"We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin." - Andre Berthiaume

I struggled to move and found myself lying in the bed, still flinching at the sound of the springs creaking. I winced and groaned. When was I going to have a peaceful night's sleep and stop reliving these memories? Why couldn't I have the happy memories? Why couldn't I just relive my life from start to finish, instead of skipping around to wherever seems convenient?

“Memories don't work that way, Sunrise, and besides this was one of the least painful—”

No Pink, it wasn't! That was by far one of the most painful! That was the last time Stable-Tec let me see my parents! You have any idea how painful that— Now it was my turn to be interrupted.

“Why yes, Sunrise, as a matter of fact, I do! You wanna know how I died? I died on the day I was supposed to go get cleaned up off my Party-Time Mint-Als. I was clinging to a figurine of my best friend, the friend I had sent a note to, begging her to walk me to the clinic.” Pink got quiet, she drifted off and was looking through not at me with a thousand yard stare. “I never saw that friend again!”

For once, the super-happy facade cracked and she had tears rolling down her cheeks. Her mane deflated into straightened hair and I could only stare at the corner of my vision where she was contained. She grabbed one of the bars on my status indicator and blew her nose with it. “I firmly wish I’d done it sooner; that I’d stopped and realized the damage I was doing. Sorry, Sunrise, you don’t need my regrets.” She put the leg damage indicator back, “Let’s make sure you don’t have the same regrets okay?”

I paused and looked at the pink pony in my vision, my EFS read I was dehydrated and my mind was a bit numb, still feeling disconnected from my body. I'm sorry Pink, I didn't mean to upset you. Thank you for trying to be my friend.

“I know you didn't, but I wanted you to know that I know your pain in a different way. I wouldn't try to help you if you couldn't understand my happiness as well as my pain.” I blinked awake now, with the need for some of that special coffee we had gotten. Pink had poofed her mane back up and looked all happy go lucky once again.

Chosen me? You’ve chosen those who, who, can-

“Of course, silly, but when I say I’ve ‘chosen’ you, you had all the right conditions to start to feel everything I did and learn all my abilities. You were what Stable-Tec wanted anyway, and now that you exist, they are spending quite a lot of resources to find you, and no longer hurting those other poor fillies and colts.” Pink started this conversation by bouncing around my E.F.S. compass then she slowly that stopped. She looked thoughtful at the word Stable-Tec then her mane deflated again by the time she stopped talking.

So I need to stay loose and I need to get DJ Pon3 to be really loud about me, don't I?

“Well, I mean, just keep doing good deeds. I'm sure Watcher and all of the other agents DJ Pon3 has will get the information to him. Now we just need to find a way to tell Stable 43 that you are who they are looking for.”

Great, something else to mull over. Kidnapped pegasus, secret stables, Pinkie Pie picking me out of a bunch of fillies and colts, being actively hunted by what was left of Stable-Tec. Ya know if this list doesn't start getting shorter, I'm going to start getting very upset with life in general. Right, things to do.

I rolled over to find Nyota not in the bed. The creak of bed springs made me flinch like sleeping on a bed of nails. I realized Nyota must have gotten up and put two of the beds together. Once I cleared the beds and got onto the floor I saw Nyota coming back in with my clothes and a fresh pot of coffee.

I grabbed the black nectar of the gods and started to take a big gulp, then stopped and sipped it instead. If you take your time drinking it, it gives you an excuse to stay here longer. "Morning."

"Morning." He had a warmth to him, glowing pleasantly next to me. First time I'd seen him not simply grunt at us while cooking breakfast. "I hope I didn't wake you."

I shook my head and was grateful to not have the aches from sleeping on the ground, not to mention the comforting warmth of having being held during the night. It was relaxing; my world got a little less stressful. I was able to close my eyes. Nyota’s presence now provided a piece of care I felt like I’d been missing my whole life. "No, which is the scary part. My PipBuck must have woke you up last night.” I was looking at my PipBuck now and seeing lots of different prior warnings in the night, ranging from high heart rate to outright dehydration warnings that were going down now.

"I was going to ask about that. Have you had to deal with this since we all started traveling together?" Nyota sipped at his coffee and I took the chance to as well. It was bitter, earthy, and altogether entirely satisfying to indulge in for a while. "You also went... away again. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't remember it for once, thankfully." I took another sip of hot, bitter, black liquid. "I can recall it verbatim if you like. Torture at the hands of the Ministry of Morale, memories before I had to go in the stable with my parents, memories of the experiments inside the stable.” I stopped and shuddered at the thought of beds creaking, straps groaning against my movement and needles in my flanks. “As for how I deal with it or when, I don't know when it started but the moment I woke up in the pool, all of the memories started and I just thought it was suppose to be this way.”

"Wow..." Nyota walked over and took a seat on the floor next to me, "Did holding you help at all?"
I thought about it for a bit and rolled my shoulder which made the bed squeak and me flinch at the noise. “It didn’t do anything for my mind, but at least got me into the bed.”

Nyota chewed his lip a bit before taking another sip of coffee. Something on his face was written a need to say something but he didn’t know how to. “I mean, we can talk it out, Sunrise. The others are already up and have things to do. You’re the last to wake up.” He paused and I reached out away from the bed to grab his hoof.

He grabbed mine back as we held coffee in our opposite limbs. “I umm… I think that will take some time for me open up about. One piece at a time okay?”

Nyota nodded and released my hoof to ruffle my mane, “When you’re ready, Sunrise.”

I shrugged and looked up at him as uncertainty flowed through my mind. "Maybe if I start to share them they will go away?"

"Thank you for trusting me to help you," he says honestly and rubbed my back lightly. Oh wow, do Zebra hooves applied gently feel nice. "If you think it will help? Then by all means, I'm all ears."

"Yesterday when I was sleeping, I was in an interrogation room.” I paused for a moment to make sure I got the details right. “Someone calling themselves Appleboom had just injected me with some fluid that made my insides cold while
Ministry of Morale agents 9, 71, and 88 were interrogating me while they argued. They were trying to get me to confess to being a zebra spy attempting to sabotage or steal my dad’s work.” I took a breath and finally looked up at Nyota. “That’s the basics of it; there are other memories of torturing me with cattle prods, unicorn magic, and everything else to get me to say what they wanted.”

“Appleboom argued that I was her experiment subject now and they had to stop under her orders. It was a constant back and forth: those three would show up in the Stable-Tec hospital, at my house... even in the stable.” I took another sip of coffee to clear my throat. A jumble of memories rushed through me with the sip of black liquid paradise. I couldn’t piece it all together, but I remembered that knife.

A shiver passed through my spine and urged me to keep talking as nerves started to fire pain signals for something that wasn't there. “Finally, some other voice—a very booming female voice, with some sense to it that if you disobeyed you committed a mortal sin—told them to do as Appleboom ordered. I never quite figured out who that other voice was, but after that, it all stopped. At least it stopped on that day.” I just looked at the little bit of my coffee I had left. It was a release from a self imposed prison to talk it out, but to finish the coffee felt like it meant the talk was over.

The feeling of having the torture out in the open made it feel like the scream you gave when you broke a bone. That release of painful shrieking somehow dulled the pain and made it real at the same time. Nyota was right, I needed this. I needed to air out all of it; I felt like the sooner the better. My mind raced to put together words, to assemble feelings, and I just ended up spinning my head a bit. Finally I stopped and just watched Nyota take it all in.

Nyota listened intently and the clear look of mortification crossed his features at what he heard. "They... they tortured you?" He put his coffee down, took a step towards me and wrapped me up in an protective embrace. I felt tears on my cheeks I hadn’t noticed before as he stroked my mane. There was a silence between us but that silence bore an understanding: he would protect and heal my mind if I did the same for him. I felt a swimming sensation in my stomach, not the kind that makes you sick but the kind that comes from an inner warmth. I closed my eyes and softly sobbed against his neck. I felt all the pain, anger, and hate of those memories pouring out. I didn’t wanna let go.

“Yay! The great night of hugs has continued into the great morning of hugs!”

Pink! Don't ruin this for me.

"No wonder you have nightmares... at least the cleansing fires took care of those horrid ponies." Nyota declared sharply and with a certainty of his declaration. "Sunrise, I won’t let them hurt you again. And if they are still around, or any pony tries, I’d be happy to finish the job the bombs started."

I looked into his eye with a combination of comfort and horror, "I think they are. I think, when I escaped, they were still performing their experiments. And yes, I was tortured. My dad even had to watch them do it to me." I stared at the coffee as my throat dried out. My eyes were still rolling with tears which splashed into the last bits of coffee in the cup. I couldn’t stop now, no matter how much it hurt. This had to get out, it had to, or else I wouldn’t be able to stand up today. I felt such shame and regret at being so helpless.

My hoof started to shake and Nyota grabbed it, he held my hoof tight and stopped the shaking. I felt him nudge my cheek in a nodding motion to silently encourage me. “I don't want to let them win. If given a chance, and they were genuinely trying to fix their mistakes, I wouldn't kill them. I think they can be better ponies and they should be allowed to at least try.” My hoof steadied as the seriousness of such an act rolled over me. I couldn’t hate them, I don’t know why but in that moment I felt a deep pity for the Ministry of Morale agents and even Stable-Tec. I really wish mom or dad were here right now, I know mom would at least be screaming for blood. That felt like it should be what I want but no, I can’t hate them. I still can't raise my shotgun to another pony to kill. Did I actually believe that such awful, unremorseful ponies could become better?

