“So, ask me again why we’re doing this?” Lightning had asked her sister, finding themselves both hiding in the bushes outside of one of Ponyville’s cafes. It had been a few days since Emily’s reveal and her story, and for the most part, everything had been quiet. No monster attacks, nothing. So, life went on as normal. Mostly. There was this sense that everyone was on edge, that Thrax was planning something big but nobody knew quite what it was.

“Well, it's the first time in ages that Sunset and Robert have actually sat down to talk with each other,” Vapor said with a little squee in her tone. “So I thought…”

Lightning only just barely suppressed a groan.

“This is you and your shipper on deck for those two popping up again isn’t it?” Lightning sighed to herself, rubbing her forehead. There were so many other things she could be doing with her time right about now. None of which involved two idiots acting out the plot to a bad romance novel.

“Maybe a little, I want to see if they finally stop beating around the bush and stop acting like a pair of idjits,” Vapor replied. “Maybe I can then help you and Rainbow pull your heads out of your asses, and-”

“Don’t even go there. Just don’t,” Lightning stated in a warning tone.

“Don’t think I haven’t seen you eying her in those tight black shorts and that sports bra whenever your two are in the gym together,” Vapor teased. “You just want to take her and shove yourselves in some closet somewhere.”

“...I swear, sometimes I wonder how I put up with you…” Lightning muttered to herself, before shaking her head. “Face it Vaps, some couples aren’t just meant to be. Me and Rainbow, or Robert and Sunset.”

Vapor gave her a look like she’d just committed a sin of blasphemy before shushing her, and shoving her head back down into the shrubbery when Robert tossed an odd look towards their direction.

“Something wrong, Robert?” Sunset asked, who looked as if she hadn’t slept in a week, given the bags under her eyes.

“Nothing, just thought I heard… something. Might have been just my imagination playing tricks on me,” he muttered pulling up a chair and shaking his head before he got his first good look at Sunset. “Er… I don’t quite know how to phrase this delicately, so I’ll just come right out. You look like shit.”

“Blame Pinkie,” Sunset muttered, thumping her head on the cafe table. She wasn’t even denying Robert’s claim. “Discovered this new instrument, most horrible sound you’ve ever heard.”

“Is it bagpipes? Because trust me, those are pretty bad.”

“No, worse.” Sunset groaned out.

“A Vuvuzela?” Robert guessed. “Because I heard what a bunch of them sounded like when I was watching the World Cup once, back in 2010 I think. Like a million, trillion angry swarming African honey bees.”

“Even worse than that,” Sunset groaned out leaving Robert blinking in surprise. “Something from Yakyakistan, something that could have only been forged in the nine circles of Hell itself.”

“How can something be worse than a bunch of Vuvu-”

Then, he got his answer. A cacophony of sound breached his eardrums, sounding like the most hellish noise possibly imagined, but only a million times worse.

“JESUS FUCKIN’ CHRIST ON A BIKE!” Robert shouted as everyone scattered or covered their ears. Not that it made much difference. “THE BLOODY HELL!?!”

As quickly as it came, the noise died down. Sunset sighed.

“Meet… the yovidaphone,” Sunset groaned out, her ears bleeding a little. “That would be the source of mine, and about everyone else’s woes. Nobody’s been able to get anything useful done since yesterday, even since Pinkie discovered that damned thing.”

“Have you tried some B&E, getting into Sugarcube Corner and burning that damned thing (Robert hated to call ‘it’ an instrument of any sort, that would imply it made music worth listening to) to the ground? Pass it off as some tragic accident, just some random and completely spontaneous combustion? Even if it’s some priceless artifact, I don’t think anybody would miss it.” Robert suggested.

“As amusing and tempting as the idea sounds,” Sunset groaned. “Then you’d have to deal with the aftermath.”

“What, the benefit of sleep?” Robert stated flatly.

