I didn’t look at anyone as I walked, not even bothering to turn my head as I continued to think about last night’s events.

I was amazed that I was even able to find my way to my room for a fresh set of cloths this morning, let alone get dressed in them.

“Good Morning, Chris,” Twilights voice echoed, snapping me out of my daze. Looking around, I found myself standing at the entrance of the main dining hall.

“I’m happy to see you’re okay,” Twilight continued as Spike nodded beside her, his mouth full of pancakes. “We were afraid you’d been hurt badly during the match.”

“Uh… what can I say,” I forced out with an uncomfortable chuckle, working the collar of my black shirt with a finger. “Humans tend to recover quickly. How’s your brother?”

“Fine,” Celestia’s voice growled, drawing my attention to the literally fuming princess.

No, seriously, she had actual smoke coming off of her mane.

“Would you look at that,” I said pulling up my left wrist like I was showing off a watch, my fear filled eyes still looking towards Celestia. “I forgot to brush my teeth, I shou-“

“Sit!” Celestia snapped and a bright flash later, I found myself sitting beside Twilight with a small bit of vertigo. “Please have some breakfast, I’m sure you’re hungry after yesterday’s exploits.”

“I’m good,” I squeaked out in fear, shaking my head to clear it.

I knew she knew, and I knew that wasn’t good.

“Hey Chris,” Spike called, drawing my attention. “Did you see the moon last night?”

“Uh… no, why?” I asked as Celestia’s eyes burrowed into the back of my scull and planted a bit of C4.

“It flashed!” Spike exclaimed. “I didn’t even know it could do that.”

“It actually happened a few times,” Twilight pointed out as she summoned a scroll and unfurled it. “Do you know if Princess Luna was working on a new spell?”

“Sorry… I was asleep,” I lied as I returned my gaze straight ahead, even as the room got slightly warmer.

“E-excuse me sir,” a maid asked a few moments later, drawing my attention to the side towards a small mare in a French maid’s outfit.

“Why the hell do they wear those?” I thought to myself as the maid looked at me nervously before continuing.

“What would you like for breakfast?”

“J-just some toasted onion bagels and some veggie garden cream cheese please,” I replied, beginning to think of Fluttershy in a maid’s outfit.

After a few minutes, the dining hall doors burst open as Luna walked in, looking like she normaly did for others.

“Good morning everypony!” She shouted out in a close equal to the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Good morning, Luna,” Celestia replied through gritted teeth. Her death glare finally leaving me and fixing itself on Luna. “How are you this morning? I can see you are almost back to full strength.”

“We have never felt better sister!” Luna shouted back, slightly quieter this time, as she made her way to the open seat besides Celestia with a sway, flicking my face with her tail as she passed.

“Good morning, friends!” Luna joyously called to the three of us once she was seated, flashing me a horribly concealed wink in the process.

“Good Morning Princess Luna,” Twilight replied with a slightly pained smile, probably noticing Luna’s horrible attempt at secrecy.

“Is something wrong with your eye?” Spike asked, apparently not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

“As we have told our sister young Spike, we have never felt better,” Luna replied with a bright smile, her wide eyes flicking towards me for a moment.

“Are you ready to head back to Ponyville today?” Twilight asked me as Luna began to order her own breakfast.

“Can’t wait,” I replied quickly, personally wanting to get as far away from Celestia’s gaze as soon as possible.

“Good, because the first train is in a few hours,” Celestia replied as she ate a small salad; and when I say small, I mean like three leaves and a single cherry tomato. “But before then, I need to talk to you… privately.”

I almost shit myself at that comment.

“Oh, must thou leave so soon?” Luna pouted as she looked at me. I quickly noticed her horn light up and a small cup of tea begin to float towards her… as well as something rub against my crotch. “I wanted to discuss a few things before you left.”

“Which can be done at a later time, sister,” Celestia interrupted as her horn flashed and the feeling against my crotch disappeared and Luna’s cup returned to the table. “But he does have a job he needs to get back to.”

“Y-yeah, sorry,” I replied with a forced chuckle. “Rain check?”

“Very well,” Luna sighed as she continued to pout cutely before turning towards the kitchen. “Where art our waffles!?”

“So…” I began slowly, following Celestia down a hall. “How was your…”

“Stop talking,” Celestia interrupted as we made our way to a secluded staircase leading downwards.

“I’m going to jail,” I muttered as we were probably heading to the dungeons.

“You’re not going to jail,” Celestia growled, showing that she heard my mutter. “You should be going to jail and I want to bring you to jail, but I’m not. Just keep your mouth shut and follow me.”

I was about to reply, but another glare kept me silent.

“One of these days…” Celestia growled under her breath, the sound carrying in the empty passage.

“W-why did you tell the guards to wait back there?” I asked as we continued downward, an odd feeling pass over me momentarily like a I was walking through a curtain.

As the mare remained silent, I couldn’t help but worry for my life as we continued down the stairs.

I was also beginning to wonder how far down this staircase led.

“What do you remember about the match the other day?” Celestia asked as the stairs finally leveled out.

“Everything up to the part where Shining threw me that last time is all pretty clear,” I replied, thinking it over. “Things get kind of blurry after that and, uh… Luna didn’t really tell me anything about it.”

“I suppose she was… distracted,” Celestia growled at the end, glaring at me as her eyes flashed red. “Was there anything she did tell you?”

“W-well…,” I began, really needing to ask her about her eye flashes one day. “A-a few things.”

“Like?” Celestia pressed as she stopped walking and looked back at me.

“She… she told me her name,” I replied as Celestia continued to stare at me. “How her real name actually is, Nightmare Moon.”