“If you didn't, Sunrise, you wouldn't say it.”

"No. They weren't ponies, they were monsters, and monsters need to be put down." Nyota tightened his grip and resumed the protective holding. His voice was borderline foaming rage. His emotions were on full blast now; he wasn’t his normal super calm or collected self. I felt a tear roll down my own neck, his tear! He moved like he was shielding my body from some unseen assailant.

I felt welcome, but at the same time like I was still being babied. I wanted to tell him to let me get it all out, and now he was slowly cutting off my air. I tried to shift in his grip and he just held me close. I smelled his coat with the sandalwood scent and started to slip into a state where some little part of me felt like it had finally been allowed to see the light of day. That slowly grew and I just wrapped my hooves against his neck and held him back, at least till I was almost choking.

Nyota! Air! I need! Just at the thought he sensed it and released his hold just enough for the hug to be a protective shield of zebra between myself and the world. For the first time in weeks, I felt safe.

"What did your dad do for work?" I could see he was trying to change the subject from something unpleasant to something else. He loosened his grip on my shoulders and stood apart from my seat on the bed again. He had the expression of a curious foal who just found out how to put the shapes in the right order.

"It made sure we got a place in the stable which was supposed to be safe. I never got a complete picture of what the work was, and I believe it is something that caused the war to get worse. He was working on some sort of new powered armor." I felt the tension still in the air, but it was tension that was leaving my body. Then, something he said bugged me and boiled to the surface. "Nyota, I have to know. Are you saying you wouldn't give them a chance to make it right?"

"Given what they've done willingly... would you? I wouldn't want to run the risk that they would simply go back to torturing and abusing ponies because it's for the greater good," he replied and looked at me with a question that couldn't be voiced. Nyota resigned himself to a sigh and hung his head. "But, I will give them the chance, if that's what you want.” Nyota steeled his gaze at me and I could feel the shield of hardness coming back to his features. “Unlike Alguacil, I'm always tempted to give someone another chance, but personally I draw the line at hurting children."

"Everyone deserves a second chance." I paused for a bit and then groaned. "Even if they are a murdering psychopath. Before I would be willing to kill them, I must give them a chance to surrender and do better. Mercy is a part of me, and I feel if I don't give that chance, I'm no better than anypony trying to hurt us.” I chewed my words carefully, I wanted to make sure he understood. That driving need to see ponies be better than what they were. Even Pink was now on edge staring at me, silently taking it all in. Nyota took a half step forward and looked into my eyes with his own, even if one had a patch I felt it’s gaze. I welcomed it more than anything to know I had his full attention. “I have to be certain that any pony who dies at my hooves or the hooves of my friends truly deserves it.”

"Then I will do my best to follow that, but if that second chance leads to you getting hurt, there is nothing that will stop me from ending them." Nyota looked at me and the way he spoke sent a chill down my spine all the way to my hooves. "Because no one hurts my friends willingly and lives to tell the tale."

"Ya know, I can respect that. You are at least honest with me about it.” I shifted off the bed and stood up in front of him. It felt so much lighter now on my hooves. It was like talking it out and letting another pony bear the burden actually made it magically not as hard on my mind. I grinned up at him, no longer just a friend but a protector, one I welcomed. I blushed as his breath rolled over my nose, and what started this line of trust rolled back to the surface. “So did you wanna talk about the ‘cute’ remark, or what I've read in the tactics section of that officer training manual?"

"I think you're cute. It's as simple as that." he blushed a bit as he said that. The big zebra even shifted his hooves like a nervous little colt on his first day of school, "Does it bother you?"
I felt my cheeks burning brightly and I could see the white forming along my green coat. "It’s the way you said it. I want to make sure I'm taking it the way you meant it."

"Well then maybe this will clear things up a bit." Nyota said as he topped off both our mugs with some of the hot coffee from the pot. "I think you're cute, not as a filly but as a mare. People have to grow up fast in the wasteland and you've been adapting to how... insane the wasteland is far better than I did.” He passed me the mug and continued speaking while I stared at him with my jaw to the floor, completely flabbergasted. “I admire that you're strong willed, cute, and compassionate. All very attractive traits on their own, but you're also the first person to honestly apologize to me for accidentally shooting me. So, definitely scored some points there." Nyota finished this with a chuckle and a pat on my shoulder.

Is he really serious about this? I ruminated over the coffee in my hoof while the zebra waited for a response. At least he is being patient and Pink isn't interjecting. I Suppose I should just flatly tell him whatever comes to mind.

"Alright, then I'll be clear and honest. It’s flattering and a completely new experience for any pony to refer to me as cute in that way. Ponies my own age picked on me for lack of a cutie mark. Ponies older than me referred to me as cute filly who had potential when I grew up like I still wasn’t old enough to make my own decisions. All because I didn’t have some silly mark on my flank." I took a few moments to breath and inhale. Every word we had spoken played back for me. I couldn't believe how much nicer and yet intense a morning could be in a parking garage town. “What about you? How do you feel about all this?” I leaned up closer to him, practically touching.

I tried to search him for something to reveal what he had to say before he said it. All I got was a welcoming smile and his hoof pushing me away just enough to give him some space. With nothing coming out of him yet, I decided to keep rambling in hopes of getting a response. "Which is why this is completely new to me, and I am going to say, you’re the first pony I have considered staying with outside of my family as more than a friend." I took another breathe and finished my coffee. "That much said, you are a handsome zebra whom I would like to get to know better, even if that means getting to know you better via minefield and raider sniper fire."

"Well, we've already put one of those behind us. Let's hope that sniper fire isn't something we have to deal with, because I don't do well at distances." Nyota laughed again and this time it was a spark of hope. "All that said, thank you. I'm grateful that you weren't weirded out by my confession."

Not sure if I should be mortified at the darkness of the joke of sniper fire or if I should laugh at his comment on range preference.

Finally, after much internal debate and Nyota looking at me realizing I wasn't laughing, I smiled at him. This was the most surreal moment of my life and I didn’t really want it to end. "Honesty is the best policy, sleep gave me some time to think. I just hope no one else notices the spring in my step. Then again with our friends, they’ll notice immediately.” I hung my head and saw a reflection in the bottom of my cup. The series of different shades of green where the layers of armor started and ended.

“The spring in your step, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep that cold calm wasteland stallion demeanor anymore.” Nyota ruffled my mane while chuckling half-hearted but he noticed what I was looking at in the cup. “Sunny, you gonna be okay? You look like some pony shot you after all that.” I looked up at him as a burning need to rub off the outside filth rose. It became like that dirt I could see, represented a piece of me I wanted to wash away. I felt his hoof reach down and lift my head back to look at him. “I take it you don’t like how you look right now?”

“Do you think the showers’ warm? I think I'd like my coat to match in color." Sunrise says referring to the two tones between where her barding protected from most of the elements and her areas exposed during travels.
"Sadly no, they're cold, but at least the water's mostly clean." He set his coffee aside and stepped over to stand in front of me. "I don't know if there are separate showers but I'll keep an eye out while you clean up." He extended a hoof to help me up and I took it with a frown on my face.

"You have no idea how much I miss hot showers, toilets, and clean wate-"

I paused my thought on that last word.

“No peeking right?"

"Oh believe me, I do know, and if you haven't noticed? Most of us walk around naked, if anything I was planning on offering to scrub your back. it's pretty difficult to reach and I'd be a perfect gentlecolt." Nyota mused pleasantly. "If you want I could even shift my eye patch so I couldn't see you."

I furrowed my brow and looked him over like I didn't trust him, or even suspected he might bite me if I wasn't careful. Then my tail moved up and poked at Nyota's chin almost like a police officer accusing him of some wrongdoing. "I would normally guess my tail is telling me it could do it and you should stay out." My tail returned to a normal position. "But instead I think it's betrayed the fact I'd rather you have your eyes open in case someone else comes in."

"Oh right, I forget that your tail is prehensile..." he has the good grace to look sheepish and leans down to nuzzle my cheek, "But you're right, I should be alert so you're safe."

Sunrise nudged him with her flank, "That meant I would rather have you in there where I can see you instead of around the corner. " I paused and looked at him, "Unless you didn't want to let me prove if you were a gentlecolt or not?"

"Ah, sorry, this is just... new to me." Nyota admitted with a sigh. "I'll take that as a challenge to my honor Sunny," he teased as he turned towards the door and I followed him, leading the way to the showers through the busy parking spaces used as streets now. There must have been at least sixty ponies in there.

I think I get what Picline was looking at in a way when she was behind Chifundo. I felt my cheeks burning all the way to the showers and the constant need to stifle a giggle. We got to the showers and I stepped under the running water. This gave me a whole new reason to stifle my voice in pain, the cold water chilled to the bone instantly. It felt like standing in freezing rain during the dead of winter! My teeth chattered and every part of me was shivering in this new icey hell. "You weren't kidding! It's like ICE!”

