The darkening orange sky was sliced by intersecting columns of smoke rising from the collapsed metal structure on the ground. The structure was over two miles wide and circular in shape, like a donut. It also was about five miles tall, if laid upright.

The structure was a city called Skyworld, an experimental work station that had been turned into a weapon of war by the evil steward at the time. Originally intended to be employed as an observatory close to the atmosphere, making it easier for the study of the stars, the pony in charge had chosen to instead secretly turn it into a weapon that could be sent across the entire landscape and decimate it.

It originally rested in the sky in the Badlands south of Equestria, where it was about to be sent forth to cause untold terror to the ponies beneath by raining down fire and death by the catapults that bristled all around the edges of the station like teeth. The ponies could do nothing about it because it was up in the sky, where most ponies could not reach. And if any pegasi came close, they could be promptly blown out of the sky by the catapults, ballista, and archers that had almost unlimited range because of their height.

It was designed to be invincible. And it very nearly was, too. If unleashed upon Equestria, the death toll could have been catastrophic.

But it now lay burning on the ground, struck into ruin and disrepair, in the badlands from where it was about to be launched. Luckily for Equestria, Princess Celestia had received word ahead of time and had sent three of her most trusted pony warriors to deal with the station.

Far away from the wreckage, three stallions stumbled away. They were weakened, they were tired, they were hurt, but they were alive. These three stallions were not ordinary ponies. They were willing servants of Celestia, employed to be Celestia’s secret strike force sent to faraway threats in distant lands, called the Guardians of the Sun.

One of them was a knight in not-so-shiny armor. It was a dull dark grey that was discolored in some places. A thin brown tattered cape dragged behind him on his back, attached to the shoulder pads. Attached to his left arm was an enormous pointed shield, and he had a long broadsword across his back. His visor was split to the sides, revealing his whole face, which was a pale, pale blue color. His mane was a bright electric blue color, which stuck up at random spots. His eyes were a deep blue, like the color of fruit juice. The knight indicated the wreckage behind him. "Look at what you did, Storm. Look. The heck. At what. You. Did."

Noble Blade was a strong-willed, skilled, and honorable knight of Equestria, serving as a Guardian of the Sun alongside his other friends for over four years. During that time he had morphed from a deadly serious, overly-determined perfectionist into a wry, joking pony that still had the heart to do a job well, but also the mindset of a not-too-serious attitude that was willing to accept mistakes.

"Well, excuuuuuse me for saving your life," the pegasus named Firestorm retorted irritably. He was a dark orange pegasus with neon yellow eyes and a mane of red and orange mixed with yellow. His tail had the same color scheme, poking out of the back of his outfit. He was dressed in brown and maroon-colored rags that were hoof-stitched himself, and as a result, looked sloppy and unkempt. For his weapons, two twin blades sprouted in an X on his back. "I could have just let you pass by in that engine room without needing my help, but I decided, out of the goodness of my heart, to help you out, Noble."

Firestorm was a peculiar case. He hadn’t really been dropped on his head at birth, but he liked to pretend he had at times. Firestorm’s ideal one-word description was the word burlesque. He liked to treat little things like a big deal and big things like a little deal. Also employing over-the-top acting and using questionable methods to get a job done, Firestorm had been said that he could be a mix of the element bearers Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, if Pinkie Pie was a guy.

"The only reason I was even there in the engine room to begin with was because of you, Storm," Noble Blade replied. "You were the one that decided to rush in and assault the main tower-- all by yourself, I might add."

"The only reason I did that was because our strategy wasn't working well!" Firestorm defended himself. "The catapults were a little trickier to deal with than I originally thought."

"I told you they were dangerous!" Noble said, adjusting his cape. "You just decided to rush in once the first few were destroyed, didn't you?"

"Look, it was all Freedom Fighter's fault in the first place!" Firestorm cried, pointing at the pony beside him. "If he hadn't been late, none of this embarrassing crap would have happened!"

The pony beside him pointed at himself indignantly. He was an earth pony that had every inch of his body covered by a black armored bodysuit. All over the bodysuit were a collection of knives in all shapes and sizes, and on his flanks were two foldable combat batons. He had a short black jagged tail poking out of the back of his bodysuit, but apart from that there was no other identifying feature about him showing.

Freedom Fighter was a mysterious pony. Frequently preferring to be alone and without company in his free time, Freedom Fighter kept secrets about himself that even the other Guardians didn’t know. His background was so shady that nopony apart from the Guardians knew about his origin, or his motivations, or his family. He was, however, also the most deadly of them in warfare, and he had so far been unbeaten in single combat.

"You know exactly why he was late," Noble Blade defended the earth pony. "He couldn't help it, you know. Lay off of him for that, will you?"

"I'm sorry, Noble, but I just don't like being blamed for an entire event when it wasn't all my fault," Firestorm said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Noble scratched his electric blue mane. "I have to admit, I was a little stupid myself."

