Alicorn?! Why that no good son of a-“ Grandbuggy clamps a hoof over your mouth as you scream a good amount of obscenities.

“Anyway,” Grandbuggy says to Jack as you continue to scream, “You were saying?”

“Yes, ahem,” Jack clears his throat. “This world we’ve observed has advanced technology the likes of which won’t be seen here in Equestria for decades to come.” This gets you to stop ranting for a few minutes.

“What, like Sci Fi type stuff?”

“In some regards yes. We’ve had advances to be sure, but it's mostly magic based, even the machines, but this world is way farther along. If you can bring any advanced tech back with you, it will help.”

“So wait, you want us to jump to this world and just start stealing all their future gadgets?” Nightshade asks.

“Yes and no,” Jack points. “Getting the tech is important, but it is secondary to Bugze’s main objective.”

Raising an eyebrow you ask, “And that is?”

“What Quick Fix said earlier about not messing with Starswirl isn’t all that inaccurate,” Jack says scratching the back of his neck and making Grandbuggy sit up straight. “He vanquished many a threat in his days, but one of these threats just so happened to have something we need if we’re to get Selena and Sombra out of your head.”

Jack places a photo down in front of you, in it are what look like cave paintings of three figures. They are yellow, blue, and purple and they look like a cross between a pony and a fish, and each one of them has a red dot on their chests.

“Are those Sea Ponies?” asks Nightshade to which Jack nods. “But I thought those were only myths?”

“Well most things that are regarded as myths did exist at some point. I met a few back in my adventures. They couldn’t sing worth a dang, but they were friendly enough,” Grandbuggy says.

Indeed. I remember the Sea Ponies when they introduced themselves to us at Horseshoe Bay long ago, Selena reminisces.

“Well, to be more accurate, their species used to be known as Sirens,” Jack clarifies. “ “Used to Be” being the key words.”

The Sea Ponies are all dead? Selena gasps in shock.

“Wait, hold up Jack!” you hold up your hooves. “Selena seems surprised by this. When did these Sea Ponies die out?”

“The Sirens,” he emphasizes, “Suffered a terrible cataclysm around 900 years ago that took their underwater kingdom, and drove them to extinction.”

Then it was while she and I were on the moon…she sighs.

“Oh, that’s so sad,” Nightshade bemoans.

“Indeed. I knew several of them quite intimately, and no that’s not JUST an euphemism,” he defends.

“Alright, alright. These Sea Horses are all gone, so what does this have to do with this picture and this world?” you demand.

“As I said before, Starswirl used a number of ways vanquish his foes. These three Sirens once attempted to take over several coastal cities, and they were banished to another dimension. The dimension we’re sending you to.”

I’d heard of that. That horrible pop music that still prevails to this day was invented by those sea monsters, Sombra chimes in.

“Wait a minute Jack,” Grandbuggy starts, “Are you saying that the red stones have been in this otherworld all this time?”

“That’s correct Quick Fix,” Jack nods.

“Grandbuggy?” you ask in confusion, causing him to look to you.

“The Red Song Stones are like the ultimate of lost treasures. The last magical power from a dead race, Daring Do wishes she could find.”

“What do these stones do?” asks Nightshade.

“According to legend, the stones could bring feelings and emotions into the physical realm. Give solidity to something that shouldn’t have it,” Jack explains. This causes your eyes to widen.

“So they could make Selena a body?” you ask.

“That’s what we’re hoping for,” Jack nods. “The other artifacts will be needed in conjunction, but one of these stones would be the heart of the device.”

“And since Sea Pony culture here was wiped off the face of the map, you’re hoping he can find them in Beardo’s dumping grounds?” ask Grandbuggy.

“Preferably yes,” Jack nods.

“But that was a thousand years ago. How the heck am I supposed to find them there after all these years?” you ask.

“Well…actually that part is all up to you I’m afraid,” he says rubbing the back of his neck.

“Huh?” you ask.

“All we know is that the three Villain Sirens were thrown into this world. We don’t know where, but I’m sure someone a long time ago saw a giant sea creature appear. They might even be in a museum or something.”

“That’s it? I just have to wing it?”

“Sorry, but that’s the best we can do. Though anything Magical in this world is bound to stick out.”

You share a look with your daughter and grandpa before looking back to the immortal stallion.

“So the plan in it’s entirety, is for me to travel to another reality, take a bunch of alien tech, and grave rob the last remnants of a long dead species?”

“Well when you put it like that…” Jack chuckles nervously.

“So when Daddy gets to the other side, why won’t we be able to talk to him?” asks Nightshade.

“Because the tech we have isn’t strong enough for communication. Once he’s on the other side, he’s on his own until he decides to come back,” Jack answers as he puts the plates in the sink.

“And what happens if he loses or breaks the travel device?” Grandbuggy accuses.

“Grandbuggy!” you shout in indignation. “I’m not that clumsy.”

“…”

“Okay yeah, I am, but it’s still mean to say,” you harrumph.

“The truth hurts kid. But the question remains, what happens then? Is there another way out?”

“Yes there is, but not on this side,” Jack says as he motions for you all to follow him. He takes you to another room full of random looking artifacts and doohickeys. He pulls out a large sheet of parchment that has an ornate looking mirror drawn on it. It’s in the shape of a horseshoe and looks very familiar to you.

“I’ve seen this before! In the Crystal Empire.”

You Have? asks Selena.

It’s one of Amore’s accursed treasures…Sombra mumbles.

“Yeah, I saw this thing back when my chest wound was still oozing. It freaked me out…I saw something weird looking in it.”

“What kind of weird Dad?” asks your daughter.

“I don’t know just…weird,” you trail off remembering how your image changed.

“Well weird or not, this is the only other doorway into this other world aside from our Slider. Originally there were two, but the one in Canterlot was destroyed about ten years ago after an incident with one of Celestia’s former protégés.”

“Former protégé?” you ask.

“I think I remember that. Orange unicorn wasn’t it? Supposed to be a genius?” Grandbuggy inquires. Jack nods.

“Though not many outside of the Princess’s inner circle are privy to what her name was. She was all but expunged from official records after the incident.”

“Alright, that’s all nice and ominous sounding, but what happened?” you interrupt.

“That’s the thing, even WE don’t know. One minute Celestia had a rising pupil, and the next she’s a ghost. No family, no friends. Not even a name,” Jack says in confusion. “Whoever she was, something happened and it involved a mirror that was nearly identical to this one.”

“Whoa, whoa wait,” Nightshade interrupts “What if this was like a coverup and this mare died? You still want Daddy to use that?”

“Of course not,” Jack assures. “The mystery behind this artifact is far too risky, but if worst comes to worst and his Slider is lost or broken, then this Mirror will be the only connecting doorway between the worlds.” You look at the horseshoe shaped mirror and shudder. Even in paper, it still gives you the creeps.

“And how many sliders do you have left?” you asks pointedly.

“Just the one. Only two uses, so try not to lose it,” he emphasizes causing you to roll your eyes.

“Well I don’t plan on going to the Crystal Empire any time soon. They’re preparing for the Equestria Games all year so security is high, and that Royal Summit is being held in like a month so I’d rather not use this creepy mirror. But if I have to, where’s it’s doppelganger?”

Jack ponders for a moment then answers, “This world isn’t quite like the one you visited in the past. There are other versions of folks we know, but as I’ve said, there’s no magic, and the countries aren’t the same either, but there are institutions that are similar.”

“Institutions?” you ask at his crypticness.

“You’ll know when you get there,” he answers, “But it’s logical to conclude that the door on the other side will be in whatever Crystal Empire stand in they have.”

“But if it’s not a country, how will I know?”

“Just look for Cousin Cadence or Shining Armor, Dad. They’re they rulers now whether Sombra likes it or not, so I’m sure they’d be there,” Nightshade points out. Ignoring Sombra’s huff of indignation, you beam at your daughter’s logic.

“Hey, that ain’t bad thinking kid. Guess Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Grandbuggy praises as he pats her back.

Wow, she’s getting smarter every day, you think in pride.

And we both know she gets that from me, Selena adds.

Oi!

Am I wrong? She asks sardonically.

No, but you don’t have to actually say it, you whine before looking back to your daughter.

“Great idea honey. Hopefully meeting with this Cadence won’t end as badly,” you exposit, rubbing your chest scar.

“It won’t Dad. I know you, Mom and Sombra will be alright over there,” she smiles. You smile back at her enthusiasm which is such a big turnaround from the train ride.

“What do you mean I can’t come with you Dad?” Nightshade exclaims as you have a family meeting in the train car, with Jack waiting outside.

“It means what it sounds like Honey. I can’t let you come with me to this alternate reality,” you explain with patience.

“But why not?! Just because Jack says you have to go alone doesn’t mean anything. I’ll stay in the inventory when we travel and then hop out and-“

“Nightshade…” you say tiredly.

“Daddy, you’ve never left me on my own for more than a couple of days, and even then that was with the Deadly 6! But you and Mom could be gone for Months! Why change it now? Why-“ she is stopped as you place a hoof on her shoulder.

“Nightshade, I’m not leaving you alone. Grandbuggy will look after you until we get back,” you say pointing to the old bug who only smiles and nods. Nightshade still looks conflicted though.

“B-But why doesn’t Grandbuggy just come with us?! Why do you and Mom have to go alone? Why can’t we-“ Grandbuggy pats her other shoulder stopping her midsentence.

“You know why he doesn’t want to bring you along kid. When it comes to other realities and you...?” he lets his words trail as Nightshade’s eyes widen in understanding before looking back to your solemn face.

“Oh…” she says quietly, finally getting your feelings. You lift her chin and give her a comforting smile.

“Baby, I know you want to come with us, and I know that you can fight and handle yourself. But I can’t risk it. Not you. Not in another world. Especially in a world “without magic.”

Jack had explained that without magic, your Nightmare Powers would not be achievable and that you would be left with only your physical prowess to rely upon. Even you plasmids might not work due to the genetic manipulation being on “this side’s” body. This part confused you, but he didn’t follow up on what that meant. Why would your body not be the same on the other side?

“And besides, I’ll still have your Mother and Zoomba to keep me company up here,” you bonk the side of your head which makes her smile.

A fat lot of use I’ll be though without access to our magic, Selena admits.

And like Tartarus will I “keep you company,” Sombra grumbles.

“I want you to be somewhere where I know you’ll be safe, and there’s nowhere safer than by Grandbuggy’s side.”

“Yer Gorramned Right,” the old bug agrees. “Don’t worry kiddo, yer parents and shadowy imaginary friend will be back before you know it.”

“He’s not imaginary,” Nightshade responds but then looks back down. “Still, I feel weird about not going with you. This is all for Mommy’s and Sombra’s sake so I feel like I should be helping.”

“You will be honey,” you ensure, “By being safe and sound for when we get back. That will help all three of us more than you know.”

“He’s right my precious,” Selena says through your mouth as she caresses Nightshade’s cheek. “You’re safety will be comforting, even though being apart from you will hurt our hearts.”

She looks down and nods, “Ok…I understand. I’m gonna go to the bathroom now…” She then silently walks out the door and down the corridor leaving you alone with your Grandbuggy. Selena and you then both let out a sigh.

It’s not going to be easy for her. For any of us being separated for so long.

“I know,” you answer aloud. “I was putting on a brave face too. I wish it didn’t have to be this way…”

“It ain’t gonna be easy for any of us boy,” Grandbuggy says with a shaky voice causing you to look at him. He looks like he’s trying hard not to cry which surprises you. “The last time I was told to watch the kid of the Changeling I raised, she and her husband never came back…”

The hurt in his voice registers with you. You know exactly what he’s talking about. The day your Mother and Father were sent off on a suicide mission, and you were left orphaned in his care.

“I-I’m sorry Grandbuggy, “ you apologize. “I never thought to look at it from your point of-” He then grips both your shoulders and gives you a hard look which shuts you up.

“Listen to me you two. You both got a wonderful kid that thinks the world of you. Whatever happens, you come back to her ya hear me?” the intensity in which he says it sets you back.

“O-Of course Grandbuggy. I swear I will. I promise. I won’t let her go through that, you have my word.”

“You have mine as well,” Selena speaks up. After a few seconds he nods and pats your head.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

After prepping for the trip to come, you now stand in the middle of Torchwood’s conference room. Jack has the shifter which looks like a wrist bracelet as he waits for you to say your goodbyes. Nightshade holds on tight around your neck, and you return the affection with gusto.

“Be careful over there Daddy. Remember to take lots of pictures, and stay out of trouble,” she hiccups as tears run down her cheeks.

“I will honey. I will.”

“And Mommy, try to keep dad from setting too many fires and from starting an interdimensional war please?”

“Hey! Wait a mi-OF course my child. I will keep his arsonist tendencies in check as best I can,” Selena takes over and chuckles softly while you roll your eyes. Nightshade herself giggles before declaring.

“Don’t stay gone for too long. And remember, I love you both very very much.”

“As do we precious…Always…” you both say.

She then pulls back and looks you in the eye.

“Sombra, remember what we’ve talked about. You’re my friend and I’ll miss you too. Keep watch over Mom and Dad for me please?” Your eyes take on a green tint and you allow the former King to speak.

“I…fine. For you young overlord. For you,” he sighs.

“Not just for me silly. When this is all done, you’ll be getting a body too,” she says cheerfully.

“If he’s good,” you speak up, taking your voice back.

“If you’re good,” she agrees. The shadow king sighs once more as Nightshade hugs you again.

“All of you, please come back to me.”

“Of course,” you three say in legion.

“That’s still creepy,” Grandbuggy chuckles as he moves towards you and you take his hoof.

“Watch over her Old Bug. Keep her safe, and no funny business alright?” you chide causing him to raise an eyebrow.

“What’s with the accusation boy? Do I look like the sort of bug to put a child in harm’s way?”

You briefly flash to your childhood with him, like the time he took you to Mardi Gras, that abandoned mine to scare off those meddling kids and their dog, the time you “dined and dashed” from the hospital, and many many more.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” you ask incredulously. He rolls his eyes before saying.

“I’ll keep her safe #@$%. I ain’t gonna put her in any situation she can’t handle, you have my word.” You nod before pulling him into a hug, which Nightshade gets in on too.

“Stay clear of the Princesses, especially the Bookworm,” you warn before pulling back and walking over to Jack.

“Alright Cap, how’s this work?”

“It’s fairly simple. Just hold down the green button, and it will take you to your destination,” he puts the bracelet on you. “After that, put it somewhere safe until you’re ready to return. This thing only works once. If anything occurs, the doorway on the other side is always there, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Ok then. And there’s no chance of me running into my doppelganger in this world? Like, would everyone else be cool with him?” you ask as you look at the device.

“It’s…well…” Jack says fumbling as he looks around nervously.

“What is it Jack? What aren’t you telling me?” you demand. “Is the me in this world a criminal too?” He then looks you in the eye and sighs.

“Quite frankly I have no idea, but that’s not what I’ve been keeping from you. The truth is, when you get to the other side…you might not be the biggest fan of the place…or of what you will look like” he admits.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you ask.

“It…would be too hard to explain, and it wouldn’t help with the shock you’re about to get, so all I’ll say is, you’ll know soon enough. Just…just don’t freak out too much, and good luck” he implores as he pats your shoulder.

“Ha! Good luck,” you mock. “As if I’ve ever had that.” You then turn back to Nightshade and Grandbuggy, the only physical family you have left and give them a confident smile.

“Don’t worry guys. All I have to do is steal some alien tech and find thousand year old relics in a land without magic. Easy Peasy,” you say cheekily, getting them to chuckle.

“I’ll be back before you know it, and when I am, we’ll start looking for some good old fashioned Home Grown Artifacts.”

“Love you Dad and Mom! Be good Sombra!” Nightshade calls out.

“Go get ‘em Boyo!” Grandbuggy adds.

You grin and say, “I love you all. Now, to infinity and beyond!” you call out as you hold down the button. For a moment, nothing happens.

Is…is it working?

I don’t feel any different, Selena muses.

“Um, I think your machine is bro-*FLASH*” you are interrupted as the world goes sparkly and you feel as though you’re spinning in a gigantic rainbow field.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” you scream as you feel your body…changing.

Just as your father is complaining about the Slider being broken, he suddenly disappears in a bright flash.

“Whoa!” you shield your eyes. “Dad?” Looking to the spot in the middle of the room, your father is gone. “Did it work correctly?” you ask the handsome immortal stallion.

“Yup. Don’t fret Nightshade. In less than a minute he’ll be over there on his quest.”

“Alright, I can’t wait for them to bring back the pictures….They’re gonna be alright, right Grandbuggy?”

“They will kid. They will,” Grandbuggy reassures as he pats your shoulder. “Your Dad’s got three good heads on his shoulders, and no alternate world is gonna bring him down.”

Oh Grandbuggy, you always know what to say…except for the times when you don’t. Grinning, you then look around the room in confusion.
“Sooooo, now what do we do? Just hang out here till he comes back?” you ask Grandbuggy.

“Well you’re more than welcome to-“ Jack starts but Grandbuggy cuts him off.

“Heck no we’re not going to just be sitting around. You heard Jackieboy, it could take months, and I sure as heck ain’t gonna hang out doin nothing.” Jack slumps his shoulders.

“Well you don’t have to be so rude,” he complains.

“Oh shove off Jack. You’ve known me long enough to know I ain’t idle. Not when there’s work to be done.”

“Work?” you ask

“Ayuh. Work that’s only for family ears,” he says with a pointed look at the Captain.

Rolling his eyes, Jack walks out of the room, “Whatever Quick Fix. I have known you long enough to know you keep your work to yourself. Just don’t do anything too stupid, and know you’ll both still be welcome here any time.”

After he leaves, Grandbuggy takes you by the shoulder and leads you back to his room where he pulls out a piece of paper.

Wait, he doesn’t mean homework does he? You think in dread. To your relief, the paper isn’t homework, but a long list of…something.

“A shard of fossilized dragon egg, a Ring of Scorchero…What’s this?”

“This little filly, is the list of artifacts on this world that will be used to get your buddy a solid form, and your mom her smoking hot bod back.”

“Really?” you ask looking at the list. “Dad did say something about doing this when he came back.”

“Yeah, but he’s gonna be gone for some time, and we’re not doing much so…” he trails off giving you a knowing look. You gasp in understanding.

“You want to go hunting for these now while Daddy’s gone?”

“Correctomundo!”

“B-But you told him you’d watch me and…”

“I told him I would keep you safe and wouldn’t put you in any situation you couldn’t handle. Can’t you handle a little adventure?” he says with a wink and suddenly you are elated.

“So how about it kid, you wanna travel around and do some good ol fashioned Tomb Raiding with your Great Grandbuggy?” When presented with this outlandish, mischievous, and possibly dangerous proposition, the answer is very simple.

“Oh Tartarus the Buck Yeah!” you squee as you jump up and down. Throughout all your adventures, you’ve been sidelined, and “kept safe” even though you are probably as big a hitter as your Dad. While you always appreciate the sentiment, you are no damsel in distress. And if it means helping out your Mommy and Sombra, then you’re all for it.

“Oh My Gosh, We’re going to have our own adventure while Dad’s having his? This is so cool!” you cheer before a thought comes to you. “But how are we going to find all these artifacts? I’ve never heard of half of them.” Your Great Grandbug chuckles while rolling up the list and putting it into your Inventory with Mangle.

“Let’s just say, I know a Big Cat Enthusiast who is very versed in finding ancient stuff, and that he owes me a favor…”

Dizzy. You’re whole world is nothing but dizzy. Those wonderful pancakes your daughter made from you keep protesting to come back up, but you won’t allow them.

“Oooohhhhh…” you groan as you shake your head, trying to will your stability back into place.

Bugze focus, I believe that we have crossed.

“Trying Selly, believe me, I’m trying,” you answer as you wobble. It’s not just your vision, but your whole body feels weird. Your back hooves feel constricted, and your front ones feel more sensitive on the concrete ground. After taking a few breaths, your vision starts to focus on a sign in front of you. Slowly but surely, the letters come into view.

“Crystal Prep Academy?” you ask aloud as you look past the sign and see a large building that looks like it was hewn right out of the Crystal Empire.

Fascinating. Mayhaps we’ve come to the alternate Empire institution…Sombra examines.

“You like anything with Crystals,” you mutter sarcastically as you try to walk forward, only for your limbs to not work correctly, causing you to fall on your face.

“Ouch! The heck is going on with me?” you groan as you bring a hand to your face.

“Oh crud, I think I pushed in my muzzle, it’s all flattened and…wait…Hand?” You pull your arm back, but there is no hoof at the end of it. Instead, there is a chitinless, dark colored, five fingered Minotaur like hand.

“What the buck?!” you yell as you throw your limb away from you, causing you lose your balance again and topple over. Pain shoots up your arm and you even hear something crack.

“OOWWWOWW!” you groan and grasp your arm in your other hand, before realizing how creepy that feels and letting go with a shriek.

“What the buck is going one?! Am I still dreaming!” you start hyperventilating.

No, we are quite awake. The pain and fear are real! Selena answers, confusion in her voice as well.

“Then why the buck do I have minotaur hands?! Why do I-AW CRAP! I BROKE THE BUCKING SLIDER ALREADY!!!” you swear as you see that the crunch you heard was the dimensional slider that brought you here. It now crumbles into several pieces at your feet.

“Goramnit! It hasn’t even been a minute! How could I have already bro-WHERE THE BUCK ARE MY HOOVES?!” you shout as you look down at your lower half and see them covered in clothing. There are shoes at the end of your legs, but you know there’s no hooves in there.

“Oh Buck, Oh Buck, Oh Buck!” you scramble and roll around as if trying to get away from the alien limbs.

Bugze! Bugze calm down! Selena orders.

“How can I?! My hooves are gone, the Slider’s broken and I have no idea what’s going on!”

This must be what the Captain was alluding to, she insists.

“Well he should have been clearer! My body is all weird! What the heck am I?!”

Oh My Goodness. Can It Be? Sombra sounds off in your head sounding…giddy?

“Can what be you smokey nutjob?!” you demand.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think it could be true, that they could be real! he squees.

Selena suddenly gasps aloud, Oh No…It can’t possibly be true. It can’t! she says in dread.

“What? What can’t be true?!” you shout as you try to crawl, but your back legs bend a different direction now.

I might actually be able to meet Andrea, Peter, Ashley, Michelle and the rest! Sombra says all sugar and rainbows.

“Oh Come On!” you yell in frustration over his happiness. “How many times do I have to tell you, that show and it’s fandom are pure trash! TRASH I TELL YOU! They’re not even real! There’s no such thing as a huuuuuuu…” your voice skips a beat on the evil horrible word.

“No…”

Bugze I think that he’s-

“NO!” you awkwardly crawl towards the Crystal Prep Academy building and it’s many, many reflective windows.

“Please don’t let it be real! Please don’t let it be real!” you beg the heavens, but because Lady Luck has it out for you, it sadly is.

You look upon your reflection. The hands and legs are attached to a bipedal being, wearing blue jeans, and a dark hooded sweatshirt. The creature's face is flat and ape like, and it’s eyes are much smaller than normal. But what kills you most of all, the most damning evidence is the crop of spiky orange hair upon it’s head.

“I’m…I’m…” you sputter as the ugly truth cements itself.

~My Little Human, My Little Human. Aaaaaaahhh, Sombra sings.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” you scream to the sky with your transformed, hideous mouth. “BUCK YOU JJJJAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!”

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Author's Notes:

It's time to begin Hive Mind. The Final Season of Life of a Wanted Changeling Starts Now!
And you read that correctly, there's two ongoing adventures. Bugze's Quest in Human Land, and Nightshade and Grandbuggy artifact hunting. The last poll was evenly split, so this is the result.

Now the way this will work is that we'll break the chapters into arcs. Have a few for Bugze, then have a few for Nightshade and Grandbuggy. The turn over will clearly be labeled so that we can get the best of both worlds. For the first couple, we're gonna focus on Bugze naturally as he freaks out in this strange new land a full Month before the events of the first EQG Movie. And remember, Bugze isn't a High Schooler in this world

Now that we're set to begin, let me start by apologizing once again for the Hiatus. My personal life took many turns these last few months, but I'm back now. Let's finish this tale once and for all

Now, the title and even the cover art are temporary until we get new ones, so that leads to our first Chapter Question.

What should the Season 4 Title be called?

Give me some options, and then we'll vote on them next chapter.

And for Returning and Old Readers, Here is What's in Bugze's and Nightshade's Inventory

Your Inventory

Weapons

Boomstick (Black Staff with Red Crystal. Causes shockwaves when slammed)

Jet Stream Sam Sword Reversed High Frequency Blade.

Knock-Out Luna Plushie

Ninja Stars (15)

Power Glove (Plasmid and Vigor channel with grappling hook attachment)

Second Law: (Air Shotgun)

Disguises/Clothing

Baker Sylvester Tennant (Brown overcoat, Yellow and black striped pants, White Panama hat, face mask, and 4th Doctor Scarf)

Crimson Vengeance: (Alucard Hat, Immortan Joe Mask, Deadpool shirt, Vash the Stampede Coat, and red pants)

El Hunko (Restored), with Purple Top Hat

Hooded Offender Cloak

Stetson Hat with Orange Bandana

Miscellaneous

Bounty Hunter License

Brown Money Pouch: (500 Bits)

Free Filly Scout Cookies For Life Card

Grandbuggy with Granny Smith photo

Grandbuggy with Your Mother Photo

Instant Mail Transfer Container (Cadence Direct Line)

Patching Supplies (Vice-Grips, Duct Tape, WD-40)

Pink Lover’s Jewel Necklace

Powers and Spells List (That you know)

Sapphire Shores Signed Photo (Probably worth a lot)

Trixie's Black and White Bear Plushie (Never Forget)

Potion Sash

Healing Potion (6)

Molotov Cocktail (4)

Stink Bomb (3)

Transformation/Disguise Potion (4)

Nightshade’s Inventory

Weapons

Dark Cannon (Laser Gun with Limited Shots)

Junk Jet (Cannon that launches junk)

Kendo Stick

Miscelaneous

Assorted Movies, Videogames and Videogame Systems

Ocarina (Might be able to manipulate weather?)

Mangle, Plush Robot Fox Pet

See you on the battlefield Hive Mind.

Episode 2: Scream Therapy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsV500W4BHU

8bitmadness’s Comment

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

GreyRebl’s Comment

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Bugze...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Bugze...

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Bugze for the love of me, will you get a hold of yourself you fool?! Selena groans in desperation and annoyance, but you can’t stop screaming. How could you? One of your worst fears has come true and then some.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” you continue screaming your new alien vocal chords raw.

Bugze for the gods’ sake, you’ll pass out if you keep screaming like that!

“Yes! I know! Sweet merciful bliss will come with it! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”
And while she audibly facehooves, since she has the luxury of still having hooves, Sombra continues to sing that inane My Little Human song like a torturous resonance of cringe and neck beard gurgling, the crescendo so terrifyingly deep and demonic that it shudders your insides... Even though it's just how his voice sounds.

La la la~ My little human~ My little human~

YOU’RE NOT HELPING!!! She yells at the filthy humie in your mind.

“Horrible Overhyped Trash For Little Fillies with Horrible Animation! Why must it be real?! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

Alright that does it! Bugze, just know that what I’m about to do is for your own good! Selena growls, and you suddenly feel your perspective get pushed back inside your head slightly.

Assuming Direct Control…

While you continue to yell to the heavens for this crime against nature and all reality, the former mare in the moon lifts your evil gross hand and…

DarkInfinity666’s Comment: i would imagine bugze punch himself in the face a few times to see if he was dreaming

Baraka Obama’s Comment: Proceed to slap yourself multiple times, praying that this is some kind of side effect after using the transporter.

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!- *SLAP* OW!” you stop your shouting abruptly and clutch your smarting face. You find yourself in a familiar situation with a red hoof… er, hand mark on your face.

“Hey that really hurt! Without chitin this hand this…hand…Uh, Ah! AAAAHHH-*SLAP* Ouch! *SLAP* OW! *SLAP* OK! *SLAP* I Get It! *SLAP* Stop!” you shout and pant as several more red marks line your cheeks. Your evil wriggly hand stops inches from your cheek and lowers as you topple over once more.

Now, are you done shouting yourself ragged? Selena inquires.

“Y-yeah *pant* I think so…” you gasp as the pain helps to sober you up.

Good. I know that this is a shock, but we have to stay focused right now. There are too many variables we don’t know, she reasons, and the logic in her words does help you focus more.

“Right…right. There could be enemies nearby, there’s no time to worry. I’ll just not focus on the fact that I’ve been turned into a…a…”

~Big adventure, tons of fun. A beautiful heart, faithful and strong~

“Oh who am I kidding, how can I escape this personal Tartarus?!” you panic and start hyperventilating.

~Sharing kindness, it’s an easy *BLAST* AH! Sombra yelps in pain.

Not Now You Miserable Cretin! She chides the fanboy. Now Bugze, just ignore that swine’s- Oh For Goodness’ Sake!She bellows while you fall further into existential crisis.

GreyRebl’s Comment

"H-hands... I have ha-han-ha—!" You choke and wheeze in and out, shuddering, stammering, and coughing. The slightest tug of your jeans feels so foreign...so alien. And those fingers, on your...hands, where your hoofs are supposed to be, they just—just wriggle! You can even feel the same in your shoes!

Lying on the concrete, curling your limbs—your abominable human limbs—around yourself, bombarded by memories of horrors long since forgotten, you hysterically sob into your knees as you rock back and forth along your back.

"I-it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay," you repeat, and your voice cracks. "It'sgoingtobeokaaaay!"

Bugze, You've already served your time being the fool. Now enough crying and stand up! You have survived far worse than this! She orders, but this only causes you to roll onto your side, eyes shaking in terror.

"I can hear her: Lyra, talking my ear off about humans, ranting about fan theories, inviting me to a My Little Human convention..."
Selena's sigh echoes in your mindscape. Then, her voice turns as sweet as nectar.

Listen, my dear bug,she utters soothingly,Just because you're now human does not mean you're one of...'them'.

"B-but that's what a converter would say! I've seen it! Heard it!" You squeeze tighter into your pitiful ball. "They were LIARS, those closet human-loving scum!"

...Sometimes, I wonder if we take our disgust a bit too far...

"I WAS ONCE FORCED TO READ TWO PAGES OF ONE OF THEIR ASININE PONY ON EARTH SELF-INSERTS! TWO!"

Really? What were they called? I’ll have to search those out. They better have my OTP, Sombra chimes in.

“NO! I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR DAMNED SHIPS LYRA!!! AAAAHHHH!!!” you shout as you bolt forward.

What did I just say worm?! Selena growls as she blasts at Somba again.

You’re all just haters!

Trying to get away from bad memories, you at least have some semblance of rationality, though that rationality is that smacking yourself silly will make you think better. Not quite what Selena was trying to do, but you’ve taken that lesson to heart. So before she can assume control again, you…

Master of Shadow’s Comment: This has to be a dream. You find the nearest tree/tree like object and slam your head into it till you wake up.

Slam your disgusting ape face against its reflection in the side of the building again and again. As your head starts to crack said window, which Sombra notes is made of crystal, you do feel the old memories being buried in favor of pain.

Bugze Stop! You’re bleeding! Selena commands, and as you looked at your cracked visage, you see some of your midnight blue blood coming out of your forehead.

“Oh, so I am…on the plus side…Ow….” You slump onto your knees, which bend the complete opposite direction than what you’re used to. You stare at your new form in the crystal window, before sighing and wiping your forehead with the back of your…hand.

“Gorammit Jack. Why couldn’t you have told me before and let me freak out in my real body?” you whimper as tears start coming to your eyes and your breathing gets ragged again.

DownWithChrysalis’s Comment

Bugze calm down! You’re gonna hurt yourself more and draw too much attention to us! Just remember those breathing techniques Zecora taught you!

At Selena's suggestion you start to take deep, calming breaths like how the zebra shaman instructed. As you breathe you think,

Everything is okay, everything is alright. I'm just trapped in a world where creatures from a terrible TV show exist AND I'M ONE OF THEM OH DEAR LUNA WHY?! THIS IS NOT OKAY, EVERYTHING IS NOT GO-

*Slap*

Bugze!

Slowing down your breathing again after that mild panic attack you eventually calm down enough to speak rationally.

“Okay...Okay…I'm good… sorta. As long as I don’t see any of those overrated characters right at this moment, I think I’ll be alright…”

Michelle is not overrated. She is the most adorable-

"OVERRATED I SAY!!!" You shout before you take one more long breath and open your eyes to look at your reflection again. “Sweet Tartarus I’m ugly as buck,” you groan.

It’s not as bad as you perceive it my Bug. But hurry up this loathing, there’s no telling who or what overheard your ranting, Selena urges.

Your eyes widen and you look all around you, but thankfully there doesn’t appear to be anyling else around.

“Okay, it looks like I lucked out, but who knows how long that will last?” you then look to the sky and see…

Solarkness’s Comment

Kichi’s Comment

That the sun is close to the horizon. You're guessing it's either dawn or dusk, although you can't say for sure since you can’t really determine the direction it moves in yet. You lean against the wall next to the window you’ve cracked and sigh.

"Well, what now?" you ask.

Well it’s obvious isn’t it? You have to learn to walk with this bipedal form. Remember, time is of the essence, Selena instructs helpfully.

“Bipedal…” you shudder, but you let the horror that that entails go. You can freak out more later. You then do as the mare in your head suggested and begin testing out your new horrendous limbs.

It’s slow going to be sure, transitioning from four legged walking to two, and your balance still is in the gutter, but you are able to stumble walk for more than four steps without falling.

“That’s it. Easy does it. Just like a natural filthy human…” you breathe through your teeth as you puppet your new limbs. Eventually, you stumble back to the remains of your dimensional slider.

“Aw man, Jack is gonna kill me…after I kill him a few dozen times that is!” you then scoop up the shattered pieces and look them over as they sit in the greasy palms of your new hands.

“There is entirely too much feeling when holding something…but anyway, what do you think my chances of repairing this are Selly?”

I could not hazard a guess as we’ve only been in this world for less than 5 minutes, but who knows? Maybe there will be enough advanced tech to salvage it.

“Maybe…but I doubt it. No, I think we’re gonna have to end up using that other portal…wherever the heck it is.” You then sigh and go to place the broken pieces into your Inventory only to find...

Roker12’s Comment: Don't forget your inventory.

“My Inventory!” you cry out as you bring the bag up for inspection. They are no longer your helpful saddle bags, instead it has been turned into...

“A Purse?! Really?!” you shout. “It’s bad enough I’m a damned dirty ape, but now you gotta give me a purse?!”

I believe that’s more of a satchel, Sombra chuckles.

“Bullspit! It’s a purse and you know it! Great, just complete the neckbeard look why don’t you?!”

Well does it still function? Asks Selena rolling her eyes.

“Good question,” you say as you open up the man purse and look inside. Thankfully, it appears as though your belongings haven’t gone anywhere, and the bag of holding still has impossible space inside.

“Well thank goodness for small miracles,” you sigh as you place the pieces inside.

Broken Slider Added to Inventory.

And while you have your transformed inventory open, you check your other items. Unfortunately the majority of your coats and other disguises are still for an Equine body. Including…

8BitMadness’s Comment

DarkInfinity666’s Comment

“Oh No! My Power Glove!” you groan as you hold up the hoof glove. You try placing it over your new disgusting hand, but it only barely sits over the limb when you close it into a fist.

“Aw crud,” you groan.

Well…think on the bright side. At least if the plasmids and vigors do not work, surely the grappling hook still will. It’s always good to have a quick escape available, Selena tries to cheer you up, but your mood is sour.

“This glove doesn’t fit too well on this evil spidery thing, I don’t think it’s going to work at all,” you grumble as you return the weapon back to the inventory.
Sighing, Selena continues,

Well be that as it may, we should test it later. Right now we should endeavor to distance ourselves from outside this Academy to get a better lay of the land.

“Right…but wait, maybe we should scope out that portal now.”

Solarkness’s Comment

You remember Nightshade’s advice about finding Cadance and Shining Armor on this side.

“If I find their counterparts, then the portal should be here too…although they’re probably going to be gross small eyed, five fingered demons too.”

You just don’t get the artistic aesthetic, Sombra grumbles.

“It’s disgusting!” you argue back.

Bugze, Selena interrupts. We should focus on getting you used to this body and the world first before we go hunting for dopplegangers.

“But we’re right here already. Might as well get it over with before anyling else shows up and sees us snooping. And even as I say that…”

“Um Excuse Me? What are you doing on school grounds after hours?” asks a familiar voice that sends shivers up your spine. You slowly turn around and gape at what you see in horror standing in the Academy’s entrance. Even if you hadn’t heard her voice, you would have recognized her even as an ugly ape with those oversized glasses.

AllenNoir’s Comment: So how long before Bugzi meets Sci-Twi standing outside Crystal Prep…

“Um…the school is closed,” she mumbles nervously. “Are you hear to see Principal Finch or-“

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!” you scream startling human Twilight Sparkle as the last three months come rushing back to you in one instant.

That’s not her Bugze! That’s her dop-

“NOT MY PRINCESS! NOT MY PRINCESS!!!” you yell as you turn and stumble run away from the shocked and confused teenager into what you now know is the night.

Behind you, you faintly hear some sort of exchange.

“What was that Twily?” asks a familiar male voice.

“I don’t know. Some crazy homeless person I think.”

After quite literally learning how to run again (fear and insanity over a little girl are great motivators) you find yourself in an alleyway panting as the night gets darker. Thankfully, by some luck you’ve never had before, you’ve not seen a single other human since running from Twilight.

“Oh jeeze *Huff* How am I *Pant* This winded already?” you ask as you lean against a brick wall.

You obviously have a different stamina for this body. But you wouldn’t have needed to find that out had you stayed calm, Selena chides.

“I couldn’t help it. It’s still too soon for me to be hearing her voice. For all I know, this world’s Twilight is also a princess and will strike me down if I get on her bad side.”

I don’t know why you were so worried, I thought the redesign was adorable and-

“I don’t give a buck about your little filly show!” you shout and pant some more, leaning into the wall.

Well, if anything, we’ve learned that the Bookworm’s double and her brother are at that Academy, so our Daughter’s theory may yet hold water, Selena points out.

“Oh goody,” you say sarcastically as you pull your head up from resting on your hand and shudder. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to this.”

You then notice something under your hand, plastered to the brick wall. Something that catches your attention.

“Huh?” you pull back and your muzzle-less mouth drops at what you see.

Kichi’s Comment

8BitMadness’s Comment

The words WANTED are plastered over the images of three humans standing in front of what looks like a Police Height Chart.

One of them is a male wearing a jagged metal crown, and sticking his tongue out, another is female in dark leather clothing and heavy eye shadow, and the last one is a cloaked figure, with his face obscured and the eyes glowing orange.

“No way…” you say breathlessly. The three humans are holding signs that have their names scrawled on it. King Crystal, Nightmare Moon, and of course

“The Hooded Offender…They’re searching for me even in this dimension? Buck you Lady Luck!” you growl, and your hands instinctively curl into fists, which feels really weird. Along the sides of the humans are a list of what you can only assume are their crimes, only it’s worded strangely.

Kill the King,

Burn the Flag,

Gut the Traitors,

Bring the Darkness.

The Wanted, with Special Guest, Queen of the Hive.

Coming Soon.

Of course it couldn’t be that easy…Selena says sounding dejected. But maybe there is hope? This poster is old and weathered. Maybe they’ve already captured our counterparts?

“If only we were so lucky,” you groan but something still confuses you. “You know for a Wanted Poster, this really doesn’t have a lot of details. And what does that ‘Coming Soon’ and 'Special Guest' part mean?”

Now that you look at it, it looks more like the three humans on the poster were posing on purpose. It’s almost as if this whole thing was a promotional.

If that’s my Hum-Sona, then I definitely give my seal of approval, Sombra interrupts your thought process causing you to roll your eyes.

“Yeah, well your little creepy fantasies just might spell our doom. The less people see this the better,” you declare as you, without thinking, immediately tear down the poster with your newly gained hands and endeavor to do the same with any other wanted posters of you that you find.

"I sure hope that this is some sort of set of collectibles that unlocks an awesome weapon or something," you muse.

Bugze, This isn't a video game, this is real life, Selena deadpans.

“Yeah, real life with Humans and a world without magic,” you snark.

…Okay, I’ll give you that one. But even then, I doubt tearing them down will accomplish much.

“It couldn’t hurt. Besides, there’s something strange about these posters…”

Your time as a bounty hunter let you see quite a few, and unless Humans are that much stranger, then something is off about this Wanted poster.

TheRutherford’s Comment

You shake your head at this little mystery and sigh.

“Let’s worry about this later. It’s not even been an hour and it’s dark and I’m already mentally exhausted,” you groan.

Indeed. So far we’ve been lucky in avoiding other human creatures, but we should find some place to rest before it gets too late.

“Well that’s going to be tough. I think we’re in a city,” you say as you look out of the alley way and see fast moving metal carriages of some kind whizzing by. “And bullspit there’s no magic in this world, look at those carriages!”

You gulp looking at the mechanical marvels that make your Derby Racer back home seem like scrap metal. You look behind you to the alley and the Dumpsters at the far end.

“Well, if it comes down to it…but I really don’t want to have to sleep outside. I need somewhere quiet so I can think through all…” you look down at yourself, “This!”

We will need funds in that case. What we have now should be enough for some days, but we will need some sort of income to support ourselves.

“Yeah, I mean I guess I could become a repairpony, uh I mean repair...man,” you grumble at the evil word.

You're tired in an alien city and it's night time.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Author's Notes:

They say there's no rest for the wicked, but what do they know? Help Bug Boy Get Some Rest.

Hey Hive Mind,
Sorry for the delay. Would have had this chapter out right before Christmas Eve, but Lady Luck decided to give me food poisoning for the holidays, and then some healthy doses of overnight shifts at my work.
And since I didn't say it before, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Anyway, thanks for all the comments guys, but sadly I couldn't use them all since some of them were hypothetical scenarios for farther into the future. I'll hold onto them, but just know the story is always changing.

Now when writing Bugze's struggle through this world, just remember that aside from some Magical Girl shenanigans later on, this is more or less OUR boring old world he's stomping through, so no weapons to surpass Metal Gear, or random Kaiju, or anything like that randomly showing up

Also, some of you may have noticed the new title. Puzzling Frost's suggestion was well received by a vocal majority, so congratulations buddy, YOU named the last season

This Chapter's Question is.

What should the Opening theme be?

I've put a placeholder with two Powerman 5000 Songs, but as always you guys should decide, and we'll start with the opener. Do you like World's Collide, or something better? Let me know.

See you on the Battlefield Hive Mind.

Episode 3: Lessons in Food and Lodgings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

As you stare out onto the alien road, lit by countless lights, you feel as though you would be impressed if you didn’t feel so drained.

“It’s weird. Not a few hours ago we woke up and had pancakes with Nightshade and Grandbuggy, and now I just want to go back to bed and forget the whole day.”

Shock can do that. That and the fact that you’ve repeatedly slammed your head into hard objects, both deliberately and accidentally, Selena chimes.

“Yeah…but I’ve done that before and not been tired. This stupid body is way too weak and sensitive. I kind of just want to sleep now,” you say as you look at your side.

APonyReadingFanFic’s Comment:You could sleep in the inventory. (Someone might take it during the night, though.)

Tartarus Fire’s Comment

Your transformed inventory still has impossible space inside, and you have fit countless large inside of it, despite the opening being no bigger than a book. Not to mention it’s where Nightshade slept for the longest time, before she started getting more independent.

“I should reasonably fit inside this…Ah what the hay. This way I don’t have to spend precious bits,” you reason.

I don’t know Bugze, what if some human were to take it during the night? Asks Selena. You pause at that as the thought of being carried off by some thieving mythical monster comes to your mind. Shaking your head you say,

“I’ll have to take that risk. I’ll make sure to hide it though. Noling ever looks behind a dumpster.”

As you get closer to the garbage bin though, the stench really hits you.

“Oh geeze,” you gag. “What the buck do humans throw away that smells that bad?” breathing through your mouth, you open up your Inventory Purse and start to put your foot inside.

As you attempt to worm your way through the opening, you manage to get stuck.

"Gorramit! I'm getting stuck!"

Hmm, the entrance to the saddlebags must have been changed as well...the mare in your head theorizes.

"Really? An unlimited place to store stuff, but not a decent entrance? Ripoff!!!"

Selena chuckles,

Sort of like a reverse genie.Regardless, you should crawl out now before you are unable to.

“Ugh! Can’t anything go my way today?” you groan as you shimmer back and forth, unstucking yourself like Winnie the Pooh.

“Ok, now what?” you ask aloud as you put the inventory back over your shoulder. “I mean, I have slept in smelly places before…”

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

You briefly consider sleeping in the alleyway, at least for tonight anyway. But that thought is immediately thrown out the window when you see just how dirty the alleyway is, and what was making the smell.

“Is that rotting meat!? Oh that is just disgusting! Wait...what in the name of Luna is that moldy thi-OH SWEET LUNA IT MOVED!!!” you shout as you swear you see the amorphous blob of brown goo move.

It’s just mold, it’s not mo-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Needless to say, you ran out of that alley faster than you did from that school. Or rather, you did the approximation of running you’ve been doing, which is still full of stumbles. Stumbles that lead you directly into traffic of those fast metal carriages.

“Ah! Whoa Now! EEP!” you dodge the alien carriages whose drivers clearly don’t understand that a changeli-po-person walking in front of them means slow down.

“This must have been what that virtual frog felt like! Why did I never consider his feelings?!” you shout as you roll out of the way of a larger carriage.

“Get out of the street ya moron!”

“Get a job bum!”

“What’s your problem Schmuck?!” several voices from the carriages call out, no doubt from evil human lips.

“I’m sorry! Walking on two legs is hard!” you cry out in anguish as you stumble and fall on your face in the middle of the road.

Bugze get up before one of these carriages hits you.

“Ya Blithering Drunk!” *HONK*

“AGH! What a horrible sound!” you cry out as you place your hands to your ears. “AH! My ears are all weird and flat! Oh Luna, one of the finger things went inside!”

In your disgust, you manage to bolt upright and make it to the other side of the street, only falling twice more. Once you get to the other side, you see a few pedestrian humans giving you strange looks.

“Cheese and Rice, you things look hideous!” you cry out causing a few of them to scowl.
Before they have a chance to retaliate, you stumble away from the ape monsters down a quieter road.

“OK, that was a harrowing experience through the pits of Tartarus itself.”

You crossed one road. Very poorly I might add, Selena snarks.

“And got away from that disgusting alley way at least. These damned dirty apes and their stupid speeding bullet machines.”

Yes, perhaps you should refrain from insulting their appearances to their faces? We don’t want them to know we come from another reality after all, she points out.

“Ugh, that’s going to be tough. They’re all stringy and their faces are flat.”

Well if we’re going to find an Inn of some sort, you’re going to have to get over your disgust.

“I’m not gonna get over it…but I’ll try to hide it I guess,” you relent as you shuffle down the sidewalk. While it’s only just gotten dark, this street seems nearly abandoned, and covered in trash. Indeed, you noticed before when running from Crystal Prep Academy that the area was nice and polished, but once you crossed a rail road track in your mad dash, the area started to look more run down.

“Great, it’s like the alley way has expanded it’s evil rotting mold influence. Ugh, now where am I going to find some place to-“
You come across a semi-rundown building with a big glowing sign on the front of it that says,

DESPERATE LODGINGS

Right under the sign in tiny print are the words,

For when even your parents’ house is a worse last resort.
You can't help but raise your brow at this as you think,

Well isn't that just nice?

Sadly I believe we are that desperate, unless you believe that alleyway will be a better opti-

NOPE! THIS PLACE IS PERFECT! NO LIVING NIGHTMARE MOLD HERE!
With that panicked thought you begin to head in. Only…

Kersey475’s Comment

You try to open the door that clearly says "PULL" on it, but you have trouble getting your hand to grab the handle.

“Come on, come on…” you mutter as you try and fail to use your new appendages.

Just grip it with your thumb and forefinger, the rest will follow suit, Sombra says matter of factly.

“The Tartarus is a thumb?” you groan back as you flail your fingers around. In frustration you basically end up slapping the doorknob with your useless human hand,

"Stupid, doornob, won't, work!" you shout. “Oh what I wouldn’t give for some good ol dexterous, easy to use hooves! Heck with this, we’re doing this the Earth Pony way!”

You then bend in front of the door knob and open your mouth to grip it in your teeth.

Bugze, I can already tell you that won’t work. Your new mouth is too sma-*SLAM*

“GYAGH!” you stumble backwards and fall down after the doorknob swung out and hit you in the forehead.

“Excuse me,” comes a half hearted apology as some scraggly and pungent smelling human with a beard walks past you and into the night.
Groaning and rubbing the bump on your head, you notice that the smelly human left the door open.

“Thank you!” you call to his retreating form, and he gives a grunt of acknowledgement. With the impassable barrier collapsed, you enter into the supposed Inn.

Kazume Michishige’s Comment

And immediately trip over a large mass and fall to the floor.

“OOMPH!” you grunt as you hit the ground for like the 50^th time tonight.

This is such bullspit! How can anything walk on two legs? It’s physically impossible!

The dragon in Ponyville has a hang on it, Selena counters.

Yeah well…He’s a fluke. Even more of a reason for Nightshade not to be alone with him. Weird bipedalness…

And while Selena rolls her eyes at your overprotectiveness, you turn and see what you tripped over. It’s a sleeping human, laying on the floor right in front of the doorway. Despite you tripping over him, he hasn’t even woken up. The guy just mutters something before turning over in his sleep. Looking around, you can see that there are a large number of humans sleeping on the floor.

Wow this place is a dump, You think as you get back to your feet and make your way past the maze of sleeping homeless people.

Far better than that alleyway, Selena says.

Oh ya, no contest…though that alley didn’t actually have people in it…Your mind flashes back to the rotting meat smell and moving mold. NOPE! No, you’re right. This is better.

Despite the smell, it is preferable to rotting meat, so you make your way to what looks like the desk, which has another human behind it snoring, holding what looks like two action figures.

Ugh, I’ve actually got to talk to it…you mentally groan before clearing your throat, but the human guy behind the counter does not stir?

“Excuse me?” You ask, but still no response. Whimpering, you reluctantly reach out with your overly sensitive hands and touch the Human’s shoulder.

“Hello?!” The human jerks awake startling you and almost making you fall again.

“He-Man!?” He shouts almost fearfully looking around before noticing you, “Oh, just another homeless guy. We’re pretty full, but there might be a spot or two left on the floor. Need bedding?” He reaches down behind the desk and tosses a bundle at you. “Here you go. First night is free, gotta pay after that.” The bundle hits your chest and falls to the ground as you try to grab it.

“Ugh! Stupid unresponsive spider limbs!” you groan. You eventually pick up the padding, which smells faintly of sour milk, using nothing but your forearms. You then give a quick thanks to the man behind the desk, who doesn’t hear you as he starts playing with his action figures.

“Nyeh! I will conquer Castle Greyskull fool!” he says in a nasally voice moving around the purple and blue figure with a skeletal face. You slowly back away from this weirdo and start looking for a place to sleep on the floor.

You eventually find a semi private corner. Semi Private in the sense that the nearest human to you is two feet away as opposed to cuddling you, but it’s all you got.

Pulling your hooded sweatshirt over your weirdly shaped head, you lay down on the smelly mattress and sigh aloud.

Bucking Humans… Bucking Jack for sending me here…Bucking Lady Luck…

Would you have come if you had known?Selena asks.

Yes! Definitely!Sombra replies.

Wasn’t asking you! She chides before asking you again, So would you?

Well…I mean…you remember why you’re here in the first place and sigh again. Yeah, I guess I would have still come, you admit. This is for your sake after all. I made a promise to you remember?

I have not forgotten my bug, she says with a smile. I just wanted to know. Try to get some rest, I will remain alert to your any potential danger.

Thanks Sel…though I don’t know how easy that will be. My freaking spine is different, and I feel all squishy.

Why not use the knock out plushie? She offers. You faceho-palm at that.

I keep forgetting about that handy dandy tool. Well, let’s hope it works here too.

Kersey475’s Comment

You reach in and try to get the Luna plush from the Inventory, only to find you still don't quite know how to work the- ugh- fingers properly

"Oh come on! Stupid wriggly humany fingers!" you growl under your breath.

Haven't you ever disguised yourself as a minotaur or perhaps a griffin? Anything really with opposable digits? Selena asks.

"I suck at changing, remember? Now fing you stupid fingers, FING!!!" you grunt as you try to grab the Luna plushie.

I told you, Sombra says sounding matter of factly, You need to grip with the thumb and forefinger. That’s how Peter picks his fruit.

“Yeah? Well Peter can go buck off the edge of my horn then…If I still had one,” you lament. “And seriously, what’s a thumb?”

The big fat one, he mutters sounding grumpy. Who hates Peter? Honestly.

“Rational Equines, that’s who!” You look at your five fingers and notice that one of them is in fact different and fatter from the rest.

“This is such a weird design…” After a few tries though, you are able to snag the desired plushie.

"Finally! Sweet dreams here I come.” You then stare into the doll’s eyes, and before you know it, you’re out like a light.

Roker12’s Comment

8bitMadness’s Comment

You awaken to find that most of the other sleeping people are gone, and despite everything, you feel well rested.

“Well, guess I wasn’t robbed in my sleep. Now I have to….Uh Oh...”

What? What is it? Asks Selena.
There is something you have to do, but you now must do it as a human.

“I, uh…I have to use the bathroom,” you whimper in dread.

After finding the one, nastiest bathroom inside this whole place, let’s just say it was traumatizing. Now you understand why humans always wear clothes.

“Not only are my dangly bits shaped wrong, but I have nipples on my chest! What sense does that make?! I’m a guy! Why are humans so gross?!”
But after that ordeal, you realized yet another horrible truth. You were hungry.

After asking the weird desk clerk about cheap food, he pointed you to some restaurant with a big yellow M out front.

“Well, it does look like a typical fast food place. Plus that guy did say there were burgers here.”

I doubt he was speaking of Oat Burgers. Can’t you smell it? Selena asks, causing you to stop and sniff. When you do, you stiffen.

“Is…Is that meat?”

It smells similar, but something’s off about it, she says warily, scenting countless oils and grease.

“Well we can forget that. I’m an herbivore. The last time I ate meat, it was Sombra’s smokey hide.”

I wasn’t smoke when you chewed me! That pain was unimaginable!

“Yeah, exactly. So I don’t exactly have a good track record. Besides, there’s no way that smell can make me-“
Your stomach gives off a wailing call like a dying beluga whale, and suddenly, the aroma coming from the place seems much more inviting.

“On the other hand, maybe it’s not meat!” you declare as you head inside. After ordering the first thing you see on the menu above a younger human, you were asked to pay. Since you didn’t have this world’s currency, you pulled out four bits, standard price for an Oat Burger. The human behind the counter seemed startled.

“Is…is this gold?!” the pop mark faced teen squeaked.

“Yeah,” you nod. “Why? Is that not accepted?” The teen quickly looks around before answering,

“Uh, N-no no. It’s fine. Enjoy your meal sir!”
Your bag of mystery food is all but thrown at you as the human pockets the coins instead of putting them in the register. You’d question that if you weren’t so hungry.

Sitting down at one of the tables-

“This is such a weird way to sit. How does Lyra stand it?!”

-You open your bag of food and behold your meal. The fries are pretty much the same as the ones in Equestria, not much changes when cooking a potato, so you scarf them down. The burger on the other hand…

“I…I think it is meat. But if that’s so, then why is my mouth watering so much?” you proclaim in confusion as you clumsily pick up the cheap food.

There is absolutely no possible way you could ever get that disgusting slab of...definitely not meat past your lips, Bugze. I will not allow it, Selena warns, sounding like she’s an inch away from assuming direct control.

"But...food..." You say, almost hurting to give up such a delicious smelling meal.

Oh let him have his fun, this is quite enjoyable regardless... Sombra chuckles.
Your stomach rumbles, much louder than it had to signal your initial hunger.

“It smells tasty though,” you argue.

You said it yourself Bugze, you’re a herbivore. Even then, this thing seems to be mostly just grease and chemicals.I can't have you killing yourself by eating trash.

"But I'm not a pony or a changeling right now, how would you know if my digestive system was compatible with the usual foods or not?" You ask, somehow using your meager intelligence to its limit to construct a logical line of questioning.

That's... A good question actually. Wretch, you're the human expert around here, what do humans usually eat?

Based on the show, they're omnivores. I've never seen them eating things like grass though, so I doubt humans can digest complex plant protein. Maybe they use it as a source of fiber?

"Oh great, now he's making head-canons," You complain, not wanting to listen to Sombra any further.

Well, if you’re omnivorous…but still, this thing can’t be healthy Bugze, she implores.

“Of course it’s not healthy. It’s fast food,” you instruct as your stomach grumbles more. “And it’s true I may be a herbivore…but that’s Equestria Bugze. This disgusting body needs what it wants!”