“So, she finally told somepony the truth,” Celestia stated more to herself before addressing me. “If I find out that you have told anypony, I will throw you into my sun.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” I replied, not that afraid of Celestia’s threat. “So what if Luna wears a disguise and goes by a nickname?”

“Nickname?” Celestia questioned.

“Luna means moon in an ancient language from my world,” I replied. “I’m sure it’s the same here if my guess is correct.”

“Unfortunately, ponies tend to be very superstitious,” Celestia replied as she looked off into nowhere. “The way she looked and her name caused tension with our ponies. Even though it feels wrong, the disguise and name helped to ease ponies around her.”

Celestia took a moment to relieve a heavy sigh before looking back at me, her posture still low as she stared directly into my eyes. “I trust you won’t be telling anyone any of this?”

“Luna asked the same thing,” I began, raising my hand placatingly. “I won’t go telling her secret to anyone who doesn’t already know. Your ponies are way to skittish to handle the truth anyways, she told me that I could talk to you about it though”

“Trust me,” Celestia groaned as we began to walk once again. “I’ve been trying to fix that for a long time.”

“What about the fight?” I asked. “Like I said, Luna didn’t tell me much.”

“Well, you did surprise me a few times,” Celestia replied, raising my hopes. “I never realized somepony would shout out complete nonsenses when releasing unfiltered magic.”

“And there’s the ridicule,” I mumbled.

“I mean seriously?” Celestia said as she stopped to look at me. “Why would you shout such things?”

“It helped me focus… I guess,” I shrugged, blushing in embarrassment. “It was the only thing I could think of.”

“Well, I would recommend learning how to do that without telling your opponent that your about to do something,” Celestia replied as she turned and continued down the slightly dark hall.

“I’ll be sure to do that…” I replied sarcastically. “But I would like to know how I got to Shining so quickly a few times.”

“You blinked,” Celestia replied as we finally made it to the end of the dark hall.

“Well duh,” I replied, looking towards the large steel door we stood in front of. “Everyone blinks.”

“No, it’s a term we use for short range teleportation,” Celestia replied with a sigh. “Basically, anything within thirty yards or sight.”

“Wait, really?” I asked with a smile. “Awesome!”

“Unicorn foals do it,” Celestia replied patronizingly.

“Couldn’t let me have even that could you,” I grumbled, giving Celestia a stink eye.

“I could always put you in a jail cell,” Celestia replied, opening the door with a flash of her horn.

“So, what did want to show me?” I asked with a flourish of my hands as I followed Celestia into the room.

Walking in, I was surprised to see that we had entered a large supply room. The walls were covered in shelves and a vast assortment of chests and boxes filled the middle of the room.

“What is all this?” I asked as I followed Celestia to a back-wall shelf. There were no windows, but a soft light filled the room from small crystals in the ceiling.

“These are most of the items that other creatures brought from different worlds,” Celestia replied as she retrieved a small box from one of the shelves.

“All of this?” I asked turning to all the boxes around us.

“Just what we could find,” Celestia replied as an all too familiar sound suddenly filled my ears.

*Sherk* *sherk*

“I’m sure you know what this is,” Celestia’s voiced echoed as something small and metallic was pressed against the back of my head. “During the match, around the point where it gets blurry for you, you created somthing like this with your magic, only larger.”

“Oh dear sweet god, your going to kill me,” I spewed out, raising my hands into the air and slowly dropping to my knees. “I honestly never saw this coming. And what do you mean I made one of those?!”

“So much power from such a small item,” Celestia voiced as the object left the back of my head. “Get off the ground.”

“Okay!” I chirped, jumping up and facing her, my hands still raised high.

“During the match, I believe that you subconsciously created a weapon you were familiar with to protect yourself,,” Celestia sighed as she held a handgun besides her head, wrapped in her magic. “You shot my captain several times before we intervened.”

“One, I did not know I could do that,” I replied in a slight growl, lowering my hands and glaring at Celestia. "And two, never point a weapon at me again without probable cause. I don't care who you are."

“Remember that the next time you sleep with my sister,” Celestia replied as she shifted the gun around and offered its handle to me.

“Uh… what?” I asked, staring at the item she offered to me.

“This was acquired some years ago,” Celestia began to explain as I hesitantly took the weapon. “Unfortunately, the individual who had it was badly wounded and did not survive long enough for help to arrive.

“This was one of the few items we were able to recover,” Celestia continued before directing me to the box.

Taking a moment, I looked over the gun in my hand. Due to the cartoon nature of the world, it was a little hard to tell it apart from others I had seen besides the gun gray barrel and dark brown handle.

“Is this a M1911?” I quietly asked myself while moving to look in the box.

Inside the box were a few filled magazines for the gun, an old green helmet, some torn up clothing, a chest holster for the gun and a grenade.

“Holy shit, a grenade!” I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at the item with fascination and fear. “Do you realize how unstable that thing gets over time?”

“Apparently not,” Celestia growled as the item disappeared in a flash of magic.

“So, what am I supposed to do with this?” I asked while inspecting the handgun, trying to figure out how to release the sliding mechanism so I could see the insides of the weapon and check for corrosion.

“Keep it,” Celestia replied as she levitated the magazines and holster to me.

“Uh… why?” I asked, becoming really confused and worried.

“You live in a town set next to one of the most dangerous places within Equestrian borders,” Celestia began to explain with a straight face. “And I don’t need to find out you died because your magic gave out or that you were SHOUTING NONSENSE at a manticore moments before it eats your face.”

“Oh…” I replied as I absently found the slide release while looking at Celestia.

