Rainy Day
by MellowSoul
First published
I spend a little time with a creation that made me feel better about being left alone with my own mind.
In March of 2028, I'm 30 years old and have been working for about a decade to make an honest living for myself in the world. One day, while I'm walking in the rain without much to do, I find something on the road. An incarnation of one of my first creations, Atmospheric Doom, has appeared for seemingly no reason at all. She's in stable condition and doesn't appear to be wounded. All I can think to do is piggyback her to my small house and wait for her to awaken. I wonder how this is going to go.
Clear
The year is 2028. It's the middle of an overcast March. I've be alive on Earth for approximately thirty years and three months. I was on a leisurely stroll in the middle of a moderate rainstorm. The droplets pelted my hoodie with a deathly cold. I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking at the time. I tended to let my mind wander when I wasn't working. Nothing else could really be heard aside from the rain and my footsteps. Most people would be amazed I could see anything since I usually kept my hair over my eyes. I don't even know how long I was walking when I finally saw her; the pony with a coat as white as snow and wings reminiscent of a traditional angel. I wasn't really shocked or surprised, but not for the reasons you might think. I'd assumed at some point in my life I would develop into a functioning schizophrenic, meaning even if auditory and/or visual hallucinations became a regular part of my life, I could recognize them as such and ignore them. This was the point when I thought my mind had finally relented and given in to the partial psychosis. The thing that stunned me was how quickly I recognized who it was; a creation of mine I developed sometime in October of 2013, when I was only 15 years old. I'd written stories about her and her family a few times when I was between 17 and 19, and seeing her didn't feel that strange because she'd been part of my life for a while. As you can you can imagine, my expression remained unchanged. There was something on my mind though; what should I do? It wasn't very likely she was real, but there were times in my life when I felt extremely whimsical, and this was one of them. When I reached out in an attempt to touch her coat, my hand was stopped from touching the ground like I expected.
"Probably a somatosensation trick," I reasoned.
To further test my theory, I checked for a pulse. There was one. For a sensory anomaly of the brain, this was beginning to seem unusually realistic. There was only one thing left I could really try. Her heart and lungs were functioning, so there was no immediate need for resuscitation as far as I could tell. There were also no external wounds. It was almost like she was in a deep, peaceful sleep. That's when I saw the look on her face. There wasn't any pain or discomfort in it. There was a genuine feeling of warmth and tenderness emitted. Out of options, I lifted her onto my back. Ten years ago, it would've been much harder to do that, but just before I turned 20, I made the decision to increase my strength in case I ever needed it for physical labor. it really paid off in the long run. She was light as a feather.
My home was a small place. There was one room for each basic necessity, and a living area for gaming, music, and television. After placing her in my bed, I left the room for a while to listen to a little bit of metal. I didn't know how long she would be out, so I chose something a little longer; an old katatonia album if I remember right. The blend of a dim day and the general mood was enough to knock me out cold too. She would probably be gone when I woke up anyway.
Atmospheric woke up about two hours after I found her. I could only imagine the feelings she was experiencing. She must've been afraid though. When I woke up, she was standing near the couch.
"Woah! Holy crap!"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," she said to me sweetly.
"It's okay. That just startled me. I thought you would be gone by the time I woke up."
"Did you want me to leave?"
"No, that's not what I meant. I thought you were just a trick of the mind or something. You're the only sentient pony I've ever met."
"I don't know where I am. Can you tell me?"
"Sure. You're on planet Earth. This is where human beings live."
"Human beings!?"
"Let me guess; you've only heard about them in stories, right?"
"How did you know?"
"It's a little tough to explain. For now let's just call it multiverse theory. It basically means there are an infinite number of universes. I know about your universe because it's one I created."
"You created my universe?"
"I'll prove it. I know you have a husband, two biological children, and an interest in heavy metal, right?"
"That's about the size of it."
"You don't seem all that shocked."
"Appearances can be deceiving. My husband tried to commit suicide when we were younger. I can accept just about anything."
"I know why he survived."
"You do!?"
