“Don’t Scratch at the Wall
-Death, Supernatural

“Shit shit shit! Sunrise, can you hear me? I’m trying to close it but…”

“Sunrise, hun, you are going to be late. Get up!” I held the warm pillow tight, the fluffiness of it kept me there. The heaviness of my blanket held me in. I groaned and rolled very slowly over; Mom was standing over me. She was casting a shadow over my bed and started to tap her hoof as my eyes came into focus upon her face. “Get up now!”

I felt her telekinetic blanket wrap around me and suddenly my body was hurled into the air. “MOM!” I yelped before falling back to the bed with a spring-filled thud. I growled and punched the pillow like a little filly throwing a tantrum. “That hurts ya know!”

Mom snorted at me and turned away to open the curtains and let the sunlight in. “You and I both know it does not hurt you. It just hurts your pride.” I was in my body, white in color as I held up a hoof to shield my eyes from the blinding light filtering through the city shield generators.

Oh my, I’m five or six again! That isn’t a megaspell shield, that is dozens of shields linked together! Megaspells aren’t a thing yet! My conscious thoughts were interrupted by feelings of inadequacy and I wanted to smack my mom. “Yeah, but that hurts, too! Dad can fly, you can throw me around or heal my cuts with a flick of your horn. What do I have? We live in a city where we can’t grow crops and I am the weakest foal in my class.”

Mom stopped and turned to look over her shoulder at me. What happened to you? Her eyes suddenly became softer. The tender gaze of a mother coming to a wounded child filled my soul with hope. She slowly walked over towards the bed, “Sunrise… I am very sorry. I forget that you take that so personally. You will find your mark and your destiny one day. I promise you will.” I groaned at the speech I had heard a hundred or more times. Slowly, I sat up and put my rear hooves onto the floor, staying on the edge of my bed.

Mom placed a hoof against my chin and lifted it up. I looked into Shadow Window’s eyes and knew why she had that name. I could see so much of my soul reflected back at me. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but that was the problem with mom’s eyes. You never saw her soul at all; always your own reflected back. “Do I have to go to school today?”

“Sunrise you know-” Mom was interrupted by a raid siren. I watched out my window as small sections of the overall larger shield failed rapidly.

Oh. It’s that day. The days when there were hundreds of shields to make up the protection of Stalliongrad, interlocked and they could still fail or cascade into pieces. Suddenly there were holes and with those came the scream through the air of distant bombs. Mom grabbed me up into her TK and threw me onto her back.

The wind was knocked out of me from the panicked impact as she galloped down the stairs and out into the yard where we had a personal bomb shelter built. It was really just a metal shed buried in the ground in the alley behind our rowhouses. No more than a few extra centimeters of street, concrete, and dirt between us and the world. Inside was just two rooms, a bathroom and a sleeping area with two beds. You couldn’t even stand up more than one at a time because of the overhead cabinets that contained food, water, medical supplies, the ventilation system, and a couple of books to read. A single light extended down from a metal line, powered by two spark batteries in the ceiling.

Mom dashed from the house and pulled the horizontal door out of the ground, throwing me down into the shelter. I landed on the concrete and yelped out in pain as my baby fat rump hit the solid concrete floor. Mom slammed the door closed behind us and pushed me forward as she put the secondary blast door in place with great effort from her horn and hooves combined. Outside the ground vibrated and boomed with muffled distant explosions. Dust from the ceiling and cabinets agitated and cascaded into the air. My nose got irritated immediately. I sneezed so hard my head recoiled back into the side of the bed.

Mom was panting as she looked me over, “You okay, Wandering Sunrise?” I held my bum and my head, wincing with a nod. “Good,” She spun around away from me. “Stupid fucking zebras!” She screamed at the door in frustration. “All this over some stupid coal and gemstones! Just go back to trading with the rich and let us live in peace!” My ears echoed in pain and I cried out as my head exploded in agony.

“MOM! Stop yelling! It hurts!” Suddenly hooves were wrapped around me and holding me tightly as the distant thuds got closer. There was a soft cooing and I heard her sweet voice that let me gently rock into protective hooves.

“Sunrise, no school today. Just stay here with mommy. I am very sorry I hurt you getting you down here. I was panicked. Please understand, I meant nothing by it.” I nuzzled against her and inhaled deeply at her scent. The words seeming to soothe away the aches of my bruises.

“Mom, if I had gotten up on time, I would be-” She put a hoof to my lips as I spoke. The thought of being caught nowhere near a shelter on the way to school terrified us both. A few foals had this happen to them last year, my first year of school. They were gone now.

Mom kissed my forehead, “I’ll protect you, my baby.” She started to hum and then finally, raised her voice. Mom may have specialized in law, and she may have joined the emergency medical brigade, but neither of those professions truly suited her. What came from her lips was the voice of an angel. She was singing the softest song I’d ever heard and it was too beautiful for words from her audience of one:

Hush now, quiet it now, it's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed.
Hush now, quiet now, close your sleepy eyes.
Hush now, quiet now, my how time sure flies.
Drifting, drifting off to sleep the days excitement behind you.
Drifting drifting off to sleep let the joy of dreamland find you.
Hush now, quiet now, lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed~….

I yawned sleepily, listening to the pure motherly love that flowed from her lips. I nuzzled up against her as she helped me into bed. She put me under the covers and laid next to me on top of them. Another heavy thump shook the shelter and the light went out. “Wandering Sunrise, rest; it will be over soon. Mommy will protect you…” My world faded back into the warm embrace of sweet familial love and a mother’s promise.

“Everybody knows a mother’s love is unconditional. Everybody knows.” Mom’s voice echoed through time as I saw Pink once more.

“Sunrise! Oh you’re back, STAY HERE! Don’t go into the next part. I’m doing all I can to seal the breach. Please just don’t—”

It was less than a week later. I was at a funeral, a set of funerals. Dozens of caskets, my size, were suspended above freshly dug graves. These were my classmates, over half of them. Parents were crying all around me; I just felt numb. Coffee Stain sobbed on my shoulder and I softly reached up, stroking my friend’s mane. Our moms held us close but did not stand between us. The failing shields a week before had resulted in our schoolhouse being hit, specifically my classroom. The first shells hit dead on. The zebras were targeting a pegasus flight base but had reversed the grid coordinates and hit my school exactly on the opposite side of the city for their mistake.

The sirens had not even reached them yet and any students who had arrived more than fifteen minutes early were now in caskets. Mustard Mark, Harmonizing Honey, Velvet Touch, Balefire Bain, and so many others were all gone. But those on that short list were my closest friends. Now I only had Coffee Stain. Barista Foam held her daughter while I tried to remain strong as my only remaining friend cried her eyes out. I did not fully understand the war at this point, I just knew that the zebras had robbed me of something precious.

My dad walked up and knelt before us with a reassuring smile, “It was an accident you two, okay? The zebras would never shoot at a non-military target on purpose.” He softly gave each of us a hug and held us close, wrapping his wings around Coffee Stain and me. Coffee Stain’s dad, Hot Knowledge, was killed in the blast as well.

“How can you say that to them? Their friends are dead and you want them to not be upset about it! I hope all of those striped ziggers die in a fire!” Mom screamed at us and I flinched. She had yelled at dad before, sometimes at the zebras, but never at a funeral. Coffee Stain and I looked up through tear filled eyes and both of us took in the glares of hatred burning down upon us.

I noticed now the number of parents who were sporting military fatigues, new ones. So many of the parents who had lost children, had gone to sign up for the militia or Equestrian Military overnight. Entire neighborhoods had gone from damage control and trying to lead normal lives to full military units in training, mine included.