“You do know how to use it, don’t you?” Celestia asked as her right eye gave a slight twitch.

“Well, yeah,,” I replied while looking into the receiver and finding it shockingly clean. “But I’m going to need way more ammo than what is here if I’m going to become a competent shot with this. I’ve only shot a handgun once in my life and it wasn’t like this one.”

“I know how to make more,” Celestia replied like it wasn’t an issue, missing the look of shock and worry on my face.

“Uh… I’m also going to need some things to keep it clean,” I continued before looking at Celestia with a raised brow and a slightly strained, happy smile.

“You wished to see me sister?” Luna asked, waving off a small yawn as she entered Celestia’s room, slightly disappointed that Christopher had to leave already. “We were hoping to get some proper rest today.”

“I’m sure you were,” Celestia calmly replied as she turned away from her telescope and looked towards her sister. “Your night must have been quiet… busy.”

“O-oh… it was something,” Luna blushed with a small giggle, missing Celestia’s horn flash.

“Oh, I’m sure it was,” Celestia voiced, the venom in her voice apparent.

“Sister, what is…” Luna began until she saw Celestia’s rose colored eyes staring directly into her own.

Even as the train pulled into the Ponyville station, Twilight stared at me in confusion, her eyes narrowed and her muzzle scrunched slightly.

“What did you do to her?” Spike asked as he waved a claw in front of the mare, trying to gain her attention.

“She asked what I did last night,” I sighed while standing up and grabbing all the bags from the overhang. “All I told her was that I spent the night in Luna’s room.”

“And what did you do there?” Spike asked as I walked over and picked up the odly catatonic pony with a free arm.

“Nothing,” I replied, keeping what I had done with Luna a secret but still saying I was with her.

The best lies always have a grain of truth as they say.

“Is she going to be okay?” Spike asked as we stepped off the train.

“Yeah, just give me a second,” I huffed as I set the mare down along with her bags.

“You have any ideas?” Spike asked, pointing to the still shocked look on his caretaker’s face.

“A few,” I smiled before cupping Twilights cheek in my hand. “But this one should work.”

With that, I brought the mare close in and gave her a deep kiss. For several seconds, she didn’t respond, but after a while, she sank into it as I felt a small smile appear on her lips.

“Better?” I asked while pulling away and standing back to my full height.

“You do realize that I don’t believe you,” Twilight stated as she regained her voice, a slight blush developing on her face.

“I spent the night in her room, you can think whatever you want,” I replied with a shrug. “If you wanna hear more, just ask Luna.”

“I just might,” Twilight mumbled mostly to herself before looking up at me with worry. “I-I just don’t want you to get into any trouble.”

I sighed while shaking my head before heading off the platform. “Come on, I gotta see if the repairs are done at the spa yet.”

“Right, let’s go Spike,” Twilight replied, shaking her head clear before levitating her bags and Spike onto her back and following me out the station.

“After you check the spa, would you like to join me and Spike for lunch?” Twilight asked as we entered the town fully.

“Uh… sure,” I offhandedly replied as I began to notice that the streets were empty. “Is Pinkie planning a welcome back party or something?”

“She might,” Twilight replied as we stopped just outside Sugar Cube Corner. “But I don’t think so.”

“Something about this seems familiar,” I mumbled to myself as I saw a mare slam her shutters closed.

“Pssssst!” something whispered from behind us.

“You say something, Twilight?” I asked, turning to look at the mare.

“No, that wasn’t me,” Twilight replied before looking back at her passenger. “Spike?”

“Don’t look at me,” Spike shrugged, also looking for what ever tried to get our attention.

“Psssssst! Twilight, Spike, Chris, over here!” came another whisper, only this time, the voice obviously belonged to Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie?” Twilight called as we all looked back towards Sugar Cube Corner’s entrance.

“Quick!” Pinkie whisper yelled as she appeared in the top opening of the shop’s door.

“Oh! Now I remember,” I chuckled to myself as I watched Twilight wonder over to the door with a curious look. Once she was a few feet away, Pinkie zipped out and pulled the unsuspecting mare and dragon into the shop, slamming the door in the process.

“Now then,” I said to myself while turning to the market district. As suspected, there was a small cloaked figure standing outside one of the flower stalls, the hood moving from side to side.

“Friendship my ass,” I grumbled under my breath while fixing my pack, annoyed by how I was so suddenly accepted, yet Zecora was shunned from the get go.

“Excuse me!” I called out while moving towards the zebra. Once she noticed me, her blue eyes seemed to expand from under the hood.

“What is this that I do see? Has a mythical human has come to greet me?” Zecora questioned in her rhythmic way.

“That’d be me,” I replied with a smile once reaching her. Holding out my hand, I continued, “My names Christopher, but everyone calls me Chris.”

“Zecora is what you may call me, a shaman from the Everfree,” the zebra replied as she reached out a golden ringed hoof and gave my hand a firm shake.

“I see your getting the old PONYVILLE WELCOME!” I said, shouting the last part while looking at several silhouettes in windows, knowing that there were plenty of ponies watching. But still, no one decided to show themselves.

“I am used to this,” Zecora sighed as she dug a small hole in the ground with her hoof. “But I would be remiss…”

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” I sighed while looking down at her then to the small flower stand. “If you want, I could pick up a few things for you. They don’t usually run and hide when I go shopping.”

“You would do this for me?” Zecora asked, with a slightly skeptical glare as she removed her hood, allowing her mane to rise up. “When to you, I am just some random pony?”

“Of course,” I nodded, giving a compassionate smile. “I’d like to believe that we can be friends and this is what friends do.”