“No, Pinkie going into this depressed state. Hair goes all limp, her coat colors dull and she becomes this… shadow of her former self. Not a pretty sight, trust me. Bit scary, actually.”

“Lovely. I think I’ll be investing in the idea of living on the Animarium again until you lot figure this out. I’m not getting caught up in this particular brand of insanity. This is between you, your friends, and Pinkie.”

With that, he took his leave, not even bothering to finish his drink.

“...Well, at least they shared a conversation. It was all one could really hope for… right?” Vapor sighed, hanging her head, with Lightning absentmindedly patting her on the back in sympathy. What nobody seemed to hear, probably due to a loss of hearing, was this loud screeching sound.

Sugarcube Corner

So, Sunset had decided to do the only honorable thing. Hold an ultimatum to Pinkie. It didn’t take long for the rest of her friends to agree, having had quite enough of this themselves. Twilight, in particular, had to be pulled away from talking down a bunch of townsponies from petitioning Pinkie to be exiled from the town.

“Listen, Pinks, we need to talk,” Rainbow said gently, as she and the rest of her friends approached the Party Pony, working behind the counter. The accursed instrument sat in a glass case behind her, as if it was something to be admired. Which was really far from the truth, to be frank.

“What about?” Pinkie asked, whipping around to face her as she placed some muffins on the counter.

“Eh, ‘Bout this new instrument of yours… I don’t know quite how to say it, so I’ll just come right out. GET RID OF IT!” Rainbow shouted, slamming her hands on the counter with an audible thud.

“But… But I like playing it…” Pinkie whispered to herself, her hair beginning to go flat. Applejack smacked Rainbow on the back of the head Gibbs style, and glared at her.

“Listen, whut Rainbow’s trying to say is… it’s causing a tad of a bit of a disturbance. So… uh, can ya at least get rid of it till you learn to play it right?”

“...There’s a right way to play it?” Rainbow muttered, before another glare from AJ shut her up.

“I suppose, but that’s sort of the thing, I can’t figure out how to play it right, there’s no manuals or anything for this thing.” Pinkie replied, hanging her head. “But, if it makes you feel happy, I’ll get rid of it.”

“No… No, Pinks,” Rainbow said, placing a reassuring hand on her best friend’s shoulder. “You don’t have to get rid of it. Surely there’s someone who knows how to play it, someone who can instruct you. I mean, the instrument’s from Yakistan, right? So, why not have Twilight here ask Prince Rutherford for a favor and ask him to send someone to teach you how?”

“Yes, yes, that could work…” Twilight mused, placing a finger on her chin and pacing back and forth in thought. “Would be a great boon to us all, aside from bolstering and mending some rather frankly fractured Yak/Pony relations it would-”

“Give us a bit of peace and quiet eventually?” Rarity asked. “I’m sorry Pinkie dear, but it’s been… difficult for me and Zephyr to get any work done on anything with that noise coming from here. Poor Opal, she’s been too scared stuff to come out of her closet, and yesterday she scratched poor Sweetie Belle when we tried to pry her out!”

“And my animals…” Fluttershy whispered, rubbing her forearms. “They’ve been scared into their dens, and the language they use when I try to convince them to come out, well… Oh my.” she blushed quite red, giving everyone a good idea of what said language probably involved.

“And Rara, y'all remember her right?” Applejack put in. “Yesterday, she came over to ta farm fer some peace an’ quiet to work on her new album, amongst a few other things,” Applejack continued, with a deeply reddening blush on her face leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind what those ‘other things’ were. “And she couldn’t record jack-squat because of the noise!”

“That bad, huh?” Pinkie whispered sadly. “...Guess that sorta explains why Sugarcube Corner’s been at an all time low customer-wise.”

That much was true, the normally packed sweets shop was as unusually empty as a ghost town. Not a single customer to be found, and ponies were actually averting the shop whenever they passed it. Octavia, in particular, gave Pinkie a really dirty look when she caught eye of the yovidaphone in it’s glass case.