“Why have you NOT signed up, Rainbowrise?” She paused as several adults glared daggers at my father. Others were giving looks for someone to do something and stop this scene from playing out. “Huh? You should at least put Wandering Sunrise into the Filly Scouts so she can be prepared when the time comes!” Barista Foam was almost foaming at the mouth as she snatched Coffee Stain away. She couldn’t hold onto her, though, as Coffee Stain punched her own mother in the face to be let go. The unicorn lost her composure and TK, dropping her daughter to the ground with a thud.

Coffee Stain ran to me with fresh tears in her eyes and tackled me into a hug. If not for dad holding me in place with his wings and hooves I would have tumbled onto the ground. I held her close and nuzzled against her forehead. “I have got you, Coffee Stain, through thick and thin. I promise.” I kept her there and silently sobbed tears into her mane.

I wouldn’t let her go and I smiled. “Listen, do not let them tell you what to think, either of you.” Rainbowrise whispered to us as gently as he could. I felt so relieved at my father’s words. He was showing bravery to defy the convention. “They all rushed to sign up. They replaced the emptiness you feel right now with nothing but a burning hatred. You cannot allow yourselves to live that way.” We both turned our heads to my dad, who just gave his broad, wonderful smile. “You must be better than this. Hatred only creates more hatred; you need to find the capacity to love inside. Even the zebras, as much as they take from us; you cannot hate them. They would not do this if they did not think it was the right thing. No one willingly does evil; they have their reasons and we have ours.”

I did not understand him at the time, with all the adults staring at us while he spoke. They slowly turned away, moving to their own children and coffins that were being given last rights and lowered into the earth. It was one mass grave, with multiple shoes to push the coffins in. There simply wasn’t room for all of them to have individual graves anymore, even children. My dad cried as my mother snubbed her nose at him. She glared just as they had done; she wanted to hate but she knew he was right. I saw her motion her hoof back to my dad, and point for me to look back at him. She wanted him to finish.

“One day we will not fight anymore. When that day comes, we have to make sure we do not hate them for this; or anything they have done. Until all the hatred is gone, we cannot heal the wounds between us. You two are our future,” He paused and kissed each of us on the forehead. “We need you to learn to love, so we can have hope.”

I watched my dead friends lowered into a mass grave of coffins, stacked four high to fit them all into the long trench grave; with just a couple of hoof steps between them. Mothers and fathers saluted their dead children. Barista Foam stood, waiting for Coffee Stain and I to separate. My dad made sure we watched and kept rubbing us with his wings to reassure and protect us. Stronger shields were being put up to replace the ones that failed before.

Rainbowrise didn’t need to sign up; he wanted to protect us. Not go kill zebras. I nuzzled into his feathers, they were so soft and silky to caress. “Everybody knows you cannot replace your woes with burning hatred inside. Everybody knows…” I closed my eyes and lost myself in my father’s feathers and his scent, when I opened them, I was looking at Pink again.

“For Celestia’s sake! How much is behind this dam?! Sunrise! Don’t go this time! I can’t keep taking these little pieces of a pie I get with you. Listen to me! Something you did fractured the wall, you need to get back to Nyota! Please! I can’t close it till you do!

“So just focus on your big burly hot stallion friend who bones you every—”

“I told you they could not be trusted!” Mom yelled at my dad and growled as she slammed the newspaper into his lap. The words on the headline: “Hero Sacrifices Himself to Save Celestia” with the subtitle: “Betrayal at Peace Summit” in massive letters. Dad looked at my mother indignantly.

“One bad egg and you are just gonna lump an entire race into it?” Dad stood up in a huff. I was older, not quite into high school but in that awkward transition phase. I stood up starting to move towards them.

“They tried to assassinate Celestia! PRINCESS CELESTIA! At the peace summit! The one chance we had to end this stupid war; and they tried to kill her!” My eyebrows raised as I approached them. They were so engrossed in their argument they hadn’t noticed me yet.

My dad stood up and threw the paper onto the floor, “And we do not know why! We know that Big Mac took the bullet though and they failed. Failed dear! Zebra assassins are not so careless as to MISS their target. So why did they miss?” He leaned up to her and was pressed nose to nose as they snorted at each other.

“Does it matter now? You have been nice to them, you have tried to teach Sunrise to not hate, and I am SICK OF IT!” Shadow Window reared up and spat into her husband’s face. “Grow up Rainbowrise! The zebras are NOT going to play nice! They will not stop till we are all dead!”

I slowed my approach, my eyes starting to water as I feared this was going to result in my parents separating. “You taught Sunrise to not hate! She could not recite the loyalty pledge just like that brat, Coffee Stain.” Mom’s words stung hard, Coffee Stain was my best and basically only friend. “And since neither of us is active military, guess who got kicked out of the Filly Scouts.” Mom stamped her hoof. “Sunrise even took the blame so Coffee Stain would not get kicked out! And NOW! Now you have the nerve to still have sympathy for them; if my father were still—”

There was a knock at our door and both of my parents turned towards it. Immediately their eyes stopped when they saw me. The words hurt so much. My heart felt like it was ripped apart as I dropped onto my belly and just started sobbing. I couldn’t bring myself to look at them. I felt numb everywhere except the tears that burned on my face.

The knock on the door persisted, “Ministry of Morale, please open up. We need to speak with Rainbowrise.” This was the night, the night they got into our lives. The night we began to break nature’s laws to win the war.

Mom walked up and leered down at me. This was not the soft, loving mother I had known two years before. She had slowly started becoming more and more angry, more jaded. “Stop crying, Sunrise. You are too old for that. Hold your damn head up and endure, like the rest of our country! You are a disgrace to your race! Earth ponies are hard as granite, my bare plot; you need to make your grandparents proud! Stand tall!” She turned back to my dad, not giving me a chance to reply or respond. “You, answer the door. We will discuss this later.”

Dad walked slowly to the door. He stopped mid-trot and picked me up. He held me close and nuzzled my cheek. “Showing weakness is not weak.” He whispered in my ear as he opened the door. He was holding me, I was so much bigger now but he managed it. His wings, his lovely feathery support wrapped me in a warm embrace while I was held in front of his chest. He shielded me from the world as I sobbed into his neck. “Now is not the best time. Can it wait till morning?”

I couldn’t see the agent, but hearing her voice chilled me to the core. It was 9. I wanted to take control of the memory, to smash that pony in the face right then and there. But younger me had never known her. I knew now why it hurt so much when she started her terror a year before the bombs fell. Here she was so friendly, so welcoming. “Oh yes, sir, I understand. We could hear the argument. Listen, here.” A letter was pressed against my dad’s wing against my head. He took it into a hoof, opening it to read. “We will need to discuss this matter in the morning if it is alright.”

My dad made a whistle and tsked his lips several times. “You sure you wanna do this? I mean I can figure it out, but if you are sure?”

“Affirmative sir, destroy the letter. Discuss this in the morning. Two agents are now on watch here, to make sure you and your family are safe.” My dad nodded and thanked 9, then closed the door. That is why you did not just stop her; you were working for her! You weren’t allowed to stop her or stop working. They would have killed us if you didI

My dad murmured to himself as he took me in, softly caressing my mane and staring at the letter. “Everybody will know who discovered it first. Something so powerful we can do our worst.” He lit the letter on fire and tossed it into the smoldering embers in the fireplace. “Everybody knows…”

“Dammit! They are filling in the pie pieces even if I pull out the crust! What the hell is your mind made of? Oh you’re back, just in time for whipped cream. Okay now, just stay with me.”

