Dear Diary,

Well, I've been doing I did some thinking last night about what I wanted to write about next, exactly, and I decided that I don't really have any big Rainbow Dash stories from the early days like I do with the others. (Except Fluttershy) I guess that's just how she is. She really only has two speeds that I've noticed: constant motion, and asleep. Fortunately I haven't had many reasons to need her to stay in one place for an extended period of time.

But anyway, regardless of my lack of big stories with her I do still feel the need to talk about her before I talk about Pinkie Pie. So, after racking my brain a bit and gathering some information about details I may have missed from the ponies involved (without letting them know what it was for, obviously) I came up with a few short tales about Rainbow Dash to share.

So, let's see, where to begin...

It was a hot and humid morning not too long after Sunset's initial tour of Ponyville. Nopony was happy about it, but the word from the weather team was that a big storm was being planned for the area and they needed to gather all the moisture they could get. And once the storm was over, they said, the weather would return to being warm and sunny like any good summer should be.

And so it was that Sunset Shimmer, barely into her morning coffee, staggered blearily out of the Golden Oaks in search of her morning paper. It was like walking into an unwashed armpit; even the cicadas that had taken a liking to the Oak's upper reaches seemed reluctant and miserable in their calling.

Sunset let out a long, put-upon groan, resolving then and there to spend the entire day in the relative coolness of her basement lab. Which, she reflected as she scanned the ground for the elusive Ponyville Express, she had already planned on doing anyway. Though perhaps she could convince Twilight to spend the day down there with her...

But first, she needed her paper. The six-page morning allotment of reports, notices, requests, and so-called 'pony interest pieces' weren't going to read themselves, after all.

“Where is that stupid thing?” she muttered to herself, taking a sip of coffee to steady her irritated nerves as she failed to spot the paper in the logical places it could have landed in – the front step, the flowers that flanked the front step, and under the sign. “Please tell me it came,” she added, whirling around to double-check where she'd already looked. “The last thing I need is to have to wait for the stupid thing on a morning like this.”

After failing to find it again, Sunset sighed and turned to the more troublesome places it could have been carelessly tossed.

She didn't have to search long.

“Great,” she said, neck craning up to see the newspaper sticking out of the hedge growing over the doorway. With a tired huff she took one last sip of coffee, before setting it down on the step and turning her magical attention to the elusive periodical. Her cyan aura quickly enveloped it and pulled, but to her continued irritation it didn't budge.

Pursing her lips and throwing away any concern she had for the hedge's integrity, she put more of her magic into the spell and gave the newspaper a good yank.

It came out not with the rip like she had expected, but the pop of a cork. “What the...?” she murmured, letting the paper fall to the ground so she could use her magic to hold the foliage open. Her prying squint was promptly rewarded with a steady flow of an oddly thin brown liquid, which doused her, her coffee, the paper, and the entire step.

Familiar, raucous laughter immediately rose up from somewhere above her, but in her new-found anger Sunset made her first priority discovering the source of the liquid. That was quickly determined to be a large brown glass jug that had been wedged into the hedge, large enough that the paper could be stuck into its mouth but small enough to remain hidden. The jug was unlabeled and the liquid was odorless, causing a good part of her pessimistic brain to run wild with all the things it could possibly be.

Her mouth, meanwhile, just patched in a direct line to her anger. “RAINBOW DASH!” she yelled upwards at the laughter, and sure enough the colorful pegasus showed herself from within the thicker leaves of the Golden Oak's crown.

“Hah! You shoulda seen the look on your face,” she said, flying down to hover over the dripping unicorn. “I got you good, Shimmer.”

“Don't you have better things to do in the morning than pull pranks?” Sunset spat. “I thought you liked to sleep in.”

“Normally, yeah, but what can I say?” She shrugged. “You're, like, always cooped up in that egghead 'lab' of yours. There's no other time I can really get you except when you get the paper!”