And with that declaration, you open your jaws to indulge yourself, only to be stopped when you hear someling say,

“Excuse me?”

Looking to the side, you see what you can only describe as a Gothy looking human mare. She has long dark hair, heavy makeup, wears all black clothing, and sounds like if Maud Pie was bored with the world.

“Uh…yes?” you venture.

“I just wanted to say, like…I’m a big fan,” she says in that bored like tone.

“Huh?” you sputter in utter confusion. “A fan?”

“Yeah. ‘Would You Kindly?’ is like, my life’s soundtrack.”
The words are slow and still sound bored, but there is a faint smile on the female’s make-uped face.

“What are you talking about?” you ask. Her face barely registers emotion, but you do notice a slight eyebrow raise.

“You are, like, The Hooded Offender aren’t you?”

If you had had any food or liquid in your mouth, you would have spit them all over the floor.

“I-Uh-Wh-H-Guh-“ you sputter.

How the buck did someling recognize me already!

You are wearing the sweater hood up! Selena remarks sounding worried herself.

Balls! Aw crud! Is she gonna turn me in? I gotta run! I gotta hide! I gotta-

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she continues. “Don’t worry, I’m not one of those, like, nutjob fans, I know you disappeared from the spotlight, I won’t tell. I’m still bummed you all broke up, even if it has been ten years, but I don’t blame you. Your songs are still awesome.”

Your brain kind of crashes at that.

“Songs?”

Just_Another_Guy’s Comment

“Yeah man. The Wanted is still my favorite band.”

The Wanted…I knew there was something off about that poster! Oh Sweet Luna!

What is this female getting at Bugze? Asks Selena, still confused.

Our evil human counterparts aren’t public enemy’s, We’re a freaking Band!

A band? As in musicians? She asks bemused.

Yeah. That old poster was an advertisement! And it was all old and crusty because the band broke up ten years ago…

“Um…Thank you?” you say unsuredly.

“No problem. You rock Offender. I’m still one of your biggest fans,” she says still in her monotone.

Biggest fans? Oh no…Oh Luna No! you start panicking. You get flashbacks to a news report about how Justin Beaver was dragged into a closet by crazed fan fillies saying they wanted to carry his foals, despite his screams for help. You’re doppelganger is a rock star, so what if…

“So,” she speaks again, causing you to start, “I know this is kind of much but…”

Oh gods No! IT’S ALREADY HAPPENING!!!

“Can I like, have your-“

"NO! NOT ME HUMAN! I'M SAVING IT FOR MARRIAGE!!" you scream as you throw your burger at the girl, and run out the door as fast as your shaky legs let you.

In the burger joint, other patrons look very confused by the outburst, and at the gothy looking girl with the hamburger smeared against her shirt.

“…Autograph?” she finishes her sentence in confusion.

As you run into the daylight, you pant and stumble and fall multiple times.

“I am not going to become like Sapphire Shores or that little twerp Pop Star! I’m not!”

Bugze, for goodness’ sake, Selena sighs at your idiotic jumping to conclusions.

“I can’t! Not in this body! Not in this world full of hideous creatures!”

I don’t know. That dark clothing and make up wasn’t all that unattractive, Sombra mumbles.

“I KNEW IT! You do want to buck some ugly ape monster!” you accuse.

I didn’t say that! Sombra defends.

“I’m not going to let you fulfill some weird fantasy of hooking up with your favorite cartoon characters!” Having shouted that aloud, several people on the street look at you with weird looks.

“Ah! More potential fanfillies! You’ll never take me alive!” you yell as you reach into your inventory and pull out the Power Glove.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

Sliding it over your fist, you aim the grappling hook and fire it at a rooftop, and sail away to safety!

-is what would have happened if you hadn’t screwed up the “sliding over your fist” part with your, still, unfamiliar tentacle-hoof-things and pathetically drop the glove before you could aim it.

Well that didn't go as planned. You think redundantly as you hear a hoof hitting someling’s forehead.

Look, I’m just saying that I didn’t find that woman disgusting, that doesn’t mean I want to mate with her, Sombra continues to defend.

“Yeah Sure. Just like Lyra’s fetish for claws and minotaur hands has no correlation you filthy Humy!” you shout aloud.

“Um, are you okay?” asks a voice from beside you.

"Gah!-The Fanfillies have caught me!” you yelp as you fall to your knees. “Not like this!"

“Dude?!” asks a concerned female voice.

"Please just make it quick!" you plead, closing your eyes shut.

Ex-cuse you?! Selena asks with a dangerous edge.

I mean, it’s not like I long for it or anything, but if it’s gonna happen, then you might as well let it ha-

What. Was. That? Selena asks in a voice as cold and foreboding as a frozen lake cracking.

Nothing! I wasn’t encouraging anything! He quickly corrects himself.
You snap your eyes open in determination.

“Oh sure you weren’t! I’ll never let you have what you secretly want Smokey!”

As you stand up, you startle the female human from before. Some green haired, pink girl with headphones on.

“I’m not the Hooded Offender! So leave me alone!”
She cocks her head to the side.

“The Hooded Offender? *Scoff* That dude and his band were sooo last decade,” she declares.

“Exactly! So Noling should be his fans!” you declare before running off, leaving countless pedestrians confused as Tartarus.

“Crazy Homeless Guy,” Lemon Zest mutters as she turns her tunes up and continues jogging.

After some more running, proving you’re getting better at that than simple walking, you come to a stop and gasp for air near Desperate Lodgings.

“That was a close one. From now on, no more wearing the Hood!” you then reach in, and after a few mishaps, you finally pull out your stetson hat and place it on your head.

“There, now I’m inconspicuous.”

You’re wearing a cowboy hat with a sweatshirt, Selena deadpans.

“Ok fine, but at least no one can connect me to my doppelganger.”

Only one person even identified you, and you decided to be an idiot and blew everything out of proportions, she chides.

“Well I’m sorry, but King Crystal kept talking about his fetishes!”

I did no such thing you insect!!! Sombra growls in annoyance.

“Agree to disagree,” you shrug as you look back at the ramshackle inn.

What are we doing back here again? Asks Selena.

“Well, breakfast was a bust, but I do need to know where the nearest library is so I can start researching this world. Otherwise, we won’t know where to start looking for Tech or ancient Sea Ponies. The desk clerk might know where it’s at.”

You are about to enter the door, when you bump into another guy who had also been reaching for the handle. The same guy that swung the door in your face last night.

“Oh, excuse me,” he says.

“No, my bad. In fact, I’m still bad at these, why don’t youuuuu…” your mouth drops as you take in the homeless man in more detail, and he in turn gets a good look at you.

He has long, scruffy orange hair and a beard, and his eyes are blood shot red from some sort of substance. But there’s no mistaking the similarities, even he can see them.

He’s You.

Kichi’s Comment

8bitMadness’s Comment

"WHO ARE YOU!?" you both ask at the same time, in the exact same voice. You are absolutely dumbfounded. You already have found your counterpart.

"Wait a minute, you're me!" you both screech simultaneously.

"And I'm you!" you both continue, still somehow perfectly in sync. You somehow manage to be the first to break the pattern, launching into a strange sequence of questioning.

"If you're me, and I'm you, then WHO AM I? IS MY LIFE A LIE? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED?!"

Your doppelganger doesn't hesitate and immediately slaps you. "I'm the one that should be asking that question! Who are we?! Did I just hit myself?!" he then punches himself under the jaw and collapses onto the ground.

“Yes! Yes I did! What was in that bottle?!” he croaks.

“But if you hit me, and you hit you, and I’m you, THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!” you yell out as you collapse right next to him.

Really Bugze? You're letting yourself get confused this easily? I mean, I know you're not that smart, but this is a new record.

“I’m not smart, so he’s not smart, which means…What does it mean?! Why am I a hobo?! I thought you, I, We were a rock star!”

“I was a rock star. You were a rock star! But then the band died man! It up and died!” your doppelganger sobs. “Oh God, Is This Real Life?!”

“I…I don’t know. I don’t know…” you mutter as you watch your counterpart crying on the ground and twitching from whatever is in his system.

Bugze, perhaps we should move on? Selena suggests.

“I don’t know, should I? I mean, this guy is me, so I guess I’m crying right now? Oh Geeze,” you rub your temple at the headache.

I know this is an inopportune moment, but I’d like to reiterate again, that I was not encouraging-

SHUT UP! Both you and Selena yell.

Your Homeless Former Rockstar Doppleganger is Crying at Your Feet.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsV500W4BHU

Author's Notes:

Well isn’t this Awkward?

Hey Hive Mind,

So yeah, I guess Bugze’s meeting his counterpart early. Not what anyone was expecting huh? Well if he’s anything like other former rock stars, his brain’s probably a bit fried, so have fun with that.

Anyway,here is the straw poll link to decide Bugze’s Opening Theme. I’ll keep it open till Friday to give you all enough time to vote. POLL CLOSED

This Chapter’s Question Is:

What should Bugze’s Ending Theme Be?

While you vote for the opening, we can get the candidates in for the closing theme as well.
So come on guys. Show me what you got.

See you on the Battlefield Hive Mind.

Brown Dog.

Episode 4: Me, Myself, and Crying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Just_another_guy’s Comment: The Beard has to be orange too with Bugzes counterpart. Just saying.

GreyRebl’s Comment

As you watch your human counterpart crying on the ground in front of the cheap inn, you can’t help but feel for the guy. Despite being a hideous abomination in the eyes of Celestia, Luna, and all the old gods, he is still a version of you. Even if he’s got long unkempt orange hair, and a stringy orange beard that would look at home in the Equestrian swamp lands, he IS you.

You can almost hear the multiverse laughing at this turn of events.

Another you from an alternative universe, and he's poor, filthy and homeless, the epitome of the dredges and struggles of a life gone wrong. When you look into his eerily familiar eyes, you can see the defeat, the shell of a dying person. Lost. Alone. Facing something like this again... Even when on the run, you can still never outrun yourself.

You lay a hand over your Inventory, feeling it’s comforting texture. Your daughter has one too, an exact copy in fact. A connection, in a sense... Even when separated, you feel that she's still in there, sleeping in her room as always. With an Inventory of her own, Nightshade is bound to have adventures and a life without regret, without all the pain that accompanied yours...

Isn't that right Nightmare Bugze? You mutter, thinking of the last doppelganger you faced.

But even then, he didn't have a future to look forward to. Neither does this one, who's sobbing into the ground. It's stuff like this that you wonder how in Luna’s name you have the luck to turn out better despite your suffering and circumstances. You sigh, rubbing your neck with your knuckles.

Bugze? Selena asks noticing your mood.

I…I can’t stand this Selly. I’ve got to do something, you mutter to her. She lets out a sigh, knowing exactly what thoughts and feelings just went through your head.

If you must, but whatever it is, make sure it’s somewhere where he’ll stop making a scene. You look around, and thankfully, no one is around, though you do hear the night clerk inside still playing with his toys.

Right. Alright other me, let’s get you somewhere quieter. You clear your throat, hoping the crying human hears before you numbly say,

"Stand up.” Your human self minutely glances up, eyes glinting with tears and confusion.

"H-huh?"

"Come on. Crying into the floor is too low, even for me." You hold out a hand, smiling thinly. "Even for you."

He looks dumbly at the hand with a crooked breath. As if to test if it is even real, he prods a shaky finger to your palm. Your hand twitches from the foreign touch, but you keep it still nonetheless. Then, tentatively, he grasps it. His grip is weak...but it's still warm, alive. To you, that's good enough. He looks up at you.

"W-who are you? Really?"

A pause. Then, you pull him up with a smile. "Let’s just go with BST for now."

And you're going to accomplish what you failed to do last time. You're going to save yourself…as soon as he stops whimpering that is. You take the still shaking human into a nearby alleyway, away from possible prying eyes and ears.

“Alright, easy does it buddy,” you lean him up against the wall where he slides down and tears still stream from your eyes. “It’ll be alright, there’s no reason to cry,” you try to comfort, but he just shakes his head.

“The hell there ain’t. A cleaner version of myself going by an old track of mine is trying to make me feel better. This is it. I’ve finally snapped,” he whimpers.

“No, you haven’t snapped dude. You just need to get a hold of yourself,” you encourage.

“How? How do I do that,” he weeps.

“I uh…” you see him place his head in his hands and shudder, although it’s much quieter than it was in front of the inn. “Actually, why don’t you just get it out of your system. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

He seems to shudder more at that, but you give him his space as he cries into his hands, slumped against the wall.

“Just let it out Me. You have all the time in the world.”

I Didn’t Mean That Literally!!! You mentally anguish as your counterpart still hasn’t looked up from his crying fit.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

Puzzling Frosts’ Comment

You stand there looking at the crying alternate version of yourself, not knowing what to do.

"Dear Luna, is this what I'm like when I lose it? How do you guys stand being around me?" You ask aloud with a twitching eye.

I don't exactly have a choice about it Sombra deadpans.

To tell you the truth though, you don't really cry as much as shout out loud what you're thinking, usually because you forget you don't have to talk aloud for us to hear you. Selena says.

"He's been crying for half an hour!" You exclaim.

Like right now. She adds. If you keep speaking aloud like that the locals are going to start thinking you're crazy.

"Oh please, there's noling around except Mr. Cries-a-lot and he's not paying any attention to me right now!" You retort.

"*sniff* Who're you talking to?"

"Ah crud." You mutter.

The alternate you is looking up at you with two-halves fear, another half confusion, and a final half sadness.

Four halves equal two, Bugze. Selena groans out with a facehoof.

Well he is the second version of him-

Shut up, Sombra!

"Yeah, shut up Sombra!" You say.

"Huh? Sombra? He's here?" Human Bugze asks glancing around him.

"Shut up me! I'm talking to the voices in my head! Stay out of it!" You snap at him in irritation. He closes his opened mouth with a click of his teeth behind his lips. You facepalm at your dumbness and try to save face.

“Oh wait no, I didn’t mean it like-“

“No, it figures. My hallucinations would be crazy wouldn’t they?...” he says in melancholy.

“I’m not a…” you try to say but he is already looking down again, though this time in sadness. No whimpering in sight.

Ok, maybe I should start thinking. But at least he’s stopped crying. Now what do I say to cheer him up? Any tips Selena?

I honestly don't know my bug. This situation is jarring even for me.

Oh come on! You’re the one who always knows what to say to cheer me up and keep me motivated.

Bugze, I already have a hard time keeping you, Nightshade, and Smokey in here under control.

Hey!

But two of YOU? That's a lot to ask from anypony. Thou two of you when I have my body… Selena mumbles in thought.

Alright, I guess I have to give you tha-wait, what did you-

Nothing!She cuts you off and continues with another thought. Although by the looks of things, he's homeless, so other humans are more than likely to ignore him if he talks. Especially considering talking about "another version of himself having voices in his head" will also make himself look crazy.

Huh? You lost me with that explanation,you bumble.

What I’m saying is that if he is you, he'll likely believe what you tell him so long as it's believable, and he can’t jeopardize us because others will think he’s insane. Selena says.

Oh, OK…Wa-Hey!' You think indignantly.

You believed your Grandfather’s paranoid delusions about machines being evil, she points out.

Because they ARE evil. I’ve just been able to keep my sociopathic tendencies towards them in check lately!

Regardless, whatever you say, make sure it sounds credible. He already thinks you’re a delusion of his, and if you’re dead set on helping him, then you that thought must be rid.

Alright alright.Something believable…You relent, and start to ponder your next words.

“Hey, buddy, are you done moping?”

“Heh, I guess,” he says moodily. “I’m already crazy, so I guess I might as well give up and start speaking to my hallucinations.”

“I’m not a hallucination. I dragged you into this alley way remember?”

“Oh yeah BST?” he counters. “Which by the way, is my least favorite song, if you’re not my complete mental breakdown, then what the hell are ya?”

Okay, time to put my skills of deception to use here. It'll be easy this time. He's not expecting it, and there's absolutely no reason for him to disbelieve me. It's time to deliver with a completely cool head and confident attitude. You inhale.

"I'm you from an alternate dimension inhabited by ponies and other sapient creatures that has magic and other forces at work in it. My best friend is a reformed powerful demigoddess that is stuck inside my mind and I also have another slightly less reformed villain stuck in there as well. We came here in search of ancient relics sent here over a thousand years ago along with some other bad guys in order to find a way to get them out of my head and create bodies of their own for them." You tell the alternate you with a completely serious look.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE BUCK WAS THAT?! Selena shrieks with panic.

I DON'T KNOW! I WAS UNDER PRESSURE! THE TRUTH JUST SLIPPED OUT! You answer with just as much panic.

THAT TRUTH COULD HAVE BEEN A FLIPPING BOOK!!! HOW DID YOU EVEN SAY THAT WHOLE THING WITH A STRAIGHT FACE AND-SHUT UP SOMBRA!!!!!

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sombra laughs hysterically.

Oh Crud, Oh Crud. I was supposed to make it sound believable, now there’s no way I can make him take me seri-

“Okay…” your doppelganger says unsure, giving you a weird look. He sits up from the wall and cautiously walks towards you. He holds out a hand and touches your shoulder before pulling it back.

“Alright, I have no idea what you’re smoking, and I still haven’t ruled out the possibility of you being a hallucination…but what you just said sounds like a little girl’s fantasy gone wrong.”

“Oh it’s been anything BUT a fantasy! The world I come from is cutthroat and brutal. The only saving grace is that the folks look a lot better than yours!” you respond indignantly, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

What are you doing? Selena asks.

Well the cat’s already out of the bag, might as well roll with it, you reason.

“Look, I’m not going to lie to you, it’s the truth. I AM you from another dimension. I have a quest, but I can help you out as well.” He shakes his head and looks at the ground, brushing tears off his beard.

“Yeah, sure. You're me huh? I doubt that,” he dismisses.

"I Am! I'll prove it...Uh...." you think of anything you can say to make him believe you.

Kichi’s Comment

“Well, I mean, surely we have some things in common,” you stutter. “Like, uh…our parents died when we were young, and we were raised by Grandbuggy.”

“Grandbuggy?” he asks at the foreign word. “I was raised by my Grandad sure, but anybody who’s listened to my songs knows my folks beefed it when I was a kid.” He shakes his head and spits. “Crazy old fool, I still miss him.”

“Oh, well…” you stammer, “What about Sombra? You heard me talk about him earlier.”

He grunts at that. “Haven’t seen the bastard in years. Not since it all fell apart. Last I heard, he was really into crystals, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh believe me, I know exactly what you mean,” you say, misinterpreting his words.

Crystals are the life blood of everything. My kind are crystals in a sense, he harrumphs.

Don’t care, you respond before speaking aloud again.

“Ok, well what about our daughter? Nightshade?”

“Nightshade?” he asks in confusion. “Buddy, I ain’t got a daughter…Maybe if I hadn’t screwed everything up, things would be different…” he looks down.

Ah, no human Nightshade? You think in disappointment.

Perhaps that is for the best, your counterpart doesn’t appear to be father material, Selena says.

Yeah. Plus I wouldn’t want to look at a version of my daughter and totally be disgusted by her appearance.

Her redesign would be fant-

“NO IT WOULDN’T!” you yell startling your counterpart. “*AHEM* Anyway, what about Nightmare Moon?” you pull out the poster, “I know her very well. Also, what’s Queen of the Hive? Is that this world’s Chrysalis? Because let me tell you, the history I had with her was-“

“AAAAUUUGGHHH!!!” He grunts and grabs the poster out of your hand, crumpling it up in his own. He then kicks a nearby trash can, knocking it over as he starts breathing fast in sadness and anger.

“Whoa, whoa, don’t have a cow, just take it-“

“EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL THAT BITCH….Untill…” he trails off.

"Until...?" you ask tentatively.

"Until that concert... I’d known her back in school, she and I used to be friends, so I gave her a shot and her band opened for us, and it was a great show. Then the after party happened and…” he huffs and scrunches his eyes.

“What happened?” you ask.

“I don’t know. I think Chrysalis put something in my drink because the next thing I remember, she was on the same bed as me, trying to get my clothes off. And then Nimmy…Nimmy walked in…and that Hive slut just started laughing!”

“Oh…” you say in understanding.

“I tried to explain, but she left and cut me out of her life. I have no idea what happened to her, or where she is now…but without her, the band couldn’t exist. Sombra got into his crystals, and I, well…I just spent myself into the ground trying to find some way to make me happy…Trying to find her…And spoiler alert, it didn’t work. I’m just a broke bum, and nobody knows or cares who I am anymore…”

“Oh, jeeze man…” you mutter, not quite knowing what to say. He shakes his head and sniffles his nose.

“Ultimately it was my fault, but still I hate that green haired whore for ruining any future I had with...”

8bitmadness’s Comment

"That's really harsh," You respond. "Somehow this world's Chrysalis seems more evil than mine…although, mine technically killed me…"

“Huh? Killed you?” he asks in confusion.

“Yeah, she caught me giving food to a starving mare, and she killed me for it. She brought me back to, but that initial killing, woof. She may have figuratively torn your heart out that night, but she LITERALLY tore mine out.”

“You’re serious aren’t you?” he asks in awe.

“Yup. I’ve had plenty of other near death experiences too,” you lift up your hoodie and show off the scars that have carried over into your human form, causing the other you to gasp.

“Yeah, it ain’t pretty is it?”

“I was kind of curious why hallucination me had a scar over his eye, but I thought that was just me making you look cool…are…are you really real?” he asks once more. You pause in hesitation noticing that he’s finally looking at you seriously.

Are you sure about this path Bugze? Selena intones.

Sure or not, go with it, this is character development if I've ever seen it, Sombra responds. You swear you can hear the crunching of popcorn.

This isn't your show, Scum! This can have serious real life consequences.

Meh, I really don't care anyways, so long as we don't die. Ignoring the crystal king, you answer Selena’s question as you speak aloud to your doppelganger.

"Yeah… Yeah I’m real. Everything I’ve said before, it's all true. I know it's a bit crazy, but if one of us has gone through worse, it's me, and I came out better for it." You respond.

That's... actually pretty profound. Are you sure you're still the Bugze I know?

"Not only that, But you're not forgotten. Some girl at a fast food place recognized us. You still have fans out there, and I bet you can get out of this rut," You continue, making sure to help your counterpart feel better about himself.

"... You're…You’re right,” he nods. “Hallucination of my broken psyche or not, you’re right. I can’t go on like this. I guess I just have to move on. I haven’t found her in ten years…But I’ll never find her if I’m a worthless bum. I can, and I will get out of this rut!" Your doppelganger responds showing a beaming smile. At least, that's what it would be, had he taken better care of his teeth. “By God, I will get back on top! You hear that world?! Me and my Alternate Universe self are gonna take you down!!!”

“Yeah…let’s keep that kind of talk on the down low. I know the both of us aren’t quite sane, but we kind of gotta hide that a little better,” you implore.

“Oh…right,” he responds.

Okay Bugze, I can tell you're dedicated to this course of action, so I will support you in any way I can.

I won't, but if things get bad, I'll get us out of a bad situation. I have watched every episode of My Little Human after all.

"First things first, we should get you fixed up. If anyone asks, we're long lost twin brothers, separated at birth," You continue, feeling considerably more witty than usual.

“Heh, with Grandad’s reputation, that wouldn’t be too farfetched. God rest his soul….” He says solemnly.

“Well that’s our cue. The first step to fixing you up is getting you happy, and flushing out whatever the heck is in your system. Some food might help, but I only had a few Prench Fries before some fan filly tried to take advantage of me.” He gives you a curious look at that but shrugs.

“Well, I don’t have any money. Kind of spent it all at the bar, till they kicked me out this morning.”

“Don’t worry, I got this,” you say as you pull out several bits from your bag in an awkward manner, still not used to your hands. At least you're getting the hang of them quickly. Your counterpart's jaw immediately drops, and his eyes open as wide as possible.

"Is... Is that gold?" He asks, unable to contain his shock.

"Yeah, why? The burger kid had the same reaction. Is this not the currency here?" You respond with a healthy dose of youthful naiveté.

"No, it's not. Gold is worth a freaking lot!" Your counterpart replies. Even to you it's obvious that he's getting excited.

"You need to keep that hidden until we can exchange it. People would Kill to get that much gold," He continues. You take mental note of this.

"So, are we rich?" You ask cautiously.

“How many coins do you have?” he asks.

“Well I spent four this morning, so 496.”

“Four hundred and…Dude, with this, I don’t have to sleep in this dump tonight, or any night for awhile.”

“Oh…so if I give you these bits, will you be set for life?”

“Well, for awhile at least, but still that’s better than what I’ve had in years!”

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

Huh...being kind of rich. That's...new

What's the matter? Usually when we come across wealth you start shouting aloud just how rich we are.

As well as saying how he'll buy every last bit of those terrible directors movies and 'cleanse' them with fire.

Ignoring Sombra's comment you answer Selena,

I don't know...usually this is the point when something goes really wrong and we lose all the cash. I feel like if I just don't do anything it won't happen this time.

...

Seriously who are you and what have you done with my bug?

"Oh shut up!" The human you blinks his eyes in confusion at your sudden outburst as he says,

"Are you talking to me or the voices in your head?" You roll your eyes at this before saying,

"The voices in my head B2, obviously." Your human counterpart blinks owlishly before asking,

"B...2? What's that?" You roll your eyes again before saying,

"Well since we both have the same name, I figured I should call you something different to avoid confusion. Since you’re the second me, B2!"

“But my name is @#$%&,” he counters, with your original name.

“Oh…right, in this world you wouldn’t have had Cadence to rename you Bugze.”

“Bugze?” he says suddenly, “I haven’t heard that nickname in…wow, when was the last time I heard that? Who even called me that?” he wonders as he puts a hand to his head in bafflement.

“Well alright then, to avoid confusion, and to make me not have to think about my old name and life, let’s stick with Bugze and B2. Sound good?” You counterpart stares at you as Selena says,

Oh come now Bugze. There's no way the other you would just willing allow you to-

"B2 huh? I like it, has a nice little ring to it, plus it makes me sound like the Bomber Plane!"

...I sometimes forget just how dumb you are my bug. In any world.

The Rutherford’s Comment

"Ok, B2, can we go and get this exchanged now?" you ask holding out your bag of bits.

"Um, well it’s not even noon yet, so the bank should be open.”

"Alright, let's go and do that first, then we’ll get food, then we should go about finding me...um, us jobs. You are looking for a job as well right?" you ask your double.

"Y-yeah." He looks away, a bit downcast. "But who is going to hire a washed up rock star bum like me?” He begins to tear up again. "I am a bu-*SLAP* You slap him before he can get going.

"Oh no, we are not going through this again. We are going to exchange this and then you and I are going shopping. We will get us some more clothes and maybe a mane cut for you, then we will start looking for jobs." You then wrinkle your nose, and realize just how bad he smells.

"But first, why don't you go and take a shower, if you are filthy, they will throw us out of any building before we get a chance to buy anything."

"A-alright, if you think I nee-"

"No thinking, you do! Now where’s the nearest showers?"

“Um…there’s a YMCA a few streets down, but they cost money and-“

“We’re rich now. I don’t know what this Yumkaw is, but you’re getting a wash. After that, we’ll get you stabilized, and in turn, you are going to help me get all the latest technology and find the bodies of ancient giant sea ponies so I can grave rob them of their jewelry! ”

“Huh?” he sputters in confusion.

“I’ll get to that later, but for now, let’s go stinky!”

He nods and then leads you towards the building he indicated. Oddly enough, both of you stumble walk. You because of still learning how to be biped, and him because of alcohol.

Once there, you give him a Bit, and B2 walks off to the showers while you sit down on a bench by the road.

Seriously, who are you and what have you done with my bug? Selena asks suddenly.

"What do you mean?" you ask aloud since noling’s around.

You just took control of that situation and thought with a rationality I thought you would never have.

"Hey! I have my moments. Anyway, while I am having this moment of rationality, what do you think of all this? And do you have any ideas of what kind of jobs we should look for?"

Well that would depend on your skill sets, and on you getting better control of your body.

"I know and I will, and you are right. I doubt catching criminals is viable since I can’t do magic. I know I can do a patch job, and buck apples, but I doubt that they harvest apples like that here," you say looking down at your skiny legs.

They usually either pick them by hand or they use a machine.

"Ugh great, they use machines. Those are evil. EVIL!"

*GONG*Enough Bugze! We are not having that breakdown again. Besides, you said you had a better handle on that.

"The thought of them and humans together drove me over a little! And fine, but that still leaves us with a question? What do we do for a job then?"

8bitmadness’s Comment

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

Purely by chance, you find a cork board labeled "Job Openings" on the outside of the YMCA.

"Huh, that's really convenient," You mumble to yourself.

You said it. It's kinda creepy how sometimes the exact thing you need is right in front of you the entire time.

"You're right Selena, and it is kinda creepy," you reply. You skim several of the postings, and notice that a large number of them have already been pulled down.

"Let's see, fry cook? Nah. Butler? No, that one requires a three month training course. Stuntman? Not after last time. I’d be dead within the week, and this world’s Applewood would be burnt down as well." Your eye catches a rather new looking one.

“Oh hey here’s one! With no previous experience needed. For fifty dollars a night for five nights, as a security guard! That sounds pretty good. What’s the name of this pllllaaaa…” You read the name of the company posting and your blood runs cold.

Security Guard Wanted for Fazbear’s Fright

“Oh Tartarus the Buck No!” you say, remembering the horrors you went through at the Freddy Fazbear’s in your world.

“I am not dealing with more evil electronic mascots thank you very much...but maybe I should take the address down just in case. I'm assuming buildings still burn the same in this world.”

Agreed. Look at this one, Bugze, a local school is looking for a janitor. Surely that's safer than killer animatronics.

"That could work. I'm good at fixing things, and even if I mess up at the other stuff, I can just fix things up again. And the school is…Crystal Prep Academy?" You rub your eyes and look again, and yes, the school listed is the one you ran away from the day before.

“Hmm, if I was the janitor, I would be able to move around that place without being suspicious, and I’d be able to find this side’s mirror…but then I’d be around Human Twilight and Armor…”

You take your time thinking of the pros and cons of being a janitor at Crystal Prep Academy. Despite the lack of excitement, it should be easy enough, and it's a security net just in case you run out of cash from converting some of your bits, but being around human counterparts of some of your greatest enemy/acquaintances...

"Hey, Bud, you okay there?" comes a familiar voice.

"WhoWhatWhereWhenWhyHow?!" You shriek, turning around to face B2, now much cleaner. His hair and face anyway, his clothes still look and smell funky.

"Oh hey B2, you shower fast," you speak casually.

“I was in the shower for a half hour, and I've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes."

"Oh, I must have zoned out there. I was thinking."

"Trying to decide on a job to apply for?" Your damp counterpart asks.

"There’s an opening as a janitor at Crystal Prep Academy,” you respond pointing to the bulletin board.

"Oh, that place? It's a rather prestigious school from what I've learned shambling around the area. Pretty much for the rich kids. The cheap public school is clear out in suburbia clear on the other side of Canterlot."

"Canterlot? This whole city is Canterlot?” you ask.

“Yeah, it’s a big city. Probably one of the better ones I’ve been in since wandering the streets,” he muses.

“Huh. Canterlot’s the pony capital in my world. It’s on the side of a giant mountain though. Like literally, it just kind of hangs off the side of it.”

“How the hell could ponies even build a city like that?” he asks trying to imagine said city.

“Magic, Duh!” you say as if it’s obvious.

“…You know, when I sober up, you’re gonna have to tell me everything about this world,” he says with a shake of his head.

“Oh have I got a tale for you. But yeah, let’s go get these bits turned into your damned dirty ape money.” He gives you a quizzical look and you just roll your eyes.

“Don’t give me that look. You and your kind are so gorramned ugly.”

After dismissing the attractiveness of his kind, B2 leads you down the streets towards what is clearly a bank. Even in another world, some things never change.

“Alright B2, you know how your gross hand money works, so you do the exchange, I’ll hang back and stand guard.”

“Stand guard against what?” he asks.

“You know, Random Shenanigans. I lived in a town for a time where crazy stuff happened weekly.”

“Alright, whatever. But I think I should only exchange some of the bits. If I do all of them right off the bat, folks might get suspicious of why some bum has all this gold.”

“Hmmm, good point. Do a reasonable amount then.”

As he nods and walks up to the counter, you keep your eyes peeled at all the humans inside. It’s not the crowded actually. There are humans in business suits, and even one you can tell is a guard of some kind.

You hear a gasp, and see the bank teller human looking at the bits in B2’s hands.

Well that’s a good sign. Now depending on how much he gets, maybe we can get a comfy bed tonight. B2 is then ushered into another room to meet with someone much higher up than the teller.

“Yeesh, what is this world’s economy if Bits brings out the head Fancy Pants?”

“Yes? Did you need something?” comes a male voice beside you.

“Shove off monkey, I’m thinking,” you wave a dismissive hand to the intrusive human.

Said teenaged human just shrugs and walks out.

“Wait a minute, was that…” you turn around and see a white skinned human with blue hair walking out the bank doors. “…Nah, couldn’t be,” you dismiss and turn back to the room B2 went into.

After awhile, he comes back to you with a wide beaming smile.

“So, how much did you get?”

“100 of your gold coins got me 4,500 dollars,” he says as hands you back your bits.

295 Bits Left

4,500 Human Dollars Added to Inventory

“OK, I’m going to guess that’s enough?”

“Oh for sure. With this, I’ll be able to eat steadily, until we get a job. Also, I found a way to save this cash as well.”

Kersey475’s Comment

He then tells you about how when he was in the office, he spotted a few papers on the desk. When the banker wasn’t looking, he ruffled through the papers and found exactly what he needed.

“It was just like in Person of Interest…You ever seen that show?” he asks.

“Umm, there’s a show called Pony of Interest, but I’ve never actually watched,” you admit.

“Oh, well that doesn’t matter. The point is, one of the plot points stuck out to me, and I actually found a document about a building sold to another bank that promptly declared bankruptcy. If that show's logic holds up, then that building should be in a state of limbo." He explains.

"Wait, the buildings are sentient and limber here?" you ask confused.

"No no, that means the building legally doesn't exist so there’s no chance of being bought or inspected. So basically free room and board."

“Whoa, whoa, are you serious?” you ask excitedly.

“Yup. I should have thought of this years ago…though I guess the last time I was in a bank I was kind of being thrown out due to having no cash and all…but still!”

“Awesome, where’s this place at?”

“Oh, not too far away actually. I wrote the address on my hand,” he says showing a bunch of numbers on his disgusting palm.

“Well alright then. Let’s see what this place looks like.”

After more stumble walking from the both of you, you find the building, and it’s not what either of you were expecting.

“A Library? I don’t know. One of my deadliest enemies lives in one of those…”

“Nah man, think about it. Running water, working bathrooms, and plenty of reading sofas to sleep on. Heck, the Wifi might still be working here,” he says enthusiastically.

“I’m going to pretend I know what the last one is and agree with you,” you say as you turn back to the two story tall building who’s front doors are chained shut. “Sooo, any ideas on how to get in?”

“Oh ummm…No actually,” he admits. “I was kind of hoping you had an idea.”

“Well…I do have one, but I don’t know how well it will work,” you say as you reach your hand into your bag.

“And what’s that?” he asks.

You pull out your WD-40, Vice Grips, and a screwdriver.

“Let’s see if handymanning can get a lock open.”

With B2 standing guard, you are able to use your patching tools to surprisingly pick the lock, even with your noodle limbs.

Making sure the coast is clear, the two of you head into the library, and see just how empty everything is.

Just like B2 said, there are couches, and bathrooms, and even bean bag chairs, but all the books have been taken off the shelves. There are some boxes scattered here and there with books inside, but otherwise, this is just a hollowed out husk of a library…and it’s perfect.

“Sweet! No rent for us!” B2 declares happily as he slumps on a couch.

“This will go a long way to helping us save bits, and to store my technology when I find it.”

“What sort of tech you looking for?” he asks.

“Anything I don’t have in my world really. But before that, we need to get you and me some new clothes and food.”

“What, right now?” he whines.

“Yes right now!” you command.

“But I already did something today!” he whines again.

Rolling your eyes, you clumsily grab at him and haul him up. “Come on, if we’re gonna get you back on your hooves- er-Feet, then you gotta put in more effort. Your body may be clean, but these rags absolutely are not.”

“Ugh, Fine,” he groans in defeat.

"That's the spirit you raggedy abomination!"

It’s Now Time to Shop for Supplies.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind,

Sorry about the long gap, I had a serious case of the flu that nearly hospitalized me, and by the time I was better, it was straight back to work…Ugh.

But anyway, Bugze and Human Bugze’s shenanigans have only just started, so have fun with that.

As you can see, the Opening for Bugze in Human Land has been chosen, and now it’s time to choose the ending theme. Since I didn’t get that many new suggestions, the runner ups from the Opening theme will be added to the closing theme straw poll.

VOTE HERE. POLL CLOSED

No Question this chapter, just make sure you guys vote for the ending theme.

See you on the battlefield,

Brown Dog.

Episode 5: Of Public Transport and Shopping Malls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

As your counterpart begrudgingly drags himself off the dusty couch, complaining the whole time, you frown a bit in disappointment.

Kersey475’s Comment

Dear Luna, was I ever this stupid and lazy? you think in annoyance.

Well….Selena trails off.

Wait really? You groan offput.

I’m just being honest. I believe in the early days of our adventure you were, but fatherhood forced maturity and responsibility on you for the better.

Perhaps you should make this drunk adopt a child of his own,Sombra snickers.

Oi! Things are complicated enough already! Besides, this guy doesn’t have powers or helpful mares in his head to keep a kid safe, so no thank you. Turning to B2 you say,

“Enough grumbling, it’s just shopping.”

“Buddy, I was drinking all night. I haven’t slept a wink since yesterday, the last ten years have been flashing through my head, and I’m talking to an alternate universe version of myself who claims he’s from some magical pony land. Give me a break.”

“Well…You can sleep later. Shopping time is now so that we can ensure you even have a future,” you declare and start walking. Rolling his eyes, he reluctantly follows you as you both head out through a back entrance.

No need to advertise where we’re staying, you think as you shut the door.

“Alright, where to?” you ask your slowly sobering up other self. He puts a hand up to his scruffy orange chin and contemplates for a second.

AllenNoir’s Comment: I would suggest going to good will or a surplus stor it will save money and you never really know what you might find there from week to week.

“Well there’s a Goodwill down by the liquor store. They usually got good cheap clothes,” he answers.

“Yeah…I’m guessing that’s some sort of second hand or surplus store by the sound of it, but let’s stay away from anything close to booze for now,” you shut down his idea causing him to frown.

“I ain’t got a problem!” he demands.

“Uh-uh,” you say unconvinced. “But we need more than just clothes, we need food and heck, we can even look for tech for me. Any stores like that?”

“Well, there is the mall, they got a bunch of stuff there, but that’s north of the tracks, clear on up in the rich folk part of town.”

“Well we have your weird green paper money now, so maybe no one will notice if we’re rich or not,” you surmise causing your counterpart to concede, thinking it’s a good point.

“Well alright then. Might want to take the bus though, it’s pretty far.”

8bitmadness’s Comment

"Wait, what's a bus?" you ask in confusion.

He gives you a look as if you’re joking but then his eyes enlighten in understanding.

"Right, right…Pony alternate universe. Guess you being a horse you wouldn’t need one.”

“I’m actually not a pony…well not completely. I’m more changeling, but I do have pony in my blood,” you admit.

“You’re a what now?” he says taken aback.

“A Changeling,” you repeat.

“What the hell’s a changeling?”

“Uh…” you contemplate how to answer that question. “I’ll tell you that later. It’s not an easy answer.” He stares at you for a moment before shrugging.

“Whatever. Anyway, you see them gas guzzler’s racing down the road, not obeying the speed limit,” he points to the metallic carriages on the black roadway.

“Yeah,” you answer as one zips by.

“A bus is kinda like those, only much bigger. People pay to get on and they take you where you need to go much faster than walking can.”

“Huh, neat. Well if you think it’s best, let’s try it.”

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” you scream as the scenery outside the gross smelling interior whizzes by at super sonic speeds.

“There’s no track! This is way too fast! I just sat in some gum! Why are the floors sticky?! What's that smell?! WAY TOO FAST!!! WE’RE GONNA BUCKING DIE!!!”

“Dude, sit down! We’re only going like 45 miles per hour. Everyone’s staring,” B2 implores. Turning around on your smelly and sticky seat, you see other humans looking at you with strange looks.

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!” you yell as the realization that you are stuck inside a hurtling hunk of metal with horrendous creatures strikes you. Your doppelganger just shakes his head.

“I saw my life flashing before my eyes…I don’t wanna go fast anymore…I don’t want to Sonic!” you whimper.

“Jeeze man, I didn’t think you’d freak out that much.”

Indeed Bugze, you’ve driven derby carts, and been on trains at high speeds before.

“My derby racer never reached those speeds, and a train at least doesn’t wobble side to side, or have gross disgusting humans on board!”

B2 just shakes his head at your outburst and places a hand to his head.

“You’re aggravating my hangover man, can you stop yelling? Besides, if you hate lots of people in one spot, you’re not gonna like this,” he says as you both step through the doors of a very large group of interconnected buildings. When you get inside, your traumatizing experience on the bus fades somewhat.

You walk into the mall alongside your counterpart, staring in awe at all of the shop signs. The aroma of different foods hits your weird small nose, and the many glass windows displaying human clothes, and things you don’t even know. And that’s not all, there is a complete second story to this place with humans walking along open paths above you. After a minute or so, you decide to break the silence, though it's not so quiet with all the other humans milling about.

"So, this is basically a large multi level market, right?" you ask.

"That's what a mall is, yes," B2 replies. The both of you begin walking down the main hall of the mall, taking in the sights, although a few people give you and your counterpart strange looks.

"Okay, so what was on the to buy list again?” you ask. He turns to look at you.

“List? We didn’t make any list. You just said we needed to buy clothes.”

“Oh…well what clothes do we get? I’m not the best when it comes to fashion and stuff.”

“What, and you think I am?” He snorts.

“Well at least you’re used to these weird shaped rags,” you complain and tug at your clothes.

“Alright, alright,” he concedes. “If we’re gonna try to get jobs, we want work clothes and boots. A phone would be nice too. Last one I had ended up in some pawn shop.”

“Phone? What, do you just want to set up shop with a rotary or something?”

“Really?” he asks back at your naivete. “Jeeze, how does your world function? Do you have any tech besides trains?”

“Hey, we have TV and video games!” you defend. “I’ve yet to see that in this crazy place.”

He deadpans and nonchalantly points behind you at a video game store, and you see rows and rows of alien, yet nearly similar games to the one’s back home.

“…You win this round,” you concede. “Alright fine, we’ll get those clothes, and our own telephone. And maybe we should get whatever it is a lot of these humans are looking at while they’re walking.”

You point to several humans who are tip tapping and looking down at something that is far too small to be a Joy Boy. Whatever it is, it’s new and might be beneficial to your quest. B2 gives you a smirk you can’t quite read after you say this and chuckles, gesturing you to follow him.

“We’ll hit the clothes store first."

As you follow, you pass by a particularly interesting store.

"Huh, Narnes and Boble," You comment. Underneath the sign in smaller writing, it says COPYRIGHT AVOIDANCE HOOOO!

You look at the smaller text with a raised eyebrow and just shrug and look inside. And what you see is,

“Holy Guacamole, that’s a lot of books.” Sparkle’s library would be jealous at the amount of literature inside this building. Heck, it’s reaching upwards to Crystal Empire Library levels of tomes.

"You sure you wanna go into a book store? We’re gonna be crashing at a library after all,” B2 asks inquisitively.

"Yeah, but for the first time in my life, I actually feel the urge to... read." You respond.

Bugze, are you absolutely sure you're okay? You've been acting strange since we got here.

"I'm fine Selena, trust me," you say aloud.

"Who is…Oh, you talking to the voices in your head?" Your counterpart probes.

"Yep. I'm going to browse inside for a bit. Go get those clothes and whatnot, we’ll be the same size, then meet me at the fountain at what appears to be a food court. That one over there," You comment, pointing at a particularly nice looking fountain by a generic looking Chineighse takeout place.

"You're the one who has all the money though," he points out.

"Right, forgot about that. Here's 500 green paper bit things, "You state, handing your counterpart some cash.

“Well…alright,” he shrugs as he heads off to some clothing store in the corner of your eye. JC something or another as you stare at all the books, and even what appears to be a coffee stand inside.

Before you walk inside though, Selena speaks up with a thought.

TartarusFire’s Comment

Hey Bugze, she says, sounding almost wistful,Do you remember when you're Human counterpart gave you all of the money?

Well yeah, that was what, an hour ago? Also his name is B2 and…wait, what are you implying?

I'm not sure…but he is you Bugze, and you do tend to scheme…

Hey! I do not scheme, I have long and well thought out plans! You defend.

Mhmm, she says thoroughly unconvinced.

Well what about…or that one time when…I…

Perhaps scheme is a bit much, your plans are more heat of the moment.

Hmph. Just you wait until I come up with a good example, you snort. Anyway, what were you going on about B2 scheming?

Well, whether or not he isn't fully convinced you're an illusion is still up for debate, but I find it strange that he would give a random stranger every last bit of a large sum of money. In his mind, You could just randomly disappear forever after all.

Hey that's not true, I wouldn't do that.

Maybe not on purpose, but every now and again things come up, she points out. And also, HE doesn't know that.

Ok, yeah that’s true, but I’m here to help the guy out. Why wouldn’t he have given me all the money from the exchange?

It’s just a suspicion. We gave over about one fifth of our funds, and it just seems like there should have been more by his earlier eagerness.

Hmmm…You do have a point there. But still, the five hundred paper money I just gave him seemed to be enough…

It might be nothing, but still it would be best to have a contingency just in case. I would rather not be taken advantage of.

Okay then. You've got me curious. Any plan?

Well back in the day when I suspected misinformation, I would confuse my target as much as possible, and ask the same question later. If the responses did not line up, I knew they were lying.

Sounds complicated... and tedious. Do we have to? Drunk and homeless he may be, but even I don’t think I would be that much of a jerk to hold out, you complain causing her to sigh.

Alright fine. Just keep your guard up just in case, she implores.

“Yeah, yeah…” you mutter as you turn back to the strangely named book store. “I’ll put that to the test later, but first let’s see what’s up with this place.

And with that, you head inside.

8bitmadness’s Comment

The first thing you see catches your eye, a cardboard cutout of some sort of rectangular device. It kind of looks like a bigger version of whatever it is that practically every human holds in their hands.

"Nook? What's an e-reader?" you wonder as you walk over to the display counter and look at the display table.

“Stores books digitally and lets you read them easily? How the heck does that work? It’s just a black mirror and…Oh….” Your eyes widen in awe. You had reached out your hand to touch the device, and it suddenly came on with a soft glowing light. “Oh this is so cool. It’s like some sort of futuristic note pad or something like on Star Trek. A Joy Boy screen’s got nothing on this!” you exclaim and pick the device up, using all of your willpower not to accidentally drop it.

You then tentatively use your fingers to swipe with it, and you see words displayed upon it. “Oh heck yeah. This thing is definitely going towards our tech scrounge. Heck, if Jack doesn’t end up using it, I’ll just get it for Nightshade. I bet she’d freak over another world’s stories.

It could be a nice memento of the trip seeing as how we have no way to take photographs.

“Oh right…I’m gonna have to get a camera at some point. But yeah, we’re definitely buying it, plus it's not too expensive, only $99…Now how do I get books on it?”

About a half hour later, you manage to extricate yourself from the book store with a brand new device and several dozen books loaded on it. It had taken awhile to explain to the Human Lady behind the desk exactly what you wanted, and to your surprise, you found that the humans have their own Daring Do series. You then had her put anything similar to that on as well.

“Alright, I’ll have to have B2 show me how this thingy works properly tonight. I can’t wait for when Nightshade gets a load of this. Maybe then she’ll do more reading…I wonder how she and the old bug are doing?”

Kersey475’s Comment

"Do I have to?" Nightshade whines as she sits across from Grandbuggy on the train.

"Sorry grandsweetie, but you gotta get some learning in ya," Grandbuggy firmly insists.

"But I don’t want to read boring old books. There’s not even any action in them.”

“Kid, if we’re gonna be questin for these ancient knick knacks, it’s best if you start learning their history.”

“But this isn’t fun reading, this is like homework. Daddy never gave a buck about homework!" she argues.

"And look where that's gotten him," Grandbuggy snarks. “It’s still a long train ride to go kid, it’s either this or nothing.”

"Fiiiiine." Nightshade groans as she looks back down at the textbook,

"Starswirl the Bearded-"

"Pffft. More like Starswirl the Jackass." Grandbuggy scoffs before he changes into Starswirl with a brief flash of green changeling flame,

"Oh look at me, I know everything just cause I have a long stupid beard and know a few advanced spells so everypony should always listen to me." 'Starswirl' says mockingly.

"Uh, isn't that specieist against donkeys?" Nightshade asks.

"It was the DONKEYS who gave him that title!" he says flashing back to his pony form.

“OK, but why do I have to learn more about him?” she asks in confusion.

“Kid, there’s a general rule about magical whatchamahoozits in this world. They were either created by him, or they were created by other idjits just as arrogant as him,” he instructs. The filly just shrugs at this sagely wisdom.

“If you say so Grandbuggy…Do you think Daddy’s doing alright?”

Grandbuggy looks up in thought for a moment. “Well, if I know my boy well, he’s either on track, or doing something stupid…”

8bitmadness’s Comment: I mean, we could always have him buy a crap ton of ball bearings and use them as emergency ammo for the Second Law, turning it into what is effectively an air blunderbuss.

TartarusFire’s Comment: like 2000 snow globes or something You never know when 2000 snow globes will come in handy, trust me.

“Come on Selly. You never know when 2,000 snow globes will come in handy. Plus they’re all on sale.”

For the last time, no Bugze! she orders, and you can hear her facehoof. You are standing in a knick knack shack, and in your hands is an order pamphlet usually given to other store chains.

“Alright fine, what about a crap ton of ball bearings then? We could put them in Second Law if it still works here and turn it into a full on blunderbuss!”

Bugze, she sighs, those metal balls fired from that weapon would tear organic matter to shreds. Do you really want to end up killing someone?

“Oh…didn’t think about that,” you admit, forgetting just how squishy humans are compared to ponies.

“Well if that’s the case, then I guess I won’t be getting anything from this fine establishment,” you grunt as you throw down the paper and walk away from the confused human behind the counter.

“Who the hell was he talking to?” the blue girl with long white hair and glasses asks aloud in confusion.

After leaving the knick knack shack, another store catches your eye and you rush in.

Down With Chyrsalis’s Comment

There are so many clothes to choose from!

They are costumes Bugze. This is literally a costume store. The other You is in a real clothing store, she tries to dissuade.

I… you start to plead while holding some sort of black superhero cape before you relent and sigh. Oh you’re right like always…Dang it! Why can’t I have a better fashion sense!?

Calm down Bugze. Despite everything you did manage to pick out sets of clothes relatively fast back in Equestria. You just have to go to a real clothing store, and not wear what fictional characters do. Sighing, you put the cape back up.

“Yeah, alright. Besides, this cape would have been tainted anyway. Bat-MAN? Bleh!” you gag at the thought of the caped crusader being humanized.
“I guess I’ll just go find B2 and see what he picked out and-OH SWEET LUNA LOOK AT THAT!” you declare pointing down an aisle that has pictures of what you swear is the human equivalent of Neighponese Anime characters.

At the end of this aisle, displayed on a mannequin is something glorious. Your eyes almost pop out of your head as you stare at what you believe is the perfect new coat to wear.

Its a roughly mid-calf-length coat with a standing collar and chains attached. You can't help but stare at it in awe as you think,

It's...perfect!

Oh not the coat lust again, Selena groans.

It’s not lust, it’s Love! You walk up to the coat and feel the material up and down, the sensitive hands for once being perfect for the task. It’s absolutely perfect! Nothing can make this be-OH LOOK AT THAT HAT!

Your eyes sparkle as you see a visored, ornamented cap, torn at the back above the coat You practically rip the two articles off their placements and giggle giddily as you head to the changing room. As you do, Selena sighs before letting out a chuckle.

Hehehehehe....In a way this is refreshing, knowing that despite the sudden set of competence, you’re still the dumb lovable bug I know.

“You say something Selena?” you mutter as you observe your gloriousness in the mirror.

Nothing my bug, nothing at all…

“Alright then,” you say not really paying attention as you bask in your glory. Good Grief, this coat and hat combo make you look like kickflank as Tartarus. The hat is kind of weird in that it’s torn at the back, but your spiky orange hair seamlessly bends into the look.

“Oh I’ve got to show B2 this,” you say giddily as you walk up to the front to pay. After doing so, you walk out in coat and hat, which the counter girl called a Jo Mo costume or something, you weren’t really paying attention to her.

Making your way towards the fountain from earlier, you spot B2 in the food court, with several trays full of different foods, chowing down like Nightshade on a good day.

“Good Grief,” you mutter tugging the cap down over your eyes at what a mess he’s making.

“At this rate he’s gonna need another shower.” You then see that he has bags of clothing around his table. “Well at least he got his job done. Oh, knowing me he’s gonna freak when he sees this co-“

“Ah hahaha! Look at that pig over there daddy. He’s got his slop and everything,” you overhear a very familiar filly voice.

“There ain’t nothing funny about that princess. Filth like that shouldn’t even be allowed in such establishments,” replies another familiar voice, but it sounds wrong somehow.

You look over and see a human stallion and filly, and they are looking at B2. One with amusement, and the other with disgust. With the coloration of her hair and skin tone, not to mention the jewelry on her head, the little one can only be Diamond Tiara, so the frowning adult must be,

“Filthy Rich?” you gasp out.

“That’s Mr. Rich to you!” he says grumpily, almost automatically as he turns to face you. He looks at your face and sees no familiarity there which causes a slight look of confusion to cross his face. “And who exactly are you supposed to be?” he asks looking over your jacket and hat.

What the buck? What’s up with the tone and scowl on this guy?

Indeed, wasn’t his counterpart more jovial?

Diamond Tiara looks over at you and she raises an eyebrow.

“Hey, isn’t that costume that from that weird anime with the fighting ghosts or something?” she asks you.

“Uhhhh….” You drone.

“Hush princess, don’t talk to the riff raff, Daddy will handle this,” he orders her as he pushes her behind him, away from you, before fixing you with a superior look.

Seriously, what the buck humanized Filthy? Why are you acting like you’re stuck up wife?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM&feature=youtu.be

Author's Notes:

Be careful Bugze, not all counterparts are like their pony equals. Remember, Human Filthy Rich is a conniving stuck up douche, unlike his more reasonable pony version, so have fun with that.

As you can see, the ending theme has been chosen. Congrats to The Pony Spartan for the winning theme.

This Chapter’s Question is:
What is B2’s Favorite Food?

B2 isn’t a herbivore, so the possibilities are endless. Show me your thoughts for completely non story related reasons (wink wink )

See you on the next chapter Hive Mind,
Brown Dog.

Episode 6: Jerks, Gypsies, and Janitors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Seriously, why is Human Filthy Rich such a jerk? And why does his chin look like a butt? You wonder in bewilderment as the human stallion talks down to you.

This redesign is actually kind of atrocious. Not a big fan, Sombra mutters.

I hate to agree with you, but yeah. I mean all Humans are ugly, but this guy takes the cake.

And not just that, but this guy’s attitude sounds more like the upper nobility snobs of Canterlot back home. It’s actually starting to grate on my ears.

“And what kind of coat is that to wear sir? It is nowhere near Halloween,” he harrumphs.

“I think he’s a Weeb dad. It’s an anime thing,” human Diamond Tiara adds.

“I don’t know what that means, but seriously man, have some class. This mall still has standards, low as they may be and-“ And he continues to complain to you.

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

This is definitely bad business practice. I’m just a stranger to this guy, and I would never go to his Barnyard Bargains after this.

For the past...you think five minutes this version of Filthy Rich has been berating you, your clothes, your lifestyle choices, and you think he was also insulting the mall too. It's kinda hard to tell since his fancy talk has gotten to levels of confusion at this point.

Bugze? Are you okay, usually you would have acted by now. I can fee. your anger bu-

Relax Selena, I got this.

By now you usually would have probably punched, yelled at, or both to the snob in front of you. But for some reason you can't explain you feel...calm isn't the word for it. You’re still getting more and more pissed off at this twisted version of a pony you respected, but you feel more...contained in your anger. Like something's keeping is helping keep it in check. It's refreshing...and a bit scary. You send the human a harsh glare, that he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Now man, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take my daughter shopping still, away from this particular spot and-“

"You finished?" you interrupt in a deep voice that surprises even you. Finally noticing your glare you take some pride as he flinches while Diamond looks confused.

Deal with snob first, worry about filly later.