I was still there, in the blackness of space, staring at Pink as we fell through the void. “Okay I’ve got to find the other holes and batten those hatches.” Pink pulled out a hammer and several planks. “I’ll teach those hatches even if I have to double batten em! Now you need to just stay with…” She trailed off as we moved towards a white light under us, falling through the air as it whistled past us. Her voice grew distant again and she sighed in frustration. “Oh well, fuck. Here we go again on this trampoline!”

Dad was shaking. Mom stared out the window at the sky. We were in a Stable-Tec interview room. Mom chewed on her lip as the cheap plywood table and plastic chairs creaked. The Stable-Tec employee was tapping a pen to her clipboard. She slowly looked it over, my family’s application for a place in the stable on it. “Let’s see, you have a lot of useful skills, that is fer sure!” Her accent was off putting. She wasn’t from Stalliongrad, not with those contractions and that high pitched shrill, as well as her use of the word ‘fer’ instead of ‘for’.

She got up and opened the door behind her, passing some unknown pony the clipboard. “Now, family history of medicine, tell me about it.” There was a hesitation as my dad looked at my mother, who just shrugged and sat down.

She relayed our family medical history, robotically almost. I felt a sense of loss ping within me. Mom no longer wore her mane down but rather in a tight bun, her tail as well. Her cutie mark had tinted, from a thought cloud with an injector needle full of red blood to one full of a sickly green liquid. We were not sure how she had done this, because it wasn’t dye or a tattoo. I shied away from her. I simply couldn’t bring myself to stay close to her. She would go out to the Ministry of Morale building during the day and come home in the evening. Neither of us wanting to be near her.

She and dad didn’t talk much anymore either. Dad would go to the mechanic shop, and if I wasn’t at school, I would go with dad. Mom clearly wasn’t doing her lawyer work anymore. She constantly had empty memory orbs on hand. Small crystal balls, with a single white cloud inside; waiting to be willingly filled with data from some creature’s mind. When she finished giving our medical history, the Stable-Tec employee had another clipboard and finished checking it off.

“And what about your foal here?” Mom and dad both looked at me. “What is her special talent?”

Dad raised a hoof, “She does not have one yet. You see, she is not quite too old to not have it, but most of her classmates do.”

The Stable-Tec mare’s eyes lit up with new purpose as she leaned into me. I almost fell out of my chair as she prodded my flank with a pen. She licked her hoof and rubbed it onto my hip where my cutie mark would be. It was so uncomfortable and gross. I shuddered and squirmed away from her. She kept watching me and made me so uncomfortable with the way she looked at me. Like a hungry predator about to snatch their prey.

“GOOD! That is excellent! It leads to so much potential!” She hastily jotted down notes onto her clipboard and ran to the door. There was a heated discussion we couldn’t hear. Back and forth with a creature we could not see. She came back and put a new clipboard in front of us. This one was made of stubbornite with three sheets of paper on it.

“Good news! You’ve been accepted in a Stable! You just need to sign here, one form for each of you.” My parents did not even bother to read the paperwork. I started to and they just insisted I sign it quickly before Stable-Tec changed their minds. Something really stuck out to me, but I had no choice but to put my hoof mark:
‘Stable-Tec owns all residents of their Stables. No exceptions, all rights belong to Stable-Tec during the shelter period.’

We left there and went home. Coffee Stain came over that night. Barista Foam was assigned to guard duty and despite our parents fights and her reservations, she knew mine would be home, and Coffee Stain and I were still good friends.

Coffee Stain hugged me tight and smiled as we got into my room alone. “Sunrise, I am glad you got into a Stable. Makes me happy to know you will be around after.”

I paused and tilted my head, “After what?”

“The war, silly. Hopefully you will remember me.” Coffee Stain looked away from me, blushing. I remembered she had been doing that repeatedly recently. Always hesitant to look me in the face as she started to blush and squirm a little when I got close.

“Coffee Stain, you are coming down there with me, right?” I turned her head back to face me. I did not like seeing tears in my friend’s eyes or her looking hurt. She seemed more embarrassed than hurt and I was just puzzled.

“Sunrise, my family did not get accepted.” She replied sniffling and wrapped her hooves around my neck in a tight hug. Her Filly Scout cap fell to the floor as she sobbed against me. I did what I always did for her, stroked her mane and held her close. I let my warmth radiate to her. Softly, I hummed against her; hoping my singing would help calm her.

She pulled away and stroked my hair out of my face, “Sunrise listen; I wanna confess something to you.” I smiled at her, and motioned for her to go on. I was more than happy to see her drying her tears and smiling herself now; even if she was still blushing. I never left eye contact, I wanted her to know I would be here for her.

She suddenly rushed forward without hesitation and kissed me! My eyes shot open wide and I felt an electric shock through my veins which stopped my surprise from recoiling me away. It felt good. Wonderful, natural even, for my best friend to kiss with me! I slowly felt a tingle through my body as she kept kissing me and we stayed close together.

When she realized I wasn’t going to fight her, she closed her eyes, and slowly I submitted. I closed mine as well. I did not know how long we kissed or how long we stayed there. When she finally released the embrace we were both panting for air, and I felt hot and bothered inside. Butterflies flew in my stomach and ice chilled my veins, while a heat radiated from my chest and abdomen that sparked all new tingles and pinpricks. Most of all, my heart was pounding, screaming at me to go further, and I had to fight for dear life to not just kiss her again right then and there! We looked at each other, unsure what to do or how to proceed.

“Sunrise, everybody knows but you. Before time runs out and the megaspells rain down, I want you to know it too. I want you to know, I love you. I have had a crush on you as long as I can remember.” I stared at her, still stunned and recovering from the kiss; this felt like an anvil crashing through my giant oblivious wall and hammering home what I should have known. “You are the only thing that keeps my hope from dying. Please, can we just cuddle and enjoy our ourselves tonight?”

I blushed deeply, feeling my cheeks and neck burning as I slowly nodded. She insisted on keeping one layer of covers between us, as we laid in my bed. She held me, close. I was smaller than her and I was the little spoon tonight. Softly the unicorn stroked my mane, gently she kissed my neck. I liked it, too; I never wanted that moment to end as I faded into sleep. “Everybody knows now, I love you; my Sunrise.”

“Are we gonna have to watch your whole life before you quit making scratches in my wall?” I stared at Pink, dumbfounded and still wishing I could feel Coffee Stain’s warmth again. “Oh for the sake of cake! Can you focus on Nyota or Chifundo? Wait a minute!” I snapped out of my distant imagination. “That was it wasn’t it? Your first kiss was Coffee Stain! On the day Applebloom made sure you were going to a stable! Two days before you discovered the secret passage in your dad’s shop and the experiment started!” I blushed and squirmed while we fell through the void further and further with another light accelerating towards us. Pink jumped at the light with her planks, hammers, nails, and screwdrivers. Somehow operating three tools, two nails, and a plank all at once.

“Right! No rest for the wicked, time to use the wicker!” She pulled out a wicker woven basket full of tools as another memory overcame my senses.

Dad was packing away into a duffle bag. He looked at me and held up a checklist, “Alright, Sunrise, flashlight?” I held it up and rolled my eyes. This was the fourth time we had checked these bug out bags in as many days. I groaned at him and sighed.

“Little Wanderer, you know we have to make sure these are ready and everything in them works every single day.” I groaned louder at his words.

“Dad why? It is not like we are going to use them.” I turned back to him, my hair bouncing off my neck in irritation.

“We have to be ready, completely.” Dad stared back and brushed my hair out of my face.

“Ready for what?” Rainbowrise grew quiet. He never answered that question, it was like he was afraid to say what was coming. He looked away from me and put the checklist away. I could feel something inside him was lost.