Sunset moved a lock of mane out of her eyes so she could glare better. “So let me get this straight. You woke up early, flew over here in the brief period of time between the paper arriving and me getting it, and set up your little 'prank'? All for what, drenching me with...” she shook a forehoof in a futile attempt to dry it, flinging drops of brown liquid everywhere. “Whatever this is?”

“Re-lax, Sunset!” Rainbow Dash said, waving a hoof. “It's just water.”

“Then why is it brown?”

She shrugged again. “I wanted to make it rainbow-colored cause, duh, I'm Rainbow Dash, but it turns out food coloring doesn't work that way. Who knew?”

Most ponies, thought Sunset. Most ponies with sense, anyway. And she was about to say as much to Rainbow Dash when the pegasus interrupted, no doubt due to one of typical whims. “Aaaaanyway,” she said, rolling her eyes and head in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion, “I've had my fun. See ya around, Sunset Shimmer!”

And then she flew off, leaving Sunset to stew in her anger and unwanted broth.

A quick glance told her that her paper and coffee were ruined, making an already crummy morning worse. And in that moment, deprived of caffeine and a ridiculously simple crossword puzzle, she vowed her revenge.

Lifting the mug, the paper, and – after a moment's thought – the empty water jug with her magic, she headed back inside and closed the door behind her.

Halfway across the main floor of the library she was spotted by Spike, who was coming out of the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks the moment he saw her. “Whoa, what happened to you? I thought it wasn't supposed to rain until tomorrow.”

“It wasn't,” Sunset said with a bitter smile. “Rainbow Dash just decided to have a little fun with me this morning.”

“Oh,” Spike said, his gaze turning blank. He leaned a little to the side to look around her and noticed the small drops of brownish water she'd dripped in, and screwed his face up in displeasure. “Am I gonna have to clean that up?”

“You can if you want,” Sunset said, having neither the energy nor the will to be reassuring. “But it's just water, so I wouldn't bother.”

She continued on into the kitchen, tossing the soggy paper in the trash. The thud it made when it hit the bottom was enough to get Twilight to glance up from her morning reading.

“What happened to you?” she asked. “I thought-”

“Rainbow Dash,” Sunset said as she set the empty jug down on the table, her words echoed by Spike as he entered behind her.

“Ah,” was all Twilight said, returning to her book.

Sunset put her coffee mug in the sink, then cast a simple self-drying spell that wasn't nearly as effective as she would have liked. Particularly because it garnered a snicker from Spike when her mane became all frizzy, though he covered it with his claws when Sunset turned a glare on him.

“Try not to take it personally, I don't think she means anything by it,” Twilight said, eyes still focused on her book. A quick glance at the title – 'Fun with Fractions' – told Sunset everything she needed to know; her friend was brushing up on the application of fractions to magic in preparation for a deeper study of thaumaturgic quanta. Which meant that, for once, she could actually talk and read at the same time.

“If anything, she does this to everypony she knows. It's just a sign that you're getting closer.”

“Great,” Sunset said, hiding her lack of smile by looking for another mug in their cupboards. And despite Twilight's words, Sunset's thirst for revenge wasn't quenched.

She had never been one to let an intentionally spoiled moment go unrepaid. Sure, she wasn't the type to ruin someone for a slight like she had been in her youth, but that hardly made her a pushover either.

Once she'd gotten a replacement cup of coffee and finished her breakfast, Sunset headed down to her lab for some private planning. She had a veritable arsenal of potential pranking supplies among her artifacts, and while it was technically irresponsible to use such valuable items in such a way Sunset wasn't in the mood to care.

Plus, she was confident that with a little bit of effort she could pass whatever she did off as an experiment. That way, no authority could justifiably penalize her for it. It was, in her mind at that time, the recipe for the perfect crime.

The question was, which artifact did she want to use? Walking through her lab examining the contents of her shelves, she identified several minor trinkets that could be useful. This one could levitate whatever it was attached to; that one could change the color of whoever wore it; that other one could release a small electrical shock on demand... There were a lot of possibilities, but it was clear to Sunset that it would take multiple artifacts to make a single worthwhile revenge-prank.

