'To say that the planet Equis had some problems would be an understatement; it was, like any planet in this multiverse, riddled with problems. However the problems it faced were soon going to come to an end.

One such problem was the country of Equestria, it was ruled by two Alicorns, for all practical purposes demigods of power, with a lifespan of ten millennia they were practically immortal. Equestria had looming problems of their own but those paled in comparison to the problems they were causing the entire planet, I mean what is the looming extinction of one species when the whole planet is on its way out.

The stage was set, the dominos lined up and slowly falling down towards the end. Now I just needed to show my hand, place my pawn ahead of the reaction and he would solve all the problems. Zeus never said I couldn't have some other being interfere with the forces of chaos...

To be a touch dramatic, loyal audience member, the world was doomed.'

"But I just-"

"Hush! Now where was I? Right..."

'Outside the Equestrian borders, countries such as Saddle Arabia were facing sandstorms and droughts as their life giving Nile River shrank more and more every year. The Mountainous range that the Gryphon’s lived on faced storms of never before seen strength, powerful winds that ripped their trees from the slopes, allowing the torrential rain to create mudslides as the mountains increasingly eroded. Minotaria and the Badlands fared no better, Minotaria lay in the valley below the Gryphon’s mountains and as such were slowly losing ground as the waters from the mountain storms flooded their valley. The flood waters turning fields to swamps at an alarming rate. Changelings carved out a small existence in the Badlands and also faced the floods from the Gryphon’s mountains, however the water that flooded into the badlands became contaminated with sulphur, making the Changelings sick and incredibly desperate.

These climatic shifts outside of Equestria may or may not have been caused by the two governing Alicorns that have made it their mission to prevent famine and drought for their "little ponies" by assuming control of the sun and moon, by default the seasons as well to allow their fields to thrive. But by taking over the gravitational pull and rotation of the sun and moon they have screwed up the planet’s orbit, and let’s not forget a certain Draconequus. With his power trip from a little freedom he sped up the destruction, increasing the planet’s storms by twice the amount in one day alone. That cocky, chaotic entity screwed up things more royally than any being on the planet had before or even realized, except maybe him. He did enjoy his chaos.

Right now Equestria is ignorant to the climate signals their planet is screaming out, as a problem much closer to home is occurring. It is a much more noticeable crisis for them in their sheltered country: decreased birth rates coupled with even fewer colts being born. As it stands for every ten foals born only one will be a colt and with the average stallion’s lifespan being 70 years, the ponies of Equestria stand to be extinct within 200 years (if not a sooner with the planet’s meltdown). Not forgetting the doomed Alicorns. As it stands, with only three mares left, no stallions, and Alicorns requiring a large amount of magic to even enter estrus, not to mention conceive, they are (excuse the pun) royally screwed. For perspective, the most magical pony stallion is but a candle’s flickering light when compared to an Alicorn’s bonfire worth of magic.'

"Now don’t look so bored, this is important."

"Wait a second Fa-"

"Why should you care? Well, I, Faust Albus Tommy Everfree, have made planet Equis my charity case this year. Every year I look for an interesting planet in the multiverse to help. Whether it is curing scale eating plagues or slowing down moon sized meteors, I have done it! In case you are interested, I actually could have stopped that meteor, but the planet really needed a little motivation to evolve. Ya’ know what I mean? All the crawling and grunting was really passé, it was getting embarrassing. Also I couldn’t just stop every act of chaos."

"...Or you just don't want the bossman to stop your little games..."

"No! It’s not because of my brother, he isn’t that scary."

"So when Hades got his you know what stuffed you know where you didn't projectile vomit?"

"I don’t care what he did to Hades, that corpse fucker got what he deserved. Really though, fucking a dead broad is just too much even for me."

"Righhttt, you just play with the mortals a little. Give them 'happy endings' if what I remember the last hundred times you told me."

"Hermes, Hermes, you annoying ass kisser. If I stopped every catastrophic event in the multiverse then it would be in the same state Equis is in now! Besides, the surviving beings on that planet are actually thriving they even ended up a bit hairless after evolution. Not to mention I simply love their adaptability-"

"Humans?"