He carried his gun everywhere now; even in the house. The Colt model 19.11 was a pistol that packed one heck of a punch. Ever since the incident with the assassin at the shield, he was a lot more cautious and stopped talking to even the zonies. Zonies were zebras who had agreed to have their stripes dyed pink or were half-breeds with ponies who lived with us anyway. The zebras hated the hybrids for some reason. They would come into our lines as refugees and always beg for help.

It was so strange, how the soldiers treated them with suspicion until they went out of their way to prove their loyalty. Now dad wouldn’t even go near them. I dared not ask him about it. I missed Netherbloom, he was always nice to me. Dad rose up and put the clipboard down, “Alright, fine, we will not check the bags today. Instead, how about we go find Coffee Stain and see if the eternal scout ritual took?”

I nodded at him and hopped to my hooves eagerly. We hadn’t done anything beyond kiss and hold each other, but every moment I could spend with her made my heart sing. It gave me hope when all the adults in my life seemed hopeless. Mom had lost all her warmth. We walked through the living room and she looked up with heavy bags under her eyes.

She was spending night after night out late. At the time I had no idea she was sleeping around and doing party-time Ment-als all night. Much less that she was not even sleeping in the same bed as dad anymore. She sniffed the air and smirked, “Oh, I know that smell. Alright, Sunrise; make sure to give her the talk!” She commanded and dad winced at her. The illusion of loving mother was gone now. She wasn’t even trying anymore. She wouldn’t be trying again until the Ministry of Morale agents started using me for interogeration practice.

Dad closed the door behind us. The shield outside was solid, completely unbroken as we walked to the sidewalk. The other ponies held their heads low. Dad still managed to keep his high. I was practically prancing to go see Coffee Stain. My perked up mood made him smile and he shook his head with a whistle. “You are growing up to be quite the mare.” I blushed and smiled at him, as he draped a wing over me to keep me shielded from the sun. It was always nice, so velvety, so gentle and sweet. Any time dad’s wing was over me, it felt like I was safe for once.

I looked at the faces of the other adults and they lacked something. They had no brightness to them, only gloom. The bags under their eyes sagged heavy. I felt it as they brushed past us; they had no hope. They were marching in the bright sunshiny day and yet were completely dead inside. “Dad, why is everyone so gloomy? The sun is so nice today.”

Rainbowrise let out a ragged sigh as we stood outside Coffee Stain’s house. “Little Wanderer, it brightens my soul to see you excited.” He leaned down and nuzzled against my neck. “Why not go inside and spend time with your friend?”

I groaned in frustration at him avoiding my question. But my heart fluttered at the mention of time with Coffee Stain and I darted up to the door, knocking happily and waiting for my marefriend to come to the door. That was the first time I thought of her that way. Rainbowrise hung his head as the door opened and I started to go inside. I heard it upon his lips as he shook his head and I hugged Coffee Stain tight with excitement. “Everybody knows hope is dead. Why do you hold on to it?”

I looked at my father, confused. Everything he had taught me, said not to give up. Yet he was admitting defeat. He was admitting there was no hope for peace. I blinked at him and felt a deep sadness in my soul. Coffee Stain would want to give her last kiss to me. The image of her lying hopeless in her bed as the glow rose inside my mind. The glow of balefire closing upon her. The roar of the flames, the searing burning of the radiation before that final moment.

I looked at her and did not care if our parents saw in that moment. She needed to know I cared, she didn’t even know what was racing through my mind. I kissed her, right then and there. My dad’s jaw dropped and her mother scoffed; I didn’t care. It was my turn to surprise Coffee Stain. She had the exact reaction I did when she gave me my first kiss; now this was our first public kiss. Everybody knows how much that is truly worth. How much your last kiss is worth.

“I mean, I’m just along for the roller coaster ride at this point. There ain’t no stopping it till the operator comes back.” Pink paused and pointed at me for emphasis. “Remembers to throw the Nightmare Night Curse Brakes. So, you enjoying your memories, I take it? Because the next ones are all wasteland, you know that, right?”

I tilted my head as the glow started to overtake us. It felt like radiation burning away at me. The sickly green light that was engulfing us and made it hurt to fall further. Everything about it was just wrong in some way. I looked up at Pink, trying to form words but I couldn’t speak. She nodded, “Right. You are just as much a passenger as I am on crazy Sunrise train number 3.”

“I could take control, it would be easy right now.” That voice, the thing I feared. It spoke when Breakfast Blend went down. Pink growled and snarled, pulling out an explosive charge.

“Hey! This is an A and B conversation! I suggest you C4 your way out!” She tossed it upward and with a massive bang and a flash. My vision was lost in a sea of fire and confetti before we were into another memory.

I was standing outside the stable. The wind swept the ground and it chilled me; winter was coming. I pulled my heavy armored coat close. It was similar to the thick wool coat that Mad Mac wore, almost identical if not for looking and feeling newer. My stable suit provided some protection but not nearly enough. Before me was Stalliongrad, or rather, what was left of it. Barely seven buildings of the once famous city still stood as hollowed out hulks in the wasteland. My city, burned away completely by bombs from both sides. No one was sure if we had fallen to the final zebra attack before the bombs fell.

We hadn’t but that didn’t matter now. I slowly walked forward, hanging my head. I felt no remorse or emotion, even as I could see the plot of land that used to be my house. My ear crackled with a radio and I stood upright. Something about these eyes were not mine. It was my body, green coat, off color mane and tail. This was after whatever Stable-Tec did to me. “14, what is your status, do you see your objective.”

I knew that voice, it was mom! But she was cold, calculating. She wasn’t calling her daughter by name but by some other designation. My PipBuck clicked a few times, radiation. I took out a bottle of Rad-X and shot it down. Then reached up to press the radio headset, “Negative. Still attempting to locate Stables 4-0 and 4-7. Just keep 43 secure till I return. Over.” I heard the voice, it was mine but just as cold with some unknown malice to it. There was something about it that chilled me to the bone.

This wasn’t me but it was. It was my body, it was my mind, but the presence in it caused me to recoil. “The fuck? You viewing this one now too? That wall you two put up must not be holding. Good, I might get out yet.” I realized now that the voice was talking to me directly.

Who are you? What are you? There was a quality to that voice that wasn’t equine at all; it was alien and wrong.

“Me? 14 is my designation and I’m what you are suppose to be. Little Green Monster.” I shuddered and the memory picked up something, a blip on the E.F.S. Immediately my shotgun was out along with my tail grabbing onto a grenade. The pip was green, not red.

“Sunrise, that you? You out again?” The voice emerging from the dust and fog was Coffee Stain. The weapon stayed up as we stared each other down. “Sunrise, you know me. Put the gun away, what are you looking for this time?”

I snorted and the trigger came out of my mouth. “Was never very good at stealth. Any boiling seas or burning lands left now?”

Coffee Stain shook her head and sighed, “Unless you stormed into a bomb crater, no. That and the snow gives off radiation.” Coffee Stain wasn’t holding her disguise from pre-war. She had those empty, mile-long-stare eyes. Her coat was cobalt blue instead of the pre-war white we shared. She pulled at her Filly Scout cap slightly. The different animals you could be, cub, eagle, falcon, etc, replaced with a stopped clock as the emblem on her head. She was an eternal scout now.

“Come on, Coffee Stain. I already know where my objective is, but I just want some time out to party.” Coffee Stain smiled at this and we started to trot off together. No! Don’t go with her! She isn’t me! She is just wearing my skin!

