“You know,” I sighed, sitting in the small chair offered to me by Nurse Redheart. “Being asked to come in immediately by you, Redheart, was worrying enough, but she’s just taking it to a whole new level.”

I currently sat in a small medical office with Nurse Redheart after getting a notice that she needed to see me immediately. But when I entered the small room, I found not only Nurse Redheart, but a vibrating Twilight with a smile larger than I’ve seen on Pinkie Pie after an all-night chocolate binge.

My spider senses were tingling.

“Ms. Sparkle, please calm down,” Redheart groaned, giving the other mare a glare. “I went to you first because the Princess said to keep you in the loop if anything came to light.”

“But I can’t help it!” Twilight chirped as her horn lit and she pulled out a clean sheet of parchment from a large stack beside her. “If what you told me is true, this could lead to a whole new avenue of magical and biological study.”

“Yeah, still here,” I quickly interrupted, drawing both mare’s attention. I was beginning to get worried and Twilight was not helping in the slightest.

“I’m sorry sir,” Redheart quickly apologized as she pulled out a few papers from a cabinet to her side. “I wanted to talk to you about your odd ability to breed with all sentient beings.”

“Ooookay?” I asked as Twilight’s continuous vibrations caused me to stare at her for a moment. “I mean, its really weird… but weird is my life now, it seems.”

“No, Christopher, its beyond weird,” Redheart replied sternly as she held out the papers to me. I barely spared them a glance before Twilight snatched them up and began to make her own copies.

I didn’t understand that medical mumbo jumbo anyways, so I didn’t care much.

…I probably should though.

“Something like that should be impossible without the use of magic and potions; and even then, the chances are slim to impossible,” Redheart began to explain, a frown on her face. “When you left the other day, I asked for a few more test to be done… and the results revealed something surprising.

“The reason that you can breed like I said, is because your adapting,” Redheart explained with an even look.

“Well, yeah… I kind of have to, don’t I?” I questioned, not really understanding what she meant. “New environments and all that?”

“No, she means that you are literally ‘adapting’,” Twilight began as she looked over the papers. “They ran several tests and found that your biology is adapting to the magic near it.

“It explains so much!” Twilight cheered as she finally looked at me. “You’re a predator, an unknown species and larger than ponies, yet you didn’t cause much of a panic because on an instinctual level, we felt like you were one of us.”

“That did seem kind of weird,” I replied as I thought about it. “But I still don’t understand.”

“You once told me something,” Twilight began, papers being filled out beside her head in magic. “About how one of humanities greatest abilities is how they can adapt to almost any situation and environment?”

“It’s what got humanity as far as we have,” I nodded as I gave it some more thought. “So… your saying that something is causing my body to adapt at an almost blinding rate?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s that fast, but that seems to be the case,” Redheart replied. “When your magic senses a different species magical signature, it seems to adapt your own biology in a way to basically match. Non-sentient creatures have little to no magic, which would explain why you can only procreate with sentient creatures.”

“That must be why all the humans that arrive here turn into ponies,” I voiced in contemplation, thoughts running through my mind. “By what Celestia said, all the humans they’ve come across turned into ponies because they are only in contact with ponies.

“If they came into contact with other species first, they may have turned into that species because they adapted,” I continued. “And once they’ve changed, they’ve finished adapting?”

“Uh… should we be talking about this around…” Twilight began, sparing Redheart a quick glance.

“I’m Christopher’s assigned medical examiner,” RedHeart replied, glaring at Twilight for a moment. “Princess Celestia signed off on my non-disclosure herself as well as notified me of several other pertinent things.”

“And its thanks to my element that I was able to keep my human form,” I began to mumble to myself. “But if I took it off, would I be able to keep it or has my body adapted fully? And is it really what gave me the ability to use magic or was it something else?”

“Do you understand what this means, Christopher?!” Twilight yelled at me with wide eyes, forcing me to look at her with her front hooves. “With enough test and study, we could probably adapt that kind of ability to work for ponies! Think of the possibilities!”

“You are not strapping me to that damn table again,” I quickly told Twilight, dashing the look of hope she had been developing as I pulled my face away from her. “And this doesn’t sound as good as you think.”

“It’s not,” Redheart agreed. “If ponies got ahold of this kind of information, Christopher would probably be hounded consistently by scientist just to get a blood sample.”

“And then there’s these possibilities,” I added, looking towards Twilight. “Do you know what blood magic is?”

“I-its one of the forbidden magical arts,” Twilight replied as she and Redheart visibly shivered. “It’s one of the most dangerous forms next to necromancy and soul magic. But you shouldn’t have to worry, there hasn’t been a blood mage in decades.”

“But there could be a resurgence if word of my ability spread,” I replied as my mind locked onto Twilights admittance of soul magic. “Who knows what kind of things could be done with my blood alone.”

I had never thought that soul magic could be a thing in this world. But when Twilight said soul magic, my mind locked on to Skyrim and their soul gems… gems that took power by basically draining the souls of other creatures.

“Perhaps we should talk to the Princesses about this?” Twilight offered uncomfortably.

“Yeah… yeah,” I mumbled, still thinking about soul magic. “We should probably check with the few prior humans too, in case they possess this ability as well.”

“I already sent word too Canterlot,” Redheart replied to my suggestion as I began to become lost in my own thoughts. “The samples were old, but indistinguishable from that of a normal pony. If the princess didn’t say otherwise, I would think they had been ponies to begin with.”