“Then thank you my new friend, my thanks to you has will have no end,” Zecora replied quickly before pulling out a small list from under her cloak and handing it to me. A quick scan showed that it was just a general groceries list, mostly just fruits and veggies.

“Where would you like me to bring these after I got them?” I asked while looking down at the mare.

With a simple nod, Zecora than began to lead me through the market and towards the Everfree forest.

We both made a little small talk while we traveled and I actually found out that Zecora has been living in the forest for over a year now.

She traveled here from her village back in Zebafrica, far to the east. She wanted to go out and learn more about one of the neighboring nations, but the only real place she could find where her potion making didn’t put others at risk was in the Everfree.

“This spot should be good,” Zecora said as we stopped a few minutes after entering the forest. “Especially if you don’t want to become manticore food.”

“I’m guessing the animals don’t like the blue flowers,” I chuckled, pointing towards a nearby field of poison joke.

“Yes, that is true,” Zecora giggled. “The blue flower does like to mess with you.”

“I’ll be careful then,” I replied with a nod. “I probably won’t be able to get everything now, but I’ll be sure to get it in the morning. I’ll meet you here a little after lunch?”

“That would be good my friend,” Zecora said before quickly wrapping me in a hug, a large smile on her face.

“Have a good day Zecora,” I said as the mare pulled away and began to leave, obviously walking around the field of flowers.

“Apple Bloom, wait!” I suddenly heard Applejack’s voice call. I looked over just in time for a small filly to rush past me towards the field of Poison Joke.

“Whoa?! Kid, wait!” I called out rushing after Apple Bloom to stop her from entering the field.

Jumping forward, I snatched the filly from the ground, and while Apple Bloom may have been saved from whatever the flower would have done, I ended up sliding into the field.

“Bwa! The monster, its got me!” Apple Bloom began to shout and flail as I held her clear over the flowers reminding me that I had yet to actually meet the filly properly yet.

“Apple Bloom, Thank Celestia y’all are okay,” Applejack sighed as she and the others galloped into the field.

“God damn it…” I grumbled while getting up, still holding the flailing filly up and away from me, hoping to prevent her from suffering any ill effects.

“Oh, Chris! Thank goodness you’re okay!” Fluttershy suddenly called as she rammed into my side in a brutal hug.

After that, everything was drowned out by a mixture of yelling, the slightly sniffling mare at my side and the flailing filly in my hands.

“And here I thought nothing exciting would happen…” I sighed, placing Apple Bloom onto her sisters back. The moment she was safely placed, she looked back at me with big wide eyes full of fear and curiosity.

“Calm down kid, I’m not gonna hurt you,” I chuckled while reaching down and grabbing a few of the flowers.

I was already infected, so I decided to at least grab a few for future use… and cause I wanted to see what it did to Gilda.

“There’s no such thing as curses!”Twilight suddenly shouted, drawing my attention to the others. Most were in different states of paranoia, but all I could do was laugh, especially when I knew what they would wake up too tomorrow.

“Let’s just head home, huh?” I asked while pocketing the flowers I picked. Not the best choice, but I wasn’t taking them for their looks now. “Besides, I got stuff that needs to be done.”

“Thank you,” Twilight sighed as she joined me on the walk back towards town. Fluttershy still clinging to my side with an iron grip.

“Chris is right,” Applejack nodded as she began to lead the others out as well. “Ain’t no reason for us to hang around here.”

I could only chuckle, knowing that we all might just be making another trip into the forest tomorrow anyways.

“So all the repairs will be done tomorrow?” I asked Aloe one last time.

“Yes,” she nodded while looking back at the few scattered pipes and equipment placed in the hall we were in. “All the pipes and fixtures are good and all they have left is to re-check the baths and ensure there’s no leaks.”

“Awesome,” I nodded while looking around. “So, come in on Monday, right?”

“If you would,” Lotus said as she walked into the hall.

“You got it,” I replied with a smile and a nod. I began to walk away before another thought caused me to stop. “Actually, do you girls mind having one of the larger tubs set up with some clean water tomorrow afternoon?”

“We don’t see why not,” Aloe replied with a confused look. “Why?”

“Oh, trust me,” I began to chuckle. “You’re going to love it.”

“I see you made yourself at home,” I chuckled while walking into what had once been my slightly empty living room. Several pictures now adorned the walls as well as a haphazardly repaired coffee table and a bookcase with several small books sat against a far wall. Another chair had also been brought in and several small toys were scattered across the ground.

“Sorry for the mess,” Derpy sheepishly smiled while picking up a few small toys. “Dinky sometimes forgets to pick up after herself.”

“No, no, its fine,” I chuckled, setting my bags down and helping move the scattered toys. “We were all kids once, right?”

“Yeah,” Derpy giggled back. “So, how was Canterlot?”

“Not bad,” I shrugged while looking around. “Gilda around? I got something for her.”

“She went out for a flight,” Derpy replied. “Why, what’d you get her?”

“More of a gag gift,” I chuckled while moving to the stairs. “Did you get yourself situated in your room or am I crashing on the couch?”

“I got everything moved,” Derpy smiled. “The post office gave me some time off to get things moved, so I made that my first job.”

“That’s good,” I chuckled while making my way to my room. Once there, I found it as bare as I had left it, the only difference was that it looked like someone had changed my sheets and made it for me.

Geralt was also there, but he seemed to be sleeping peacefully for the moment.

I contemplated using some of the flowers on him, but decided to wait until he was at least awake before bringing the flowers towards a sleeping wolf.