"YESSS! I know they are called ‘humans’, I wasn’t done yet. If you keep this up I won’t let you watch the sh-plan, the plan is genius! Anyway, as I was saying, these ‘humans’ are amazingly adaptable, I am actually taking one of them and giving it to Equis as a solution."

"Sooo, you are going to use what is essentially a hairless ape to save a world completely alien to it and restore another species with it? Well good luck with that plan all power*snorts*, come on, even I know Humans and-"

"SHUT UP! Of course I will of course make the Human more…pony-like for both their adaption to Equis and for my plan to work. I am the God of Creation…Meaning I’m a genius! All I have to do is reform it, place it on Equis, and watch the show, err plan I mean. Since you’re here did you want to watch?"

"I don't have a choice do I?"

"No need to look so nervous, have a seat, and enjoy!"

****

Ever get really, really drunk? Like so drunk that you hallucinate something so crazy you could have never thought of it in a million years? Yah, I am pretty sure that is what is happened, except without the whole being inebriated part. This had to be some crazy hallucination and now I was just waiting for the voices to start.

I haven’t gotten that drunk in a long time, Dr. Krause said that would be a bad idea if I ever wanted to have kids.

But to explain my situation simply: I woke up in midair.

My body felt strange, tingling and seeming to be too large as I fell. I was plummeting at what I swear felt like light speed towards the forested ground. There was screaming ringing in my ears, it was nearly all I could hear, a masculine voice screaming and the wind whooshing past my now pointed ears. Equine ears my brain supplied from out of nowhere, illogical? Yes, but I wasn't inclined to ignore my gut feeling, it had helped me get out of a couple of bad situations before.

The ground was still approaching at a breakneck speed. I mean that quite literally, I was pretty sure my neck was going to snap on impact. My mind didn’t even have time to register what was happening as my self-preservation instincts kicked in and to my surprise my wings started flailing in a motion reminiscent to flapping.

This was not my finest moment.

Despite what the flashes of my life going before my eyes told me I had managed to land without breaking my neck. It was a bit hard on my hooves, causing vibrations went up my legs, but I was alive. How else could i explain the sudden urge to worship the ground?

I can see you are curious as to the whole equine ears, wings, and hooves part and I assure you it is important, I didn't go to sleep with them after all. But I will get to that bit in a moment, although, in retrospect it was kind of hilarious. The result of this adventure not the falling, hell, the falling was the tip of this crazy ball of yarn I’m going to spin you.

Right, my new body had landed me in a grassy meadow, surrounded by tall trees that were vaguely reminiscent to pine trees. What held my attention though was a masculine ‘humph’ that echoed out into quiet forest.

Out of everything that seemed to be what was the most out of place in what appeared to be the middle of a forest, then anyway.

While still being in completely lost as to where I was, it still didn’t seem like the place to hear a deep baritone voice in. I was clearly alone in a meadow, with no men around to make such a noise, and I certainly didn’t make that sound. Although my voice could do interesting accents it definitely did not go down to such a deep level, ever.

That is when it hit me, I had just ‘humphed’ from the impact. I had a male voice. My previous boyfriends, heck, my previous girlfriends had assured me I was a woman. Even the gynecologist knew me by my nickname! I was one hundred percent woman last time I checked.

Don’t give me that look, Dr. Krause saw me often enough and we had a good, friendly relationship. Even though I left her office in tears more often than not it was still a healthy relationship.

I did what any lady would do when she feels funny and sounded deeper than should be possible for a woman: I looked between my legs. It didn’t register then that it was my forelegs that I was gazing between, or even that black fur covered my body, it was the sheath and scrotum hanging out between my legs that sent my mind into a complete tailspin. I knew from enough visits to the petting zoo what that sheath meant: a penis. Following logical thought, a penis meant I wasn’t female anymore and that broke my brain a little, okay it shut it down faster than I could follow.