Turning her attention to her favored dozen, several more options stood out to her. The twin stones could be fun if Rainbow Dash owned anything made of gold or lead, though it would require Sunset finding a stealthy way into the mare's floating home. The locket 'Folly' was obviously out for being too dangerous – she wanted to humiliate Rainbow Dash, not give her neck damage. But the Jester's Goblet would be good, and with the right set up Sunset was confident it would take several minutes at minimum for Rainbow Dash to figure out its trick.

Of course, she realized, using the Goblet would require some kind of affair where Rainbow Dash would be inclined to drink from it without finding its antiquated style suspicious. She would need multiple, similar goblets, and a reason to pass them out. A party, perhaps? Sunset tapped her chin in thought, working out the logistics in her head,

Transfiguring a bunch of regular cups into near-identical copies of the Goblet for a few hours would be simple, as would making sure she remembered which was the original as she could just make each goblet's gemstones different. But ensuring that Rainbow Dash was the one who got the prank goblet would require direct intervention on her part, and Sunset wasn't exactly the party-throwing type. And now that she thought about it, wouldn't the hostess passing out specific goblets to each guest be strange?

Perhaps something more formal would work better. Assigned seating and place settings, with Rainbow Dash given the Jester's Goblet to drink from. But what event could she possibly use to justify gathering Rainbow Dash and a bunch of other ponies together? Twilight's birthday had passed, and her own wasn't for a few more months. Spike's was coming up soon, but Sunset doubted a formal sit-down event would go over well with him.

And even if she did find an occasion, where would she even have the party thrown? Certainly not in the Golden Oak, they didn't have the tables. It became clear to Sunset that she was going to have to do some more research if she wanted to pursue the Goblet option. And that was probably too much work to really be worth it.

Her eyes fell on the Lotus Compass last, its needle currently swaying back and forth in a vaguely south-by-southeast direction, and smiled a devious smile. An image formed in her head of her asking Rainbow Dash for some 'help' and presenting the compass to her, with a request to find out what the needle was pointing to. Explaining that Sunset was simply too busy to mount an expedition across Equestria to figure it out herself, but with Rainbow Dash's obviously superior speed she could follow it to its end in an hour, tops! A little more flattery, and off she would go on a wild goose chase to end all wild goose chases.

It was perfect.

Or at least she thought so, until she went to pick up the compass and happened to glance Folly out of the corner of her eye. She recalled the story of the locket, and how its creator had lost in it a swamp only for it to be found again decades later when the swamp was drained. Sunset looked back at the Lotus Compass, and had an image of Rainbow Dash, tired and frustrated, dropping the compass somewhere and failing to find it again.

Sunset couldn't let that happen. If she were going to set the pegasus on that wild goose chase, she wanted to make sure she lost nothing of value in the process. That turned her mind towards security measures; a magical beacon that would allow her to home in on the compass from a distance, or perhaps simply a spell to tether it to Rainbow Dash so she could guarantee it would return when the pegasus did.

But any of that would be tricky and unreliable considering how little she understood of the compass' enchantment. That wasn't enough to get her to set it aside as an option for her revenge, but it did get her to table it and reconsider other things.

In the end, I decided to do something else at the next party I got dragged to. But, uh, then I completely forgot about it, so I never really got my revenge. Whoops? It's probably for the better, though. The last thing I would've needed was to start a prank war between me and Rainbow Dash.

Now that I think about it, though, getting Rainbow Dash to follow the compass isn't that bad an idea. Maybe I'll talk to her about it once I have the time.

Moving on...

It was the day after Sunset's spa date with Rarity, and she had woken up with a crink in her neck yet again.

“Uggh, I have to get a real mattress today,” Sunset griped at breakfast. “Seriously. Ponies were not meant to sleep in sleeping bags for extended periods of time.”

“To be honest, I'm surprised you lasted this long,” Spike said, shoveling a scoop of gem-enhanced cereal into his mouth. He quickly swallowed, and added, “That set-up of yours does not look comfortable.”

Coming from a creature who slept in a literal dog bed, the remark stung.