“So many questions answered,” I mumbled to myself. “And yet, just as many to be asked still.”

“O-ow,” I chirped as Fluttershy continued to clean a small wound on the top of my head. “It’s not that bad Fluttershy.”

“S-sorry,” the mare timidly replied, still working on the wound. “B-but it could g-get infected a-and I don’t want you to get sick… I-if that okay?”

“Thank you Fluttershy, but I’m fine,” I smiled, softly pulling the mare’s hooves away from my head. “All I did was bump my head.”

“You should be careful,” Sweetie Belle chirped from beside us. “My sister says that blood stains the coat and is really hard to get out.”

“Then don’t get any on your fur,” Scootaloo commented as she lay down on her back, staring up at the cloudless sky.

Today was Saturday and my first day of watching the Crusaders. Luckily, all we were doing was cleaning out Applejack’s old clubhouse.

Fluttershy showed up while me and Applejack were inspecting the structure with some snacks and drinks though, surprising us all.

“We’re back!” Apple Bloom called out as she and Applejack returned with some spare wood and tools for repairs.

“Sorry about this,” Applejack sighed as she unhitched herself from her cart of supplies. “Ah didn’t think it would be so bad.”

“It’s okay, sis,” Apple Bloom replied. “It’s still really cool!”

“Yeah, our own clubhouse!” Sweetie Belle chirped, hopping up and down in excitement.

“It’s not that cool…” Scootaloo grumbled under her breath as she got back to her hooves.

“I-I think its sweet,” Fluttershy smiled, sitting firmly in my lap. “I-I had one as a f-filly too… but it was made out of clouds.”

“I always wanted one myself,” I added, scratching Fluttershy’s head. “Never lived somewhere long enough or with a good enough tree to make one though.”

“Well, now we got one!” Apple Bloom proclaimed proudly. “And it’s gonna be the best clubhouse that ever did clubhouse.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Scootaloo grumbled. “Can’t we just get to work on finding our cutie marks already?!”

“Who knows,” I began, not even bothering to look at the annoyed filly. “Maybe you’ll get a cutie mark in clubhouse repair.”

“Really?!” the three crusaders called, growing giant smiles.

Knowing what was about to happen, I once again covered Fluttershy’s ears.

“Cutie Mark Crusader Club House Builders!”

“I really wish ah could help more, but ah gotta get back to work,” Applejack told me once our hearing returned. “I’ll be around to help if yah need it every now and then.”

“Don’t worry, Applejack,” I told the mare, kissing her cheek when she came close enough. “I’ll take of it.”

“I-I can help too,” Fluttershy chirped, surprising me when she grabbed Applejack and gave her a kiss on the lips.

“Uh… I’m just gonna… get tah work,” Applejack mumbled as Fluttershy released her.

“I don’t think she liked that,” Fluttershy commented as Applejack rushed passed the fillies, the group too immersed in going through the tools to notice what happened.

“Some people just don’t like that kind of thing,” I replied as I placed the mare on the ground and stood up. “But we can talk about that another time. For now, we have a treehouse to fix.”

“This is gonna be so much fun!” Applebloom cheered as the three fillies rushed toward us wearing hard hats and carrying hammers. “What do we do first?”

“I have no idea,” I smiled, ready for my next adventure.

“This is nice,” Fluttershy sighed as I softly dug into her back with my fingers. After spending a few hours fixing the clubhouse with the crusaders, I spent the rest of the day at my home with Fluttershy.

The mare in question laying on my bed, blissfully sighing as I gave her a small massage while I thought of what I had learned the other day.

“Just how has my adaptability changed me?” I thought while I worked. “And soul magic? Is there some way to confirm this without going to Celestia or Luna?”

“Oh good, thou art home,” a familiar voice echoed from behind as Luna entered my room, drawing me from my thoughts. “We aren’t interrupting anything, are we?”

“P-princess Luna?!” Fluttershy chirped as she noticed the princess, quickly jumping out of my grasp and the bed with a glowing face. “W-what are y-you doing here?”

“We were actually looking for you, young Fluttershy,” Luna smiled as her horn glowed briefly and a thick scroll appeared beside her.

“Huh?! Is that what I think it is?” Fluttershy asked suddenly, her timidness gone in an instant as her eyes locked onto the scroll.

“Yes, it is,” Luna smiled as she floated the paper to a smiling Fluttershy, completely ignoring my confused stare.

“Oh, this is perfect,” Fluttershy smiled as she took the scroll and opened it with shining eyes.

“Uhm… did I miss something?” I asked, just staring at the two of them.

“Oh, sorry,” Fluttershy replied, holding the scroll out for me.

Taking the scroll, I began to look it over while Fluttershy explained what it was.

“It’s a “Herd Registry Form”,” Fluttershy began while sitting back down on the bed. “It’s used to keep track of a herd and its members.”

“It’s something my sister began to help with something called a “Census”,” Luna added as she came up next to me and looked at the form as well.

It was honestly pretty confusing to me as the entire top portion was filled with several paragraphs of legal mumbo jumbo. Below that were several empty boxes marked for a “Herd Stallion”, “Alpha mare” and a “Beta Mare”. The majority of the lower form consisted of a large 20 row table with four columns.