Nyota stepped up next to me and grinned, "Certainly has its advantages though, you're definitely awake now." He took a seat in the spray and started to rub my back with one hoof while I struggled to adjust to the water. "You'll definitely get used to it, or I’ll get to make fun of you a lot more." I looked at him and gave a grimacing frown.

I shook my head rapidly and defiantly, slinging ice water around us. "No I won't! I swear when I find a hot shower, I'll stay in it for a week!" Then I tensed up when the soap made it where I couldn't see Nyota for a bit. My body began to shake for a whole new reason and I moved away from him just a bit. Something about this shower, the way someone else was scrubbing me, it was setting off a memory I didn't want right now.

"Relax Sunrise, I'm not going to hurt you."My zebra friend tried to reassure me as he stepped closer to continue to scrub the dirt from my coat, " If you stayed in a hot shower for a week, we'll have to bring you food that's not going to get soggy."
I scrubbed the soap from my eyes and turned my head to an uncomfortable position so I could see him, "I hate to ask this, but can you move where I can see you while you work?"

Nyota nodded and started to walk to the front of me, “Though that is going to make this more challenging.”

I lowered my head to make it a little easier and kept my eyes looking at up him, watching his face and every little movement while he reached one hoof past me to rub my mane, "In the stable, when someone was doing something like this it was prep for an experiment." I gulped and nervously shifted my hooves to keep my balance under the terrible chills.

“A tech in a labcoat would wash a filly or a colt clean head to toe. Then take notes.” The cold made me unable to really feel my emotions and kept my rage cooled, I spoke so evenly now that it made Nyota stare at me, concerned. “Like they were creating some baseline before their next test or something. Then it was time for strap downs, shots, agony, pain, and—” I found out that Nyota still tasted like sandalwood on his hoof in the water. Then again a mouth full of soap only make me take a half step away and glare at him as I tried to wash it out and look intimidating at the same time.

"Well," he smiled down at me in as friendly a manner as possible and offered a hug, though he left it my choice to take it or not, much less aggressive than he had been in the room. My guard dropped a bit as I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to take his hug yet or not. Something in the back of my head screamed ‘It’s a trap!’ but it wasn’t Pink saying it. It was an instinct.

"Did they ever offer you a hug?" Those words were all I needed to drop my guard now.

I shook my head and then hopped up to wrap my hooves around him, shaking in the water, "No, and I appreciate them. Even your hoof in my mouth or forced hugs are better than none at all."

He sat while we embraced and when I got back onto all fours he resumed cleaning my coat. The soap and water was a simple means to an end, it cleaned my coat and I felt the dirt being pushed from my body. I could feel the weight of two weeks worth of wasteland falling from my shoulders. The shower was the final release valve. It was like the ice water washed away the blood, explosive residue, and dirt and that represented a final reprieve from the pain, anguish, and torment I had felt carrying my memories on my own. "I'll leave cleaning your tail and other parts to you. But at least your coat matches in color again.”

I nodded, "Thank you." My tail did the rest of the work while I stood in the freezing water, allowing myself to be taken by its heavy icy rhythm that beat over my body and head.

I felt a hoof on my shoulder after a few minutes and turned to look at Nyota, who had cleaned himself off as well. "You're most welcome Sunrise. I have a towel back at the room, you can use it to finish drying off.” Nyota finished rinsing himself off and started to the door, “plus I think the inn should have finished our laundry.”

I quickly followed him out. "I'm gonna have to get used to saying thank you to you, aren't I?" The shivering cold penetrated everything as I walked, the water had pierced my very being to its core, and the cool morning air wasn't helping.

"Not if you don't want to. I'm not doing this for gratitude," He replied as we arrived back at the room and wrapped me in a towel while offering me the hot coffee again. "Besides, I should be thanking you; you're willing to tolerate my advances."
I took the coffee and looked at him dumbfounded, "Advances?"

"I like you, Sunrise," he fired back bluntly, "You're not like other mares in the wasteland. You don't see a scarred and jaded zebra when you look at me, you see a friend. I may hide behind bravado in front of everyone else, but I'm just as lost and afraid of this world as you are. Unlike the others this hasn't been my home my whole life." He took a breath like he expected me to reply to his admission. I just used a hoof to motion him to go on.

"And I feel like I can be a normal pony around you. Like maybe the part of me I lost in Oasis can actually come out and see the daylight again. I may be blunt, crass, and rude about the realities outside, but I don't want you to lose your hope for a better world. I want to stand beside you and make that vision a reality."

I blinked a few times as I took it all in. Well this is certainly a first for me to think about. How had I made other ponies feel since we'd been meeting them in the wasteland?

“Equestria to Sunrise! Nyota is sitting right there waiting on you to reply! GET TO IT!”

Pink don't you rush me or I'm gonna smack you to Tim-Buck-Two! Not sure how yet but I'll do it!

I looked over to Nyota and met his gaze while I spoke, looking him eye to eye as it were. That pun is terrible on so many levels! "I thought you said I wasn't old enough to be 'liked', but I suppose being 196 and not a ghoul is different enough. I mean, you don't look at me like I'm Waffles or the Curator."

Nyota blushed quite a bit at me, using his own words against him, "Yes I did... and that's because honestly? Even as messed up as this world is, there are some things that are still... taboo." He let out a nervous laugh but I kept looking at him with the seriousness of a gravekeeper.

I took a deep inhale of uncertainty. Words failed me for a bit. Both of us took a step away, I wanted to try to figure out what was going on. I finally hung my head, “Nyota, it will have to wait. It will have to wait till I know what I've become since the Stable closed.”

Alright, then let me ask you a point blank question before I have Hacksaw and Picline look me over. Am I a filly or an adult?" There is no kidding or joke hidden here just a harsh stare waiting for his response. He looked shocked and like I might have just tripped a question that shouldn't ever be asked. He bit his lip back and nodded to me.

"I see you as an adult, you have your brand of destiny, what ponies call a cutie mark, and you're a warrior on par with the rest of us," he stood his ground and stood upright. He looked like a soldier waiting for the judgment of a superior officer, judgment I was suppose to give.

“Why? Why do you view me as an adult and others don’t?” I put on the best mare-in-charge voice I could. I wanted to prod him for answers and know. He had a point, but something about his point needed to be driven home and understood.

“Your physical age and size belies your maturity and comprehension of the situations we find ourselves in. Not to mention you are older than any one of us and still cute, not ghoulified or in some other state of decay." He finished the statement and held his chest out proud.

“Oh Sunrise! You are so silly. If you actually knew how old you really were you wouldn't be having this conversation!” Pink tortured me with delightfully mocking glee.

Pink, how old am I? I shot back and she clapped both her hooves over her mouth and clammed up. I choose my next words carefully. "I think the maturity part might be from experiencing 182 years of continuous memory orbs and having to push them out in order to maintain the pony I am away from all the memories I've been bombarded with. And, we'll see how the others feel after I see the doctor." I started slipping my barding on along with my equipment,my armor including the new lining of my duster, and set my helmet and shotgun onto their straps. With a final check of my PipBuck for inventory, I turned to Nyota. "Thank you, if anything it gives us both a reason for not dying anytime soon. At least till I give your question an answer."

Nyota just smiled at me and gave one last hug after I'd gotten dressed, "Indeed, at the very least you understand why I put myself between you and harm now." He ruffled my mane and then brushed it aside. The scent of sandalwood filled the room but also the scent of 'Stallion Allure' filled my nose when I realized my freshly washed barding still smelled of my father somehow.

I got to the hospital uneventfully and Picline was in there, but Hacksaw was not. She had a spring in her step and a bright glow to her expression. “Well hello there, Sunny! Checking up on me after Chifundo took me on a night on the town?” I grumbled at being called Sunny by some pony else. It made me wanna smack some pony for it.

I shook my head. There was no way in all of Tartarus that I wanted to hear about Chifundo’s date right now. “I've been having some issues with drifting off into memories and my friends wanted to get my head looked at. Would you mind giving me an exam?”

“Oh, for a cutie like you? After last night? Not at all! Take off your barding and get on the table.” Picline didn't even wait for me to move before heading to gather several medical instruments.

She did treat me earlier, even if I was unconscious and barely standing. Maybe we should trust her? Oh I really wish Nyota was here. Wait! Was he really the first one I wanted here this morning? Seriously?

“Well Sunrise, I think I would call this a little filly crush if you weren't so much older than you look.” Pink replied and giggled quite a bit, blushing red as she did so.

It took every ounce of my strength to get out of the barding and onto that table. It felt like the table was lava and this mare had asked me to sit in it. I prefer the cold shower right now, as opposed to this cold, leather covered table.
Picline gave the usual exam. She checked my vitals, took a blood sample, tested it for radiation and found I was nearly completely rad free. Wow, that orange stuff really does work a miracle. Once she had run all the physical exams the unicorn nodded with a smile, “You're perfectly healthy as far as I can tell. I mean aside from bumps, bruises, and maybe a minor scrape; nothing to see a doctor over.” Picline looked at me and leaned in close like I was suppose to whisper in her ear. “What exactly is bothering you?”