“Shut it, little angel. I’m gonna—”

We were back into the void, falling faster than ever. Pink rolled her eyes while reeling me in with a fishing line. “WHOA! I caught the mother of them all. Thought I’d never get you out of that one.” I looked around panicked at first and Pink’s hoof stroked my mane. My coat was white again and it felt nice to be in my own skin.

“Oh that, don’t get used to it; you’re just a transient here. We are getting through this, one memory at a time. I’ve got the holes mostly closed, I need to find the other one still. But hey, it’s a fun ride right?” I looked at Pink shocked and shook my head slowly.

No, this is the worst feeling ever. All these memories, suppressed, why? Why, Pink?

“You asked for it.” She punched each word, with a hoof on my chest. “You wanted to go back to who you were when you were at the best. So I helped you look over every single bit of you and figured out which parts were the ones you could keep. You took all my suggestions hook, line, and sinker; kinda how I fished you out of the hell pond with 14.” She looked down at the approaching light then let out a deep sigh.

“Remember, Coffee Stain and you never broke up. Never once. She will never allow herself to be separated from you forever. You were her first. Now, get ready, this is gonna hurt. I know this one, it sucks so much critics refuse to review it!”

The pain was excruciating! I was in a hospital, it was still pre-war; I only knew this because of the sign I caught in the center of my vision: ‘Stalliongrad General Wartime Hospital’. I screamed out in agony as the edges of my vision blurred and everything went fuzzy within moments.

“How bad is it?” It was my mom, with genuine concern in her voice.

“Shadow Window, doctor-patient separation; you cannot work on your own daughter.” The doctor was trying to push her away.

“FUCK YOU! She is my blood and I will not leave her side until she is healed and stabilized.” My mom screamed at him only for me to shriek in pain when the two jostled the gurney out of my line of vision.

“Fine! She has been hit in the abdomen, we are pretty sure most of her internal organs are fine but her reproductive ones may be affected.” I felt mom’s hoof wrapping around my own.

“I have got you baby, I promise. Mommy’s gonna make it better; everything will be alright.” Her reassurances were falling on deaf ears as every single time the gurney sped up or slowed down; the pain would return unimaginable. I felt the prick of a needle in my foreleg and the chilling coolness of Med-X flooded my body. Oh how I missed that feeling.

I ran to it, the pain was going away and the high it provided felt so good. “Sunrise, run into the feeling. Just get some rest, I will be here the entire time.” Blackness decided now was a good time to take me.

I slowly awoke, feeling weak, thirsty, and like I had gone several rounds with a professional boxer. I was older, but not my last birthday before the stable. I was almost the full size I had grown to when I woke up in the wasteland. Mom was asleep next to me, in a hospital bed as well! Mom! Were you hit too? I reached over for her and she flinched when I touched her. She moved like she expected me to hit her then shook her head and gripped my hoof back.

“Well, at least you woke up.” Mom replied, the warmth and urgency from earlier gone again. For one brief moment I had hope that she would come back, and then that hope was gone. She clicked the button on her bed for a nurse three times. A few moments later a doctor came in with a chart held aloft in his TK.

“Well, she is alive. Awfully brave of you to rush towards an unexploded bomb. Thankfully only the detonating charge went off. If the main explosive had gone, well, we would be sweeping you up in a small plastic baggie.” My mom glared at him and threw a cup of water as hard as she could. The paper cup crumpled and bounced off his lab coat harmlessly, all it did was splash and give him a small wet spot. The sound of it hitting the floor made him adjust his collar.

“Well in any case, thank you. You saved some lives. The sharpnel cut into your abdomen and sliced both of your ovaries clean in half.” He cleared his throat and smiled at me as he walked up and pulled the blanket back to reveal the stitch line across my belly. It looked like a C-Section cut. Wait! So I don’t have a kid!? This is why I—”

“Well, okay sure let’s go with that instead of the complicated answer.” Pink replied and I felt the need to look around for her. This was a memory, not a lucid dream; I had no controls here; just the viewing window. How did she and 14 always do that?

“Your mother here did some experimental surgery for us. She donated one of her’s and magically modified it to fit you; in terms of age compared to your intact one, your size, and your DNA. It is effectively a clone of your old one we had to remove.” He clicked on the clipboard a few times and shook his head. “You won’t have a brother or sister ever but when you grow up; you can at least start a family of your own.”

The way he said, ‘grow up’ was with such cynicism and doubt that would happen it made his bedside manner all the worse. “Get out! You have explained it, and if we did not absolutely need you I would report you for damaging morale of your patients and fellow Equestrians.” The doctor rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette, walking towards the door and lighting it up. Mom wrapped my cup of water in her TK and threw it with an accuracy that only an enraged parent could muster, landing it with a splash right on his smoke. “AND NO SMOKING!”

She stroked my mane tenderly, but there was something about her movements that were mechanical; not genuine. It was like the love had been pulled out of her and she was just following some code or motherly instinct to do this instead of out of the need to comfort her child. That was the problem! She wasn’t investing any love into this, she had none left to give. She was only holding me out of duty.

It still felt nice, nonetheless; it was a small piece of my old mother. The mother I loved and adored back next to me. I looked up into her eyes, but that is where the feeling stopped. She was staring blankly at the wall now. One of her forehooves stroking my mane over the bed railing, the other holding her side where the stitches were. I slowly faded into sleep again; with a horrific realization. Everybody knows my mother will never be the loving person she was. The war had forever scarred her and me.

“Yep there came a point where you couldn’t turn her back. It was like baking a cake but you burnt the edges, once their burnt the whole thing is ruined, till you cut out the ruined parts.” Pink turned to me and gave me a deep hug. “She considered you her burnt edge.”

I felt true horror now. I recoiled from Pink in shock and stared at her for answers. What has mom become? What did she do? What is Dead Tree? Why does she call me 14?

Pink tsked her lips and then smacked me, hard. My head was whipped around from the impact and my senses were shot out from the shock. I gasped and held my cheek while we resumed our fall through the void. Pink, what in tartarus!?

“Oh you needed that, otherwise you were going to be stuck in a spiral that any playground filly would be jealous of with how long that slide could possibly go. Now I think there is only one or two left. Are you sure you wanna see these? I might be able to pull us out now.” I nodded slowly and deliberately. I couldn’t turn away now, curiosity was at its peak. I had to know, I had to see. The light started to consume us and pink rolled her eyes. “Alright, you can slide past the hall monitor this time but next time...I’m gonna need a hall pass!”

I was waiting for Coffee Stain outside of school. Three other fillies approached me and I knew who they were and what they were up to. “Oh look, it is the filly fooler! She is so pathetic, never gonna give your parents grandchildren are you.” I winced and turned away from Salad Salon, the green and yellow colored filly teasing me only to be face to face with her friend. Bruising Bee was called that because of one reason I thought.

Her brown hoof slammed into my face and I tasted the iron of my own blood. I turned to look up at her, I wanted to strike her back; but that would accomplish nothing but a dog pile on my head by all three of them. “What is the matter, filly fooler? You afraid of hitting back?” There was a shove from behind me as a pair of grey hooves connected with both my shoulder blades from Crowned Collette. Before I could even react, Bruising Bee pushed me into the ground.

“Eww! I do not want hugs from some filly fooler!” I knew that was going to leave a bruise. These three had their chance. No Coffee Stain, no teachers, and every filly and colt was gathering around to watch the beating. One colt though, this one time, was not going to see it happen. I looked up and saw the red blood staining my white coat; the dark purple bruises on my forelegs and I could feel the scapes across my neck and chest.

“Hey! Knock it off! Just because she has a special somepony does not give you the right to pick on her.” A deep purple pegasus with green eyes and an orange and white mane threw his purple wing over me to shield me. He was bigger than me and also another blank flank.

