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Inevitabilities

by Sharp Quill

Chapter 16: 16. Narratives are Magic

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Twilight watched the TV with growing unease. The senator went on and on, acting as if Serrell was the archvillain who must be brought down. This sort of behavior was tolerated? Was the President powerless to stop it? She glanced at Meg and Steve sitting on their sofa, neither of them really bothered by the call to overthrow—if not in so many words—the ruler of the country.

Perhaps it was the unfamiliar terminology. Why was Tartarus like “Guantanamo?” Was that also a literal hell like their mythological Tartarus? She really needed to correct their misconceptions. But somehow she knew that wouldn’t be enough. It was quite clear the real problem was that humans were there at all.

For five minutes it went on before Steve stopped the playback. Much had been said: about due process, possible torture, speculation on what else the president might have going on with Equestria that was to his own benefit and not the nation’s—but, as Celestia often emphasized, what was not said is often more important than what was said.

It hadn’t escaped Meg’s notice either. “Not a word on who the prisoners are, why they’re prisoners in the first place—or even the exact number. Whoever leaked this was rather selective with their leak.”

Steve shut off the TV. “I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on.”

“Could somepony please explain it to the Dazed and Confused Trixie?”

Meg jerked around, as if she had forgotten the showmare was there. “I thought referring to yourself in the third person was just a stage persona?”

“Cut me a break, will ya?” she grumbled. She nodded at the TV. “How’s that… thing even possible? You don’t have magic, right?”

“They don’t,” Twilight said, “and that ‘thing’ is called a ‘television.’ It functions exclusively on non-magical scientific principles. You’ll encounter many incredible inventions like that here.”

Trixie put on a thoughtful look. “Would any of these inventions work in our realm?”

What was she getting at? “They all do—at least the ones not dependent on infrastructure we currently lack. Why?”

“Just thinking… I might be able to use them in my show.”

Twilight considered the possibilities for herself. Devices that couldn’t possibly do what they did without magic, and yet they did. Part of the act could involve letting ponies look for spells themselves—and of course not finding any. Moondancer’s initial reaction to computers came to mind. It seemed harmless enough. “Just be aware that they’ll become commonplace in Equestria eventually.”

Her face went from thoughtful to worried. “How quickly?”

“I don’t know, quite honestly—which means, I guess, probably long enough for you to take advantage of it.”

Trixie took a step back. “I need to think about this.”

She invoked the return spell and vanished.

Meg shook her head. “I know. She’ll be coming back; her magic still needs to be tested here.”


Trixie was nowhere to be found when Twilight returned home. It was probably just as well. She went to her bedroom, where could be found the one computer that was connected to the human internet. On that computer was the secured communication software she had been given. Upon unlocking the computer, she found a message waiting for her.

It was short and simple. A brief summary of the news leak—it hadn’t gone unnoticed, to her utter lack of surprise. Serrell wanted her to come by to discuss the Tartarus situation. Tomorrow morning if possible. She sent a reply to confirm the meeting.

What the President wanted from her wasn’t clear. Whether the prisoners remained in Tartarus or were returned to their realm, it wouldn’t change the fact that it had become public knowledge; the damage was done. She couldn’t imagine any public statement she could make that would improve the situation.

Odd that he wouldn’t trust their own communication software for this subject. Must have been a sign how sensitive the situation was. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

She fetched another of Discord’s plaid pills from the seemingly bottomless dispenser and put it in a saddlebag; Susie’s parents were not staying overnight. Yet it was too soon to head back to Sweet Apple Acres.

Sugarcube Corner. That’s where she’d go to kill some time.

She went downstairs. Before she could reach the door, Derpy entered with the mail. The pegasus retrieved a thick stack of envelopes from a saddlebag and presented them. Twilight took them in her magic and leafed through them. It was a somewhat more productive means of killing time.

But only barely. The letters were all from some noble or businesspony or agency that wanted something from their newest princess. If she was lucky there’d be a letter from Cadance or Shining. There wasn’t, of course. Perhaps she should have her mail pre-filtered, taking up Celestia’s offer to have her staff handle it. Or get her own staff, as Spike kept suggesting. She dumped the junk mail on a table. It was only a matter of time, really.

Derpy was still there, her unease increasing by the second.

“Is there something I can do for you?” Twilight gently asked. She’d much rather help ponies like the mare in front of her than the ones who had sent those letters.

“Uh… do you remember the last time we talked? About humans? You said you’d think about it?”