I back away for space and looked at her slightly weirded out, “Well, since I have left the stable, I've been having moments where I relieve memories or memory orbs I've seen. I zone out, and it is just like probing into a memory orb with a unicorn or a recollector.”

“Well, have you had your first estrus yet?” the mare asked as she turned around with a clipboard and started to check off a few things on the list.

“Well, no, I haven't, is it that big a deal?” I asked rather bluntly and looked at her with my head tilted to one side.
Picline stopped and stared at me dumbfounded. She checked the chart she’d been making a second time and then looked at me. “Do you have some birth control unit or something from Stable-Tec?” Her horn glowed close to my more private area. I flinched and tried to pull away but a hoof stopped me. I wanted to get back, but couldn’t with a hoof holding my flank still.

After just a few seconds she pulled back, “No you don’t. Yes, that may be a problem. You could be a late bloomer, radiation exposure is a possibility, as is taint exposure, but without any other symptoms that makes no sense.” I suddenly felt very self-conscious. Memories of the Stable-Tec doctors tried to rise up within but I pressed them down at Picline’s words and suppressed them as she moved a few things on the chart.

“In any case, I would want to keep you for observation, maybe have Bonesaw do an exploratory probe. Nothing too complex.” I started to get up and walk out, but I had to stay and get through this. I shook my head slowly side to side. My hooves itched and some pressing sense wanted to make me move. Pink popped up in the bottom of my Pip-Buck with a large watch that was pointing to a noon point with the 12 replaced with a “Urgent” sign that pulsed in red.

What? What do you mean urgent? I asked as Pink seemed in a near panic.

“Tell her no and say it out loud. We have to go, time is running out!” Pink bounced around the screen in a near panicked pinball fashion that ricocheted at the edges of my vision.

“No, we can’t stay yet, something pressing is why we’re here and we have to hurry.” I have no idea why we were in such a hurry, Hot Cross Buns has been missing six months why the urgency now?

“Well alright, you are well past the age the first one. I’d put you easily at 16 on physical appearance but without a proper DNA test no idea.” She paused and made some notes on the chart. I watched her nervously, the sense of urgency Pink was giving getting more pressing and my hoof itched even more. “Should have happened from what I can tell, probably at least two years ago. Unsure why you haven’t hit another growth spurt yet, the first one can be quite intense if you are unprepared.” Her horn glowed and she levitated a small plastic bottle out. She removed 3 pills from it and then resealed it before wrapping those in a set of tin foil and placing it into my lap. “There ya go, those will suppress it for 12 hours each, but after that it will hit back worse than a hellhound on buck.”

She shuddered and giggled a bit, “There have been mares known to do some crazy things when their first one hits, why when I was...” She turned to me, “Hey wait did you say stable?” I was watching her features and at the mention of stable her demeanor changed drastically. It was like the mare's visage got darker and angrier at the mention of stable.

I nodded cautiously and didn’t take my eyes off her. Suddenly her horn glowed as she got very close to me and I felt it, the sharp cold of metal against my throat.

My eyes hadn't seen where the knife had come from because all my attention was fully on the mare. Her stare was wild, not quite like that of the raider's drug induced one, but close to what I expected it was like to see me enraged. “Little mare, I think you're fine. I mean you’re a stable pony so you’ve got another reason for visiting don’t you?”

I slowly move my head side to side, pulling back to get just enough space to move between blade edge and throat, “I umm, have been having a few episodes in my sleep. Just some memories coming up is all.” I replied as I felt my tail starting to pull my revolver from my pack on the other side of the table.

No, bad tail! We can diffuse this, calm down. She is just a bomb—a living breathing bomb—that needs a little diffusing before the timer hits zero and I lose my head.

“Oh, really? Because if I didn't know any better, I'd say some precious little mare was looking to see how the date with their friend went. Or how I felt about it or if their friend was going to stay with me and worried about that.” Picline pressed the knife deeper and deeper as she spoke; it was very close to cutting through the skin and slicing my throat wide open. “I mean that is why you are really here isn’t it? Nothing to do with a Stable righttt?” My eyes never left hers.

Okay, a flat-out insane bomb that has completely lost her mind!

“Sunrise, just be very careful what you say: our lives depend on it.” Pink looked like she was strangling as she spoke, holding her throat and turning colors. I could feel a cold sweat breaking out on my skin.

“Picline, I didn't come in here for any other reason. I assure you, I assume Chifundo was a perfect gentlecolt and you two had a lovely time. I mean, if you wanna tell me about it, you can,” I assured her and tried to look for a way to get away from the unicorn. With her body blocking my rear legs from moving and the knife at my throat, I was running out of room to lean back. “Or since you have given me a clean bill of health, I can just, ya know, be on my way.”

Picline sneered at me and her eyes looked over my face. She was chewing over the words, and she bit her lip before I felt the knife pull away from my windpipe and the steel stopped warming against my skin.

Picline took two steps back, and that was all I needed. I snatched my belongings and didn't stay to put them on. I was out the door faster than a pegasus diving to get the last cider cup. I stopped outside, hyperventilating and doubled over on the street. Quick Stitch and Nyota found me there, with Chifundo coming up behind them. They all looked at me, concerned, and Nyota seemed like he was ready to attack someone. His facial expression was subtle, but I’d seen him be paranoid enough to know he was close to striking. After our talk earlier, I suspected he was going to be extra protective now too.

“What is with all the clatter and what is the matter?” Chifundo asked as he stepped over to help me up. I motioned him away and looked up at him. His face was still glowing, despite the look of concern.

Pink, what do I do? He looks so happy despite his worry for me.

“Sunrise, I hate to say this, but don't tell him. Just play it off as radiation sickness from yesterday filtering out of you. I don't care how you do it, but don't ruin Chifundo's happiness right now. Picline isn't that bad. You've trusted me before, trust me now.”

I forced a few coughs and then looked up at him, “Oh, nothing! Just a side effect from all the rad poisoning we got yesterday. I'll be fine.” I assured him and then went to stand up fully. “Besides, I've got a training session with Nyota while you gather everyone else.” I told him and gave a half hearted smile.

I went back to our room to drop off my things, and Corners was in there prepping her own gear. An idea hit me for a way to say thank you to Nyota. I trotted up to Corners and hugged her box, then I reached into Nyota's pack and pulled out his armor. The stuff was heavy!

This is an Equestrian sergeant's combat gear! This stuff is made of steel plating, and you might as well be a miniature tank against smaller caliber weapons. But how can he move in this?

I took the stubbornite chair—now turned into a stool by all the slicing up and re-purposing done—and then turned to Corners. “Here, this is Nyota's armor and the last of the stubbornite we have left. Take it to the tailor and get it tailored for him, then replace as many of the plates as you can with the stubbornite.” After I finished giving her instructions, she cautiously took the armor in under her box.

“I'm trusting you, Corners. You said you wanted to be a better pony; now go prove it.” I stared at her sternly and then she nodded and started to prance out. Then the box pone stopped moving and turned her box around.

“How will I know his measurements?” Corners asked, rather confused.

I looked out of the window to see Nyota with his eye patch towards me while smoking a cigarette. I stepped into SATS and got a precision outline of his figure. SATS was pretty easy to use from there to get some rough measurements. Once I tweaked the settings, it gave me in inches and centimeters the various lengths of his legs, body, and head as I scrolled between targets.

This was probably never something the creators of this spell ever intended. But now I know you can use SATS to get precise measurements of stuff you can see! At least as close to precise as anything you could target to blow apart.
I stepped out of SATS and wrote down some measurements with my pencil and paper. This process took about three times going in and out of the targeting spell, but once I was done, I had a fairly good idea of Nyota's dimensions for his armor. I handed the note to Corners with a smirk on my face, “There we go, that’s his measurements. Now get moving before he gets suspicious.”

We headed out of the tavern and Corners went to the right towards Cross Stitch's tailoring salon while I turned left to go see Nyota. Nyota immediately welcomed me with a hug and a smile as the cool air hit us. It was strange to me, now, to be out of armored barding.

Nyota motioned me to follow him as soon as I exited the tavern and we headed near the entrance to The Roof; there was more space here, less shacks and no shops on the first floor. Most of the floor was dedicated to built-in defenses. They were ready to hold off any number of raider assaults at the very least. This open area gave us plenty of room to move and not accidentally hit another pony.

The training session was brutal. Nyota forced me up onto my hind legs and lean to balance in the way of a combat stance. He took the time to instruct and force me out of my physical comfort zone to start to master the brutal arithmetic of hoofticuffs. It felt awkward and I was certain I was getting every movement wrong or off. Mentally, I understood how to do it; physically, it was awkward. How zebras manage to rise up onto their hind hooves all the time was challenging to comprehend, even when I'm watching Nyota do it! How am I supposed to do it? Even after two hours of dancing on my hind hooves, bouncing and swinging with one hoof on the ground, and Nyota's relentless strikes, I only felt a little more confident in my ability to fight back.

“Come on, Nyota, I know this is my first lesson but can you not take it easy on me?” I teased with a grin only to get a roundhouse hoof to the chest that sent me flying. That was the first and last little quip I could afford to give him. From there I was always struggling to block, dodge, parry, or land a blow back. By the end of the lesson, I was breathing harder than I ever had before, and Quick Stitch used his horn to heal my bruises.