"Why yes I am as a matter of fact. Why? Is the commoner finally getting tired and going to say how 'money means nothing' or some rubbish like that?" You simply grunt before responding,

"No, I was wondering when you'd get tired of yapping off so I can go get my brother before he eats himself into a coma."

"Are you saying that talking to me is a waste of time?! Do you know who I am!?" he asks sounding insulted.

"Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I just said your name and all you did was start insulting me and my awesome cloak. Not the best example for your daughter huh?"

"Don’t you tell me how to raise my princess. What would you even know about raising a child?" he glares and challenges.

"More than you, that's for sure,” you spit, thinking of Nightshade. “Parenting is about setting an example for your child before they turn out like you. I almost failed in that department, and trust me when I say it wasn't pretty. For all I know, it might be too late for her," you point to the filly human and she gasps out, feeling insulted. To that, Filthy looks about ready to burst a blood vessel.

Aw crud. Father instincts still exist in this world! You think in dread. With his fists clenched at the insult to his daughter, it looks like Filthy Rich might just throw a punch at you, but then…

"Filthy honey there you are!” comes another familiar voice.

BUCK! Not her too! You panic as you the voices owner walks up, setting her hand on Filthy’s shoulder. Not Spoiled Rich! Oh Luna, if Filthy is a jerk in this world, she must be a million times worse! Though at least her nose is fixed in this world.

As you sweat profusely, and before you can think to bolt, she speaks up again.

“I found some matching swim suits for-“ she then notices you and her husband’s angry face. “Oh, sorry to interrupt honey. Who’s your handsome friend?” she says in a giddy, pleasant voice that her Pony counterpart never displayed.

...

...

...

What?

What?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’m handsome? No! EWWWW!!! Gross! I don’t want to be handsome to disgusting apes! Especially not her! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! While Sombra laughs his flank off, and your brain shuts down from that “compliment,” Filthy doesn’t fair much better.

“Wh-What? Spoiled!” he says feeling embarrassed. “He’s not a friend, he’s a low life ruffian who tried to tell me how to raise Diamond and-“

“Filthy,” she says in scolding manner with her hands on her hips. “What have we talked about?” To this, he unclenches his fist and sighs, all the tension leaving his body, like a scolded dog.

“That insulting people is bad for business…” he says reluctantly.

“Exactly. You can’t go yelling at folks no matter how stressed you are,” she encourages. He sighs again and says.

“You’re right honey…”

“I usually am,” she smirks. “Now, why don’t you and Diamond go on, I’ll meet you by the perfume counter.”

He nods, and walks off with his head down, not even looking back at you as Diamond follows, throwing dirty looks back at you.

Spoiled then looks back to you and smiles.

“I’m sorry about that. I’m assuming Filthy gave you a hard time?” she asks with care in her voice.

“Uuuuhhhh…” you blather, your voice not working.

“Don’t take it personally, he’s under a lot of stress. He’s trying to close a business deal for some prime forest land and it’s not a smooth process. Even still, you didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry if he insulted you,” she says in genuine concern.

“Uhhh…” you still blather in confusion. She then reaches into her purse and pulls out a gift card.

“Here, to make up for any rudeness on my hubby’s part, take this. It’s good for 50 Dollars at any Barnyard Bargains. I hope you’ll still shop at our location.” She places the card in your hand while you still don’t know how to deal with the situation.

“Anyway, I have to go now. Have a nice day Handsome,” she says cheerfully, giving you a wink as she wanders off towards her husband and daughter. You stand there, Gift Card in your outstretched hand, for a good few minutes, before your brain reboots.

WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED?

It appears this Human Mare is the reasonable one in their marriage in this universe, Selena hypothesizes.

But…what sense does that make? Is that like it for all dopplegangers? Are we in the evil counterpart universe after all? And was she hitting on me in front of her husband?!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!Sombra continues to cackle.

She better not have,Selena says in conviction. Though I rather think she was trying to diffuse the situation if anything…Just like her husband’s pony counterpart would have done…

Ah that just isn’t right. What does that mean for everyone else? Up is Down, Black is White! Ponies are Humans! It’s all wrong I tell you! It’s-

*GONG*

The reverberations help clear your panic as you catch your breath.

We’ll worry about inverse hypotheticals later Bugze. For now, just be thankful they’ve left you alone.

Right…right…Still though that wink…You shudder at that as you make your way to B2, who is just chowing down. There are several plates of food in front of him.

“Yeesh B2, how hungry were you?” you ask, causing him to turn around and his eyes to widen.

TartarusFire’s Comment

He stands up dramatically putting his hands to his face and screams,

“OH MY GOD!!!” This startles you into nearly tripping over your feet, and makes other people in the food court look at him curiously.

“What?! What is it?!” you gasp looking around.

“That’s a pretty sick coat and hat man. Where’d you get it,” he says calmly as he sits back down in his chair.

“Really?” you grunt in annoyance. “You had to yell about it? I know the coat is awesome, but really?”

“What?” he shrugs, “I thought it looked good on me. But no seriously, where’d you get it?” he asks as he starts eating again.

“Over at the costume shop,” you say as you roll your eyes and sit down in front of him. “I don’t know what it’s from, but some filly said I’m a Weeb if that means anything.” He just shrugs and swallows his food.

“Don’t know, sounds like some sort of car or something. The Nissan Weeb…does that sound right?”

“Do I look like one of those small bus death traps?” you counter.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

ThePonySpartan’s Comment

“Good point. Also, there’s been something on my mind. You said trains don’t wobble back and forth. Isn’t that exactly what a train does? I’ve been on a few in and out of cities.”

“I meant they don’t go side to side, moving freely all willy nilly. Trains follow the tracks, they don’t just keep sliding on different sides of a road…Why were you thinking about that?”

He shrugs again, “Dunno, just going over everything you’ve said today again now that my mind is kind of clearing. I’m still tired as all Hell, but some of the haze is gone.”

“Is that why you’re eating so much food? Trying to stay awake?” you ask.

“That and I am freaking hungry. You want some?”

He slides over a pizza slice to you. At least you think it’s a pizza slice.

“What’s this?” you ask.

“Extra Cheese Cheese Pizza. It’s cheese pizza, with extra cheese on top, with cheese stuffed crust, and optional blue cheese dipping.”

“That’s…a lot of cheese,” you muse looking at the gloriously unhealthy creation in front of you.

“Eyup, but it’s delicious. I always get it half just the cheese, and half bacon. Figured if you were a Change Horse thing that you wouldn’t appreciate it.”

“HayBacon’s good,” you admit. “It’s one of the only things I’m truly fanatical about.”

“Amen to that brother,” he says as he takes another big bite and you bite into yours. Just as you thought, it’s Dangerously Cheesy.

“Woof. I feel like this is going to make me sweat cheese,” you mutter as you keep eating the artery clogging masterpiece.

Kersey475’s Comment

“Oh if you think that’s good, you should try theFool's Gold Loaf sometime. I used to eat those all the time on tour.”

“Is that a pizza?” you ask naively.

“Nah dude, it’s a sandwich on steroids. What you do is, you get an entire loaf of bread, and fill that with an entire jar of peanut butter, and a jar of jelly and a pound of bacon. You slather that baby with a whole stick of butter and toast it golden…” he says in remembrance. A bit of drool leaks out the corner of his mouth, and despite yourself, you can’t help but fantasize about it as well.”

That abomination would surely kill you through sheer cholesterol intake Bugze, Selena scolds.

Yeah…but it sounds so good… And while Selena rolls her eyes, you and your counterpart continue to eat. When the last plate has been vanquished, he belches and looks to you.

“I got everything I wanted. How about you?”

“Yeah I’m good. I also got this,” you hand him the Barnyard Bargains Gift Card. “Should be good for groceries.”

“Aw sweet. I love the bakery pies they have,” he says enthusiastically.

“Yeah, even if their owner is kind of a prick. Though I wonder if my discount card works in this universe…?”

After that, the two of you grab the clothing bags, and B2 leads you to the exit. But before you get there…

Kichi’s Comment

You are suddenly bumped into by Human Diamond Tiara.

“Oops, sorry Mister,” she says almost suspiciously.

“Eh, no problem kiddo, why don’t you run along before your dad starts yelling again,” you suggest and she kind of smirks before skipping off.

“What was that all about?” asks B2.

“Eh, I ran into her and her dad earlier, and he’s a jerk,” you answer truthfully.

“Aw, some rich blowhard?” he surmises.

“And then some. But she’s just a little filly, so she’s not all that bad,” you comment. As soon as you say that though, a piercing alarm goes off just as you were crossing through a doorway.

"Gaaah! The sky is falling!" you shout, flopping to the ground and covering your head with your wriggly hands.

"No it ain’t, that’s an anti-theft alarm. Did you forget to pay for anything?” B2 says as he looks through his bags of clothing.

“Nah, I bought this hat and coat legally. Is my Nook technology setting this off?” you sputter.

“Huh?” B2 asks in confusion. As he does, a Uniformed Human guard of some kind starts walking over to you.

“Excuse me, may I see your receipt please?” he asks.

“Uh yeah, just hold on a sec,” B2 says as he opens up his bag, showing the guard and hands him the slip of paper.

“You too buddy,” the guard says, causing you to roll your eyes. You put your hand in your pocket, and as you do, you feel something round and made of glass. You pull it out, and see that it is a bottle of pink perfume with the price tag still on it.

“Huh? Where’d this come from?” you ask in confusion. The guard just raises an eyebrow at you, clearly not believing your shock.

“No seriously, I don’t know where this came from I swear,” you protest.

“Buddy, I hear that every day,” the guard sighs. “Look, I don’t want to write up a report or anything, so just pay for it and everything will be cool alright?”

“But I don’t even want this! What do I need with 100 bi-er-Dollar perfume? I…”

“Don’t worry, I got this,” B2 interrupts as he hands over the cash to the guard who just nods.

“Alright, just don’t go doing this again or you’re not coming in this mall again understand?”

“Yes sir, thank you sir,” B2 says nervously as the guard leaves.

“Why the buck did you do that? I don’t want this mare stuff,” you say glaring at the offending bottle.

“Because I don’t want to be kicked out of the mall man. I’m already a filthy bum, and finding a job is going to be harder if I get in trouble.”

“Oh alright fine,” you huff putting the perfume into your bag.

1 Bottle of Perfume Added

“I still say that’s a waste of cash. I don’t even know how it got in my pocket in the first place!”

That little brat! Selena suddenly gasps out in your head.

“Huh? What brat?” you ask aloud confusing B2.

That tiara wearing brat! She bumped into you out of nowhere and was acting suspicious. She planted that fragrance on you, she says heatedly. You think back to a few moments ago and what she says makes sense.

“Oh Come On! I Gave Her the Benefit of the Doubt!” you groan in frustration.

“Yo, other me, don’t go talking to your voices right now, others are watching,” he points out. Other humans are indeed staring at you, creeping you out even more.

“Buck off humies!” you grunt and walk out the door, with B2 following.

“What’s up with you?” he asks as he stomp off.

“That little filly planted that perfume on me to get me in trouble. And to think, I helped pony her fix her attitude problems.”

“Ooookkkkaaayyyy…” B2 says unsurely before he notices that you aren’t stopping. “Hey, aren’t you gonna hop on the bus with me?”

“I’ll walk! I assume you stupid humans have been doing it for years, and I need the practice away from that smelly death box!” you shout back and continue to walk your frustrations out.

“Alright, I’ll meet you at the library then!”

“Yeah yeah…”

Bugze, It might be a bad idea separating from your doppelganger, Selena warns.

“It’s fine! I’ll find my way there.

“Where the buck is the library?!” you yell as you take street after street trying to find your way back to your temporary home. And unsurprisingly, you’re lost. You’ve somehow managed to enter the maze that is Suburbia.

“Why do all these streets and houses look the same?!” you groan as you continue to wander around lost and confused.

I told you to stick with the other you, Selena scolds.

“And as usual, you’re right!” you agree huffily. “Ugh, all I need is some direction!”

“Hey Mister, if you’re looking for spiritual direction I can help!” comes a bubbly cheerful voice that you would know anywhere. Whipping your head around you spy the speaker and your jaw drops.

Kersey475’s Comment

“PINKIE!?" you state in alarm seeing a head of pink fluffy hair you'd recognize in any universe in a cloak and fortuneteller's hat.

"Yup, that's m- I mean- Noooo" Pinkie says in a faux-spooky tone, "I am Madame Pinkie, caterer of fate's destinnnnnny…Nice coat by the way."

“Uh…Thanks?” you answer as you look at her surroundings. She has a small purple pop up tent over her, set at the edge of a suburban house and lawn, presumably hers. In front of her is a cloth covered table and crystal ball. And despite her being human, it’s unmistakably her. The same eyes, the same smile, even the same feeling of unease and comfort around her.

Regardless of what universe we're in, Pinkie will always be Pinkie. Selena observes.

Be wary, she might have a canon full of cake to blast you, Sombra shudders remembering his last fight with her.

Good advice all around…but what’s she doing? I thought magic didn’t exist here? And why does she look so young?

"Enter the chamber of Madame Pinkie Pie. For the answers you seek let us consult the mystical orb of fate's destiny."

Well if anyone can access what little magic that exists in this world, it'll be Pinkie Pie, you theorize, Might as well see if this Pinkie really can predict what's in store for me.

With that you shrug and take a seat in the lawn chair in front of her and her crystal orb.

"Before the orb can answer, you must provide a most vital ingredient."

"Ingredient? Like what? Hair? Blood? Bone?"

“Ew No!” she gags. “Money silly,” she says holding out her hand.

“Oh, right,” you chuckle nervously. “How much?”

“10 for a fortune, 20 for it to be less cryptic,” she answers. Rolling your eyes, you hand her the bill that has a 10 on it. She smiles, and places it in a jar that reads,

Limey and Marble’s Movie Cameo Fund

Before you can even question what that means, she continues.

"Look deep into the crystal ball... for soon it will reveal all! Ah, yes, I see something... It is a vision of the future... I see... you, "

"Really? Wher- WAH!" you say leaning in closer only for you to accidentally trip and bang your head against the orb cracking it.

“OH NO!” Pinkie gasps.

"Horseapples! Don’t worry, I can fix it!" you say reaching for your duct tape only for the orb's cracks to start glowing orange as it shakes violently and erratically.

"HIT THE DECK!" Pinkie yells as the orb explodes sending surprisingly harmless pieces everywhere.

"Your destiny! This is incredible!" Pinkie exclaims, "You will be involved in a great battle, a Candyland piece in an awesome conflict between multiple agents of fate commenting and guiding your every mov-

"Yeah, yeah, That’s old news," you casually dismiss causing her to sputter. “Large battles, and yadda yadda, I deal with that practically every year. Does my fate say anything more recent? Like where I can find what I’m looking for?"

"Uh..." Pinkie Pie says confused at your casual dismissal as she takes out another orb from under her hat and starts waving her hands around it,

"Since you clearly do not care,
Let us see what you will soon have to bewar-"

"Do you really have to speak like that?" you ask in slight annoyance.

"It's in the fortune teller's rule-scroll." she nonchalantly says as she pulls a contract out of her hair before putting it back. With that Pinkie concentrates on her orb again,

"When the Sunset starts to rise,
You will have to help open its eyes.
And when you duel the sisters three,
Music shall be your key."

You wait for her to continue, but she says nothing more.

“What that’s it?”

“Yup.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense! Where are the Red Stones? What pieces of technology do I need besides my Nook?”

“Buddy, you broke my main orb and you didn’t pay for the less cryptic reading. Fate is fickle,” she says nonchalantly.

“Ugh, fine,” you huff and give her another ten. “Now what does that mean?”

“Basically, be a good person, make new friends, listen to a good song once in awhile, and have fun,” she says without the cryptic voice.

…I’ve just been bamboozled…By Pinkie Pie! Groaning at the Fortune Cookie Wisdom, you ask

“Can you at least tell me how to get out of this maze of houses and get back to my library?”

“Sure I can. Giving directions is a freebie,” she smiles and your face goes blank.

Really?

“So, which library are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. It’s all run down and out of business. It’s close by some train tracks I think.”

“Train tracks?” she says confused. “Those are clear over in South East Canterlot, how’d you get way over here?”

“I took a bus to the mall, and didn’t want to ride back, so I don’t know,” you admit.

“Oh, well if you take two lefts, one right, and then head about a mile East towards the Grocery Store, there’s a bus stop,” she offers.

“Awwwooo, do I have to?” you whine to the teenaged girl.

“Well unless you want to walk until it gets dark…”

“Ugh…Fine…Thanks Pinkie,” you groan as you get up from the chair and walk your tender feet towards the bus stop.

And while you still curse your lack of tough hooves instead of weak feet, Pinkie mutters to herself.

“What a strange guy…Wonder how he knew my name?” she then shrugs and sits back waiting for the next customer. “You know, I bet I’d have more visitors if I set up at Sugar Cube Corner instead of my own house…”

After another horror filled trip on the Tartarus that is Public Transportation, you eventually found yourself in the right part of the city, and through the grace of some higher power, you found your library.

Entering through the back, you groggily make for the couches and see B2 sprawled across one, snoring quite deeply.

“He’s got the right idea,” you say as you take another couch. “Seriously, today was all kinds of weird. I met my washed out alternate self, found a place to stay, almost died from that Evil Bus. Twice! And met a few counterparts…Not a big fan of most of them.”

Well at least you seem to be on good terms with this world’s Element of Laughter, Selena points out.

Yeah, which is more than our first meeting back home. Maybe that will help out when B2 and I apply for Crystal Prep. If the bookworm and her brother are there, chances are the rest are as well.

So they’ll potentially be wearing school uniforms then? Sombra asks eagerly.

Put a sock in it ya dang filthy humie, you chastise.

Well, Selena interjects, I suppose on the bright side we did make our first step forward in our technology hunt.

“Oh yeah,” you mutter as you pull the Nook out of your bag and turn it on. “I bet if these get reworked into Equestria it will put Twilight’s Library out of business.”

She’s a princess now, I doubt she requires the money, Selena points out. Frowning at the reminder, you flick the Nook on and hit a random book.

“Yeah, but a guy can dream can’t he?” you then cast your eyes upon the electronic scroll book.

“Poetry huh? Well, let’s see what Humans enjoy…I Have a Rendezvous With Death…”

You shudder as goosebumps break out across your body and you gasp.

Bugze? Are you alright? Selena asks in concern.

Yeah, yeah I’m fine, you say as you get yourself back under control. Just…Just had a weird feeling…

You then look back at the “cheerfully” titled poem some human wrote and read the entire thing. Each verse sticks with you, and you don’t know why. You still wonder this even as you fall asleep.

8BitMadness’s Comment

After a night of restless dreams you awake, well into the afternoon, still feeling groggy.

You don’t know why, but that poem just wouldn’t leave you alone. You look over to your counterpart, and he is still asleep. You lean over and start shaking him.

“Hey. Hey B2, wake up.”

“Ugggghhhh, I don’t want to go to school Gramps…just five more minutes…” he groans.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up,” you order shaking him more.

He immediately opens his eyes in confusion before holding a hand to his head.

“Ohhhh…” he groans.

“Are you OK?” you ask.

“Hell no. My subsequent hangovers have all caught up with me…” he groans and looks at you with squinting eyes.

“And Holy Hell, you’re still real.”

“As I’ve repeatedly said,” you say sarcastically with a roll of your eyes.

“I…I just…Oh God Sobriety sucks…Can’t I just, lay here for awhile and eat some chips before we talk? I still gotta get my head wrapped around this.”

“Where’d you get chips?”

“You gave me that Gift Card Yesterday…Wow, you actually did. Heh,” he chuckles as he slowly pulls out a bag of chips and begins to slowly eat out of them.

“Um…How long are you going to take?” you ask.

“I…I don’t know…just give me fifteen hours or so…”

“Oh Come On, I wanted to get you that job at Crystal Prep so that we can find that magic mirror ahead of time,” you complain.

“Magic Mirror? Is that where you came from or something?”

“Yes and no, what happened was…” you are interrupted as you hear him snoring, with a chip in his mouth. Rolling your eyes, you say, “You know what, I’ll wait till you’re all mentally there to tell you that tale. So, just sit there and eat your chips, I’m gonna go get us that job,” you declare as you head to the door.

"SHHH! This is a library!" B2 shouts suddenly sitting up.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING THEN?!" You respond in kind.

"I DON'T KNOW, WHY ARE WE YELLING?!" He returns.

"…I don’t know! Just eat your chips, I’ll be back,” you declare as you walk out the door

You exit the library, and somehow manage to navigate your way to the school without incident, or without having to ride the unholy bus again. Really it was Sombra’s directions.

How did you know how to get back here? You ask as you stand in front of the doors where you first landed in this world.

While you were busy spazzing, I was taking in the wonderful scenery of this place. It’s much easier when you pay attention.

“Aw shaddup Smokey Joe.”

And just like B2 said, there aren’t any students in site. Whatever Holiday it is, plus it being Sunday, helps immensely. Entering through the front doors, you immediately enter the door labeled 'Office', and walk up to the secretary.

"Welcome to Crystal Prep, how can I help you sir?" she asks, clearly unenthused at life in general. You hesitate for a moment, then manage to gather enough confidence to speak.

"Yeah, I'm here to apply for the janitor position." You say with purpose.

"Oh, you're looking for Scruffy then. He's probably in the boiler room. Napping. Again." She replies in a monotone.

"And how am I supposed to get there?" You ask.

"Main stairwell down the hall, go down two flights and go through the red door labeled 'Maintenance', you can't miss it." Taking her advice, you walk off, but not before hearing the secretary mumble something along the lines of "Finally, the floors haven't been properly cleaned in months."

Once you enter the boiler room, you immediately see a man sitting in a chair, with his legs crossed and resting against a desk. He is asleep, and has a magazine with a scantily clad human draped over his face, which disgusts you immensely. He is wearing a dark sea green pair of work pants, a matching jacket with a sky blue shirt underneath, work pants, and a belt, as well as a burgundy hat.

"Excuse me? I'm here for the janitor job?" You announce, waking the man.

Now that the magazine is off his face, you can see a gray, unkempt soup strainer of a mustache on his face.

"Huh, who? Oh. Why are you down here?" He asks in a very deep voice.

"I'm here for the janitor job." You reply.

"Oh. You're hired. Name's Scruffy, I'm the Head of Maintenance," he says while opening up his magazine.

"Wait Really? Huh, that was easy. I expected an interview or something." You say taken aback

"Nope. Too lazy." He replies and flips the page.

“Um, don’t I need to fill out paper work, or sign my name or something?” you ask.

“Don’t see why any of that would be important,” he shrugs. “You’ll get paid cash under the table. Helps avoid taxes and what not.”

This can’t possibly be this easy, Selena says, just as aghast as you are.

“But…but what if I was some sort of crazed killer or something? You don’t want to check that out?” you ask, still confused as all Tartarus.

“Meh,” he shrugs. “What you do on your own time ain’t my business. Truth be told, I’ll probably forget what you look like on a daily basis.”

“Wait…so if I suddenly came in here with longer hair and a beard one day, and was clean shaven the next, you wouldn’t bat an eye?”

“Hmmph. Your hair is your business,” he mutters. The old human continues to read his magazine and you just stare in wonder and amazement.

"Dude, how have you not been fired yet?" You inquire, genuinely confused as to how this man has kept his job.

"I used to be a teacher here, and managed to secure tenure. I also have a position on the school board. Good luck getting rid of Scruffy," he responds followed by a long sniff from his nose.

“Okkkaaayyy. I have no idea what that means…” you babble. “Uh…is there something I have to do now?”

“Nah. It’s a holiday weekend. That’s why I’m here “cleaning up” for when the twerps come back Tuesday.” Remembering the secretary muttering under her breath, you wonder the validity of that statement.

“OK. Do I need a uniform or…?”

He just points to a set of lockers to the side. “Grab as many as you need. Come in tomorrow, Tuesday, or whenever, and just clean and all that.”

“Right…” you say as you head to the locker and pull out a pair of jumpsuits that look as if they’ve never been used.

“So…I guess I’ll be going now,” you say as you stuff the jumpsuits into your Inventory.

“Mmhmm,” he murmurs.

“But before I go, have you seen any magic mirrors that lead to another dimension anywhere on campus?” you ask.

“Don’t rightly know. Don’t get out much,” he grunts.

“I figured as much…” you groan.

“You want more info, ask the Vice Principal with the Sweet Can when she comes in on Tuesday,” he advises. Gagging at the thought of a human having a sweet can, you head for the door before he calls out.

“Oh wait, there is one rule you should follow.” You turn around and his eyes are still on the magazine.

“And what’s that?” you ask curiously.

“Don’t get on Cinch’s bad side.”

Whoever Cinch is, you know it’s bad to get on their side if Scruffy actually went out of his way to warn you.

Gulping, you give a nod which he doesn’t see and make your way out of the school.

So…I guess I got B2 and myself a job/cover.

And rather simplistically as well, Selena says still in bemusement.

I guess it’s true, you can always count on the laziness of strangers to make your life easier.

That’s not how the saying goes…but I suppose the results speak for themselves, she shrugs.

After a few more hours of walking (you are getting better at it) you reenter the library to find B2 in the same spot he was at before you left, still eating the same bag of chips.

"How the buck do you still have chips?" You ask.

"Turns out there were a few left in the bag. I almost threw them out!" B2 replies, somehow incredibly proud of his "accomplishment". “Also, you’re saying it wrong, it doesn’t start with an B.”

“The buck you talking about?” you ask.

“See right there,” he points at you. “It isn’t buck, it’s fu-“

“I don’t care,” you wave him off as you sit down across from him. “It’s my world’s curses, and I refuse to use any human-centric ones.”

“Right…horse world…” he muses as he places the chips to the side. “So did you get the job?”

“WE got the job,” you say as you pull out one of the jumpsuits and throw it to him. “The head maintenance guy is one of the most laziest people I’ve met, Human or otherwise. We can take turns, at least until I find that mirror. I still have to search for the Siren stones, and get more technology as well.”

“Okay…” he trails off looking at his jump suit, before looking back to you. “Say, do you mind, you know…Explaining some stuff now?”

“Huh?” you ask taken aback.

“It’s just that, well, my head is cleared now, and I can kind of accept the craziness of what happened yesterday…but I still don’t know much about you. You’re me from some sort of Magical Horsey Dimension and are a Shifter or something right?”

“A changeling actually,” you correct.

“Yeah that. But still, I’d like to know what’s going on. Why you came to this world, what you need tech for, and more importantly, what’s this other world like?” he asks in curiosity.

Looking into his eyes, your eyes, you see a hunger sober mind wanting any and all information after the hardships of a decade.

Are you sure you wish to tell him everything? Asks Selena trepidly.

Yeah. If he’s going to be my partner in crime so to speak, he needs to be filled in. It will help with our quest if everything’s on the table. Besides, if I can’t trust myself, then who?

Very well then, she relents. Just don’t embellish too much.

Smiling, you pick up your own bag of chips.

“Well B2, the reason why I’m here is actually a pretty long, and chaotic tale.”

He shrugs and sits back, “I got time.”

I know you do buddy. Nodding at this you continue.

“Alright then. Well first of all, the world I come from is called Equus, and on that world is a country called Equestria…”

The wind rushes past your face, humid and warm, as the vast green of the jungle blurs beneath you. It’s only been a couple days since your Dad went through that portal to the otherworld, but you and Grandbuggy have wasted no time in speeding up the plan to get your Mommy a body.

And so far, this adventure has been amazing, despite the boring history lessons, because now you are doing something not even Daddy can do.

“You alright back there kiddo? We’ve been at it nearly all day, do you need a rest?” Grandbuggy calls back.

“Are you kidding? No Way!” you cheer triumphantly. “I can’t believe I’ve gone my whole life without this before!”

“Heh, all four years of em,” he jests before setting his eyes forward. “We’re almost there anyway.”

“Awww, I kind of don’t want this to end,” you whine. “But you were right, walking would have sucked.”

“You’re Goramned Right Kiddo. I’m just glad I could finally share this again…” he says wistfully. “But get beside me now, you never know if his stupid hired help might take a shot at us.”

Nodding, you put on a burst of speed and zip past Grandbuggy before doing a loopy to loop and stay in formation beside him.

“You’re a natural kid,” he compliments as he gives you a mane rub, and you giggle.

“Well it’s true. I’m Kick Flank at Flying!” And it’s true, considering you only learned how yesterday.

ThePonySpartan’s Comment

"Kiddo, I think it's time you finally learn how to fly," Grandbuggy announces to you while in the middle of dray canyon. You two had trekked about half a day after being let off at the southern most train stop. After that, there were no signs of civilization, only wilderness.

At your Grandbuggy’s sudden declaration however, you forget your surroundings and stare blankly at him for a hot second, before you turn your head in surprise and stare at your wings.

"I... kinda forgot I had these," You admit sheepishly as you give them a few flaps.

"You get that from your dad," Grandbuggy explains, “But unlike him, you’re wings are fully functional, you’ve just never been taught how to use them. And I can tell you this much kiddo, I ain’t walking all the way to my buddy’s jungle home.” With that, he transforms into a pegasus stallion.

“Wait, why do you have to transform?” you ask.

"It’ll be easier to show you how to use your type of wings. My natural wings work a bit differently.” He then flexes the wings in his pony form, “Now, let's get started."

You practiced for hours, eating and drinking on occasion and making progress very quickly. The old bug wasn't the greatest flyer by far, but if there’s anything he’s good at, it was teaching.

He taught you how to hover, how to fly backwards, how to dive bomb, and even how to fly upside down. And like a duck to water, you took to it. The final feat came when he lead you higher into the air, and you landed for the first time on a soft pillowy cloud.

“Wow, these things are fluffier than I thought,” you squee as you lean down to take a bite. Unfortunately for you, clouds only take like water.

“Kid,” Grandbuggy pants while beaming with pride. “You are by far the fastest learner I’ve ever seen.”

"It's not that hard really. I don't get how Scootaloo can't do this, This is so fun!" you cheer and hover off the cloud.

"Easy, sure, but mastery is difficult. You’re no Wonderbolt, but I have high hopes for you kiddo," he chuckles and tussles your mane.

Beaming from nose to tail, you know that you’ve just unlocked a whole slew of possibilities.

“Maybe one day I can fly around as my alicorn self with my friends…” you think in wonderment as the ground blurs below you. “And when Spike finally gets his wings, we can fly around together.”

“What was that kid?” your Great Grandbug asks.

“N-Nothing, just thinking aloud,” you chuckle.

“Well get your thoughts together then filly, we’re here,” he points ahead of you and your jaw drops. You see some sort of ancient, square shaped temple jutting out of the jungle.

“Holy Guacamole…” you gasp as you two land in front of the massive structure.

“Heh, if you think that’s impressive, you should have seen when it was first built,” Grandbuggy chuckles and walks forward.

At the entrance to the temple, there are several stallions holding spears, and wearing leaves and jungle make up on them. They level their spears at you two and shout in some sort of language you’ve never heard.

“Oh get those Goramned things out of our faces or I’ll smack ya silly!” Grandbuggy orders harshly causing the stallions to wince and take a step back.

“Now I know ya’ll can understand me, so run and tell yer boss that a very old friend is here to see him, and he brought cigars,” Grandbuggy pulls out a box of the smelly things from his own pack and tosses it to one of the stallions who nods and runs into building.

And while you two wait in front of the structure, you look to your surroundings and see countless other Jungle Ponies, even a few mares as well.

“G-Grandbuggy?” you ask in awe. “Who exactly is your friend?”

“Oh he’s an overdramatic blowhard that tries too hard to be flashy and loves big cats,” he explains.

“Big Cats? Are they fluffy?” you ask excitedly.

“Well, the little one maybe, but I’d stay away from the others. I don’t think you’d want to play with the Tiger.”

You cross your arms, “I’ll have you know I pet a giant three headed dog into submission once.”

He turns back to you in confusion,

“Wait a sec, you’ve met Cerberus? When the hay did that ha-“

“Quick Fix~” comes a very excited accented voice. “Dios Mio, is that really you?”

You and Grandbuggy both look back to the entrance, and while Grandbuggy smiles, your jaw drops in shock.

“You know it Ahzy!” Grandbuggy laughs as he trots forward, meeting the tall…cat thing halfway and the two embrace in a hug.

“Stars above, I thought your old hide was dead,” Grandbuggy’s friend guffaws.

“Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated,” Grandbuggy laughs uproariously.

And while the two of them continue to laugh and enjoy each other’s company, there’s only one thing that comes to mind that you can vocalize.

“Grandbuggy, What The Buck?! You’re Friends With The Bad Guy From Daring Do?!”

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind,

It’s time to start Nightshade and Grandbuggy’s adventure. We’ll go a couple of chapters focusing entirely on them and give Bugze a break. So yeah, what shenanigans will these two unleash? As a side note, this is happening before the Daring Don't Episode.

Also as a note of clarification, in the first chapter Bugze did not see those images of the future. Those were for our own benefit.

Last Chapter Answers Were Used in the Story. I told you the question was for non story related reasons...but I lied

This Chapter’s Question is:

What Should Nightshade and Grandbuggy’s Opening Theme Be?

They’re on a different quest than Bugze, Selena and Sombra, so what should their theme be?

Give me some suggestions.

See you in the comments Hive Mind,

Brown Dog.

Episode 7: Negative First Impressions

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

Master of Shadows’ Comment

After yelling out your confusion and shock, Grandbuggy and the villain turn to you inquisitively. And really, you can’t believe it, but the evidence is there right before your eyes. Daring Do's most hated enemy Ahuizotl stands before you.

Not only is this guy somehow real, but HE'S FRIEND'S WITH GRANDBUGGY?????!!!!!!

Him being real is one thing. You’ve met so called “Fictional” characters before, the Doctor and Pyramid Head to name a few, but the fact that he is real and chummy with your Great Grandbug just does not compute.

"Okay what the BUCK is going on here?!" you scream again as some of your hairs stand on end.

"Whoa there kiddo language," admonishes Ahuizotl.

“Buck You! I Say What I Want!” you shout in defiance. As you do, Instinct overrides everything else in your mind. The instinct that says, Bad Guy equals kick in the nads while yelling some sort of one liner. So as you declare your independence for saying any filthy bucking thing you want, your hind leg flies forward and strikes true, for you are a master at your art.

“EEEEEEE!!! Madre De Dios!” the tall villain cries out as he crumples to the ground, holding his nethers. This causes the tribal ponies to get into defensive stances and point their spears at you and Grandbuggy. The old bug turns to you and gives you a stern look.

“Now Nightshade, what’d you go and do that for? You ain’t even been properly introduced to the guy yet.”

“Introduced?!” you screech. “That’s Bucking Ahuizotl!”

“Oh, so you’ve read the books then. Well that’ll make explanations easier.” He then turns to the stallions pointing the spears at them. “And what did I tell you colts about the Goramned Sticks?!” he yells causing them to flinch as he walks over and helps Ahuizotl up.

“Madre, the pain…” he groans.

“Oh don’t be a drama queen, you’ve had worse. But, eh heh, sorry about that. She gets it from her dad.” As the villain gets to his feet and calls off his guards, he gives you a reserved look.

“Her Padre?” he asks. “And who is this Alicorn child?”

"Hey I'm the one asking the questions here!” You shout back, still in your own defensive stance. “How do you know my Great Grandbuggy?"

"Great Grandbuggy?” he asks taken aback. He then looks to the old bug in confusion. “Wait Quick you had a kid? And a grandkid? AND a great grandchild?! When?! How?!"

"Alright, alright now everyone calm down. Can we please discuss this inside? I'm very tired from the flight over here. I'll explain everything over lunch how's that? I know you're hungry Nightshade." Grandbuggy says with a sigh. As if on cue your tummy makes a loud grumble reminiscent of a beluga whale, causing you to blush.

"Oh finnneee,” you huff as you stand down and walk to his side. “But you’ve got a lot of explaining to do mister!"

Ahuizotl still looks confused as all Tartarus, but he nods with an “Aye.” He then snaps his claw finger things and calls out.

“Ramirez, tell the kitchen to prepare the Carne Asada…She can eat that right?” he asks Grandbuggy.

“She’s more pony than changeling in the long run, so I’d say no,” Grandbuggy answers as he starts walking into the temple, with you nearly glued to his side.

“Right…Make that Cheese Enchiladas then,” he orders and a stallion runs off to do just that.

And though some good old fashioned Mexicoltan food sounds nice, you still don’t trust the big cat thing with a hand tail at all.

He falls into step with Grandbuggy as you walk, but he keeps throwing curious glances at you before he sighs and says,

"I know you wanted to discuss over lunch, but I really must know some details compadre. She really is you great granddaughter?”

“Yeah! Can’t you see the family resemblance?!” you spit back, not being nice to him at all.

"You have no idea." Grandbuggy sighs with a roll of his eyes and looks to you, “Play nice kid, he’s going to help us after all.”

“But he’s a Bad Guy Grandbuggy! Haven’t you read the books?” you declare.

Kichi’s Comment

"Bad guy?" he declares in indignation with his hands on his hips. “I’m the bad guy?”

"Oh boy, here he goes,” Grandbuggy facehooves.

“Child, do you know how much money your dear Daring Do makes from all those books?”

“I have no idea, I didn’t even know she was real five minutes ago, much less you!” you answer back.

“Well guess what, it’s a lot. She franchises her image and adventures into stories and films using her A.K. Yearling friend, and we get nothing! I never gave her permission to put me into a story either, and I can’t exactly sue because I’m sort of wanted in several countries, but the point remains, she’s infringing on my image!” he complains.

“Oh…Well still, you put her into death traps and stuff all the time. That’s pretty evil,” you counter.

“Bah!” he waves his paw. “She exaggerates. Besides, why should I go easy on her? She paints me as some two bit villain. We are rivals. Rivals I say! She puts her artifacts into museums, and all I want is power from ancient civilizations. How’s that any different than the Princess De Sol using those Element thingies? Besides, the amount of destruction she leaves at ancient sites is atrocious and-“

“Alright, alright, we get it,” Grandbuggy interrupts. “Daring Do is bad, and we should feel bad and blah blah blah.”

“Right…” Ahuizotl composes himself. “Sorry, it’s a sore spot for me child.”

“Not the only sore spot,” you snark causing him to wince and Grandbuggy to chuckle.

“Good one kid. But yeah, I’m still too hungry to listen to your gripes buddy. We’ll discuss the intricacies of image infringement, and your unhealthy bondage fetish later.”

“Wh-What?!” Ahuizotl blushes. “I-I-I don’t do that because I enjoy it, it’s so she can’t escape and-“

“Yeah I don’t care. Food first,” Grandbuggy declares grumpily. Your tummy again accentuates that statement and the villain nods.

“Fine, fine, yes we shall dine,” he relents.

“And it better be good,” you demand causing him to sigh.

“Don’t worry Shade, ol Ahzi complains a lot, but his hired help do make a mean meal.”

You are about to some something else huffily, about him having a nickname for his Evil Buddy, but then you gasp in amazement as you enter a larger cavern with brighter lit passageways.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

The interior of the temple is... well, ancient looking. You notice a lot of the walls are covered in blocky, complex, carvings that are painted over in bright blues, greens, yellows, and a lot of red. Also, teeth. Lots and lots of animals and monsters snarling, growling, and biting things, so their teeth are very prevalent in these carvings as well.

You are conflicted on this. On one hoof, the presence of such raw and intimidating images makes you think you shouldn't be following the creature that lives with these images on a day to day basis. But on the other hoof...

This place is so bucking cool! It's like I’m really on a real life Daring Do adventure…Although maybe from the wrong side…

Eventually though, you are led further in and surprisingly, there is a semi normal looking dining table. Shortly after sitting down, the Cheese Enchiladas come, and you forgo thinking about good and evil, and just chow down. And boy is it delicious.

Eh, maybe I’ll give this guy a chance. He is feeding me after all, you think as you down a fifth plate of the cheesy goodness.

“She, uh…She has quite the appetite mi amigo,” Ahuizotl declares in fascination as you continue to chow down.

“That she does you abomination of nature,” Grandbuggy chuckles and Ahuizotl purses his lips. “Any doubt now that she’s my kin?”

“No. No doubt about it…but you said she’s your great-granddaughter. How did you have time for that?”

Grandbuggy sighs and wipes his lips with a napkin. “I’m much older than I look buddy. When I was running around with you and the others, I’d had a fully grown daughter back at the hive, and she had started a family of her own.”

“Oh…I see,” Ahuizotl nods in understanding. “Well, you certainly don’t look that old Fix.”

“Just old enough,” he chuckles as does the tall cat creature.

"Well I suppose the timing makes sense…but she’s an alicorn. How did that happen?” he asks curiously.

"My grandkid met a nice a nice alicorn lady and they made Nightshade here together," Grandbuggy replies in a “it’s obvious” kind of voice.

Ahuizotl stumbles in his next question and rolls his eyes. "... I walked right into that one didn't I?" he asks rhetorically.

"Eeyup." Grandbuggy answers and chuckles. “Ain’t that right kiddo?” he asks.

You swallow what’s left of your Sixth Enchilada and look back and forth between them. "Yeah... Mom and Dad made me…the way I guess all babies are made, with the Stork and stuff” you answer even though you have absolutely no idea how that works, or why you don’t look, think and act like other Four Year Olds.

He fumbles with his words again, and for some reason Grandbuggy laughs at this, even if you don’t see what’s funny.

“Dios Mio…Which Princess?” he asks Grandbuggy in fascination. “There’s only three, well four now, but she wouldn’t be old enough. Which one did your Grandson ensnare?”

“None of the above actually, but that’s neither here nor there,” Grandbuggy dismisses as he leans forward. “I didn’t come to just catch up Ahzi, I came to call in the favor…” Ahuizotl visibly begins to sweat at that.

“Oh…you have have you?” he stutters.

“Eyup. It’s time to pay up buddy.” Ahuizotl slumps his shoulders at that.

“Alright then…what is it you want mi amigo?”

“Well, let’s just say, I’m in the need of some artifacts. I need maps, locations, heck, if you’ve got some on you cough em up.”

“Artifacts? That’s it?” he chirps up seemingly happier. “Well that I can do. Just tell me what you need and-“

“The first thing I need is a Ring of Scorchero.”

“Oh Come On!” the villain complains. “Anything but that! I’m planning something with those!”

“Yeah, well you’re gonna have to hold off on your plans because me and the little lady need it.”

“Oh...but I already hired Cabelleron to retrieve a few of them…” he whines.

“Dr. Cabelleron is real too?” you speak up. Grandbuggy scowls at that.

“Jumping Rheesus Monkeys Ahz, what you doing working with that Flankhole again?” he growls. Ahuizotl looks a little sheepish at that insinuation.

“Well…he is effective and relatively cheap…”

“Yeah, he’s a cheapskate jerkoff is what he is,” Grandbuggy shakes his head in disappointment.

“Look, when you’re trying to bring Heat Waves to the Jungle, there’s only so many that will help out!” Ahuizotl complains.

And then they go back and forth like that for a while, doing grown up talk, which is just playground squabbling with bigger words.

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

8BitMadness’s Comment

Is this what it’s like for those fillies on TV when their parents drag them to a meet-and-greet or something? There has to be something around here for me to do...

“Ugh,” you groan and push your plate away. “I’m bored. Are we getting what we want or not?”

“I’m negotiating little senorita,” the villain explains.

“Ain’t nothing to negotiate, you owe me!” Grandbuggy demands.

“But Fix, this is so sudden and-“

“Where are the kitties at?” you demand.

“Huh?” both grownups ask.

“I said where’s the cats? If you’re gonna keep on like this, I want to at least play with something.”

“Oh, they’re in their cages down the hallway and to the left,” he points.

“But only play with the little one!” Grandbuggy demands.

“Fine…” you groan as you get up from the table and stomp down the hallway while they continue to speak.

You walk down the hallway, and eventually do find the Cat room. The big ones, including the Tiger and Black Panther are all in their cages and growl at you, but sitting atop their cages is an adorable little kitty cat with big eyes.

“Awww, you look so sweet,” you coo as you walk forward.

“Meow?” the kitty asks.

“Yes you are,” you gush as you scratch it’s head. “You almost make up for the fact that my Grandbuggy is chummy with a Book Villain…though he’s more whiny than the books portray.

“Meow?” the cat asks.

“Yeah, I guess that is harsh,” you admit. “If he is gonna help us get what we need to help Mommy, then I shouldn’t judge too much. Besides, everyone’s always saying she and Daddy are villains without getting to know them first.”

“Meow.”

“Dawww, thanks for saying that,” you coo and scrunch his face up. You then hear a sad mechanical whine and look back to see Mangle giving you the saddest look a robot fox could give. It’s like you’ve completely torn her clockwork heart out.

“Oh no, Mangle, this isn’t what it looks like,” you defend as you let go of the Kitty’s face. Mangle barks sarcastically, clearly not buying it.

“You’ll always be my one and only pet Mangle,” you implore. “I just wanted to meet some new adorable creatures. I’m not replacing you I swear!”

Barking and slapping your hoof away, Mangle jumps out of the Inventory and squares up with the Kitty, putting her dukes up like a boxer.

“Mangle! We’re guests here, we can’tjust up and start a Fight Club all willy nilly!” you admonish.

Your jealous pet just barks and continues to jab at the air, enticing the kitten. Said feline gives your Plush Bot one inquisitive look, licks it’s paw…and then what happens next, you’re still confused. In a blur of white, the Kitten jabbed, kicked, elbowed, threw, and pile drived your robot six ways to Sunday. This all happens in the span of about five seconds, and with one final uppercut, Mangle is thrown up into the air, and into an open garbage chute where she screams as she plummets into it’s depths.

“MANGLE!!!” you screech and look down the hole. You then look back to the hidden badass kitty who just licks it’s paws like nothing happened.
“Bad Kitty!” you declare as you throw yourself into the chute and plummet.

Thanks to your new found flying prowess, you don’t hit the bottom hard, unlike Mangle who lies in a heap of something soft.

“Mangle, are you Ok?” you ask as you bring the Fox up to it’s feet. Mangle holds a thumbs up, but is swaying side to side and holding her head.

Sighing that she’s safe, you go into lecture mode, “Well that was your own gorramned fault. Picking fights with other pets is not cool. I’m not gonna replace you you dummy,” you scold and bring the fox into a hug, which it returns.

“I’m just glad you landed on something soft to break your fall. What is this thing anyway, it’s kind of squishy,” you say as you shift your weight. Seeing as how it’s dark at the bottom of this pit, you change your eyes to Changeling Blue to help see in the dark better and when you do, your jaw drops for what feels like the millionth time today.

After flying up garbage chute, and admonishing the bad kitty again, you head back to the dining room with your new passenger in your Inventory. Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl are still talking while pointing at a map.

“The dragon scepter shard is a suicide mission, so I advise against that,” the cat creature advises.

“Meh, Torch ain’t so bad so long as you don’t cheat at cards,” Grandbuggy hoof waves.

“Very well, but the fossilized dragon egg is trickier and-“

“Um, excuse me?” you interrupt, causing them to look to you. “Can I talk to my Grandbuggy alone real quick?”

“Uh…sure Shade,” he says in confusion as he starts trotting towards you. “What’s up?”

“Um…more alone? Out in the hallway maybe?” you implore causing him to raise an eyebrow. He relents though and looks over his shoulder. “Go ahead and mark the Egg spot, I’ll be back,” he instructs. Ahuizotl nods and does just that as you lead him into the hallway.

“Alright kid, what’s wrong? Why do you look so nervous?” he asks with concern.

“Ummm,” you fidget as you place a hoof behind your head. “I may have done something…bad.”

His eyes widen a little, “Did you play with that Tiger?”

“No," you groan with a roll of your eyes, "He’s still in his cage, though I don’t he would have gotten me into this mess!”

“What mess kid, slow down?” You take a deep breath and try to compose yourself. You upturn the Inventory and a Pale Yellow Pegasus mare with grayish hair flops out. She has a big red bump on her head from where Mangle hit her as she snuck through the Garbage.

“I Maaaaaayyyyy have accidentally knocked out Daring Do…” you chuckle nervously.

He looks from the knocked out mare to you and back a few times.

“Hooo Boy…” he groans as he rubs the back of his own neck.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind,

So yeah, Nightshade’s gone and done the thing.What happens next? Remember, this is way before the Season 4 episode, so keep that in mind. Also, I think it’s rather obvious, but no killing allowed.

Anyway, have fun with that.

This Week’s Question is Same as Last Week’s since I only had a few suggestions.

Give Me Options for Nightshade and Grandbuggy’s Opening Theme.

They’re on their own adventure, and they need their own theme, so give me some good ones.

See you in the Comments Hive Minders,

Brown Dog.

Episode 8: Daring Do and the Bumbling Chuckle-Bucks

As you and Grandbuggy look over the Tomb Raider that your pet robot fox accidentally knocked out, you begin to panic a little.

“I swear I didn’t mean to do this, but Mangle got jealous of another pet, the kitty curb stomped her and threw her down the Garbage chute, and-and…”

“Hey hey hey kiddo, calm down, it’ll be alright,” Grandbuggy comforts as he puts a hoof on your shoulder.

“Alright? How can this be alright? I knocked out Daring Do! I mean, I know that’s like an accomplishment or something, but now we’re going to be villains in her next book,” you moan.

“Eh, with copyright laws and all it won’t be exactly us…but yeah, she does hold a grudge,” Grandbuggy nods.

“Ugh,” you groan. “I’m gonna be labeled as a freaking villain. I mean buck, I brought her inside Ahuizotl’s house for crying out loud.”

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

"Wonderful!"

You and Grandbuggy whip around in surprise and see an ecstatic Ahuizotl.

"Ahui? Were you eavesdropping again?" Grandbuggy asks in annoyance.

"Yes I was, a bad habit I know, I know. But I just can't resist knowing what others are talking ab-,"

"-talking about because you worry it's about you, behind your back. Yeah, I know. But you seriously couldn't just give me a moment of privacy with my Great Granddaughter?" Grandbuggy interrupts Ahuizotl.

"...Sorry." He apologizes sheepishly. Which looks weird on a massive cat amalgamation like him. Then he turns serious in his expression. "Now then, I'd say it's time to address the issue at hand." He says with an evil grin down towards the knocked out Daring Do. Hearing this, you leap between him and the pegasus with a large bump on her head.

"Not a chance!" You declare up at him fiercely.

His face... does an interesting slew of transformations. First it looks like he's surprised, then it looks like he's going to start laughing, and finally it pulls up short and settles on a face that just says "oh wait, I can't actually do anything to her." You briefly contemplate how you’re able to read his face so well, but shove it out of your mind to keep focused on defending Daring Do.

"What if... I said please?" Ahuizotl asks hopefully.

"Nope!" You respond.

"...Pretty please?" He tries.

"Uh-uh." You shoot down.

"What if..." He starts

"You can have her if you give us the artifacts we need without any argument." Grandbuggy speaks up.

"DEAL!" Ahuizotl agrees with a pointed finger at him.

"Grandbuggy!" You exclaim in disbelief as the old Changeling magically lifts you to his side away from the knocked out pegasus.. “What the buck?!”

“Calm down kiddo, this works out well for both of us,” he answers nonchalantly.

“Grandbuggy, we can’t just let him have her! He’s a villain! Who knows what he’ll do to-“

"Blackmail shall be mine!" Ahuizotl declares while popping the cap off of a black marker that he pulled... from somewhere. He then begins to draw cat whiskers on Daring's face with the marker using his tail hand thing.

"Wait what?" You say in confusion at this and stop struggling in Grandbuggy’s grasp.

"Ahuizotl here likes to draw faces on unconscious ponies and put pictures of the end result in a scrapbook of his. Shameful I know, but everyling has their hobbies,” he chuckles and releases you from his magic.

"This will be my twenty-third masterpiece of Daring Do!" Ahuizotl informs you giddily, drawing away on her face and giggling like a child.

This wasn't in any of the books…you blink in confusion as he pulls out a camera and snaps a photo of her.

“Tee Hee Hee! Oh Magnifico! Look at her little whiskers, hee hee,” he giggles.

You look at Grandbuggy with the most dumbfounded look you’ve held since that time when all those Pinkie Pies were jumping around Ponyville.

“Wh-What is…I can’t even…”

Grandbuggy chuckles and ruffles your mane. “I know it’s weird, but in the long run relatively harmless. The guy just really likes cats is all.”

*CLICK* “Oh Ha Ha! Her tongue is hanging out. She’s doing a blep!”

“I…The books and movies…He was all evil and scary and…” you stammer as your brain tries to process this information.

“Heh, don’t count him out. He can be real terrifying when he wants to be…or at least act like it,” Grandbuggy relays.

Ahuizotl continues to take more photos of the passed out mare and you shake your head.

“Grandbuggy, how the Tartarus did you even meet this guy?”

Kersey475’s Comment

“Actually it’s kind of a funny story,” he starts. “You see back when your dad was just the littlest larvae and…his folks were still around, I got a mission from the former Queen.”

“Wait,” you interrupt, “Queen Chrysalis is that old? I thought she and Dad went to school together?”

“Nah, not little Chryssy,” he clarifies, “Her bitch of a mother. And if you thought Chryssy was bad…” His eyes take on a hard edge as unpleasant memories come to him, but he shakes them off and continues his story.

“A-Anyway, I was sent as basically an envoy of the Hive to try and procure Magical Artifacts from my good buddy here.”

“An envoy?” you ask in confusion.

“Yeah. See, Ahuizotl here has a keen sense of smell, so transformations don’t work on him. So we decided to drop the subtlety as a “sign of good faith” to him and the other less than stellar Archaeologists. Heh, that stupid old moth actually thought she could make allies of Tomb Raiders,” he spits.

“But…isn’t that what happened?” you ask as another camera flash goes off, followed by a giggle.

“Heck no. That mission was a failure because I decided it to be so. I met Ahuizotl and the rest over a game of poker and I knew I’d rather run around with them than give any help to the crown.” Grandbuggy smirks. “Well, aside from Cabelleron that is. Pegged him the moment I played cards with him.”

“He’s that bad huh?” you ask.

“Oh he’s much worse in real life. The guy’s a Grade A Flankhole. Not only that, but he’s a fraud. The Dr. in his name isn’t even official, he forged a Doctorate. He just likes the way it sounds,” he grunts and spits. “Not only that, but he cheats at cards!”

You quirk an eyebrow at that.

“Is that why you really don’t like him? Did he beat you at cards?”

“Oh no, he didn’t “beat” me kid. Just because you cheat, doesn’t mean you’ll win. Especially when you know the tricks I know. I slaughtered his flank and took over half of what he’d brought to the table,” he says in nostalgia with a huge smile before it falls, “Of course that’s the same game where Gallant True won my box of Cubhayen Cigars…”

“Gallant True?” you ask in shock and point to the passed out pegasus. “As in her Uncle Gallant True?”

“Oh yeah. Guy can definitely be a stick in the mud, but was nowhere near as bad as “the good doctor”” he says with air quotes.

“Eh hee hee. No you can’t haz Cheeseburger Daring Do. Only good kitties get that, not ones that steal names and likenesses and gives them to two bit writers,” Ahuizotl says as he places a shaming poster in front of Daring.”

“So, Gallant True isn’t so Gallant, Cabelleron is a fraud, and Ahuizotl is just a troll?” you ask watching the display.

“Sounds about right,” Grandbuggy nods.

“Why was none of this in the Daring Do books then? Is A.K. Yearling just making stuff up or something?”

“Well you gotta remember kid, this is all from one perspective of the story. There’s always another angle, if you’re willing to look,” he says sagely.

“Right…just like how it is with all of us,” you say in understanding.

“That’s right kiddo,” he smiles. “Ahuizotl can be overdramatic, but back in the day, running around with him was comforting. It took me back to the days of my adventures with the Doctor and your Great Grandmother.”

Your eyes widen at that, “My Great Grandmother? She traveled with you and the Doctor?” He gives you a confused look.

“Wait, your Dad ain’t told you yet?”

“Told me what?” you ask noticing the look in his eyes.

“Oooh boy,” he rubs the back of his neck. “Listen, remind me to tell you that tale after we’re all done visiting here OK?”

“I-“ you start before you are interrupted.

“I’m finished!” Ahuizotl exclaims as he snaps his fingers and a guard runs up. “Bring me a fresh rope.” The stallion nods and runs off while Grandbuggy rolls his eyes.

“Always with the bondage,” he mutters as his friend walks up to you two.

“I got some good shots this time. I even have enough to mail to several museums, hee hee. Her coat looks so good in the light too. Now all we need is to get some tight rope to really accentuate her body and…”

“That’s great,” you interrupt, “But what are you going to do to her now?”

“Oh, well I’m going to tie her up and throw her in a cell of course. She did just try to steal from me I’m assuming…by the way where exactly did you find her?”

“Down the garbage chute by the cats,” you answer truthfully.

“Wow, truly?” he asks in amazement as you nod.

8BitMadness’s Comment

"Dios, how did you manage to drag her all the way over here without exhausting yourself? I know that Alicorns are stronger than a stubborn burro, but she’s a full grown mare!"