"You and him are my original creations. Everything you know and are came from my head."
"So you're some kind of god?"
"Hah! That's a good one. I can't live anywhere near that long."
"I'm still lost."
"I don't have a computer, so I can't really show you what I mean. I developed you for years as a mental image. Your husband and kids are the same. If you look closer at me, who do I remind you of?"
"Wait..."
I parted my hair and placed it behind my ears, revealing my stonewashed eyes.
"You're him in human form?"
"Not exactly. I made him to be smarter and stronger than I was. It took a long time before I changed my tune and did something about it."
"So he was the ideal version of what you wanted to be..."
"Bingo. That's the answer to the million dollar, or in your case, million bit, question."
Atmospheric pushed back her mane with an open-mouthed and focused stare. Her disbelief and near disgust were beginning to show.
"So you're telling me my whole life's been a lie that you controlled?"
I dropped my act and stopped trying to be funny after that point.
"Look, I know you probably have a lot of questions, so let's start small, okay? Even I don't know why you're here."
Atmospheric took a seat next to me and held her eyes in what I assumed was discomfort tinged with despair.
"That's about everything. I created you in October 15 years ago. I was going through a lot at the time, so I wanted something I could pour my positive feelings into."
"I don't get why, though. Why me?"
"You know how Harmonic was really troubled early on in his life? I didn't have much of a solid support structure. Suicide was on my mind all the time, so that's why I made him the way I did. You were his hope; my way of coping with the negative emotions I was dealing with by countering them with better ones."
"How much like him are you?"
"Well, our physical appearances are obviously different, what with my longer hair and extra strips of clothing, but the jackets and hoodies you guys always wear are based on stuff I'm into. It's the personality though where I think we most strongly resemble each other. I was pretty selfish as a kid, but the more introspection I did, the more I realized I didn't need stuff to be content. It's a classic man on the mountain story. That's why I live here, so I can record music and live my life peacefully."
"So that's it then? Everything we built was because of you?"
"Yeah. Pretty disheartening, I know."
"Don't say that. It's not your fault. You were just trying to help yourself without hurting anybody. I get it. It's just really hard for me to process."
"I don't blame you. I lived my whole life thinking I would snap at a moment's notice and just go completely out of my mind. What you're hearing right now would mess with anybody."
"I'm scared."
I rose from my seat on the couch and held her front hooves together. It was the best thing I could think to do.
"Listen to me. It's gonna' be okay. There's always a solution to a problem. We just have to find out what the problem is before we can solve it."
Atmospheric wiped the tears forming in her eyes away.
"You voice is gentle, just like his."
"Don't cry anymore, alright?"
She nodded. Her smile was weak, but there was some truth to it.
"Mm."
Introspection
"Here."
I handed Atmospheric a bowl of oatmeal.
"We used to eat this stuff a lot at home."
"Your entire species is vegetarian."
"Vegetarian?"
"You don't eat other animals."
"That's horrible. Why would anyone do that?"
"It's just something that happens here a lot."
"I already don't like this place."
"I'm really sorry you got stuck here, especially with me of all people."
"I wanna' go home."
"I know..."
There was a long silence. It didn't feel awkward, just sad.
"I promise I'll find you a way out of here. Just give me a little time."
"Sure..."
"I'm gonna' go outside for some fresh air. You wanna' come with?"
"No."
"Okay. Just try not to get discouraged. We'll figure this out."
Atmospheric gripped her hoodie tight.
"Are you cold?"
"A little."
"Here. You can borrow mine and use it as a blanket or something. I don't need it right now."
"But it's raining and freezing."
"I'll be exercising, so it's all good."
"Won't you get sick?"
"Wouldn't be any worse than what's happened to you so far."
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're safe."
I took off my hoodie, revealing a dark tank top. It was a style my brother and some of my friends wore earlier on in my life.
"Do you want some music?"
She nodded in response.
"I'll play you a band me and my brother are into. It's actually the same one on my hoodie, Bullet For My Valentine."
"You have a brother?"