“Oh look, the blank flanks are teaming up together. Just what do you hope to do; stop us from teaching her a lesson? You want a beating too, Renegade Wing?” I heard Crowned Collette cracking her hooves and the clopping of Salad Salon behind me against the pavement.

Then a much more mature stallion’s voice that spoke up. “Hey! You three wanna spend the night in a military prison?” The entire crowd turned their heads collectively to see two stallions. One solid red with a white mane and chocolate brown streak in his hair. On his flank was a set of crossed plasma rifles and a pink goo puddle under it. He was using his pegasus wings to force the crowd apart.

Next to him was a blue earth pony with a set of gear cogs on his flank and a solid green mane. The pegasus was wearing a standard military combat armor and uniform. The earth pony had a scientist lab coat with a symbol from the Ministry of Arcane Sciences on it. “You three get out of here before I decide you’re worth arresting.” The pegasus ordered. “The rest of you disperse before I tell your parents you were inciting a beating of a fellow student.” Our classmates scattered and Coffee Stain was running towards the sidewalk from the schoolhouse. I got up, a pouting frown upon my face. My pride was hurt, my muscles were sore, and the bruises ached.

Coffee Stain’s horn lit up with magic and I felt the tingle pulsing through my wounds to seal the bloody nose and heal my bruises. “Renegade, come along. Thank you for setting the example.” The earth pony smiled at me while the pegasus and Coffee Stain helped me up.

The two stallions nuzzled each other and exchanged a kiss, which made Coffee Stain and I do a double take, then turn back to them. “So Renegade Wing, would you mind introducing us to your new friends?”

Renegade nodded and turned with a flourish of his wings to his two parents? “Oh right, yes, this is Wandering Sunrise. Markerlight here says I should not let others be picked on and that not acting is just as bad as being the one who is causing the problem.” He then turned to the earth pony, “This is my other dad, Arcane Gears. I have two dads, so I know what it is like to be picked on. I just transferred since my dad, Markerlight, has been deployed to help defend Stalliongrad.”

I nodded and trotted over to him, giving him a tight hug. It was wonderful to me to see something so nice. Anyone not picking on me over being a blank flank still or being in a relationship with Coffee Stain. This was still before my parents found out, they still just thought we were really good friends. Teachers decided so long as it did not cause any disruption during class; to say nothing. “Thank you… so much.” I felt tears welling up as the realization I could make friends too. I could just live and let live. I had protectors in Coffee Stain, Renegade Wing, and his parents. It was a wonderful feeling.

“Everybody knows that you have to protect each other; you have to so you can keep your hopes up.” Arcane Gears said and smiled at Markerlight as we made our way towards their home for dinner. They insisted and we had to put a phone call in to my parents to make it okay. Coffee Stain would have stayed at my house anyway. Her mother was MIA.

Their house was nice, as we walked up to it. It was one of the cookie cutter style homes that were mass produced for soldiers. They had painted it a bright white with a red stripe, just like Markerlight’s hair. Blue gnomes with Arcane Gear’s cutie mark shirts dotted the lawn. Each day the siege was getting driven back and the city was under less and less pressure. I had my first ice cream cake just a week ago on my birthday.

Now we were approaching one of the first recent constructions that was not just complete prefab or a reconstructed building. I had to still live in the rowhouse, but they had a lawn. It was being used to grow stalks of corn and rows of potatoes but they had actual dirt in the ground. Renegade got excited and flew in a circle overhead. “Renegade, I know you are excited to have new friends, but please keep yourself in check.” The sudden outburst from Arcane Gears caused Renegade to lose control mid flight and head towards the ground. Markerlight jumped into action, putting his chest up to the sky and catching his son so he wouldn’t hit the dirt.

It was wonderful, and Coffee Stain and I were going to enjoy this evening; at the very least we could still hold hooves when we got into the house. Markerlight laughed with his son holding him tight and motioning his eyes towards us. “I know those two little fillies are taken, but have you noticed any filly you have your eye on?”

Renegade was suddenly filled with a blush that could only be described as adorable as he fidgeted. “Well, ya know, there is this one pegasus filly. With umm… pink hair, and she has a white coat, like those two but older; she has her mark already, too!”

Coffee Stain tapped her hoof with an whoo whoo! “I know, Rainshine, right? The nerdy one whose reading all the time with the, powder blue eyes?” Renegade nodded and Coffee Stain held onto my hoof tighter. “We do not talk to her much but if you want, Sunrise and I can talk to her for you and pass her a note or two.” I gulped nervously and yelped as I was pulled along towards their happy home. Something so rare, a sanctuary that was actually joyous in this war.

“Hoof Holding? Really? How lewd! Do you have any idea the things I’ve had to keep secret at my parties?” Pink asked, rolling her eyes and I shot a glare back at her.

Have you ever actually been in love? Really in love? Pink suddenly looked like I had shot her. Her eyes were wide with surprise and she took a half push away from me. She grimaced and stuck her tongue out at me when she recovered. Oh come on, Pink, you’re better than that. You are better than those fillies that picked on me. I guess you haven’t, have you?

“Some of us were running the war, running the country. We couldn’t just stop and be in love. You got lucky and don’t know the blessed life you had.” I grimaced back at her and we had a staring contest as we plummeted into the next wave of light. The next memory taking its turn.

I was inside a Ministry of Morale building. Coffee Stain was to my left, in full eternal scout uniform and body armor. For someone only slightly larger than me, that was quite intimidating and cute at the same time. I can’t say I did not like the look of her flank in hardened armor. To my right was Silver Zoom; he was out of his disguise. Instead he was wearing a set of pegasus power armor. It was black, heavily plated but fitted well to him and made for wings. A large scorpion tail protruded from the back where his tail should have been, with a very deadly looking spearpoint at the tip.

I was seated between them and in front of us, pacing, was Pinkamenia Dianne Pie. Her hair was straight with a single white stripe of grey and age running through her. She had bags under her eyes as she sipped her coffee. She was slamming her hooves hard enough into the floor that I could see the slight groove that formed from where she had done this many times before.

The office we were in had new assaultron class robots. They were four legged, with a massive laser included in their eye sensor. While they had the colors of Sweetie Belle, one of the founders of Stable-Tec, they had Robco. Industries markings. They spoke with Sweetie Belle’s voice; just electronically altered. Their hooves were equipped with heavy metal claws and, unlike the ponytrons, they moved quickly. Almost like realistic ponies or even a zebras’ speed, if somewhat lacking the grace or better refined movements a living creature could do. They hummed with a magical fission core you could hear when you got near them.

“Let me get this straight.” Pink started to speak as she stamped on the floor.

“Ma’am, ya see—” Pink threw up a hoof to silence Silver Zoom before he could even start.

“When I am finished. You have ruined my pie today. Sunrise had to defend herself for a start. Making you worthless!” She snapped to him and shattered her coffee cup against his Shadowbolt power armor chest. “And you! You are an eternal scout! Yet you neglected to tell me or anyone for that matter, you were the lover of a target of an internal affairs investigation!” She was shouting so loud that the assaultrons started to move in response. With a snap of her hoof in the air, moving so fast it had an actual sound to it, the assaultrons stood down.

“Go on, explain it to me. Explain to me this level of shitting in my cake batter.” I felt her yelling at both of them and couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped up and moved between Coffee Stain and Pink.