You say nothing and just smirk as you immediately take your inventory off and pull out Mangle, your Kendo Stick, Daring Do’s Pith Helmet, and several other things before putting them all back inside.

"That's how,” you say plainly. Ahuizotl looks at you with a slack jaw for several more moments before he places a paw/hand/whatever to his head and shakes it.

“Amazing…”

"Did I break him?" you ask Grandbuggy with a trollish grin.

“Just a little kid,” he chuckles. As he does, the guards return with the requested rope.

“Ah, excellent. Now we’ll bind her and keep her somewhere safe until I can get a trap room ready for her.”

“What, you don’t just have one ready?” Grandbuggy asks curiously.

“Oh, we do…but it hasn’t been reset after the test run. It’s very hard to replace sand back into a filling room trap,” he explains.

“OK, but I thought you weren’t going to hurt her,” you point out.

“I’m not going to hurt her, I’m just going to leave her in a situation where she has to struggle to get free using what is available to her in the given situation while I watch.”

“…Why? What’s the point of that if you know she’s going to escape?”

“Truthfully? I like to watch her work. Tis fascinating,” he admits.

“And entirely creepy ya dang voyeur,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes.

“I…Ugh, grownups are so weird,” you mutter not quite understanding the situation.

You three then proceed to carry the unconscious mare into a caged cell, where Ahuizotl flops her on the floor mattress, and she begins to stir.

“Oooohhhh…what hit me?” the adventurer moans as her eyes blink blearily.

The three of you look to each other in nervous silence before looking back at the trussed up pegasus.

“Huh? Why am I tied up? What’s going...?” her eyes blink and she spots her arch nemesis beside you and Grandbuggy. “Ahuizotl!” she snarls. He clears his throat before sporting a sneer as he gloats,

“Oh Hai Daring Do, so good of you to drop in on me in my Summer Home, even if you weren’t invited.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t see your name on it. Not like you left me a key to get into the place,” she snarks as she struggles in her bonds.

“Oh Daring Daring Daring, we’ve done this dance multiple times, you can’t escape my knots so easily.”

“Oh I know your knots alright you perv,” she chides. “I’ll get out sooner or later and…What? What are you snickering at?” she snaps as you and Grandbuggy struggle to hold in laughter.

“N-Nothing. Nothing at all,” Grandbuggy snickers.

“Yup. Totally nothing happening right meow,” you joke, which causes the both of you to laugh out loud.

Daring is confused at first at the random Changeling and Filly laughing, before her eyes widen and she glares at Ahuizotl.

“Did you draw on my face again?!!!” she snarls.

“What? No…” Ahuizotl unconvincingly lies with his own smirk, and all three of you burst out laughing.

“Ugh,” the pegasus groans. “What is it this time? More glasses and moustaches?”

“Nope. You look like you’re trying to join Josie and the Pussycats though,” you giggle. She casts her gaze upon you and squints at you inquisitively.

“And who exactly are you?”

“I’m the one who knocked you out,” you giggle before stopping and your eyes widen.

“What?” she exclaims.

“Um…accidentally?” you try to save face.

“You should feel honored, it takes effort for her to do anything accidentally,” Grandbuggy chuckles. Daring Do looks from him, and back to you before looking back at Ahuizotl.

“Who are these two Ahuizotl? More minions?”

“Heh, no dear Daring, they are mi amigos. Guests in my house, unlike sneaky you,” he scolds. She glances back over you two with a raised eyebrow.

“Guests huh?”

“Eyup. We’re not actually villains or anything,” you say trying to smooth things over. “In fact, I’m kind of, well…I’m a huge fan of yours.”

She raises another brow at that.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

PrinceDuskRiser’s Comment

"Yeah…so Ms. Daring Do, I know it’s kind of an awkward situation and all…but I was wondering if I could have your autograph?" You ask the tied-up pegasus with a nervous grin.

Daring stares at you for a few seconds, "You knock me out, then you hand me over to my greatest rival, and now you want me to give you, my autograph?"
You shuffle your hooves in embarrassment,

"Well, I am REALLY sorry about knocking you out. Really it was Mangle’s fault for getting all jealous… and I was trying to get you help," you explain. Daring stares at you.

"...suuuuure..." She answers. She doesn't know what to feel about you. On the one hoof, you knocked her out, but on the other... you're just a kid, asking for an autograph.

"Thank you!" You exclaim in excitement. “You have no idea how awesome this is…well, despite the knocked out and tied up part,” you chuckle nervously.

"...Eh," She shrugs, "I've had worst Mondays before."

You then put your saddlebags on the ground, open them up and climb inside to go grab your copy of "Daring Do and the Saphire Idol". When you get out, she's staring in shock at how you managed to fit inside your bags. You pull out a pen and stick it gently in her mouth and open the book for her to sign. Daring scribbles out her signature for you carefully, but quickly.

“Thank you so much. To tell you the truth, I don’t read much, but the movies really got me wanting to read the books,” you admit.

She rolls her eyes at that, “Ugh, that actress looks nothing like me.”

“You’re right, she’s got a better flank on her,” Grandbuggy trolls causing Daring Do to look up at him in shock and anger.

“Hey!” she growls.

“What? I calls it like I sees it,” he chuckles and you facehoof.

“Grandbuggy…just…Ugh,” you shake your head in embarrassment.

“Yes…well they are my guests, and no I will not tell you there names Daring Do,” Ahuizotl states.

“Oh I already know who they are,” she states.

“You do?” you ask in surprise.

Kichi’s Comment

“Yes, you’re obviously The Hooded Offender and Nightmare Moon resurrected,” she exclaims.

You and Grandbuggy look at each other and back at her.

“Say what now?” asks Grandbuggy.

“It’s obvious really. A criminal changeling, who we’ve all learned is the new host of Nightmare Moon, has been running around for nearly three years. You’re obviously scum if you’re hanging around with Ahuizotl, and there’s an Alicorn Filly that looks like the chibi version of the Boogey Mare.”

“Hey! I’m not the boogey mare, and that title is slanderous!” you shout.

“Let me guess, you tried some ritual to give you a body, but you ended up as a child again?" she interrogates.

“I’m not Nightmare Moon!” you insist.

“Oh really?” she says unbelievingly before looking to Grandbuggy. “What about you Hooded Offender, are you still under her control?” Granbuggy just stares at her for a few heart beats before he breaks out laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?” she asks.

“Amazing. Every word of what you just said is wrong,” he chuckles. “I’m way too old to be the Offender. I mean seriously, why was that your first assumption?”

"I’m not assuming, I’m deducing. It’s second nature with my career, and after everything I’ve been through in my life, the outlandish doesn’t surprise me," she answers.

“Hmmph. Well your deductions missed the mark a bit lady. I ain’t the Offender, that’s my Grandson.”

"Grandson?!” she says surprised. “So, I guessed correctly then? This is Nightmare Moon reborn?"

“No! Quit suggesting that!” you groan.

"Yeah, this little bundle of joy you’re looking at is her daughter," Grandbuggy clarifies.

“Her…Daughter?” Daring asks extremely flabbergasted.

"Grandbuggy!" you shout in surprise. “Don’t go telling others things like that!”

"What? She already suspected something, and it’s better to clarify things before more rumors of your Dad circulate. Besides, she’s technically a fictional character, so who’s gonna believe her?”

“Her infuriating writer for one thing, always exaggerating things,” Ahuizotl harrumphs.

“Still…” you trail off thinking about how secretive you and your family have been for the last three and a half years.

“It’s a better situation kid. I’d rather stupid assumptions like you being your Ma reborn were put to rest so them Do Gooder Mares don’t try to blast you with their rainbow of death.”

“Oh…good point,” you nod at his wisdom.

“Now, I have a serious question for you," Grandbuggy turns back to the still shocked Daring and looks her in the eye. "How did you get past the curse in the Temple of Bastet in the Fourth book?"

"Wait, What?" asks Daring in surprise over the change in conversation.

"The book didn’t explain, and I know for a fact Bastet liked cursing his stuff" She stares inquisitively at that statement before she thinks back.

“I, uh, was wearing the Amulet of Apophis.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Grandbuggy nods. “Weirdo did love his snakes.”

Not understanding how that logic works, your own Plot Hole seeking mind fires up.

“OK, but here’s a question. What happened to Roundabout, your Neighsan colt sidekick between books two and three?”

She looks away in embarrassment at that, “We don’t talk about Roundabout little filly.”

“Oh Come On! What happened? You can’t just introduce a character and then not explain what happened to them when they disappear!”

8BitMadness’s Comment

While you bother Daring Do with questions about plot holes and lack of details in the books about her, Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl converse behind you.

“Your Grandson is the Hooded Offender? Dios…I’d heard the tales even this far south of the Changeling possessed by the Mare in the Moon.”

“Many of those tales are flat out wrong, but the power he possesses is no exaggeration,” Grandbuggy explains.

“But what about that Stallion that helped you from the Quicksand in the 6^th book?” you ask the frustrated mare.

“Quit trying to ship me with random background characters!”

"So she's Nightmare Moon's daughter?" Ahuizotl asks. "That seems a bit far-fetched to me."

"It's completely true though. Also she goes by the name Selena now." Grandbuggy responds. "Turns out my grandson won the jackpot in terms of partners. She's smart enough to keep him from doing his usual stupid antics. Lemme tell you what, he got my insanity, but he didn't get my intelligence."

"Truly? He courted a godess and had a child? But wouldn't the princesses of Equestria have caught on if she was resurrected in a new body?" Ahuizotl asks.

"...Truth be told, that's what this here mission is for," Grandbuggy answers after a delay. "Her spirit currently inhabits the body of my boy. He’s working on his end to accomplish that, and me and the kiddo are doing what we can to help.”

"Wait a minute, then how was your Great Granddaughter made then?!" Ahuizotl asks in confusion.

"Dunno, magic apparently."

“That sounds highly improbable,” he insists.

“Yeah it does sound that way. But it’s true,” Grandbuggy shrugs.

“Alright, but what about that time you thought about how hard it would be to write what you saw. You’re not a writer, that’s A.K. Yearling,” you grill.

“I, uh…I meant about how I would tell A.K. about seeing the beast that should not be…It’s complicated “Daughter of Nightmare Moon.””

“You don’t have to call me that you know?” you say, putting your hooves on your hips disapprovingly. “Just call me…Shadow. Evening Shadow.”

“Alright…’Shadow’ will you stop nitpicking? I have things to do.”

“Like what?” you ask.

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

“Like recovering the destructive Borealis Orb of Duchess Aurora herself. It’s said to hypnotize the masses with enchanting light, before causing massive conflagrations, and you’re friend Ahuizotl here has it.” Grandbuggy snorts at that.

“Aurora’s Borealis? At this point in time, at this time of season, in this vast jungle, located entirely within this Ancient Temple?”

“Yes!” Daring answers. “And I’m not going to let you people use it to cause untold destruction for your Dark Goddess and-“

“Yeah, I’m just gonna stop you right there. That little trinket isn’t that big of a deal D.D. The legends about it are false. All it does is get you extremely high. Those massive, glorious fires were caused by intoxicated numbskulls kicking over a lantern.” She seems extremely shocked at this, but no more so than Ahuizotl.

“Wait, really? Mierda! I paid 50 Grand for that stupid orb!”

“And who sold you that?” Grandbuggy asks.

“…Cabelleron,” he reluctantly answers.

“Well that’s your own gorramned fault then,” Grandbuggy chides.

While they argue over their choices in allies, your eyes kind of sparkle.

“So wait a minute, you were sneaking in to get an artifact?”

“Yeah…I was until your Grandpa or whatever just explained what it really was. How does he even know?” she asks you.

“Time Travel I think,” you say nonchalantly.

“What?” she gasps, but you ignore her and continue on.

“But still, that’s so cool. We’re kind of getting our artifacts easily, but it sounds fun doing the whole adventurer thing to get them.”

“I…” a conspiratorial smirk suddenly adorns her face. “Say Shadow, if you untie me, I’ll take you with me to get the orb. Even if it’s just ancient LSD, it belongs in a museum.”

“Hmmm…” you ponder as you look back to Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl and back to the pegasus. “Eh, sounds like fun. Just so long as you don’t take the Ring of Scorchero that we need.”

Her eyes widen at that. “He’s gathering the Rings of Scorchero?! Sweet Celestia, that will bring extreme heat waves to the Jungle.”

“Yeah, whatever, that’s not my problem. You deal with that in your next book, we kind of need one,” you explain.

“I…Alright fine. Let me out and we’ll go get the Borealis Orb “only” OK?”

“Sure. Why the buck not?” you shrug and walk towards her.

“Whoa, wait kid, watch your-“

“Don’t tell me to watch my bucking mouth! I don’t take that guff from anyl-EYAH!!!” you squeal as suddenly a net falls on top of you.

“…I was going to say watch your step, there’s a trap there,” Daring finishes.

“AH! Get it off, get it off!” you flail as the net trips you. Grandbuggy looks over at the situation and laughs.

“Now what’d you go and get yourself caught up for?” he guffaws.

“I was trying to have an adventure!” you whine as you try to fling the accursed net off of you.

“Ah, so Daring Do, you seek to corrupt the young to do your bidding? For shame,” Ahuizotl shakes his head as he helps take the net off of you.

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

“Oh you’re one to talk. Working with the Hooded Offender’s family! You’ll never get away with this Ahuizotl! I’ll stop you, just as I always have!” Daring says with a smirk.

“That’s where your wrong miss Do! I have the advantage here! Your wings are bound, rendering you unable to fly! And what’s more you have no equipment, no allies, and no way ou- would you quit laughing Fix!” Ahuizotl yells, as Grandbuggy is just over in the corner laughing his flank off. Pounding his front hoof away at the ancient floor.

“I’m sorry zotl it’s just too much! Haha!” Grandbuggy wheezes. “You’re acting is like a Hammy Villain right out of a cheesy foals book!” He says calming down.

“Isn’t he technically one already?” You say with a giggle at how silly this all was. Your, Grandbuggy stumbles as he laughs again, not noticing the pressure plate he stepped on.

“Quick no! The trap!” Ahuizotl says in alarm. As the floor beneath all of you gives way to a deep dark pit. Your grandbuggy stops laughing as he realizes what he’s done,

“Oh buuuuucccccckkkkkk!!!!!!” He shouts as you, Grandbuggy, Darring, and Ahuizotl fall down the pit. Moments later the floor seals back up just as two guards come in with snacks, “Hey boss we just spotted Caballeron and his guys heading this way. Also we may be out of food for next few weeks… wait where’d he go?”

TartarusFire’s Comment

Thankfully, you’ve all landed on the mattress that was in Daring Do’s cell, though Ahuizotl did end up on the bottom of the dog pile. Groaning, you look around you, but there is only darkness.

Daring do laughs and rolls around on the floor. "Haha! Caught in your own trap. I didn't even have to try this time!" More chortles escaped Daring while Ahuizotl stares stupified in the nearly lightless pit.

“I…Well…this has literally never happened to me before.”

“Yeah, sorry about that folks. My bad,” Grandbuggy chuckles nervously.

“Now I know where Dad get is. Mangle, come on out and give us some light girl,” you say aloud. Mangle pops out of the inventory to sit next to you as light beams come out of her eyes, illuminating the room better.

“What in the world?” Daring asks in surprise.

“This is my pet Mangle. She’s the one who landed on your head,” you explain as you pet said fox.

“What is that thing? It was heavy enough to knock me out through my helmet…have you seen my helmet by the way?”

“Uhhh…Nooo?” you lie as your souvenir sits within your Inventory.

“Alright alright, so what’s the trick here Ahzui? Where’s the exit?” Grandbuggy asks.

“Well, the trap door above should still be openable,” he answers.

"Gorramit, what do we do now Granbuggy?" you ask as you stare at the ceiling far above you.

"Still thinking like your pops huh?" Granbuggy snarks. "We can fly remember?"

The sound of your hoof to face contact in the rather echo-y trap pit makes the two other 'guests' cringe. "Gor.Ram.It. I can't believe I forgot about that already!" You throw your hooves into the air. "But what about Ahuizotl and Daring?”

“Untie me and I can fly too,” she orders.

“Yeah, no, the last time I tried that I had a net fall on me,” you point out.

“I tried to warn you!”

“Still…also, Cat Guy here can’t fly. Should we put them in the inventory?"

"Nah. We'll get the pit open and they can climb out. No free rides from us two."

A bit confused but nonchalant, you and Granbuggy fly up to the crack in the floor, only to hear crying.

"I- We can’t be friends anymore! You've done this to me too many times!"

"But I brought extra snacks this time..."

“What the buck?” you say in confusion.

"Every-" An extremely emotional breath echoes down "- time. Every time I get to one, you call me out for it! It's sickening!"

"Look, it's not my fault you always forget to call uno right after you put the card down--"

Grandbuggy, with an annoyed look on his face calls out, "Hey boys, you can get back to your emotional problems after you open this pit up; we've got your boss here."

"Whoa, it's that guy from before."

“Yes, and if you don’t listen to him, he and I will kick your flanks you idjits!” you shout.

After hearing a resounding “EEP!” you hear one of the two guards fumble about for something. "Okay, so how do we open this thing up? I don't know about you but I'm not strong enough to move a thousand pound slab of stone." Grandbuggy looks back down into the Mangle Illuminated chamber.

“You don’t teach them how to operate the traps?” he chides Ahuizotl.

“They’re primitive buffoons. Would you trust them?” he shoots back.

"Good point,” Grandbuggy nods before calling back through the floor. “Okay, so there's a plate on the back left wall there, that if you step on it, it will open this floor." Some hoof steps retreat away from the crack. "Yeah just press it then leap backwards before-"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH" The guards scream as the door opens and they fall down, hitting Grandbuggy as they fall to the bottom

"BUCK!" Granbuggy yell as the three of them fall and land on Ahuizotl.

“OOF! Why me?” he groans while Daring Do laughs. The floor then beings rumbling shut, and you make a snap decision and fly through it. From below, you hear Grandbuggy growling in frustration.

"You two idjits better hide before I rip your--"

"Heyyy Granbuggy!" You yell into the crack. "I'm up here, I can press the switch, and I won’t wall in like those goofs.”

"Oh, Good job kid. Looks like you've managed to survive by pure luck. Atta girl! Just step on it and open it." “OK,” you call down and walk over the pressure plate that started this whole mess. A few moments pass in relative silence, but nothing happens.

"What's taking so long?" Grandbuggy asks.

"I, uh…I don’t think I’m heavy enough..." you admit as you bounce up and down on the plate.

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

You jerk back at a sudden *smack* noise you hear come from the pit.

"Alright hang on sweetie we need you to go and find something heavy to put on the plate." You hear Grandbuggy shout. But before you can respond you hear a shout coming from outside.

"AHUIZOTL!!! It’s me, Dr. Cabelleron. I’ve arrived with the cargo! Where are you?” As his gruff voice echoes throughout the temple you groan in frustration.

“Great, just great. Another bucking fictional villain to deal with!” You then run back to the crack and look through it.

“Guys, I’m assuming you heard that?”

“Yeah I heard it alright,” Grandbuggy spits in anger. “How could I not?”

"Dios Mio NO! Caballeron is early?!" Ahuizotl cried out in annoyance. “My schedule didn’t plan for three unexpected visits! My daily planner will now be out of synch!”

"Oh right that's why we were looking for you sir. He's early,” responds guard one.

"Yeah. And again, we’re sorry about the trap boss," apologizes the other guard.

"Bob! Steve! You idiotas!" Ahuizotl yells.

"Actually my name is Strawberry Sunshine,” says "Steve"

"And you wonder why I call you Steve..." he sighs as he massages his head.

"Wait Caballeron is here too?! What's your game Ahuizotl?" Daring interogates despite still being tied up and on the floor.

"Daring can we call a timeout on this? At least till we get out of this mess?" Ahuizotl asks, grabbing her and bringing her to his eye level.

"Fine, but don't think this is over you fiend," she says with a glare, which is somewhat less impactful with the cat whiskers on her face.

“Oh it will never be over my Dear Daring Do, for I will never let you or your infringing stories ruin my plans,” he promises.

“As long as you have so called plans, I will never rest until-“ she starts before Grandbuggy just shouts.

"BY THE GODS, JUST BUCK ALREADY!!"

“What?!” they both say taken aback.

“This sexual tension is so thick you could cut with a knife,” he says in frustration while the two guards snicker. “If you’re not going to do that, then just quit squabbling so we can figure a way out of this mess.”

"I! But she/he! We would never!" the adventurer and the villain stammer with blushing faces. Before things can get any more awkward though, “Bob” speaks up,

"Hey I think there's a hidden passage back here!"

“Wait really?” Grandbuggy asks as he picks up Mangle and points her eyelights in his direction. Sure enough, there appears to be a hidden door.

“How come you didn’t say anything before?” he asks the still blushing Ahuizotl.

“I don’t know what’s at the bottom of every one of my traps. This temple is huge,” he answers as he runs over his minion and into the passage, forgetting that he still had Daring in his tail paw thing.

"Oi! Wait for us!" Grandbuggy shouts before turning his head to the ceiling and shouting to you,

"Kiddo, we found a way out! We'll meet you up there. Don't do anything your father would do OK?"

“Al-alright. Mangle! Watch over everyone in the dark alright?” You receive a mechanical bark in reply.

“Boy this thing is creepy,” Grandbuggy says nervously as he points the fox forward and walks through the hidden passage way following the two love birds with Tweedledee and Tweedledum following behind him. As the light fades, you pull your face away from the crack and frown.

“Oh sure. THEY get to go into secret hidden tunnels and I gotta wait up here. This is such Bullspit,” you huff and cross your forelegs. You’re pouting is interrupted as you hear the accented voice call out again.

"Hello? Ahuizotl?! Where are you?! This isn't how you do good business friend. You’re supposed to greet your guests!”

“And then there’s this flankhole,” you groan.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Notes:

Let the Hijinks Ensue.

Hey Hive Mind,
I'd like to apologize for the nearly month delay which I gave no info on. You see, my Dog died awhile back, and I just didn't have any drive to write, and I buried myself with work to cope. I'm back now, feeling the spark again, and I am feeling better. Again I'm sorry for the delay.

Anyway, same rules as usual. Remember this is months before Daring Don't, and no killing.

Now! Time for Voting.

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE STRAW POLL (Poll Closed) to vote for what Nightshade and Grandbuggy's Opening Theme Shall be. Get those votes in Hive Mind.

This is Brown Dog, and I'll see you on the Battlefield.

Episode 9: Caballeron is a Terrible House Guest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTbB703XZFM

“Ahuizotl?! Heeellllooo?!” Cabelleron’s voice echoes through the halls while you sit on the pressure plate in a huff.

“What am I supposed to do about this guy? I know Grandbuggy hates him and all, but what am I supposed to think? I thought Ahuizotl was some big villain, but he’s actually kind of a dork,” you think aloud.

“I’ve found your dining room! There’s food on the table, is this for me?!” the villain calls out.

“Can I even take anything at face value anymore?” you ponder. “Like Daring Do for example…”

“I’m just going to help myself since you’re not answering!” he calls, but you’re still in introspection mode.

TartarusFire’s Comment

“I mean, here’s Daring Do, hero extraordinare, and the only reason I really started reading, and she’s real. Not only that, she’s really just kind of ordinary and kind of manipulative.”

“This is fine dining I must say Ahuizotl! But a guest shouldn’t eat on his own!”

“She tried to trick me into freeing her and I had a net fall on me. A net! If that had been a tiny net, I would have been done for,” you shiver in dread.

“Oh wow, are these homemade tortillas?”

“And really, if Ahuizotl’s personality is changed in the books, what else is changed? Is she really all that heroic, or is that what she just tells A.K. Yearling?” you worry. Really, you have a limited scope of ponies/beings that you look up to, and you thought a fictional Tomb Raider was one of them, but today has shaken up your view and-

“Ahuizotl, if you tire of this game, I could use some more salsa and chips!” the annoying “doctor” complains.

“Oh Will You Just Shut The Buck Up Already!” you yell out, your voice echoing.

“Huh? Who was that? And why are you so rude?”

“I’m trying to think deep thoughts here, and you’re not helping you Dingbat!”

There is a pause for a few heartbeats, before the stallion speaks up again.

“Ahuizotl, why is your home insulting me? I don’t find this joke funny!”

“Oh That Does It!” you growl as you stand up from the pressure plate and walk out the door.

Master of Shadow’s Comment

“Whether this guy is evil or not, he’s annoying. If Grandbuggy hates him, then I’ll lean that way for now. Besides, maybe he’s got some cool stuff on him,” you reason. “If Grandbuggy and the others get a cool hidden passage experience, then I need a pickpocketing one.”

And with that, you make your way towards the dining room to try and steal whatever Caballeron is delivering to Ahuizotl.

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

"Ahuizotl WAIT!" You cry. You've been chasing Ahuizotl for 15 gorram minutes with the two stooges trailing behind, barely keeping up.

"Don't worry amigo I know exactly where we're going!" You hear him shout from ahead. You sigh and sit for a few minutes.

“This is getting us nowhere. Who knows what that Filly is going to get up to by herself,” you say in worry.

“SKREONK,” Mangle agrees.

“Well said you creepy bucking thing you,” you say patting it’s head.

You then hear the sound of footsteps, so you casually stick your leg out as Ahuziotl comes running past you.

“AHHH!!!” he shouts as he hits your leg, causing him to do a twirl, somersault, and a barrel roll in mid air before he then flops face first into the cold stone floor.

"OWWW!!" He moans and tries to get up, just as Bob and Steve come charging forward knocking him back onto the ground in a pile up.
*CRASH*

"Ooohhh that had to hurt," You mutter, as the dust clears.

"I think I broke something.," Ahuizotl groans from under the pile.

"You mean other than your pride?" Daring moans dizzily still in his tail paw. Ahuizotl pushes off his minions and looks at you annoyed.

"Amigo why did you do that?! I was almost out of here! And how did you get ahead of me?" he growls, getting in your face with anger.

"Because Zotl, you've been running in circles!" You say in a huff. "We've passed that same statue five times now." You say pointing toward a statue of a monkey. "Which I'm pretty sure is laughing at us."

TartarusFire’s Comment

As if on cue for pointing it out, the statue starts to audibly laugh and shake off dust. The laughter chills the room.

"There is no way out, for I hide the exit. If you answer my riddle, you may leave." It hacks a fog of dust out in a cough. "Sorry about that, I've been here awhile." You cover your muzzle from the light fog of dust.

"Oh great, now what? You never told us about this," you grunt at Ahuizotl.

"Do not blame me friend, I've never actually been through here before, but I've seen this on a map."

"You're worse at this than I thought. Heh. A real archaeologist would have gone through their own site as soon as they had access," Daring mocks.

“I’ve been busy planning OK?!” he defends. “You think it’s easy raising the temperature of an entire jungle? The Rings of Scorchero are spread out all over several countries.”

“So you ARE planning on gathering them! I knew it!” Daring says in triumph.

“Well not for awhile at least, I have to give them to-“

“S-Someone who is not here!” you interrupt so he doesn’t reveal too much. “So let’s just stop talking about that and focus on this evil totem pole.

“I’m a sculpture thank you very much,” the statue says in annoyance, before beginning it’s riddle.

"What goes up and down, while also going around and around, and stopping within bounds? Each one of you will get one guess."

“Ugh, I hate riddles,” you groan. “Who built you? Zebras? They really like their rhyming.”

"Eh, it could be more vague,” says one of the tribal stallions. A hoof slapping the back of his head bounces around the chamber.

“Alright, let’s all start forming some guesses before we actually answer. I want to get to my Great Granddaughter before something stupid happens.”

“I hope Grandbuggy gets back here before something stupid happens with him,” you mutter as you find the eating area. When you enter said dining room, you find the infamous Dr. Caballeron, and he looks just like the pictures in the books. He’s got a five o’clock shadow, his rugged adventurer’s shirt, and the golden skull cutie mark shines. Currently, he is in the same huffy position you were in not long ago, with his arms crossed and pursed lips.

But where’s the delivery? You wonder. I can’t exactly pickpocket the guy if he’s empty hooved.
The stallion, sits in front of his impromptu meal and lets out an exasperated sigh.

Kichi’s Comment

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

"Great, how I hate to wait alone" he groans.

"I'm here, you know?" you speak up from the doorway trying to get his attention.

"Oh, great, the voice again,” he huffs not looking your way at all. “Ahuizotl! You should have told me that this temple had ghosts! That will definitely drive my prices up!”

You tilt your head at that leap in logic.

“Um, I’m not a ghost. I’m alive…and I’m right here,” you say, fluttering your wings trying to get his attention, but he still doesn’t look at you.

“Suuure you are,” he taunts, looking up at the ceiling. Frustrated by his stubbornness, you fly onto the table, directly in front of him.

“I’m not a ghost! I’m right in front of you!” you insist clopping your hooves together in front of his face.

“Ha! As if I’d fall for that one. Leave me be spirit, you’ll just give me indigestion,” he says stubbornly, still looking at the ceiling.

“I-How-Wha-It-Huh?!” you stammer in exasperation at the idiot in front of you.

OK, OK, Calm down Nightshade. Sure this guy is a villain and an idiot, but you’re not a bully anymore. Think rationally. Now, What would Daddy do?

This thought proceeds to create multiple thought bubbles around your head...and most of which are your father punching, kicking, blasting, or all of the above, the stallion while fire rages in the background.

…Daddy really does use violence a lot to solve our problems huh? You sigh. But Grandbuggy said not to do what Daddy would, so that narrows things down a lot.

You then spot a gong over in the corner and smirk. You throw one of the table candelabras at the gong, creating a deafening crash as you use your transformative powers to bring out your changeling features and hover right in front of him.

“You will notice me, or you will face the full brunt of my wrath!!!” you command in a domineering voice. For good measure, you blast Magic Missile into the air, which bursts with a blue hue.

There. That flashy introduction should get his attention, you think as you look down at him, and see him cleaning dirt out of his hooves, ignoring you.

"Oh Come On!!!" you shout in frustration at his denseness.

“That tears it! I’m not doing what Daddy would do, I’m doing what I would do! Falcon Uppercut!" you shout as you hit him under the jaw, which throws him backward into the gong.

“Youch!” Caballeron cries, holding his sore jaw as he wobbily gets up from the gong. “What hit me?!”

"Me You Idiot! I'm right here!" After that shout, he finally, FINALLY looks to you.

"Wait! Nightmare Moon!? Amazing. Has that bumbling Ahuizotl sealed your spirit within this temple as a guardian?” he asks seeming impressed.

"What? No! I’m not Nightmare Moon! Why does everyone keep thinking that?!” you whine.

"Well, you’re a black alicorn filly in a creepy temple, I just put 2 and 2 together..." he explains causing you to groan.

"You can call me Evening Shadow, and no, I'm not Nightmare Moon, and I’m sure as Tartarus not a ghost.”

Kersey475’s Comment

“Hmmph. There’s no way you can prove that. Most spirits want you to believe they’re real until you’ve been lead to your doom,” he counters.

“Wha-I just uppercutted you in the face dude!” you point out.

“That doesn’t prove anything. I didn’t even see that happen, so I don’t know what I saw or felt,” he insists, crossing his forelegs.

This Bucking Guy! You think in frustration, before gritting your teeth and shouting,

“Well watch this then you dumbass! Falcon Kick!”

You kick the villain right in the nards, but surprisingly he doesn’t go down, only grunting in mild pain.

“What the buck?” you say in confusion. “That move usually turns guys into mares for a short time. Are you related to Bulk Biceps?”

“I don’t know who that is, but the answer is simple. I wear a cup,” he gasps as she stands back up. “I always wear one after the 7^th time that accursed Daring Do nutshotted me.” This causes you to snort.

“So it took you THAT long to take the hint?” you giggle.

“Yes…but it appears I will take this hint much sooner. You are indeed flesh and blood Ms. Evening Shadow. But the question remains, Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I, ummm…I’ve got business with Ahuizotl,” you declare.

“Ah, don’t we all,” he hoof waves. “Where is that giant cat abomination anyway?”

“He kind of fell down a hole and I’m waiting for him to come back out,” you admit.

“Of course he did,” Caballeron rolls his eyes. “Well he better hurry up, I have other potential buyers for my delivery.”

“What are you delivering anyway?” you ask.

“As if I would tell you. That’s between me and the buyer,” he says.

“I don’t even see anything on you,” you point out.

“You think I’d be so mad as to carry it on my person alone? I left it with my henchmen outside.”

“Oh. Aren’t you gonna invite them in for food?”

“Nah. If Ahuizotl can get trapped in his own house, the last thing I’m doing is bringing those muscle heads in.”

“Oh. Well…I guess we’ll just wait until he gets back here then,” you say.

“That sounds like the most logical plan, even if it will cost him extra,” Caballeron nods. After he says that, an awkward silence falls between the two of you since neither of you really know what to say to the other.

Kichi’s Comment

“Sooo…Little filly? Do you have any bits on you?” he asks.

“I’ve got an allowance,” you admit raising an eyebrow in suspicion. He then smiles mischievously.

"Well then, how would you like to increase the amount you have?”

“I do like the sound of more money,” you nod, “What’re you thinking?”

“We have time apparently, and I have a deck of cards... Want to play a game of Poker?" he asks, dripping with swindler attitude.

Grandbuggy had warned you that this guy cheats at cards, and from the looks of things, he’s trying to cheat you out of your bits. But that doesn’t deter you. You give him your own mischievous smirk.

“You’re on buster.”

"No! It can't be!" shouts Caballeron as you slide more of his bits towards you.

"I win again,” you say innocently. “Boy this sure is a fun game Mister. So what is the tally now? 1500 Bits, and three artifacts you claim you have with you?”

"Gaaah! This doesn’t make sense! Double or nothing!" he shouts in anger at your smile.

"If you say so," you shrug as he starts to shuffle the deck again.

Baby doesn’t like it when his cheating doesn’t work does he? You think jovially. Thank you Sombra for the tips.

Back in Appleloosa one night, you were visiting with Sombra, who had become more open ever since the Invasion battle, and he told you he was going to teach you a few things.

"Today, I'm going to show you how to cheat and counter-cheat and over-cheat.” He declares.

“Cheat? Like in what way?” you ask.

“Games of chance mostly. If you know what you’re doing, the chance part will always fall in your favor.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because, your father is an idiot and does not understand the essence of subterfuge and bluffing. There are many ways to defeat an enemy with cheating, whether it’s in cards, or in a fight. You think I accumulated my Empire by being honest?”

“Oh…You want me to do things the ninja way?”

“…Sure, let’s go with that,” he nods. “With a good eye for detail, and the right skill of magic, the odds will always be in your favor. Though you should never try to cheat a dragon, they have a sense for it.”

“That’s OK. I only really know one dragon and I’d never cheat on Spike.” Sombra raises an eyebrow at that and your eyes widen at how that sounded.

“Mhmmm,” Sombra says with a smirk.

“SHUT UP!”

“But yeah, I would never hurt Spike in any form,” you mumble.

“You say something Filly?” the frustrated Caballeron asks looking up from his cards.

"Nope! Are you ready to continue playing?" you challenge.

TartarusFire’s Comment

After an hour with each member of the group guessing a different opinion and after a short snack break, they were ready.

"Now remember all of you, stick with the planned guesses, we don’t want to be stuck down here forever." You point a hoof at one of the guards, "What was your guess again? I've no clue as you were just madly giggling the entire time."

"Oh I was just laughing about how it could be us, what with going in circles for so long." A large rumbling sounds behind you all, revealing a stone staircase.

"Are. You- For Buck’s Sake!" You smack a wall in frustration. "We spend two hours piddling around with ideas, and THAT'S the bloody answer? I say we break the statue… and Steve for good measure."

"I second that,” Daring Do adds in her two bits.

"Daring, since when were you an advocate for beating up innocent- Oh yeah I'm employing him." Ahuizotl facepalms. "I'll be honest with you Steve-"

"But my name's Strawberry Sunshine," he whines.

"Steve,” you interrupt, “I kind of want to do the same. But the fact of the matter is, you got us all out of this mess," Nods of reluctant acknowledgement go around. "So I say, just this once, he's let off the hook."

"Phew I thought I was about to get pummeled or something."

"That being said," Ahuizotl's voice becomes saccharine, "Docked pay for three days, you trapped us in here the second time."

As you lead the way up the passageway up, you exit out into the cat room.

“Meow?” asks the little kitten from atop the cage, which causes Mangle to let out an earsplitting scream.

“Mangle?” you hear your Great Granddaughter call out down the hallway, followed by footsteps.

“Fluffykins, don’t go scaring our guests,” Ahuizotl orders as he comes through with Daring.

“Yeah Fox Bot, you lost a fight, quit being a pansy,” you order.

Mangle looks at you with a sneer, before smirking as…

Kersey457’s Comment

She takes one Steve’s fanciful feathered shoulder pads and throws it onto Fluffykins’ head. You and the rest are confused at this, until Nightshade rounds the corner.

“Grandbuggy, Mangle, you’re all back. I just won like 5,000 bits and- *GAAASSSPP*”

“Meow?” the kitty asks in fear seeing Nightshade’s expression. She then lets out another high pitched squee and rushes the cat, squeezing the daylights out of it. You look at the Fox and see it laughing evily.

“You cheeky little devil,” you say in admiration.

Unfortunately, Nightshade isn’t the only one that likes Cats too much.

“OH MY GOODNESS! SO CUTE!” Ahuizotl squees as he flails around, and the bound Daring Do’s head collides with yours.

“Ooooohhhhh…” you groan as you rub your head, and Daring Do’s eyes whirl, while she’s still grappled.

“Ah Ahuizotl, is that your voice I hear? About time! The price has gone up! I’m low on funds at the moment!” Comes a very irritating voice.

“Oh Great, Dr. Caballeron is coming,” Daring Do groans.

8BitMadness’s Comment

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

Hearing that name, your dizzy mind mixes with anger as three mini Caballeron’s dance around your head singing a catchy tune.

And as the flankhole himself steps around the corner, he seems very, very confused.

“What in the world?” he says in that voice of his that just makes you clench your teeth in anger.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Notes:

Alright, now Caballeron is coming across some weird shenanigans. What happens next?

Hey Hive Mind,
Thanks again for the well wishes on my loss, I really appreciate it.

As you can see, the winning opening theme has been chosen. I really think it fits Nightshade well. But now that we have the Opening theme, it's time to get Nightshade and Grandbuggy's ending theme.

This Week's Question is: "What Do You Think The Ending Theme Should Be?"

Give me some suggestions Hive Mind. Here is my entry below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV_CwCTOOMI

See you on the Battlefield Hive Mind,
Brown Dog.

Episode 10: Where's My Money B!+$#?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTbB703XZFM

As you sneer at the jackass with the fake Doctorate, he looks to Ahuizotl in surprise.

“Ahuizotl, you’ve already captured Daring Do? I guess that explains why you were so busy…but still, I had to wait a long time with this horrible child.”

“Hey! Who you calling horrible?” Nightshade defends as she tosses the kitty behind her.

“You! You are. Pretending to be a ghost, then “somehow” beating my unbeatable card strategy,” he whines.

“Oh please, don’t be a sore loser ya numb nuts,” you interject, causing him to look at you with a raised eyebrow.

“And you are…?” he asks.

“Huh?” you say taken aback.

“I’m asking who you are to insult me so,” he continues, confusing you more.

“What do you mean? We met each other on several occasions. Quick Fix remember?” you explain.

He gives you a once over and purses his lips. “Sorry, doesn’t ring a bell Changeling.”

“I…I didn’t even disguise when I was hanging with this crowd! How do you not remember me?” you blather.

He ignores you and turns back to Ahuizotl, “Random rude changelings aside, I think I’m owed a bit extra Ahuizotl.”

“I…Wha…?” you bumble and Ahuizotle leans down to your ear.

“I think he suppressed his memory of you after you thrashed him so hard at cards amigo.”

“That’s not true! I’ve never lost at cards! Never!” Caballeron shrieks. “This little nameless brat is the only exception, but she shouldn’t count!”

“I’m not nameless! I told you my “name” earlier,” Nightshade speaks up.

“Uh-Huh, sure ya did.”

“…Are you already starting to repress yer memories of her?” you ask.

“Of who? I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he answers.

“Oh by the gods you’re petty,” you growl.

“Yeah! Quit Repressing me! That’s incredibly rude!” Nightshade yells.

“Whatever,” he ignores you both and looks to your old chum.

“Mi amigos, please, everyone calm down now and let’s talk things out,” Ahuizotl tries to keep the piece.

“I don’t think so! I’ve had enough of this stupidity!” comes the taunt of Daring Do herself as she wriggles free from Ahuizotl’s grip, a knife in her mouth, and lands opposite of Caballeron and Nightshade.

“What in the?” Ahuizolt looks at the cut rope in his tail hand. “Who gave her a knife?”

Everyone’s eyes immediately go to Steve who is nervously looking at the ground and scratching the back of his head.

“Dang It Steve! You’re fired!” Ahuizotl yells.

“Ohhh…” Steve slumps his shoulders. Looking back to the more pressing manner than an idiotic underling, you see that

Kichi’s Comment

Somehow the situation has developed into a three way duel. Caballeron is eyeing both Daring and Nightshade, Daring sizing up the other two to see who to go through to escape easier, and Nightshade who looks at both in utter confusion.

"Alright Caballeron, surrender whatever world conquering artifact you have or things get ugly,” she threatens.

“Ha! As if I would surrender to you Daring Do!” he answers thrusting his jaw forward. “This is the last time you disturb my business…by the way the price has gone up for Daring Do involvement,” he says to Ahuizotl, who sighs.

"You better not hand anything over to her! You owe me remember?!” Nightshade barks at the villain, causing him and Daring Do to glare at her.

“Stay out of this kid. This fiend is squirelly and-“

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Nightshade interrupts the adventurer. “I may be a fan and all, but this butt munch owes me, and I’m not gonna have you stealing what’s mine.”

“You say as you rob me blind of my possessions,” Caballeron counters.

“You lost fair and square dummy!”

As you watch this exchange, Ahuizotl stands next to you.

“Quite a determined little filly you have there,” he compliments.

“Eyup. You can’t teach that, that’s genetic.

“I bet you 10 bits that if this comes to blows though, that Daring will somehow come out on top and cause mass amounts of damage.”

“Heh,” you chuckle. “I’ll see you those 10 bits, and double it that the kid will come out on top and break everything.”

“Thanks Grandbuggy, I won’t let you down,” Nightshade calls out, and you two look over to see the other three looking at you.

“I’m glad to see that you don’t underestimate your enemies Ahuizotl, but I’m not destructive,” Daring adds.

“Sommambula’s Temple would say otherwise,” Caballeron interjects. “And how come no one voted for me? I could possibly win this, don’t you think there’s a chance worth betting on?”

"Yeaaah... Nope" Ahuizotl admits.

"Nu-uh." Nightshade agrees.

“Not a chance,” Daring adds.

“Why are you still here?!” you finish.

“Fine! If you’re all against me, then why don’t we all settle this dispute with a game…”

“Game?” Daring asks.

“We just played several games,” Nightshade harrumphs.

“It’s a different game!” he shouts.

8BitMadness’s Comment

"I have in my possession an artifact of great power that will help us to settle this dispute!"

"Yeah, but you owe me 6 of those," Nightshade deadpans.

"This just happens to be my seventh artifact, thank you very much!" Caballeron replies.

“Oh so you were holding out on me then?!” Nightshade accuses.

“No! I just…Here it is,” he stammers as he holds aloft a square wooden box.

"This is an enchanted board game that cannot be quit until it is over. If I win, I get my stuff back and Daring Do cannot stop me from leaving of my own free will. If you win, you get everything. An all or nothing bet. Sound good?" Caballeron asks.

Nightshade rolls her eyes, walks up to Caballeron, takes the game box out of his hooves and says,

“Get this Jumanji Bullspit out of here!” She then throws the game into the garbage chute while Caballeron looks like he was just smacked upside the head.

“That took me years to find!” he shouts.

“I don’t give a buck,” Nightshade growls. “Gimme my money and artifacts before she steals them you sleazeball!" To punctuate this threat, she pulls out the dark cannon and aims it at him.

Your eyes pop open at that.

Holy Tartarus Kiddo, You don’t buck around do you? Good thing though, that snake probably had loaded dice for that game. Caballeron starts sweating heavily with the weapon in his face and even Daring Do looks concerned.

“Uh…Maybe we should take this down a notch huh Shadow?” she tries to calm her down, even setting her knife on the ground.

“Stay out of this Do. You can have him after he pays up.”

"N-now, I'm s-sure we can work th-this out," Caballeron nervously stutters.

"You probably should just give the girl the money, ya dumbass" you pipe in. "You won't like her when she's angry."

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

Caballeron begins to back away from Nightshade, before he suddenly smirks.

"Wait a second...that gun is fake! You had me going there for a second, but there's no way that is real."

Nightshade just raises her brow before pulling the trigger. The Dark Cannon begins to charge up, and everypony begins to back away slightly as they can see the gun start to glow and hear it charging up. Caballeron starts to sweat some more before stuttering out,

"N-now see here! This is a nice light show but there's no way tha-"

Right before the gun fires Nightshade turns and aims it at a pillar. The Dark Cannon fires and its energy arrow flies threw the air and completely obliterates the pillar. Nightshade then turns back to Caballeron, her brow still raised as she shifts the gun back to aim at him.

You let out a whistle at the destruction, while Daring Do just stares for a bit before saying,

"Okay kid, gotta admit...that was pretty awesome."

Caballeron, on the other hoof, seems to forget how his legs work as he collapses on the spot shaking like a leaf. He stares at Nightshade in pure fear as he mumbles out,

"That...that was real! You...you could have killed me! I-I-I..."

Before Caballeron's mental breakdown can continue however, Ahuizotl hands you 20 bits.

“Well you were right Fix. She did cause massive destruction.” He then releases all of his cats from their cages and shouts, “I think we should all be running, like RIGHT NOW!” Then the entire temple begins to shake. Everypony begins to look around in

“What’s going on Zotl?” you ask as you try to keep your footing.

“She just blasted the one key pillar keeping the entire temple up,” he shouts as he picks up his kitty.

“What?!” all of you shout.

“Why was that the only thing holding this place up?!” you shout.

“It was like a self destruct button, only less techy, that’s why I had it in my cat room so they could protect it!” he then takes off down the hallway with his cats.

“Well screw this noise then!” Daring Do shouts as she flies off.

“EEEEE!!!” Caballeron screams like a filly and takes off as well.

You share a look with your Great Grand Daughter, and you both utter the same exact words for your feelings on the matter.

"Oh crap baskets!"

RandomFastReader’s Comment: kill it all kill it all with FIRE!!!

You pant from the exertion of flying through a collapsing building as you watch the ruins of Ahuizotl’s temple go up in flames.

“Why? *pant* Why did it catch fire? It’s all stone,” you ask Grandbuggy who is also panting.

“Because kid *pant* somehow you’re Dad’s predilection for arson is genetic,” he answers.

“I don’t know what preda-whatever means, but I’m not fire crazy like Daddy,” you defend. “I mean, sure I accidentally burnt down Whinny Land and all, but I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Well, whether ya wanna smooch it like your dad or not, you got the firestarter blood in ya girl,” he chuckles and your ears flop to your head.

“You can say that again Fix,” Ahuizotl grumbles as he walks out of the surrounding trees and stares at his burning home. “Thankfully everyone got out, even if that does include Steve,” he spits.

“Yeah…sorry about all this old chum. I really only intended to get one Ring and be on my merry way,” Grandbuggy apologizes.

“Eh,” Ahuizotl shrugs. “Daring Do has done this to several of my temple homes. I have spares.”

“Still, I’m really sorry about all this,” you apologize. “I was just trying to show up Caballeron because he’s nothing but a big bully…Where is that turd anyway?”

“Gone,” Ahuizotl says with a sigh.

“Gone? With all of my stuff?!” you growl.

“Actually Daring Do took those, and he took off after her. She jumped his goons outside one of the exits and flew off with their loot, including one of my Rings of Scorchero,” he slumps his shoulders. “She’s gone too. I didn’t even get to yell out my curses to her…”

“Cheer up pal, she’ll be back again. She’s got more stories to sell,” Grandbuggy comforts and Ahuizotl nods.

“So Daring Do has my stuff? That thieving little…” you growl and Grandbuggy cuts you off.

“Shade, were any of those artifacts on the list?”

“Well…no,” you admit. “But they were cool sounding. One of them was a magic staff that could shoot laser beams.”

“You can do that with your horn kiddo,” Grandbuggy points out and you look up at your rarely used appendage.

“Oh right. I keep forgetting about that,” you admit and Grandbuggy shakes his head.

“Goramnit boy…Well next thing you’re learning that your pops should have taught you is magic.”

“Sounds good Grandbuggy, but what about the Ring of Scorchero WE need? Shouldn’t we go after it?”

“That was only one senorita,” Ahuizotl says as he pulls a hula hoop sized ring out of…somewhere, and hands it to you, “Like I said, there are more, and since I won’t be able to bring a heat wave to the jungle anytime soon, I suppose I’ll find some other Ancient artifacts.

“Oh…Sweet!” you cheer as you put it in the Inventory.

1 Ring of Scorchero Acquired

“Alright! We have one of the artifacts we need and it was easy as pie!”

An explosion somehow goes off in the ruins of the burning temple just as you say that and Ahuizotl looks at you sadly.

“…Relatively speaking. Sure it sucks that your home got destroyed, and I lost my well deserved WINNNGS! But I think we’re doing good so far.”

“Well said Kid. Luckily I also got that map me and Ahui here wrote up. We know exactly where our next destination is,” Grandbuggy agrees.

“Awesome…let’s get to that before the jungle starts burning why don’t we?”

After a nod from both Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl, you all begin to make your way back to some semblance of the civilized world.

As you do, you can’t help but wonder,

“I wonder if Daddy and Mommy are doing as well in that other world?”

“Oh gods, I’m not doing well at all Selly, I don’t know if I can do this,” you stutter nervously.

You’ll do fine Bugze, it’s just a school, Selena encourages.

“Yeah! High school! I don’t have very fond memories of it!” you shudder as you stand outside the entrance of Crystal Prep Acadamy early in the morning.

A couple days ago, you got around to telling B2 the story of your life till this moment, and suffice to say, he really seemed into it, claiming he could write an epic rock ballad with the stories you gave him. He also swore to help you in your quest to find the Siren Stones.

Supposedly that’s what he’s doing today, using some vague information power he called, The Internet, while you get to play janitor.

“Why didn’t he take the first day again?”

Because though he is getting cleaner, the toxins in his blood still remain, Selena explains again with a sigh.

I know how that feels, Sombra grumbles grumpily.

“Oh quit whining, we haven’t drugged you in months,” you roll your eyes at his dramatics.

Oh Gee, In that case I’ll just forget about that harrowing experience why don’t I? he says sarcastically, which goes over your head.

“That’s the spirit!” you cheer before you focus again on the real world and gulp.

“Alright…I can do this. I’m the adult now, so there’s no need to fear evil disgusting human teenagers. I just have to find the portal’s location, and then I can move on with my quest.”

You then hear one of those evil bus things, only this one is Yellow, with several of the students inside.

“EEEK! There’s a whole swarm of them!” you shriek as you rush inside the building towards Scruffy’s “Work” Area.

*Sigh* Bugze, For Goodness's Sake...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Notes:

Back to School Bugze, What Fresh Hell Awaits You?

Hey Hive Mind,

Short chapter I know, but I only can work with what I’m given, but I hope you still enjoyed it. Nightshade and Grandbuggy are still on their quest in Equestria, and now it’s time to focus on Bugze for a few more chapters. What nonsense can a Janitor get up to, especially when there are three familiar counterparts in this school alone? I don’t know, you tell me

This Chapter’s Question is the same as last.

What should Grandbuggy and Nightshade’s ending theme be?

I only got one other suggestion besides my own, so come on, give me some good ones.

See you on the Battlefield,

Brown Dog.

Episode 11: The Almighty Janitor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

After bravely fleeing from the evils of public transportation and human teenagers, you arrive at Scruffy’s work area, and unsurprisingly, he is nowhere in sight.

“Great professionalism old man,” you mumble as you grab a spare cap from your locker and and grab the cleaning cart.

“Ok, I can do this. I can do this…” you whisper as you hear the sounds of opening lockers and hundreds of young voices.

“…Maybe I can wait till they’re in class first.”

Bugze, they’re naught but children, Selena says in exasperation.

“And children are the most dangerous of all. Nightshade’s not even a teen yet and I’m more than certain she’s more powerful than all three of us.”

I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment, Sombra agrees.

As Selena sighs and you hear her facehoof, you come up with a fantastic idea for avoiding the evil teen monkey things for just awhile longer.

Kichi’s Comment

“You know, I haven’t introduced myself to the leaders here. What kind of employee would I be if I didn’t at least speak with them?” you declare as you intentionally steer your cart away from the noisier areas. The only problem is, you have no idea where the faculty offices are.

"Maybe I should have gotten a map" you mutter as you walk the hallways, keeping your eyes down from the slowly trickling in students.

A map would not help you with your poor sense of direction, so I suggest you find some stairs, Sombra insults.

Of course you would suggest that, you roll your eyes as you remember the countless steps in the Crystal Palace.

I was not even conscience during that time, and even I feel they were too much, Selena agrees.

And what is wrong with stairs? They add a nice touch and are perfect for slinkies, counters Sombra a little angrily.

How did you ever conquer the Crystal Empire when all you are is obsessed with toys and mythological creatures? Selena chastises.

Shattering the former monarch tends to help, he growls.

Before another three way mental argument can occur though, you pause and shout,

"Gaaah! Why do all these hallways look the same?! I will starve and die in these hallways, I swear to Luna! Lost forever!"

Thankfully, it being early in the morning works in your favor since none of the bleary eyed students even acknowledge your outburst.

What have we talked about shouting while in public in this world? Selena chides.

Not to do it…you admit ruefully. But seriously all I need is a map! My kingdom for a map!

WhatKingdom? Both Selena and Sombra ask with skepticism.

My metaphorical kingdom of worth that I would give to know where the buck I’m at!

“Umm, excuse me? Do you need help?” comes a voice from behind you.

Oh Gods! One of them is talking to me! You mentally panic as you clear your throat and look down at your cart.

"Umm? Oh, yes, I'm new here, and I was searching for a map to meet my new boss" you say, not looking at the speaker.

“Oh. Well Principal Cinch would be who you’re supposed speak to, but she’s actually meeting with the Superintendent today, so you’ll want to speak with Vice Dean Cadence. Just continue on this hallway, turn right, and it’ll be the third door on your left.”

“Err, thanks kid, big help,” you mutter as you immediately start moving.

“No problem,” she says. As you round the corner, you realize that that voice was shockingly familiar, and you turn around, and see the back of her pony tailed purple and magenta hair.

Holy Crap! That was human Twilight wasn’t it? How did I not immediately pick up on that?

I’m more surprised that you didn’t immediately register who she said the Vice Dean of this academy was, Selena points out.

What? Cadence? I’d already figured her counterpart would be here after running into Human Twilight and Shining, though I figured she would’ve been the head honcho.

Following Twilight’s directions, you come across an office door with Cadance’s full name written on it.

OK, about to see the twisted visage of one of my oldest friends…the last one didn’t go over so well, you think as you rub the scar on your chest.

Verily, Selena agrees with a wince.

Summing up all your courage, you knock on the door.

8BitMadness’s Comment

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

Darkinfinity666’s Comment

"Come in," the very familiar voice comes from behind the office door.

As you enter the office you see the humanized version of Cadence writing something down, and you are surprisingly not as disgusted by her visage as you should be.

Oh sweet Luna no! I’m becoming used to their looks. Smokey’s infected me with his Humanism. THIS IS THE END OF ME! THE END I SWEAR!

Of course this just causes Selena to facepalm before she says,

Calm down my bug. There is probably a logical explanation. Maybe since you know what the pony version of Cadenza looks like, the human version doesn't affect you as much?

Usually you would rebut this with something along the lines of a dumb freak out, but that unnatural sense of calmness and intelligence hits you yet again.

Y-yeah that makes sense. Since I know the real version, I don’t feel like hurling...As much. Yeah that makes sense. Thanks Selly.

With that thought you fully enter the office and Cadance looks up at you, and for the briefest second there's a spark of...recognition (?) in her eyes before it disappears. This, of course, confuses you.

Wait...does B2 know Cadence or something? That doesn't make any sense...unless...
Before you can continue on that thought she speaks up.

"Good morning sir, and you are?" she asks, genuinely curious, and with no hostile intent behind the question.

"My name's Bugze, and Scruffy hired me as the new janitor,” youadmit. “I, uh, kinda don't know the layout of the school yet so I'm a bit lost and was looking for a map," you say, rubbing the back of your head with a cheeky grin on your face. At the mention of being a new janitor, Cadance smiles softly.