“I get this top portion, but what’s this giant table for? Also, what’s a beta mare?” I asked pointing out the spot to the other two. When I had talked to Velvet, a beta mare was something she hadn’t mentioned.

“The table is for the other members in your herd,” Luna explained, using a free hoof to indicate the large table. “There are spaces for name, race, gender and herd position.”

“And a beta mare is like a second Alpha mare,” Fluttershy began to explain as I continued to stare at the form. My mind slightly blanking at how large it was. “They’re very important when it comes to larger herds because they help keep things organized and moving smoothly.”

“And the reason there are so many spaces?” I asked, trying my best to not glare at Fluttershy.

This was getting horribly out of hand.

“That is the largest limit either me or my sister are able to allow without the nobles sticking their noses into it,” Luna replied with a devious smirk. “You should feel honored, very few ponies are given such limits to begin with.”

“Thank you, Princess Luna,” Fluttershy smiled, missing the look of shock I gave Luna. “W-would you like me to save a space for you?”

“Ah, yes, that reminds me,” Luna chirped as her horn flashed and a large stack of paper appeared before her, the stack being at least an inch thick. “We need Christopher to fill this out by the time of Grand Galloping Gala.”

“That’s just around the corner, what the hell do you need it for?” I asked, starring at the stack of paper in horror.

“Remember how we spoke of keeping our relationship a secret?” Luna began, earning a nod from me. “Well, there is a chance to court a princess of Equestria.

“This form is just the first step,” Luna continued, floating the stack over to my bedside table. “We need you to have this filled out and given to us as soon as possible so that we may ensure they participation in the second part come late fall.”

“I’ll make sure it’s done and that a spot is saved for you, Princess,” Fluttershy replied, completely missing my look of dread. “Thank you again for this princess.”

“It is of no trouble, Fluttershy,” Luna replied, smiling down at the mare. “You would have needed a royal issue either way, seeing as thou both are elements.”

“This is different from a regular form?” I asked, shaking my head and deciding to just go with the flow until I had time to actually think to myself.

“Yes, because of your standing in society, certain precautions must be kept,” Luna began. “There is a magical copy of this form kept in the castle that will mimic this one perfectly. The difference between this one and a normal one is that each area must be filled out individually by the joining party and must then be accepted by both the Alpha mare and herd stallion before it will be “accepted”, so to speak.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, honestly intrigued by what she was explaining.

“If you would?” Luna asked the timid mare next to me as she levitated a quill from a nearby table.

“O-okay…” Fluttershy stuttered as I set the form down for her. I watched as she filled out the space for the Alpha mare and was surprised to see her cutie mark to appear the end of her name, the only thing wrong with it was that it lacked color and was grayed out.

“Now, if you would fill out your space as well Christopher,” Luna said as Fluttershy gave me the quill. With a nod and shrug, I took the quill and filled out my spot, doing my best to prevent anything from splotching.

Once I was finished, I looked at the end, to see if anything would appear and became slightly confused and surprised when a strange looking ball of gray fire appeared.

“Well… at least something showed up,” I shrugged, looking at the gray symbol. “Do you two see that?”

“See what?” Fluttershy asked, looking at the spot with obvious confusion. “M-maybe there’s nothing there because you don’t have a cutie mark.”

I simply stared at Fluttershy for a moment before switching my gaze to an equally baffled Luna.

“Art though okay?” Luna asked, concern and worry in her voice.

“Uh… yeah, I’m fine, sorry,” I replied, deciding that it would be easier to keep the image to myself for now, unsure of what it could mean. “Uh… please, continue.”

“Now, it you would simply touch Fluttershy’s symbol,” Luna indicated. With another nod, I pressed one index finger onto the symbol and watched as color filled in the mark. Fluttershy did the same with my name, causing the mark to color ever so slightly with red and blue, but still remain more grayed out than it probably should have been.

“Now, if somepony were to join your herd, first they must write in the information themselves followed by BOTH of you touching the box with their name,” Luna informed. “This is to prevent any tampering with the form on both ends.”

“Takes a lot of magic to do this huh?” I asked, marveling at the form.

“Which is why it is not more common,” Luna informed, looking at the form with a small smile before looking at me with a slightly pleading look. “You will fill out the other forms, right?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll start on it tonight,” I replied, my mind in a slight haze.

“Thank you,” Luna smiled before taking a step back. “We must be going, but if either of thou have any questions, don’t be afraid to contact us.”

“Thank you once again, Princess Luna,” Fluttershy replied, surprising me once again when she floated up and gave the princess a small hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Hot…” I mumbled to myself as a soft glow began to fill both mare’s faces.

“W-well then,” Luna stuttered, shuffling her wings slightly. “G-good night e-everypony.”

Without another word, the princess left the room, leaving me and Fluttershy alone.

“Well…” I sighed, looking at the form and stack of papers. “There goes our night.”

“The form has been delivered sister,” Luna stated as she reappeared in her sister’s room beside a small glowing gem, having just given Christopher and Fluttershy several documents.

“Right… very good,” Celestia absent-mindedly replied staring at an exact copy of the herd form that had just been delivered. “I see young Fluttershy placed her name first.”

“Yes sister, but that’s to be expected seeing as she is the Alpha mare of the herd,” Luna replied.

“Good… good,” Celestia replied, still staring at the paper. “And the other form?”

“Christopher has informed us that he will be looking it over tonight,” Luna replied with a small smile. “There is still time to…”

“Enough,” Celestia interrupted, the form in her magic disappearing in a flash. “This is the only way.”