I'd landed one real blow on Nyota, and it had surprised him. The connecting strike to his cheek had not only managed to give me just enough space to breath, but left a very deep bruise under his eye patch. While Quick Stitch worked to heal my strained muscles and bruised flesh, Nyota played up the bruise as nothing. He tried to look tough and stern, refused the ice pack Quick Stitch offered, and didn’t rub it. I reached up and pressed a hoof against the bruise and it made Nyota neigh in pain. I giggled at him, “Don’t act so tough, I know it hurts. Just ask Corners.” Now he was blushing sheepishly and actively hiding the bruise under a hoof. Quick Stitch grumbled at me.

“Sunrise, stop trying to make me laugh or else I might pull a muscle for you.” The unicorn gritting his teeth and even biting his lip while I giggled.

What had strained me the most wasn’t the amount of exercise, it was moving and flexing in ways I had never done before. I found whole new regions of my limbs could ache; parts that were not even joints or high stress points normally now protesting against the heavy use they had just experienced. I was panting for at least half an hour afterward. In the time that had passed, Alguacil, Corners, and Chifundo had all arrived and were ready to go.

Corners approached the black striped zebra while Quick Stitch turned his efforts to repairing the bruise under his cheek.

From under the metal reinforced mini-bunker that Corners walked in, she produced the combat armor I had given her earlier. We must have been practicing for at least two hours, because the frontal chest plate was replaced with Stubbornite, and it had several new enhancements, including strap adjustments, sawing down the edges, re-angling of the plating, and a whole lot of minor snips here or adding ballistic fabric there.

Nyota looked at her, stunned, and then looked at me, and then back to Corners. Don't tell him it was your idea, no matter how much he suspects! I shrugged at him when Quick Stitch's horn stopped glowing, “Thank you, Corners. You did all this by yourself?”

“Nope! Cross Stitch did the fabric work, I just changed out the plates with what was left from the chair,” she explained with a giggle as Nyota took the armor into his hooves.

“How did you get my measurements?” Nyota asked questioningly, as he seemed to think back to the previous nights.

“I'm real good at guessing,” Corners flat-out lied to him as he started to put on the armor, wiggling into the barding.

Oh, please! Let us get away with this. She did do all the work—at my suggestion—but I really want to let her prove she wants to be better.

Nyota finished getting his new barding on, and even I could see it fit like a glove. Iguess S.A.T.S. measurements aren't half bad! He let out an excited whinny and then gave Corners a hug, his armored stubbornite breast plate against her metal armored box. Two smaller hooves came from under the box and hugged back at what they could grab. It made me grin and smirk a bit that Corners might be a good pony afterall.

The two separated, and I let out a sigh of relief. The rest of our party had finished gathering everything they needed and I went to get geared up, myself. Once I had my gear on and saddlebags in place it felt nicer after the modifications last night. The weight was lighter with the stubbornite and the cloak fitted to me properly lining the space between duster and armored Stable-Tec barding. At least I can say that I learned one thing from Buddy: be prepared.

We set out and began to follow the path we had been on before. Chifundo ate one of the blue potatoes about 30 minutes out and seemed to find the path we were looking for. an interesting question popped into my head under the dulled cloudy sky.

"Corners, where did you sleep last night?"

"Doc Hacksaw bedded me for the night. He was kind enough to do that, and I didn't want to bother the lot of you." Corners looked deeper into my eyes and smiled in her box. "So, you in heat yet? I can safety say that you are old enough."

Quick Stitch choked slightly at the comment from the box. "That's, ah, not really a polite question to ask, Corners..."

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around, somewhere between enraged and flustered, "Why is everyone's first concern always estrus with me? Also, he bedded you?" I turned and tilted my head, giving all my companions a curious look. I glanced at Quick Stitch, Nyota, and Chifundo for an explanation, wondering if they knew what was up.

"You know, the first ti—" Corners stopped herself from getting too far. "Never mind. You'll find out soon enough."

"Box, you do have a bad habit of bein' rude t' folks for no reason than t' be rude" Alguacil growled back at us.

Nyota shrugged slightly at the look I gave him, and he glanced at Corners, then snorted. "I'm not above a little ribbing at the personal lives of other ponies, like our Casanova over there," he nodded towards Chifundo, "but prying into things like that is a little rude, Corners. If Sunrise wants to talk about it, I'm sure she will. Otherwise, just let it drop."

The snort from inside box could only be described as indignant, "You calling me ‘box’ is a bit rude, and yes, I am being brash... but It is kind of dangerous..."

"Maybe when you've done somethin' decent t' th' people around you, without prompting or needin' t' get the shit kicked out of you first, I might start callin' ya somethin' else," Alguacil replied, gruffly brushing her off. His accentburned out of him with the emotion he had. The madder he got, the more he sounded like an uneducated country pony. "Yer still in the red in my books after that one incident," he tacked on with a scowl right at the box pone.

Corners gave a noticeable lift of the box around her. It kind of shifted back and forth before she spoke, "If it comes to it, I can always just put her in here until she calms down.” There was genuine hurt in her voice now as she continued, “Alguacil, I'm trying to do better, but I’m a bit rough around the edges."

"...Was that a pun?" Alguacil inquired.

"What do you mean?" Corners replied, but even I could see the toothy grin inside the box.

Alguacil facetaloned hard and shook his head, without any further to do about it.

"Break it up you two, it’s a fair question, just more blunt than is polite,” I spoke up as we kept walking and I tried to regain my composure. “And yes, it was. I agree calling her ‘box’ is as rude as calling Nyota, ‘demon’, calling you ‘Lawbird’, or calling me ‘Sunny’. It just grinds on the nerves." I hoped this was enough to get them off each others backs and turned back to Corners "So, what do you wanna us to call you, and what was the original question post derailment?"

"Are you in estrus yet?” Corners replied.

I shook my head and resumed our pace once more, "I suppose the answer to that is no, because I would notice, wouldn't I?" I pulled out a wrapped piece of foil with a big E and a heart, "Picline gave me these to suppress it for 12 hours at a time if needed."

"Yanno...on that topic line...I kinda feel bad for Chifundo. No offense to you, but it must really suck if you go through both estrus and rut at the same time" Alguacil said, flatly pushing that odd thought into our brains. "That aside, why are we even discussing this stuff?"

Quick Stitch shook his head and mutters just above his breath, "Because Corners has no mental filter on her mouth is my guess..."

"Lovely. Can I ask one more 'rude' question to Quick Stitches?" Corners piped up with an enthusiastic giggle.

Quick Stitch paused, sighed, shrugged, and nodded. "Why not? As long as we're on a roll, it seems."

"What did ever happen to your ear? Was it a bad boxing match?" Corners replied.

Quick Stitch stopped and turned to Corners, and he looked angry enough to headbutt stab a pony. His ears flattened behind his eye, eyes narrowed, and his voice turned into a guttural growl. "Why is this so important to you? I don't hear any questions about why Alguacil is missing an eye?" He gestured to the surrounding area. "It's the wasteland. Not all of us were lucky enough to have a vault or a box to grow up in." He paused when his eyes went wide in horror and he bit his own lip. Slowly he turned to me and looked like he expected me to become the boogiepony. "Sorry Sunrise, I didn't mean it."

Alguacil spoke up before I could respond. "I told you why when we all first met,. If'n you wanna know, my dad carved it out with a kitchen knife when he was in a drunken rage one day, ‘cause he found out I'd managed to scrounge caps and had bought a gun and some ammo with it."

"I don't trust new ponies. Especially with scars like that. Last time I met someone like that I... don't remember," Corners words were easy to see though, she was lying, and didn't want to talk about it.

I trotted over to Corners and raised a hoof, only to bring it down in a patting motion on the top of the box. Then I looked over to Quick Stitch and said, "If you don't want to talk about it, answer it with that, don't lash out at the rest of us, okay? And you wouldn't want to be in Stable 43. None of you would, with the memories I keep reliving.”

Quick Stitch facehooved and shook his head, having clearly missed my explanation completely. "Fine, since it's sharing time," he said, and took a calming breath to try to center himself. "Look, it's a sensitive topic, and in all honesty, probably the worst in a long line of bad memories. On my 10th birthday—" He was shaking and had stopped walking while he was talking.

He started to continue, but I moved quickly to cover Quick Stitch's mouth before he could continue much more. "Share it when you are ready, not right now."

Corners approached us and smiled behind the box, "That's all I needed." It took a second, but she finally came out of the box to hug Quick Stitch. Her battle saddle tangled us both into a group hug, whether we wanted to or not.

Quick Stitch went completely stiff for a moment, but grudgingly accepted the hug and shared it. "Sorry, Corners. Didn't mean to snap at anyone," he mumbled in the white mare's ear.

Alguacil approached us and patted Quick Stitch on the head. "I can… relate to that. If you want dibs on your parents should we run into them, just say so." he said simply before shrugging off the hug and moving away.

I swear, I did not sign up to be this group's therapy councilor! Wait, did we even get a chance to sign up, or were we just thrown together? These are questions I want answers to, later.