“If we're getting you a new bed today, we might wanna consider getting something for the basement too,” Twilight remarked, spoon full of oatmeal floating in mid-air. “It would be a lot less work than lugging you up two flights of stairs every time you fall asleep in you lab.”

Spike snickered, and Sunset flushed. “Well, maybe I won't try to pull as many all-nighters if I have an actual bed calling to me,” she said. “And like you're one to talk. How many times have I woken up in the middle of the night to find you snoring at your desk?”

That got even more of a laugh from Spike, and for a moment Sunset was tempted to point out the baby dragon's chronic inability to stay up and help Twilight for as long as she needed it. But it felt both too easy and a little too mean considering his age, so Sunset decided to stay silent.

Eventually, the three decided that it was in fact time to see to Sunset's sleeping situation. Sunset took the liberty of measuring the bedroom and coming up with potential adjustments to the floorplan to account for a new bed while Spike and Twilight finagled the latter's schedule to make room for the trip, and after an hour they were finally ready to go.

Halfway to the furniture store (the regular one, not the one that only sold sofas, quills, and related items for some unfathomable reason), they encountered a snag.

A snag by the name of Rainbow Dash.

“Hey!” she called out, appearing above the three in an appropriately-colored blur. “Just who I wanted to see!”

“Good morning Rainbow Dash,” Twilight greeted with a smile, Spike offering a small wave from her back. “Did you need something?”

“Oh yeah,” Rainbow said with a grin that would, in time, come to inspire unease in Sunset. It was a grin that said she had A Plan.

But at the moment, Sunset was just struck with mild annoyance that she'd been delayed from getting something she wanted by one of Twilight's friends again. “Well, we're kind of in the middle of something, so...” Sunset said, deciding to be polite about it.

“Oh don't worry, it won't take long,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I just need you two eggheads to help me with a new move I came up with.”

Needless to say, she did not endear herself to Sunset with the request.

“Uhh, I guess we can do that,” Twilight said with healthy skepticism in her voice as she shared a look with Sunset and completely failed to pick up on how much she did not want to help. “What do you need, exactly?”

'What she needed' ultimately turned out to involve a lot of math, though none of them were aware of that until after Rainbow Dash had dragged them out to a clearing at the edge of town.

“Okay,” she explained, “so I came up with this awesome new trick for the Best Young Flyer competition that's coming up, but I'm having trouble getting the initial speed right. Yeah, I know,” she said in response to what she must have interpreted as dumbfounded looks, although Sunset at least had maintained a steady level of annoyance for the past fifteen minutes. “Usually I'm great with speed. But for some reason I can't quite nail the right speed, you know what I'm saying?”

Sunset was only half sure she was.

“So I figured I'd get a couple ponies to watch me and see if they can figure out where I'm going wrong.”

“Well, I guess we can try?” Twilight told her, answering for the three again.

“Awesome!” Dash beamed, zipping away to show off her stunt.

It involved, as far as Sunset could tell, a dizzying number of spins and mid-air loops that made use of a few clouds but nothing else. It was difficult for Sunset to follow but it admittedly looked impressive, at least until Rainbow Dash swooped past them low to the ground and attempted a hairpin turn around a tree, only to veer off course and tumble into the underbrush.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight gasped, galloping off to check on her friend. Spike hurried after on foot a moment later, and Sunset reluctantly brought up the rear. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I'm good,” Rainbow Dash said, her eyes still spinning as they came up to her, lying on her back against a bush. She shook away the stars, and quickly alighted again. “But do you see what I'm talking about? Everything up until the end is perfect, but for some reason I can never quite make that turn the way I want to. If I go too fast I can't make the turn and end up crashing, but if I go too slow then I lose all my momentum!”

“Well have you tried just... practicing the turn itself a few times?” Twilight asked.

“Duh,” said Dash, rolling her eyes. “But just doing that won't help since it won't take into account how fast I'm going from the dive and everything else.”

“So what, have you just been doing the entire thing from the beginning each time?” Sunset asked, incredulity breaking through her disinterest somewhat.