Twilight kept her face neutral. “I haven’t had a chance, really. It’s only been a few hours, and I’ve been busy with other matters.”

Derpy took a step back. “Of course, how silly of me.” She turned around and started walking.

Pinkie’s words came back to her: You can’t keep it a secret forever. Then what? Like it or not, her friend had a point. You had to start somewhere. “Wait a minute,” she said, just before Derpy reached the door.

Derpy turned to face her, expectant.

“You’ll Pinkie Promise to keep secret what I’m about to tell and show you?”

Without hesitation she went through the motions. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Twilight let out a sigh, hoping she wasn’t about to blunder big time. “The human child that was mentioned? I can take you to her right now.”

Her eyes went wide. “You mean… go to their realm? Like… this second?”

“That… won’t be necessary.”

The pegasus tilted her head. “I don’t understand.”

“They’re in this realm, not far from here.”

“I… thought you said humans wouldn’t be allowed in Ponyville.”

“Technically,” Twilight singsonged, “they’re not in Ponyville.”

“They?”

“Her parents are there too,” she admitted. “Think of it as a lucky break. You can ask them for their permission for Susie to attend Dinky’s birthday party.”

Derpy’s eyes went their separate ways.

“Just…” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Just follow me.”


They began their descent towards the Sweet Apple Acres homestead. Twilight scanned the area and found nopony outside. “They’re probably inside the house,” she told Derpy.

Upon landing at the front door, Twilight knocked. The seconds passed uneasily. “Could they be in the barn?” Derpy asked. “Somepony usually is when I deliver the mail.”

Before Twilight could answer, from inside came the sound of approaching hooves. The door opened, revealing Apple Bloom. The filly looked back and forth between the two, and decided to address the mailmare first. “Didn’t you already deliver the mail earlier today?”

Twilight answered for her. “She’s here to meet Susie and her parents. Are they inside?”

“Really?” Apple Bloom turned back to Derpy, who gave her a nervous grin in turn. “Uh, okay, then.” She once more looked at Twilight. “They’re in the clubhouse. Applejack’s with them.”

“You’ve met the humans,” Derpy asked, “and they’re okay? You’re not afraid of them?”

Apple Bloom looked askance at her. “Why would I be afraid of them?”

“Well, they know so much—”

“Why don’t we hold off on that conversation for now,” Twilight said, interrupting. “Let’s go to the clubhouse.”

Derpy hesitantly turned away from the filly. “Sure, let’s do that.”

Twilight left the ground and Derpy followed. “She’s had firsthoof experience with that, just so you know,” Twilight said. “She’s been to their realm a few times.”

They entered the orchard, flying between the apple trees at a leisurely pace. “Am I really being that silly about the whole thing?”

Twilight briefly looked back at her. “I don’t know, Derpy. When I first encountered it, I… could’ve handled it better myself. I still don’t know how it’s possible. Nopony does. No human does.” The clubhouse came into view up ahead. “It’s not fair to hold it against them.”

“I’ll… I’ll try.”

The door to the clubhouse was open. Twilight set down on the terrace and went inside. They were all there. Matt and Lori were sitting cross-legged on the floor, the roof not quite high enough for adult humans. From the calm way they looked at her, she could assume Susie’s pony transformation had gone unmentioned.

“My, how time flies,” Applejack said, herself sitting on her haunches. “Coulda sworn we had at least another hour.”

Twilight waved that off. “You do; that’s not why I’m here.” She looked back at the door. “Come on in.”

A gray muzzle poked through the door.

“Derpy!” Susie squealed, arms spread out for a hug as she ran towards the pegasus. The pony edged back out the door, her wings preparing for flight.

Twilight halted the child’s forward movement with her magic. “That could be interpreted the wrong way,” she chided her.

“Yes, Susie, you’re scaring her.” Lori waved the mare inside. “She won’t harm you,” she assured her.

Susie let her arms drop. “I’m sorry.”

Applejack gave Twilight a raised eyebrow. “This is mighty unexpected.”

“I assume there’s a reason for introducing Derpy to us?” Matt asked.

“There is.” Twilight looked back at the pegasus standing in the doorway and gave her an encouraging smile. “Derpy has a question she’d like to ask you.”

“She does?” Matt studied the pegasus. “I, uh, can’t imagine what about, but…” He shrugged. “Go right ahead.”