After putting my bag away and storing the flowers in a small plastic bag I had grabbed from the kitchen, I decided to take a peek at how Derpy had set up her and Dinky’s room.

Opening the door, I was actually surprised to see two ponies already inside.

“Do you think mommy will like it, Aunt Sparkler?” Dinky asked as she held up a small crayon drawing to a larger pink mare with a purple mane.

“You mom will lo-,” Sparkler began to reply before she noticed me at the room entrance. “Oh, hello there.”

“Hello,” I nodded while looking over the room. There were a few dressers here and there, but the main occupants of the room were two separate beds and a large pile of stuffed animals that all showed signs of repair.

“Your, Christopher, right?” Sparkler asked as she got off the bed she and Dinky were on and made her way over. “Thank you for letting my friend and her daughter stay here.”

“It’s no problem, really,” I replied as I noticed Dinky get off the bed and begin looking for something.

“What are you looking for sweetie?” Sparkler asked as Dinky began to dig under the smaller bed, papers and crayons quickly coming out as she did.

“I’m looking for the picture I made him,” Dinky called out from under the bed. A few seconds later, she pulled her head out with a piece of paper in her mouth that she quickly brought to me.

“Here you go,” Dinky offered, holding it up for me. “Thank you for saving me and mommy and letting us stay here.”

“Your welcome Dinky,” I nodded while taking a knee and taking the picture. It was a crudely done picture of what looked like me standing over a big purple blob with X’s for eyes.

“Wow, this is really good Dinky,” I smiled as the filly beamed happily. “I know exactly where to put this.”

“Where?” Dinky asked with her childhood curiosity.

“Come on, I’ll show you,” I replied while standing back up and leading both the filly and mare downstairs and into the kitchen.

“Hello, everypony,” Derpy said as we walked in. The mare currently washing some vegetables in the sink.

“Hi mommy!” Dinky said as she continued to follow me to the fridge. While there weren’t many, I did snag a magnet or two, so I had plenty to use as I hung the picture up for everyone to see.

“There, now everyone can see that we have an artist in the house,” I chuckled as I took a step back. Dinky simply looked at what I did before smiling brightly and giggling.

“Do you want to come and color with me?” the filly asked.

“Sure, but only if you don’t laugh at my pictures,” I chuckled while heading back out of the kitchen. “I’m nowhere near as good as you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how it’s done,” Dinky confidently smiled before rushing past me and up the stairs.

“Chris, before you go,” Derpy quickly called, drawing my attention to her as she reached into the fridge and pulled out a milk bottle. “Princess Luna dropped this off, saying its to make up for… something?”

“Sweet!” I chuckled while walking over and taking the bottle for a quick swig. After finishing it, I had to stop for a moment.

That was some of the best god damn milk I’ve ever had.

“Do you really have to drink from the bottle?” Derpy asked with a slightly disgusted look.

“Uh…” I replied dumbly.

“Don’t worry, I got another,” Derpy replied with a playful smile. “Just keep it marked please?”

“You got it,” I chuckled as I put the bottle away in a spot that it wasn’t very accessible. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a picture to draw.”

“That was nice of him,” Sparkler giggled as she watched the human leave. “I honestly didn’t think he would be like that.”

“He’s actually really nice once you get to know him,” Derpy giggled as she finished washing the vegetables.

“Oh, and just how well do you know him?” Sparkler asked with a smirk.

“No-not like that!” Derpy squeaked out with a growing blush.

“I’m just pulling your tail Derpy,” Sparkler chuckled as she gave her friend a good hug. “But this could be a good thing. A filly needs a good father figure, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I guess…” Derpy mumbled as she began to put the food away.

“There’s always Time Turner,” Sparkler offered with a chuckle.

“Yeah… no,” Derpy shivered remembering the one time she tried to actually date the stallion. He was a good friend, but he was a little to… weird for Derpy’s liking. Not that she would ever say that to his face or anything.

“Derpy… all I’m trying to say is that you should find somepony,” Sparkler offered. “What my brother did was wrong, but that shouldn’t stop you from finding a special somepony.”

“And I’m sure I will,” Derpy shrugged with a heavy sigh. “Someday...”

“Keep that thing away from me dweeb!” Gilda shouted as she jumped over my couch to get away from me and the poison joke I currently held.

“Oh, so you know what this is?” I grinned deviously, allowing a slightly crazed look to show in my eyes. “Now I wanna see what it does to you even more.”

“It’s stupid and I don’t care!” Gilda snapped, but didn’t bother doing much more than running.

“Then tell me what it does to you,” I grinned, jumping over the couch and trying to grab the gryphoness without success. “If you do, I’ll save this batch for Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Probably even slip it into a couple of big wigs drinks during the gala.”

That got Gilda to stop as she looked at me with a slightly intrigued look. But that’s also when I struck.

“Gotcha!” I shouted, grabbing one of Gilda’s claws and quickly rubbing it with the flower.

“Bastard!” Gilda screeched as she quickly swung at me with her other claw in a fist, connecting hard with my gut.

“Worth it,” I wheezed as Gilda took the flower and threw it into the fire place.

“You dick! It takes a week for this stuff’s effects to wear off!” Gilda growled as she turned back to me, her feathers ruffled.

“Oh, calm down,” I waved off with a grunt while getting back to my feet. “I know someone that knows a cure.”

“What is it!?” Gilda shouted as she rushed up and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt before shouting into my face. “Give it to me now!”

“Are you talking about the cure or my di-“ I began before Gilda punched me in the gut again.

“Ass…” Gilda growled before releasing me and stomping out of the room.