"That said, I think we all have scars from our past, be they seen," The griffin pointed out and then darted a talon to his missing eye before motioning to Quick Stitch's missing ear, "or unseen from the things one's gone through," he added on, quickly pointing at Sunrise and Corners. "Not sure about the other two, but yeah, the wasteland's badge of participation is the scars that're carried forward."

Quick Stitch nodded in respect towards the griffin. "I appreciate it, Alguacil, but I don't need to call 'dibs' on anything." The olive colored stallion gave his head a scratch and looked noticeably uncomfortable. "To be honest, my mother still terrifies me, even more than ten years later. I'm no pony to advocate killing another pony, but..." he shook his head. "She's one that could only make Equestria better with a bullet in her head and a nap in the dirt."

Alguacil gave us a both a nod, "That's th' case with all real raiders, and not everyone can handle doin' that deed" he says with a shrug "Plus, with healers ya don't gotta worry about shootin' ya in th' back or tryin' to steal yer kidney's. It’s always a good thing"

Corners stopped the hug and broke away from us. "You were a raider?" Her hair covered her face as she fought the anger within her. "I... hate... raiders..."

I gave all of them a glare. I had more sympathy for Corners in this case, but Quick Stitch and Alguacil I outright stared down. "I expected a follower of Fluttershy to be better than that." I felt that same rage I had felt when I wanted to hurt Corners boiling up in me. I pushed it down so I could talk this out rather than actually come to blows. I held one forehoof to the other and, slowly deliberating, lowered my head to her. My eyes and face just glared at Corners while my shoulders stayed slumped deliberately to avoid appearing as a threat. "I understand that some ponies have done awful, terrible things, but let me ask this. Alguacil, you talk about lives like they are expendable." I stomped my hoof onto the pavement to make sure I had his attention, "What if I had a bounty on my head?"

"It depends on who put the bounty out. Among raiders, us regulators have bounties on our heads,” his words were nonchalant and without any care or concern in them. "And he's not a raider any more than I am. Raiders aren't healers, they’re drug-addled, murder-fueled rape machines"

"They killed my parents... my last memories between the darkness was their deaths. I felt safe in their arms as the bullets rained down on us. The moment I looked up... there were the raiders." Corners slumped down and became unresponsive. The confidence in her eyes and actions was depleted.

Quick Stitch looked at me, hurt and clearly feeling guilty because of what I had said. "Sunrise, I AM better than that! I want to make an Equestria where ponies don't have to hurt each other just to survive!" He hung his head and looked away, unable to look at me any longer. "But Scorch Mark..." He stole a glance out of the corner of his eye and saw that I was not backing down or even giving him an inch. "My mother spent a decade abusing me and trying to teach me how to do the same to other ponies. More than that, she's done the same and worse to countless ponies in her lifetime. That's one pony that I can never justify giving a second chance. I'm sorry Sunrise."

"The one who gave me the box told about what they did to me, but I never remembered any of that. He said it was for the good of my mind. Sunrise... those ponies are too far gone." Corners appealed to me.

"Hell, Sunrise,” Alguacil started and took a stern stance towards me. “Look at that bastard that sold out Hot Cross Buns, he was a true 'ex-raider', cared only about himself and what he could get from a situation t' the point of sellin' people into slavery or such. When given a final chance, instead he squandered it, sayin' that the next time he'd charge 700 caps instead of 300.” Alguacil's voice had risen from a growl to a angry squawk, and now he was full-on shouting at me.

"That's what a raider is at it's core, they ain't people any more when they embrace that lifestyle, they’re monsters at that point."

Corners crawled back to her box, refusing to say anything else, instead closing herself off from the world. I looked at all of them and realized I was standing on my own now. "I can't live and believe life works that way. There has to be something we can do. I'm sorry, Alguacil, but even if it gets me hurt, I'd rather not believe a pony can be so far gone or they can't be saved." I looked at Corners and patted the box a few more times, "If that were the case, I wouldn't let Corners stay. But I see, little by little, she improves."

“Sunrise....you've never been in a raider den, have ya?” Alguacil prodded and crawled towards me. “I mean a clear as day 'this is raider turf' style raider den. Yanno how they decorate? By nailin' live folks to their walls and then cutting them open or disembowelin' them, then spreadin' that stuff to 'paint' an entire room before nailin' parts of other folks up in other places. That's what a raider is."

Corners let out a sigh and clicked her hooves before rubbing my leg from under the box. I turned my attention directly to her, "Sunrise... Sunrise. Do you know what rape is?"

Nyota put a hoof up towards Alguacil and shook his head. "That's enough, from everyone. Sunrise doesn't need to know all of that."

"It's better she knows before she becomes a decoration,” the law keeper fired back at our zebra friend.

Oh thank the Goddesses! Please, Nyota, step in and help me out, here.

There was an audible tinge in the air. The box seemed a bit more hollow and empty inside. It almost felt like she was suffocating in it. I looked at Nyota and nodded to him before turning back to Corners, "Yes, I know what that is, and no, Alguacil, you know full well where I've been since I've left the Stable."

"I wasn't sure how long you'd been topside,” Alguacil replied and then tipped his sombrero to me.

"So, yes, I know from looking at all of you that you have endured some pain that should have never come to pass. I know from the look in all your eyes, there is some hurt that you don't want to voice, but you must feel." I took in a deep breath and then looked up to meet everypony’s stare, "That doesn't give you the excuse to start thinking that getting revenge is the way to do it. If Quick Stitch wants to end his parents lives, I hope he does it in a way that speaks of forgiveness and love, not anger and hatred." My gaze ended on Quick Stitch and stayed there with him. He looked down and anyway, unable to return my gaze or even look at me after I looked away.

I turned to Alguacil, now, and stared into that one eyed law maker hard enough that I swore I could see his soul. "I really hope I haven't been traveling with a griffin who would shoot me and take my ear without hearing my side of things, or at least only open fire if he was given no other choice. Even then, I'd expect him to stop short of a death blow if he could."

“This, my friends, is getting a little too heated, let us calm down before understanding is defeated,” Chifundo told us as he turned around from his scout duties.

"I'd say that's a right good idea, Chifundo,” Nyota nodded to us.

"If it was a decoration... hopefully you'll be dead first." Corners declared and disappeared deeper into the box.

When I looked back to him, Quick Stitch turned completely away with his back to me. I could sense the guilt pouring off the Fluttershy Disciple, as well as his sense of failure permeating the group, "Look, Sunrise, I'll try. One more time, but... I can't promise anything but to try to be a better pony.”

I trotted around to in front of him and put a hoof onto Quick Stitch's chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes. I wasn't angry or glaring anymore, simply showing sympathy. "If you believe one day you can promise that, then I can believe that one day I'll see Rainbowrise and Shadow Window again."

I could see the weight being lifted off his shoulders and the weight being added back to it as he bit down on his lip, "Okay, Sunrise..."

I smirked at him and then turned the chin lift into a hug. I just held him there, not speaking for a while, stroking his mane and letting the silence work to fix whatever damage it could.

After a few more moments of silence, Cornsers recited a speech, and I assumed it had some significance to her Box God," 'For the horrendous conditions you faced in the wastes, I shall grant you salvation only once. Not many are worthy to receive the gift of a fresh start, nor the youth too, but I believe you can and that's all that matters. This comes at the price of complete loyalty to my cause and your identity before this shall be ceased.' "

"I have to believe...” Corners finished and trailed off.

What a weird God you have there. I must admit, interesting oaths as well. Maybe one day I will let you tell me of this Box God and all the oaths it made you take and why.

Nyota finally spoke up to turn our attention back to the road, "Chifundo, are we still on the correct path?"

“The way I am sure, the Blue haze I endure,” the pink striped zebra replied over his shoulder.

I got back down to all fours and shuddered, "I can't suspect those blue potatoes are good for you, or what they do to your insides." I looked at Nyota and bumped his flank, walking past him. I made sure to drag the bump out and rub our flanks together for a bit. Nyota jumped back and looked at me like I was a stinging scorpion then lowered his head to conceal a blush and a smile. It was so faint that unless you looked directly at him, you wouldn’t have noticed. The rest of our group didn’t as he got near Chifundo and blended against his stripes.

Hey, at least he is fun to tease, and thankfully he just saved me from this conversation to keep us moving forward instead of wallowing in our pain.

"But we should continue on and talk while we walk, if I understand Nyota."

Nyota glanced to the pink zebra as we got to walking along again. "For now, at least, I agree on keeping moving. There's no telling if we'll have enough potatoes to make it to our destination." He then smiled at me; he even took the time to make sure my violet eyes met his green one to a few moments to gaze at each other. "And if our resident shaman starts to have any problems, I'll make sure to keep him patched up."

Nyota then turned away from us. "It would be prudent. Stopping and making a lot of noise generally attracts aggressive attention," he said easily being the only one to have avoided the exposition bug that was floating around.

Chifundo nodded, waiting for everyone to be ready walking again, and started following the trail only he could see right now. At least I didn't have to have all this heart-to-heart with having to see the spirit world Chifundo is lost in right now. I'm so glad it only comes and goes.