“Is it sister?” Luna asked with a raised brow.

“You know it is,” Celestia growled, pushing past her sister. “I have a meeting to attend.”

Luna couldn’t help but sigh as she watched her sister storm out of the room, a scowl clearly marking her face.

“I’ll admit, I’m slightly shocked and a little disappointed,” I mumbled to myself, while looking over the forms Luna had brought me to fill out. It had already been two days and I had barely gotten though two pages of legal script.

By what I could make out of it so far, it was a bunch of releases on several things. It reminded me of the time I had to sign a form to ride a dangerous ride in an amusement park.

Which made sense, seeing as it was an entry form for a fucking tournament!

When I found that out, I immediately went to Twilight so I could talk to the Celestia or Luna.

But Twilight was able to tell me more about it, saying that her brother participated once.

It was a combat tournament between all the races on the planet that was held every few years. Not only would the rulers set up wages and bets, but a boon from each nation was given to fighters who fulfilled certain conditions.

Which was probably the thing that I needed to add Luna to the herd.

“Why am I even doing this again?” I asked no one in particular. It was early in the morning and everyone else in house was asleep, including my bedmate, Applejack. “And why is it always fighting?”

The mare had decided to spend the night after filling out her information on the herd form. The second name to be added to the lower table.

The only other pony to add their name was Valiant. Gilda said she would, but she had to settle a family issue first and Vinyl was attending a concert in Manehatten… how that was possible with her being deaf slightly confusing me.

Twilight fainted.

But after she woke up and calmed down enough to talk, she said she would sign after talking more with her family and brother. The two of them were close and I honestly didn’t want their relationship to suffer since I was pretty sure I wasn’t on Shining’s well-liked list.

Rarity said she still wasn’t sure if that was what she wanted and then proceeded to go on about her fool proof plan to convince Prince Blueblood to be hers.

I gave her a pity pat on the head before leaving.

“Granny always said to watch out fer the ones that talk to themselves,” Applejack’s slightly tired voice suddenly rang out, causing me to jump slightly.

“Whoever said I was talking to myself,” I chuckled back, giving the mare a playful shove as she sat up beside me. “You never know who could be watching.”

“Now ya’ll are startin ta sound like, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack playfully glared at me.

“Perish the thought,” I replied while looking towards one of my windows. I could see the moon beginning to set off in the distance as the marks of night were beginning to end. “Earlier than I thought… that why your awake?”

“That and ah thought ah’d treat ya to some Apple family cookin,” Applejack smiled as she gave me a peck on the cheek. “And ya’ll better get used to it too.”

“If its anything like Spike’s cooking, then I’m all for it,” I smiled, deciding to get out of the bed anyways. The sun was going to rise in another hour at least anyways. “For someone so young, he’s one hell of a cook.”

“Ah’ll have tah remember that,” Applejack smirked as she stood up with me. “Ya’ll got work today?”

“Nope,” I replied taking a good stretch. “Aloe and Lotus said they were closing up shop today for the big storm today. Why you’re having such a large storm in the summer though, I can only guess.”

“Somethin’ bout a quota, by what Dash was tellin me,” Applejack replied as she made her way out of the room while I followed close behind. “Since ya’ll aint workin today, ya’ll mind helpin some of us in the town prepare fer the storm? Got to get some loss things takin care of and we could always use the help.”

“Sure, no problem,” I replied with a shrug as we made it downstairs and went towards the kitchen. “Might be a good chance for me to work on my magic too.”

“As long as ya know what yer doin,” Applejack replied as she headed towards my fridge. “We gotta take care of some spots by the library today, so maybe we could ask fer Twi’s help too?”

“I don’t see why not,” I shrugged, reaching for one of the apples the farmer pulled from my fridge.

“Oh, no ya don’t,” Applejack snapped, slapping my reaching hand away with a free hoof. “Ah’m using these fer breakfast, so ya’ll can just go sit down and wait. Better yet, go take a bath, yah smell a bit.”

“Last one, right AJ?” I asked while lifting my branch cutter up to its target. Thanks to working with both Twilight and Luna, I now had a good enough grasp on my magic and mental power to create small, yet simple objects that I could use. The branch cutter being one of them and cutting a lot of the work in half.

It made me glade that no one on this planet know who the Green Lantern was.

I don’t need that kind of humiliation.

“Yep,” Applejack replied around the rope in her mouth. After cutting through most of the branch, the mare gave a hardy tug, pulling the branch down. “Didn’t think we’d get that one before the storm hit.”

“Hmm. Hah! Perfect,” a familiar pony called out from somewhere behind us. Allowing my branch cutter to dissipate in the wind, I turned to look at the local fashionista. The mare currently finishing up another, “work of art” as she called it.

“Just take the broken limbs down, Rarity,” Applejack sighed before clearing her mouth with a quick spit. “Don’t ya’ll care about nothin’ other than prettifyin’?”

“Somepony has to,” Rarity replied, looking slightly insulted. “You two were making an absolute mess of the town square.”

“Hey, it was one trash can and it was on accident,” I replied with a frown, directing my own glare at the mare.

“Yeah, well, the storm’s gonna make an even bigger mess if we don’t prune all these loose branches so they don’t tumble down on anypony,” Applejack explained with an unamused expression.