Freedom Fighter raised his hoof in agreement. It was physically impossible for him to speak, since he had lost his tongue and badly damaged his vocal chords some time before.

"See?" Firestorm looked first at one pony, then another. "I wasn't the only stupid one. We all messed up, didn't we?"

"You're right." Noble Blade smiled. "But you just embarrassed yourself worse than anyone else."

"Oh please!" Firestorm waved him off. "I can embarrass myself anytime I want! It's what I'm good at! I should have gotten that for my Cutie Mark, instead of that garish X on fire." His voice turned whiny, like a teenager's. "It clashes with my skin toooone!"

"That X means you're good at burning things," Noble Blade reminded him. "Do you want to give up burning things?"

"No no no no no," Firestorm hurriedly rushed, waving his hooves. "I, uh, I'm good with what I have, thanks." He reached into one of his pockets and drew out a small rectangular block of metal and decorative glass. "At least we managed to salvage this from the wreckage."

"Celestia will be happy to see that," Noble agreed. "That's what one of our objectives of the mission was, at least."

They walked for a little bit until they came to a small solid rock structure, at which point Firestorm sat down and asked, "So what do we tell 'Tia? Should we tell her we, ah, botched the mission?"

"We didn't botch it," Noble Blade replied. "We just did some rather embarrassing things. You don't have to include them in the letter."

Firestorm had gotten out a roll of parchment and had plucked one of his feathers out to use for a quill. Freedom Fighter lowered his arm and had popped open a small portion of a piece of black armor on his arm. Inside was a small amount of ink that Firestorm dove his quill into and begun to write with. After a few lines he looked up. "Should I mention the part where you decided to forgo your destiny as a kind-hearted warrior and instead become a ballerina?"

Noble turned a shade of pink. "You can, uh, leave that part out. If you're talking about me being in the engine room, surrounded by enemies..."

"That was exactly what I was thinking of," Firestorm replied, hurriedly scribbling out a line. "Whoops."

After a little bit, the letter was finished, and Firestorm cleared his throat. "Wassup, 'Tia?" he read aloud. "Me and the other Guardians of the Sun just busted up Skyworld. We regret to inform you that we unfortunately were unable to recover much of the wreckage that you asked for. But we did manage to get the file containing Skyworld's blueprints and the outline of the unorthodox technology used to make such a threat possible in the first place. What should we do with it? Yours truly, Firestorm- the fast, the deadly, the super hot, and the totally annoying." There was a pause, and then he rushed, "Oh, and Freedom Fighter and Noble Blade, too." He looked up. "What do you think? Is the letter good?"

"That oughta be fine," Noble told him. "Send it."

Firestorm pointed his hoof at the letter and twisted his wrist. A loud whine and a small "click" was heard, and the flamethrower on his arm enveloped the letter. The ashes rose though the air and disappeared.

"I hope your flamethrower was on messenger mode," Noble Blade muttered with a grin. “It would be hilarious if you just set the letter on fire.”

Firestorm "Pshaw"ed. "Come on, Noble! You know me better than that! When have I ever made that mistake?"

"In our raid on Arimaspi Mountain," Noble Blade reminded him.

Firestorm pouted his lip, just a little. "Okay, that was different."

His flamethrower suddenly gouted a long tongue of fire and a letter came spiraling out and popped open. Firestorm caught the letter in his metal-coated wing.

Freedom Fighter made a side comment with his hooves to Noble Blade.

"Sometimes I don't understand how she manages to reply so fast, either," Noble admitted to Freedom Fighter.

Firestorm broke the wax seal and opened the letter. He cleared his throat a little excessively, then started to read Celestia's response out loud. "First off, Sir Firestorm, when writing letters, please call me Celestia, not 'Tia. It's okay in front of nopony else, but not in letters." He looked up somewhat disappointedly. "Shoot." He looked down at the letter again. "And second, you must wipe the records of Skyworld from off that file. If allowed to exist, the files will fall into the hooves of some malcontent and rebellious pony endeavoring to cause ruin to the peaceful land of Equestria. It is imperative you destroy the records." Upon reading that, Firestorm's face grew a wide, wicked smile.

Freedom Fighter noticed this and motioned for Noble Blade to move backwards, out of the range of Firestorm's armspan.

"Good idea," Noble Blade whispered. He and the other Sun Guardian withdrew a few paces.

"Chill out, guys," Firestorm told them, noticing the wide berth they gave him. "What's the worst thing that can happen around me?"

"Just wipe the records from the file," Noble told him.

"Now, for this operation, it requires a steady hoof and a good eye," he informed them in a scholarly tone. He pulled out a pocketknife and flicked open the can opener, and settled the rectangular metal-and-glass file on the solid rock. He carefully, carefully bent over the file and gently pressed the tip of the can opener to the edge of the file. He twisted the hole in the side of the file with agonizing slowness, and removed the can opener from the edge.