"An older brother and two sisters. They really helped me out later on when I was going through a hard time. I have a few good friends who listened and talked me down too. Actually, when I get back in, I'll show you something."
"Okay."
I turned on the record I had downloaded to my PS3 and went outside.
The air really was refreshing. I had to get out for a while so I could collect my thoughts. In truth, I was a little angry because I didn't know what to do. I could only devote so much time to helping her, what with my work as a counselor and everything. I guess I was having what you could call a "mellow meltdown". When I finally got back into the house, I was slightly relieved to see Atmospheric enjoying the music.
"I really like this band."
"They were really popular a while back. I don't know much about what they're up to these days."
"What was that thing you wanted to show me?"
"Hold on a sec."
I went back into the kitchen to grab my phone.
"I use a phone to stay in touch with my friends and family. I still talk to John and Rodrigo a lot."
"That's useful."
"No kidding. It's saved my butt more times than you can imagine. There's an old video of my brother I can show you on this thing if you want."
"Alright."
I pulled up the video and gave her the phone. It was an old slideshow video set to rock music.
"You weren't kidding. Your brother really is into Bullet For My Valentine."
"Told ya'."
"His name is Ian?"
"Yep. His name was actually my first word when I was little."
"You really care about him, don't you?"
"Of course I do. He's my brother."
"It's really sweet. Our kids at home get along like that too. Did you make them like that?"
"I did."
"I know I wasn't the nicest before, but I'm thankful for the good things you did for us."
"Don't even worry about it. You're totally justified in feeling whatever's on your mind."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Mhm."
"You said earlier that you were selfish as a kid. What made you change?"
"Introspection."
"Looking in."
"Right. I didn't feel too good acting like that, and the people around me didn't enjoy it either. I mellowed out a lot in my later teens. I still have my little outbursts every now and again, but for the most part I keep myself under lock and key."
"Was there ever any self-hate?"
"Plenty. I've had my fill for one lifetime."
"I'm glad you're still here."
"Thanks. It means more than you know."
"Hey, do you wanna' watch something on T.V.?"
"That gives me an idea. You've never heard of anime, right?"
"No."
"It's 2-dimensional animation from Japan. There's a lot of types; martial arts, romance, comedy, you name it. I've mostly collected martial arts and assassin anime."
"I guess we could try a martial arts one."
"I need to take a shower real quick first. Do you need anything?"
"Not right now."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
"Don't hurry back too fast or you'll forget your clothes."
"I think I'll pass on that."
Atmospheric giggled a little. I didn't think it was very funny, but then again, my sense of humor was so limited you could squeeze it into a dust speck. There was no harm in a little playful banter from time to time anyway.
After my shower, we watched all three of the fatal fury movies. She liked them more than either of us expected. By the time we finished, it was already dark out.
"I need to get some sleep. I've got work in the morning."
"What do you do?"
"I'm a suicide prevention counselor."
"It's really important to you to save other people, isn't it?"
"Their lives are worth a lot more than mine. If I'm allowed to live, they should be too."
"You're too hard on yourself. You've been so nice to me today."
"You didn't give me any reason not to be. That's really all there is to it."
"I don't believe that."
"Anyway, you can take my bed. The couch is comfortable enough for me."
"Thank you."
"Good night."
"Good night, Kyle."
The Anger Process
I woke up about six the next morning. It was still raining outside. I was grateful for that. The sun never reflected my true mood, so having an overcast day brought me a little comfort. It didn't take long to get dressed. Most of my coworkers wondered if I always wore the same thing every day aside from the occasional change in hoodie. When I was done getting ready, I knocked on the door to my room.
"Come in."
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Still a little confused, but I think I'm starting to understand this place. It's like a futuristic version of my world."
"You nailed it right on the head. That's exactly what Earth is."
"I don't know how i'll figure out the technical stuff though."
"One good thing I can say about myself is I get accustomed to technology pretty fast. I can help you with that at least."
"..."
"I was gonna' ask if you wanted to ride with me to work."
"How will I get back?"
"The rain should stop enough for you to fly back later."
"What if it doesn't?"