“I simply cannot imagine why the Pegasus ponies would schedule a dreadful downpour this evening and ruin what could have been a glorious sunny day,” Rarity faintly whined, the wind starting to pick up. “Did they miss another sprinkle?”

“I bet Rainbow Dash slept through it again,” I chuckled to myself, moving over and creating a pair of large hedge trimmers. Before the fashionista could stop me, I made short work of the branches she was working with and put them in a safe place with magic.

“Hey, I worked hard on that,” Rarity whined as her eyes slightly watered.

“Thank ya, Chris,” Applejack nodded to me and earning a frown from Rarity.

“And here I thought you would have liked a little class in your day,” Rarity grumbled to the mare as the first drops of rain began to fall. “Oh no! My wonderfully styled mane shale be ruined!”

“Yah should’ve finished the job already,” Applejack chastised as I began to snicker, watching the mare try to hide from the increasing rainfall and wind.

“Oh! Ah! Oh! Ph! It’s coming down too fast!” Rarity called out as she tried in vain to get out of the rain. “Ah! Oh! Oh! Ah! Help me!”

“Uh, there,” Applejack directed, pointing towards a nearby bench. “Hunker down to yer hearts content whilst we finish things.”

“Three bits says she won’t do it,” I quickly offered before the white mare screamed out.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Rarity denied, her eyes locked on the mud under the bench.

“Ah aint takin that bet,” Applejack replied to me before looking over at Rarity as the storm continued to grow. “And what is it now?”

“I prefer not to get my hooves muddy,” Rarity replied, turning her nose up into the air.

“Guh. There is just no pleasin’ ya, is there?” Applejack groaned as she looked back at me. “Y’all got anythin?”

“A wet set of clothing,” I shrugged, pointing at my simple black shirt and blue pants.

“Which is a travesty!” Rarity snorted, ignoring the surrounding rain for a moment. “I did not make those to be worn in the rain and muddying my hooves serves no purpose here.”

“Ya’ll wouldn’t know useful if it came up and bit yah in the flank,” Applejack almost growled.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Rarity replied with her own growl.

“Does so,” Applejack replied.

“Does not,” Rarity replied, taking a step forward.

“Does so,” Applejack replied as the two continued to bicker between themselves as they stepped close enough to press their faces together.

“It would be great if you two just kissed now,” I blurted out with a smirk.

“Pervert,” Rarity snapped as Applejack just glared at me.

“What? You two aren’t the only two here that are wet and irritable right now,” I groaned out. “And I’ve literally had sex with both of you, so I can think what I want.”

“Then maybe somepony should stop before they say something they regret,” Applejack replied looking back at Rarity.

“On the contrary, I believe it shall most certainly be you, who says something you will regret first,” Rarity replied, glaring at Applejack.

“I’m not sayin’ anything’,” Applejack replied.

“Nor am I,” Rarity countered.

“Am I still a part of this?” I asked, finding myself being ignored now.

“Y’all just be on yer way, then,” Applejack offered, pointing Rarity towards a random direction.

“After you!” Rarity countered instead.

“Now I remember what’s going on,” I said to myself, covering my ears just in time to block out the loud crack of thunder that immediately followed.

“Perhaps we should stick together for now and find some shelter,” Rarity mildly stuttered as she and Applejack grabbed one another after the crack.

“Uh-huh,” Applejack nodded. “Perhaps we should, and fast.”

“And que the intro!” I chuckled out pointing towards the library with both hands and a turn, earning confused looks from the other two.

“I’ll tell you another time,” I replied, watching as Applejack began to crawl under the bench, accumulating a bit of mud.

“Oh! Unacceptable,” Rarity groaned as it looked as if she were weighing her options.

“Don’t you live a few blocks away?” I asked, mostly to myself. If Rarity had left back when she first began to complain, she’d have been home already.

“Applejack! Rarity! Chris!” I heard Twilight’s voice call out from behind us.

“Twilight?” Rarity and Applejack asked together, turning to look at the library that was only a few feet away.

“Hi Twilight, is Spike home?” I called out to the mare.

“Yes, he is, now get in here before you all catch a cold,” Twilight called back as she stood at the library’s entrance.

“Whoa, nelly,” Applejack commented as she crawled out and led the charge to the library. “Is inside a tree really the best place to be in a lightning storm?”

“It is if you have a magical lightning rod protecting your home like I do,” Twilight replied as she moved to the side to allow us inside. “Come on in!”

“Thanks Twilight,” I replied as the other two also shared their thanks.

“Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won’t you?” Rarity said pointing down to the mud Applejack was about to track in.

“If I gotta spend one more…” Applejack began, falling silent when I picked the muddy mare up.

“Mind if we use your bathroom, Twilight? And some towels?” I asked the bookish mare, while Applejack blushed slightly in my arms. “I gotta get outta these cloths before I catch a cold myself.”

“Uh…sure?” Twilight said with a slightly confused smile.

“Let’s go apple butt!” I chuckled caring the mare up to Twilight’s bathroom.

“Y’all know ya like it,” Applejack giggled back.

“No funny business in my bathroom!” Twilight called after us.

“Thanks for drying my cloths Spike,” I told the small dragon as I watched him prepare some snacks for everyone.

“No problem, Chris, what are friends for?” Spike replied as he pulled out a large tray of baked goods out of the stove.