“Mommy, what does ‘’ass’’ mean?” Dinky asked from beside her mother. The both of whom stood at the room’s entrance now.

“It’s another word for donkey,” I quickly replied with what little breath I had at the moment. “But they find it mean, so don’t say it, okay?”

“Okay, Mr. Chris,” Dinky smile innocently before rushing out of the room.

“What was that all about?” Derpy asked as she walked up to me.

“You’ll see in the morning,” I chuckled as I began to leave, only to be stopped by Derpy’s extended hoof.

“Yes?” I asked looking down at the mare. But the look I received back only caused me the shiver in fear as both of Derpy’s eyes looked at me in a glare, completely in sync.

“You better hope my daughter doesn’t repeat that word to anypony, or you’ll be the one to pay for it,” she told me in an oddly calm voice, both eyes still fixed on me. “Got it?”

“Y-yes ma’am!” I blurted out before rushing out of the room.

“Buuuuuuuuckkkkkkk!” Gilda’s shout echoed, rousing me from my sleep.

Still half asleep and in a fit of panic, I jumped out of my bed and rushed out of my room, grabbing my glasses as I rushed.

“Buck, buck, buck!” Gilda’s voice could be hear as I quickly rushed to the door that led to the attic, not even waiting as I rushed through it and up the stairs, quickly shoving my glasses onto my face.

Once I made it to the top, I quickly stopped in shock, only to fall over in a fit of laughter shortly after.

“O-oh my god!” I wheezed out. Gilda was now completely pink, and I mean completely. The only non-pink part about her were her eyes, which had stayed the same.

“Sh-shut up dweeb!” Gilda snapped once she noticed me, another layer of pink appearing on her face. “I still look better than you do!”

“Why, what happened to me?” I asked, ceasing my laughter immediately.

“Your blue… and your hairs green,” Gilda grumbled as she stared at me with an unamused glare.

“Really?” I asked, finally looking at myself. My entire body was a slightly dark cerulean color and after pulling back the band of the sweat pants I wore, I confirmed that my hair was green.

“It’s really not your color,” Gilda replied as she pulled a blanket off of her large nest and covered herself with it. “Now go get me the cure!”

“Captain planet…” I quietly began looking up at Gilda with a slowly spreading grin.

“What?” Gilda groaned as she dragged herself and the blanket closer.

“He’s our hero,” I began to sing, slowly getting louder. “Gonna take pollution down to ZE-UHG!”

“Ass…” Gilda grumbled as she moved past me, leaving me to fall to the ground from the punch she just gave my gut.

“Z-zero…” I groaned out.

“Uhm… here you go?” Carrot Top cautiously said as she pushed the bag of freshly bought vegetables towards me, her eyes switching between me and Geralt several times. “And you’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smiled while adding the bag to the several others I already had. This was the last stop on the list of items for Zecora and I honestly couldn’t help but marvel at how much she needed. “Thanks for asking though.”

“N-no problem?” Carrot replied uncertainly as I walked off with ten full bags of different foods, everyday items and plants. The only real problem I had with this was that I had not asked Zecora for the bits for everything, so I had to pay for it. But I was sure she would pay me back.

“With our powers, magnified, he’s fighting on the planets side!” I sang while walking down the street. While being blue with green hair made me stand out more than I normally did, it didn’t stop me from having fun.

“Uh… excuse me?” a small voice suddenly asked from beside me.

“Huh?” I hummed as I stopped and look down at my side. Apple Bloom stood a few inches away, looking up at me with a slightly nervous look while also keeping away from Geralt.

“You don’t think y’all are cursed too, do you?” she asked once she knew she had my attention.

“Oh, this isn’t a curse,” I chuckled, figuring that this was the point where Apple Bloom means to go to Zecora and prove what really happened. “This is kind of like an allergic reaction.”

“To what?” Apple Bloom asked back. “Cause mah sister and her friends think they’re cursed and what to hurt somepony even though she aint done nothing wrong.”

“Don’t worry,” I chuckled. “I was actually going to go see Zecora now and she knows the cure. Do you wanna come?”

“Into the Everfree?” Apple Bloom asked as she looked between me and the distant forest edge with both excitement and fear. “But wont mah sister get mad?”

“I’ll take the hit for that one,” I shrugged off, knowing that she would go there even if I said no, so I could at least make sure she stayed safe.

That and because I was now packing heat and had a wolf.

“Come on, I gotta bring these groceries to her anyways. Let’s go, you two,” I continued while leading the way out of town.

“O-okay…” Apple Bloom muttered as she began to walk towards the forest. But I knew this would end up taking too long since she kept looking back and forth between me and the forest before moving.

“Here, let’s try this,” I said as I set my bags down.

Before Apple Bloom could react, I lifted the filly onto Geralt’s back, causing him to grwl at me slightly.

“I-is this safe?” Apple Bloom asked as Geralt gave her a quick glance before continuing forward.

“He won’t hurt you,” I said while beginning to walk once again. “He knows that I’m in charge.”

“Okay,” the filly replied, obviously not paying attention to me anymore as she looked around from her new perch.

“At least she’s not nervous anymore,” I mumbled before continuing forward.

“… and thats why I picked you up before you entered them,” I told Apple Bloom as the three of us made our way around the large field of poison joke.

“But it don’t look to bad,” the filly replied as she looked at the flowers. “Maybe they would have given me my cutie mark!”

“I doubt it,” I chuckled once we were past the field. Zecora hadn’t been there yet, so I decided to head a little farther in. I knew we would be safe because the Zecora had basically said that almost everything tried to stay as far away from the flowers as possible. It was apparently one of the reasons she lived where she did.

