It started off like a normal day, you know: you wake up, brush your teeth, comb the hair, go to school/work.
Stuff like that. But, for me, it was summer vaction. The much needed time off from school, and you have things planned, and other things you've wanted to do. But, one person: you know as Robert Parker, was doing somthing different as expected. You see, he got addicted to the show: My little pony: friendship is magic.

(friendship is FAKE)

You see, he was planning on seeing a few episodes online, and putting it on a playlist from youtube. The perfect plan, and he knew just how to do it. He already had a account, and all. But, finding the right episode was the problem. Not only that, but half of both seasons were un-watchable. Not that he felt sorry, but it was just that the funeral massacre was haunting enough. Thankfully, Jeff the killer was nowhere to be found, and The entire cast had to be redone thanks to his murder spree. What he still didn't get to this day was that the cops didn't fire a single shot at him. "Perhaps the donuts were spiked." he would always say. But today was different, he was going to forget that tragedy, and completely ignore the riot cops constantly chasing him through the streets.

When he got on Youtube, the main page was different. The backgrounds was blood red, and it had the words: KILL, KILL: All over it. Then after thirty seconds of nothing, a Zalgofied Pinkie came on the screen, and the MLP theme song was playing backwards.

"Nice try pinkie; i'm used to creepypasta." he taunted.

However, there was something odd about this, and it wasn't the weird music either. Something about the picture just... sucked him in almost, and... it felt weird like it was calling to him. But, Robert knew better. In a creepypasta, you act first when it begins acting funny, however, whoever made this Didn't have any brains for "it" never met the almighty Robert Parker!

Now, back to the weird pop-up. Robert looked into the picture for the first few minutes, expecting a screamer. (Not knowing that he would soon be screaming.) When it didn't come, he was on the verge on "X-ing"out the screen, when he began to feel strange. Like; Pinkie was stretching her hooves at him, and they were filthy. Most likely from terrible baking..

It was almost like the Pinkie was trying to drag him in. By that, i mean the "arms" were shifting on camera. The eyes were getting slowly redder, but not innocent in anyway, or he would have closed it already. When the arms got completely on camera, Robert began to feel drowsy, luckily, he had been reading the survival guide, and to come out kicking, he needed to defend himself in the best way possible. And he had a score to settle with pinkie..

---

Months earlier, The bet at SugarCube Corner

"I told you you couldn't beat me in strip poker!" taunted the lesbian baker.

"At least my balls are bigger!" fired back Robert. *Oops! wait! Wrong flashback...*

---

A Year Earlier, Robert's beating..

"And take that and that, you pink abomination!" Robert exclaimed as he yet again stomped Pinkie in the face.

"OK! OK! I give! Just stop already!" begged the money-less Pinkie Pie.

"And stay out of my universe! Your cupcakes taste awful!" he yelled after her, but she was suddenly gone!

"Where is she?..." he wondered as Pinkie slowly crept behind him, and reached into his back pocket to steal his golden wallet he'd gotten from a raid in the Assassin's Creed universe.

"tehehheh! He'll never see it coming!" she whispered, and quietly trotted off to her universe..

---

Present time..

Well alright Pinkie, you want to pull me back in? You going to pay for it. So, before loading up in the kitchen; he grabbed a snack, and powered up to god-mode Sue. He then proceeded to chant his Mary Sue phrase:

"By all that's fare, By all that's bad, Let no fairness escape my sight! Let all that's cheating, meet the light, fear my pimp-hand, Mary Sue's MIGHT!" and with that chant, Robert hair exploded into blonde-goodness, and his muscles bulged with story un-fairness; not only that, the kitchen knifes turned into kitchen machetes! Now, he was prepared to face the pink menace. He went back to the computer screen and faced it, and braced for the worst. He began to fall asleep when his eyes met pinkie's eyes....

**

"Buwahahahaha! Robert will never see my master plan coming!" schemed the pink abomination.

"I have his accomplice in hand, and he'll come running."

"Not only that, he'll be totally dumbstruck with my sexy new look!" she finished as she looked into her blood-red mirror that Rarity's soul made for her.

She had all her friends, including Martin ,and Alan's souls as well; every person's soul from the funeral massacre, plus 52% of Ponyville's population from Trollestia's miss-fired solar beam, and even Princess Luna's soul for the fun of it. But, alas, she had grown tired of waiting. Robert was still not here at her bone castle, and his Mary Sue disorder wasn't helping.

"With that kind of power, he could be unstoppable!" she thought to herself. She didn't have much to talk about, because her tyrant reign over Equestrian forces was bad enough, her economic skills were even worse! "Come on, get here already!" the pink mistress thought again and again...

**

"Darn, what happened here!" exclaimed a dumbstruck Robert. Even with the Mary Sue power up, he'd hadn't gotten there in time.. But, what mattered was Pinkie's death, and the retrieval of his golden wallet. He sped on his cloud he'd stolen from Goku, and instantly reached there in a matter of seconds.

"Here, tell Goku that you OK, and to let cell win the tournament." he informed the stoned cloud as it took it's tip, and sped back to the dragon ball z universe. He easily destroyed the guards by flashing his underwear at them; then proceeding to the main gate.

"Alright pinkie, i don't care if your humanized, and have a sexy new look, you going to join those imprisoned souls, and i'm getting back my wallet!" he announced.

He walked through the front gate, and was immediately pointed at by five-hundred guns, and crossbows.

"Well, well? Looks like the super-sayan has arrived.." seduced Pinkie.