"How about a low stakes wager? If I'm wrong, I'll make whatever you want for dinner tonight. If I'm right, you'll make something for me."
"That sounds fair."
"So what do you want if you win?"
"A vegetable stew."
"Okay. I can definitely do that."
"What about you?"
"I could go for some baked beans tonight."
"Beans, I can do."
"I won't make you do any animal stuff, so don't worry about that. Beans and nuts have protein in them, so I can always substitute meat with those."
"Can humans be vegetarians too?"
"We can take it one step further and go completely vegan, meaning we don't eat or drink any animal products at all if we want to."
"Even milk?"
"Yeah. For whatever reason there's an argument about whether milking animals hurts them. I never milked one, so I wouldn't know, and even that wouldn't be conclusive enough because some animals are different than others."
"Why would you risk it if it could hurt them?"
"I didn't question it for a while, and when I did, I couldn't make up my mind, so I went with what I knew. I know that's not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's all I've got."
"I don't blame you."
"If we still haven't found a way home for you later this week, I'll finish up all the animal products and change my diet."
"Okay."
"So, you comin'?"
"On one condition; no more putting yourself down, alright?"
"Agreed."
On my way to work, Atmospheric and I had a serious talk that I honestly wasn't expecting.
"Hey, Kyle?"
"Hm?"
"When I made that joke yesterday, you seemed kind of tense. Did I do something wrong?"
"It's nothing personal against you. I was always uncomfortable around suggestive humor."
"Haven't you made jokes like that with someone close to you before?"
"I did a few times with some friends of mine just to try to get over it, but when we got older we stopped doing that kind of stuff and started talking about serious topics."
"I didn't mean your friends."
"Oh...Oh! You meant..."
Atmospheric nodded.
"I've never been with anybody like that. It just wasn't something I wanted to do."
"So you've never..."
I shook my head.
"Can we talk about something else? I don't really like explaining this. I got made fun of a lot for it."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. You didn't know."
"Can I ask you something else, then?"
"Sure."
"You seem a little angrier than my husband. Did something happen to you?"
"I didn't really get along with my parents a lot of the time until I left them, and my sisters weren't really interested in talking to the rest of us much. Everybody was so busy with their lives that we just drifted apart. They keep working themselves into the ground. I suggested a career change to my mom at one point because she seemed miserable with the work she was doing, but it didn't work. After a while I gave up trying."
"You feel like it's your fault for not doing more."
"Maybe if I gave more thought to finances and took my responsibilities more seriously when I was younger, things would've been different. It's too late for regrets now. I'm holding myself accountable until the day I stop breathing."
"That's why you gave us financial stability and loving children. You wanted to redeem yourself for what you couldn't change."
"The entire second half of my life has been a rocky redemption story, what with the suicide attempts and everything, but at least I actually care about something other than myself now. I just wish I could start my life over and do it right."
"There's no point beating yourself up over it. Things are better now, right?"
"Other than getting along better with my mom and dad, nothing's really changed."
"You have to take things one step at a time."
"I just hope those steps mean something at the end of the road. I'd rather die from dehydration on land than drown in the ocean. I used to be a huge jerk too, so that didn't really help either when I realized what was going on around me."
"What's been done can't be undone. Just face it and put it to rest."
"I'm working on it."
When I finally got to the facility I worked at, I was in a state of deep thought. Maybe she was right. Changing my outlook might get me farther than I initially thought, and there wasn't much reason not to now. It's one of those situations where you have to look at things from different perspectives.
"Well, this is the place."
"Even town hall isn't this grandiose back home."
"They employ a lot of people. It's a good place to carry out my purpose."
"I guess this is where we part for the day."
"Guess so."
I unbuckled my seat belt and got out of the car. There was something I needed to show Atmospheric. I pulled out my phone and opened the gallery.
"I want you to look through this."
"What is it?"
"Proof."
I left without saying much else. I was acting mysterious more to tease her than anything. I figured if I was really going to change, I should start now.