"About time he got around to that. Well I suppose that would make me the first to officially welcome you to the staff and faculty! I am Vice Dean Cadenza, but you can call me Cadance. If you didn't already know, all staff have access to the teacher's lounge, including maintenance. I'll have to get your name put on one of the lockers in there. If you ever have stuff you need to leave at school, you can put it in there to keep it safe. Let me get you that map."

As expected, the Cadance of this world is quite kind as well, despite being in business mode. Cadance hands you a map of the school, and it’s very high quality and helpful.

“I hope that helps Mr. Bugze, and I hope your first day will go smoothly,” she says as she reaches her hand out for a handshake.

Wincing slightly, you place your own hand into hers and she shakes it. Even if she’s not as physically disturbing to you as the others, the hand thing still feels gross and wrong.

“Th-Thank you,” you mutter, suppressing a gag. She stares at you searchingly for a few beats, before the professional demeanor returns.

“If you have any questions throughout the day, feel free to ask me, or if I’m not around, my Husband Professor Shining Armor,” she adds letting go of your hand.

“N-No problem,” you say. “Thanks for the help and all. I’ll get to it then boss.” You then salute and walk out the door before letting out a huge pant of breath.

OOF, was that awkward or what?

I found it quite enjoyable, Sombra chuckles at your misfortune.

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Zamboni, you roll your eyes and stand up straighter. You then look at your surroundings and pale.

AllenNoir’s Comment

Master of Shadow’s Comment

Randomfastreader’s Comment

The hallways are full of students, and they are all chatting away noisily. The walls are still dirty from Scruffy’s negligence, and somehow in the time it took these teens to get off the buses and to their classes, they’ve made it dirtier somehow. You stare in awe at the trash littering the ground, the paper air planes drifting down the halls, the spit balls shot from miscreants, and the whole cacophony of noise in shock and awe. Even after the bell rings, and the gaggle of people fill into their classes, you still stare.

Thankfully now that the noise has gone, you have time to think rationally and realize it is now your job to clean up this place. Letting out a sigh, you get to work.

You scrub the walls, you pick up trash, you even help rescue some nerdy looking human from a locker, and he goes running off to class without so much as a thank you.

Working fast, you get the place looking pretty clean and you smile at your accomplishment. Then the bell rings and the students file out to get to their next class, and your hard work gets tarnished. By the time the disgusting humans leave the hallway again, there is more trash to pick up and more stains to clean.

…Is this punishment for my fear of buses? What sick joke is this? You groan and look around you. The cycle repeats itself another 3 times before you decide to take a break and enter a bathroom.

just_another_guy’s Comment

Having walked around the school, you mentally mapped certain areas, such as possible hiding spots, shortcuts, Staff Only Areas (especially staff only), and any others that would come in handy with doing your job. You open up the map Cadance gave you and with a pencil, make crooked x’s on these spots (your penmanship with your new teeth is rather challenging).

Alright, now I have an idea of where to go in an emergency, and have possible places to search for the portal.

Putting the map away, you walk over to the sink and run water over your former hooves and splash some on your face. You sigh and look at your reflection in the mirror.

Still one ugly mother bucker... you think sadly. You hear a toilet flush and a few seconds later there is a yellowish female human with rose and teal hair beside you washing her fingers (shiver) looking at her reflection too.

"Stressful morning?" she asks.

"Yeah..." you moan "first day on the job and this is soul sucking."

"At least janitors get to move more, most of my energy is spent not falling asleep on those damn chairs." She then dries her hands with some paper towels and looks at you.

"Anyway thank God you’re finally around, Now I won’t have to bleach the toilet seat before using it anymore,” she says before walking out the door.

"Bleached toilet seat? That sounds really dan-Wait a minute, was that a she? Am I in the Girl’s Bathroom?" You look around you and see that there are no urinals in sight.

Well that’s a yes. Huh… she didn't call me a creep, weirdo or a pervert? That’s strange.

You are the janitor, you keep the latrines clean so you’re the exception.

Wait really? I have that much power? I can go anywhere and not look suspicious in the slightest? You ask taken aback.

Yep, she answers simply.

You look at your big keychain with all the keys to rooms you can open and smile.

Ohhhh~ where gonna have fun with these. I’ll find that stupid portal in no time.

“I Have The POOOWWWEEERRR!!!” you cheer as you hold your mighty keys aloft. You then put your keys back on your hip and turn around.

“Now, time to clean those toilets!”

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

AllenNoir’s Comment

As you mop the same hall for what you feel like is the eighth time that day you can't help but sigh as you stare at the mass as they move to lunch. The more you’ve seen the teens walking to and from class, the less you’ve seen them as a group of ugly animals, and more as the ugly High Schoolers they are.

Geeze, this is really bringing back bad memories. I'm getting all tense expecting Mongo or someling to jump me.

Now now Bugze, there's no reason to worry. This is a completely different world, I highly doubt you are suddenly going to attack by bullies. Even if you are in a high school, you are the adult now remember?

I know I know, but I can't shake off the feeling, you sigh. Maybe just being in a high school again is messing with me, or maybe cleaning the same hall every period is making me nu-

"HEY! STOP THAT! GIVE THEM BACK!" comes a shout and your head darts to the source. The words all too familiar to you. You head over to where it came from...and see three snotty looking girls surrounding the human Twilight.

“You know you’re not supposed to bring vermin onto school ground right?” mocks the Alpha Bitch as she holds aloft a squirming purple and green puppy while Twilight tries to reach for him.

“Give Spike Back! He hasn’t done anything to you!” she says as the three girls keep holding her back and handing the dog off.

Wait a minute, Spike? You think in confusion. Why’s Spike a dog in this world? Are all dragons dogs? Is Smaug just a giant red dog or something?

“I don’t know, maybe I should just tell the Dean about this right?” the main bully taunts and the puppy whines and Twilight looks about ready to cry.

*SNAP*

Getting flashbacks to your days in the Hive your glare intensifies.

Hello misplaced aggression!

Bugze, you cannot physically assault those students. You will be imprisoned.

Yeah I know, you grind your teeth. But come on, I can’t let this stand! I have to do something!

You look at your cart with your mop and various cleaning supplies and are reminded of the Crimson Knight Leader Grey Rebl, who fought vehemently with janitorial items. Suddenly a light bulb goes off and you smirk as you place your bucket of dirty water onto your cart and charge forward towards the group at breakneck speeds.

“Please, just give me back my pup-“ Twilight pleads, before you shout.

“Whoa! Watch out you three!”

The three bully girls and Twilight look to your shout, as you hit the brakes and “accidentally” let the water fly from your bucket and onto the three.

“OOOHHH!!!” the three shriek as the Spike dog is thrown into the air, where Twilight catches him and he immediately starts licking her face.

“Oops, sorry about that kids, let me help you with that,” you say as you pull out an armful of paper towels and walk towards them, only to “accidentally” trip and cause them all to cover them from head to toe.

Nearby students begin laughing at this display, and frustrated and embarrassed, the three bullies retreat down the hall to the nearest bathroom.

Ha! Take that you snooty little bitches! How’s it feel to be laughed at, spit on and mocked huh? How’d you like the taste of-

Bugze…she’s staring at you, Selena grabs your attention.

Huh? You look towards Human Twilight who’s glasses are eschew and holding the dragon dog to her chest.

“Umm…thank you sir, I really appreciate it,” she thanks you.

“Oh, uhh…don’t worry about it Ms. I’m always accident prone when the situation arises,” you say with a wink. She looks at you even more intently and you start sweating.

Crud, did I overdue it? Will she tell others I did that on purpose? What is she-

“Hey, aren’t you that guy that was shouting in front of the front entrance the other day?” she asks and your eyes widen.

Ohhh…Right…I forgot about that.

That surprises literally no one, Sombra mocks.

Buck off Smokey!

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Awkward Situation Is Awkward.

Hey Hive Mind,

Brown Dog here wishing you a Happy Anniversary. As many of you saw on DWC’s blog post, it is the 4^th Anniversary of Life of a Wanted Changeling. Kind of amazing how frankensteining different comments about a bumbling bug into a cohesive story has lasted this long, but I’m glad it has. We may be in the final season, but we’re still a ways from the end, so there will plenty of shenanigans for our favorite bug and family to engage in. I’m glad to be able to share it with you all.

Anyway, looks like the Sci-Twi social link has just been opened, so let’s see how that turns out. Remember that this is still some weeks before Pony Twi shows up, and we’re in a complete other school.

There is no question today, instead there will be voting. No new suggestions were put forth, so the poll will be between two songs.

VOTE HERE (POLL CLOSED)

See you on the next chapter,

Brown Dog.

Episode 12: An After School Special

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Puzzling Frost’s Comment

As you nervously stand there you think,

Oh crapbaskets! I forgot she saw my ‘totally natural’ freak out when I arrived.

And by ‘totally natural you mean over the top migraine inducing insanity? Selena snarks.

That’s putting it mildly, Sombra grumbles.

Shut Up, you were fanfillying it up when we first arrived Zamboni, and I’m not that crazy Selly...right? You ponder for a second only to realize you’ve found yourself in another stare off. You stare, human Twilight stares, this goes on for an eternity and only a few seconds. Before you can slap yourself Spike decides that enough is enough and jumps out of Twilight’s arms and into yours.

“Gah!” You yell fumbling your arms to catch the dog. Spike then starts to lick your face.

Get him off. Get him off. Get him off!! Sombra yells in disgust and anger.

What’s the matter afraid of a dog? Selena laughs cruelly.

Yeah what gives? I thought you loved fuzzy things, you add.

For your information this dog is this world’s version of that Welp who kept blasting me with fire! If it weren’t for my intangible situation, I’d gladly pay him back! He growls.

Oi lay off or it’s back to druggy town for you, you warn as you peel Spike off your face. I mean, if Real Spike ever does try anything with Nightshade, maybe you and I can work something out…

We most certainly will not. Nightshade has warned you of that countless times,Selena chides.

…But this dog has done nothing wrong, so calm down…Yeah… You taper off to the former tyrant as you pet the dog with your hand to calm him down and he pants.

“Um good boy?” You say in confusion and he happily wags his tail.

This feels weird, I’m petting another world’s version of Nightshade’s friend, you think as he licks your hand. Twilight snaps out of it and grabs him from you,

“Sorry about that. Spike never does that to strangers, he’s only ever done this to me and my family,” she says sheepishly.

“It’s no problem,” you grunt as you wipe dog slobber from your face. “He’s probably just happy he’s not being held by those mean fil-Girls!”

“Yeah, he probably is,” Twilight nods as she brings the puppy’s face up to hers. “Don’t you go running off from me again Mister!” she chides and the dog licks her nose. Twilight brings her pet to her chest and hugs him gently. “I’m glad you’re alright Spike…”

This is kind of…odd. You think rubbing the back of your neck. I mean, Spike said his relationship with Twilight was complicated, but I always thought they were kind of siblings. Does real Twilight see real Spike as a pet? The teenaged human then kisses the top of the puppy’s head and places him in her backpack before looking to you.

“Thank you Mister. I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to him,” she says gratefully.

“Yeah, uh, no problem…Hey shouldn’t you be getting to class?” You inquire.

“Oh no I have an off period right now. I was heading to the library when you saved Spike and I from those bullies,” Twilight says with a sigh.

“D-Don’t worry about that,” you hand wave. “Anyling would do the same. I’m surprised Rainbow didn’t show up and kick their flanks.”

“Rainbow?” she asks confused.

“Ya, or even the AJ, but they weren’t in site so…” you trail off with a shoulder shrug.

“Who are you talking about?” Twilight asks in confusion which makes you raise an eyebrow.

“Umm…your friends?” you venture and she looks even more flabbergasted.

“I…I don’t have…” and then she looks down in sadness.

What the buck? She’s not friends with Rainbow or Applejack in this world?

Come to think of it, we haven’t seen them at all in these halls, nor the other three. Selena muses.

Well yeah, it’s a big place, I just figured we didn’t see them, you reason.

Really? The fact that the Pink one didn’t suddenly appear didn’t tip you off? Sombra mocks.

I…Wow…Does that mean there’s not Deadly 6 in this universe? On one hand, good for me, but on the other… Twilight looks downcast over the admittance of not having friends.

…Dang it! I can’t help but feel sorry for her! Stupid relatable problems!

“Oh, Uh, never mind that, I was just thinking that…seeing a Rainbow and some a nice cold glass of Orange Juice would cheer you up,” you lamely lie.

“Wha…?” she quirks a brow. “It’s not supposed to rain this week and Orange Juice’s abbreviation is’'t AJ it’s-“

“Anyway! Why don’t we go to the library together in case those whorses try to come back? I need to clean that area anyway,” You interuprt with a smile. Twilight seems nervous about that, but she nods and starts walking with you following her. After going down a few hallways, she speaks up again.

Kichi’s Comment

“Thank you again for what you did…but you really shouldn’t have in the long run.”

“Huh? Why not? Those little punks had it coming. It’s not like I could have left you like that,” you admit with pride.

"No really, you should be careful,” she warns you sounding a bit sad. “Why do you think no one else did anything but watch?"

"Because they’re filthy human jerks?" you guess.

"Ummm...” she trails off a bit confused by your wording. “They’re not really jerks, but more practical. Those girls back there are part of the popular crowd and-“

"Let me guess,” you interrupt, “No one wants to stand up to them because of those buckers’ status? They’re probably athletes or the “hot” ones and all you shallow teenagers can’t see past it, and they get to do whatever they want right?”

"Ummm...Yes, in laymen’s terms. How did you know?" she asks.

"All High Schools are the same. High School…High School Never Changes…" you mutter as flashbacks of getting beaten and the dance flash through your mind. Thankfully, Selena smothers those images.

There’s no need to dwell on that whorse’s betrayal Bugze, you’ve moved past it, she encourages. Nodding, you look back to Human Twilight beside your cart.

“And since you look like one of the smart ones, I’m sure they single you out, but even then taking a dog away is a bullspit move.” She quirks an eyebrow at you again for some reason but she continues on.

“Yes, today was a bit rougher. I didn’t expect Spike to bite at her new shoes and…Never mind,” she shakes her head. “The point is, you should be careful. Even if you made it look like an accident, Principal Cinch could’ve still fired you if they had actually been hurt.”

You two reach the entrance to the library and she turns back to you with sad eyes.

“Thank you again Mister, but please don’t go losing your job over me. It’s not worth it.”

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

She says it in such a hollow, placid voice, and it all but makes your heart sink. Her sad resigned eyes make you flashback once again to your own past, to when you didn’t have a friend in the world, to when you were bullied constantly, and had given up that it would stop.

She’s…she’s just accepting it like it’s normal and that she can’t stop it, Selena observes.

She knows not yet that there are ways to prevail against your tormentors, Sombra surprisingly adds, thinking about his own childhood.

She’s given up…you frown. No! Buck this! I can’t-No, I won’t accept that bullspit look in her eyes! On some level this girl is Twilight Sparkle, and even if it’s bullspit she’s evolved into her second god tier form, I still respect the bookworm on some level.

Yes, but she’s a completely separate being without her comrades. You’ve saved her, and she wishes no more help, so there’s not much else we can do, Selena informs.

Sure there is! I’m the wise and kindly janitor Goramnit! You think in determination as you flick Twilight on the head with one of your spindly fingers.

“Ouch!” she responds and holds her head. “What’d you do that for?”

“Because you’re a smart person saying some pretty dumb crap Bookworm,” you scold. “Bullying isn’t something anyone on any world should overlook, especially when you add puppy endangerment to the mix.”

“But-“

“No buts!” you interrupt. “Those skinny fillies back there don’t have any real power, and the only reason you think they do is because you and all these spectator humans let them.”

You then place your hand on her shoulder.

“I know, because I went through the torment of high school. Tartarus, I went through a lot more than what those jerks are dishing out, and I know that every day the sadness tries to take a hold of you. You try to bury that sadness in videogames, or movies, or setting things on fire…ok maybe not everyone does that last one, but the point remains! I’m sure you burry yourself in studies and books right?”

“Y-Yes, I spend a lot of time in my lab,” she stutters.

“Yeah see, there you go. Though you’re probably learning a lot more, you’re letting that sadness control you because you hide behind something and let them win. You let that sadness win,” you mentor.

“But…but I can’t stand up to them,” she admits. “I’m not a fighter, I’m a thinker and…”

“Hey, hey, hey,” you stop her. “Standing up to someone doesn’t necessarily mean you physically fight them, it took me years to figure that one out. And it’s a good thing that’s not your first instinct because it shows you’re a far better person than them morally on any given day, but at some point you’ve got to stand up, in your own way.”

“And…and what way is that?” she asks actually taking your advice.

“That’s up to you to find out kid, but you’re smart, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. But if I did have to give any tips, I would say some healthy revenge pranks do the body good,” you smirk and twirl your keys in front of her face which actually brings a smile to it.

“Just remember, you’ve got a friendly janitor with access to everywhere on campus if you need any help in that endeavor.” You then pocket your keys and take your hand off her shoulder.

“I…Thank you Mister,” she says gratefully. “I’ll…I’ll take that into consideration.”

Smirking now that her spirits are lifted, Selena speaks up.

That...was deeply inspiring and well handled my bug. Good job.

Thanks, I just spoke from the bottom of my artificial magic heart and it just kind of poured out, you snark and she chuckles.

It’s a great start, but advise her to learn her enemies’ weaknesses and to strike with extreme preju-

Nope! Not taking it that far Simba, you cut him off and look back to Twilight.

“Now, you go and enjoy your library time, and I’ll clean these floors for like the fiftieth time.” You then push your cart down the hallway away from her and she speaks up.

“I’m Twilight by the way, Twilight Sparkle,” she introduces herself.

Oh…right. She doesn’t know I know who she is, you think feeling awkward.

“Nice to meet you Twilight, the name’s Bugze. You may see me here some days with a beard and some without, but that’s normal.”

“Huh?” she says taken aback.

Randomfastreader’s Comment

Just_another_guy’s Comment

“And in answer to your question earlier, yes I am absolutely that guy you saw screaming the other day.”

Bugze, I think you’re letting your mentoring and trust go too far, Selena warns, but you continue.

“I thought so. Why were you screaming if I might ask Mr. Bugze,” she questions.

"Well, when stressed I suffer from brief periods of insanity, which tend to make me shout random things,” you admit. “So in the future, if you see me seemingly talking to myself or shouting angrily like, I HATE THIS BUCKING WORLD!” You give for emphasis which startles her, “Don’t think too much of it.”

And cue a massive facehoof from Selena resounding across your skull.

"Ooookkkkkaaaayyy…” Twilight says more than a little disturbed. “So what you’re saying is you suffer from Tourette's?”

"….Yeah that I have tourist'se,” you agree because it sounds like some weird human condition.

"Tourette's," she corrects.

"That’s what I said."

"Well, thanks for sharing that I guess,” she says as she slowly opens the library door.

“Really you should just ignore it. Though my cursing could probably teach you humie kids a thing or two, just like my baby.” She pauses at that.

"You swear to your baby?!" She asks in shock.

"She uses them in the right context and doesn't say them in EVERY bucking sentence" you counter.

"Oooookkkkaaayyy…I’m just gonna…Bye Mr. Bugze,” she says as she enters the library hurriedly.

You hear a very stressed sigh let out in your head.

That was a very nice moment before you went and bucked it up at the end, Selena says in disappointment.

Hey, I’m the friendly janitor, not guidance counselor, I have to be mysterious and contradictory, you counter, trying to hide the fact that your own stupidity is really to blame.

And with that, you get back to work.

As the day went on, you found yourself cleaning up countless other messes that these filthy humans kept making, but nothing else major occurs. Thankfully you didn’t run into any more cases of bullying, or even run into Human Shining Armor, but at the same time you have yet to find signs of the portal.

“It’s gotta be there somewhere,” you grumble as you head around to the back of your abandoned library hideout.

The problem is, it probably doesn’t look exactly like a giant horseshoe in this dimension, Selena adds.

“Yeah…Speaking of horse shoes…”

Fireheart1945’s Comment

“What the Tartarus was with that flyer for the rodeo at that bus stop?” you shudder. Since you had to ride the bus, again, you had tried to calm yourself at the smelly bus stop, and you saw a flier for an upcoming rodeo. On it was a human dressed in usual western attire, but the most horrific thing about it was…

“I mean, that human was RIDING a horse! There are horses here and the humans RIDE them! What sick world is this?”

It’s suggested in human mythology that equines were used as beasts of burden for them, though the show never went into-

“Oh Gods! That’s terrible! Add speaking to a pony of this world and getting their thoughts on the matter to the list,” you say in fright.

You then enter the library and see your counterpart on one of those small plastic screen things that every human seems to have.

“Oh hey, you’re back,” he sits up and looks to you with a smile. “So, how was the first day?”

“Your people’s teenagers are filthy horrible creatures,” you groan as you sit across from him. “But other than that, it was alright.”

“So pretty simple huh? Just scrubbing floors and everything?” he asks in preparation for when he takes a shift.

“Eyup…also, I stopped a girl named Twilight Sparkle from being bullied and kind of hinted that I’d help her get prank vengeance. Also, she thinks we have tourism, so be sure to shout once in a while.”

“Tourism?” he asks in confusion.

“Or something like that, some weird human disease.”

“Okkkaaay…well, did you have any luck finding the portal?” he asks.

“No,” you slump your shoulders. “That place is huge, and those teens kept me on my *Gag* toes. There’s so much I haven’t explored. Least we have a map.” You hand him said map with your notes and he looks it over and whistles.

“Wow, this place is pretty big. Heck, helping that Sparkler girl get vengeance has so many possibilities…”

“I know right?” you agree and start eating a bag of chips.

“Well you may not have had any luck on your end, but I think I might have found a lead on your Ancient Sea Horse Monsters,” he says handing you back the map.

“You have?” you ask excitedly.

“Yep,” he presses on his screen and the light flashes. “By the way, I got you a phone too at the mall so we’ll be able to keep in contact,” he says handing you a similar looking screen.

“This is a phone?!” you ask in surprise. “Where is the rotary and the chord?”

“…Dang, you guys are really behind in horse land,” he says with a shrug.

Cell Phone Added to Inventory

“I’ll teach you how to use it in a sec, but here, check out what I found,” B2 says as he turns his phone around to you and you read a news article.

“Supposedly there has been sightings of a giant lake monster up in the woods for years, might be one of your Siren things.”

You look at a photo on his phone and see a blurry black and white photo of something with a long neck in some water.

…Were sirens that big?

From what I remember, they could grow to size rivaling some dragons, Selena muses.

Hmmm, then I guess we have our first lead then, you think with a smile.

“Alright B2, where’s this lake at?”

“It’s about a three hour drive north near a place called Camp Everfree…”

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Mysterious Lake Monsters? Surely that must be what Bugze’s looking for and not something entirely different

Hi Hive-Mind,

Sorry for the delay, had to work a 71 hour week, so free time was spent sleeping. Hope you understand. Now let’s get onto more Bugze shenanigans. Just remember we’re it’s still some time before the first movie.

Anyway, the winner of Nightshade and Grandbuggy’s ending theme has been chosen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-nG9n_s4jI

Congratulations to Puzzling Frost for the winning suggestion, and I have to admit, that song seems tailor made for our badass little filly.

This Chapter’s Question,

What Technologies (within reason) do you think Bugze and crew should acquire on their quest?

Aside from finding those pesky siren stones, Bugze’s gotta bring some humie tech back with him, so what should he add to the list for future chapters?

See you on the battlefield Hive Minders,

Brown Dog.

Episode 13: Tech v. Woods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

"BUCK NO! A THOUSAND TIMES BUCK NO!" B2 jumps at your sudden outburst and looks at you in confusion.

"Whoa hey man! I know the Everfree has some creepy rumors behind it bu-"

Not allowing your counterpart to finish you send him a glare as you semi-shout,

"Rumors!? On my world practically every type of rumor that forest had is true! I've almost been maimed by practically every creature that lives in there, including the chipmunks!"

“Well…I seriously doubt you’ll come across violent chipmunks here. There is an animal preserve not far from the camp but-“

“Oh that’s even better, wild and exotic killer critters coming for my soft human hide! Do the plants spray knock out gas as well?!” you grunt.

While this only causes B2's confusion to soar, you hear Selena sigh in your head as she says,

Bugze calm down! I know that forest has caused us problems in the past but now isn't the time to-

Some problems!? I've gotten my flank kicked more times than I can count in that forest alone! For Luna’s Sake, I'm pretty sure that forest has a personal grudge against me for the amount times its almost killed me!

Yes, in our world. I'm sure in this dimension it is a perfectly normal place where no magic or dangerous creatures exist...

"Achoo!"

"Whoa Gloriosa you coming down with a cold or something?"

"No no I'm fine Timber. Through I feel like someone just said something very ironic about me."

"Huh...weird."

...

Why do I feel like I've just been disproven?

Because the universe is conspiring with Lady Luck to make our lives suck, that's why. There is nothing on this earth that will make me go to that camp! Nothing!

Fireheart1945’s Comment

“Gorramnit!” you shout into the accursed trees as you try to erect the cheap tent you bought at the thrift store.

“I comically said hours ago that I wouldn’t come here, yet here I am. What compelled me to do that?!”

I did, Selena says sternly. Because I pointed out that you not following up on a lead that could give me my own body was breaking a promise to me, and if that happened I would make your life a living Tartarus.

“…Oh yeah,” you think guiltily. “Still, why am I out here when it’s nearly night time with such a stupid flimsy tent?”

Tent is too good a word for this thing. It’s more like worn rags with sticks, Sombra chuckles.

“The point remains chucklebuck, why are we out here so late with such shoddy protection?” you counter.

Because you putzed around with what seemed to be outdated technology on this world, and you acted like a fool in public again. To punctuate that statement, the tent falls down in a pile and you sigh.

“Okay, maybe I skimped on shelter, but I mean, come on, a lot of that stuff is surely going to be useful for whatever machine Jack’s building.”

After throwing your hissy fit, and being reminded of your promises and obligations, you decided that it was best to get the forsaken woods over and done with as soon as possible. To help with supplies for such an endeavor, B2 took you to a thrift shop.

“It’s been a long time since I went camping with Grandad. Shame I won’t be able to come with,” he says forlornly.

“Believe me ME, if your Everfree is anything like mine, you’re not missing a danged thing.”

“Yeah, but you get to go out and be in the fresh air, and eat beans from the can. I have got to deal with teenagers tomorrow,” he complains.

“More like a nice hungry bear is going to attack me for trying to eat my lunch, or killer bees that want to sting my chitenless skin…or Bears that shoot bees!”

“Whoa…that’s a metal image,” your counterpart says in contemplation. “Still, teenagers are a pain man. I should know, I used to be one.”

“Oh you’ll be fine,” you hand wave. “Just keep cleaning up things and look for the magic mirror that will be my ticket home when I’m done with this world.”

“Yeah, and how easy is that going to be if I’ve also possibly got to deal with mentoring some high school girl on revenge pranking?” he points out.

“You can multitask, now quit complaining when I’m the one that has to face a giant sea monster and have to take their family heirloom.”

“Good point,” he nods. “But if you do see it, take a picture would ya? That’s gotta be worth something.”

“I don’t have a camera…I should probably get one considering I promised my baby that I’d bring back pics.”

“Oh dude, that’s easy, your phone has a built in camera.”

“It does?!” you say fascinated.

After showing you more functions of your Star Trek looking piece of tech, you both arrived at the thrift store.

Just_another_guy’s Comment

“Alright,” B2 starts, “If you’re gonna keep in contact with me out in the woods, we’re gonna have to get you an external charger for that phone. Preferably one that’s solar powered.”

“Wait, this magic phone can be powered by the sun? Can anything else like my Nook?” you ask in fascination.

“Hmmm. Might have to get a multi cable too. But anyway, you get the camping supplies and I’ll look for those.”

He then walked off into the store to do just that. Shrugging, you were about to look for supplies, but then something caught your eye.

Fireheart1945’s Comment

Down With Chrysallis’s Comment

“OH MY GOSH! Is that a Joy Boy?” you squee. Indeed the gaming device you find on a shelf with other so called “outdated” tech looks exactly like the gaming system back home. The only difference is, it’s called a Game Boy.

“And what’s this game inside…Pokemon? Humans have that too?” you then look at the picture on the cartridge and see a familiar looking red monster with a fiery tail..

Jackpot! You think happily.

But this is a technology we already possess in Eques-

JACKPOT!!! You interrupt Selena causing her to sigh.

“Even without hooves, this will be easy to play.”

Game Boy Added to Inventory.

“Now, back to getting camping su-Oh My Gosh What Is That?!” you yell aloud pointing, causing the mare in your head to sigh again.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

“A hoverboard?” you say curiously as you look at the little device with two wheels. “I gotta be reading that wrong, hoverboards are supposed to hover right?...Well only one way to find out.”

Only ten seconds later, and you were regretting that decision.

"W-Whoa! How do you stay uprig-*WHUMP*” you promptly faceplanted into a display case after the board tipped over.

“Ugh! Stupid human legs!” you growl. “Get good at hover boarding!” you then began dusting yourself off from the reused second hand items collected on you, and as you did, you realized there was an arachnid perched on your shoulder.

"Gah!" you panic and flail, not realizing that the spider is in fact made of plastic.

Bugze, calm down. It's just a-

"KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" You exclaimed and threw the misleading hoverboard at the toy, which somehow caused the thing to catch fire.

"I…uh…OK,” you muttered in confusion. Whistling nonchalantly, you stomped out the fire and put the destroyed hoverboard in your bag, just in case it’s tech can be salvaged.

Destroyed Hoverboard added to Inventory.

You then grabbed the nearest thing that looked like a tent and high tailed it to B2.

“Hey Bugze, I found the cable and charger and…is something burnring?”

“Nope, just you’re imagination,” you lied.

“I…Ok,” he said unsurely. “Also, if you are gonna be in the woods, I got you something to defend yourself with.

Master of Shadows Comment

WARGAMES’ Comment

“Oh please tell me you have an ion cannon for me?” you asked hopefully.

“Ummm…nooooo,” he said trailing off, looking at you as if you were crazy.“It’s a tazer, you know, because you’re whole non killing fighting style.” He then handed you a square box like thing that emits a small electric current.

“…You know, back home I could create much more than this with my bare hoof right?”

“Yeah, well you don’t exactly have hooves right now do you?” he said smugly.

“…Touché,” you admit and pocket his items.

Tazer

Solar Powered Charger

Multi Cable Added to the Inventory

After that, the two of you walked to the bust station, where B2 got you bus tickets to this accursed camp. You then wished him luck on his first day tomorrow, and he reciprocated. You then boarded yet another evil bus…but…

Randomfastreader’s Comment

Let’s just say, you’re still not comfortable with public transportation,

“All of you bucking smell! How can you stand this death machine! AAAAAHHHH!!!”

And you attempted to use the newly acquired taser on your fellow passengers which resulted in you being thrown off the bus before arriving at your destination, which resulted in you being lost in the woods.

“…Okay, maybe I could have handled things better…but hey, we have a human Joy Boy, some chords and chargers and a nifty tazer.”

And how is that going to get us to this Camp in the Everfree? Selena pointedly asks.

“I…haven’t figured that part out yet. But I’m sure if I just keep walking north tomorrow I’ll find it.

After a few more tries of trying to erect the tent and failing, you just wrap yourself up in the cheap canvas and prepare for a long night in the woods.

Kichi’s Comment

After nearly falling asleep, you are startled when you hear rampant hooting noises in the woods.

“The Buck is that?” you ask in fear. “Is it the Siren?”

Siren’s don’t hoot Bugze, Selena deadpans.

“Well I wouldn’t know, I never met one!” glancing around your campsite, you suddenly spy several eyes staring at you from the trees.

Crapbaskets! You panic as you stand up and brandish your taser. In the light of the small electric current though, the owners of the eyes reveal themselves.

A Monkey! Sombra squeels in glee.

Or rather Monkeys, since there are more than one pair of eyes in the night.

“Well that’s a relief. I thought we were gonna have to deal with Cockatrices again…Although what are monkeys doing in this kind of forest and not the jungle?”

Didn’t your counterpart mention something about an animal preserve?

Yeah. But still I’m glad it’s harmless little monkeys and not-

Without warning, the monkey in your light lets out a maddening hooting chant that gets the others all riled up, and a look of anger comes to their eyes.

“…I knew it, I bucking knew it. Every goramned thing wants to kill me in the Everfree, no matter what world it’s in,” you whimper as you try to take a few steps back. That’s all it takes though for the dam to break, and the horde of monkeys pounce on you.

“AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” you scream to the heavens as you run with several monkeys clawing and biting you.

So it turns out that monkeys are incredibly territorial. You found that out first hand as you ran all night with the little bucks trying to claw your eyes out. You stumble out of the trees with ripped up clothing, and more than a few scratches.

“Selly…when we finally get you a body, I want you to remember last night. I want you to remember that I got scratched up and nearly eaten by bucking MONKEYS for you…” you growl grouchily and sleep deprived.

…I’ll not forget it, I swear, she says sounding a bit guilty at your current state.

“And that’s all I ask.”

“Oh My Gosh! What Happened To You?!” comes a startled female voice. You look your left and see a human woman with redish pink skin and a raspberry mane with flowers in it. She has a walking stick and backpack with her and looks extremely worried.

“Monkeys, you filthy humie. It was monkeys,” you groan.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Monkeys and Bug Horses turned Men, Enemies since the dawn of time! Maybe this friendly camp counselor lady can help with your lake monster problem that surely exists

Hey Hive Mind,

Sorry for the delay, work and Avengers took priority. And sorry if this chapter seems a bit fast, but I can only work with what I have comment wise.

Anyway no chapter question this chapter, let's focus on our bug boy.

See you on the Battlefield Hive Mind,
Brown Dog.

Episode 14: Battle Scars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

The red-haired woman blinks in surprise before her expression morphs into understanding.

"You wandered into the reserve, didn't you?" She states knowingly which surprises you. "You're not the first person to do that, and I doubt you'll be the last. They really need to put a fence or something around it's border so people stop walking into those animals' territories." She says with a frown directed at the forest behind you.

“Or a sign that shows rabid flesh eating monkeys,” you groan into the dirt in response.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let's get you up and over to the lodge. We've got a first aid kit and we can lend you some of Timber's clothes when we get there." She offers.

“Are there monkeys there?” you grunt.

“No,” she says a bit confused.

“Then sure, why the buck not,” you agree as you attempt to get to your feet.

“Here, let me,” she says kneeling down beside you to put one of your arms over her shoulder.

Oh Luna, it’s touching me, you mentally panic before you slump your shoulders in resignation. Meh, I’ll bathe later, right now I’m too tired to care.

So offering no resistance, she helps you to stand up and helps you walk in the direction she came from.

“By the way, I’m Gloriosa Daisy,” she says as she hauls you onto a trail.

“Bugze,” you answer in kind.

“Nice to meet you sir,” she says with a smile. “By the way, is there anybody you want me to call for you?”

“Call? Oh right, magic phones,” you sputter as you remember the impossibly small piece of plastic that B2 gave you.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” you hand wave. “And not really, the other m-MY BROTHER is probably already at work so best not worry him.”

“Oh…OK then,” she shrugs.

GreyRebl’s Comment

And so, the human woman gently leads you to a rather small, yet quaint lodge. The base is alive with moss, and the wooden seem chipped and old, but it’s a far better sight of a shelter than the cruddy tent that you “slept” in. Just by seeing it, you feel your situation instantly getting better as you entertain the idea of a proper roof over your head.

Hopefully.

“Ugh…” you groan deliriously as you stumble toward what looks like the entrance. “Better not be any crawlies in there. I think I already have a few in my mane…”

The woman blinks, a hand pausing on the door handle.

“Mane?” she ask as her eyes trails toward your hair. She then quickly glances away with a not-so-subtle grimace, the disgust bleeding through her voice. “I-I think we can get you bath, too...”

“...Please and thank you,” You gulp, and shudder. Whether real or not, you swear you feel something slithering along your scalp...and it may or may not have more than eight legs. It’s taking all your newly born common sense to NOT give into your burning desire to incinerate your own mane and Sombra’s obnoxious laughter in the back of your mind isn’t helping!

Ahhahahahahah! You’re a bug-pony! And you’re afraid of bugs in your mane? Ahahahah!

Ahahahahaha! You mentally laugh sarcastically. Literally NEVER have heard that one before,

Bugze, just ignore him. Selena sighs. Focus on cleaning up for now.

“Can do…” you mutter, and you follow the woman into the lodge.

You feel the air shift as you step inside. You can still smell the nature in the walls, but the punishing elements of the wild aren’t there anymore. The almighty blessing of the indoors soothes your aching skin, and you glance to the side and you see cots. And by cots, you mean proper beds. Beds so pristine and white and fluffy that you can just feel yourself sinking into it’s sweet, succulent softne—

An icky hand grabs your shoulder, shattering your illusion.

“H-huh, wuh?” you grunt and look back at the woman with flowers in her mane. She pulls you aside, guiding you to a chair.

“Sit over here.” Groaning at the denial of sleep, you do as you’re told. The moment you sit your exhausted flank on it, there is a creaking so high-pitched that you swear it’ll break, if not by your physical weight, then by your horrendous juju. Miraculously, it actually holds, but the stiff, hard wood rubbing against your lower back and, uh, lower human partsmakes you wince.

“Nnngh, Stupid monkey trying to chew my flank off,” you groan as you bare a stiff posture. “Okay, uh, now what?”

Gloriosa pulls out what you assume to be a medkit from her bag.

“I’m going to check you over, you look in rough shape,” she informs.

“Right, right…. Guess that’s fine as long as-” The words in your throat suddenly die. “Uuuh...” You look down on yourself, at your ravaged clothes, your reddening skin and your useless limbs.

I’m completely defenseless here, you shudder and look back at the human who opens up the medkit.

“Um...” you grunt nervously and shift away from her a little.

“...I-Is something wrong?” she asks, pursing her lip in concern.

In the seconds that follow her question, you come to a revelation as a recollection of ALL the times you’ve participated in medical services of some kind runs through your head. A ninja nurse appears in your mind, followed by the flash of a faulty doctorate of a certain quack, which then unravels into an inky black and bleachy white that barely resembles the horrifying faces of crazies from a certain asylum.

And with that flashing through your head, your brows go razor straight as you proceed to make the most logical response in the sanest manner possible.

“You’re not gonna do anything weird to me, are you?!” you shriek and curl your form a bit in defense.

“I...” The incredulity shoots up to her face as her arms flop to her sides. “I’m sorry—What?”

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

You blink from her tone, and several warnings start blaring in your mind, which probably annoyed the heck out of the other two occupants within but-that's-beside-the-point. You forge on and repeat what you said despite the warnings.

"I said, you're not going to do anything weird to me, are you?" You answer. "Because I've had a lot of weird and unwanted things happen to me from people with medical knowledge in the past, particularly from people with the words "Doctor", and "Quack", and "Silver" in their names. Usually in that order." You're not sure why you thought of him just now, although it probably has something to do with him being present in at least seventy-five percent of those weird things.

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

The women gives you a stare for a few moments before she facepalms and mutters,

"Oh not that loon again."

Your eyes widen in surprise at her comment, and you briefly snap out of your dazed state as you ask,

"Wait, you know Quack Silver!?"

"I wish I didn't,” she sighs. “That nut job comes by once every year to volunteer as the camp nurse, and every year we kick him out for trying to perform illegal kidney transplants."

"What! How has he not been arrested yet!? And why would you keep hiring that nutjob!"

She looks confused at your question for some reason before her eyes widen and she says,

"Oh no no no, not on the kids. The wildlife however...."

The growl she gives as she trails off reminds you of the Ursa Major's after you beat up her cub, and that makes you start to fear for your life before she sighs and slumps her shoulders.

"As for hiring him? We don’t. After the first time, he keeps just showing up when camping season starts.”

“Ever heard of a restraining order?” you ask incredulously.

“Yes actually, but that doesn’t stop him,” she shakes her head in annoyance. “But if you’ve run across him I can understand your fear of medicine.”

No Kidding. He’s nuts no matter what the world it seems.

WARGAMES' Comment

Kichi’s Comment

Doctor Quacksalver is drunk and belligerent (as usual) in front of Twilight Sparkle’s Library at midnight.

“Sir, I’ve all but had enough of your ramblings, please leave before I get angry,” the Alicorned Twilight orders.

“But come on, you’re a flappy wappy Princess now, and I need approval for my medical pursuits!” he says swaying.

“I’m not going to allow you to do genetic experiments on poor helpless animals!” she shouts. “Not only is that immoral, but Fluttershy’s rage would break.”

“But Equestria is in need of a troop of two headed, four armed gorilla monsters, why can’t you all see that. Are you all suffering from Crazyitis?” he warbles with a hiccup.

“Why? Why would we possibly need that?” Twilight says, nearly popping a blood vessel.

“It’s the only way to stop the baboons with six limbs that like to suck souls,” he says matter of factly.

“What?!” Twilight says in confusion.

“They exist! One of them tried to eat my soul in a back alley in Fillydelphia, but I administered sedative and ran away,” he says holding up a mallet. “But we have to prepare! Only abomination primates can fight abomination primates.”

“…Get off my lawn!” Twilight growls and shuts her window.

“I see you’re suffering from unbelieveitis. How about instead you let me do experiments on the dragon weasel chaos guy now that he’s hooking up with the Butterfly pegasus? I could knock out that snaggle tooth and use it to make the spider gorillas much easier?”

“I’m Calling The Guards!” Twilight yells.

“Whelp, time to go!” he shouts and runs off. Inside, Twilight facehooves and groans, while a bleary eyed Spike looks at her.

“What was that about Twilight?”

“Some nutjob trying to ask favors now that I’m a princess,” she says with a groan. “This is going to become a thing now isn’t it?”

“Probably,” he nods relunctantly. “But hey, you want to hear some good news?”

“Sure,” she nods.

“I got a letter today from Nightshade,” he says holding up a piece of parchment.

“Oh that’s nice,” she says actually smiling. “How’s she and Tennant doing?”

“Not sure on BST, but she and her Grandpa are having fun on vacation.”

“Well that’s lovely,” Twilight says patting the dragon’s head. “I’m glad you two are keeping contact,” she says trollishly.

“I-Uh-Of course, why wouldn’t I stay in contact with a good friend?” Spike says with a blush while Twilight smirks.

“Uh-Huh, just hope that BST doesn’t have one of his usual fits,” she says as they both chuckle.

Down With Chrysallis’s Comment

“ACHOO!” you suddenly sneeze.

“Bless you,” Gloriosa says.

“Thanks,” you say as you rub your nose.

I feel a large amount of misplaced anger right now for some reason…

“But anyway, to answer your question, No I’m not going to do anything weird to you, I just want to make sure the monkeys didn’t get you too badly. The last thing I need is you getting sick.”

“…Alright,” you nod. “I’ll take your word on it for now.”

"Very well then. Let’s get this shirt off of you and see if we have any deep cuts or not.”

Not really paying attention due to the pain and exhaustion you nod your head and let the women get to work.

Uh Bugze...I do not think it would be wise for her to unclothe you, Selena says nervously.

Why? She needs to dress my injuries and all that. What's the worst that can happen?

Surprisingly its Sombra who answers that prophetic phrase.

I feel as if you've forgotten your battle scars.

What about them? You quirk your eyebrow. Sure they aren't exactly good to look out but I doubt that means anythi-

*Clunk*

Stopping you mid thought is the sound of something falling to the floor. Looking up you see that Gloriosa has dropped the medical kit. Confused, you look up at her face and see the absolute look of pure horror on her face.

It takes you a few moments, and the air on your chest, for you to realize why she is so horrified.

Oh crapbaskets, you think as you look down at yourself.

Puzzling Frost’s Comment

Your scar you received from the other Cadence is very much evident on your human chest as it practically covers two thirds of it. The wound has long since healed, however with how severe it was the damage is still evident. Plus the damage from removing Chrysalis’s Throne Piece doesn’t help the picture either. The wound, having been cauterized, left a nasty burn in conjunction with the sword scar.

Needless to say, it looks like you were stabbed by a massive blade, then had a large part of your upper chest blown off by dynamite.

What the buck? It didn’t look nearly as bad back in Equestria! You mentally panic.

You had chitin back home, this body doesn’t have the equivalent, Selena points out.

Stupid weak fleshy human body! You chastise as Gloriosa looks all over your scars, on the verge of puking if the green in her face is anything to go by.

"I *gulp* see you've been through a lot." She says shakily. Before you could explain yourself another human with green hair steps through the door.

"Hey sis, I heard a noise and I thought you hurt yoursel-JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" the male shrieks looking over your chest.

“Timber!” Gloriosa chastises.

It's gonna be one of those days isn't it? You think mournfully as you slump against the chair back.

Yep. Selena sighs.

“I apologize for my brother Mr. Bugze,” Gloriosa says nervously.

“I-I’m sorry Mister,” the boy says in embarrassment. “I just didn’t expect it.”

“It’s OK,” you hand wave. “This isn’t the first time.”

Even though it is, you think.

“The truth is, I got these nasty scars by…uh…”

You fell down some stairs.

“I fell down some stairs…” They look at you incredulously after saying that. Even you feel off put by that lie.

“Really? Stairs?” Gloriosa asks.

“…Yes. They were really big stairs,” you double down on the lie causing them to look at each other.

“But enough about stairs and some weirdoes’ unhealthy obsession with them,” you say thinking of the chuckling Umbrum, “How bad did the monkeys get me?” Gloriosa and Timber then look to your fresher cuts.

“R-Right, I’m sorry,” she says as she picks back up the med kit, and Timber’s eyes enlighten.

“Oh, another Preserve attack?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “How often do these occur?”

“More than think, but less than you’d hope,” he shrugs. “By the way, I’m Timber Spruce.”

“Nice to meetcha,” you say absently as you watch Gloriosa tend to your bites and scratches. After awhile, she looks back up to you and says,

“Well, they didn’t get you too deep to need stitches, so that’s a good sign. All you need is a shower and some bandages and some rest and you’ll be right as rain.”

“Thank you again,” you nod as you head into the bathroom and wash all the grime and whatever evil forest things off your human body.

When you are done, there are an extra set of human clothes left out for you and you put them on gleefully. When you are redressed, you head back into the main room and see both humans waiting for you.

“Alright, now let’s get some bandages on those,” Gloriosa says as she starts wrapping your scratches and bites. While she does, Timber speaks to you.

“By the way, where were you headed before the monkeys got you mister?”

“I was looking for some place called Camp Everfree, but I got thrown off the horrible death trap bus and got lost in the woods.” They both look surprised by this.

“You were looking for Camp Everfree?” she asks.

“Yup.”

“Well your search is over, you’ve found it,” Timber says with a smirk.

“Wait, for real?” you ask and they both nod.

“Huh…well that’s pretty convenient.”

Aside from the killer monkey thing, Selena snarks.

Yeah, aside from that.

“If I may ask, why were you looking for our Camp Bugze?” Gloriosa asks as she finishes your bandages.

“Well, uh…I’m looking for the nearby lake. Heard there was a monster there that might have some magical ancient artifact,” you say truthfully.

Why would you admit that?

Because they live near the dang thing, and if anyone would know more it’s them?

…Logical, but incredibly blunt, she says with a sigh.

Although your words do appear to have an effect. Gloriosa’s eyes widen to nearly dinner plates for some reason, and Timber for some reason seems mischievous.

“Oh, another gloryhound monster hunter huh?” he says with a smirk.

“Another?” you ask confused.

“Yeah, it’s not unheard of that you bigfoot hunter types come looking to find the legendary Gaea Everfree,” he admits.

“Timber…” Gloriosa whispers in a somewhat nervous scolding voice for some reason, but you kind of ignore that as a smile lights your face.

Well now we’re getting somewhere.

“Actually I don’t know much, can you tell me more?” you inquire and the boy smiles even wider while Gloriosa frowns.

The boy then starts telling you the Legend of the Everfree (HAH!)

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Yes, the pun was intended.

Hey Hive Mind,

Looks like it’s time for more misinformation on Bugze’s quest. Surely an ancient magical forest godess is a Siren right?

See you on the battlefield,

Brown Dog.

Episode 15: A Fishing We Will Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

After Timber finishes relating the legend to you, you and the two other voices in your head begin to discuss about it. And once again you act surprisingly more logical and rational than you normally do.

Hmmmm, Gaea Everfree...that name ring any bells with you two?

If this spirit existed it was after my defeat at the hooves of the two sisters.

I have no memory of this creature either, nor do I recall a legend such as this with the Everfree back home.

Me neither, so either this Gaea is just from this world...

Or she is simply a local legend to give campers a scare as they visit the camp.

Either way this legend was a waste of time. We came here for signs of the Sirens, not some urban myth.

Ignoring Sombra's heated tone you instead hum in thought, catching the attention of the two humans in front of you. Gloriosa looks rather nervous before saying,

"Please ignore my brother’s silly legends, there really isn't any pro-" You stand up, interrupting the woman.

"Actually, I think there is."

This catch's the attention of everyone, those in your head and not, as a collective "What" echoes around the cabin. Ignoring this you begin to pace and hypothesize.

"So this Gaea lady threatened to destroy the camp for destroying part of her forest to make it right?" Timber nods his head at this before you continue, "And those lake monster sightings have only been happening after the camp’s construction began, am I right?”

Where exactly are you going with this Bugze?

"Well...I mean…” Gloriosa stammers, “Yes the sightings have happened more frequently since the camp was built, but-"

"If that's the case, then couldn't this lake monster actually be...?” You leave the sentence hanging as you wait for the others to realize what you have. A few moments pass before Timber's eyes widen in understanding.

"Wait, you don't mean that the lake monster is-"

"A minion of this Gaea lady? Yes! It’s the most logical conclusion!"

Shocked silence hangs in the air for a moment as this revelation is said, until you hear Selena face hoof hard and groan.

What? You ask in confusion.

THAT’S the most logical conclusion? Wouldn’t it make more sense to suggest this Gaea IS the lake monster? She says in exasperation.

Please, you hand wave, that’s way too obvious. The stories Jack told about the sirens said they were a threat sure, but this Gaea lady can control the whole freaking forest. That’s clearly more powerful than some fish lady, so she’d be the big dog in town.

…I would be more impressed if it weren't for the fact you came to this conclusion from watching far too many films. I knew this new intelligence of yours would only be temporary. And like that your confident mood shatters.

Well...thanks for ruining the moment Selena, you think with a slump.

“I don’t know,” Timber says aloud, “That seems like a jump in logic to me. I thought you were thinking that Gaea WAS the lake monster,” Timber speaks up.

You see? Selena says haughtily.

MY REASONING MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!You challenge, before staring the human male in the eye.

“Well whatever the case, they’re clearly connected,” you tell him before a brilliant idea pops into your head.

8BitMadness’s Comment

"Say, what's the strongest fishing line you have?" you ask

"Uh, I think we have some rated for deep sea fishing, why?" Timber replies. You catch Gloriosa giving Timber a menacing look, probably for continuing to enable you.

"Why?" You start. "Simple, we're gonna catch whatever is in that lake and draw out Gaea herself!

Bugze, that's THE stupidest idea I've ever heard come out of your mouth in the last few hours. Where did all that confident forward thinking from a week ago go?

Actually, I like this plan, as stupid as it seems. Sounds like it will lead to violence.

Whatever is in that lake is our best chance at getting a lead on the sirens, and that's if it’s not one of the sirens itself, surely underwater creatures got dirt on other underwater creatures. This is our best bet to figure out where they are. We can’t let an opportunity like this slip, Selena! After all, the entire purpose of this mission is to get you a body! You point out.

Bugze, I understand this entirely, but this is risky. Calling out this Gaea entity in this form is suicide. If you die, I die, she says in worry.

Hey, don't forget me! Sombra butts in.

Yeah, but we don't care about you whatsoever, she says coldly.

Ow, that comment stung!He responds sarcastically.

Okay you two, settle down! If this keeps up I'll look weird in front of these humans. Just don’t worry about it, I’m not going to die from some druidic hippie goddess.

Gloriosa looks at you with a slack jaw and dead eyes, while Timber seems to be vibrating with an unknown level of excitement.

"That has to be the dumb-"

"BEST IDEA EVER!" Gloriosa begins to comment, before being cut off by Timber.

"I'll go get the line and our best pole. We're catching ourselves a lake monster!" Timber continues, running off with a manic grin on his face.

“Timber!” she calls out after her sibling, before turning back to you, her earlier cheerfulness all but gone.

“Uhh, what’s wrong?” you say trepidly.

“…Nothing,” she badly lies. “I just don’t like him getting so caught up in these games,” she huffs.

“Hey, it’s a free country, “ you shrug before stopping. “I would assume…?”

“What?”

“What?” you respond back.

You two stare at each other for a good few seconds in silence before she takes a deep breath, sighs, and puts on a false smile.

“Mr. Bugze, I know you had a rough night, so wouldn’t you rather relax and get some sl-“

“Yo! I got the gear!” Timber shouts triumphantly from the entrance, holding a large fishing pole and a tackle box.

“Buck Yeah!” you cheer and stand up, your drowsiness drowned out by adrenaline. “Let’s go fishing!!!”

“But I-“ Gloriosa starts, but you are already out the door with the green haired human, running full speed towards the lake.

Kichi’s Comment

After leading you to the furthest protruding shoreline on the lake, you hold aloft the deep sea fishing pole, ready to cast.

Alright, let's see if all those boring days fishing with Grandbuggy did something, you think as you try to remember any techniques…but you blank completely.

What the buck?! I know I went fishing with him. He took me all the time even when I didn’t want to, you grumble.

Were you even paying attention back then? Selena asks.

Hmmm, now that I think about it, this was back in middle school and the only things on my mind at the time were video games and how good Chrysalis was starting to look.

Say what now?

“NOTHING!!!” you yell aloud startling the human next to you.

“What? What’s up?” he asks.

“Nothing! I just said that!” you snap as you tightly grasp the pole in your alien hands.

“You alright?” Timber asks. “Your knuckles are white as bone.”

“I don’t want to lose this stupid pole is all. Still not used to stupid humie fingers,” you explain.

“Huh?” he says confused.

“Nothing! Here I Go!!!” you shout as you raise the pole and wildly fling it around like a lasso before casting it out into the lake.

“That’s, uh…an interesting form?” Timber says unsurely.

“Indeed it is Thunder,” you nod.

“Timber,” he corrects.

“Whatever ‘er’ name,” you roll your eyes as all of a sudden you feel drag on the line. “OH, I think I’ve got something!” You excitedly reel in the line, which feels really weird with fingers, and you look upon your prize…a human’s left boot.

“That’s...not what I was going for,” you admit as you toss the waterlogged footwear onto the ground and toss your line back out.

A little while later, you reel in yet another catch. Another left boot.

“Again?!” you groan.

You cast out your line again and again and again, but after an hour the only thing you’ve caught are seven left boots.

“Why? Why is it only left boots?”

Because you are horrendous at fishing, Sombra mocks.

I'm just a little rusty, I will get the monster soon, you groan as you keep casting your line in determination.

GreyRebl’s Comment

“You are crazy persistent,” Timber says sitting on a log next to yours, the both of you looking out into the lake next to an even bigger stack of left boots. “You know that, right? After so many false catches, I’m surprised you’re still willing to give it a go.”

Listless as you are, what with focusing your all into the task at hoof-er, hand, you barely pay him any mind. Your eyes are growing heavy and dark, and your limbs sag from exhaustion, reminding you that you haven’t even slept since yesterday, but knowing your own luck, the instant you fall asleep, something will ruin your night anyway.

“You’re an eccentric yourself,” you mutter. “We’re fishing out a bucking lake monster for crying out loud, so what are you so gungho for?”

“Hah!” Timber smirks, adjusting the wire of his fishing rod with a tug. After watching you pull out nothing but boots, he decided to give you a hand. “I’d never turn down a monster hunt. Bit of a fanatic myself. When you get to know this neck of the woods like I do, maybe you’ll understand. I’ve been around here since I was small, and Gloriosa’s the same.”

You hum for a bit. For the first time in hours, you relax your gaze on the water where the fishing bob floats. Tilting your eyes up, you begin to see a much, much wider picture of the lake. The lake, ever extensive in all directions, glistens with shades of orange and deep violet under the evening light, and, although you don’t usually care to notice, it’s a beautiful sight.

“...must be nice with all that view,” you say.

“Heheh. Yeaaah…” Timber trails off, and you notice his expression wane. “Growing up, I thought so too. But see it enough times, and even a place as awesome as this loses its magic.”

You lift your head at that last word.

“‘Magic’?”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Timber licks his lips, rolling the reel of his fishing rod. “I love this place to bits. But I always wanted to believe that, well…” He gave a shrug. “That there’s more to it.”

You blink. “You mean you want more excitement in this place?”

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “This place is exciting enough as it is. We’ve got the reserve nearby, and you know how that goes.” When he gives you a meaningful nod, you realize what he means and sulk with a resounding groan.

“Don’t remind me. Freaking monkeys…”

“Look, man. I’m just saying that the Everfree Forest deserves a little mystery to spice things up once in a while.” He smiles. “Besides. It’s fun.”

Suddenly, a voice from behind breaks the conversation.