“Aww…” Apple Bloom sighed as I pushed through a few bushes. “Ah aint ever gonna get ma cutie mark at this rate.”

“Don’t worry Apps,” I chuckled as I walked into a nice opening containing a familiar, large mangled tree. “You’ll get one, I promise.”

“Okay,” Apple Bloom sighed as she looked around, her eyes quickly finding the tree that was Zecora’s home. “Where are we?”

“This should be Zecora place,” I grunted while the filly jumped off Geralt safely. “Come on, let’s go say hi.”

“Okay!” Apple Bloom smiled as she rushed ahead.

“You mind knocking, kind of got my hands full,” I chuckled once we reached the small door.

“Okay,” Apple Bloom replied before giving the door a good few knocks.

“Room service!” I called out, earning a giggle from the filly as Geralt began to look around.

“What can this be?” Zecora’s voice suddenly came from inside as the door slowly opened. “Has somepony actually come to see me?”

The moment her eyes mad contact me, they widened as her mouth dropped in shock.

“Captain Planet, here to save the day!” I proclaimed with a chuckle while holding the bags up.

Apple Bloom just laughed as Zecora continued to stare, most likely caught off guard by my changed appearance.

“Mind if we come in?” I asked, holding out the bags. “I doubt you want some of these things getting warm.”

“O-oh, yes yes!” Zecora quickly replied as a large smile spread across her face as she moved aside for me and Apple Bloom to enter. “Please come into my home welcomed guests.”

“Thank you,” both me and Apple Bloom said as the filly walked in first and I followed in a low crouch. Once fully inside, I stood up, finding my head to just graze the ceiling.

“I’ll be out in a few minutes Geralt,” I called out to the wolf before the door closed.

“Nice place,” I commented as I looked around. Like Twilight’s tree, this one was bigger on the inside. Most of the walls held shelves with different ingredients, masks and what not, while a giant pot sat in the middle of the room. Off to one side I could see another small door and guessed that it probably led to Zecora’s room.

“T-thank you, my friend,” Zecora replied as she moved past me and Apple Bloom and stood at the other side of the cauldron. “It is not much, but it works in the end.”

“H-hello, Miss Zecora, I’m Apple Bloom,” the young filly quickly introduced herself soon after.

“Hello, young one,” Zecora greeted, giving the filly a nod. “May I ask, why are you with the tall one?”

“Uh… what?” Apple Bloom asked, looking back at me.

“She’s just here to see if you have the poison joke cure,” I replied while setting the bags down against a wall. “Her sister and friends are jumping to some slightly worrying conclusions.”

“A cure for the blue flower?” Zecora nodded as she went over to a shelf full of books. She pulled out a small olive green one before turning to a specific page. “Ah, yes, it’s as simple as a shower.”

“I actually have a bath at the spa open, so if you have all the ingredients, we can head over there and get started,” I said while pointing back towards the entrance with my thumb.

“Wh-while I am sure that is true,” Zecora nodded with a little hesitance. “I still need a small piece of mildew.”

“I can get it,” Apple Bloom offered with a smile.

“It’s aright App’s, I’ll get it,” I told the filly, earning a small frown from her. “Why don’t you keep Zecora company until your sister and the other show up.”

“They’re comin here?!” Apple Bloom asked in worry.

“Yeah… so when they do, just make sure they stay calm until I get back,” I replied before looking over at Zecora. “So where is this mildew and what does it look like?”

“It is a little farther in,” Zecora explained. “And it will seem very thin. The mildew will be a light brown, It will look as if it’s a rocks crown.”

“So it grows on the top of some rocks a little past your hut?” I asked, earning a nod from the Zebra. “Okay, I’ll be right back. Apple Bloom, behave.”

“Ah aint even do nothing…” the filly grumbled before I walked out.

Now before anyone thinks about how I just left a child with a stranger, I did take a quick glance through a window beforehand to see Zecora showing the filly a few of her books.

“Make sure nothing happens to her,” I told Geralt as the wolf joined up beside me. Receiving a simple nod as a reply, I turned away from the window.

“Now than,” I said while walking behind the hut and into the forest again. I knew that the others would be arriving soon, so I didn’t waste much time in looking for small rocks and began to search for hopefully a larger boulder instead.

After a few minutes I came to a small cliff face that had what I wanted and Zecora was right, it did seem a bit thin. But also slightly heavy, the quick handful I grabbed seeming to weigh almost ten pounds if I had to guess.

“Crazy world and its magic…” I mumbled to myself while heading back to Zecora’s. Even before I re-entered the clearing, I could hear several yells coming from the home.

“God damn it…” I groaned out while rushing towards the front door and quickly opening it to a scene of slight chaos.

Twilight was holding Rainbow Dash back by her tail, her blue spotted horn flopping around a bit. The rainbow mare was trying to reach a slightly concerned zebra, trying and failing to use her wings as the largest one seemed to refuse to move at points.

Applejack was reprimanding her younger sister’s actions from a top the filly’s back and the puff ball known as Rarity was over in a corner, whimpering as she tried to get all the twigs and leaves from her overly fluffy mane and coat. Pinkie Pie, for her part, just seemed to be sitting patiently while blowing random raspberry’s with her inflicted tongue.

The only one I couldn’t find was Fluttershy.

“What the hell’s going on here?” I asked, playing dumb.

The entire room quickly fell silent as everyone’s attention quickly fell on me.

“Chris, is that you?!” Rarity shouted, being the cry out. “Don’t look at me! I’m hideouuuuussss!”

“See, she got him too!” Rainbow pointed at me, as Twilight looked over at me.