When I left work in the evening, she was still in the car, sleeping. She looked cute, almost like an angel. Of course, she was designed with the imagery of an angel partially in mind. Still, recognizing this didn't detract from its truth.
"Hey sunshine. How are you doing?"
"I must've dozed off. You were telling the truth, and it hit me like a ton of bricks."
"I just wanted to put any remaining suspicions to rest."
"I feel a lot better now."
"That's good."
"It's still pouring out."
"Don't worry about the bet. I was just trying to lighten things up this morning. I'll make your dish. You deserve it."
"Are you sure? I don't wanna' put you through too much trouble."
"Everybody needs a little comfort food now and again, right?"
"Yeah."
"Come on. Let's go home."
"Okay."
"Hey, do you wanna' go for a walk with me this weekend?"
"You mean like a date? I dunno'. Never heard of pony and human relationships before."
"Hardy har har. You're a comedian."
"And your wit is so amazing."
"You got me there."
"I would love to."
"For real?"
She nodded sweetly. Her innocence spoke to my mind on a level I couldn't really describe.
"I'm still a little tired. Can we listen to a record until I fall asleep after dinner?"
"I've got a good one for that called 'Deep Blue' by Parkway Drive. It's like an introspective journey in metalcore form."
"I'm looking forward to it."
Heroine
A couple months went by without much incident. We learned a lot about each other over that time. I found out that sometimes she didn't always feel as good as she would present herself. This was news to me, because I designed her to be a symbol of grace and strength in the face of nightmarish circumstances. I taught her about religion and the straight edge lifestyle. I also instructed her in the art of self-defense; both mental and physical. We spent a lot of time together walking and listening to older metalcore records from the 90s and early 2000s. It was a style she was already familiar with, as she spent a lot of time with her family playing similar styles to End This Day, Cast From Eden, and 7 Angels 7 Plagues. One night night, while we were sleeping, someone broke into our house. Atmospheric had much better hearing than me, so she instinctively leaped out of her bed. I was still out cold. If not for her, I might've been killed that night. The burglar had already entered my room when she found him. He was looking at my still body contemplating his next course of action. Atmospheric snuck up behind him and wrapped her foreleg around his neck. She whispered something to him that made him run from the house in terror.
"Touch him and I break your limbs."
I found out everything after she woke me up. Before we met, I probably wouldn't have cared as much. I was very at peace with the idea of dying, and I still am, but now at least, I'm okay with living a longer life too. There was a special event coming up, so I needed to be breathing a little longer anyway. It would be one of the most significant days of our time around.
October 12th
Almost seven months have gone by since I met my creation face to face. In all that time, we still couldn't figure out why she was here or how to get her back home. We learned everything there was to know about each other, but there was one thing she didn't know; her birthday, the day I made her and she began to evolve into who she is now. I was impressed with how much she slept. She gave me and my younger sister a run for our money. I would often find her passed out on the couch while being serenaded by Bullet For My Valentine's record "The Poison". Today, though, was going to be a little different.
"Hey, wake up, sleepyhead."
"What time is it?"
"It's about eight in the morning. Can you come into the kitchen for a sec?"
"Okay."
I went in first. She followed soon after.
"Happy Birthday, Atmospheric."
She placed a hoof over her mouth with wide eyes. There was a breakfast spread on the table with a bouquet of flowers.
"You said you liked every kind of flower, so I got a mixed batch for you."
"It's beautiful, Kyle. Thank you."
"Don't mention it. I just thought you needed to see the brighter side of things today. It's a special day; even more so for you than most."
"I never knew when my birthday was."
"Yeah. I wanted you to go through some tough times to strengthen your own opinions and beliefs. Now I think it's time you were compensated for all that misery."
"I really appreciate that you want to make it right."
"It's the least I can do. Let's go ahead and eat breakfast. I have a surprise for you after."
She nodded at me with the softest expression I'd ever seen. Whatever icy anger she held against me was deteriorating. That was one less weight on my shoulders at least. We sat down and began eating.
"That was good. I've never had that type of bread before. What was that?"
"A croissant. Not really sure what ingredients are used, but we can figure it out."