“Ooh…” Pinkie winced as she sucked in a breath upon seeing that. “Poor Octy, can’t imagine my terrible playing is conductive to her and Vinyl’s collab work either.”

“Yeah, Vinyl did sorta give ya this rude gesture the other day,” Applejack admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. “Too polite ta mention it to ya at the time, figurin’ you’d get better with the uh… vodafone Ah think it’s called?”

“Yovidaphone,” Twilight corrected, before giving a sympathetic glance towards AJ and patting her on the back. “Trust me, not easy to pronounce for me either. Took me a few hours to learn the correct phrasing. Points for trying though I suppose.”

“Question dearie?” Rarity asked. “How long do you think it’ll take before this yak instructor, presuming you can get ahold of one, arrives here?”

“Eh, given the tenuous relationship between Yaks and Ponies, and the fact that they’re on the other side of the world… Er, a week if we’re lucky.” Twilight replied, bracing herself for the inevitable incoming reaction.

Rarity whimpered faintly, and fainted onto a nearby couch that Sunset quickly teleported in from her home. “I’ll get her a bucket of ice cream for when she wakes up, might ease her nerves.” Sunset sighed, before walking off towards Sugarcube Corner’s storeroom.

“Wonderful…” Rainbow muttered, thinking of investing in some earbuds. Probably wouldn’t do her much good, but it didn’t hurt to try. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll be in Cloudsdale. Far, far away from here. Might stay with my parents. Been meaning to drop by and say hello anyways.”

Before Rainbow could even think of walking out the door, another loud shrieking sound cut through the air, and a massive winged form rocketed overhead, ripping the tops of buildings off with shingles flying everywhere as it generated massive downforce with the wing flaps. Ponies scattered, and screams filled the air as this massive avian form momentarily blotted out the midday sun.

“Er… Twilight, what’s that?” Rainbow asked nervously, not really sure if she wanted to know the actual answer.

Twilight’s eyes widened, and she let out a small simple squeak of: “Roc.”

“Now remind me, what in Celestia’s name is a Roc doing here!?!” Applejack shouted, as she ran off to get her family to cover. “Ah swore they lived high up in the mountains, only comin’ down ta feast upon dead dragons of great age!”

“I don’t know, okay?” Twilight shouted. “But you can sure as Tartarus bet I’ll find out!” she shouted, as she ran towards the Golden Oaks Library.

Rapidly pulling every book out she could find, and flipping through pages faster than the eye could see, with Pinkie and Sunset looking over her shoulder, Twilight frantically looked for any answer she could find.

“Shoo, shoo!” Twilight shouted, glaring at them both, and the two ponies took a step back from the little glare Twilight gave them even as she continued flipping through multiple books in search of an answer. Another loud, nearly deafening shriek echoed in the background.

“Just take your time Twilight,” the Princess of Friendship murmured to herself. “Just take your time…”

“Right, while you go ahead and do that,” Sunset muttered. “Me, I’ve got ponies to save. Legendary Wild Access, hah!” she shouted, and morphed into the Gold Phoenix Ranger and called the Falcon Summoner to her hands.

As soon as she ran outside, she pulled back the bow, and fired a red energy orb skywards. The Roc’s eyes flicked to watch it, before a loud falcon’s call echoed somewhere high above him in the clouds.

“Now, odds are a bit even…” Sunset muttered before she fired energy blast after energy blast at the Roc’s torso.

Of course, there was that thing called tempting fate, as Thrax’s wand hit the Roc, mutating it into an even more massive size than should have been possible, and it fired a blast of green energy at the oncoming Falcon Zord making it screech out in pain. Seemed whenever Thrax saw a possible opportunity, he took it.

“Well, gotta give him props for that I suppose…” Sunset thought to herself as she ran through the streets to avoid the blasts.

Back inside, Twilight had finally found an answer. Mind you, it wasn’t one she would have liked.