Robert wasn't surprised at all. Not only is pinkie trouble, but now she was sinister. (and still average..)

Pinkie was the one to speak again: " meanie mouth! You killed my friends!" she exclamied in her "normal voice".

Robert then responded: "You... i know your up to something, and i'll chop your boobies off if needed!" he said with confindence.

"Oh, Robert... always the negatives with you. But, now i've got you, and i will teach you a lesson on cruelty, a thing you've had a nick for since you turned thirteen!" she explained.

It was true. He was never a very happy person. Sure, a few chuckles wouldn't hurt, but he didn't like being happy much. He didn't have much to smile about, really....

"I do not give a damn.." he replied casually. But then, she flicked her wrist, and instantly they were both teleported out of the kingdom.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT US!?" yelled Martin's soul.
_________

She led Robert to the familiar SugarCube corner, but not for cupcakes. She wanted to show him something, the dark side of pony-ville. And, if you were in his shoes, you would think twice about throwing Gang signs at thug ponies.

When they arrived at a abondoned bar, she took him out back, and began talking to him.

"listen, i brought you here because i wanted to show you what happens here to mean, and cruel people like you."she said, and then directed him to a surprisingly clear window, and he looked through.

What he saw was shocking:

Inside was four, huge ponies, all gathered around a dark-looking pony with black hair. Apparently, the dark-haired pony did something to these giants, and they were ticked off and ready to strike. The dark-haired one had a blood-stained knife as a cutie mark, with that grin he knew all too well.. "Jeff.." he whispered.

What Robert didn't know was that the four ponies were reapers of the cruel, striking those who do wrong.
.

The four giant reapers/ponies advanced on Jeff, and one of them held him down by one of his hooves, and began to twist.

Robert saw the pain began to form on the poor pony's face, as the hoof got more twisted, and twisted until it finally came off, blood spurting as jeff screamed in total agony. The big pony did the same until both back hooves were bloddy stumps on jeff's backside. The bones, and tendons were visable, and liquids were oozing out, as well as blood... Pinkie only licked her lips in satisfaction.

The dark haired pony began to beg for mercy: "P-Please guys, i'm sorry! don't kill me!" he begged in agony. Very unlike him.

"Sorry mate, what's been started, has to finish." the first pony said, as he continuded to the front hooves.

Robert couldn't belive what he was seeing, and how fast it was all going down. He thought he was going to vomit, but it never came, only terror as he could only watch as jeff the pony was being mutilated by four giant reapers.

When the next one got to work on the front hooves, he took a HUGE axe blade, and came down hard with it on the Jeff's hoof. Robert COULD bare to hear the un-earthly scream that emitted from jeff's mouth. It sounded like a Nickelback concert, except they were booing. But, being the pimp he was, Robert was unaffected..

Pinkie instantly frowned. "Why is it not working on you?" she asked. "Because i don't give a damn.." he replied.

"Look, your wasting your time. I don't really care about this pale-ass pussy.." he sweared.

"B-But.. Not even a little?" the lesbian baker baffled. She hadn't expected him NOT to care. This was her only plan; if this failed, her soul wouldn't have a reason to exist!

Finally, after the reaper ponies had decapitated Jeff's poor self, and with Robert still not phased; she gave up.

"Just GO HOME, you win..." Pinkie admitted.

"Certainly, but before i go, give me-" Pinkie shoved the golden wallet back in Robert's hands before he got a chance to finish. He didn't say anything, he just flew off, back to the portal to earth. To Robert, his job was done. But to Pinkie, it meant So much more...

---

Three years ago, before the time of Robert..

It had always been a sunny day, Pinkie had always enjoyed baking on each glorious day, and the clouds were perfect for her transsexual friends: Rainbow. Pinkie was baking Her favorite dish for dash. Gay-bacon strips; since Rainbow was lesbian anyway.. She had enjoyed serving to everypony, and her six best friends.. Until that MONSTER showed up and killed them.
It had been enough for a human (Alan, and Martin) to come, but a another was too much.. He always dumped the school fillies' heads in the water, got the CMC in trouble, and even manged to kill diamond tiara's business.

Her father went broke and they had to move to a smelly apartment across from the abandoned farm. (since AppleJack was dead, and big mac WAS brain-dead.) Pinkie had SO much, and it was taken away from her. The souls broke out, even though they all landed back to Tartarus, (Martin, and Alan in particular.) and Pinkie had been easily over thrown by the now tyrant Celestia, and the deceased Princess luna.

---

Present time..

Ponyville was in a economic crisis, and she had nowhere else to go. The SugarCube Corner was gone, and her room was in ruins.. No wait,.. she saw something! A noose. Perhaps there WAS a way out of here. She untied it, and found a good street pole to hang to, and latched on. Before she jumped off to hang herself, she said these last final words to Robert in the sky:

"I Guess Friendship really is DEAD, eh Robert?" she said... And with those final words,... she jumped off and smiled for one last time...

*SNAP*

---

Robert's POV

The king of cruelty was finally home, and powered down. He landed in his front lawn, and casually walked inside. He didn't get anymore surprises, and the mane six, Martin FairBridges, Alan Washington, 52% of Ponyville, everypony else at the funeral, were all gone, and Lauren Faust announced that Friendship is magic is permanently canceled, and that the user:
The-darkevil101 was declared the best writer of all time. (OK, not really. didn't mean to kill the story.)

And, for the first time ever, Robert actually SLEPT well in days....