There was no operation, no pill, I just woke up like this. You would have thought the fact that I was equine would have been more prominent but no, the penis was, it had shattered all my hard work to have kids and it had no explanation for being between my legs.

Yes, that is when I sounded more like myself with a high pitched scream, not that I screamed often, but the pitch was closer to my normal voice. I followed that embarrassingly cliched feminine display with up with an even more clichéd act: I fainted.

****

"See, isn’t this a fun show?"

"'Fun', yes I totally see it, changing a woman's gender, species, and taking them to a another planet. The 'fun' is just so overwhelming..."

"What? Hermes, you of all god-lings should know gender doesn’t matter. Don’t act like that silly head, when all I have to do is switch a chromosome and gender is irrelevant! Now, now no need to get up, he *snirk*does gets better. Zeus will be laughing his ass off when he sees this, I promise you!….Pinkie Promise?

"We don't have pinkies, that is a human thing. Just how often do you watch that world anyway?"

"It’s actually an Equestrian thing, don’t think about it too hard."

"Trust me I'm not thinking too hard when it comes to you."

"Spoil sport, I-you….Well I suppose I could have just made one of the Alicorn mares into an Alicorn stallion, but where is the fun in that? This way I also solved the planet’s climate issues as well!"

"Of course it will! Why didn't I see it sooner? Taking another species, changing their species, gender, and using them to save the species that are dooming the planet to begin with...Why would any being do that? Faust be serious here, have you lost what little sanity you had?"

"Uh nooooo, BUT, *Hehe* that is the beauty of it, no one even sees it coming!"

"Well, since I clearly don't see it, can I deliver my message now?"

"NO! YOU CAN TELL ME LATER! NOW WATCH THE SHOW ALREADY!...I didn’t suffer a magically induced headache making that stallion so you could critic me *grumble grumble*"

****

I woke up to a massive headache, my legs throbbing dully with pain, and something squished uncomfortably under my side. My unusually furry side, had I landed on a rug or something?

Movement eluded me as my thoughts tumbled over one another, trying to decide which one had the question that was the most important to answer first, and frankly I didn’t know.

Am I hallucinating? Where am I? What am I now? How did I end up a guy? Better yet, why was I plummeting 100 miles an hour towards the ground?!

Taking a deep, panicked breathe I took stock of what I last remembered. Waking up, normal morning, another disappointing test result: I was still infertile. Being barren I was one of the last of my friends to be kid less, Nathan didn’t count, as he was asexual. Anyway, it was as normal as my Friday could be. I babysat my friend’s munchkins or ‘practice kids’ as I joked with them, tonight it was Josie and Ethan, precious twins. Those twins just stole my heart every time, they cemented my desire to have my kids all the more. Well after tucking them in, I went home and tucked myself in.

Then I woke up falling to my death.

Maybe this was all a dream then?

Sure I thought that, but the ground and pain certainly felt real, only time would tell on this one though. If a banana walks by then I will know for sure that this isn’t real, for some reason most of my dreams have a banana in them, don’t have a clue why either. No banana so far, but the strange trees aren’t exactly helping the argument for this being real. They are like pine trees but at same time not. The tall trunk and needles of a pine but the branches twist and twirl giving them an unnatural look. The mountains in the distance held no answer either; they did not look familiar with their steep slopes and tips obscured by clouds.

As to what I woke up as? That made me near certain I was dreaming.

I could feel short fur all over my body, conal ears swivelling of their own accord on my head as the bushes rustled, and my eyes looked cross eyed at a black muzzle, my muzzle. Through my fall and landing I had also discovered my hooves and wings. My tail whipped in annoyance at the thought that popped into my head next: I’m a flying stallion, a fucking horse!

At that point I wasn’t sure what bothered me more: being a horse or being male.

Falling through the sky did make it seem like one of those “dropping to your death” dreams I had heard about.

I sat up, sitting on my rump, my tail moved out of the way without a thought, as I stared between my hind legs at the most offending structures so far in this dream. The petting zoo had geldings so I knew my…penis…was tucked deep in my new sheath. The thought of it both repulsed me and brought out my curiosity. Every lady has her curiosities after all, mine lay my new…equipment…yes, that sounded much better than penis.