"The strawberries and whipped cream were an amazing combination."
"Glad you liked it. I learned about this breakfast from my mom and dad."
"Are they close?"
"Oh yeah. Most definitely."
Her face lit up with a warm glow. She must've thought it was really sweet.
"Do you have work today?"
"Nope. I wanted to spend today with you. I let my superiors know I needed to take a personal day off. I usually try to do that when I see my family."
"It really means a lot you would go out of your way for me."
"I would've for anybody, but I'm glad not a lot of people in this town suffer."
"I know what you mean."
"Anyway, I think it's about time you open your present."
I took the gift from my side and handed it to her. There were clothes in the bag.
"What's this for?"
"We're going out for a bit today."
"!?"
"I want you to see some of the world."
"But...why now?"
"Honestly? I didn't think about it before."
"What are we gonna' do?"
"It's up to you. What are you in the mood for?"
"Can we go out shopping for a bit? I want to find some horror games and records."
"Absolutely. What do you say we get going, then?"
"Mm."
"What kind of music do you want on the way there," I asked her when we got in the car.
"Harmonic liked a band called bleeding through. Was that a real band here?"
"I don't know," I lied, "but here's a record you might like."
"You jerk! Hahahahahaha!"
"Got ya'!"
We laughed while I started the car.
"You guys both share the same sense of humor, don't you?"
"We learned it from you."
"Me?"
"Yep. You're a manifestation of all my positive emotions."
"I am...?"
"When I made you, not only was it a reflection of my ideal partner, but it was a reflection of my ideal self."
"What's your ideal self?"
"Someone who's very personable and who people feel like they can trust and relate too."
"I think I know what kind of person you are?"
"What kind?"
"You make up for your lack of academic intellect with your spiritual and emotional intellect."
"I think that's giving me a bit too much credit. If I was emotionally strong, I would get along better with my family."
"From what I've seen, human relationships are much more complicated than anything I've experienced. You had your reasons for fighting with them."
"Not very good ones."
"Maybe not all the time."
"Anyway, no more doom and gloom. This is your day. You deserve to enjoy it."
I popped the CD into the disc player. Before I could start driving, I felt something on my cheek. I looked over to the front passenger seat. Atmospheric was...Smiling?
"It's okay, Kyle. I know what you're feeling now."
"What about Harmonic?"
"You two are the same person, right?"
"I guess, but I don't want it to be awkward, you know?"
"Don't worry. Harmonic will understand if I explain to him."
"You think so?"
"I know, because I know you would if the situation was reversed. You never struck me as the jealous type."
"To me, there are more important things than petty grudges. My health and freedom come to mind."
"That's a good way to look at it."
"Are you ready?"
"Are you going to treat me to a romantic dinner," Atmospheric joked.
"That's a secret. I'm saving the best for last."
"I can't wait."
Atmospheric and I shopped for several hours. She found several RPG and horror games she thought were interesting, along with a number of metalcore and melodic death metal records.
"Which one do you want to listen to first," I asked her after we got back i the car.
"You said you listened to Heartbreak System a long time ago, didn't you?"
"Yeah. One of favorite records from the late 2000s."
"I want to hear it."
"As you command."
"So that's where he got the charm from."
"Hm?"
"Harmonic. He talks the same way."
"I learned it from the people I knew in the goth culture growing up. It's kind of like hypnotic vampire speech."
"In that case..."
Atmospheric moved her hoodie to expose her neck.
"How about a drink, hottie?"
"HAHAHAHA! I don't remember making you such a tease! It's tempting, but we should save room, don't you think?"
"Are we going to eat?"
"Mhm. We're going a bit early because my big gift comes after dinner."
"You're spoiling me."
"Hardly. This is the best way I can think of to say thanks."
"What for?"
"When I felt like the whole world was against me, I kept the collection of personality traits that made you in the back of my mind. For fifteen years, I haven't forgotten."
"Kyle..."
"Let's go ahead and eat."
Atmospheric nodded. I played the CD she requested, and we drove to the restaurant.