After helping Applejack get cleaned off, which only involved some mild heavy petting, the two of us came down to find Twilight gushing about having us all stay over for a sleepover. She was so excited about it that she completely missed the fact that I was in nothing but a towel. Although, Rarity did and the mare wouldn’t look away until Spike showed up with my dry cloths.

“Being awesome,” I replied to the drake, snagging a chip from the bowl in front of me and chowing down. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Canterlot?”

“I got done early and Princess Celestia sent me back with magic,” Spike replied with a shrug. “She kept looking at a scroll with a scowl, so I guess she was a little distracted.”

“Hope it’s nothing bad,” I commented, slightly concerned.

“She wouldn’t let me look at it, so I don’t know,” Spike replied with a frown. “You mind helping me take these out to the others?”

“Sure,” I replied, picking up the rest of the snacks in my magic and following the drake out into the main library.

“Chow time!” I called out as the two of us placed the food on the main table.

“Now that’s what ah’m talkin’ about,” Applejack smiled as she moved first to grab something. Rarity simply glared at the mare while Twilight was still reading over her sleepover book.

“Good, now that the snacks are here, we can begin with the next part,” Twilight chirped a moment later.

“And what would that be Twilight?” Spike asked as he took a seat beside me on a couch that had been pulled out of nowhere apparently.

“Party games!” Twilight cheered as she snapped her book closed. “I was thinking we could start with…”

“Why don’t we play spin the bottle?” Rarity asked with a devious smirk. “We have enough ponies here and I have a few good ideas.”

“Rarity has ideas! Quick, someone grab a fire extinguisher!” I cackled out, earning a glare from the mentioned mare. “I’m up for it; Truth and Dare version, right?”

“I’ve never heard of this game,” Spike added innocently.

“I’m game then too,” Applejack replied, looking over at the fashionista with her own challenging glare. “Ah aint fraid oh nothin’.”

“I was actually hoping to play Pictionary, but if thats what you all want to play,” Twilight relented as an empty glass bottle appeared in her magic, a slight frown on her face. “So… what do we do?”

“Simple,” I said, snatching the bottle out of the air. “First, we all sit together in a circle, evenly spaced.”

With that, I quickly stood up and pushed the couch out of the way, making a space for everyone to sit. First was me with Spike to my left and Applejack to my right. Rarity sat next to Spike while Twilight was beside Applejack.

“Next, we place the bottle on the ground on its side and spin it,” I explained, doing the actions as I spoke. “Whoever it lands on, I’ll ask “Truth or Dare”.”

“And from there, its self-explanatory dear,” Rarity added as the bottle began to slow down. A few moments later, the bottle stopped, pointing at the fashionista.

“Here we go then,” I smirked, looking at Rarity. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth, dear,” Rarity replied with a smile. “I have nothing to hide.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, smirking towards the mare. “Do you have mane extensions?”

“W-wha, wha, WHAT?!” Rarity chirped out in a shock, staring at me like I just burned her house down with a smile. “W-why w-would you even think that?!”

“Just answer the question, Rarity,” Applejack smirked. “Y’all got nothin’ ta hide, right?”

“Huff, fine then,” Rarity grumbled, looking at me with a scowl before answering under her breath. “Yes… I do.”

“Alright then,” I smirked. “Your turn.”

“I’ll get you for that one, Christopher,” Rarity glared as she smacked the bottle with a hoof, sending it spinning. We all watched it spin rapidly before slowing down and pointing at Twilight.

“Oh, this is going to be good,” Rarity smirked deviously as she looked at the slightly worried mare. “Truth or dare, darling?”

“Uh… I don’t know,” Twilight stuttered, looking uncertain. “D-dare?”

“Very well… I dare you,” Rarity began, leaning forward with a smile. “to spend the rest of night without looking in a single book.”

“What!?” Twilight shrieked, a look of pure horror on her face as I held a hand to my slightly pained ears.

“Them the rules Twilight,” Applejack giggled as the rest of us chuckled together. “Y’all aint gonna break the rules now, right?”

“N-no… but my books,” Twilight pouted cutely, her ears folding downward.

“Try not to think about it, Twilight,” Spike offered with a smile. “It’s your turn now.”

“This isn’t very fun,” Twilight huffed as she spun the bottle using her magic. It continued its spin until it landed on me.

“Dare,” I automatically blurted out, honestly wanting to see what the mare would have me do.

“Okay… um, what to have you do?” Twilight spoke to herself for a few moments before a devious smirk appeared. “I dare you to spend the rest of the night in nothing but your underwear.”

“Whoa, looks like someone’s taking after their mother,” I blurted out in shock, chuckling uncomfortably as my eyes drifted to Spike. “But let’s keep this PG- 13 okay?”

“PG what?” Twilight asked as she and all the others stared at me in confusion.

“Well, y’all heard the mare,” Applejack voiced after a few moments of silence. “If ya’ll are worried about doin somthin inappropriate, you should remember that everypony else don’t even wear cloths to begin with, so this shouldn’t be bad fer Spike.”

“Damn,” I sighed while standing up and beginning to disrobe once again. “I’m counting on you to help keep the testosterone in this circle Spike.”

“Uh… what?” Spike blankly replied, staring at me as I sat back down in nothing but a pair of underpants. “Taste… pasta what?”

“Never mind…” I sighed, feeling my face light up slightly as I spun the bottle.

“Now we’re talkin’,” Applejack smirked as the bottle landed on her. “Give me yer best shot! Dare!”