“And you!” the small Applejack called as she hopped off her sisters back. “What right do ya have fer bringin’ ma sister here?!”

“PPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTT!” Pinkie Pie slobbered over the side of my face while trying to say something.

“First, it’s not a curse Rainbow Dash, so calm the heck down,” I began, wiping most of Pinkie’s slobber off my face before looking at Applejack. “And I brought her here because she would have come here on her own anyways.

“And Pinkie,” I continued looking at the pink mare next to me. “This is not the time or place for you to be slobbering all over me.”

At this, Pinkie blushed a little, quickly looking at the floor as the blush grew slightly more.

“Not like that,” I sighed before mumbling under my breath. “Although, I wouldn’t be against it.”

“You’re blue! How can that not be a curse?!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Because…” I began before taking a heroic stance. “I am… Captain Planet!”

The entire room just stared at me after I said that. It even seemed that everything had gone silent outside as well.

“…your all suffering from a reaction from a magic flower,” I grumbled while letting my stance fall in defeat. “The cure is a simple herbal remedy and Zecora has it in one of her books.”

“But I didn’t see anything about this in any of my books,” Twilight said as she looked over at Zecora.

“I have it here in this book,” Zecora said as she pulled the book from earlier out and handed it to Twilight. “Come over here and have yourself a look.”

“What?!” Twilight almost shouted as she rushed over to the zebra.

“Where’s Fluttershy?” I asked the others while Twilight groaned about the book.

“I think she went to go get you,” Rainbow shrugged before chuckling a little. “But wait till you see what happened to her, she…”

“Has a voice that’s deeper than Big Mac’s, yeah I know,” I replied before I realized my mistake.

“Yeah… but how do you know that,” Rainbow Dash replied with a raised brow as Applejack’s attention was also drawn. “She told us that she hasn’t seen you all day.”

“I-I got my sources,” I stuttered as I tried to wave it all off. “But that’s beside the point, I got Aloe and Lotus to set a bath up for us at the spa for the cure.”

“Than what the hay are we standin around here for?” Apple Bloom commented as she made her way to the door. “Lets go get mah cutie mark in… uh…”

“Herbal remedies?” I offered with a little chuckle.

“Yeah! That!” Apple Bloom shouted before rushing out the door.

“Man, I miss my childhood…” I sighed before rushing out the door with a shout.

“Go Planet!”

“Keep laughing dweeb, at least I could fly strait,” Gilda jokingly growled at the rainbow mare beside her. Her and the other six mares all sat in one of the spa’s largest tubs, all cured.

Except for me.

“But you were pink!” Rainbow heartily laughed before getting splashed with water by Gilda.

“Hey, what’s wrong with pink?” Pinkie Pie pouted before smiling. “I like pink, it’s one of my favorite colors!”

“What color isn’t your favorite?” I chuckled from outside the tub, causing the filly next to me to giggle.

“Chris, aren’t you going to join us?” Fluttershy asked from beside Twilight and Rarity.

“Yes dear, come and join us. The water is divine,” Rarity added with a twinkle in her eye and a smirk on her lips. “But be sure to strip down first; wouldn’t want you to ruin your clothing.”

“I’ll just wait my turn, thanks,” I chuckled before moving over to the side of the tub.

Looking over, I could see Zecora talking with my boss’s. Apparently, after the twins got through their fear of her, they asked if she knew any good herbal mixes for the baths aside from the cure.

“Hey, Apple Bloom,” I said, looking down at the filly next to me.

“Yes?” Apple Bloom asked as she stared up at me from shin level.

“I wanted to say good job,” I smiled down as I took a knee so she didn’t have to strain her neck. “I know you wanted to go out and greet Zecora properly the other day, but we left before you could.”

“I just didnt like how everypony was afraid ah her, when she aint done nothin wrong,” Apple Bloom replied sheepishly.

“And it’s unfortunate that something like that happened,” I sighed while scratching behind on of the filly’s ears. “But that’s why I’m saying good job.

“If you weren’t there, your sister and her friends might have done something bad to a good per…zebra,” I smiled.

“Yeah, I guess I did do pretty good, huh?” Apple Bloom smiled to herself, only to sigh as she looked back at her blank flank. “But ah still didn’t get mah cutie mark.”

“Don’t worry, Apps,” I chuckled, ruffling her hair before standing up. “You’ll get…”

SPLASH

“That’s for using the poison joke on me to begin with dweeb,” Gilda chuckled from above me, allowing a few final drops of water to fall from the bucket in her claws.

“Glad I emptied my pockets before coming in here,” I replied as I wiped off some excess water from my eyes as I noticed the blue begin to fade from my skin like water itself. As the others seemed to laugh at my current predicament, I simply smiled, planning to end my planet saving with a bang.

“Cannon Ball!”

SPLASH!!!!!

*Skrt*

Earth!
Fire!
Wind!
Water!
Heart!

GO PLANET!

By your powers combined I am Captain Planet!

Captain Planet, he's our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
He's our powers magnified,
And he's fighting on the planet side

Captain Planet, he's our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
Gonna help him put us under,
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"

(chanting)
We're the planeteers,
You can be one too!
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do,
Looting and polluting is not the way,
Hear what Captain Planet has to say:

"THE POWER IS YOURS!!"

*Skrt*

Author's Notes:

Hello Everyone!
Like always, quote that title, but I'm sure it's an easy one to figure out.

I used to watch Captain Planet all the time as a kid, so when I thought about Poison Joke, I knew thats what I wanted it to do.
Also, if I did ever find myself blue with green hair, I would definitely go around singing the song.