“I mean not, like, all the time,” Rainbow Dash told them, averting her gaze in a manner that made it hard for Sunset to believe her, “but yeah, pretty much.”

Sunset shot a look at Twilight, hoping that she'd find a way to get them out of this. She didn't appear to see it, instead looking down at the ground in obvious thought. After a few seconds, she looked back up and with a sorry frown said “Well, I don't really know much about flying, none of us do, so I'm not entirely sure where to begin helping you. Maybe if you showed us the routine one more time?”

Rainbow Dash nodded and did just that, and Sunset let out a sigh in the safety of her own head. She did watch the routine again, at least, and it turned out much the same as it had previously – though since Sunset, Twilight, and Spike hadn't moved far from the bush, Rainbow Dash ended up crashing into them before they could scatter.

“Urrghh... maybe next time you should make sure we aren't in the way first...” Twilight said.

“Yeah,” was all Sunset could say, the world still spinning around her.

The third try didn't go much better, though at least none of them were hit. But it was clear to Sunset that, as things were, they wouldn't be able to keep track of what she was doing long enough to figure out what she was doing wrong. Not that she was able to say as such, and thus get back to doing things she actually cared about.

“Maybe you should try, I don't know, doing it step by step,” said Spike, standing up and dusting himself off.

“How would that help?” Rainbow Dash asked, scrunching up her face,

“Uhh,” Spike mumbled, obviously flustered. “Uhh, maybe... do it in reverse?” he suggested with an awkward smile.

“...in reverse,” Dash repeated, skepticism rising.

Though to Spike's credit, Sunset could reluctantly see something useful in his suggestion. And against her better judgment, she spoke up about it. “Yeah. Like, maybe start with the dive into the turn and see how that goes, then keep adding the steps in backwards if things go well.”

“Uh, yeah, that's totally what I meant!” Spike quickly followed up.

“Well, I think it's a great idea,” Twilight told them both, causing both to puff up with pride though Spike in a much more childish manner.

The three turned to Rainbow Dash, who appeared to be mulling it over. Eventually she shrugged, and said “What do I have to lose?”

It took her a bit to fly up to the right spot to start her dive, which Sunset and the others used to get well out of the way. “Okay, here goes nothin'!” they heard Rainbow Dash call out, and shortly after they saw her swoop past them.

Sunset watched closely as she made a beeline for a tree to do her sharp turn around, and to nopony's surprise she failed to make it once more.

“Well, if nothing else I'd say we've narrowed the problem down to this part of the routine,” Twilight remarked as they rejoined the crashed pegasus.

“Great...,” she said in reply.

Once she was back on her wings, Sunset and Twilight began the process of debating which variable Rainbow Dash should change first: the starting point of the dive, or the angle of it. They quickly settled on varying the angle first, reasoning that varying the starting point would likely take too long due to a higher number of possibilities.

Then came the math. In order to vary the angle they needed to measure it, and as neither of them had any tools at hoof that meant they had to do a lot more guesswork and eyeballing than either was comfortable with. But after factoring in the heights of nearby trees, the length of Rainbow Dash's shadow, the position of the sun, their own positions as observers, and wind resistance, they managed to identify the angle as, approximately, an unexciting -45 degrees.

“Or two hundred and twenty-five degrees, if you were going from right to left,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, causing Sunset to smile and roll her eyes.

“Uhh, okay, can I do something now?” Rainbow Dash asked, having been hovering in the same position for several minutes now.

“Oh, yes,” Twilight told her. “Why don't you try doing the dive at a fifty degree angle next.”

Rainbow Dash looked at her blankly. “A what? I don't know what that means!”

Sunset glanced at Twilight, and in that moment saw her open her mouth with a familiar look in her eyes that told her she was winding up for a long explanation. Deciding that trying to teach a jock geometry was not a good use of her time, Sunset wisely stuck a hoof in Twilight's mouth.

“Just a little bit, uh, steeper,” she said, trying to hide the fact that she'd actually had to think of the right word to describe it.

“Steeper. Got it,” said Rainbow Dash. She adjusted her body slightly, and without waiting for the others to confirm the new angle she launched herself into the dive.