“You boys are still at it?” Timber lights up with a grin and turns around.

“Gloriosa! Here to join us?” Gloriosa rolls her eyes, brushing aside a strand of raspberry hair.

“With your shenanigans, no. Even if it’s just fishing, I would have stopped hours ago.”

“Meh.” You greet her with a simple nod. “I plan to keep on going, actually.”

Gloriosa’s brows furrows.

“That...doesn’t sound healthy.” As she goes to sit on one of the logs, her gaze trails toward the side at the obscene amount of musky boots laid in a pile. She winces, her nose wrinkling. “I… Just can’t believe it. I know they turn up once in a while, but just how bad is your luck?” A shudder runs through you.

“Oh, more than you’ll ever know…” you mutter darkly. None of the siblings hear your words, but they see the deep grimace on your face.

The two share a glance. Then, with an enlightened clap of her hands, Gloriosa fishes into her bag, saying,

“I know something that could cheer you up!” One by one, she pulls out a series of items, all enclosed in fancy, plastic wrapping. Marshmallows, chocolate bars, graham crackers. She holds them up with a gentle smile on her face. “Who’s up for some smores~?”

“Oh, sweet!” Timber practically jumps from his seat. “I’ll start the fire! Even got the wood in place.” Laying down the fishing rod, he begins to pat around his pockets. “Now where the heck did I put my lighter?”

You make a show of clearing your throat.

“Please.” With a cheeky, little grin, you pull out a certain, charred hoverboard from your bag. “Allow me.”

The siblings eye your hoverboard, following it as you hold it over the campfire circle.

“Let there be fiyah!” you yell as you smash the stupid thing onto the wood.

Wroof!

The hoverboard lights up in flame, catching the pile on fire along with it! When the camp fire’s toasty enough to your liking, you pull the burning hoverboard away to dip it into the lake where the fire fizzles out. After you shake off the water, you slip the hoverboard back into your bag and then continue fishing as if everything is totally normal.

Timber and Gloriosa stare, completely slack-jawed.

“W-wha…” Timber stammers, “Just… How…?”

“The Buck if I know,” you shrug and watch your line.

After a long while of questioning all they know of physics and science, the siblings shrug and start preparing the tasty treats.

You know, so far most humans I’ve met are ugly terrible gross things…you ponder.

And now you think otherwise? Selena asks.

Oh no, I still think they’re all ugly gross things…but Timber and Gloriosa are alright and not entirely terrible.

You are hopeless, Sombra sighs, sounding disappointed.

And you’re a humie fanatic. That show is for little fillies, you chide.

The human mythologies were around far before that wonderful show cockroach! They were her favorite tales…he trails off in remembrance.

Oh… you think awkwardly, remembering the information Nightshade told you about Sombra and his old friend Radiant Hope. Specifically how it all ended.

I…uh…I mean, I guess human…clothes are good? You venture, which causes him to sigh.

Do not patronize me, he grumbles.

Wow…sore subject huh? You say to Selena.

That’s an understatement, she agrees.

Puzzling Frost’s Comment

Kersey’s Comment

Darkinfinity666’s Comment

Wanting a distraction from that awkwardness, you accept a smore from Gloriosa and think about your doppelganger.

I Wonder what B2 is up to right now.

Probably something idiotic, Sombra mocks on cue.

“Oi have a little more faith in the other me! He can handle himself.”

I don’t know about that my bug. He does not seem as mature as you, and that’s saying a lot Selena says in worry.

I’m sure he’s fine, you say in confidence.

We find B2 after hours at school trying to peel some gum off the floor to no avail, while listening to his “brand new” Walkman, blaring out classic tunes.

“Fire! I’ll take you to burn!” he sings vindictively as he brings the lit up blowtorch towards the floor. He stops as a voice interrupts him.

“Uh isn’t that a little excessive Mr. Bugze?” he stops and looks towards the voices owner, seeing a violet girl with the glasses that Bugze told him about.

“Actually according to my guide book it’s standard procedure.” He says pulling out a book that says Now You’re Cooking With Gas.

“Okay...well I’m not one to go against a book but did you at least try to peel it off with a paper towel first?” B2 thinks for a moment at that idea. The mop didn’t work, nor the broom, or the jack hammer, or the axe, or the rusty spoon, so could a simple paper towel work? Shrugging, he turns off the torch, grabs a paper towel off of his cart and tries her method. Surprisingly it works.

“Are you kidding me?! I’ve been here for three hours trying to get rid of this thing!” He facepalms realizing he could have left for home when all the rest of the students did. As he tosses the offending mouth rubber into the trash he realizes how strange it is that he’s not the only one still around.

“By the way, why are you still here after school Twinkle?”

“It’s Twilight,” she corrects.

“Whatever “Twi” name,” he hand waves and waits for her answer.

“Oh, well, I actually use the lab a lot here for it’s free resources. I have many personal projects that I work on that I can’t at home.”

“Ohhh,” B2 says knowingly with a smug smile, “Working on revenge pranking like Bugz-errr, I told you about huh?” She smiles nervously and rubs the back of her neck.

“Kind of, actually,” she admits.

“Oh come on then, spill,” he begs.

“Well…The three from the other day are going to that new haunted house with all the animatronic jumpscares in a few nights.”

“Oh yeah, Fazbear’s Fright. I considered working for them before I got this gig. Sounds creepy.”

“Exactly. I’ve been working on a remote hacking device to manipulate the robots and maybe give them more than what they’re paying for,” she insinuates. B2 strokes his beard in contemplation before smiling and clapping Twilight on the shoulder.

“I like your moxy kid. Robot vengeance is best vengeance.

“Really? You don’t think it’s a bit much?” she asks feeling validated.

“Of course not. Now go on and finish that controller thing. Seize Your Destiny!” he commands, which causes the impressionable teenage girl to double down on her plans as she nods and runs back to her lab with gusto.

“Huh. What a nice kid. Now to see how many pounds of frozen tater tots I can steal from the cafeteria…”

Why do I have a sudden sense of dread?

Probably because your food’s on fire Sombra deadpans.

Ah, good point, you nod as you blow out your flaming marshmallow.

After a few more smores, the siblings look up at the night sky and see how late it is.

“We should probably be getting to bed,” Timber says with a yawn.

“Yes. Would you like a cot to sleep in Mr. Bugze?” Gloriosa offers.

“No thanks, I’m good where I am,” you decline causing her to purse her lips.

“Oh come on Bugze, the lake’s not going anywhere, it will be here tomorrow,” Timber points out.

“Yeah, but monsters like to come out at night, everyling knows that. If I go to bed now, I’ll miss out on my chance to get my magic stones,” you say as you toss the line back into the water.

RandomFastReader’s Comment

Behind you, a clutter of items falls to the ground.

“Whoa sis, watch those butterfingers of yours,” Timber chuckles. You turn around to see Gloriosa having dropped all the smores ingredients which Timber is picking up. She is looking at you, mouth agape, in surprise and shock.

“Wh-What did you just say?” she stutters.

“I said I have to stay up as long as I can. Catching this monster quick will lead me to what I’m looking for,” you shrug.

“Y-You said something about Magic stones?” she says causing your eyes to widen.

Crapbaskets, did I?

Yes you did,Selena berates.

Buck! Guess I am more tired than I thought.

“N-No. I said…Hammock Bones…” you lie unconvincingly.

“Hammock Bones?” she says not convinced.

“…Yes. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it,” you say as you quickly turn around and look at the water. You feel as though she is staring a hole into your back, but you don’t turn around. After a few seconds, Timber speaks up.

“Come on Sis, let him have his fun, he ain’t hurting anyone. Good night Mr. Bugze,” Timber says.

“Night Wilber,” you say.

“It’s Ti…Never mind,” you then hear his footsteps leading off. Eventually, you hear Gloriosa say,

“Good night Mr. Bugze…” in a tense voice.

Once her footsteps have retreated, you let out a sigh of relief.

Oh Thank Luna. I almost blew it there in front of the humans.

You did blow it, now they think something’s up, Selena points out.

OK, but I didn’t mess up TOO badly. They only think I’m eccentric, not insane. They have no cause to tie me down in a dark room or anything.

Not yet they don’t, Selena sighs. But they are right Bugze, you do need rest.

I’m fine. I meant what I said, I can’t waste any time. I’ll stay up a few more hours and catch this stupid thing.

You are snoring like a chainsaw against with your back bent around the log and your feet in the air. Surprisingly, the fishing pole is still in your hands. You are jerked back to the waking world though, when the pole is tugged on hard.

“ZZZZ-Wha’s Huh?!” you babble as you reawaken and see your pole nearly bent in half.

“Ha HA! I knew it! This is it guys!” you shout as you tighten your grip and try to reel in the line. “I swear if it’s just another boot I’m gonna…gonna…” you trail off as an ethereal glowing light makes it’s way from out of the dark water. A large human like figure emerges from the glow, and as your jaw drops, so do your hands, and your fishing pole is yanked into the water by the figure.

“HOLY BUCK!!!” you scream aloud and scramble backward. The figure begins floating towards the shore getting closer and closer to you. “Gaea Everfree IS the Lake Monster!!!”

“Leave…My…Woods…” the eery female monster demands sending chills up your spine.

Bugze run! I can feel that thing’s energy! Selena shouts.

What?! You think in shock.

I can feel it too roach, run now! Sombra agrees.

But I-

“Leave…My…Woods!” the nature spirit demands again, louder as she steps onto the shoreline, and you get a better look at her. It has vibrant blue green hair, skin that looks made out of bark and other flora, and her sinister smile spooks the Tartarus out of you.

“I-I…No I can’t!” you say to the monster. “I came all this way just to talk to you.”

The figure looks taken aback for a moment, so you continue.

“Look, I see that you’re a busy plant thing, and I’ve got no beef with you. I just want to know if you’ve seen any sirens or anything in the last thousand years or so? I’m kind of looking for some stones and-“

“LEAVE! MY! WOODS!!!” she shouts as she darts in front of you, her form towering over yours. Only now do you feel what Selena and Sombra did. The sheer power. There is magic in this world, and now it might kill you.

You panic as the monster you sought out glares at you with her glowing eyes. You should run, you should hide, you should beg for forgiveness and mercy, but you don’t do any of these things, your mind is too frightened. So instead, you do what you do best...

Zapper frost’s Comment

Gorgeous Freeman’s Comment

Something incredibly risky and stupid.

“FALCON PUNCH!!!”

*CRACK*

“OOOHHHH!!! Son of a Bitch! You punched me in the nose!!!” Gaea Everfree cries out as she cups both hands over her face in pain.

You stand before her as she crouches and curses and cups her injured face, with your outstretched clenched fist in both shock and awe.

I…I can’t believe that actually worked, Selena says flabbergasted.

YOU can’t believe it? I just punched an alien god in the face…Why did I do that?! You mentally panic.

…I can’t believe we’re not dead right now.

Oh we’ll have plenty of chances I’m sure, you think as you watch as the forest sprit falls to her knees by the water’s edge.

“Oh God I’m bleeding!” she groans as she starts splashing water onto her face. As she does, you notice that on her wrist, there are five different colored objects. Five Colored Stones.

Holy…I’ve found them!

Bugze I don’t think those are- ignoring Selena’s wisdom, you rush forth to the grumbling goddess.

“Oh if this is broken I’m gonna-HEY!!!” she shouts as you pluck the purple stone from around her wrist.

“I ONLY NEED ONE! KAY, THANKS BYE!!!” you yell as you run off with what is surely a Siren Stone.

“GIVE THAT BACK!!!” the spirit shouts in anger.

You have now stolen a magic stone from a pissed off forest godess that you sucker punched.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

In Horror Movies, Nobody ever throws the first punch against the monster/killer, but it appears Bugze once again breaks the mold.

Hi Hive Mind,
That's right, a pissed off lady with poison ivy type powers is on Bug Boy's tale. Fight, Run, or Both? You Decide.

As always remember that there is no killing, and to otherwise go nuts.

Anyway, with that I have another announcement.

I'll be on vacation on Saturday the 19th for over a week due to the Phoenix Comic Con, and more than likely won't be posting the next chapter till after I'm done. I hope you all understand.

Anyway, I'll see you on the Battlefield Hive Mind,
Brown Dog.

Episode 16: Frustrating the Spirit of the Everfree

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Zapper frost’s Comment

You run like the freaking wind on your weirdly bent human legs from the lake and it’s pissed off goddess, screaming the whole time.

“I SWEAR IT’S FOR A GOOD CAUSE! PLEASE DON’T FOLLOW FURTHER CRAZY LAKE AND FORREST LADY!!!”

“GET BACK HERE!!!” is the only response you get from the entity you punched in the nose.

“EEEEEE!!!” you shriek as you enter the trees and start weaving in and out of them.

You hear the snapping of twigs further back as you sense Gaea chasing you.

Quick Selly! Use your mind manipulation powers on her!

What? Selena says in confusion, but you don’t explain as you turn around and point your finger at the plant lady.

Kichi’s Comment

"You didn’t see anything! You broke your own nose!" you yell, hoping the Jedi mind trick works. Guess What? It doesn’t.

“What are you talking about?! Of Course You Did!” she shouts back.

"Crap, why didn’t that work?" you shriek and dodge around a big tree.

Oh I don’t know, maybe because I don’t have mind manipulation powers outside of the dream realm? Selena smarms.

I could have sworn we did!

I can manipulate one’s fears, but I require dark magic and crystals which are sorely lacking in this world, Sombra says matter of factly.

"Oh yeah…” you mutter as you jump over a log and immediately lose your balance on something slimy on the floor.

“Whoa, whoa, AAHH! OOOMPH!!!” you yelp as you fall to the ground.

“Ugh, what was that?” you say as you look down at your shoe and see it covered in something dark and smelly. Your eyes bulge out of your head as you remember the night before.

Oh Buck No!

You look up to the trees above you and see several crouched forms with glowing eyes.

As if that’s their cue, the filthy creatures begin hooting as several jump at you, grabbing at your hair and clothing with their claws.

“AAAHHH!!! STUPID MONKEYS! GET THE BUCK OFF OF ME!!!” you shriek as you scramble to your feet, throwing several of the primates off of you. They then begin throwing their poo at you, and just like last night, you know they’re aiming for your eyes deliberately.

“Oh You Little Buckers! If it weren’t for humans, you’d be my most hated things with opposable thumbs!” you yell as you run out of the edge of their territory…only to run face to face with Gaea Everfree.

“There you are!” she yells.

“AH!” you yelp and back up into a hard flat surface, which turns out to be one of the cabins.

I ran in a circle?! Crap, I AM bad at directions!

“Give me back my stone you miserable wretch!” she demands as she advances on you.

“Buck You Lady Luck! Even in this other world you screw me over!” you yell to the heavens, which momentarily confuses the forest monster.

“Huh? I’m not- I’m Gaea Everfree!”

“I know!” you yell back in fear.

OK, Options guys! What the buck do I do?

Run! Obviously! Selena instructs.

Can’t, Monkeys!

Punch her again, Sombra suggests.

I caught her off guard last time, she’ll be expecting it!

Well Do Something instead of just shaking Bugze! Selena yells.

Right! I…Uh…

As you look around, on a wood pile next to the cabin, you spy an avian form.

Gorgeous Freeman’s Comment

Baraka Obama’s Comment

Aha! The Joto region be praised! You think in delight as you reach over to what your panicked mind assures you is a legitimate Pokemon.

“Now, give me the stone now or I’ll-“ Gaea begins, but you interrupt her with a shout of,

“Pidgeoto, I choose you!!!” and throw the “Pokemon” at her.

The projectile hits her in the face with a squeak, revealing your Pocket Monster to be nothing more than a rubber chicken.

“WAH!” To your surprise, the suddenness of it actually manages to startle her and cause her to fall backwards.

Seeing your opening, you run in the only direction you can, right over her. In doing so, your foot stomps right on her stomach, causing her to gasp, but you keep running in a direction decidedly not towards the monkeys.

“Sorry! Keep the Chicken!” you yell back.

From behind, you hear her grunt and get to her feet and throw the squeaky toy the ground with a grunt of,

“Damn it Timber, you and your stupid toys!”

Oh Right! Timber and Gloriosa! You think in worry. I gotta warn them!

“TIMBER! GLORIOSA! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE’S REAL!!!” you shout back towards the cabins.

“No, SHH! Be quiet!” Gaea tries to silence you, but you keep shouting.

“Run for the hills! Run for your li-“

“I Said Shut Up!!!” Everfree yells as she sends a wave of vines out at you, which you dodge, falling to the ground.

“Holy Buck that was close!” you shout as you start running again, while Sombra offers counter arguments.

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

I still say we should attack instead of flee. We did learn one thing from your idiotic actions actions, she can bleed. If it can bleed, we can kill it.

WE ARE NOT KILLING THE CRAZY FOREST SPIRIT!!! WITH MY LUCK THAT'LL JUST GIVE HER A RESPAW-

*Crash*

While you were responding to Sombra you didn't notice an ivy wall suddenly spring up in front of you. This results in you slamming face first into it ala a cartoon. You dazedly push yourself off the wall as you think,

Ugh, who put that wall the-uh oh.

You can feel the spirits presence behind you.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

Evasive maneuvers! Sombra screams as Everfree barrels towards you , riding a wave of twisting vines.

A little late for that Simba!

Suddenly, several vines come out of the wall and wrap around your weak squishy human limbs and you raise up. With nowhere to go, she dismounts her vines and steps up to you, a glint of anger in her eye.

Whelp. We're dead. Sombra resigns himself.

Of bucking course, You agree. Selena, do you mind posing on a soft cotton bed in lingerie as my last image before I d-

Buck Off! You’re Not Dead Yet! Selena shouts in embarrassment and worry.

You would think the contrary as the she demon invades your personal space.

“Now, you little pest. Give back my stone or I swear I’ll-“

"AH! PLEASEDON'TKILLMEI'MSTILLAVIRGIN!" You shout out in panic and shut your eyes. Gaea's angry gaze turns to one of surprise.

"W-what? Ki-no! Why would you think I'd kill you?!" She exclaims in indignation, causing you to peek open your eyelids.

"Uh... because you're the supercharged magic alien monster forest spirit lady and I just straight up punched you in the face?" You offer.

She looks at you in deadpan, touches under her bloody nose again to look at the blood on her finger, and then looks back down at you. "Okay, yeah, I'm still angry about that, And I'm ticked off that you took one of my stones. Give that back by the way-,” one of the vines attempts to open your closed fist.

“No, Never! I need this for somepony I care for! You’ll have to pry it from my cold dead human pointers!”

“Look I’m not gonna, just give me the stone already, it’s mine! You can’t even begin to comprehend it’s power.”

“It’s magic, what more do I have to comprehend? I’m not giving it up!”

WAR GAMES’ Comment

You then deftly pull the taser out of the inventory and shock the vines holding your wrists, which sends a current back towards Everfree.

“BBBZZZZTTTT” she stutters as electricity courses through. As she does, the vines holding you release and you fall backward on to the ground. With the taser no longer hitting her, she stops shaking and smoke billows out of the top of her head. She pants and gives you the biggest look of hatred you’ve seen in months.

“Ummm…Blame a guy for trying?” you stutter nervously.

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

She grits her teeth and growls rapidly at you as her eyes glow.

“Alright, you know what? Fine! I just wanted you gone, but you chose to be difficult!” she grunts losing her cool. “The spooky spirit act doesn’t work for you? How about more supervillain huh? Will that make you cooperate!!!” she yells as more vines surround you.

Oh boy, I’ve done it now, you shudder.

No Spit Sherlock! Selena says nervously.

“You want the maniacal killer monster act? How’s this?!”

Her voice then begins to echo as she uses something akin to the RCV

"You fool! You dare take one of my stones! You can't even begin to understand their power! With all six all I have to do is snap my fingers and I can wipe off half a town's population in one go! Now give me the stone and I might consider sparing your life!"

She then looks to you, assuming you’ve been cowed, but you can feel your panic leave you at her words, as it is slowly replaced with something. It's the same feeling you got from when human Filthy Rich started to bad mouth you, some form of repressed anger yet at the same time not.

This crazy chick thinks I'm giving this stone back after telling me that!? Put innocent lives at risk!?

So caught up in your thoughts you don't notice the stone in your hand actually...cracking. Nor do you notice some strange purple colored mist come from the stone and climb up your arm.

Bugze, something is- Selena is cut off as you suddenly relax, or appear to at least. You pull your hat down slightly as you let out one phrase with such a tone that the spirit shivers.

"Good Grief, you sure are something."

“W-What?” she says taken aback.

"So you want me to give you this stone? After telling me all that? You must be some special kind of dumb, huh?" you chide as you start walking towards her and her mass of vines.

The spirit actually begins to back away from you, but her attention isn't on you. It's on something… behind you? But you don't notice as you stop right in front of her and say,

"Now...let’s see if I still got what it takes to kick an evil spirit’s flank off!"

“Wh-What is that? Is that a horse behind you?” she sputters and points, throwing you off of your tangent.

“Huh?” you turn around to look but all you see is the disappearing whisps of something.

“What are you talking about?”

“There was a dark horse, I swear!”

“…Suuuure,” you say unbelievingly.

What in the world was that? Selena suddenly gasps in your mind.

She’s trying to throw me off my cool speech, that’s what.

No you idiot, something happened with me, there was- Selena is again cut off as the godess speaks again.

“Nevermind, look it’s late, we’ve all hurt each other, can you just give my rock back already?”

“No! You said you were gonna wipe out half a town with it!”

“I Said I COULD, not that I would!” she explains.

“Yeah, well I still don’t want to. I need this siren stone to make a body, possibly two!”

“Wha?” the demon gasps in pure bewilderment. “What are you going on about? Why are you so confusing?” she demands, her voice losing her echo.

“I don’t know, how else am I supposed to act with an evil plant goddess?”

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

“I’m, I…Ugh, why is this going so poorly?” she groans in frustration, facepalming.

“Hey, you know, when you’re not being all spooky and evil sounding, you sound familiar,” you point out, causing her eyes to widen.

“Uh, no I don’t!” she says quickly.

“Yeah you do…have we met before somewhere on the other side? I swear I know you’re voice…”

It's Gloriosa Daisy, Selena supplies in deadpan.

"GLORIOSA?!" You exclaim in surprise.

Her eyes widen in panic. "How did you- I mean- whooooo~ is this Gloriosa person you speak ooo~of? I~IIIII am Gaia Everfreeeeeeee~ Woo~ooooooo~." She attempts to hide her voice by making ghost noises. You have to admit that it's only slightly more creepy because of the blood on her face. Not by much though.

“What gives Daisy? I thought we were cool? We roasted marshmallows together,” you say, your voice filled with hurt.

“I SAID I’M NOT THIS GLORIOSA!” she says, her voice echoing again. “I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE EVERFREE AND-“

"GLORIOSA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AND WHY ARE YOU ALL BLOODY?!" A new voice calls out from behind her as Timber Spruce steps out of the cabins.

“I-I….Uh…” the woman begins to falter, so you take the initiative.

“Run Timber! Your Sister Was the Monster the Whole Time! She’s Going To Kill Half the Town!!!”

“WHAT?!” he bellows as you dive into him, knocking him through the nearest cabin door, and onto the ground dazed.

"TIMBER!!!" Gloriosa Everfree cries out in worry as you slam the door behind you and get off of the dazed human male.

"You'll Thank Me Later Kid! Start Barricading When You Get Your Wits About You!" you shout as you start dragging a dresser in front of the door.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Misunderstandings Galore!!!

Hey Hive Mind,
This is the Brown Dog, and I'd like to apologize for the lateness. As the last chapter said, I went on vacation before the chapter could be finished, but I've also been delayed these last few days further because the very next day after returning from vacation, I got slammed with back to back 12 and 14 hour shifts. Again, sorry for the delay, but some things are out of my control.

Anyway, have fun with the next chapter and I'll try to get it out much quicker than this one.

See you on the battlefield,

Brown Dog.

Episode 17: Boom Shakalaka!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Zapper frost’s Comment

ThePonySpartan’s Comment

As you rush over to a nearby dresser to put in front of the door, Timber groggily sits up with his eyes still spinning.

“Anyone get the number of that bus?” he says as he holds his head.

“AH! There’s a bus here too?!” you shriek and whip around, accidentally throwing a vase of flowers that hits Timber and causes him to groan more.

“Ohhhh,” he groans as he clutches his forehead. Thankfully, you see no metal carriage of stinky doom invading the cabin.

Oh Thank Luna, you breathe a sigh of relief. A killer goddess camp counselor I can deal with, but if even see a bus, I’m setting this whole place on fire!

I doubt it’d fit through the front door, Sombra remarks.

“Hey! Let Me In!!!” comes a cry from outside as Gloriosa bangs on the door.

AH! I spoke too soon!

“There’s noling here, just go away now,” you say halfheartedly as you pull a table in front of the door. Suddenly her face appears in the window.

“Stop moving stuff around! You’re scratching all the floors!” she angrily says, the dried blood still caked around her nose. She then notices her brother with the smashed vase all around him.

“What Did You Do To Timber?!!!”

“EEEP!” you shriek as you quickly put a mattress in front of the window, blocking her view.

“HEY!!!” she shrieks and starts banging on the glass. It’s then that you realize there are countless other windows around, so you turn to the dazed human on the floor.

“Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark,” Timber says as he shakes his head and looks to you. “Now Bugze can we calm down and-“

*SMACK*

You slap the teenager across the face to get his head in the game, which only serves to make him even more dizzy.

“No Time for idiotic things like calming down Timber! We gotta build more barricades!”

“Build?” he asks in his stupor.

“Yes, Build!” you repeat

“Alright! Build our fortress up!” he says groggily as he grabs the refrigerator and starts shimmying it.

“That’s the spirit!” you encourage. “Build it up like Marecraft!”

"No! Not like Minecraft, what are you, twelve?" He snaps back at you, not noticing you said Mare instead of Mine. "This is my Fortnite skills coming out!"

"...Fortnite?"

“Yeah, you know, it’s a battle royal type of game that…wait a minute, what am I doing?” he says with a shake of his head and stops pulling the fridge.

“Why are we tearing up the cabin?” he says, his head no longer foggy.

“Because we have to barricade ourselves before your evil sister snaps her fingers and wipes out the town! We can’t let her get this Siren Stone back!” you inform, showing him the purple stone.

“What? My sister would never do that!” he says in shock.

“She told me she could! She’s Gaea Everfree! She’s probably a descendant of the Sirens.”

How do you figure that Bugze? Selena asks.

Well duh, magic rocks granting powers? And as Smokey likes to point out, humans aren’t magical, so that means she’s got to have magic in her blood, so ergo, Siren descendant.

That’s…actually pretty logical, Selena says impressed.

I know right? And wait, if Gloriosa is a descendant, then so is…You eyes then widen as you make another deduction.

“Which means so are you…” you accuse the boy who looks beyond confused.

“Huh?”

“Oh Gods! If the Sirens got sent here thousands of years ago, they must have turned human as well and…Bred with the natives,” you gag at the implications.

“What are you talking about?” he demands.

“You and your sister are part evil fish horse, and now she’s fallen to the dark side and using your nifty family heirlooms,” You shout out your deductions.

“I…What?!” Gloriosa’s face then appears in the kitchen window.

“Timber! Stop him from wrecking the cabin!” she yells.

“No Timber! Don’t embrace the Dark Side!” you shout as knock into Timber, sprawling him on the floor as you rush to the window and pull down the shutters.

“OH COME ON!!!”

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

Master of Shadow’s Comment

“EEE, she’s getting desperate. Stupid magic in magicless world!”

You then rapidly grab anything and everything you can get your disgusting human hands on to shove in front of the door, the windows and the chimney of the cabin to prevent Gloriosa from getting in. You hear Timber groan and sit up behind you.

"Ugh, my head." He groans after suffering three consecutive head injuries courtesy of you.

"Timber! You’re a weird crime against nature hybrid, but you haven’t tried to kill me yet so that makes you cool in my book, so pull your own weight already so she doesn't kill us!" You call back at him without stopping your mad scramble to block the door.

"Ugh... Bugze, what?" He says in confusion at your actions.

"Come on! Don't make me do all the work! Both our lives are on the line here," You say to him rapidly, attempting to get his flank in gear.

You hear a crashing sound behind you, and you obviously conclude he’s following orders.

“Good, just like that. Make more loud noises!”

"Bugze..." He says again.

"Yeah, that's my name. Your name is Timber Spruce, and your sister's name is Gloriosa "Gaia Everfree" Daisy, who is also going to try to break through this door any second now so we should really start trying to make it so she can't by piling as much crud in front of the door as possible before she tries so HOP-TO-IT MAN!!!" You belt out, never stopping your task.

"Bugze." He repeats.

"Dude! Come on! She'll get us for sure if you don't help out! I don’t care if your great great something grandparent was an evil sea horse, we’re in this together!" You exclaim in panic.

"Bugze. There's a back door and Gloriosa's already inside." Timber deapans, causing you to freeze and turn your head around slowly to see that Gloriosa is indeed inside the cabin and standing there next to Timber with an equally deadpan expression on her bloody face.

“Timber you traitor! I take back what I said about you being cool!”

“Ahhh,” he groans in displeasure.

“Alright, enough of this nonsense!” Gloriosa booms. “Give me back my rock already!”

“No! You’ll kill us all!” you shriek back.

“OK! Both of you calm down!” Timber says stepping between the two of you. “Let’s have a rational discussion like normal human beings OK?!”

“I Am Not A Human Being! I Am A Changeling!!!” you shout in response as your eyes dart around for any way of escape.

Kichi’s Comment

Alright, all exits on this side are blocked because of me, and she’s blocking the backdoor with her stupid vines. There’s gotta be another exit!

Bugze, perhaps we should admit defeat and give her back the stone, Selena offers.

Never! We didn’t come this far in this crummy world to not get this stupid stone!

I have a solution, Sombra offers.

Not now! I need a plan, not some stupid thing about crystals or stairs... Wait, that’s it! I’ve figured out how to save us! You think in glee as you look to the wooden staircase next to the kitchen, while Sombra sighs.

“You’ll never take me alive Siren Spawn!” you yell as you sprint towards the staircase.

"Bugze, Wait! You can’t go up the stairs!” Timber warns.

“The Buck I can’t! Even with these stupid human knees I’ll-

*CRASH*

Your foot goes through the second step, causing you to fall forward, smacking your face into the crumpling wood.

“Oooohhh,” you groan as you push yourself up from the ruined staircase.

"I tried to tell you, the stairs needed to be repaired because of termites,” Timber finishes.

WARGAME’s Comment

8bitmadness’ Comment

“Of course they are! Why the buck not?! What could possibly go right for me tonight?!” you growl and face the Siren descendants.

“Those are going to cost even more to repair!” Gloriosa shouts dramatically. “We already don’t have enough for that Rich jerk, and now you’re adding more to the bills!”

“Gloriosa, calm down now,” Timber implores as he stands up. “This is all crazy, let’s all chill before we all get even more hurt.”

“Timber! He’s got one of the stones! They’re the only thing we got to keep this place from being turned into a stupid spa!” she shouts.

“I never liked this plan in the first place sis! Look at you, your nose is broken, and HE thinks you’re going to kill people!”

“I Was Trying to Scare Him Off! He came here specifically to get these,” she holds out her wrist where the other colored rocks are. “Or did your showboating not hear that at the lake?!”

“OH Here We Go Again!” Timber huffs in annoyance as the siblings bicker. You watch as they have a familial squabble, providing you an ample distraction in which to act.

You quickly open the Inventory and look for anything that could solve your problem. Inside, you see a familiar dark blue plush and you pause. After a moment of silence, you smack yourself for always forgetting one of your most useful tools.

“Oi! Sea Horse People!” you call out, causing them both to turn to you.

“Would You Kindly Take a Nap?!” you say as you hold aloft the Luna Plushie in all of it’s glory.

Alright, go night night already you pain in the-

“What are you doing?” Timber asks confused.

What?

“This is supposed to make you fall asleep!” you shout in anguish.

“Why would we do that because of a toy? Has everyone gone crazy?” he says flabbergasted. Meanwhile Gloriosa eyes the plushie in interest.

“That looks like the horse that was behind you…” she mutters, but you ignore her as you slam the plushie back into the inventory.

“UGH! Stupid Magicless World!!!” As you shout that, your hand brushes across your old friend, the Boomstick.

You’re probably useless here too, you think in anguish. If only I had a magic battery or something…Wait a minute!

“Look, I’ve had enough of this stupidity,” she growls and marches over to you. “Give me the-“

“LOOK A DISTRACTION!!!” you yell out, pointing behind her, and just like in Equestria, it works. Both Gloriosa and Timber look behind them as you yank two items out of your inventory. Lining up your shot, you throw the first item right at her face as she turns back around.

“There’s nothing th-*CRASH* AAAAHHHH!!!” she cries out as the bottle of pungent perfume human Diamond Tiara planted on you breaks over her face, dousing her in the liquid.

“AAAGGGH! My Eyes!” she cries as the liquid burns her.

“Gloriosa!” Timber cries out in concern. With them preoccupied, you turn to your last ditch effort,

Please work, please work!

You slot the purple stone near the red crystal of your boomstick. After a few heartbeats, it begins to glow with power, causing you to smile.

“Oh God, Timber! It Burns!”

“It’ll be alright Sis, let’s get you to the sink and-“

“Gloriosa, Timber, thanks for the night here, but I think I’ll be lodging elsewhere,” you say cheekily as you raise the Boom Stick above your head before striking the floor.

The familiar glorious impact of power races all around you, as the rotted staircase completely dissolves, the haphazardly stacked furniture is thrown wildly, and the siblings are thrown backwards into the walls of the cabin.

After a few seconds of everything returning to gravity, you pant and look to your Boomstick before giving it a kiss for such a good job.

Thank you old friend, I’ve missed you so much!

You used the stone as a conduit to power it…Bugze do you know what this means? She says excitedly.

That we’re not going to die tonight? You guess.

Well yes that, but we could possibly have access to all our magical items as long as we hold it. Not to mention whatever it did to me earlier.

What are you talking abo-

“Gloriosa!!!” Timber Spruce shrieks interrupting your inquiry as you see him cradling the head of the knocked out woman, whose guise is back to normal.

“Oh geeze, she’s not dead is she?” you ask in concern as he gives you a hurt look.

“No, she’s still breathing, but for God’s sake man, you beat her up badly,” he spits.

“It was self defense man! She was gonna mess me up if I didn’t-“

“She was acting tough moron! She’s not a killer!” he snaps.

“Well how could I have known that?! Your stories and her powers painted a very vivid picture! Besides, all I needed was One of the Siren Stones, and she flipped out even though she’s got more.”

“Ugh!” he groans as he gets a napkin and starts dabbing the crusted blood from her nose as she groans in her sleep. “I’m so sorry sis, I shouldn’t have let it get this far…” While he tends to his knocked out sister, you nervously cough into your fist to get his attention.

“OK, so, I’m just gonna go alright? I promise you’ll never see me again. You can keep the other stones, all I need is one and,”

“Just take the damn thing!” he growls. “Hell, take all of them if you want, they’ve caused nothing but trouble since she found them!”

“Found them?” you ask confused. “You mean these weren’t passed down through your family line?”

“What? No!” he says as if it’s obvious. “She found them in some cave and she got these stupid super powers that she couldn’t really control. I started making up an urban legend to…Look, I don’t care who you are, or how you knew about them, just take all seven of them and go!”

“Seven?...Wait a minute, weren’t there only three Sirens that got sent through?”

“What?” he asks deeply confused. Now that you’re not in mortal danger, you think back to the info Jack had given you.

Yeah that’s right, there were only three stones, one for each Siren, and they were all spherical and red. You look back to the stone crystal imbedded in your Boomstick. It’s not a sphere, and it is decidedly purple.

Wait, if these things aren’t Siren stones then…

Then they’re unconnected magical stones, Selena finishes for you.

What?! But how? I thought there wasn’t magic for humans! What gives Roomba?

Hey, the only info I have is the old legends and the show, don’t jump down my throat about it.

You’re supposed to be the expert Humie! If there’s magic here, then what does it mean?

Perhaps your earlier theory still holds water Bugze, Selena theorizes.

Huh?

Mayhaps, these humans are descended from the Sirens and the magic in their blood allowed them to utilize a magical artifact that no other human could.

But then why wouldn’t they know who the Sirens were? You point out.

It’s been 1,000 years my Bug, do you know your ancestors that well? There could be thousands of descendants, some with more magical aptitude than others,she instructs.

…Huh. Well if that’s the case then I just beat up some random human mare for no reason. Speaking of…

“OK, if your sister wasn’t evil and stuff, then what was the whole deal with her becoming Gaea? I still don’t get that part.”

“She got it in her head that if she could make a guardian spirit of the woods, then it would keep Filthy Rich from foreclosing on us. Right now that’s a moot point,” he says in melancholy.

“Wait, you know Filthy Rich too?”

“Know him? That jerk is the only reason we’re in this mess. If he hadn’t been so pushy on sis then…” he then brushes her hair away from her face as her breathing gets more steady.

“…She went for a Scooby Doo gambit because of that flankhole, and I ruined it,” you say as you come to the realization.

“It doesn’t matter now. The main cabin is busted up, we still haven’t repaired the dock, and-“

*KACHING*

The human stops his muttering as he stares at the bag of bits you’ve dropped in front of him, his mouth agape.

245 Bits Removed From the Inventory

45 Bits Remaining

“Look, I’m really sorry about beating up your sister and your camp site, I guess what I’m hunting for is completely unrelated,” you say apologetically.

He doesn’t answer as he still stares at the bits wide eyed.

“And since that was my bad, I’ll just leave that here as payment. That and to get out of debt of that stupid Human Rich who’s nothing like the real version! Apparently gold is really valuable in your world.”

Timber nods dumbly, his jaw hanging open.

“I’d still like to keep this stone though, kind of need any magical edge I can get in this stupid world. So…Yeah,” you rub the back of your neck. “Tell your sister I’m sorry about her nose OK?”

Timber just nods once more, not even looking at you.

“…OK, I guess I’ll be going then. Is there any paths out that don’t lead to monkeys?”

“F-F-Follow the signs on the paved road,” he stutters, his eyes gleaming.

“Right…well…Bye then,” you wave as you walk to the busted open door from your Boomstick. You pause once more in the doorframe and look back.

“And look, when I find a way back to Equestria, you guys would be welcome. I don’t know how much Sea Pony you still got in you, but it might be enough to bring your species back.” The boy still doesn’t look your way, and nods without hearing you. “…Thought I’d offer.”

You then make your way out into the night and down the road that is 100% monkey free, but it is still dark and you are exhausted.

Bugze, you just gave away almost all of our bits.

Yeah I know. I had to pay for what I’d done, and besides screw Human Filthy Rich.

I understand, but if we are going to be here long term, then we can’t go giving away such large sums.

Yeah, yeah I won’t, but this was a special case. The next Siren descendant I find though, I’ll do better.

I sincerely doubt that, Sombra heckles.

Oh Buck Off.

Next Siren Descendant? Selena asks.

Yeah, this venture wasn’t a total bust, now we know there are magic humans running around. Because of Timber and Gloriosa, we know that the Sirens did breed with the humans long ago, and if the stones were so important, there’s got to be at least one descendant that held onto them.

…Very astute observation. Of course we are making assumptions…but right now that’s the best plan of action we have.

Exactly, you smile smugly. But we’ll worry about that later, right now I just got to not pass out on this road and find a stinky death trap bus home to tell B2.

As if on cue, your magical phone thingy starts to ring. Fumbling with your sausage digits, you answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey clone of mine, how’s it going? Did you find the lake monster yet?” he asks curiously.

“…Yes and no…it’s kind of hard to explain. Suffice to say, my job in this world is far from over.”

“Oh, bummer dude. But hey, I got some good news on my end, we don’t have to take the bus anymore.”

“We don’t?!” you reply excitedly.

“Nope, with that cash you gave me I got us a used motorized scooter from that nice Sparkler girl.”

An image of Scootaloo’s scooter running on it’s own pops into your head and you raise an eyebrow, but you’d take anything over a bus.

“Does…does that mean you can come and get me?”

“…What, right now? It’s the middle of the night and I gotta get to work tomorrow, I just wanted to call and tell you the good news” he points out.

“Yeah, well I was swarmed by monkeys, fished out a pile of left boots, fought a plant goddess, and I haven’t slept in two days bucker,” you groan.

There is silence on the phone for a few seconds before he speaks again.

“So, you’ll be at the turn off point for Camp Everfree right?”

“Eventually,” you agree as you continue trodding down the road. “Now hurry up already, I’m tired of hijinks today.”

“So what hijinks are we getting up to today Grandbuggy?” you ask trepidly as the landscape whizzes by on the train.

“Hijinks?” he says with a guffaw. “We ain’t getting up to no hijinks kid, we’re getting into shenanigans. Very subtle difference.”

“OK…so what shenanigans are we doing today?” you ask in frustration.

“Ya don’t have to sound so sour kiddo. But in answer to your question, we’re headed to the rundown dump of a town where the greediest S.O.B.’s behind dragons reside so that we can start looking for the next artifact.”

“Yeah, yeah I get that. Go to Griffonstone to find the lost macguffin of whatever,” you dismiss and point to your tag along, “What I meant was, why is HE here? Won’t he mess things up for us?”

“I take offense to that Nina,” Ahuizotl huffs and crosses his arms in the seat next to you. “And besides, I don’t have much else to do until you’re done with my Ring of Scorchero and Steve rebuilds my temple.”

“But won’t ponies recognize you from the books and make our job harder?” you point out.

“Ha, the majority of ponies think I’m fictional thanks to that A.K. Yearling friend of Daring. Besides, Quick Fix is out of practice on artifact hunting, so I will lend you my aid.”

“You just wanted to come to pet the Griffons ya crazy cat fanatic,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes.

“That’s not the only reason! Besides, you’re the one that made me leave my kitties behind!”

“Buddy, ya can’t just pet a Griffon…not in public anyway,” Grandbuggy says smugly.

“What?! I have no interest in that!” Ahuizotl blushes.

“Yeah I know, wouldn’t want to be unfaithful to a certain adventurer would ya?” Grandbuggy trolls.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” he lies badly.

And while the two of them jape at each other back and forth, you look out the window and sigh as the train pulls to a stop at your destination.

“Yep, I can see it now. Definitely Shenanigans.” Mangle gives a mechanical screech of agreement.

“End of the Line,” the train stallion calls out. “Welcome to Griffonstone.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-nG9n_s4jI

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind,

Looks like Bugze’s still making the wrong conclusions, but at least he’s got something out of the misunderstandings. We’ll get back to him later though.

It’s time once again to follow Nightshade and Grandbuggy in their treasure hunting escapades. How will our temperamental filly, perverted old changeling, and their bumbling “villain” friend fare in the land of greedy jerkish griffons? Probably poorly if I’d have to guess .

Anyway, mind the time frame, have fun, and I’ll see you on the battlefield,

Brown Dog.

Episode 18: Griffon Hospitality

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTbB703XZFM

As you step off the train with Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl, you give a little shiver at the nippy air.

“You better put on your coat kid, it’s only gonna be colder at the top,” Grandbuggy instructs looking no worse for wear.

“How come you’re not shivering?” you ask as you pull on the traveling cloak Grandbuggy got you.

“Changeling carapaces are more durable than pony hide my dear. Extreme temperatures are nothing for me.”

“And what about you?” you ask the cat guy thing. “You live in jungle, shouldn’t you be chilled?”

“You kidding? I’m loving this. The jungle is sweltering, and this is a breath of fresh air,” he emphasizes with an exaggerated inhale.

Rolling your eyes, you finish putting on the cloak as Mangle sits on your back and you squirm your hidden wings underneath.

“Not gonna be able to fly well in this thing,” you tell Grandbuggy.

“We’re not gonna be doing much flying around here kid. When approaching Griffons you wanna be on ground level, they’re ornery like that.”

The three of you then begin the long climb up to the top of the peak where the Griffon Capital City lies.

“You don’t hold them in high regard then amigo?” asks Ahuizotl.

“As a whole? Not really. Individually I’ve found some good eggs, but it’s been years since I’ve been back to Griffonstone and for good reason,” he grumps.

“That sounds speciest Grandbuggy,” you chide.

Kichi’s Comment

“Well maybe it is, I don’t know,” he shakes his head. “But you’ll see what I mean when we get up there. The town is an absolute dump.”

“I thought that book you had me read said it was a rich city,” you point out.

“Hah,” he laughs. “Kid, let me just say this. If I had a choice between living in Griffonstone or going back to the Hive, it would be a very difficult decision. Least the Hive had stable engineering for all it’s buildings.”

“You’re kidding,” you deadpan, but your Grandbug just gives you a raised eyebrow. Your face sinks at that.

After some time of walking, which feels so much more slower now that you’ve learned to fly, you all reach the entrance of the city, and you see that Grandbuggy was selling the place short.

The houses look tattered and shambled, Griffons either lay about or snap at one another, and there is a strong permeating smell that makes you wrinkle your nose.

“Ugh, what is that smell?” you pinch your nose.

“Griffon,” Grandbuggy says nonchalantly.

“Blah, it smells like a litterbox here. Do they not shower? It smells like an outhouse mixed with sweat and something else.”

“Hmm,” Ahuizotl ponders after sniffing the air himself. “Smells like feline mating pheromones. That other smell is probably the residual musk from when two griffons-“

“Oi!” Grandbuggy interrupts, “She’s a kid, don’t you dare.”

“Huh? What won’t he dare?” you ask obliviously.

“What, I was only trying to answer her question. Besides, how can she not know about that stuff after hanging around you?” Ahuizotl shoots back.

“What Stuff?” you ask, annoyed at being interrupted.

“Because most of what I say goes over her head. I may joke around, but it’s not up to me to explain that to her, it’s her parents. And gods help you if tell her and they find out about it,” he warns.

“OK, OK, I won’t burst that bubble,” Ahuizotl agrees.

“Oh Come On!” you shout.

Bugze shivers suddenly then looks around in paranoia and dread.

“Parental instincts are tingling,” you mutter.

Ah, so you felt it too then? Selena says, also sounding concerned.

Yeah, I feel like Nightshade almost learned something she wasn’t supposed to.

That old fool had better not have taken her to a bar, Selena growls.

Or worse, Mardi Gras, you shiver at past memories.

What is Mardi Gras? asks Sombra.

I’ll tell you when you’re older, you snark.

“But I am older Grandbuggy,” you whine. “Noling ever tells me about Grown Up Stuff, whatever that is.”

“Again, ask your parents when you’re older kid, end of discussion,” Grandbuggy orders, ending the discussion.

“Ugh!” you roll your eyes and kick at the cobblestoned ground. Cobblestone that is in pieces and more like gravel due to disrepair.

“Fine, whatever other smelly smell that is, this place IS a dump. What the buck happened? The pictures in the book said this place was nice looking.”

“It was kid, a looong time ago. But after they lost their pride and joy, it all went to the pits,” Grandbuggy explains.

“Huh? Pride and Joy?”

“The artifact we’ve come to find chica, The Golden Idol of Boreas,” Ahuizotl chimes in.

“Wait, so they lost a statue and everything went to Tartarus?” you sum up.

“Well, it was stolen by an Arimaspi, but yes, pretty much,” Ahuizotl nods.

“A what?”

“Big one eyed jerk with lots of teeth,” Grandbuggy explains.

“Oh…well still, one thing gets stolen and a whole kingdom crumbles? That’s stupid. That’s like saying losing only one of the Elements of Harmony would end Equestria.”

Princess Celestia sneezes and shivers in dread.

“Bless you sister,” Luna says crumpling a paper and throwing it in a wastebasket, “but next time could you not aim for the official documents?”

“Sorry Lulu, I just had a weird feeling. It wasn’t anything important was it?”

“No, just the invitations for the Princesses of Saddle Arabia,” she grumbles and starts writing anew. “I hate paperwork.”

“Bureaucracy is needed dear sister, especially if the Summit is to go smoothly in a few weeks,” Celestia informs.

“Ugh, Twilight Sparkle is a Princess now, can’t she do it?”

“This will be her first Luna, I’d like her to not be overwhelmed by anything unexpected."

“You’d be surprised kid. Now, everyling just stay close and keep an eye on your bits around here. I’ve got to find an old flakey “Friend” of mine.”

“What’s he look like?” you ask.

“He’s hard to miss. The most ancient looking bird in this city, blind in one eye, wears a fez.”

“Shouldn’t we just ask around for him Fix?” asks Ahuizotl.

“Hah, as if any griffon would be that helpful. Watch,” he then turns to a random Griffon and asks.

DarkInfinity666’s Comment

Just_another_guy’s Comment

“Hey You, do you know where I can find an old fella named Gruff around here?”

“You got any bits?” the griffon immediately asks with her talon out.

“See what I mean?” Grandbuggy says to you and Ahuizotl, before turning back to the griffon. “Get a job hippie!”

“Hmmph,” the griffon snorts and walks away.

“Well that was rude,” you say.

“I know right? Flippen Freeloadin Flappy Birds.”

“I meant you as well Grandbuggy. Here, I’ll show you how it’s done.” You then walk right up to a nearby male griffon.

“Excuse me sir,” you say catching his attention, and you pull out the puppy dog eyes. “I was wondering if you could help me find someone please? His name is Gruff, and he’s my Great Grandbuggy’s bestest best friend.”

The Griffon looks at you quizzically and holds out his talon.

“Got any bits?”

WHAT?! I pulled out the puppy dog eyes! Noling can resist them!

“Umm, no?” He then just shrugs at you and walks away, leaving you dazed and confused.

“Told ya kiddo,” Grandbuggy chuckles.

“That has literally never happened to me before! He didn’t even react at all to my adorableness! How heartless is this place?!” you growl grinding your teeth.

“Perhaps we should just pay one of them to get the info?” Ahuizotl suggests.

“Hey, it’s your money,” Grandbuggy shrugs.

Ahuizotl takes out two bits and walks over to another female griffon.

“Excuse me, Hi. My name is Ahuizotl and I’m willing to pay for infor-“

“OH MY GOSH! Ahuizotl! From the Daring Do Books?!” the Griffon squeels in excitement, taking you all aback.

“Um, yes?” he says unsurely.

“Omygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!” she freaks out with her talons to her cheeks. “This is such an honor!” she says shaking his free hand.

“Umm, thank you?”

“Oh where are my manners, my name is Gabby, you said you were looking for someone…or something!” she says having an epiphany. “You’re here to find the Lost Idol aren’t you?!”

“Y-Yes?”

“Fantastic! Everyone will be so happy about that!” she then turns to the other houses.

“Hey Everygriffon, Ahuizotl the Treasure Hunter is here to bring glory back to Griffonstone!”

Several heads turn at that, before countless Griffons swarm him.

“Are you really?”

“It’s really him!”

“He’s going to save us all!”

“You won’t let Daring Do put it in a museum will you?!”

“We’ll worship you, just please find it!”

Grandbuggy’s panicked friend just looks at all the swarm and just says,

“I, yes, I will find it.”

The griffons then let out a cheer at that.

“You must be famished and tired, we’ll set you up anywhere for free!”

“But I-“ His words are drowned out as the cheering griffons all pick him up and run off with him down the road and out of site. After a few moments, all is silent again aside from the other bickering Griffons that didn’t run off with the herd.

“…What just happened here?” Grandbuggy asks aghast.

“I think that all the griffons carried Ahuizotl away to-“

“That was rhetorical,” Grandbuggy shakes his head. “I have never EVER seen that before. Free is not in a griffon’s vocabulary.”

“I guess you just have to be the right kind of person. Also, they really want that Idol back, and we’re just going to take it?”

“Until we’re done with it, yes…luckily I made a fake for just this very reason,” he says lifting his bag and showing something gold and shiny.

“When did you make that?” you ask curiously.

“On the train. What’d you think I was doing, napping?”

“Well yeah, that’s what any sensible creature would do,” you harrumph.

“I’ll nap when I’m dead, but yeah, when we do finally find this doohickey, we’ll leave this one in it’s place. The last thing we need is those nuts coming after us.”

“Shouldn’t we go after Ahuizotl?” you ask in concern.

“He’ll be fine. Lucky S.O.B.’s probably getting free food at this very moment,” he grunts. As he says that, your own stomach growls.

“Speaking of food,” you trail off and he smirks.

“Yeah, yeah alright, let’s get you some food. Heck, we were gonna check food stands anyway. Gruff used to make pastries or something.”

The two of you then head into the market district, where there are several food and merchandise stands. But…

Master of Shadows’ Comment

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

“Are you bucking kidding me?!” you shout in anger. “25 Bits for a Piece of Licorice?!”

“Them’s the prices pony,” the candy griffon monologues.

“That’s ridiculous! I could by two whole pizzas and a buck ton of soda for the same price!”

“Not around here ya can’t,” the griffon says plainly making your face burn again.

“Urrrgghh. Do you at least have anything besides Licorice?”

“You got any bits?” she asks.

“Ugh, fine! How much licorice do I get for 25 bits?” you grunt. The griffon reaches down and pulls out one single straw of candy.

“That’s it?! One straw? It’s not even good stuff! That’s black licorice!!!” you shout. She raises a brow at that.

“What’s wrong with Black Licorice?”

“EVERYTHING!!!” you yell and stamp away. You find Grandbuggy trying to haggle at another stall with a younger blue griffon behind it.

“I asked for lemonade ya little punk!” he growls.

“And that’s what I gave you,” he counters.

“You gave me a lemon in a cup and a packet of sugar!”

“It’s Home-Made Lemonade, you have to make it at home,” he instructs.

“I paid 10 bits kid!” Grandbuggy growls.

“It costs extra for ME to make it,” the griffon kid crosses his forelegs.

“AGH!” Grandbuggy growls and makes his way to you. “No luck on the candy?”

“No, it was a rip off. I see you got swindled,” you say pointing to the unpeeled lemon in the cup.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect the kids around here to start so young,” he sighs. “But that’s how it is around here. Overpriced Everything with underwhelming quality.”

Kichi’s Comment

“Ugh, there’s got to be something around here edible!” you shout.

“Hey Pony, Giant Bug, you want food, I got it,” comes a gravelly female voice. You and Grandbuggy look over to see a white and brown griffon next to a food cart.

“What are you selling?” you ask suspiciously.

“Family recipe scones,” she says holding out a tray of…something. Your stomach grumbles again and you look to Grandbuggy.

"Well, I’ve scones before, and whatever the price I’m hungry. Can I have one?"

The griffon nods and hands you one before looking to Grandbuggy with her talon extended.

"It's 50 bits" she says with a greedy smile.

"What? For one Gorramned pastry?! That is thieving!" he groans.

"That’s the price, she’s already touched it and we don't give refunds," she says plainly.

"Ummm... I can't eat this, is as hard as a rock" you say hitting the scone against your hoof, making a metallic clinking sound. “And I’m sure as Tartarus not going to chip my tooth again.”

"Special recipe, take it or leave it, but pay me the 60 bits" she says.

"What? You just said 50 bits a second ago!” Grandbuggy argues.

"That was before inflation, you know how prices change and all of that.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Griffon economics work differently than Bug economics, now pay up or *BONK* OW!” The griffon falls backward onto her stand rubbing her head from where you threw the scone at her.

“Oops, my hoof slipped,” you say smugly to the griffon who sneers at you.

“Fricken Ponies,” she growls and throws the scone back at your hooves.

“A deals a deal, now give me the 70 bits or I’ll get mean!”

“Oh I’d like to see you try you overgrown chicken,” you growl back picking up the scone and readying another throw.

Before things can come to a head though, a familiar female voice calls out.

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

DerpTape’s Comment

“Gilda, quit trying to scam the tourists.”

Looking to the side, you and Grandbuggy see another female griffon with green feathers around her eyes. For some reason, you can’t help but think she looks and sounds familiar.

“Oh well, well, well, what kind of dish we got here?” Grandbuggy says eying her up, which makes you roll your eyes.

“Oh, Greta hey!” Gilda says taken aback. “How are you?” the other griffon just deadpan stares at Gilda.

“As good as I can be in a backwards run down town where new games take months to be in the store, but that’s beside the point. Quit scamming the bug and pony already.”

Under the scrutinizing gaze of Greta, Gilda rolls her eyes and reluctantly looks back at you two.

“Ugh, fine. 5 Bits.”

“Can do,” Grandbuggy says not even looking at Gilda as he hands over the coins.

Gilda collects her money, hooks herself up to her cart, and gives what looks like a sad look to Greta before she huffs and walks away from you all.

“But I can’t even eat this thing!” you call out to her, but she continues walking.

“Great, we’re out 5 bits, and I’m still hungry…I guess I could use you as a weapon still,” you say as you pocket the Scone.

Scone of Bludgeoning Added To Inventory

The familiar griffon then looks to you two.

“I’d recommend getting out of the town while you still got enough bits strangers. There isn’t much to-“ she then stops talking and her eyes go wide as she looks towards you.

“YOU?!! How are you still alive?!” she shrieks in fear and backs up.