“Oh Sunrise! One day you will get it and be able to step in and out of that sight whenever you like.”

I prodded Nyota with a hoof, bringing his attention away from looking over the ruins and horizons for potential threats. " I know why you've been quiet, but you aren't off the hook till I give you an answer."

"I know, Sunrise," he says softly and ruffled my mane again. He felt so nice now getting used to letting him do that. "And I'm trying." He patted his eye patch after a few steps, "It's still comforting to not see that even if you think my eye isn't ugly."

I came up to Chifundo and stole a wink at Nyota then put my attention back to the Pink Striped Shaman, "So question, does the potato taste blue now? Do you get to taste the rainbow? Is that a thing? Do colors have flavors?"

"Wasn't that the slogan for some prewar candy 'Taste the Rainbow' or somethin'?" Alguacil replied with a soft laugh.

"I don't know how you might feel about it, but according to my mentor, there might be a way for you to have two eyes again someday... in theory of course." Quick Stitch mused to all of us thoughtfully.

Nyota smiled a bit at that, as he walked closer to the medical stallion, "Cybernetics, I'm aware, Quick Stitch, but... there's something about replacing parts of me with machines that feels like I'm giving up something important." He looked over at him, "And, honestly, there are other reasons I would prefer to stay completely equine."

Quick Stitch blinked for a moment, before quickly shaking his head. "Oh, no, no I meant your eye. Glue, the unicorn who taught me medicine, said that his teacher could use healing magic to regrow body parts that had been..." he drifted off awkwardly before clearing his throat. "lost."

“The potatoes taste of the earth filled with its worth. They smell of the life around, texture of the souls that surround,” Chifundo replied to my questions which wasn't an answer so much as making my head hurt.

Alguacil actually cracked a grin at that name, "Now that bit of irony with th' name, that's somethin' I can appreciate some."
Nyota chuckled and lifted his eye patch for all of us to see his left eye. It was still present but clouded with milky white that left his eye looking like an orb of pale jade, though there were some disconcerting flickers of starlight on the surface despite the dull light of the day.

"I haven't lost it, it just doesn't see the world you do."

Even after a second time, that eye is still a wonder to me. An alien beauty that is something I wish he would let out into the world, and they would understand it just as much as I see it.

Quick Stitch cracked a smile and grinned at the griffin. "He used to say 'Well, how else are you gonna stick a pony back together?'" He turned back to the zebra. "It's just hearsay as far as things go right now, but it's a spell I've been chasing after for years now, without success."

“The spirits offer many ways to heal; the ways of pony magic is my zeal. Perhaps one day we might discuss, how to repair Nyota’s eye without too much fuss?” Chifundo fired back at us over his shoulder.

Nyota sighed "It doesn't need fixing, it just sees something other than the real world," he said as he looked at the others and put the patch back over his eye, "Besides, I'm used to it. If you're looking for ways to help people regain things they've lost? I wouldn't mind helping."

The gryphon simply nodded at Quick Stitch before that slight grin disappeared. I, however, was not about to have any of this talk of replacing Nyota's eye, "Nyota's eye is actually one of the more beautiful things I've seen in this wasteland." I looked at him then to Chifundo. "I mean, it has the colors of the stars and I find it a marvel to even be allowed to look at." I blushed at the comment, realizing just how much bigger the world seemed learning about his eye last night.

The rest of our group all shot me odd looks that inquired if I had some hidden meaning. I felt my burning cheeks get brighter and looked away. I needed a different subject. “I umm… did Chifundo just say that colors have a taste?”

“Perhaps, if we find the need, we can find a way to help, indeed. Life is a riot of sensation, these potatoes are but a small representation,” Chifundo shot at my words.

Nyota shrugged at me, "Dunno, never figured out the whole rhyming thing." However the conversation had brought a smile to his face.

“But for those unprepared a nightmare in store for those who dared,” Chifundo's wisdom at this point was giving me quite the headache to intake.

I swear I will never think in rhymes! I will never think in rhymes!

My jaw fell completely slack and I stared at the two zebras, stunned. "You mean to tell me, that this whole time, those silent looks you give him isn't some secret language that zebras share!?”

Chifundo smiled at me with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Corners pulled out a caravan shotgun and rolled it in her hooves outside the box, taking a look at it in the light.

"Well, we can both see the same thing, so I understand a bit better than most, but most of the time I'm just as lost as everyone else." Nyota replied while I looked at the shotgun Corners was examining as we walked.

"Something off, Corners?” I prodded, noticing the grenade tube on the bottom of the shotgun and felt it was something familiar.

"It’s nothing... just thinking,” Corners replied and was halfway out of her box.

"There are different sighs, and they all mean different things," Nyota explained then turned his attention to Corners,

"We've got nothing but time, might as well talk about it." Quick Stitch turned around as he spoke in a matter of fact tone.

Corners hesitantly offers up the shotgun hesitantly, "Its Buddy's shotgun..."

"Ain't that the one that....Brain Soup used?" Alguacil asked looking at the shotgun quickly before looking toward Nyota and myself to confirm it.

Quick Stitch saw the gun and curiosity was plastered across his face, but he kept his muzzle shut. Clearly it bothered him the way we all reacted to that weapon. I even started to back away from it. Alguacil raised a talon like it might bite him, Chifundo’s concentration and overly happy expression faded and died. Corners held it like some sort of prized artifact or trophy.

Nyota raised an eyebrow at Alguacil and took a look at his gun. I noticed now that it had a certain glow or sparkle to it that wasn't there before. Nyota then turned his gaze to Corners, "Oh. I think it's better in our hooves than anyone else's. Use it to keep the people you care about safe."

I felt the rage building inside, the need to release it, and how they all talked so casually about such a weapon. "You kept that! That thing? Why? Why would you keep the weapon that took him?" I moved to put Nyota between myself and the weapon, not wanting a repeat of Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Nyota paused his walking and put a hoof on mine, gently pressing down to hold any anger from me. "Easy there,

"Sunrise, would you rather have it out there with someone that could use it to do the same to someone else's friends and family?" he said softly, "Sure, it has terrible memories for us, but we can make it a weapon for good."

I might have a place for letting ponies try again, but a weapon like that, with Buddy's name carved into it like some sort of trophy or kill mark! No, that isn't worthy of being in our ranks! Corners why would you—

"I kept it so I don't forget. I knew that you'd be mad if I kept it so I hid it. If it comes down to it , this weapon is going to be for me." Sugarcube withdrew the weapon from sight and holstered it in her leg pouch.

“Corners..." I couldn't finish the thought or words. I felt rage and anger building up, I couldn't stand the idea of my friend doing that. It wasn’t the rage of being bullied, no it was the rage of betrayal. Corners just turned to keep walking. Her head was hung to the ground and she grew silent.

"I think she means for her to use,” Quick Stitch deflected to try to ease the tension.

"You know that's not the case." Nyota shot at him. Corners distanced herself from the pack by a few feet and even shied away from me. The words hit home, the rage died down. I suddenly didn’t know how to show I cared or how deeply such a suggestion cut into me.

"And how would Buddy feel if you committed suicide?" Nyota shot to Corners, "Wasting the life that he paid the ultimate price to protect?"

Even Chifundo stopped at that, sensing the growing discord in the group, and looked at Nyota, “Now, Nyota, sharp words can cut deep when the soul does weep.”

"Yes, Chifundo, the truth hurts, but if she's just going to waste the life Buddy gave his to protect? She might as well go back and piss on his grave!" Nyota was shouting now.

At this rate, if there anything out there that wants to hurt us, it has heard us.

I stopped and turned around to look at Corners, fighting back tears. "I didn't kick your ass and earn your respect just to have you waste it." I looked at Nyota and walked past him. I trotted right up to Corners and extended my hoof, "If it comes to the need to end your life for any reason, I'll do it. Give me that gun." The weight of the words alone felt like an anvil had just crashed into my mind. I wanted to drop then and there but something drove me to keep trying to reach out to Corners. I wanted her to walk without that box around her one day.

“Wounds of Blood and Bone heal fast, but a wounded soul will out last. Take care that words of good intention do not become death's invention.” The pink zebra said as he walked up to the growing crowd of our group around myself and Corners.

"I was wondering when you would ask that." Sugarcube morbidly smiled underneath the box. "Here. I would have it no other way than you, Sunrise."

No other way? Oh I'm gonna show you another way you little minded mare! I'm gonna show you what you should have done with this thing, and how you should treat yourself right now!

"And it was such a good morning too..." Quick Stitch started to groan till I took the shotgun and started taking it apart right then and there. I completely disassembled the weapon down to nothing but springs, a pipe, and stock. I just started throwing the pieces in random directions. There wasn’t any care to it; I wanted this weapon to never be useful ever again.

Finally, I came down to the pipe and passed it to my tail, which tucked it into my backpack. "If it comes to anything close to that, I'll save you before I even considering killing you."

Alguacil opened his beak to protest the casual discarding of a working weapon and components, but it only took a glare from me to shut him up instantly.

Corners nudged into my flank in a playful manner. "We’ll make a wastelander of you yet," she joked.