“Alright… how about…”

“I think this should be the last one,” Twilight yawned before I could take my last turn. “It’s getting kind of late and most of us still need to get cleaned up.”

After playing for over an hour now, Applejack was in a pick dress and had makeup, Rarity was covered in mud and her mane had been completely destroyed. Spike was sitting uncomfortably on my shoulders as the result of a dare from Applejack, and Twilight was covered in flower.

“Just hurry and get it over with!” Rarity whined as she shuddered. “I can feel mud in places there shouldn’t be!”

“Give me a second…” I grumbled, still annoyed by the mare’s last question.

Flicking the bottle, I watched it spin. “All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel.”

“Not again…” Applejack sighed without her accent, the result of a prior dare as the bottle ended on her. “Alright, I’ll take one last dare then.”

“I dare you… to proclaim pears as your favorite food while I record it,” I smirked while grabbing my phone from my nearby pants.

“I’ll get you for this, just so you know,” Applejack huffed before taking a deep breath.

Following the beep of my phones recorder, Applejack completed the dare.

“Pears are my favorite food!” she growled out.

“Good enough,” I shrugged as I felt Spike begin to crawl down my shoulders, his scales dragging down my back slightly.

“Finally!” Rarity shriek before disappearing up the stairs, the sound of water running following almost just as fast.

“That was actually kind of fun,” Twilight giggled with a sheepish smile. After the first few dares, the mare stuck with mostly truth questions, the worst being if she was ever caught touching herself.

Rarity asked it.

Twilight didn’t understand what she meant by “touch herself”.

It was funny.

Until I remembered Spike was there.

“I hope you don’t mind sleeping down here on the couch Chris…” Twilight told me with a slightly guilty look. “My bed’s not that big and Rarity and Applejack are taking the extra one.”

“It’s no problem, Twilight,” I replied as I watched Applejack undress and remove her make up. If it weren’t for the drowsy dragon standing next to me, I would have found it arousing.

“Do you mind if I stay down here with you Chris?” Spike asked while wiping at his tired eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” I replied, standing up. “Time to sleep little dude.”

“Night Twilight, night Applejack,” Spike yawned, pulling a large basket out from behind the couch.

Little guy planned this out from the beginning.

“Night Spike, night Chris,” the two replied before heading upstairs.

“So, where are the spare blankets?” I asked while watching Spike fluff the pillow in his basket.

“Back closet,” Spike replied, pointing the door out. A few minutes later, I had the couch set up for me to sleep somewhat comfortably as it was just slightly too small for me.

“Alright then…” I shrugged while turning out all the lights.

Once that was done, I laid down on the couch as Spike got into his basket.

“Night, Spike.”

“N-night, Chris,” the young drake replied as he culled up in his basket. A few minutes later, I fell to sleep.

“HOLY SHIT!” I shouted out sitting up, finding myself suddenly alone, the morning sunlight just barely immerging from a nearby window.

“Chris, are you okay?!” Spike shouted as he rushed into the room from the kitchen, a frilly pink apron wrapped around himself.

“W-what… huh?” I huffed out, looking around in a slightly confused panic. “Just… just a bad dream.”

“You can still have those?” Spike asked, scratching his head with a wooden spoon. “Didn’t you say the princess made it so you couldn’t?”

“Unless Luna wants me to,” I puffed out, wrapping myself up in the blanket instinctively. Even though I couldn’t remember it, something about the dream still lingered and made me feel jittery.

“Who the hay is yellin’ so early?” Applejack grumbled as she stepped down the stairs looking freshly showered and just about ready for the day. “Other ponies are still sleepin’.”

“Chris had a bad dream,” Spike replied before I could, looking worried.

“Probably from all those late-night snacks,” Applejack chuckled, giving me a devious smirk. “Ya’ll don’t wanna regain all that weight yah lost now, do yah?”

“I will have a six pack! This I swear!” I blurted out, revealing my naked upper body. While I had lost a good amount of fat and gained muscle, I still hadn’t achieved my goal of a six pack.

“Why ya’ll still in nothin’ but yer britches?” Applejack questioned with a raised brow.

“Meh,” I shrugged as the mare walked over to a staring Spike.

“Need some help in the kitchen, Spike?” Applejack asked, looking towards Spike who gave a quick nod.

“So, Applejack, anything exciting happen last night?” I asked while getting up and retrieving my clothing.

“Sorry if our ruckus woke yah last night,” Applejack replied, adapting an apologetic look. “Me and Rarity got into it a bit again and ended up braking one oh Twi’s windows.”

“But it’s all better?” I asked as I finished buttoning my pants.

“Actually, yeah,” Applejack chuckled. “She may be a prissy fro fro pony, but ah can’t let that kinda stuff get ta me. We both live different lives, but we aint all that different in the end.”

“Friends through and through,” I replied with a smile. “Now let’s go see who can make better flap jacks.”

“Only one week left until the Gala,” I spoke to the room as I finished the last few entries for the form Luna had given me. “You’re obviously going to be there, but what about your sister?”

“Unfortunately, Luna has decided against it,” Celestia sighed as she took another bite of the cake in front of her. “Most nobles still fear her and tend to be either petitioning to have her locked up or have the monkey banished.”

“I’m not a monkey…” I groaned out as I leaned back in my chair. “And I bet they’re not actually afraid of her being Nightmare Moon as much as her being introduced to the court.”