“Huh?” Grandbuggy stammers looking to you in confusion.

“Fazbear’s Burned Down! You Were Burnt Up!”

“What are you-“ you start to ask before the passenger on your back breaks her silence.

“Skkkkrrreeee,” Mangle barks at the griffon and waves causing sweat beads to form on her forehead.

“Oh gods they’ve found me. I don’t want to die, I don’t-“

“Whoa lady, calm down already, this is just Mangle my pet,” you reassure as you take the robot fox off your back and hug it.

“PET?! That thing cannibalized it’s fellow bots and made a huge mish mash body that I had to fight beak and claw with a Pyromaniac to beat!”

Your eyes light up at that, as does hers as you both say at the same moment.

“Wait a Second.”

“You’re that bounty hunter’s kid aren’t you?! The one that kept jumping in and out of his saddlebags,” she says in realization.

“Yeah I am. I knew you looked familiar,” you say realizing that Greta was the griffon from the Extra Lives Gang that was dressed as Samus.

“You know her kid?” Grandbuggy asks in surprise.

“Yeah, Daddy had me watch her when she was manacled in my room. I kind of sat that bounty out because dad went fire crazy.”

“Heh, no surprise there,” Grandbuggy says with a chuckle. Greta, or as you knew her, Samus looks at you in confusion and apprehension.

“So, you kept that thing? After it tried to eat your dad?”

“Well yeah, she’s bucking totes adorable,” you say squeezing the fox who hugs your face.

“Oi! Language!” Grandbuggy chides.

“Whoops,” you say wilting your ears. “Sorry, she’s bucking TOTALLY adorable.”

“That’s better,” he nods.

“I…Whatever,” she shakes her head and looks to Grandbuggy. “Crimson Vengeance?” she asks.

“Heh! Not likely sweetheart,” Grandbuggy laughs. “That’s my Grandson you met, and before you ask, he ain’t here.”

“Oh,” she says sounding a bit disappointed. “Then…then why are you here?”

“Nah, the question is, why are you here?” Grandbuggy asks. “Last I heard my boy turned everyone in for the bounty during that Fazbear job.”

“Actually, she was from another job Grandbuggy,” you speak up causing him to turn to you. “Dad let her go after we burnt down Fazbears because she helped out. She was in a Video Game gang called the Extra Li-“

“SSSHHH!!! Keep your voice down kid,” she says looking all around her, but luckily none of the griffons are paying any attention. “I’m not in that life anymore OK, and I don’t want anygriffon to know about it.”

Grandbuggy raises and eyebrow at that and looks back to you.

“She did help Daddy before, and she’s not jerky like all the rest of the griffons.”

“True that…Alright you fine firm feathered feline, you don’t have to worry about us. Heck, running into you was just a coincidence.”

“It was? A-and you’re not going to turn me in?” she asks.

“Nah, you’re still good,” you smile. “We’re actually looking for some old griffon named Gruff, you know him?”

“Gruff? You mean Gilda’s grandpa?” she asks.

“That was Gruff’s granddaughter?” Grandbuggy says surprised as he looks back the way she left before shaking his head. “Heh, guess the apple doesn’t fall to far after all.”

“What did you want with him? I mean, I know he’s the defacto community leader and all, but still.”

“He kind of owes me a favor, and I was hoping to cash in,” Grandbuggy answers.

“Oh, well I think he’s trying to schmooze in on that treasure hunter guy that showed up. Everygriffon’s trying to win his favor in case he takes over the town or something,” Greta says in thought.

“Oh great, we gotta go to Ahuizotl’s ego stroking party to even get info,” Grandbuggy says in disappointment.

“Hmmm, maybe we don’t need him Grandbuggy,” you say slyly.

“Huh?” he asks.

“Well why deal with other griffons when we got a nice friendly one here to give us some clues?”

“Kid, she’s way too young to know anything about the Idol,” Grandbuggy points out.

“Wait, you’re looking for the Idol? It’s in the gorge that way,” she points down the road.

“…Looks like I was mistaken,” Grandbuggy admits.

“Yeah, I tried to look for it a few years back. Thought I could make some bits off it, but the drafts are way too strong, so I just hit the road and…well, you know where I ended up.”

“Right. Well, that info is worth some gold,” Grandbuggy says as he brings out some bits, but she waves her talon at him.

“No no, not necessary, I’m not going to charge you for that.” Grandbuggy looks as if he’s been punched silly at the gawking look he gives her.
“Yeah I know,” she says in understanding. “But hey, I’ve been trying to be better, even if no one else follows suit. I kinda promised I would,” she says looking to you.

"Also, here, I heard you were hungry. Most ponies can't eat Griffon food though, but here's a baggy of trail mix," she says as she tosses a bag of goodness that you catch in your hooves.

"Oh My Gosh, Thank You!" you say as you tip the bag's contents into your mouth at once, eating it all with barely any chewing.
Grandbuggy looks between your eating form and the smiling griffon and back at you.
You smile back, swallow the rest of the mix and look to Grandbuggy.

“A good egg?”

“Yeah, a good egg,” he agrees still in shock.

“So, do you want to come help us find it?” you ask Greta excitedly.

“I’d…I’d rather not thank you,” she says still staring in dread at Mangle who you notice is giving her a very sinister smile.

“I swear, she’s quite tame now,” you reassure.

“That’s…that’s alright. Um, if you need anything I’ll be around but…yeah no, that bot still freaks me out,” she says as she awkwardly shuffles away from you guys. "Good luck though!"

“Hmmph, way to go Mangle, you scared a possible ally,” you chide the fox who lets out a sad whine.

“Ah, let up on the little monster. It takes a special kind of idiot to forgive and befriend something that tried to eat ya.”

“What, you mean Daddy?”

“Him too,” Grandbuggy nods as he continues to gawk at Greta’s retreating form.

“Grandbuggy, quit staring so creepily.”

“Sorry honey, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a cat-bird that got me all worked up. You said she was in a video game gang? Did she have a uniform?”

“Well she was in the Samus Zero Suit, which is this skin tight blue latex thing.”

“Really Now?!” Grandbuggy says excitedly turning back to watch her again.

*BONK* You hit the old bug over the head with Mangle.

“Get your head in the game old bug. Honestly, what is with guys and girls in latex,” you mutter as you start marching towards the gorge while Mangle and Grandbuggy follow dizzily.

Just_another_guy’s Comment

When you finally get to the edge of the cliff, you realize what Greta said was an understatement, the Updrafts are downright hurricane levels coming out of the canyon.

“So, this gorge is kind of big Grandbuggy, how do we know which spot to go down?”

“Easy kid, you see those old supports?” he says pointing to the ancient looking pools on the other side.

“Uh Huh,” you nod.

“Those used to be part of a bridge, the bridge that cyclops thing fell down and died in.”

“Ohhhh,” you nod in understanding. “Alright, how we going to do this?” He then looks at the scenery in front of him, puts a hoof to his chin and smiles at you.

"I've been thinking kid, I'd like to see how you can figure out this puzzle.”

"All on my own?" you asks quizzically.

"If you want, your little robot monster could help," He then sits and adjusts his hat "But ultimately, I want you to do it. This is something called, parenting. I want to see how much you've grown, and learnt from your father, mine and other’s mistakes."

"Oh, ugh okay" you say, not expecting to go down on your own. Still, it feels good knowing he trusts you enough.

Guess it's part of growing up, letting your parents throw you off the Deep Edge, quite literally this time. Besides, Daddy would never let me do this.

With a smile at your little freedom, you loosen your coat and start flapping your wings.

Okay, here we go!

"OH, FOR BUCKS SAKE!" You shout as you are thrown back out of the gorge and onto your butt for like the millionth time.

“Kid, you’re not using all at your disposal,” Grandbuggy instructs.

“The Buck I’m Not!” you growl as you try to dive into the cave, but once again, any time you try to fly, your wings blow you off course, Mangle’s cables become tangled, and you are thrown back out.

“Gorramnit!”

“Honey, you’ve got to start using every advantage your blood gives you,” Grandbuggy calls, sounding weary.

“I’m Trying! Maybe if Dad had taught me how to fly sooner, I wouldn’t be in this mess-BUCK!”

Sighing Grandbuggy walks up to your downed form.

“Kid, maybe you should take a rest.”

“NO! I’ve fought monsters and demons, I’ve moved the freaking moon! I will not be defeated by wi-AAAGGH-OOF!” Sighing once again at your sprawled form at his hooves, he takes his hat off, plops it on your head and makes his way to the edge.

Still livid, you look at his stupid walk to the stupid edge, puts one stupid hoof over that stupid
cliff and goes down without a STUPIDsafety rope and-

... Wait.

"GRANDBU-" you run to the Edge and look down. And you see your Grandbug climbing- no... walking down the cliff!!

"Wha~??" Is all that comes out your mouth. And after say, 5 minutes he comes walking back up, with the artifact in his magic.”

“Wha…?” you blubber as he crests the edge and looks down at you with a smirk.

“I…How?!”

“All changelings worth their salt can do this kiddo, your dad is just the exception to the rule,” he says matter of factly.

“B-But. How did you expect ME to do that?!” you grunt.

He stares at you in deadpanned silence for a few moments before he sighs again and takes his hat back.

“I told you, use all at your disposal, and every advantage in your blood. What are you part honey?”

Your eyes widen suddenly as you look down at your hooves and mentally command the changeling fire in you to warp them to a more carapace appearance. You go to the edge, place your foot on the side, and it sticks.

"And what did we learn today sweetheart?" He says casually.

You feel something deep inside you boil to the surface due to all the wasted time and effort. It feels like... Unyielding RAGE!

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK~

DerpTape’s Comment

After five minutes of solid screaming, you pant as you sit on the ground.

“Better?”

“…Yes,” you say taking your last gulp of air before normal breathing resumes.

“You ain’t never gonna forget that little trick now are ya?” he says smugly.

“No,” you reluctantly agree.

“And there’s the lesson kid. Always try to find a new angle, and use EVERYTHING at your disposal. Yeah you’re a tough as nails alicorn, but never forget that the Changeling side of you has benefits aside from hiding your wings and horn.”

“*Sigh* Alright Grandbuggy, I won’t forget.”

“Good. Now, that I’ve got the danged statue, let’s find Ahuizotl and get the buck out of h-“

“QUICK FIX! What have you done?!” comes said creature’s voice from down the road.

You see Ahuizotl and a few Griffons all with climbing gear looking at Grandbuggy horrified.

“What, I didn’t want to deal with all the cat birds so I went ahead and-“

“Idiota! You should have told me! An Arimaspi would have left a curse that I could have dispelled,” he says in worry.

“Relax, I saw that thing’s skull at the bottom of the gorge,” Grandbuggy hoof waves.

Suddenly Ahuizotl’s and the griffons’ eyes widen as a shadow creeps over the top of you and Grandbuggy and Mangle cries out in alarm.

Turning around your own eyes sink in fear at what you see as you tug on Grandbuggy’s foreleg.

“Grandbuggy…”

“Not now kiddo, I’m gloating,” he dismisses.

“Turn around you old buck!” you chide.

“Oh fine, what is I’m supposed to seeeeeeeeee,” he trails off as he sees what’s caught everyone’s attention.

Climbing out of the gorge is a massive skeletal monster with one eye socket.

“Oh…it’s an undead Arimaspi…” Grandbuggy says a bit chilled as the thing silently stares at you all. “Ummm, I think we should-“

“BUCKING RUN!!!” you cry out and start flying as fast as you can back towards Griffonstone, which causes the giant skeleton monster to let out a massive roar.

“We’ll have a better chance of fighting it in town, move your flanks!!!” you command and everyling starts following your example.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-nG9n_s4jI

Author's Notes:

Fight On.

Hey Hive Mind,

Looks like Nightshade’s getting right into huh? Well since it’s an undead monster, we can finally let our little filly loose with her fighting prowess. Go nuts guys. With this chapter, just remember the timeframe, this is way before there’s a cutie map, so no Elements are showing up.

Also, again sorry for the delay. Work just gets in the way sometimes.

See you on the battlefield,

Brown Dog.

Episode 19: A Skele-TON of Problems

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTbB703XZFM

GreyRebl’s Comment

In the town of Griffonstone, manning a lonesome wagon stall, Gilda sighs. Aside from that one spunky filly and the old fart, there haven’t been any other customers. No surprises there, that has been the case since, well, forever. That's fine by her, because the scones will turn out better when they get cold at least, that's what the Grandpa Gruff always tells her.

"Gruuuh..." Gilda bonks the back of her head against the stall. "Doesn't make this any less boring and pathetic," she mutters. "I wish Greta hadn’t of been so mad at me, now everything’s worse. Probably should've gone with the others, because obvious fake or not, that Ahuizotl guy was the most interesting thing to happen in this lousy town..."

...Thud cruck! ...Thud cruck! ...Thud cruck!

"Huh?" Gilda lifts her head, listening. "The heck is…"

...Thud cruck! ...Thud cruck! ...Thud cruck—!

She blinks. It seems to be coming closer and closer and a sense of trepidation sends her feathers standing on end. "...That's not an earthquake is it?"

"COMING THROUUUUGGHH!"

Gilda snaps her gaze westward, toward a slight hill in the distance. Several griffons come flying with terror in their eyes, and screaming below them is Ahuizotl and a familiar filly and old changeling, who are running as fast as their limbs can carry them. And just right on all their tails, emerging from the other side of the hill...

Gilda squawks as the house-sized Arimaspi comes looming into the town. "What the buuuuuuuuu—!?"

-========-

Thud cruck!

"—uuuck!" Grandbuggy ducks his head, bits of rocks sailing over as he curses between each gasp of breath. "Buck! Buck! Buck! Today just isn't our lucky bucking day! Bucking Tartarus!"

To his side, sprinting like a cheetah on rocket fuel, Ahuizotl snaps at him.

"I told you, Quick Fix! I told you, but you didn't listen!"

"How the buck was I supposed to know?!"

"You should've known, we've worked together so many times! Curses and old artifacts go hand and hand! Daring Do’s writer mentions that all the time!”

"You expect me to remember all that voodoo jumbo you both go on about?!"

Being the good filly you are, you gallop right between them, interrupting the adults while they are still speaking and say,

"Less talking, more running!"

And with a hop, skip and a jump *thud!* you slam your earthbending hooves to the ground, launch a sizeable boulder into the air and *cruck!* with a literal earth-shattering buck, shoot it toward the Arimaspi's face!

A spectacular explosion of dust and stone, and the one-eyed skeleton reels, slowing momentarily, gasping as if it still has lungs.

“Direct hit!” you shout with a hoof pump, but then the raging glint of an ethereal eye shines through the dust, and the Arimaspi quickly rights itself with a mighty roar, clearing away the dust cloud in a single gust of wind and exposing the deep fractures on its skull.

“Oh hey, I actually hurt it,” you say proudly, but then Lady Luck rears her ugly head. Right before your eyes, the bone melts into the cracks, as if several tons of rock to the face never happened, before it swoops back in with a creeping shriek:

"Shrrraaaaaaaaaauugh!"

"Oh, come on!" you whine. "That's just unfair!" Wheezing heavily, Grandbuggy spits,

"You better dispel that curse real bucking quick, 'Zotl, else we'll be joining the party of the dead long before it'll end!"

"Very well! I’ll try, but at this point it might to be too late with the reanimation already in effect," Ahuizotl snarls. "But if I die because of another one of your stupid mistakes, I will haunt you till the end of your life!"

"Right back at you, bucko!"

"OH MY BUCKING GOD!" you shout. "Both of you shut up and help me already!"

“Calm down sweetheart, bickering is how we get stuff done,” Grandbuggy reassures.

“Indeed Chica!” Ahuizotl yells as he steps forward and holds aloft some sort of necklace trinket that begins to glow.

“RRRAAAAGGGHHH!!!” the monster screams, as nothing seemingly happens, but it doesn’t move forward.

“‘Zotl, anytime now!” Grandbuggy says nervously.

“Hold your horses, you think an exorcism is that quick?”

“Exorcism? But don’t you need a young priest and an old priest for that?” you ask.

“Ideally!” Ahuizotl yells, “But unfortunately I don’t see any around here!”

Kichi’s Comment

You then look around to the gathered griffons who are watching from a distance, hoping that Ahuizotl saves them.

“Oi! You lot!” you point at them and they look to you. “We’re trying to do an exorcism, any of you got any magic, holy or otherwise?” they all look at each other before looking back to you shaking their heads.

“…Would that change if I said I had bits?” you venture, but unfortunately they still give the same response.

“Really? Noling can help? The overgrown cat thing needs help you overgrown cat things!” you chide.

“RRRREEEEEE!!!” the creature shrieks at you, not stepping any closer to Ahuizotl and his symbol.

"Yeah, Yeah, hang on a second you!” you chide the monster who flinches back before it snarls and tries to shout again.

“SSKKKRR-“

“I SAID SHUT THE BUCK UP! We’ll deal with you in due time so take a ticket and wait your turn to speak!" the monster seems very surprised by your tone and even tilts it’s head in confusion, but you ignore it and turn back to the crowd.

“OK, what about lime? I know from gangster movies that it dissolves bodies and bones and stuff and…What? Do I have something on my face?” you ask as the Griffons and even Grandbuggy are giving you curious glances.

"Uh... No,” says the scone griffon from earlier.

“Then what’s with the looks?” you demand.

“You’re yelling at that thing like it’s no big deal, aren’t you scared?” Gilda asks.

“A little bit, but really more for you guys. In the long run I can handle myself, but all you guys might get turned into jerk chicken.”

“What makes you so sure of that?” demands Gilda.

“Because I’m a freaking Alicorn ya price gouging strumpet!” you boast as you dramatically whip off your coat, revealing your wings, which cause several of them to gasp.

“Now, if none of you can help magically, can you at least get some torches or pitchforks or-“

“Are you Nightmare Moon?!” asks that hyperactive griffon from before, Gabby or something.

“What?” you ask taken aback.

“I asked are you Nightmare Moon?” she says, sounding kind of excited.

“NO!” you groan. “No I’m not! Why do folks keep asking that?!”

“Well, you’re a dark alicorn filly hanging around a changeling, and I’ve heard on the mail route in Equestria that there’s a changeling fugitive that has the mare in the moon in his head and-“

“Buck off with that slander to my family!” you growl shutting her up. “Now, we can either keep playing twenty questions and accusing who’s who of being their mom, but let’s handle that sack of bones first!”

“Grraagh?!” the Arimpasi lets out a questioning growl.

“Yes You!”

“Alright Chica, the distraction is good, but I could still use some help!” Ahuizotl strains with his paws shaking with the symbol.

“I’m trying!” you grunt. “Grandbuggy, do you have anything?”

“Hmm, maybe,” he says as he takes a small book from under his hat and flips through some pages.

“Ah, here we go,” he says looking at a page before turning to the griffons.

“Any of ya’ll got any spare blowfish lying around?”

The griffons look all amongst themselves, before Greta calls out,

“Will this work?” and throws a tuna at Grandbuggy’s hooves.

“…Eh, close enough,” he shrugs. “Alright, everyone repeat after me!” he then begin to chant a spell, followed by the griffons

"Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao, Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao..." you all mimic, but nothing happens.

“Gorramit. Were all you saying it right?” he accuses and they shirk away from his voice.

“Personally Grandbuggy, I don’t even think I was saying it right,” you admit.

“It’s not a spirit from Neighsan descent idiotas!” Ahuizotl grunts. “Does anyone know ancient Equestrian?”

“Uhhhh…” you all mutter and he rolls his eyes.

“Of course you don’t. This might be dangerous for just myself, but oh well!” he then starts chanting loudly in some dead language.

"Exorcizamus te,omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica..."

Unlike Grandbuggy though, the symbol he holds shines brighter and the skeleton backs away some more, but it doesn’t disintegrate or seem harmed.

“Well, it’s keeping him away from us at the very least,” Grandbuggy says.

“That’s a short term solution!” Ahuizotl grunts, sweat beads on his forehead. “We have to stop it permanently! Does no one have any depictions of powerful beings to compel this thing with?”

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

“Powerful beings?” you ask before a lightbulb flashes above you. "Wait a minute, I do!" You reach into your saddle bag for a drawing of your mom to use against the Arimaspi ghost. However…

*sigh* I miss my Nightshade Selena mutters sadly as Bugze sits on his library couch bed, observing the magic crystal shard.

"Ahh don't worry Selly, we'll all be back together in no time, and then you’ll be able to hug her in your own arms."

Yeah…after we track through countless hybrid descendants on this gods forsaken world… she says a bit in melancholy.

Sensing that the mood is still not lightened, Bugze thinks for a moment before slapping his human forehead.

"Oh wait I forgot!" He says before pulling out his 'purse' and reaching inside to pull out a drawing Nightshade had made for her mom.

"Nightshade told me to look at this whenever we missed home." The drawing was, well, actually very well done for a filly her age. It was a drawing of all three of them together.

Ahh my sweet filly, Selena cries a bit in happiness and longing. Thank you Bugze, she says with a sniffle.

“No prob.”

Hey what about me? Sombra whines, feeling excluded.

"Oh pipe down Smokey, I’m sure she made one of you too, but she probably didn't finish it before we left and still has it with her,” Bugze says with a roll of his eyes. Sombra huffs wishing he had his own Nightshade picture to look at, but resigns himself knowing that she’ll have even more time to make it look spectacular.

"D'OH I gave it to mom and dad before they left,” you facehoof. "I guess Sombra's photo will have to do.” You then pull out Sombra’s drawing of him sitting on a crystal throne surrounded on all sides by stairs, and a big goofy smile on his face.

“Hang on Ahuizotl!” you shout as you run next to the foal book villain.

"HEY ARIPA-, APRIMA, AKKAMA, oh forget it. HEY UGLY!" You cry out tired of trying to pronounce his stupid dumb, dumby dumb dumb butthead, unpronounceable name. The Arimaspi looks down at you in confusion as you pull out the Sombra portrait.

"The power of Sombra compels you! The power of sombra compels you! THE POWER OF SOMBRA COMPELS YOU!" You shout with all your might as it causes the monster to cry out in pain. Everyone looks in awe as you begin to push it back towards the chasm with your shouts, everyone except Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl that is.

“What are you doing?!” Ahuizotl shouts in fear.

“Kid! Quit chanting!” Grandbuggy warns.

“Why? He’s actually getting hurt and-“

*BOOM*

You are interrupted as the skeleton explodes in a dark glow, which blasts everyone back, and even interrupts Ahuizotl’s own protective charm.

"Did I win?" You babble with a dizzy head, but as you shake it off, you see the smoke begin to part. Dark magic lighting crackles around the skeleton and it is now covered in zombie like flesh, but most horrifying of all, it’s sprouted WINGS!

“Wha…?” you trail off looking at the now demonic looking monster.

"I think you made it worse kiddo," Grandbuggy deadpans.

“Yes she did! What were you thinking channeling the spirit of an Umbrum?”

“How could I have known that?!” you grumble.

“Umbrum’s are the darkest of dark magic kid. Essentially, you just threw oil onto a forest fire.”

"GRAAAHHHOOOOOOHHHHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" cries the Arimaspi as it starts to flap it's wings and fly right at you.

"RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" the griffons shout and run further into their town.

"DANGIT SOMBRA!!!" you yell in frustration as the now fleshy zombie monster flies towards you.

Kersey475’s Comment

Zapper frost’s Comment

WARGAMES’ Comment

“Alright, you’re not just bones anymore, so take this!” you shout as you slam your hoof into the ground, causing a pillar to shoot out and strike the thing right in the nards.

Please work, please work…you stammer in your head. The pillar makes the creature stop for sure, but only momentarily as it lifts itself off of the pillar and flies upward.

“Gorramit!” you shout.

“It’s an undead honey, any nards it had have since rotted away,” Grandbuggy tells you as he grabs your hoof and leads you further into town, with Ahuizotl following suit. After rounding a few bends in town, you all see the monster land in front of a group of griffons.

“AAHHH!!!” they squawk in fear and try to fly off, but the blue lemonade scammer from before gets knocked prone in the scatter before the monster.

“GGGRRRRAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” the Arimaspi yells at the teen as it lifts it’s claws up for a strike.

“Claws off pal!”Greta yells as she dive kicks the monster in the face, distracting it momentarily.

“Get out of here Gallus!” Greta shrieks to the teen.

“Y-Yeah!” he nods and flies off. Once he’s safe, she turns back to face the zombie monster.

“I have had enough of giant monsters and undead in my life thank you very much!” she yells in anger as she sinks her claws into one of it’s wings, putting a hole into it’s membrane and causing it to shriek.

“Whoa,” Ahuizotl says in amazement.

“Gorram, that’s one tough chick,” Grandbuggy says impressed.

“Well she did help dad fight Mangle when she was giant,” you point out.

“AAAAGGGHHH!!! *BONK* Greta lands at your feet head first after the Arimapsi flapped her off it’s wings.

“…But maybe she bit off more than she could chew,” you mutter as you check her. Lifting her head, you see swirls in her eyes and a goofy grin on her face.

“I like turtles,” she says before passing out.

“Of course you do,” you sigh as you shove her into the Inventory to which Grandbuggy just gives you a curious look.

“What? I’m not going to just leave her on the ground with that thing running around,” you point out.

“I didn’t say anything kid,” he shrugs and looks to the monster. “At least she did one thing, she grounded it.

“And the wound has not healed,” Ahuizotl points out and you see the gash where Greta struck it.

“That means he’s weaker!” you put two and two together. “Quick, throw me!” you yell to Ahuizotl.

"Excuse me?!" he exclaims.

"You're right, not hard enough,” you nod. “Spin me around you a few times then throw me at it as hard as you bucking can!"

"Are you loco? Your abuelo will kill m-"

"She knows what she's doing!" Grandbuggy interrupts Ahuizotl as he takes off his bowler hat. “Wait till I distract that thing then let her rip.” Grandbuggy then rushes forth.

“Hey Ugly! You came to the wrong neighborhood motherbucker!” he then throws his hat like a frisbee, and as it flies towards him, you see metallic blades exit the sides. The sharp hat hits the Arimapsi right at the corner of it’s eye and it howls in absolute pain.

“Now!” Grandbuggy calls out.

"I hope you know what you're doing little one," Ahuizotl says before he picks you up with his tail hand and starts spinning you around him. Once he has enough momentum he hurls youat the monster with all his might.

Alright Grandbuggy, cute trick with the hat, but when it comes to tricks, I’m the cutest there is, you think as you barrel roll towards the monster at extreme speeds with midnight flames exuding from your body.

"FALCON MISSILE KICK!!!" you call out as your flaming hoof makes impact with the monster’s pelvis where you nard shotted him before. This time however, the pelvis cracks and shatters and the Arimapsi collapses, it’s mobility crippled from cracked bones. You do however hit your head against said bones in the process and your vision swims greatly.

Master of Shadows’ Comment

Darkinfinity666’s Comment

“Ooohhh, anyone, get the number of that carriage,” you warble as you hold your head.

“Great shot kid, one in a million,” Grandbuggy slaps your back, which makes you almost spill your lunch. “But we’re not done yet.”

“We’re not?!” you whine and look to the now immobile giant monster as it drags it’s way towards you.

“Just bucking stay down already! Ugh!” you groan as Grandbuggy picks you up and carries you some way out of it’s range.

“Nice throw ‘Zotl, even though I’ll have to kick your flank for it later,” Grandbuggy admits.

“But you both told me to!” he whines.

“Yeah, but it’s Grandfatherly duty either way,” he shrugs.

“I…Whatever. It’s still “alive” for lack of a better term, but it can still cause damage. Why don’t you just shift into a larger form and stomp it’s head in?” he asks Grandbuggy. Grandbuggy gives him a cross look at that.

“You want me to drop dead ya idjit? I’m too old to be expending that much magic to get that large.”

“Wait, you can grow bigger Grandbuggy?” you ask curiously.

“Not anymore,” he admits. “I used to be able to shift into a bugbear in my youth when things got hairy, but those days are behind me.”

“Wait…so can I change into giant monsters then?” you ask excitedly, but the sad look he gives you squashes that dream.

“Sorry Shade, you’ve got too much pony in your blood to pull that off, that’s why your Dad and Grandma never could.”

“Ugh!” you grunt over not being able to Saddle Rager it up before a thought comes to you.

“Wait a minute, none of us have to bulk up, we have our own little monster!” you then look into the bag of holding and pluck out Mangle who had been drawing a mustache onto Greta’s beak.

“Mangle, I need you to get a bunch of metal and Huge yourself to fight the undead thing OK?” Mangle looks at the crippled, crawling creature then at her surroundings before she gives you a confused metallic bark and a shrug.

“What? What’s wrong?” you ask before Ahuizotl taps you on the shoulder.

“There’s no large stores of metal here chica, only stone, wood and straw.”

Looking around, you remember again just how dumpy this town is.

“…Alright, you know what? Forget trying to be clever. I’m just going to pull a daddy and light this mother up!” you shout in defiance as you flap your wings and lift into the air.

WARGAMES’s Comment

All those times living in Ponyville, you remember seeing the pegasi gathering up clouds for a rainstorm, so you start doing that with the many, many clouds surrounding this mountain city.

You gather and gather and clump the clouds until they start turning black above the slowly crawling monster, and despite everything, no collateral damage has been done by it thanks to all your efforts, but it still has to go.

“Eat lightning freak!” you shout and stomp on the cloud which sends a large bolt of lightning down on the monster. The Arimapsi roars in pain and shouts to the sky, a large section of undead flesh burned off.

“You’ve Been…THUNDERSTRUCK!!!” you call out maniacally as you kick the mass of clouds again and again and again, which burns more and more of it to the bone…but then things get out of hand. The storm clouds begin spewing lightning on their own accord at random, striking houses, setting fires, and destroying food carts.

storm clouds begin spewing lightning on their own accord and at random, striking random houses, setting them on fire, and destroying food carts.

“Oh! Oh No! OH BUCK!!!” you cry out in dismay as you start trying to disperse the clouds, only to get shocked yourself.

“OW!” you cry out with your hair standing on end. “Stop it! Stop being a force of nature and obey me!”

It takes some time and effort, and a lot more shocks, but you eventually do get the clouds to stop raining down death and destruction, and start spewing out just regular rain.

Flying down, you see that though the fires have been put out, somehow Griffonstone looks even worse. On the plus side, the Arimapsi no longer has flesh and is just bone again.

In front of it sit Ahuizotl and Grandbuggy who give you deadpan looks at all the chaos around you.

“Uh…my bad?” you say nervously.

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

Grandbuggy facehooves and gives out a sigh. All around the town, you hear the squawks of displeasure from countless upset griffons.

“Kid…” Grandbuggy starts before sighing again. “I have to give you credit for effectiveness, but you and I really need to talk about tactics. You don’t burn the whole forest down to take down a bear.” You wilt your ears and look down.

“Sorry Grandbuggy,” you apologize. He sighs again and puts his hoof on your shoulder.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it too hard kid, even with a little destruction, this town isn’t that much worse for wear. Besides, you’ve only been taught by your Dad, and he always goes for the Big and Flashy route. You’ll learn.”

“Maybe we should leave amigos, before the locals come calling for repair payments,” Ahuizotl interrupts nervously looking around.

“…Good thinking,” Grandbuggy nods as he goes to the skeleton and wrenches his hat out of the corner of it’s eye socket. As he does, the Arimapsi raises it’s head and clacks it’s jaws.

“Holy Buck!” he yelps, leaping backwards. “This flankhole’s still kicking even after all that?!”

Sure enough, the thing still snaps it’s jaws, trying to fight back even after it’s beating, and even it’s leg bones are reforming.

“Oh enough already,” you say pushing forward.

“Shade, what are you do-“

You place your hoof on the things forehead and concentrate on a trick that you’ve seen Mommy do on multiple occasions.

When you open your eyes, they are pure white and your voice reverbs with power.

“Assuming Direct Control…”

The yellow glow in the Arimapsi’s socket dies as it is replaced with white to match yours.

“Alright stupid, I want you to stop fighting already. You’re dead and the golden idol isn’t yours. Give up on it.”

The creature nods under your hoof in understanding.

“Now, I want you to go back to your hole and rest in peace OK?...Actually, first I want you to fix this place up a bit first. It’s only because of you it got wrecked, so help out the catbirds a bit, maybe make them be less jerky or something.”

The creature seemingly whines at that command, but it nods it’s head.

“Good. Now, do all that and be a good boy, then you can rest with this nice replica next to your bones at the bottom of the gorge,” you say as you reach out and pull out the false idol Grandbuggy made and put it in it’s eyesocket, which seems to make it happy.

“Deal?”

The skeleton nods enthusiastically and stands up as you take your hoof off of it, and you feel drained and tired.

“It’s OK guys. He’s cool now,” you say with a yawn looking at Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl as the Arimapsi skeleton starts picking up debris in the street.

Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl look completely flabbergasted at you.

“What?” you ask swaying.

“Nightshade…what in the world did you just say to that thing?”

“Huh? What do you mean? Didn’t you hear me?” you ask confused.

“Yes we heard you speak something child…but it sounded like you were speaking in backwards speech,” Ahuizotl says astounded.

“What, really?” you ask as you yawn again.

“Huh…neat…I’ma sleep now,” you say as you flop onto the ground in exhaustion and pass out.

You slowly regain consciousness to the clickety clack of a rail road track and let out a big yawn and stretch.

“Aaaahh,” you mumble as your eyes unblur and your stomach growls.

“Ah look, she finally wakes,” you hear Ahuizotl say.

“Bout time,” Grandbuggy’s voice answers.

Rubbing your eyes to clear the blurriness, you see that you are inside a train car moving towards some unknown destination, and it’s night time. You sit up at that and look around.

“Wait, where are the Griffons? Where’s Griffonstone?” you ask looking around.

“Bout 6 hours back that way,” Grandbuggy points behind himself.

“Yes, we had to get out of there right quick before any griffon knew any better,” Ahuizotl adds.

“Wait, how long was I out?”

“Nearly half the day,” Grandbuggy says ruffling your hair. That little stunt you pulled sure took a lot out of you.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve never Assumed Direct Control before…Wait, what happened to the Ara-Whatever?”

“Well kid, you tell us, because whatever you said in your backward speech made it start cleaning up the town,” Grandbuggy chuckles at that.

“The griffons were so shocked and confused by it’s actions, it gave us the perfect distraction to escape,” Ahuizotl laughs himself.

“Oh, so my plan worked then,” you say with a smile. “I told it to stop being a jerk, fix up the place, and then go back to being dead in the gorge.”

“Nice honey,” he beams with pride. “You even stuck my replica in it’s eye so the catbirds don’t know the difference. You won the day and you cleaned up the mess you made.”

“The mess YOU made Quick Fix. That thing wouldn’t have rampaged if you’d been more patient.”

“Oh blow it out your flank, it was alright in the end,” Grandbuggy hoof waves.

“Next time, we have to be more careful!”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t been trying to schmooze with all the lady birds back there, you would have been with us!”

“I did no such thing!”

You roll your eyes as they start bickering again before a sudden thought comes to you.

“So, where are we heading now?” you interrupt their bickering.

“Well, we have a few options now as far north as we are. We do have to go to the Dragonlands eventually, but between here and there there’s been talk of some new town that supposedly has an artifact of Mage Meadowbrook.”

“Really now?” asks Ahuizotl curiously.

“Yeah, but aside from her famous mask, I’m not sure what else this town could have, but it’s worth a look,” Grandbuggy says.

“Well, as long as we don’t just grab it without thinking, things should be fine.”

“Alright, alright, quit harping on it!”

And as they start bickering again, you sigh and look out the window and think about the day you’ve just had.

I totally kicked flank today, and I didn’t have Mommy or Daddy around. All those years stuck napping in the inventory seem like such a waste…wait a minute!

You open up your inventory and look inside and your eyes widen.

“I can smell them all over yer fur ya cat fanatic!”

“Of course you can, that whole town stunk of them!”

“Uh, guys?” you say interrupting them. “I, uh, I think we might have a problem.” You open up your inventory and show them what you’ve seen. The still unconscious Greta, who’s now sporting drawn on glasses, a full beard, and the word Loser on her forehead, courtesy of Mangle.

“Oh…right. Kind of forgot about her,” Grandbuggy admits scratching the back of his head.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-nG9n_s4jI

Author's Notes:

No I will not apologize for the pun in the title chapter.

Hey Hive-Mind,
Well that was a quick fight wasn't it? Well I guess that's to be expected when we finally let our strongest character loose on the battlefield. But with a fight down, an awkward train ride is sure to follow. Have fun with that

See you on the battlefield,
Brown Dog.

Episode 20: New Allies and Old Memories

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTbB703XZFM

As your little group stares into the open bag at the unconscious Griffon, Grandbuggy gets up and looks up and down the hallway outside your private room before he shuts the door and closes the blinds.

“OK, first step in accidental kidnappings is you cut off sight and visuals of random witnesses. If she wakes up screaming, we have the opportunity to calm her down without looking suspicious.”

“Have you been in this position before?” you ask him curiously.

“More than you’d think, and less than you’d hope kid,” he replies before looking to Ahuizotl.

“Keep your weird hand tail ready in case she squawks.”

“Why don’t you use your hoof?” Ahuizotl complains. “She’s got a beak and your chitin is harder than my flesh.”

“Oh suck it up you big baby, you’re the big guy in this scenario, so you need to act like it,” Grandbuggy huffs before turning back to you.

“You just stand by kid and play mediator if you have to. If that fails, I’ll lay on the old charm.”

“Grandbuggy, now’s not the time to be pervy,” you roll your eyes as you upend your bag and dump Greta out onto the floor between you all, with Mangle falling out right on top of her.

With her completely out of the bag, you all see the masterpiece that Mangle has accomplished.

Down with Chyralis’s Comment

The unconscious griffon’s face is completely covered in marker ink. She sports drawn on glasses, a mustache and goatee, a fake lobotomy scar, and phrase on her cheek that says, “I Eat Ponies.”

You all stare at the intricate artwork as Mangle looks up at you in glee, before simultaneously, you all start snickering.

“That’s not *Pfft* That’s not nice Mangle, heh heh,” you giggle.

“Ya, *Snort* definitely not cool, *Guffaw*” Grandbuggy agrees, hiding his mouth with his hoof.

Ahuizotl attempts to say something as well, but he can’t keep up the charade and just starts bellowing out laughter. The dam breaks as you and Grandbuggy add your own laughs.

Mangle, seeing all your joy, puts her hands on her hips and nods appreciatively before laughing with her own mechanical barks.

This turns out to be a very bad idea as the animatronic screeching reaches Greta deep in her subconscious.

Zapperfrost’s Comment

Kichi’s Comment

“AAAAHHH!!!” she screeches bolting upright, startling you all.

“Whoa now Chica it’s al-AH!” Ahuizotl recoils as she bites at his hand tail.

“Get the buck away from me you damned robots!” she thrashes wildly in a daze, clawing at Ahuizotl and Grandbuggy’s faces.

“Calm down ya Gorramned Featherbrain!” Grandbuggy orders.

“You’ll never take me alive you flippin Fazbear motherbu-*WHAM*”

She falls to the floor, her head spinning after your Falcon Punch to the back of her head.

“Get a hold of yourself dummy, there’s no robots here,” you command.

“Reeee?” Mangle screeches holding her paw up.

“Okay, there’s ONE robot, but she’s cute and adorable, so quit freaking out already.”

As you say that, her eyes stop spinning and she groggily looks at your three forms.

"Ughhh... Where am I?" she asks.

“On a train,” Ahuizotl answers plainly causing you to facehoof.

“A train? But how?” her eyes focus on Ahuizotl. “Wait, you’re that adventurer guy.”

“That’s right senorita, I am Ahuizotl of-“

“You brought that monster to town!” she accuses pointing a talon at him.

“What? I did no such thing! That was all Quick Fix!”

“Oh sure, throw me under the wagon why don’tcha?” Grandbuggy grumbles.

“But it was your fault! You didn’t disenchant the corpse!” Ahuizotl shoots back.

“Oh excuse me for forgetting that oh so known procedure!”

And like that, they continue bickering again which all but confuses Greta. Rolling your eyes, you wave your hoof in front of her face and have her look at you.

“Just ignore them, they get dumb like that a lot.”

“Right…I’m going to guess this isn’t a dream then?”

“No unfortunately,” you say with a sigh.

“Figures,” she says wincing as she rubs the back of her head.

“Which one of you jerks punched me?”

“Who are you accusing? I’m a gentleman, I’d never hit a lady that didn’t deserve it, unlike this weirdo” Grandbuggy boasts.

“I would never!” Ahuizotl defends himself.

“Oh please, you’ve rough and tumbled with Daring so many times, she probably enjoys it by now,” Grandbuggy trolls.

“It’s not like that!” Ahuizotl shouts blushing red.

“I punched you,” you clarify as the two “Grownups” bicker and argue. Greta looks to you in shock.

“You did?”

“Yeah, you were freaking out so I had to calm you down.”

“Well…it certainly worked,” she says pulling her talon away from her bump. “That was a heck of hit…you’re the Crimson Vengeance’s daughter.”

“Eyup, that’s me,” you say with a smirk. She then looks around her surroundings and back at you.

“So, I am on a train…but how did I get here? The last thing I remember is that monster attacking Gallus before I stopped it then…nothing.”

“Oh yeah, the Arapa…Arpo…The THING hit you and knocked you out. I put you in my Inventory just like Daddy did to you when we had you manacled.”

“Ok…” she nods in understanding. “No wonder I woke with that flashback. Last time I was in that kind of bag, that Crimson Knight nutjob’s robots were all over me.”

“Eyup. Plus Mangle’s bark probably added to it. She was drawing on your face while you were out,” you point below her where Mangle is standing.

She looks down and freezes in place, her eyes going wide.

TartarusFire’s Comment

WARGAMES’s Comment

She stares in abject horror at the tiny animatronic, who chuckles trollishly and licks her beak with her metal tongue.

“MMMMM,” Greta whines, not opening her mouth as she backs up into a corner and shakes in fear.

“Alright Mangle, we’re not trying to give her a heart attack,” you chide the robot who looks at you giddily. She then opens her mouth and plays back a sound byte.

“Got any bits?” comes one of the griffon’s voices from earlier, which only makes Greta wince more.

“Bits?” you ask incredulously of your pet. She then points to Greta, to your bag, and back before playing the recording again.

“Mangle, I’m not going to charge her, I’M the one who stuck her in there in the first place.”

You then look from your pet, to the trembling griffon, and then to your bickering Grandbuggy and his friend and look at just how crazy this whole situation is.

"You know this sounds like a joke actually,” you say to break the tension. “A changeling, an alicorn, and a… an Ahuizotl get on a train. They accidentally commit anabduction..." You pause to let everyling laugh, but no one does. "Well a bad joke that is," you say wilting your ears.

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

So after many explanations, apologies, off topic arguments, smacking Mangle with a rolled up newspaper, and even a random bout of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you all manage to get Greta calmed down and up to speed.

“Alright, so by now I’m what? About 8 hours away from Griffonstone?” she asks.

“Sounds about right,” Grandbuggy nods. “Although if you tried to travel right now at night, might actually take you longer.

“And when’s the next stop on this train?”

“Not till tomorrow when we reach the nearest Pony city. We are travelling even further out along the way after all,” Ahuizotl adds.

“Well that’s just perfect!” she grumbles and crosses her arms. “I’ve got no bits, no supplies, no idea where the buck I am.”

“You’ve got wings, you’ll be fine,” Grandbuggy hoof waves.

“Yeah, but that’s still a long trip. I’m not Gabby who can fly over the whole freaking globe with nothing but her mail bag and sugary personality,” she harrumphs.

Looking at her feeling down and cross, you can’t help but feel a little guilty. She’s only in this position because of you after all. But then a lightning strike of inspiration hits you on how to solve the problem.

"Hey, why don't you come with us?"

A few seconds of silence follow your question until you hear Grandbuggy mutter under his breath,

“Oh no not this again" or something like that. You ignore him though as the griffon looks to you in confusion.

"Huh? What do you mean come with you guys?"

“Just what it sounds like, come with us,” you answer plainly.

She looks to your two companions before raising her brow at you.

“And, where exactly are you all going?” You smile brightly at her question before standing on your back hooves while waving your forelegs about in an exuberant fashion.

"We are on a quest of epic proportions to seek out powerful magical artifacts from across the land to use them to bring about a new body for a kind being as old as time!"

A few seconds of silence past after your declaration before the griffon tilts her head.

"Huh?"

Your eye twitches in slight annoyance at that.

How did that totally cool speech go over your head? I thought you loved Video Games!

"We're trying to find magical artifacts. Wanna help?" you say with a deflated sigh.

“Magical artifacts? What like the Idol of Boreas?” she asks.

“Exactly. There’s many others to find just like it…even though we totally DIDN’T find it before that monster attacked, right Grandbuggy?”

“Nope, not at all,” he smiles sheepishly.

“Right, that thing we didn’t find we don’t have,” Ahuizotl adds nervously.

“Okaaaayy,” she says a bit perplexed. “And, well, that sounds cool and everything, but that sounds like something out of a book…”

"Oh, and you can keep any gold or treasure we find along the way. Plus you can see this as a way to return the favor with my Daddy too!" you add, sweetening the deal.

And like that, Greta’s eyes lighten up at the prospect of gaining new wealth before she says,

"Sure! Let's go clear some dungeons!" she says enthusiastically before nervously coughing into her talon at the smirks you’re all giving her.

“I mean, yeah that sounds cool. I do need to make some bits if I wanna get back home. Let’s just…let’s stay out of Bastion if I do travel with you OK?”

“Alright awesome!” you chirp before looking back to Grandbuggy.

“She can come right? We could always use more help, especially if more giant monsters show up. She’s good at fighting those.”

Mangle chuckles at that which causes her to shudder.

“Yeah, let’s avoid those too if we can,” she pleads.

Sighing Grandbuggy shakes his head before walking over to Greta and slapping her on the shoulder.

Kersey475’s Comment

“Well, it’s not like I can say no to her,” he admits.

“You didn’t even try Fix,” Ahuizotl chuckles.

“Eh,” he shrugs. “Still would’ve been futile, she’d have pulled out the puppy dog eyes.

“You know it,” you nod. Grandbuggy then looks at Greta inquisitively.

“You’ve obviously got some skills bird gal, you’re gonna need them if you hang with us. You sure you want to do this?”

“I mean, it’s not like I got anything else going on in my life,” she shrugs.

“Well then, let’s see you put those skills to the test,” Grandbuggy nods.

“What, like right now?” she asks.

“No, not right now,” he grumbles. “I meant when we actually get somewhere…I mean, unless you still got that zero suit I’ve heard about then maybe you could sho-*WHACK*”

You stop his creepiness with a strike upside his Bowler.

“Oi! Watch the hat kid!”

"Why do you keep attacking your Abuelo?" Ahuizotl asks.

"Mommy said to hit him whenever he starts acting weird around mares. She said it's 'Sax-ual Harassment' but I've never seen Grandbuggy anywhere near a saxophone," you shrug.

“Wait, then how do you even know what kind of situation that entails?” asks Greta as she takes a few steps away from Grandbuggy.

“Good rule of hoof, if it would make my Daddy’s nose bleed, then it’s enough to hit Grandbuggy in the head.”

Greta stares at you for a good couple of seconds in contemplation.

“You’ve got a strange family little filly.”

“Heh, Strange is putting it mildly.”

“Indeed,” Grandbuggy huffs. “But before you join us, you might want to wash your face a bit.”

“Huh? Why?” she asks as she looks in the reflection of the window and sees what’s been done.

“WHAT THE BUCK?!”

“SKKREEOOONNKK,” Mangle laughs hysterically.

After washing her face off, and retiring back into your inventory to sleep to avoid being labeled a stowaway by the Ticket Pony, you and Grandbuggy sit together while Ahuizotl snores in his sleep.

You finish writing a letter to your most favorite dragon in the world about your crazy trip to Griffonstone.

…And then I blacked out and we skedaddled before they could ask for bits. This adventure is pretty weird, but also really exciting. I wish you could be here. Tell the Crusaders my story, and tell them I miss them lots. I’ll write again when more fun stuff happens.

Love,
Nightshade.

“You finished writing to your coltfriend?” Grandbuggy asks as you roll the letter up.

“He’s not my coltfriend!” you deny and blush.

“Right, and the hearts above your I’s are just for fun?”

“I dot all my I’s with hearts!” you defend as you focus on the message link spell and send the letter to Spike with a flourish of green fire. He just chuckles at your antics and you frown at him.

“Aren’t you tired Grandbuggy?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he nods. “But I’ll sleep after you do.”

“I kind of already slept all day though,” you pout. “I don’t like wasting time sleeping anymore like when I was little.”

“Yeah, well you’ll have to try or you’ll be groggy and irritable all day tomorrow,” he points out.

“Hmmph,” you snort and look out the window.

“Hmmm,” Grandbuggy ponders for a moment before tapping your shoulder.

“How about this. I’ll tell you a story from my past. That’ll put you to bed.”

You turn and raise your brow at him.

“Any story?”

“Well, any story that’s not above PG-13,” he chuckles and you roll your eyes.

“So come on Shade, what do you want to hear about? I was always the best at telling bedtime stories. If you want something exciting, I could tell you about the time the Doc and I robbed the most impenetrable bank in the Universe.”

“Hmmm,” you think.

“Or if you’re in the mood for something spooky, there’s the time I briefly became a cyber pony.”

“Maybe later,” you say as you are curious about that one. “But actually, I’d like to know more about my Grandparents.”

"I'm right here kid, what you see is what you get" Grandbuggy jokingly responds.

"No, I mean Daddy's mommy and daddy,” you clarify and his face loses his smile.

“Oh…what brought that on kid?” he asks solemnly.

“Well, it’s been something that’s been on my mind ever since I saw that photo Daddy found in the bunker with you and Grandma when she was little. I’ve wanted to know more, but we’ve never had time.” He looks down at that looking a bit nervous.

“And your dad, he never told you anything?”

“Not really. When he first found it he got really sad and his head started hurting, so I kind of stopped asking after that,” you explain.

"Bucking memory-ruining Queen..." Grandbuggy mutters with a flash of anger in his eyes before becoming forlorn.

“Well Nightshade, I guess we’ll be taking a trip down memory lane for this bed time story. What do you want to know?”

“Just…anything about them. I felt like I knew you from all of Dad’s stories before I even met you, but them…I know nothing.”

“…Alright honey. I’ll fill you in,” He sighs and nods at that before turning to look out the window as he begins his tale.

"Well your grandma was my baby girl. She was half-Earth Pony so she had Earth Pony features long red hair and irised blue eyes, not the typical plain blue like we changelings have," he explains before showing his changeling face before going back to his disguise.

"As a 'half-breed' her life wasn't easy in the Hive. She was always trying and working so hard to gain acceptance and fit in, but it was never gonna work. The only reason she even got a leg up at all was because of my status. Hay, outside of me keeping my baby close whenever I could; her only friend was your grandpa."

"What was Grandpa like?" you interrupt.

"He was a lazy, gluttonous, good-for-nothing, dorky, wimp," Grandbuggy snaps, before he catches his breath at your look of confusion and lets out a sad sigh, "No, not's that fair to him. He was a good bug who genuinely loved your grandma. Guess that's just my "protective daddy' instinct still kicking in. Haven't felt that in a while..."

"Now I know where daddy gets it from..." you mutter.

"Anyway, my idiot son-in-law was the 'runt of his litter' and had long since given up on trying to fit in unlike your workaholic grandma. Rather than do any actual work or training, he was a wiseflank slacker who preferred to stuff his face and watch movies."

"What'd he like to eat?" you ask at the mention of food.

"That bigmouth would eat anything, but if you’ve seen yer dad eat you know exactly what his pa liked, Nacos, Dagwoods, and extra-malt milkshakes.”

“Oh yeah, Daddy beat up Caramel for eating his Naco once,” you point out. “So Grandpa liked them too?”

“Eyup. That boy sure did go the extra mile for fatty food, so much so that I’m sure it’s genetic,” he says tussling your mane.

“Can’t deny that,” you nod.

“Your Grandma on the other hoof was a bit healthier, though she always did have a sweet tooth when it came to Candy Granny Smith apples,” he sighs at that. “He always did seem to have a supply of those for her…but yeah, my baby girl had only that glutton for a friend, but they were both outcasts together.”

"So he protected grandma from the bullies?" you say drawing on your knowledge of anime and movies, but Grandbuggy bursts out laughing.

"Him protecting her? Pfft, she was far stronger than that dork and had the temper to match. Thanks to her Earth Pony strength and some tips and training from her elite badflank of a daddy," he brags proudly, "She walloped anyone in the Hive that picked on her or him."

“Oh…that’s quite an image,” you say in bafflement.

“Ya better believe it. That was another reason she was ostracized, the fact that they couldn’t beat her,” he nods.

"So what were Grandma and Grandpa like together?" you ask, your girly side getting the better of you.

"Well most bugs, ponies, griffons, what have you strike out at love several times, Hay I know I have..." he says sadly, "But they hit home runs their first time at bat; They were each other's first and only friend, first date, first kiss, first time, first and only marriage-"

"First time doing what?"

"Your parents will tell you when you're older."

"Why does everpony keep telling me that?!" you exclaim in annoyance.

"Anyway, like most half-breeds, your grandma couldn't fly, walk on walls, or even use disguise magic so she would be used as either a Pack Drone for the rest of the squad or an expendable front-line meat shield when stealth was no longer an option due to their increased toughness compared to normal changelings. That being said, due to her zeal to gain acceptance, her success on the field due to her elite training, and some wing-twisting by yours truly she attained the highest rank ever held by a half-breed in the Hive."

"She was an Officer?"

"Sergeant." Grandbuggy responded flatly, "Not even one of the fancy Sergeant ranks like First Class or even Staff, just basic Sergeant. Chrysallis’s mother would never allow a half-breed to rise any further for her oh so perfect machine."

"That's not fair!" you exclaim.

“No it bucking ain’t,” he agrees. “Ponies aren’t the only speciests in the world kid. She was the best of them, but they put her down just because of who her mother was. She wanted so hard for them to accept her, but that whorse’s doctrines wouldn’t allow for that…I guess that’s why I’ve always had a soft spot for half-breeds.”

You pound your fist in anger at the injustice your Grandmother had to face and grit your teeth.

“Stupid Changelings, not knowing greatness,” you grunt causing Grandbuggy to chuckle.

“Well said kiddo. The hive will get better though, this I know, thanks to your Dad and a scared shrimp of a drone in a few years.”

“Huh?”

“You’ll see in about three years or so,” he says mysteriously.

“Okaaayy…still though, that’s still not fair how they treated her.”

"Heh, you want not fair? Your grandpa had a 100% success rate on all of his missions despite only reluctantly doing the bare minimum of his duty. That boy never made it above Private First Class because he intentionally sabotaged himself so he wouldn’t have to do more work, and yet he was never captured or injured. Heck, I don’t even think he ever really fought at all. Baffled my baby on quite a few occasions, heck it still baffles me” he shakes his head in bewilderment.

"I thought you said he was a lazy slacker? How did he even get into the army?”

"He followed your Grandma naturally,” he explains. “All changelings conscripted for the army are based on their merit, but he just wanted to be near her. He got in despite not being qualified.”

“How?” you ask.

“Not following clichés is how he put it,” he says with a shrug. “Your dad used his movies and shows to base his fighting style on, while your Grandpa used the tropes to not fight.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “That’s how he explained it. Your Grandma told me he would always use his full name instead of his drone number because he claimed it gave him 'Nominal Importance', whatever the buck that means. If ordered to split up, he’d ignore the order and stick/hide behind the strongest squad member, which was usually my baby. Heck, the idiot saved the squad more times than not by forcing a retreat if anyone threw up a “Red Flag.””

“A red…what you mean like someone saying, “What could Possibly Go Wrong?”” you ask, remembering quite a few times Daddy has done just that.

“Exactly. As dumb as that boy was, he knew what to look out for.”

"So Grandpa weaponized being a couch potato?" you conclude.

“Not just weaponized, he used it for his day to day life,” he chuckles. “When they started dating, he’d order my baby chocolates, spaghetti, crepes, and malts with two straws."

"That sounds romantic," you comment, more focused on the food angle.

"That's what your grandma thought at first too... before she realized that idiot would get those for EVERY date meal." he says shaking his head in amusement.

“But despite everything, despite him being a lazy idiot, and her futile quest to reach for the stars, they made each other happy. I was harsh on the boy, and still am apparently, but he was there for my girl when noling else was. Good thing too, because your Grandma was just as dense when it came to romance stuff as your Dad. Took her years before she realized what that runt felt.”

“Yeah, if mares didn’t literally throw themselves at Dad, I don’t think he’d ever get the hint,” you agree.

“That coming from the filly who won’t admit she’s writing love notes to a certain draconic boy,” he trolls.

“Shut Up!” you blush and he chuckles.