“Oh boy.” she muttered.

“Is that a good oh boy, or a bad oh boy?” Pinkie asked nervously.

“Seems Roc’s mating calls, they sound quite like a badly played yovidaphone…” Twilight swallowed nervously. “Don’t ask me why they sound like that, but they do.”

“You… you mean, I brought this Roc here?” Pinkie squeaked out nervously, tears filling her eyes at the possibility of this being all her fault.

“It’s okay Pinks, you couldn’t have possibly known…” Twilight said comfortingly before she whipped out her Banana Lockseed, and slammed it in her own driver and flicked it open. “Henshin!”

“Come on! Banana Arms: Knight of Spe~ar!”

“But I should have known!” Pinkie shouted, shaking Twilight by the shoulders, before she spotted a blank Sengoku Driver on one of the desks nearby along with a Lockseed themed after a Melon. Her eyes filling with a new determination, Pinkie grabbed it.

“Twilight, I need to borrow this. Can I be a Kamen Rider like you? Just this once, to fix my mistake?”

“Well, in theory, this Driver was meant to be used by anyone, so…” Twilight trailed off, and Pinkie nodded. But before she could slam the belt onto her waist, an explosion from somewhere nearby sent Pinkie flying up against a bookshelf and knocked her out.

“Okay, so I guess it’s just up to me…” Twilight thought. “Now, how did AJ do it? Oh yeah, I remember!”

Ripping the little faceplate off of the Sengoku Driver, she slammed a translucent orange Lockseed, marked with a little flame and reading ‘E.L.S. -07’, into the empty slot making the driver call out: “Mix! Banana Arms: Knight of Spe~ar! Jimber Dragon Fruit! Ha-Ha!”

She was granted a long tattered red cape, and shoulder pads, with her Banaspear being replaced by one of the Sonic Arrows she’d seen the Applejack from Wyatt’s world use.

“Time to get to work,” she said. “It’s not easy to make your ideals come true, but I will defend this world.”

Rushing outside, to see Sunset atop a rooftop firing energy arrows at the now mutated Roc, while the Falcon Zord and the Roc went talon to talon, Twilight began firing energy arrows at the creature as well.

“Don’t bother Twilight,” Sunset told her. “Regular Sonic Arrow blasts might have worked on it before, but now that Thrax’s got his hands on that thing…”

“Well, just have to up the ante right? Piece of cake.” Twilight asked, taking her Dragon Fruits Lockseed and placing it in the Sonic Arrow, before drawing back the bowstrings to their fullest length.

“Banana Jimber Dragon Au Lait!” the Sonic Arrow sounded off, before a row of Banana and Dragon Fruit slices appeared in front of Twilight, and she fired sending a crimson Asian dragon towards the Roc, who screeched out in pain and flapped his wings, a few feathers falling from them. He was bleeding from the shot Twilight had taken, along with Sunset’s own and the Falcon Zord’s talons ripping into him before it, but far from dead.

The Falcon went head to head with the Roc over the skies of Ponyville, the Falcon going in for divebombs to rake the Roc’s back and rip it open, but every time he tried to do so, the Roc would go into a spin and unleash a stream of green energy that the Falcon would only barely dodge.

“Oh, so that’s how it is eh?” the Falcon commented. “You want to see who’s King of the Skies?”

He screeched out a challenge, and flew off towards the direction of the Hundred Mile Wilderness knowing that the Roc wouldn’t be able to resist and this way, neither of them would hit Cloudsdale or any pegasi.

He rocketed over the Everfree, with the massive wing flaps from both him and the Roc -Who was firing blast after blast- ripping up trees like a hurricane’s gales. Whispering apologies to the Zebra he knew lived below just in case he smashed her hut as well, the Falcon went on the offensive. Now, like the real animal he was based on, his tactics were based off of pure speed. Zip, zigzag, dart and divebomb the Roc, who had pure power on his side. One false move, one mistake too many, and he’d be killed and his wings probably ripped from their sockets.