As I raised a hoof slowly, looking between my equipment and it, another more lewd thought hit me.

Should I test it?

And all I could answer myself with was: why not? It was my dream and technically that made it my horse cock. I would just wake up feeling morally conflicted and every time I went to the petting zoo I would probably not be able to look the ponies in the eye, but ‘live and let the dice fall where they may’ right?

I’m sure the banana will arrive soon, I am sure of it.

****

Thousands of miles away from my newest paw- benefactor, two sisters faced each other before turning back to the four nervous scientists before them; they were at the University of Canterlot surrounded by this current generation’s brightest minds.

….

No, they didn’t study under Artemis…Sheesh don’t get your thong in a bunch, watch the show you chatterbox.

Anyway, the moon based upstart was confused.

****

“We require ye repeat thyself scientist…”

The unicorn named Golden Script flicked his ears, suddenly overcome with nervous energy. Why did he have to volunteer to head the Fertility study? It sounded easy enough: conduct a census of Canterlot, get willing couples, and study the…results of their breeding. It also may have helped that he got to work with three very attractive mares. However, with the unprecedented results painting a rather shocking picture he wished to be anywhere else but in front of rulers asking for this.

“M–m–may I take a sample of your, “ at this point he looked a tomato and had begun to cower before their attention, “E-e-eggs.”

“For the fertility study princesses! We need Alicorn genetics to help with our conclusion,” piped up Radiant Beaker, a lime green unicorn mare.

A purple unicorn named Fuchsia Slide added, “When you next enter Estrus of course your highnesses!” an excited grin had crept onto her face.

The sister rulers shared a dumbfounded look. Not only had they never entered estrus, a fact that they kept well hidden, but, what could their genetics possibly have to do with a standard fertility study? Well it used to be standard, but a certain solar princess may have cut the funding to it half a millenia ago when a very flaccid noble that was part of the study wouldn’t leave her alone. The stallion’s pride wounded at his poor performance which had to be the scientists fault... Suffice to say that the overworked princess was just trying to keep the court moving along at that point and saw no reason to deny the request then as the population was booming and her patience was straining. When the lunar princess returned she was a more than ecstatic to give funding for this study, along with several other dropped studies that she found interest in.

“My little pony, I think I can safely say I speak for my sister and myself when I ask: what would Alicorn genetics do to help your study? We have seen this study conducted before and they were not necessary then, what has changed?”

At this question, the tension increased in the room tenfold as the scientists exchanged glances, desperately trying to convince one another to tell of their findings so far. The princesses noticed the thickness in the air and exchanged another look. Something was wrong.

Shadow Cell, a dark furred unicorn gulped and turned back to the main table in the room. Turning around she held a stack of papers in her indigo magic field. Luna’s midnight magic field wrapped around them as she took them from Shadow Cell.

Luna’s eyes scanned past the fairly obvious hypothesis, a blush formed at the scientist’s detailed write ups of the participating couples, and finally her blush drained as she reached their current conclusion.

Mares were entering estrus almost every six months now, which may have sounded nice for those lucky mares but it also meant less chances for foals. Foal births were down eighty percent in Canterlot alone since the last study and of the hundred and fifteen foals born last year only seven were colts. Stallion fertility was down as well; out of the twenty couples in the study only four stallions were firing real shots. Statistically speaking with only six percent of foals being colts and only twenty percent of stallions being fertile ponies were heading down the road to extinction.

Celestia noticing her sister’s change in mood moved closer and read the report. Just like her sister the white Alicorn looked significantly paler by the end of it as Luna floated it to the desk seeing that her sister understood.

Celestia and Luna looked grim as they realised what was happening and an unspoken agreement passed between their eyes before Celestia addressed them again. “I’m afraid we cannot help in that way Golden Script… we have never… entered estrus before.”

Collectively the unicorn’s jaws dropped.

“But we shall increase thee funds and allow thee to further study into fertility solutions.”