“Leave them alone! I hit 88 with a field modified anti-tank grenade bundle. HE DIED! I saw him burn up in flames and scream in agony.” I was panting and puffing. I was genuinely mad. My night with 88 had been the worst one yet. “You have your evidence, why do you not move in and seize them? 88 came back to life, I do not know how and yet you continue this investigation and do not stop them from torturing me!” I stomped towards Pink, every word getting me closer and closer to her.

I felt cold steel wrapped around my neck as an assaultron got ahold of me. It wasn’t clawing into the flesh yet but it was terrifying to know they could wrap around my neck with one claw. I glared at Pink, undeterred. If she could kill me for this, I would be dead already. “Assaultron, stand down. She is a little filly without a weapon, she is no threat to me.” She turned to me and put a hoof up to my chin as the assaultron released me. She shifted my head to each side, examining me.

“Good, it didn’t hurt you. These new robots are amazing in capabilities, but they are still using outdated A.I. from the ponytron models.” Pink snorted and shoved my head back down to look level with the ground. “What do you mean he got back up?”

I snorted and glared at her. I reached out for Coffee Stain’s hoof and she hesitantly took it. It was my turn to be more determined as I yanked the hoof. I pulled her close until we were shoulder to shoulder. “He was blown to bits, and he remembered being destroyed like that. He remembered dying. He gave me every single detail with his torture session.” I growled and held onto Coffee Stain’s hoof tighter. I was fighting the tears in my eyes and the response of my heart breaking. I was remembering every cut of the knife his magic healed away. “He came back to life and was at my house within an hour. How is that possible?”

Pink walked behind her desk, taking a seat in her chair and placing her chin to rest upon her hooves. “That is what we are waiting to find out. I don’t know how, and it drives me up the wall like a spoiled banana cream pie. Now, I can’t exactly move on an enemy that gets up from utter destruction like that.” She reached into her desk and pulled out a pink ment-al. Pink meant it had been altered to a party-time state. Much more potent than anything you could get without a prescription. She smashed it with a hoof and used a knife to spread out the remains into a line.

“So how do we proceed from here?” I gripped Coffee Stain’s hoof as Pink finished speaking and snorted the powder up her nose. Silver Zoom winced at her doing the drug right in front of all of us.

“Ma’am, I recommend we move forward with full apprehension team. A team of Shadowbolts and Ministry of Morale power armor troops. We shoot to capture the targets alive.” Pink nodded and looked at Coffee Stain. Silver Zoom turned to her as well.

“I will see what FIlly Scouts are combat trained and available!” Coffee Stain yanked her hoof away to salute. I tilted my head.

“The eternal scout process, it makes you effectively immortal right?” I asked her trying to piece this together.

Coffee Stain nodded, “We mostly stop aging, but we can still be killed should you apply enough explosives and time. I will not survive a megaspell or a large enough charge of C4. Just bullets generally are not enough to put me down for good. That grenade bundle you used would be lethal if it hits me as you described it, though.” I groaned and looked at Silver Zoom, who only shot me a quick glance.

I turned back around to Pink and waited for her decision. She waved a hoof, “Everybody knows we broke all of nature’s laws a long time ago. DO what you need to, apprehend them, and find out exactly how they get back up. Dismissed!”

“Wow, I remember that conversation. Too bad it was the last one we had. I mean, the bombs fell the next week. Wait! Does that mean the next memory is the real spoiled milk of all these?”

I looked down as we fell through the abyss further and faster. There wasn’t a light this time, at least at first; then I realized the light was black. It somehow made the abyss even darker. I looked at Pink and reached out, embracing her as we fell into the dark. “It’s okay, Sunrise. I’ll be there for you when you come out. So will Nyota, okay?”

I know what is on the other side and I am truly not ready to go through that again.

Pink smiled and stroked my mane with a gentle smile on her face. She kissed my forehead, “Your parents would be proud of you. I am proud of you. So much so that no jokes, no cake, or pie references here. I want you to know that if you were my child, you have done right. I’ll be here on the other side with your friends.” I nodded and Pink held me tight. “Your mom may not be here, but I am and always will be. If I have to be the closest thing to your mother you ever have again, I can do that.”

What about my best friend?

Pink blinked a few times and I saw tears forming in her eyes. She was actually crying, “Pinkie Promise, I can be your best friend.” Darkness took us as her words became distant.

I was in the street. It was nighttime, it was a clear night. The shield hummed and glowed overheat. Its glow was completely overshadowed by a roaring fire next to me. I was on the ground, wincing in pain, trying to get up as my mouth tasted asphalt and blood. I started to stand up. I closed my eyes, swallowing the taste in my mouth.

The sound of a burning building and cracking timbers echoed nearby. I could feel the heat of the flames against the cold of the night. Broken glass littered the ground from the shattered windows. I could smell the cordite, something exploded. I opened my eyes to look at my surroundings, nearby combat was raging.

A set of pony legs held a weapon aloft in TK nearby. Laser fire sizzled across the air and burned near the hooves, I swore several shots impacted into the figure I couldn’t make out. “Oh screw you, you stupid lackey!” The return fire of a M1 Grand Apple echoed until the ping of it’s ammunition running out ripped crisp in the air. Coffee Stain was on the ground. She was covered in cuts, a fresh bullet wound in her shoulder. She was crying; trying to stand up. Her white coat was suddenly blue and her mane was less coffee brown and more burnt brown. She looked at me with eyes that felt like I was staring into a starry abyss.

This was the look I had seen in the wasteland. This was the first time I had seen what being an Eternal Scout had done to her. She shut her eyes, trying to push herself to move through the pain. I looked up to see Silver Zoom slam into the sidewalk, right in front of the burning building. He bounced twice off the ground and rolled to a stop.

Staggering back to his hooves, Agent 88 walked upright, looking uninjured. “Dammit! Four times, four recombulations. I thought I could take a wonderbolt; I was wrong. Even a retired one nearly drained the device completely. One more time. If you just had one more time in you.” The M1 Grand Apple clattered to the ground. It was a modified version, one for a pony Coffee Stain’s size. It had Coffee Stain’s cutie mark in the stock butt.

He took Coffee Stain’s gun? When did she get a gun? He used it to kill him? Silver Zoom was trying to stand, his power armor was cut to pieces. One of his wings was completely severed, a bloody stump oozing from where it had been.

“Dammit… not as young as I used to be. Just need, YAHHH!” Silver Zoom screamed out as 88 stepped right onto the stub of the wing.

“Shut up! I’ve had enough of you three pieces of garbage.” The power armor was crippled; the shots had hit right where it counted, and Silver Zoom wasn’t moving without forcing it. “Now die!” Silver Zoom pulled a grenade with his other wing but didn’t have a chance to throw or pull the pin. 88 picked up the rifle and started beating Silver Zoom in the face with it. It was not quick or clean. He kept smashing him over and over again.

I grabbed the steel gray apple and pulled it under my chest’s barrel. I couldn’t stand, not under my own power. My right leg was broken, it was like it was a bullet magnet. Three wounds oozed from it, one cut and two small caliber gunshot wounds.

I watched as 88 used his magic to repeatedly smash against Silver Zooms busted helmet till finally there was a sickening crunch that echoed over the impacts. The sound of a skull being cracked and brains bashing out. The next hit was a greasy wet thud. I felt so much pain. I can’t move! I can’t act! No! Silver Zoom! There was a weak cry and then a crunch.

“Resist and bite.” Silver Zoom managed before the next strike made his body twitch and shudder till he stopped moving all together.

“Stupid idealist. Hope is dead and everybody knows it. This war only has one way to end. You may have been an elite among elites,” 88 spat on the dead body of Silver Zoom, “ but you are still a blind idealist. This war ends with me in a stable, you in a grave, and all the world burning. Stop trying to fight like it ends any other way.”