Flying upwards in a looping formation, the Falcon Zord tucked in his wings and in a lightning-fast maneuver that any pegasi or griffon worth his or her salt would have been proud of, raked his gold talons across the Roc’s back once more.

The Roc screeched out in pain as the Falcon flew off, smirking to himself. But that smirk was not to last and was soon to be wiped off the Zord’s face, The Roc flapped his wings, and unleashed hurricane torrent winds at him, catching him in a tornado before the Falcon Zord was sent crashing into the ground via an energy blast. He began gouging a massive gorge outside the boundaries of the Everfree Forest as he ripped and tore into the ground, earth flying everywhere.

The Roc swooped above, and flapped it’s stone gray wings with a devious smile cast upon his beak, as if to say “How do you like me now?” It’s throat glowed a bright green like before, before the beak opened. The Falcon shut his eyes, and braced for death, but it never came as the Roc was besieged by a volley of arrows from both the Sonic Arrow and the Falcon Summoner.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Sunset shouted, drawing back her bow and shouting: “Falcon Break!” unleashing a gold beam of energy that ripped right through the Roc, who screeched out in pain nearly shattering ear-drums.

The Falcon, he was slowly digging himself out of the gorge with his talons, and soon, slowly but surely caught rising updrafts from a nearby forming thunderstorm and took to the skies once more, vanishing into the clouds.

The Roc’s eyes darted from right to left, but soon the Falcon reemerged from the storm, wings coated in electricity, and again and again, dive-bombed the Roc at blinding speed, ripping into him with the talons, and shocking him with the lightning bolts covering his wings.

The Falcon, he eventually appeared, the sun covering his wings and making them glisten with an ethereal, holy light. His green eyes narrowed, and he smirked once more. “Now you know why I’ve held my title of King of the Skies for over 6,000 years. You, you are just an insignificant little fledgling, barely hatched from his egg compared to me. Now, do us all a favor, and die.”

Sunset and Twilight teleported atop him, and drew back their bows for one final combined strike to finish things.

“Falcon Break!/“Banana Jimber Dragon Au Lait!” they shouted in unison, before firing. An Asian dragon’s head, and a falcon’s beak -both made of crimson red energy- both bit down on the Roc, and with both of his wings clipped, he fell to the ground and with a mighty earth-shattering thud, created a massive spider web style crater that could be seen for miles before he finally went up in a blazing towering inferno.

“See…?” Twilight panted out. “What’d I say? Piece of… cake.” she said, before fainting with a thud atop the Falcon Zord’s head feathers. Eventually, an actual yovidaphone tutor was to arrive via airship and eventually everything went back to normal. Well, as normal as Ponyville could get anyways. The air was actually filled with pleasurable music, and Pinkie? Well, she had a letter to write.

“Dear Princess Celestia.

Today I’ve learned something very valuable. Just because you think you can do something all on your own, doesn’t mean you can. Always, and I mean Always with a capital A accept help when it’s offered. Especially when it comes to learning instruments that if played wrong, become mating calls for massive predatory birds. So um… whoops. Big whoops. But everything’s alright now, with Robert only wondering why Ponyville has a massive crater outside.

Yours sincerely, Pinkamena Diane Pie.”

Author's Notes:

Okay, been waiting to bust out the Roc ever since I saw Molt Down, but never figured out how to get it into the story, or why it would arrive early. But then I saw Yaxity-Sax, and as Rarity would say... Idea! I mean, who's to say that bad playing couldn't come across as a mating call? shrugs

Anyways, huge thanks to the Stratovarian for providing information on how Falcons and Rocs would fight in real life, and how this battle would go down. Almost contacted Calm Wind via Strat's advice, but I figured the poor guy has enough on his plate as it is, given he always seems to be doing something so I didn't want to overwork him.

Comments, thoughts, and constructive critique are welcomed as always.