I started to walk away from her and got beside Nyota before I was confident enough to speak without my inner rage coming out. "No, Corners, we'll make a pony out of you again." My words were cold, so icy that the shower this morning was practically boiling in comparison, and I saw every stallion around me shudder at how deep those words had cut, much less the pony they were directed at.

“The filly in the box still had expected the opposite, but that’s you, Sunrise. I never know what exactly to expect, which is why I'm so glad I got put with you!” Pink replied and rolled around in excitement.

Shut up, Pink. I watched her mane deflate and her face turned to one about to cry. You can be happy later. Nyota perkeds his ears up and flushed with anger, gritting his teeth at Corners' words, before stamping a hoof and moving on.

“Nyota, your anger is plain to see, Words and actions you do not agree. a pony of sugared box so soft, a wounded soul kept aloft. A pony of sunrise with much to learn, but knowledge they will earn. If time they have, time will tell. You may want to yell, but anger will drive us apart before they have a chance to start.” Chifundo explained to all of us and made us all quiet down.

Nyota put a hoof over my back and pulled me tight to him. I could feel his anger pulsing, but slowly dying off. "I'm still trying to be better, but it's hard to be kind to someone that uses the threat of suicide as a test of friendship." His pointed right at Corners like a sniper's scope as he kept me tight to him protectively.

“Know that I judge you not, For your temper runs very hot. I know it comes from a right place, but our pasts must we all embrace,” Chifundo mused at no one in particular.

I swear, if I ever understand how he does this, I'm not going to truly understand.

"You're right, but something about that stupid white mare is worth saving." I said loud enough for everyone to hear, and I pulled away from Nyota a bit, not wanting to be coddled. "I'll have your answer for you soon.”

I'm reasonably sure what the answer already is but not yet. I have to be sure in this horrific wasteland.

Alguacil pinched his beak some. "Look, kid in the box, being a 'wastelander', as you put it, isn't the same as askin' others to kill you. It's about bein' strong enough to weather all the waste has to throw at you and spitting in its face"

Nyota looked at me and waited to catch my eye before nodding and saying. "Alright." He smiled and continued to look for the next set of tracks, following the path that only Chifundo could see clearly, but that he was clearly able to see parts of as he walked nearly right on top of Chifundo.

Sugarcube had plenty to say but none of the words grasped her tongue. Conversations like these only went south the farther along she spoke. The mare in the box moved on and switched her tone in an instant. "So... how was Chifundo's date?"

Quick Stitch almost tripped a little at the sudden change in topic, but at the same time, it was an improvement over anything else. "Corners, remember what I said about prying into other ponies' personal lives…?" He started, but a grin quirked at the side of his face. "That said," the unicorn glanced towards the pink zebra.

Chifundo just gave us all a sheepish smile as he trotted along. "I'd say that things ended well indeed since he didn't come back to the rooms last night," Quick Stitch ribbed at him with a giggle, and then his tone did a 180 and he frowned. "The duck was a little weird, but I'm not one to kink shame."

“When in the wastes, care is due, so dinner does not eat you,” the pink stallion shot back.

Nyota chuckled and trotted on. "Fair enough, Chifundo. Fair enough. And there is truth in that," Nyota looked at the rest of us with a smile finally reaching his lips. Not a subtle one, but a big one. "I think I can make some scorpion cakes if we have any of the meat left when we break to make camp for the night."

"Sadly, I don't. The big rad scorpion claws I had were....used....to hold off that monster of a gecko,” the griffin explained with a lick of his beak.

"And the others were too small or damaged to get anything useful out of," Nyota sighed out and shrugged, "Oh well, it was a good thought."

"If you are open to more gamey meat, I got some iguanas that've had a kebab run through 'em. Tail and all, even still got the bones fer calcium,” the griffin detailed out all of the pieces of the meat he had tucked away in his pack.

I shuddered head to toe. "Can we please keep to the veggie stews? I don't care if they are canned, but anything other than gamey," I stuck my tongue out at them and made the most convincing ‘blagh’ face I could.

Quick Stitch let out a laugh and shook his head. "It's really not so bad, but I'm not going to force you to eat it. I do worry that you're lacking proper nutrition given that you're not consuming protein." He hummed a bit before looking at me,

"Maybe eggs are more your preference?"

All I could do now was grumble and then I looked around at the group and mumbled under my breath, "What I wouldn't give for a daffodil sandwich with a slice of cheddar."

"Cheese did survive the end of the world." Corners piped up with a giggle from behind us.

I perked right up and smiled broadly, "And bread? And Daffodils?"

"Bread is something I can make if I have the ingredients and time, but daffodils... I don't think they survived." Nyota explained with a pleasant humor to his voice like there was a hidden joke there I should know.

"Bread needs milk, and the only cattle now have two heads, and uh....your guess is good as mine on daffodils. Never really cared much for flowers, don't like the thought of eatin' a plants junk,” Alguacil copied my ‘blagh’ face and shot it right back at me.

"Actually, milk isn't necessary. With the appropriate oil, acid, eggs, and salt, bread is pretty easy." Nyota explained to all of us in a matter-o-fact sort of way. It made us all feel better he was opening up more and being less serious all the time.

Oh, thank you so much! Thank you, Nyota, for giving me some hope of getting a sandwich again one day. I'm also glad to know that anything editable you apparently can make even better. My tail pulled up and handed me one of the snacks from the Hearts Warming Package. I checked it and found no rads from my PipBuck. Inside the package was a gingerbread pony which I gobbled down to keep the hunger away. It was the best tasting thing I'd eaten in days.

"Huh....well that's good t' know. Didn't get my claws on many cook books growing up, and had no real interest in trying to find any after I started on my path,” Alguacil said as he sharpened one of his talons against his beak.

I looked from Nyota to Alguacil and Quick Stitch with pleading eyes; for one of them to save me. "Please don't tell me I should eat meat, for any reason. An egg, maybe, but nothing that was actually alive."

"My parents taught me to cook." Nyota looked at me, "I won't make you eat meat, but don't hold it against me if I do. There are some things that you get used to when there's nothing else."

"And there's a lot more energy per pound in meat than in plants." Alguacil replied with a shrug, thinking for a moment. "I can't say any reason. Ponies at least should still stick with plants for the most part." Pausing, he winced and gave me a knowing look, like I wouldn't like what he was going to say. "But if you're starving, Sunrise, a tiny bit might save your life..."

I glared at him, "I will personally make sure we have more food than we ever need, just to make sure that never happens." Then I turned my attention to Nyota and smirked, "You can eat it all you want, just don't expect me to touch the stuff if it can helped."

"Well, I have over twenty cans of fruit and veg, so it's unlikely we'll run out any time soon," Nyota said with a smile and a nod. "I'll admit to eating meat in the past. It's not something I prefer, but just remember that it can save your life, Sunrise. that’s all I ask."

I grumbled and bemoaned my fate, like a filly being told to eat her brussel sprouts, "Fine, if it comes down to it, I'll do it. But don't expect it to be a regular thing!"

"With luck, it's never going to come to that," Nyota replied.

"Why does this suddenly feel like we should burst into song and dance right now? Or is that just my old world blues hitting?" I shot at the rest of the group with a cocksure grin.

"That seems kinda dangerous. There's plenty of beasts around that might hear that," Alguacil suggested to get us to tone it down.

If they haven't heard us at this point and aren't running to us, then they aren't coming!

"I'd say we wait until we get to the next inn, and then we can make the locals uncomfortable," Nyota suggested to us, still laughing. "A good song lightens everyone's spirits."

And just like that we go from talking about something dire and deep between all of us, to something trivial and probably pointless.

I brushed my flank up against Nyota with a giggle, "You did a fine job with Huey, Duey, and Lewy; almost like you could harmonize with anyone. I wonder if Corners, Chifundo, your voice and mine would sink up."

"Heh... yeah, song was always something you could count on at home." Nyota said as he carefully bumped me back, despite his size he was restrained and surprisingly graceful.
Quick Stitch sighed with a smile, looking at me. "You know, I've never really done much singing, but I suppose I could learn."

I looked at him and let out a filly giggle. "You'd like it, it is something that is one of the most beautiful pieces of Equestria I have ever experienced. Just being with your friends and playing an instrument while others start singing. It feels so wonderful to just letting what you feel right at the moment out for everypony else to enjoy." The reminiscing helped me forget about all the issues we'd just dealt with and the group was walking close together once again.

"I know how to play an instrument!" Inside the box there a few clangs and other various sounds before she stops. "My ears are ringing... nevermind.”

We all laughed and continued onward, not knowing the grave events at the end of this trail.

Fan Art By: Dreyzilla

Level Progress: 47% to Level 6

Author's Notes:

First of all I'd like to thank Kkat for creating Fallout Equestria.
Second, thanks to Project Dead Tree for making the game we are playing that is resulting in this story, you can check it out here: http://projectdeadtree.com/site/

Third, welcome to our new Editor and his first true contribution: PropMaster

Lastly, this chapter has some reveals and hints at things that will all be revealed later in Chapters 19-21. (Yes I am that far ahead of the editor!) Trust me when I say, you won't believe where this is going or where it will end up. I want to assure everyone, there is something more here than meets the eye.
Also this is the longest Chapter to Date and the Longest For a Good Long While.