“Oh, most defiantly,” Celestia chuckled around her food. “They think they’ve been whittling me down, but I’ve been at this game for a long time.”

“Nah,” I shook my head, looking over the forms one final time. “You ponies’ just don’t know how to work with fine print and loop holes. You bring a human politician or lawyer here and they’d have your whole system burning down within a week.”

“That’s something one the last humans said too,” Celestia sighed as she leaned back on the couch. “Are you done with it yet? It’s getting late and I need my beauty sleep.”

“Oh yeah, it’s doing wonders by the way,” I couldn’t help but reply sarcastically. Yes, by pony standards, Celestia was the hottest thing alive and was the thing that made colts go into an early puberty. But I didn’t need to tell her that. “Maybe you should add a few hours to that schedule. You might actually get someone then.”

“I’ll have you know that I have daily suitors lining up at the castle consistently,” Celestia pointed out as her horn began to glow. Instead of crushing my head, all she did was take the forms in her magic and float them over to herself.

“And yet you’re still single,” I pointed out.

“I’ve just yet to find somepony that I find to be a good partner,” Celestia replied as she looked over the forms with a slightly blank look. “I don’t need a partner that grovels at my hooves or one that would use the position for their own gain.”

“I’m sure there’s one out there,” I honestly replied. “Then when you find them, you make little itty bitty alicorn foals.”

“Hopefully one day,” Celestia smiled as she stared at the forms in front of her. For the next few minutes, the both of us sat in silence with me staring at Celestia and her staring at the forms in front of her with a slightly blank look.

“Celestia, you okay?” I asked, causing the mare to jump slightly.

“O-oh, sorry,” the mare replied as the forms suddenly disappeared in a flash of light. “Got a little lost for a moment.”

“As all of my friends and family used to say to me,” I began, adapting a slight smirk. “You need to get laid.”

“Pervert,” Celestia replied with a frown as she went back to eating her cake in a huff.

“Just telling you how it is,” I shrugged, enjoying the little back and forth. “But everything on the forms were correct, right?”

“Yes, everything looked to be in order,” Celestia replied as she began to lay down fully on the couch she was on.

“What are you…” I began to asked before a knocking at my front door drew my attention.

“I’ll be right back,” I told the princess as I stood up made my way to the front door.

Upon opening it, I was actually surprised at who I found waiting for me.

“Mr. Rich and Diamond Tiara? What are you doing here?” I asked the two in surprise. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Good evening Mr. Christopher,” Diamond greeted with a small bow of her head.

“Good evening Christopher,” Mr. Rich nodded. “I actually came here to talk to you about the incident with my daughter’s cutecinera.”

“Daddy!” Diamond groaned in a huff.

“I know sweetie, just let me finish,” Mr. Rich told his daughter before turning back to me. “I wanted to both thank you for making sure my daughter made it home safely and apologize for any inconvenience that may have caused you.”

“O-oh…” was all I could say in a reply. I was honestly not expecting this, especially with it having been a while since the party.

“I recently got back from a business trip and found that my wife had okayed her party before my return,” Mr. Rich explained, sounding disappointed. “I was appalled to find that not only had the party occurred without me to begin with, but that my wife didn’t even bother to show up.”

“Daddy!” Diamond whined with an embarrassed glow noticeable in the new night light.

“Either way, thank you once again and sorry for any inconveniences,” Mr. Rich repeated before he turned and looked down at his daughter. “What do we say Diamond?”

“T-thank you,” Diamond Tiara answered as she looked down at the ground.

“U-uh… yeah… sure,” I replied, still in shock.

“Well then, we need to be going. It is getting past a little filly’s bed time after all,” Mr. Rich chuckled, looking down at his daughter.

“Daddy!” Diamond squeaked, her pink face turning a scarlet red. “I’m not a filly anymore! I got my cutie mark!”

“Oh, that’s right,” Mr. Rich chuckled as he turned and began to leave with Diamond following him instinctively.

I continued to watch the two of the them retreat into the streets, unable to comprehend what just happened.

“I guess… that happened,” I mumbled to myself while closing the door carefully. Making my way back to the living room, I found a sleeping pony princess on my couch.

“That’s cute,” I couldn’t help but say. Celestia was curled up against the back of the couch, taking up all the cushions due to her size.

Taking a moment to look, I noticed that she actually had some pretty heavy bags under her eyes and looked slightly stressed.

“I’m sure Luna will keep things calm,” I quietly told myself while grabbing the blanket I kept draped over the back of the couch and placed it over my shoulder.

Working carefully, I removed Celestia’s regalia and placed them on the coffee table. I couldn’t help but marvel at how soft her coat felt, finding it softer than Rarity’s and smoother than Fluttershy’s.

“How you are still single must be one of the great wonders of the world,” I quietly said as I covered the large mare in the blanket. Once that was done, I decided to just nap in my chair incase either Celestia woke up or someone came home.

“I wonder what adventure happens next,” I quietly hummed before falling into a dreamless sleep.

Author's Notes:

Behold the next chapter in all its WTF'ness

Like all the times before, go ahead and quote that chapter. There may be very few people answering them, but I'm sure its getting a laugh or two.
If you have any of your own, I say don't be afraid to post it for the masses... as small a group as it may be.
Or you can pm me one and I may use it as a chapter title if it fits.