“Heh, you’ll figure it out eventually,” he says before looking back out the window. “They weren’t legally allowed to marry, so I did it for them. I’d gotten a license in Las Pegasus on a job way back when so I figured I’d use it. Not long after that, they had your Dad…they were happy with those few years they had with him…”

He trails off looking into the night and you see some wetness catch at the corner of his eye.

“Grandbuggy?” you ask in concern. He sniffles and wipes his eye with his hoof before answering.

“Sorry kiddo, just…just remembering how it ended…”

You wilt your ears at that, because even you can put two and two together. He’s only been talking about them in the past tense.

“The former Queen didn’t like their happiness, it didn’t fit her grand plan, nor did she appreciate her daughter becoming close with your father, a second generation hybrid,” he growls. “She moved events to send them on a suicide mission. A whole unit of changelings wiped out just to be rid of my baby and that boy…And it worked…”

“I’m…I’m sorry,” you mutter as you process that information and he shakes his head.

“Don’t be. Ain’t nothing can be done about it now. Besides, I got even with her in the end,” he says with hard eyes. You don’t ask anything else after that, for fear of opening up more of his emotional scars.

“Still, even with that bitch gone, it didn’t bring them back…They were together until the very end…that’s some small comfort I guess,” he says before he suddenly pulls you into a hug.

“You have a chance at having the life your Dad never had kid, a mother and a father that will be there for you, despite whatever the world and Lady Luck throws at you. We’re gonna get those artifacts kid, and when it’s all over, you’re gonna have the good life.”

You hug the old bug back because he really needs it.

“Thanks Grandbuggy…Thanks for telling me that, even though it hurt. I’m glad you’re with me, just like you were there for Daddy.”

“Heh,” he laughs. “I’m just glad that fool has you in his life…but thanks Nightshade.” You two then stay like that for a good while, and after that emotional roller coaster, you do feel a bit tired. But one thing still claws at the back of your mind.

“Grandbuggy?” you ask.

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“You kept saying Grandma was Half Earth Pony…so does that mean my Great Grandmother was a pony?” He smiles at that and nods.

“Oh you bet she is. Really, she is the only Mare I ever truly loved…I wish things could have been different with her after all the adventures in time and space we had.”

“You met her while you were traveling with the Doctor?” you ask surprised.

“Oh yes…the most beautiful mare in all the universe…” he lets out a sigh at that. “Even after all these years when I glimpsed her at that reunion, she still looks flawless to me.”

“Reunion? Wait, she’s still alive?” you ask in surprise.

“Well of course she’s alive, you’ve met her countless times,” he points out nonchalantly.

“I have?” you ask incredulously.

“Yeah, Granny Smith, you were in her house for months.”

“WHAT?!” you exclaim in shock. “Granny Smith is my Great Grandma?!” He seems surprised by your outburst.

“Wait a second, your Dad didn’t tell you?”

“NO! Daddy knew? How long did…I…” you then flashback to when you found that picture in the Apple’s attic with Young Granny Smith and the Doctor with another mysterious stallion who looks like a younger version of Grandbuggy’s pony guise and when Ruby mentioned you and Applebloom having shared blood.

“Holy Buck, I’m related to the Apples…” you say in shock as a momentous truth lands on your shoulders.

“Gorramit Boy, what were you thinking not telling her,” Grandbuggy grumbles as he facehooves.

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

WARGAMES’s Comment

It’s been a few days since your run in with Gloriosa’s alter ego, and even with that magical stone, you’ve had no luck in finding the portal in Crystal High.

Talking it over with B2, you both realized that if you really want to dig into the place, you’ll both have to explore it Scooby Doo style at night when noling’s watching. You both plan to sneak in this very night, but at this moment you are preoccupied with something far more important.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Oh My-This is-AHAHAHAHAA!!!” you laugh to your heart’s content in the school library at the cat playing a piano on the magical Internet thing.

“Mr. Bugze, this is a library, please keep it down,” Human Twilight shushes.

“I-I can’t help it! He’s playing a piano like a person! AHAHAHAHA!!!”

"I know right? Ha ha ha!" your video watching companion next to you guffaws.

See, I told you you’d find something in the human world to enjoy, Sombra says.

And of course it’s the most time wasting thing in the world. This is the 87^th video you’ve watched Bugze, Selena comments.

There’s just so many cats to watch though! You defend at this glorious find.

“Ok, but can you two keep it down please?” Human Twilight urges as she picks at her salad and reads a book.

“No promises,” you say to her. “Do another, do another,” you command the chuckling human next to you who now puts on a video of a cat failing to jump onto a couch.

The discovery of internet cats came about after you went to find Twilight on her lunch break to see how her plan of vengeance went. Surprisingly, it went pretty well when you consider a teenaged girl hacked the systems for creepy animatronics and set them after her bullies.

Since she’s kind of a loner, and still brings Puppy Spike to school, she eats in the library. You would have probably spent some time eating there and maybe talking to her because she reminds you of you when you were in school…but a pale skinned, blonde human boy had a video of cats jumping away from cucumbers up, and you kind of lost your train of thought and sat down next to him. After so many videos though, the teenaged boy stands up.

“I’m afraid I have to get going Mr. Janitor, but it’s been fun. Don’t forget to look at Dog videos as well,” he instructs as he leaves.

“Will do,” you wave as you click another cat video. “Hey Twilight, who was that guy?”

She rolls her eyes at that, “The prom king himself, Blueblood.”

“That Was Blueblood?!” you ask in surprise and turn to see the boy exiting the library door. “Huh…well, he’s a definite improvement over mine,” you say with a shrug.

“Huh?” Twilight asks curiously.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” you backtrack. “So what are you reading?”

“Oh, just something on the history of unexplained phenomenon in Canterlot over the years.” Your eyebrows raise at that, and you look away from the monitor.

“Oh really?”

“Yes. After hearing you ranting the other day about ancient magical monsters and alternate universes with arcane horses, I got interested on why you would believe in such things so strongly,” she nods and turns a page.

“I-I did?” you ask before your face sinks. “Did I have a beard that day by chance?”

“Actually yes,” she nods. “By the way, why do you feel it necessary to wear a fake beard every few days?” she asks curiously.

“Um…It’s a character tic,” you shrug nervously.

Stupid B2, we’re trying to make sure the hummies DON’T think we’re crazy!

Thankfully you are saved from any other slips of the tongue when another familiar human walks in.

“Hi Twilight,” Cadence waves.

“Oh, hi Cadence,” Twilight waves back, still with her nose in the book.

“Having a good lunch?” she asks.

“Mmhmm,” she nods and holds a thumbs up which causes Cadence to smile and shake her head.

“Alright, well I’ll talk to you later then. Mr. Bugze, could I have a word with you actually?”

“Uh, yeah sure,” you say as you get up from your current cat video and follow the Human version of your friend.

“What did you want to talk about? If this is about that cracked window on the third floor, I really did think that the chewing gum would fix it.”

“No no…I’ll have to look into that later, but no. I just wanted to give you a warning and some advice,” she says suddenly deathly serious.

“On what?” you ask nervously.

“Principal Cinch is back, and she’s wanting to meet you.”

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Oh No! Jerky Authority Figures! Bugze’s Worst Enemy!

Hey Hive Mind,

Sorry about taking so long on this chapter. I waited way too long to see if anyone else would comment instead of just using what I had, and I’m sorry about that. I keep expecting many large comments like in the heyday, but we’ve lost some commentors over the years. I’ll try to not take so long in the future.

Anyway, after a fun romp with our favorite filly, it’s time to control bug boy again, and it looks like Bugze’s going to meet his Evil Human Boss, so what kind of advice can human Cadence give? You decide.

Have fun guys, and remember the time frame. The first movie is still some time off.

I’ll see you on the battlefield Hive-Mind,

Brown Dog.

Episode 21: Meeting the Boss is a Cinch (Not)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

For some reason just hearing the principles name sends shivers down your back.

Principle Cinch...

From what I recall she is a very influential person, and judging on how all the staff seem to shrink away or even stutter incoherently whenever you questioned them about her, that influence was not gained without reason.

Not to mention every student we pass by looks as if they've been marked for execution when they're talking about her makes her a dangerous foe.

Mentally nodding in agreement with the two voices in your head you gulp slightly before asking Cadence with slight hesitation,

"O-oh really? And what does our esteemed principal want with me?"

'esteemed'?

Look we have to keep a low-profile if this Cinch is as dangerous as everybody makes her out to be. I'm all for going against a jerky principle but now's not the time to do so. Sombra merely scoffs at this but you ignore him in favor to listening to Cadence's response.

"Oh its nothing too big, she just wants to meet you is all. She does this with all the new faculty, usually when they're hired but since she was out she's making up for it now."

Despite how she said that cheerfully even your dense buggy mind can tell her smile and tone are fake and strained.

Oh sweet Luna this person is making even Cadence of all people nervous!

Oblivious to your thoughts Cadence gestures down the hall and begins to walk away while saying how she'll bring you to Cinch. As you follow her you look over to Hu-Twilight and see her head is out of her book and that there even seems to be slight amount of concern in her eyes. Not wanting to worry her you just flash hera quick smile before catching up with Cadence.

After being led down a hallway, which you swear was devoid of all light just to create a soul-crushing atmosphere, you and Cadence arrive at two huge and overly decorated doors. Like the rest of the hallway they are grim and dark, and they just exclude oppression and the death of any student's hope of surviving high school undamaged.

So the usual feeling you get when going to meet the principal of a high school, only times ten and on steroids.

Oh dear Luna I'm getting flashbacks to the Hive. It feels like this hallway is sucking any joy I have out of me and using it to keep any sort of light from entering!

This is...quite the demanding feeling this principal likes to have. I'm sure this is all fine for the worm though, considering his past tyrant-hood.

Sombra merely scoffs at Selena's attempt at a jab and doesn't respond. Before you can say anything to either of them Cadence speaks up, this time her voice is even more strained to keep her happy tone in check.

"Here we are. I'm sorry about the lights, but the fuses for them went out awhile ago and we haven't gotten around to fixing them yet."

You just raise your brow at that, which causes Cadence to chuckle nervously before she starts to open the doors. As she does she gives you one last quick look.

"Just a piece of advice, don't speak unless she wants you too. Trust me."

Before you can question her on her advice the doors are fully opened and you see that the oppressive atmosphere is even worse in the room.

In the center of the room is a long desk with a leather chair facing away from you. Before you can question where the principal is a cold voice suddenly sounds out,

"Ah, about time you arrived Mr. Bugze. I was wondering when you would show up."

And like that the chair suddenly turns around to reveal the principal of the school, Cinch. Before you can go on your usual 'ugly human' rant, and let’s face it, this one is the worst one so far, you notice something...off. That something being these strange symbols of oppressive purple and oozing hostility (somehow), floating and shaking around the principal like crazy.

Do you guys see that!?

Yes, she is far older than I thought, physically there is nothing she can do to us.

Your hatred for humans continues to annoy me. Show respect for the elderly.

Oh buck your respect, I meant those menacing words above her.

Hmm, yes. Certificates and awards. She must be a perfectionist. Good catch. Selena nods looking to the many plaques on the wall.

Not those, the floating purple words! You reiterate.

…What are you talking about cockroach?

Bugze, are you seeing things again? Selena asks in concern.

Apparently, you stutter as apparently you’re the only one witnessing the menace. But even still this humie is definitely not normal...

Grey Rebl’s Comment

Thud!

You jump, turning to find the doors slammed shut. And on either side of the door frame, two people stand like guards, preventing exit. There is of course Cadence, who returns you a sheepish smile. And the other…

Your voice almost leaps out of its throat upon recognizing Shining Armor’s manestyle and disciplined stance. Armor’s doppelganger, ignorant to your shock, simply waves one of his hands.

“Don’t mind us.”

You can’t tell if you should feel assured that Cadance is watching your back or afraid that Shining Motherbucking Armor is behind you as well. Either way, though, you can feel the claustrophobia setting in. They have you trapped in. Surrounded. It's like the Arkhay Asylum all over again.

Definitely. Not. Normal.

Focus, Bugze. We can’t have you lose your composure every time you see a familiar face. I'm here for you, remember? You know she’s right, but it’s still a messed up situation.

“S-so, uh,” you gulp, pivoting to face Principal Cinch in all her menacing glory. “Is there something you need from me?”

“In a manner of speaking...” Principal Cinch leans her elbows onto her desk, her chin laid over interlocking fingers. “Tell me: are you aware of where we are?”

“Uh…”

Is this a trick question?

“Crystal Prep Academy?” Principal Cinch nods.

“Indeed.” Then, she turns her leather chair and stands up. She starts walking, slowly, with her hands clasped behind her, prowling around you like a shark would for its prey. You are too afraid to even properly face her, staring dead ahead at the now empty chair. “Winner of dozens of regional and national tournaments, athletic and academic. Boasts the most prestigious members of the Honors Society, highest overall GPA in the region, a high-class rated faculty, and a 100% graduation rate. Perfection.”

By the time her back is turned to you, she stops, and so does your heart. Principal Cinch’s head rotates ever so slightly, enough to give you a narrow sidelong glance. “And it’s my job to make sure it stays perfect. I did my research on you. And I was not impressed with what I found.”

Oh. As if it is life and death, your heart starts beating again. Oh...buck.

“A former rockstar, the Hooded Offender,” Principal Cinch continues. She starts fiddling with her fingernails, as if it is nothing to her. “The kind that millennials would call...edgy these days. Had a substantial following…and then it all ended with a scandal.”

You wince at that last word as if it is the other you standing right where you are now...

“By all rights, the Hooded Offender had disappeared completely. Nobody knows where he had went, for years…Until now that is.” Finally, Principal Cinch faces you fully, and from behind her elegant glasses, her cold and unassuming eyes drill right through you. “I do hope you know what this means?”

By the time you realize the sweat trailing down your neck, you can’t help but inwardly curse Lady Luck for this. History is biting you in the flank again, and for the second time it’s because of a doppelganger from an alternative universe.

Hmm… I will admit, I can respect her thoroughness, Selena says, sounding impressed. It’s a classic method to assert one’s own dominance. I’ve done the same in the past…or at least she did.

Turning my subjects into slaves was far less of a hassle, Sombra rolls his eyes.

You would know, you wannabe tyrant.

Hey! I wasn’t a wannabe, I was the real thing!

Yes, yes… But Bugze, remain calm. So long as her threats remain threats, you are in no danger. We lived through worse after all. We know what it's like...to hold a past that haunts our every waking hour…

Wetting your lips, you mentally nod.

Right… Right. You steady your breath and get as comfortable as you think you’re allowed to be. Time to face the music.
If Principal Cinch noticed your inner change in demeanor, there was only the slightest narrow of her eyes to show it.

“Well?”

“I...left all that behind,” you finally say. “I’d rather not bring that all up again.” A pause. “Especially at work.”

“So you say…” Principal Cinch hardly seems impressed. She rounds back to the other side, but this time, she faces towards a particular shelf, obscured by the shadows. “Good. Because as the member of our staff in Crystal Prep, I expect you to be the utmost professional. Whatever you do here, it reflects on this school.” She pivots around, giving you full view of the shelf, and in the shelf are trophies. Golden and pristine, all fancy with their intricate designs and craftsmanship. Only now do you notice them. “After all, we have a reputation to keep. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes.” You nod. “Of course.” She narrows her eyes. “O-oh, um… Yes, ma’am,” you correct. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Then I’ll hold you to your word, Mr. Bugze. I care not if you’re going by that pseudonym instead of your real name, but if I hear from you of any shenanigans, any disturbances, I will not hesitate to be rid of you.” Principal Cinch sneers. “Goodness knows my precious school doesn’t need another degenerate of a janitor. Proper janitors are hard to come by these days.”

Horror creeps up your spine. Selena was right, she is a perfectionist. The kind that’ll never be satisfied with your work no matter what you do. The kind that you bet only Grey Rebl would be crazy enough to kiss. And so at that moment, you realize that your time in Crystal Prep Academy has gotten a whole lot harder.

Despite yourself, a whimper escapes your mouth.

I am bucked.

Just_another_guy’s Comment

Kichi’s Comment

“I’ll…I’ll be a proper janitor ma’am. Nothing will happen from me.”

“Excellent,” she nods as she sits back down and crosses her fingers in front of her. “Because I will not have the taint of your past scandal infect my Academy.”

After the word scandal leaves her mouth, you hear Shining Armor whisper behind you,

"Every single celebrity nowadays has one of those."

“Yeah…but I remember that one all too well,” Cadence responds, sounding a bit sadly for some reason.

As much as you would love to turn around and kindly ask him to shut the buck up, you are still preoccupied by Cinch’s gaze.
“Now that you know your position, let me reiterate to you the guidelines and standards to which our employees are held to. I doubt that parasite Scruffy gave you any real mentoring.”

She then opens up her drawer and pulls out a stack of papers as she adjusts her glasses and goes into lecture mode.

“Now, our modus operandi at this prestigious academy, is excellence, perfection, and-“

Oh gods, I can’t handle a lecture right now, you whimper.

Neither can I. You can pay attention to that blabbering, I’m going to listen in on the human counterparts of my usurpers gossiping, Sombra says.

What do you think you’re doing? Selena asks as you hear what sounds like a chair scraping on the floor.

“Of course that doesn’t factor in the non paid lunch, only when you’ve worked for at least six months will those be included…”

Moving further back so I can hear them better.

Since when did we agree to let you wander about freely?! Selena berates, sounding like a mother- oh wait she is.

Never Sombra says matter of factly.

Then what exactly are you doing Right Now?

Making myself useful, I'm not wandering as you put it, he grunts.

“And that brings us to paid time off. You are only allotted 7 days for the first six months, but as you’re being paid under the table as it were, I would be sparing on not showing up…”

And how is there gossip useful?

Because…he pauses thinking. Because the roach will have eyes in the back of his head…yeah…

Likely story. You stay right here and

Oh just let him go Selly, it’s too late for us to escape…you think in melancholy as Cinch’s lecture blends and blurs.

“Blah blah blah blah blah,” is all you hear from her.

But Bugze, she tries to argue.

I’ve got permission! Sombra says giddily and pushes further into your mind.

Oh for crying out loud, Selena grumbles. The least he could have done is suffer with us.

Maybe she’s right, but your fear and disconnection at Cinch’s droning lecture makes you feel hollow.

"Blah Blah Blah Pride of Crystal Prep…Blah Blah Blah, inferior Wondercolts... Blah Blah Blah Canterlot High... Blah Blah Blah Our great champions... Blah Blah Blah..." she continues to drone, though you only catch every other word.

"Blah Blah Blah..." she continues until she is interrupted by the ring of a phone. Without missing a beat, she picks the phone up.

“Blah blah blah? Oh…blah blah blah.” She then looks to you with the mouth guard covered. “Blah blah blah, don’t forget my warning, blah.”

She then continues to chat on the phone, but you are too zoned out to think of anything else. Suddenly a familiar multicolored haired dean appears in your vision.

"Blah Blah Blah Blah?" she asks. When you don’t answer she waves a hand in front of your face and looks worried.

She glances at the preoccupied Cinch and back to you.

“Blah blah?” Again you don’t answer. She then disappears from your view while Cinch still talks on her phone, not looking in your direction.

A few moments later, Cadence returns with a glass of water, which she promptly throws in your face.

"What? When? Where?" you sputter, but she puts a hand over your mouth and holds a finger to her lips, gesturing her head towards the menacing principal. You nod and she gestures for you to stand up and follow her. You do so and as you pass Shining Armor, he gives you a thumbs up and mouths, “Good job.”

Puzzling Frost’s Comment

Before you pass through the door into the safety of the hallway though, Cinch speaks up.

“One more thing Mr. Bugze.”

You turn around and see her cupping the mouthpiece and glaring at you.

“If I hear anything of you messing with my students. There will be...” ,Cinch’s hand clenches into a fist, “....consequences.”

You nod dumbly and she gestures with her head for you to leave, and you do so. Once outside, you, Selena and Sombra all simultaneously mutter

“Freaky.”

As Cadence closes the door behind you, you hear her giggle.

“That’s one way to put it.”

“Sooo, what exactly happened? Did her menacing floating words get to me?” She seems confused at your words, but she just smirks.

“No, I’m pretty sure your mind just shut down as a self defense mechanism. I’ve seen it plenty of times with students, she has that effect on people.”

“Right…holy crap she’s scary. How can Scruffy even get away with being himself?”

“Tenure,” Cadence rolls her eyes. “He’s one of the few “blemishes” she can’t get rid of. But anyway, you’ve seen how she is, now you know not to be on her bad side.”

“Yeah…”

Looking for that portal is going to be harder if she’s breathing down my neck…B2 and I have to be extra careful tonight.

“I just wish she wouldn’t bring up the other m…My past like that. How the heck did she even find out so quickly?” you say sadly and Cadence bites her lip with a guilty look on her face.

Huh, wonder what that look is for?

Oh I know, heh heh heh. I heard aaaaallll the gossip, Sombra chuckles.

What do you mean scum? Selena demands, but all he does is laugh.

“Well either way, glad she didn’t just fire you outright. I think we should both get back to work.”

“Yeah,” you nod and begin to walk down the hallway.

“Oh, and Bugze?” she calls out causing you to turn around.

“Yes?” you ask. She has a look on her face as if she wants to say something, but then shakes her head and says, “I still enjoy your music. Just thought I’d let you know.”

“Oh…uh…thanks,” you say nervously. She then nods herself.

“Yeah…I’m just gonna, you know, get back to work,” she says as she walks to her office rather quickly.

“Right, me too,” you agree and walk on.

Well that was sure weird. I wonder what that was all about.

She’s under the influence you used to date her aunt who was in your band all those years ago, and is upset you don’t recognize her from when she was little, Sombra says giggling like a schoolfilly.

Wait What? Both you and Selena ask.

Your human counterpart, the musician. She knew him because he was with her aunt.

You got all that by listening to her and her husband whispering? Selena asks aghast.

Told you it was a great idea, he smirks.

Oh…OH…you say as you come to the conclusion. Cadence’s aunts in the real world are Celestia and Luna, so they’d be the same in this world. And there was only one of them that was in B2’s band.

Human Luna going under Nightmare Moon…Dang it B2, why do you have to have rockstar drama? It’s making my job much harder, you mutter.

Shaking your head from these thoughts you sigh.

“I’ll have to talk with him about that later. First things first though, if I want to break into the school to search tonight, I’m going to have to do something about the cameras and electric locks, and for that, I’m going to need a humie tech wiz.

After returning to your job, you wait until the final bell rings before you seek out Hu-Twilight.

“Oh hi. Glad to see you got out of their unscathed,” she says smiling.

“Barely,” you mutter. “Listen, you hacked those animatronics for revenge on those girls right?”

She looks around shiftily before nodding.

“Good…Can I ask you for a favor then?”

“Sure, what is it?” she asks.

“I kind of, sort of, need to break into the school after hours…”

“…Uh, what?” she sputters.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

Author's Notes:

Well that went better than expected. At least nothing's been set on fire...yet.

Hey Hive-Mind,
Sorry for the slight delay, but as the blog said, it was too freaking hot to write. It's what I get for living in a giant frying pan I guess, but still. Anyway, the temperatures are back to chilly low 110's, so that shouldn't be an issue for awhile

Have fun everyone, and I'll see you all next chapter,

Brown Dog.

Episode 22: Breaking and Entering, All the Cool Kids Do It

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR7qwu8grWo

The confused Human Twilight just looks at you flabbergasted at your declaration. It’s a look that screams, “Blasphemy!”

Oh right, Twilight in any world is a learning nerd…but they say honesty is the best policy, you shrug.

The only one who says that is that hick cousin of yours who’s tried to kill you since day one, Selena grumbles, upset at your stupidity.

Oh yeah…Well it’s too late now, she already knows too much.

With that, you cough nervously into your filthy hand and explain,

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

"Well, you see Twilight, I need to sneak into the school after hours-" Twilight shakes her head back and forth interrupting you.

"No no no no! Why do you need my help to break into the school!? Actually, a better question is why do you need to break into the school in the first place?!"

You chuckle nervously at Hu-Twilight's outburst, and as you do you can hear Selena sighing in your head,

Did you honestly think she wouldn't react like this? Given her personality it’s a surprise she didn't immediately go to another faculty to rat you out.

Hey, Humie-Light's a lot of things but she isn't someone who would rat out a person in need...I think. Besides I already have a back up plan in mind!

And what’s that?

Stromboli! How do I convince an outraged party to do my bidding?

Ahahahahahahaaa, Sombra continues to laugh as he has for the past few minutes at your doppleganger’s misfortune.

…That was your plan? Selena says exasperated.

No, that was my backup plan, and clearly it’s failed! You panic as Hu-Twilight looks to you for answers.

“Uhhh…” you stammer before you catch out of the corner of your eye the disheveled, and still frightened looking bullies from before. Whatever Twilight did to them at that haunted animatronic house clearly left a mental mark.

That’s it!

“It’s simple really kid. I need to prank those bullies too,” you lie as you point to their retreating forms.

She looks confused at that, so you continue.

“Puppy endangerment doesn’t just deserve one mentally scarring prank Twi, it needs several. Those girls have to go through enough trauma that when they even think about you, the blood drains from their faces and they have flashbacks.”

She blinks and slightly backs away from your enthusiasm over mentally scarring teenager.

“That sounds…rather intense…” she sputters, but you press on with your lie.

"Look Twi, I do not like bullies, at all. In fact if I were to compare bullies to the worst thing you can think of, the level of hate you would have for that thing wouldn't even compare. So while you may have gotten revenge on them, I still need to teach them a lesson!"

Surprisingly, instead of looking at you more like a crazy person for your sense of logic, Hu-Twilight just nods her head slowly at your explanation.

"I...I guess that makes sense Mr. Bugze, from an emotional standpoint at least," she rationalizes which causes you to blink in slight surprise.

Huh, weird, I figured she would have yelled about morals or something like the real Twilight usually does and I’d have to wear her down by reminding her of past bullying sessions.

I truly am starting to believe that you are a bad influence on this human girl.

What's that supposed to mean!? I'm a perfectly good influence, just look at how nicely Nightshade turned out, you shoot back.

“So are you bucking telling me that Applejack and Daddy have been cousins this whole time?!” Nightshade shouts in disgust, waking up several folks on the train.

“Yeah, your Grandma and Granny Smith’s eldest son were half-siblings,” Grandbuggy nods.

“But…But…Applejack is one of those crazy stalker mares! She’s KISSED Daddy before! BLEH! Oh cheese and rice WHY?!” she starts gagging and shaking her head.

“Because lazy anime tropes don’t translate well into real life kid. Something your Dad hasn’t quite figured out yet,” Grandbuggy shakes his head in disappointment.

“Oh gods! That means Braeburn’s my cousin too, and I thought he was handsome! I also used Big Mac as Mare Kryptonite in my revolution…AAAAAAHHHH!!!” Nightshade screams as her eyes turn white and she rushes out of the private room. Ahuizotl wakes up from all the noise and looks to Grandbuggy.

“What is all that about amigo?”

“GIVE ME THE BUCKING PASTRY CART! I need a bunch of sugar to scrub my mind clean!!!” her voice yells from further down the train.

“Alright alright, please don’t hurt me, I have a family,” whimpers the no doubt bewildered train employee.

“Don’t say the word family to me right now! It’s unclean at the moment and needs fixing! Omnomnomnomnom!!!” come the unmistakable sounds of a pig out session.

Grandbuggy just facehooves before putting on his pony guise and walking out the door.

“Just some mental trauma that’s been a long time coming because of my boy’s stupidity. Just go back to sleep Ahzi, I’ll deal with this before she eats the hole train dry.”

“Pie for the Pie God! Cakes for the Cake Throne!” she screams, stuffing said two deserts into her mouth.

You decide to ignore the heavy feeling ironic dread that suddenly hits you, but you do let out a tiny shudder.

I’ll deal with whatever that was later, you think in slight melancholy.

Human Twilight then puts her hand to her chin in thought.

“But Mr. Bugze, if you sneak into the schools after hours, even if I helped you, there’s still the risk of you getting found out. You just talked to Principal Cinch, so you know you don’t want to get on her bad side.

“Oh right, her…” you nod and fumble for an excuse. “Well, I, uh…Pranking those whorses is one thing, but I also need to make sure Cinch doesn’t have any blackmail on B2-I mean me!"

“Huh?” she raises a brow. “What do you mean by Ms. Cinch might have blackmail on you?"

At Twilight's innocent look you can't help but chuckle awkwardly.

"Ah, well let’s just say she dug up some things from his-MY past that I’d rather not get out, and I'm not exactly comfortable with her having said information on hand."

Who knows what will happen if I step out of line and she decides to use B2's past as a way to make me do something. I've yet to be blackmailed into doing something so far in my life, and I'd like to keep it that way thank you very much!

I do believe you just jinxed yourself.

…Oh Gorammit!

Twilight seems a bit taken aback, but her more rational persona takes the front.

“Okaaaayyy…I’m not going to ask about what THAT entails, but unless she has a big folder with all your secrets in it like in a movie, you’re not getting rid of that info by sneaking in.”

“What? Why not? And why wouldn’t she have a large folder?”

“Because she has a computer?” Twilight says as if it’s obvious.

“What? You mean the magic cat video box? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“…Are you serious?” she asks befuddled, but at the look on your face she comes to understanding. “You are…how are you so behind technologically-wise?”

“Because my world hasn’t gotten off it’s lazy flank and made the interwebs I guess,” you respond.

“What?”

“Nothing! So wait, the Inter-computer thing has more than funny videos?”

“Yes! It’s a global network of information sharing that’s steadily progressed over the last 30 years. You have an E-Reader for heaven’s sake, how do you not know this?” she demands.

“I thought it was just for books,” you shrug and wilt back. “But if what you say is true, then I guess dismantling the entire Compu-Net is out of the question?”

She just gives you a blank, dumbfounded stare.

“I’ll take that as a yes…Gorramit!” you spit.

Stupid hummies, always muddling up my ingenious plans.

The plans you came up with not 30 seconds ago as an excuse to look for a magic portal? Selena rolls her eyes.

…Okay, they weren’t ingenious, but still, it’s the principle of the matter!

“Well if that plan is out, I’m still going to break in, and now you’ll have even more incentive for helping me right? So that I can prank your bullies and not get fired and have my past smeared over the school?”

“I…I guess I could still help,” she mutters looking away. “But I myself don’t want to be on Cinch’s radar.”

“Oh you’ll be fine. Just science me up something to get past the cameras and electronic locks, and they’ll never know it was you.” She looks to you and raises her brow again.

“You want me to make some sort of portable electrical disrupter device by tonight?”

“Ummm…Yeah?” you guess. She then looks up in thought, doing mental math.

“I suppose I could crank that out, though I’d have to cannibalize parts from Dad’s ham radio and the drone Cadence gave Shiny for his birthday…”

“Cool, so yeah, make that up, show me how to work and I’ll get those girls good for you,” you smile.

“OK,” she nods, “But you are going to take other precautionary methods right? Like gloves?”

“Why would I need gloves? It’s not cold,” you ask confused.

“So you won’t leave fingerprints when those girls no doubt complain about whatever you’re going to do?”

Master of Shadows’s Comment

“Finger Prince?” you ask in slight disgust, imagining a human with crown in a room surrounded by hands.

Oh gods, it’s Lyra’s fantasy come to life, you shudder.

Again, Twilight gives you that look as if you’re the most sheltered person in the world.

“Uh, yeah? Fingerprints? The unique identifying marks at the end of your fingers?”

“Wait, for real?” you say as you bring your wriggly appendages up to your face and look at them closely. Sure enough, on the tips of each one are unique swirl patterns you’ve never noticed before.

“Wow…these things get more and more disgusting the longer I stay here,” you gag and pull them downward while Twilight just stares at your antics.

“So what you’re saying is these things can be left behind if I don’t wear gloves?”

“…Yes?” she says, still mystified.

“Well alright then, I’ll just burn everything I touch,” you say rationally.

“What?!” Twilight gasps.

“I don’t like the feeling of gloves on these spidery things, so if I just burn everything, then there’s no evidence left behind, easy peasy.”

Twilight looks perturbed by you now and you hear Selena sigh heavily once again.

Ugh, when will people in ANY universe recognize how beautiful and natural fire is? You complain.

“…Ok, I’ll help you break in after hours, but on one condition,” she says after awhile.

“Yeah, name it,” you say happily.

“You have to take me with you.”

...

...

...

What!?

Twilight went on to explain that she didn’t want you burning down the school, so she was going to help you make your job easier by going with you. You didn’t really have any room to negotiate, though it did bring up an interesting point when discussing this with B2.

“So wait, that kid is going to tag along with us?”

“Yeah,” you nod.

“Dude, how are we going to keep up the ruse of being one person if she finds out? She’s smart, I bet she’s already figured it out,” he panics.

“Don’t be so sure, with the power of disguises, anything is possible.”

“Disguises don’t hide voices and physical traits well, especially when we’re side by side,” he points out.
“You’d be surprised,” you smirk and tell him about all the times you’ve become a new person with just a few random clothes.

“…Are the horses in your world just that dumb?”

“Generally? Yes, I do think so,” you nod. “So we’ll dress you up, and I’ll meet her and you’ll be an acquaintance or something and-“

“I don’t want to,” he says crossing his arms.

“What?”

“I said I don’t want to. I’m the human native in this world, you’re the visitor, why don’t YOU dress up?”

Just_another_guy’s Comment

“But I do that ALL the time, I was getting used to walking around normally, even if I do look butt ugly.”

“You’re wearing some anime character clothing right now.”

“Shut up, this coat is awesome!” you defend.

He crosses his arms again and gives you a defiant look.

“My planet, my rules. If I’m going to risk the first job I’ve had in a long time trying to find your stupid portal, then I call who goes in disguise.”

“Ugh! Fine!” you huff and thump yourself onto the couch angrily.

Stupid B2. I’m not going to tell you that info about Cadence now until I’m less upset with you.

That’s pretty petty Bugze.

Yes. Yes it is, you agree.

Your mood doesn’t get any better when B2 produces the disguise for you.

“You’re kidding right?” you ask.

“Nope. Found these for cheap at the Goodwill since you decided to blow almost all our dough on that stupid campsite!”

“I had to screw over Human Filthy Rich, and I felt bad for beating up that lady!” you defend.

“Well, either way, here’s your punishment,” he says with a smirk as you look down at the clothes.

…Dear Luna I am petty.

We now find you and B2 in front of Crystal Prep at night, waiting for Twilight while you wear your new “disguise.”

It’s a black bandana with green leaves on it, similar to a cutie mark you saw at the hippie camp, and it is being worn around your gross human mouth.

Come to think of it, it smells like hippie too. Bleh.

On the rest of your body is a thin dark green rain coat with a hood that can easily be folded up and put into your pocket in case you have to run and disguise yourself quickly.

“I look like a freaking serial killer,” you complain.

“I know right?” B2 chuckles and you role your eyes.

“Alright, I get it. Jokes on me,” you huff. “Now focus. You’ll be in charge of pranking those bullies’ lockers and distracting Twilight while I look for the portal.”

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice,” he says holding up a dufflebag full of shaving cream, glitter, and some sort of small improvised explosive device.

“I’m going to have a field day cleaning up this mess tomorrow, but it will so be worth it,” he chuckles.

“Alright good, but remember what I told you. Stay away from the Cinch lady. She’s terrifying,” you warn and he hand waves your concern.

Oh, he’ll find out soon enough, Selena reassures you, sounding a little snarky.

After awhile of waiting, and B2 taking pics of you and laughing, Human Twilight finally appears…and what she’s wearing catches you both off guard.

Kichi’s Comment

“Uh, Twilight, what the heck are you wearing asks B2.”

“Well since we’re sneaking in, I felt I needed a sneaking disguise, and this was the closest thing I had,” she says gesturing to herself.

“That’s a Catwoman outfit,” B2 points to the black outfit with a mask and cat ears on top.

“It’s the only dark clothing disguise I had,” she harrumphs. “It’s from when me and Shining went to comic con when he was Batman and Cadence was Robin.”

Puppy Spike then takes that moment to pop his head out of her bag, and he’s also disguised with a mask.

“…OK, I’m not even going to touch that one,” B2 shudders, and you can’t help do the same.

Catwoman? Selena huffs in disgust. It’s CatMARE you filthy peasant. Catmare!

Not on this world it isn’t, Sombra chuckles.

I took my name from that wonderful character, and I will not see her sullied by…whatever the Tartarus that is.

Am I the only one creeped out by the implications of Shining and Cadence being Batmane and Robin together?

…Well now you’re not, Selena gags.

“Um, who’s this?” Twilight asks nervously pointing at you and you pull yourself from your internal conversations.

“Oh, that’s my cousin, Smokey Joe,” B2 says with a chuckle causing you to glare. “He’s going to help us out.”

“Oh…OK. Do you always dress like that?” she asks.

“It’s a disguise kid, and quite frankly it’s more subtle than yours,” you point out, changing your voice slightly.

“It’s all I had!” she repeats before looking to B2.

“But at least I am disguising myself, what about you Mr. Bugze? I don’t think the fake beard will cover you much since you wear it to work so often.”

“Right…fake beard,” B2 ruefully scratches at his lush full beard. “But don’t worry, I got that covered.” He then pulls out a set of fake oversized glasses and puts them on.

“Really? That’s it?” Twilight asks in deadpan.

"Well, if it works for Superman, it can work with me" he declares.

SuperMANE! Ugh! Selena growls, echoing your sentiments.

“But this isn’t a comic book,” Twilight argues.

“Again, you’re dressed as Catwoman,” he responds.

“Ugh, fine,” she huffs and reaches into her bag pulling out some sort of weird science fiction looking gizmo.

“Hopefully these disguises won’t be needed though with my latest invention. Are you two ready?”

You both nod and she leads the way to the front entrance. She then presses several buttons on the device, and the electronic lock sputters out and dies. Looking through the door into the hallway, the red light on the closest camera is also dead.

“We’re in,” Twilight says mischievously before giggling. “I always wanted to say that.”

You all then go in, and while B2 and Twilight head for the lockers, you start examining every nook and cranny of the school that you can. You even hold aloft the Magic rock sliver you took from Gloriosa, but nothing happens.

“This is such Bullspit! Where the buck is that portal?” you grunt as you slam closed the refrigerator in the cafeteria.

Bugze, it might be time to consider that perhaps the portal isn’t here, Selena chimes in.

No, that’s impossible! It has to be here! You shoot back. Otherwise I have no idea where to look for it.

I understand that, but it might be the case.

But Jack said that things mirror our world. Simba had it in the Crystal Empire, so it HAS to be here in Crystal Prep. Wait…I never checked Cinch’s office before! You perk up and rush towards the Principals office.

After entering the deactivated door, you flip on a light and view the interior of her office.

“It’s gotta be here! It’s got to!” you say in determination as you start pawing through her stuff. You handle all the trophies and certificates, but nothing seems magical in nature at all.

“…WHY ISN’T IT HERE?!” you shout and stomp your feet.

A thought occurs to me, Sombra speaks up.

What? What amazing thoughts do you have you dang Hummie?! You ask aggressively.

I took the mirror in my secret conquest of treasures before I was banished. In this world, I was apparently a musician, so the other me had money. Perhaps my doppelganger might have it if he lives.

“…That’s actually a very valid point,” you say in shock.

Indeed. Why did I not think of it?

Because you’re too busy swaddling the idiot to think for yourself, he says jerkishly, which ruffles her feathers.

“Alright, calm down,” you reprimand. “I’m trying to compliment you here Smokey, no need to be a jerk. But yeah, if the mirror isn’t here then maybe your washed up rocker self might have it…but that just begs the question of where the heck he’s at.”

The only lead we have is your human self. He would know him better than anyone, Selena exposits and you nod.

“Right…hopefully B2’s up for searching for his former band mate. I just don’t know about meeting another Sombra though, will this one be all annoying as well and be a big fan of ponies or something?”

Hey! He barks and you chuckle.

“But yeah, looks like we gotta look for Smokey’s double if we want to find that mirror…let’s get out of here before we get in trouble first though.”

You then gingerly make your way back to the row of lockers you left Twilight and B2 at, and judging by their smirks, their prank booby trap has successfully been set.

“Hey man, you missed the set up. Find anything?” he asks.

“No,” you slump your shoulders and he looks concerned. “But I do have another possible lead. I’ll let you know about it later though.”

He nods before looking back to Twilight.

“So the cameras and locks will just come back on once we exit?”

“Yup,” she nods enthusiastically. “Once I press this button, the systems won’t even register that anything was wrong.”

“Well alright then, let’s roll,” B2 takes charge and leads you all out the door.

Once outside, Twilight activates her device, and the electronic locks come back on line, as do the cameras, just like she said.

Hmmm, you ponder and look at the magic stone in your hand.

What are you thinking my bug? Asks Selena.

Just an idea. This Twilight can put together some nifty contraptions…maybe we can get her to make a magic finder or something. We’ll have to look into it later.

After bidding adieu to Hu-Light, you and B2 hop on the back of the motorized scooter and head back to your library “Home.”

“So, you didn’t find the portal huh?” he asks.

“No, unfortunately.”

“Well that sucks…but you said you had a lead?”

“Yeah, and really I’m going to need your help finding it.”

“Oh?” he asks intrigued.

“Yes. Do you know where your Sombra is?”

He nearly swerves off the road with that one, before righting himself and gritting his teeth.

“…I know where that SOB was last when he refused to help an old friend off the street, yes…Oh God, don’t tell me he’s your lead?”

“Well…”

He groans and shakes his head.

“Damn You Lady Luck,” he mumbles.

After two days of train travel, you are dealing with the revelation that your extended family is much bigger than you thought relatively well.

“Stupid Daddy for not telling me!” you grumble. “We could have had Hearth’s Warming celebrations with the rest of our kin.”

Greta is still stowed away in your Inventory so as not to be kicked off the train, and Ahuizotl and Grandbuggy look out the window in earnest for your next stop.

“Shouldn’t be long now kid,” Grandbuggy speaks up, pulling you out of your pouting. “End of the line’s coming up.”

“Oh goody,” you grumble and cross your arms.

“Come on kid, don’t be like that. It’s been two days.”

“So? Dad didn’t tell me the truth, of course I’m gonna still be upset. What makes it worse is that I can’t write to Spike to tell Applebloom because that would blow our stupid cover. Ugh!”

Ahuizotl looks to Grandbuggy nervously and mutters, “Yikes.”

“Alright I get it Shade, but don’t just Grumble in self pity, chew your Dad out when we see him again. Right now we got focus on the mission.”

“Fine…” you roll your eyes, though inside you are still very upset. “What’s this dumb place called again?”

“Well, it’s a fairly new settlement that doesn’t really have a name yet, built by a bunch of ponies living off the grid. So probably your typical hippie settlement.” He punctuates that last statement with a spit to the ground.

“It doesn’t have a name?” you ask in actual curiosity.

“Well, not a proper one anyway. The food and lumber suppliers said these hippies kept referring to it as “Our Town.”

“R Town?” Ahuizotl asks.

“No, O-U-R Town. Stupid name if you ask me,” he shrugs.

And as he says that, the train pulls to a stop at a lonely platform in the middle of nowhere.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-nG9n_s4jI

Author's Notes:

Oh Look at that, a still in development Equality Cult? Probably won't be creepy at all

Hey Hive-Mind,

Didn't have too many comments, so I pushed the plot forward more. I get it, new territory in EQG land is spooky, but trust me, when we next get back to bug boy, relevant plot points will happen.

Until then though, let's travel with Nightshade to a creepy ass cult that for realsies, totally has the Staff of Mage Meadowbrook...Right?

Have Fun Everyling,

Brown Dog

Episode 23: A Cult By Any Other Name

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTbB703XZFM

After getting off the train, Grandbuggy leads you, Ahuizotl and Mangle off on what can scarcely be called a road.

“There’s not even any signs or anything, are you sure there’s something out here Grandbuggy?” you ask looking at the desolate looking landscape full of rocks.

“I’m pretty sure. The delivery orders Ahzi gave specify it.”

“Why do you even have records of this middle of nowhere place?” you ask Ahuizotl.

“Because little one, the minute I heard of somepony wielding the Staff of Mage Meadowbrook, I had to get all the info I could. It’s only a matter of time before Daring Do hears the same rumors.”

“And what’s so special about this staff?” you ask.

“Well Medaowbrook was this mare that lived about a thousand years ago, real cute, had an alluring accent,” Grandbuggy says in nostalgia before shaking his head. “And she was really good at whipping up cures for pretty much everything, so if these hippies have something that belonged to her, I’d think it could be helpful.”

“Wait, you think? Don’t you know?”

“Not exactly, it’s actually something I never even knew existed,” he admits.

“Huh?”

“The mare was an earth pony and I never really heard about her using magic items before. But then again she hung around with beardo and the rest before they blew up, so who knows?” he ponders. You stop at that.

“Wait, is this thing even on the list Jack gave us?”

“Actually…no,” Grandbuggy admits and you scowl.

“Then why the buck are we here then?”

“Oi, when it comes to artifacts, the more the merrier. Besides, maybe this thing will help your Ma have a healthy immune system or something, I don’t know,” he shrugs. Letting out a sigh you roll your eyes at him.

“That’s a weak justification, but we’re already here so fine. But next time, let’s just stick with the stuff we know we need to get.”

“Alright fine, take the fun out of relieving my glory days why don’tcha?” he grumbles.

Eventually you all crest a ridge and in the distance you spot a drab looking town that appears to still be under construction.

“Huh. They got more permanent looking structures than your usually tree huggers,” Grandbuggy says.

“I don’t even see any trees Fix,” Ahuizotl points out.

“…Good point.”

“It looks so freaking boring there,” you voice your opinion. “I mean heck, as much as it was a dump, even Griffonstone had more colors to look at.”

And as you say that…

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

Kichi’s Comment

Your eyes suddenly widen in realization.

"Oh buck, I almost forgot!"

While Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl give you weird looks, you quickly open your inventory and pull out Greta...whose face is once again covered in markings, courtesy of one mechanical fox who laughs from your back.

"Sorry Greta, I almost forgot you where in there!" you apologize. Greta just sighs as she brushes off herself before she says,

"It's no problem, that place is really comfy for some reason so I got to take a pretty good nap. How long was I out?"

“Well, we’re already at our destination, so awhile,” you say pointing to the distant town.

She peers at the buildings and scowls.

“Yeesh, you think some color would kill them?”

“I know, right?” you agree before you try to suppress a snicker. The drawn on glasses with her squinting is actually pretty humorous. You’re not the only one, Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl also hold back their laughter, but barely.

"What's with the looks? Something on my face?" Greta asks noticing all your strained faces and slight chuckling.

You, Grandbuggy, Ahuizotl and Mangle all look at each other before you calm down and shake your heads as one.

"Nope!"

She stares at you all and your odd behavior for a bit before she shrugs and starts walking ahead.

"Whatever, come on this town ain't gonna lost its treasure by itself ya know?"

When she is a little ways ahead, the four of you put your heads together in a huddle and start laughing as quietly as you can.

“Oh my gosh Mangle,” you chuckle and pet the laughing fox.

“I thought glasses were supposed to make you look smart,” Grandbuggy guffaws.

“And that “L” on her forhead, Oh! I have to remember to use that the next time I capture Daring Do,” Ahuizotl giggles.

“Are you dorks coming or not?” Greta calls.

“Yeah yeah, be there in a second Harry Trotter,” Grandbuggy cat calls.

“Huh?”

“Nothing! *Giggle* He said nothing,” you snicker as you walk ahead towards the poor confused Griffon.

After a few more rounds of snorted laughter and an increasingly agitated and confused Griffon gamer, the five of you enter the dreary town and garner the attention of the equally drab looking residents and…Well…

Kichi’s Comment

Zapper frost’s Comment: CREEPY WELCOMES FOR EVERYONE

"Welcome!" a pale stallion says with a massive toothy smile.

"Welcome!" says a grayish mare with an equally big set of chompers.

"Welcome!" "Welcome!" "Welcome!" "Welcome!" every pony around says in the same tone as you all stop in the middle of the road.

"I feel like I need an adult" Greta shudders looking at all the wrong looking happy faces.

“I know what you mean,” Grandbuggy nods. “Them smiles ain’t right. I’d feel more welcome stepping back into The Hive.”

“I’ve been in traps that didn’t make me feel as uneasy as this,” Ahuizotl agrees.

You don’t answer them as your are giving a thousand yard stare shaking in remembrance.

This is…This is almost the same.

The smiling faces, the Town in the middle of nowhere, and even the cutie marks. Flicking your eyes over everyone, you see that they all have the same cutie mark. Everyone, from the adults to the children all have the same equal sign cutie mark. They’re not blank, but they are all still the same. With this realization, your pupils shrink even more as the horrifying truth washes over you.

This is just like Sunny Town.

Down with Chrysalis’s Comment

“Alright you guys, just keep your heads about you,” Grandbuggy instructs. “Even if they’re creepy, they’re all just hippies in the end. Now, let’s keep moving forward and-“

"Nope."

Grandbuggy falters in his step as he looks back at you.

"Nope? What do you mean by that?"

You just point at the smiling ponies with a deadpanned look and repeat yourself.

"Nope."

"Really Nightshade?” he says in disbelief. “Sure their smiles are just screaming bad touch, but I doubt it'll be that bad. I mean when you think about it real-where are you going?!"

While Grandbuggy was talking, you had started on your way back to the train stop and at his question you turn around, stick your tongue out and shout.

"NOPE!" And with that you start marching back out of town.

The creepy towns ponies, Grandbuggy, Ahuizotl and Greta look at your retreating form in confusion for a bit before Grandbuggy sighs and facehooves.

"I guess we have to do things the hard way then...”

Your little group of five reenters the town and needless to say, the creepy smiles falter slightly at the sight of you tied up, struggling and screaming on your Grandbuggy’s back.

“THEY’RE GOING TO TURN INTO ZOMBIES I’M TELLING YOU!!!”

“No they’re not kid,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes and stamps forward.

“DON’T EAT THE FOOD! IT WILL TURN ROTTEN AND MAKE YOU PUKE!!!”

“Um, Fix? Don’t you think this is a little extreme?” Ahuizotl asks apprehensively.

“No. I ain’t gonna let her run off on her own. I may be taking my Great Granddaughter on a dangerous Treasure Hunt, but even I know you don’t split the party.”

“PYRAMID HEAD IS GONNA SHOW UP!!!”

“Um, Pyramid Head is a videogame character,” Greta points out. “He’s not real.”

“THE BUCK HE ISN’T! I’VE FOUGHT THE BUCKER!!!” you spit back.

“Give it a rest Shade, you’re causing a scene,” Grandbuggy grumbles.

“I WILL BRING THE MOON DOWN ON YOUR HEAD IF YOU DON’T LET ME GO RIGHT NOW GRANDBUGGY, I SWEAR TO LUNA!!!“

“I thought you said she fought the Arimapsi herself, why is she so easily tied up?” Greta asks.

“Because she’s not thinking straight and is forgetting just how powerful she really is,” Grandbuggy answers with an eye roll. “Her dad does this constantly.”

“I’m not above hitting an old guy in public Grandbug-UGH!” you groan as a rope is tied around your mouth by your traitorous Robot pet.

“Et Tu Mangle?” you whine through the gag and she gives a shrug.

“Just calm down Nightshade,” Ahuizotl advises. “The sooner you do, the sooner we get the artifact and will be able to leave.”

“But we don’t even know that we need this artifact! I’m Telling You! Soon one of these guys is going to properly welcome us and then offer to let us stay and then it will all go downhill!” you warn, but they can’t quite understand you through your gag.

And even as you say that…

Kichi’s Comment

Puzzling Frost’s Comment

Just_another_guy’s Comment

"Hello! Welcome to Our Town, my name is Starlight Glimmer, I hope you enjoy our perfectly equal style” a light pinkish Unicorn Mare with done up hair greets. Just like the rest, she has an equal sign cutie mark.

“Called it!” you shout, or try to anyway.

"Now not to intrude, but why do you have a filly strapped to you back?" Starlight Glimmer asks in confusion.

"Oh right, well this little bundle of joy is my great granddaughter,” Grandbuggy explains. “You see she got a bit spooked by the town is all and this was the only way I could keep her from running off back to the train.”

“GGGRRRR!!!” you growl through the rope and the mare looks taken aback.

“Spooked? By what might I ask?”

“Uh, yeah, she uh…She saw a horror movie about a week ago that she wasn't supposed to. It had a spooky town out in the middle of nowhere and zombies showed up, so the whole town set up just kind of scared her is all” he lies through his teeth.

"Oh! Um no worries here, I can see where you’re coming from. No nefarious like things here, just a village following their beliefs of equality! Heh Heh Heh…" Starlight smiles though she has a noticeable sweat drop running down her forehead and her eyes dart around.

"Nothing nefarious my hoof, this place is reeks of it!" you counter, but because of the gag, you are muffled an unintelligible.

"Oh but where are my manners madam, my name is Quick Fix." Grandbuggy says trying to use the old charm on the mare. In response, you poke the back of his neck with your horn.

"Gah! Why you little…Uh erm, and this is Shade. I’m sure she’s glad to meet you.”

You try to hit him again but he blocks your attack with his hoof.

“The two behind me are my friends Greta, and Zotal," he continues and motionins to the rest of the group. Starlight looks over to the giant cat like creature and the griffon behind you.

"Greetings Senorita." Ahuizotal says with a bow.

"Sup." Greta says bluntly catching Starlight’s attention.

"Oh wow, I can't believe it, Traditional Griffon war paints. I read about those when I was a filly…they uh…they look good on you?” she somewhat asks.

"War paints? What war paints?" the griffon asks.

“Ummm…” Starlight starts before she sees Grandbuggy, Ahuizotl and even Mangle shaking their heads no. “Uh, nothing. Just admiring your…Green eye shadow.”

“Oh, those are natural not war paint,” Greta explains.

“Right…” the mare nods unbelievingly before turning back to the group at large. “Well anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you all. Now, what brings you to our fun little town?"

"Oh just passing through, seeing the sights." Grandbuggy lies.

“The sights? Out here?” Starlight asks skeptically.

“…Yes,” Grandbuggy nods and as he continues to talk to the mare, you decide to look around from your bound position and see if any creepy monsters have appeared.

Any minute now…any minute…aaaaaannnnnnnyyyyy mmmmmiiiiinnnnnuuuuutttteee…

But despite your watchful eyes and insistence on otherworldly shenanigans, the houses don’t flake and crumble, the sun doesn’t cease to shine, and the living dead do not appear.

Wait, for real? Did I actually just spazz out for nothing? You think in dread.

Indeed, the houses aren’t crumpling apart, rather some are still being built. They are simple and sturdy with brick walls wooden roofs, although you are still a bit unnerved by just how exact each house is to the each other. Down the row you see a couple of small shops, the pale pinkish unicorn mare that comes out of it offers a tray of some bland looking muffins to your group. Greta relunctantly takes one with an awkward

“Thanks,” as she takes a bite and scrunches her face.

On the other side of the street you see a vendor selling poorly made brown cloaks, which look more like hoods more than anything.

Aw crud. Are these guys just dirt poor and I accused them of being monsters?

Even further down the road you spy a lone house, slightly larger than the rest.

Hmm. Must be either the town hall or the leader mare’s home, probably both. So maybe there’s no zombies, but this still bleeds Filly’s of the Corn!

You also notice a familiar white earth pony walking over towards Starlight. He marches up and coughs to get Glimmer's attention.

"Huh oh excuse me my assistant needs me," She says before walking to the pony in question. As she walks away Ahuizotl and Greta come up and pull you two into a group huddle.

"Alright amigo you know this place is off right?" Ahuizotl whispers as to not be overheard by the villagers.

"I can clearly see that, but I’ve been trying to play the fool so they don’t notice. I’m starting to think these aren’t the run of the mill hippies, this place reeks of something foul," Grandbuggy says.

"And it ain't their awful cupcakes either blegh! These taste worse than the ones back home," Greta says tossing the remains of the one she was given aside.

“Smiling Faces. Smiling Faces Tell Lies~” Mangle plays an audioclip of the very appropriate song.

“Exactly ya dang demonic machine,” Grandbuggy compliments. “You only see these kinds of smiles on cart salesmen, insurance agents, and blood bank workers.”

“Blood bank workers?” Greta asks.

“Yeah. They want your blood for their own nefarious purposes. I’m half convinced they’re all vampires.”

“…I don’t think these ponies are vampires Fix,” Ahuizotl points out.

“Yeah I figured that with the sun out and everything. But that just begs the question, what are these weirdos?”

"Mt's ma Mult! Ma Mult!" You contribute.

"No Nightshade I don't think they have malts here. They probably think they’re too unhealthy or some such nonsense,” Grandbuggy answers you.

"You know I think this place might actually be a cult," Ahuizotal adds.

“Hmm, it does kind of have that vibe,” Greta nods.

“Not a bad guess, good thinking bud,” Grandbuggy praises.

“Grrr,” you groan into the rope. If your forelegs weren’t bound, you’d be facehooving so hard right now.

Looking around at all the ponies Greta appears to have a flashback.