I coughed. I couldn’t stay still anymore. I had been friends with Silver Zoom. He said everything would be okay, he would protect me. “Silver Zoom, no, please.” I begged pathetically into the ground.

“Shut up you little white jizz stain! I swear we are not allowed to do anything to you just because our place in the stable has to be safe.” He turned to Coffee Stain as he walked up to us, throwing the rifle away. “So I’ll kill your stupid little girlfriend first!” He started to lift Coffee Stain up with his TK and she cried out in pain. Her scream of agony ripped through the air as sirens blared in the distance.

“NO!” I screamed, trying to force my broken leg to work. I was trying to force myself back up to my hooves. “LET HER GO! Or I’ll KILL MYSELF! RIGHT HERE!” I yelled back. I don’t know where the energy came from but the cries of Coffee Stain were too much to bear. I grabbed a piece of broken glass and putting it up to my throat. I pressed hard till it pricked me. My body winced in pain and I had to close my eye on that side to keep the glass pressure there. To keep my threat of ruining his plan the only way I knew how. My blood warmed my hoof while I waited for 88 to make a decision.

“You little brat!” He dropped Coffee Stain in a heap. My tail was holding the grenade, keeping it concealed inside the hair. I looked him in the face as 88 walked up to me.

I will never forget his face. He grabbed the piece of glass in his TK and threw it to the ground, holding me up by my broken leg. Searing eyes of pure hatred glared down past the white glow of his magic. The ripping white hot pain that seared into me was unrivaled. I wanted to just black out and let him win. It hurt so much as he physically held me with his hoof and then put me face to face with him. I was fighting to stay conscious, desperately trying to hang on. I failed you, Silver Zoom! I won’t fail Coffee Stain too!

“Alright you little shit, you have my attention. Now I can’t kill your half and half breed stalliongrad ass. Stupid mud pony,” he spat on me. “You have to make it to that stable or we don’t get in. So what is it gonna be, the easy way.” He nodded towards Coffee Stain then looked back at me. He gripped onto my leg and forced me to full consciousness by squeezing my wounds. “Or the hard way?”

I whimpered and mumbled, trying to find the strength to speak properly. 88 leaned in closer still, so close his spit hit my teeth. “Speak up, little cunt. Her life is on the line, you ain’t got the strength to say it out loud.”

I bit my lip to force myself to move. My adrenaline gland was on overdrive. I had to act, I had to save her. “His last words, were not idealistic speak.” I whispered to 88. I smiled very slowly. I looked at Coffee Stain and her eyes were lit up with the glint and shape of the grenade coming out. She was shaking her head as I looked at her over 88’s shoulder. My smile broadened into a smirk.

“What are you? Brain damaged? Did we actually screw up already?” I pulled the pin to the grenade with my back left hoof cup. The ping made 88 look at me, stunned as my smile turned into a laugh. 88 opened his mouth stunned and tried to speak.

I tossed the grenade up to my good foreleg and shoved it right in. The steel apple punched through his teeth and lodged in his throat as I lashed up and chomped down onto his leg holding me. My full force bite drew blood and he let out a scream, recoiling and scrambling to get the grenade out of his throat. His last words were not idealistic speak, they were an order.

I jumped onto Coffee Stain and put my body between her and him, shielding her. Then suddenly, we were in the air. Two red hooves were holding each of us, as a pegasus labored to get us into the air. I watched as 88’s head exploded into pieces and he fell over dead. “STOP! NO! GO BACK!” I shouted.

I looked up to see Markerlight in full combat armor raising an eyebrow. “We have to make sure! We have to be certain he is gone!” Markerlight was just as stunned by my request as I was to see him.

He turned around and landed near the bodies. I pulled on his plasma rifle attached at his hip. The battle saddle not giving way. “Sunrise, what is going on? That is Silver Zoom and he is dead. Who is this?”

“I’ll explain later! Listen to me—oh Celestia, it hurts!” I grabbed my leg and held it tight to my chest, falling into the ground. Coffee Stain was coming back to consciousness and looked up at him, wincing as she saw me crying on the ground. I kept sobbing, defeated. I was at a loss; I couldn’t keep going. I had no weapons, no power to end this. He was right there, his head destroyed. And I could not act.

Coffee Stain groaned at Markerlight and he looked at her confused, “By order…” her voice was incredibly weak but her eyes opened and looked at me determined. I looked at her, we shared a lovers stare that did not want to end. “Of the Ministry of Morale and Filly Scout Eternal Scout division, soldier; you are ordered to destroy that corpse till it is ash.” I heard the words, Markerlight staggered back and looked down at 88, then at Coffee Stain.

“Do it now!” She managed cried out through her own injuries and agony. Markerlight looked at Silver Zoom and then at us. I dragged myself over to Silver Zoom, crying. I couldn’t look at what was left of his face.

“I failed you…” I whimpered as I held onto his lifeless body. He was still warm and his armor was hot from the fire. “I failed you…” Markerlight approached and hit a few commands on his PipBuck 1000 attached to his power armor. He was reading something when he turned and opened fire on the corpse of 88. He fired shot after shot, as I wept and cried out. The building fire’s red was silenced by bursts of green plasma over and over. The pain in my heart, the pain in my body, I had never known something so terrible. Markerlight did not stop firing until 88 was a pile of bright green fluffy goo that was smoldering into the concrete.

It should have ended there, it should have been over. We should have checked the pile of goo, his box was in there. We could have ended this and we did not check the pile of plasma goo! My world tumbled into darkness. I felt the embrace of Coffee Stain, flying through the air, the scar across my belly made so much sense. I felt the warmth of Markerlight, the warmth of Coffee Stain. I wanted to believe everything was going to be better. Just like I did then.

Markerlight had saved me twice, and yet I never properly said thank you. Silver Zoom was dead. I never got to say goodbye. I felt so relieved, my tormenter was dead. I had avenged Silver Zoom. My only two tormentors left were being chased, and would be apprehended so very soon.. But everybody knows how the war would close. And everybody knows you can’t put monsters down that easily.

I snapped awake, panting for air covered in sweat. Quick Stitch was standing over me, monitoring medical charts. Nyota was helping him and acting as his nurse. They both rushed to me as I realized my right eye was covered; it felt strange and fuzzy to look out of it. I started to remove the eye covering for it when Nyota’s hoof stopped mine. “No, Sunny, you cannot uncover it or it won’t heal.”

I groaned. My body felt warped. Every part of me was stiff and hard to move. The life support machine next to me pulsed with every beat of my heart. My breathing was slow and not rhythmic. “Good, you’re awake.” Quick Stitch declared and gave me the slightest of hugs. “I thought for a moment you might go into a full coma. You had so much brain activity; what was happening.”

I gulped and licked my lips to ease the dry feeling. “Memories, lots of them.” Pink came into focus, under the eyepatch I was wearing. She was next to a wall with a break in it, hammering away with the same beat as the throbs of my headache. Several planks were stretched over the stone and held in by nails as thick as a hoof.

“There! I have battened that breach, and double battened it. Now. Stop. Scratching. At. My. Wall.” She emphasized each word with another strike of her hammer. My world hurt, my body ached, and I had a whole lot of explaining to do.

Level Up Progress - Reached Level 14! Wait? You didn’t do anything except get memories. Oh right, memories contain XP and you technically killed a boss. A boss I didn’t give you credit for till you remembered you did it. Crap… so not fair.

Level 14 Perk - Juggermare Gain 50HP To Your Max. Holy Crap! You know you can take a hit but this is insane! A bullet to the head is like a doctor’s needle for you, isn’t it?