The mute earth pony made a small motion to Noble Blade, in a questioning tone.

"You'll see," was all Noble said. He then started to read the letter Celestia had sent them, his eyes scanning from side to side.

Firestorm put away his pocketknife and was now steadying the rectangular file ever so carefully. He held the thing so steadily, for the space of five seconds.

Then he suddenly reached where nopony could see, pulled out a hammer from nowhere, and started to whack the file with reckless abandon at the speed of a snare drummer. His arm was a blur as he whacked the metal file with all of his force, and metal shards flew everywhere.

After about five seconds or so, he threw the hammer itself at the file, reached behind him, and started to windmill his arms at a speed not thought physically possible. With each rotation of his arms, a single egg hurled itself at the file, but the speed at which the eggs were thrown at the file was the speed of a Gatling gun. In the space of three seconds, over a dozen eggs had been splattered against the file of information.

Before Noble Blade or Freedom Fighter could question where he had gotten such objects, Firestorm suddenly started to whirl glass cups at the mess on the rocks. In the space of four seconds over a dozen glasses had shattered on the now-indiscernible mess on the rocks that now comprised of metal shards, egg yolks and shells, and broken glass. He continued to give a separate yell for each projectile thrown, but they were so close together he had no time to even really take a breath.

And before Noble Blade could interrupt him, Firestorm reached behind him, pulled a priceless vase out of nowhere, and slammed it on the whole thing with all the force he could muster, giving a massive cry.

He repeated this a second time half a second later with another vase.

And a third time.

And the fourth time, he somehow pulled out an entire disco ball and slammed the ball on the mess that now was filled with broken glass. The disco ball shattered on impact.

He then fired a dozen more eggs at the glass mess at the speed of a snare drummer, punctuating each egg throw with an "AAUH!" or an "EEAA!" or something along those lines. After three seconds of this, he reached behind him, pulled out a video game console, and chucked that at the whole pile of broken glasses and plates. The pile was now about the size of three full-grown ponies. Firestorm then inexplicably pulled out two more video game consoles and hurled that on the rocks as well.

Then he reached where nopony could see where he was pulling it, and appeared holding a folding chair. He lifted that above his head, screamed something incoherent, and slammed it on the pile WWE-style.

He then pulled a watermelon out from behind him, to the amazement of everyone watching, and hurled that on the pile. It burst open, splattering its red insides all over the pile of miscellaneous and random objects that almost certainly would not have been possible to have been there on short notice.

He then pulled a bag of rice out of nowhere and punched the bag, creating a hole in the bag. He dumped the entire bag of rice on the pile of miscellaneous objects on top of the Skyworld file with another incoherent screech.

He repeated this a second time.

And a third time.

And after the third time he reared on his hind legs, pointed his hooves at the pile of junk and twisted his hooves. A faint whine and a small "click" filled the air and a tongue of flame sprouted out of his hooves and enveloped the pile of junk, with Firestorm screaming the whole time.

Then he drew one of the twin blades from off his back and struck the conflagration with his sword about ten times at a respectable fraction of the speed of sound, him punctuating each strike with another scream of death. The very rock it was all on crumpled into pebbles under the strikes Firestorm gave it, and the various objects Firestorm had employed all collapsed, still all burning.

And after five seconds of him doing this, he pulled a small cylindrical device out of his ragged uniform and tossed it on the burning heap. A loud explosion rocked the ground all around the three ponies, forcing all three of them to their haunches as the ground in front of Firestorm was consumed by a ball of flame as tall as a Canterlot garden statue.

Firestorm turned around to face the other two Guardians, who were doing their best not to laugh at him. After three deep breaths he gasped, "So...how's that for effective destruction?"

Noble showed him the letter. "There was a P.S, Storm," Noble told him. "However, Firestorm, please try to save the actual file it was on. It could prove useful in keeping secrets of our own on. At all costs, please save the hard file, as it has proved in keeping information safe, and please remember that that was the only one of its kind in Equestria." Noble looked up, an amused smile on his face.

Firestorm inhaled through his teeth, shock plastered on his face all of a sudden. He slowly, almost mechanically, turned around on one hoof to face the crackling, snapping inferno he had created atop the precious Skyworld information file.

He stayed like that for a count of five seconds. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi.

Then Noble Blade and Freedom Fighter started to clap with extreme insincerity from behind him. "Congratulations, Firestorm," Noble Blade said, the sarcasm in his voice heavier than a weighted blanket. "You saved the day again!"

"Oh, shut up," Firestorm snapped irritably, his eyes travelling to look at the ground.

Author's Notes:

Okay, so yeah, this was cartoony near the end. But MLP is a cartoon, is it not? Some suspension of disbelief is required.

If you liked this story, be sure to check out A Rather Large Adventure, the main story of the Guardians of the Sun and their involvement with the Mane Six!