Through the air, swooping down, around the tree, hit the ground. Sunset winced at the crash – she may not have had any liking for the pegasus, but it didn't look like a pleasant experience.

And yet, Rainbow Dash didn't give up. She just brushed off the dizziness and the scuffs each time and kept going, letting Sunset and Twilight and Spike watch and suggest adjustments each time. And each time, Sunset grew a little more incredulous. Not because she couldn't comprehend such a hard-working spirit, of course; Sunset had worked hard and never given up and all that jazz all her life, and seen other ponies do the same.

She just hadn't seen anypony do it with such a physical task before. She was surprised the pegasus hadn't gotten herself seriously hurt yet, or even all that tired. Sunset sure knew she'd gotten tired just watching her.

Over and over again she went, using several angles and even starting points for the dive, and not once did she ever successfully make the turn. Which only meant growing frustration for Sunset, at Rainbow Dash for wasting her time and at Twilight for not calling it a day. It soon got to the point where nearly every fiber of her body was begging her to leave and only her stubborn insistence on staying by Twilight's side kept her hooves planted, until her stomach decided to let her know via public announcement that stewing in anger and resentment was hungry work.

“Oh wow,” she said before she'd even looked up at the sun to confirm its height. “Is it really lunch time already?”

“Is it?” Twilight asked, attention torn away from her flying friend.

Spike's stomach growled in reply, causing him to laugh and give it a pat. “Yup, sounds like it.”

“Yyyyyyeah, I was getting a bit done with this anyway,” said Rainbow Dash, back in the air after her latest crash. “To be honest, we didn't really figure anything out. But don't feel too bad,” she added, and Sunset hoped it was in response to her unamused look, “you did give me a few things to think about. So thanks for the help, but I can take it from here.”

The ego in her voice made Sunset's eyes twitch.

Rainbow Dash ended up joining us for lunch, and we basically just talked about her the whole time. Something about what she was practicing for, what she was hoping to accomplish, what other ideas she had, that sort of thing. I don't really remember it much to be honest, seeing how I really just wanted her gone the whole time. I'm pretty sure she never really apologized for taking up so much of our time.

I was... not the happiest pony going into the furniture store. But at least I finally got a real bed! A good one, too – just the right size, and plenty soft for the pampered city mare. It's served me well to this day.

Rearranging the bedroom to fit it was... not the simplest task, though thankfully nowhere near as bad as getting the Mirror into my lab was. Mostly we just had to force ourselves to move some of our personal books down into the library so we could take one of the bulkier shelves out of the room. We ended up storing it in Twilight's lab.

...Honestly, reading back, this was probably pretty boring to read. But, well, set in ink you know? I mean I could remove it if I wanted to, obviously, but... Ehh. Not worth it. Hopefully this last little story will make up for it.

Sunset had only taken a month or so to fall into a routine – wake up and talk with Twilight and Spike over breakfast, do whatever chores and errands were needed, do some research, have lunch, do some more research, have dinner, and finish up with even more research.

Sometimes she'd change things up by inserting some reading time when she was bored or her research had stalled; she had taken a surprising shine to reading outdoors at any hour of the day, regardless of whether or not Twilight was present.

And sometimes she'd change things up because she was forced to courtesy of the unruly, unpredictable mess her best friend had somehow allowed her life to become. For a mare who lived and breathed schedules, Sunset was surprised by how often she was willing to change things to accommodate other ponies. Far more than she had when it had just been Sunset in Twilight's life, she was sure of that, and just thinking about it caused one of her all-too-frequent bouts of jealousy.

On this particular day, Sunset had made the mistake of volunteering to do some shopping for the three of them alone due to Twilight having stayed up late studying the night before. Her list was simple, just whatever produce caught her eye, and so naturally the fates decided to mess with her.

She ended up in line behind Rainbow Dash. Why the pegasus was standing in line for lettuce of all things Sunset had no idea, but she didn't care to find out. The only thing keeping her from simply leaving the line was her own stubborn desire to see if the stall's claim of being 'The Best in Ponyville!!!' had any merit, as well as a slight hankering for some fresh lettuce.

Rainbow Dash seemed to be having other ideas. “Uggh, at this rate they're gonna be all out by the time we get to the front of the line!” she complained, loudly. She shared a look with Sunset as if to commiserate, and apparently saw what she wanted because she groaned and rolled her eyes and added a chummy, “Am I right?” that Sunset wasn't sure how to respond to.

Seeing how there were only five ponies ahead of them and she could still see heads of lettuce on display next to the stall, Sunset genuinely didn't know what Rainbow Dash was talking about. But, as the ponies ahead of them made their purchases and walked away with multiple heads each, Sunset got a sinking feeling that Rainbow Dash might actually have a point.

Which she did – the stallion in front of them bought up the last three heads without so much as a guilty glance their way, and trotted off with his head held high.

“Seriously?! I mean, seriously?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, hovering irately before the stall owner.

“Sorry, Rainbow Dash,” he said in a dopey sort of voice, drawing the strings on a fat coin purse, “that's just how things are! You're welcome to try again tomorrow.”

The pegasus landed on her haunches with an unceremonious huff. “Yeah. Sure. Totally.”

She didn't move even as the stall owner packed up and pulled away, and against her better judgment Sunset let her curiosity get the better of her. “Why are you so mad? It's just lettuce. I'm sure there's plenty of other ponies selling it today.” She looked around, and sure enough saw two separate stands selling just that in the market street.

“Yeah, but they're not the best lettuce in Ponyville,” Rainbow Dash countered. “How am I gonna be the best if I don't eat the best?”

Sunset looked in the direction the stall owner had gone, and saw him disappear into the bustling morning crowd. “...Yeah, I don't think that's necessarily how that works. And anyways, how do you even know that lettuce was the best?”

She looked back at Rainbow, and was met with a look of sheer incredulity. “Because that's what the sign said, duh! What kinda pony would claim to be the best if they weren't really the best? That would be, like, lying!”

Sunset raised her eyebrow at the self-proclaimed 'best flyer in Equestria', but the point was lost on her. “What?” Rainbow asked.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Well, maybe he just thinks his lettuce is the best. How would you even judge that?” She turned and began to walk away, hoping that Rainbow Dash would take the hint.

She did not. “Well, you'd need an eating contest, obviously, but I guess you can't really do those on such short notice,” Rainbow said, quickly following above and behind Sunset. “At least, not officially.”

“Mm-hm,” was all Sunset gave as reply, silently hoping something would distract the mare.

Naturally, it didn't. “So, seen any other 'best in Ponyville' produce around here?” the pegasus asked.

“Nope,” Sunset answered, eyes fixed straight ahead though not any anything in particular. “They must've all sold out already.”

“Yeah, you're probably right,” Rainbow Dash said, missing the sarcasm. “Stuff like that always goes fast around here. I hardly ever manage to snag any of it!”

“Really? I'd think you'd be able to get in line right away considering how fast you are.”

“You'd think that,” she said, missing the sarcasm again, “but it's trickier than it seems.”

Sunset had a good idea why, and wasn't in the mood to keep the thought to herself. “Maybe it'd be easier if you didn't sleep in all the time.”

So her surprise, that earned a chuckle. “Wow, you're really on the ball this morning aren’t you? But yeah, I probably could wake up a little earlier each day, but you know what they say: live hard, sleep harder.”

“Really?” Sunset asked, looking back over her shoulder with a look of faked confusion as she tried to call out the obviously-fake quote. “Who says that?”

“Ehhhh,” Rainbow Dash replied, trying to play it off with a drawn-out shrug. “It's kind of a pegasus thing. I doubt you woulda heard it.”

“I see,” Sunset replied, looking back ahead with a small yet satisfied smile on her lips.

“Aaaaaaanyway, between flight practice and the whole 'weather patrol' thing,” she said, briefly zipping ahead of Sunset, “I gotta get my sleep when I can. Maybe not being able to get in lines early is just something I gotta deal with because of it, but it's not that big a deal.”

Sunset raised her brow again. “Oh really? So then you wouldn't mind just settling for some regular, not best-in-town produce then.”

“Uhh, yeah, sure!” Rainbow Dash said, averting her gaze in the most transparent gesture of insincerity Sunset had seen in days.

“Well, you won't have to!”

The slightly familiar, slightly scratchy voice had come out of nowhere, as had the head of lettuce that was now being thrust in Rainbow Dash's face. The fact that Sunset hadn't seen the purple-and-orange filly approaching was unnerving, and she wasn't sure if it was a testament to Rainbow Dash's ability to distract her or the filly's ability to move around unnoticed.

Though from what little she knew of Scootaloo, she guessed it was the former.

“Uhh, what?” Rainbow Dash asked, apparently too confused by the lettuce being pressed against her muzzle to say anything else.

“It's that lettuce you wanted!” Scootaloo explained, a bright grin on her face. “The best in all of Ponyville! I bought some in case you weren't able to. Here!”

She pressed the lettuce more firmly against Rainbow Dash's muzzle, and the older pegasus finally had the sense to take it. “Really? Thanks, squirt!” she said, beaming at the head like it was a birthday gift.

Scootaloo squealed in delight. “Rainbow Dash thanked me! I have to go tell the others.” She darted off into the crowd after that, leaving Sunset with several unanswered questions.

Mostly whether or not she was aware of how creepy what she'd done was, and how she probably could have just... not bought one and Rainbow Dash might have been able to get one anyway. There was also the question of why Rainbow Dash didn't seem at all bothered by the encounter.

“Uhh, does that happen often?” Sunset ventured to ask the pegasus who was now staring at the lettuce head like she hadn't eaten in days.

“Huh? Yeah, happens all the time when you're as awesome as I am.”

Sunset gave her a look of disbelief, not sure if she was more stunned by the implication that Scootaloo gave Rainbow Dash gifts that often, or by Rainbow Dash apparently being completely oblivious to it.

“Welp, bottoms up!” Rainbow declared, snapping Sunset out of her thoughts as she opened her jaw almost comically wide.

“You're not gonna wait?” she asked, her disbelief managing to find the strength within itself to rise up to even greater heights.

It was nearly matched by the look Rainbow Dash gave her in response. “Duh? Why wouldn't I?”

So many replies – you don't know where it's been, we're in the middle of town, there's so many better ways to eat lettuce than just raw – flooded her head and were quickly subsumed by the sudden and overwhelming fact that she truly, genuinely, did not care and did not want to spend any more energy on Rainbow Dash. So Sunset said nothing, and just stared as Rainbow Dash bit into the gifted head.

She chewed. She swallowed. And she grimaced most of the way. “Okay, if this is the best lettuce in Ponyville,” Rainbow Dash said, giving the remains a look of disgust, “then we have some pretty bad lettuce around here. Total waste of money.”

Sunset's eye twitched.

And that's about it. We parted ways after that, her to track down that stallion who was selling the lettuce to complain and me to finally get my shopping done and try to forget about the encounter. Which, uh, I guess I didn't do too well.

Regarding the lettuce, it eventually turned out that the whole 'Best In Ponyville' thing was just a boast, but the lettuce itself wasn't that bad. Rainbow Dash just doesn't like it that much. And I guess she forgot about that in her quest to buy some? She was kinda unclear on that point.

But, well, that's Rainbow Dash for you. She loves pranks, flying, sleeping, and herself. Not necessarily in that order. Among Twilight's friends she's the one I understand can predict the least (after Pinkie Pie), but...she mostly means well, and once you get used to her it's pretty easy to get along. Of course, she's also the easiest to butt heads with, and I know from experience she's easy to rile. Like I said before, she's a pony that really only has two speeds. But I can definitely see why she's the Element of Loyalty.

Anyway... that's all I really wanted to say about Rainbow Dash. Which means next is Pinkie Pie... and boy do I have a story about her...

But I think it'll have to wait for some other time. Sorry, diary.

- Sunset Shimmer