Derpy took a few small steps forward, not quite entering all the way. “My little muffin, Dinky—my foal—is having a birthday party soon, and…” She looked at Twilight, who with a smile encouraged her to continue. “And… she really wants to meet a human and I was wondering if… if Susie could attend the party.”

Susie exploded with excitement. “Can I, dad, can I?”

“Now just hold your—just hold it.” Matt covered his eyes for a moment. “I’m not saying no,” he said, “but I’m not saying yes either, not yet. I’ll need more information first. I’m sure Twilight here can provide that in due time.”

“I’ll be happy to, Matt.” Twilight debated whether to tell him about the Tartarus news leak. It wasn’t the best time to do so, but it was probably better that he heard it from her first. “Could you follow me outside? There’s something you should know.” Lori needed to hear it too, but she was also needed to keep an eye on their daughter.

“Ah… sure.” He carefully got up, remaining hunched over, and made his way to the door. Derpy hopped to the side, getting out of his way.

Matt stretched his back once he was outside. Twilight closed the door and cast a sonic barrier spell, but not before Susie could be heard asking, “Can I hug you?”

He addressed the alicorn. “It sounds important, whatever it is.”

“It doesn’t directly impact you, but you’re going to hear about it the next time you watch the news.”

He rubbed his forehead. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“You know those humans who are being held in Tartarus?”

“Yes,” he dryly said. “The reason my daughter is in Equestria right now.”

Best to get to the point. “Well, the fact that there are humans being held in Tartarus has made the news, and Serrell is being held responsible for that.”

Matt’s hand froze on his forehead. “I imagine it sucks to be him right now. So what are you doing about it?—if I may ask.”

“I only just found out about it myself. I’m meeting with Serrell tomorrow.”

He dropped his hand and looked up through the canopy. “Can’t image what could be said or done to undo the damage, but that’s not my problem. But if they’re going after him, I’m guessing it means it’s safe for Susie to come home?”

“It’s starting to look that way, but I’d first like to see what I’ll learn tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He turned back to the door. “If they wanted to impeach him before… Still… I wish they’d done this first instead of going after my family. Just saying.”


Twilight Sparkle appeared inside the Oval Office, as she usually did, on top of the presidential coat of arms at the center of the oval rug. Not for the first time, she wondered what griffons would make of its eagle clasping an olive branch with one talon and arrows in the other. None had yet to lay eyes on it, so far as she knew.

President Serrell got up from behind his desk. “We’ve much to discuss,” he said. “Let’s get to it.” He strolled over to a sofa, and as he sat down he waved a hand at the facing sofa.

Twilight leaped up with the aid of her wings and make herself comfortable. “Perhaps you could start by providing some context? If I didn’t know any better, it looks like they’re trying to take you down over this. I mean, sure, the prisoners can be returned to your realm, but I’m not getting the impression that would really satisfy them. The few humans I’ve talk to about this more or less agree.”

“Humans like your Royal Advisor, Meg Coleman?” he casually threw out.

It took a second for that to register. “Right. Your agents overheard that in Tartarus, didn’t they?” When they were checking in with the guards. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“It doesn’t have to be, so long as she follows the laws concerning the representation of foreign powers. The easiest way of doing that is simply to avoid representing you in your interactions with us.”

There was so much to learn about how their government worked. “Then I will not ask her to serve in that capacity—but I doubt she would want to anyway.”

“Then let’s move on. Context.” He considered his words. “It will—and it won’t—satisfy them.”

Twilight waited for the explanation.

“It’s no accident the identities of the prisoners, even their number, were not leaked. It’s to give plausible deniability. Free them, and the accusations against me turn into mere unsubstantiated rumors. Everyone moves on to the next crisis du jour, and it falls off the headlines. And because their identities weren’t leaked, the former prisoners can go back to their lives. In that sense, it’ll satisfy them.

“But the accusations won’t completely die off; they’ll have taken on a life of their own. Mere lack of evidence won’t stop them. Many will latch onto them as additional reasons why ponies must be banished—and why I should be impeached. And in that sense, it won’t satisfy them. Of course, they win either way, whether they’re released or not. Sure, they’d have to out at least one of them if they’re not, but no more than one. Someone they consider relatively expendable.”

And I thought our nobles could get manipulative and underhoofed. Even they knew better than to openly work against Princess Celestia—or, as hard as it was to believe, against even herself. But, she had to remind herself, the man in front of her was just a man, little different from other men.

Serrell was waiting for some sort of feedback.

Strange. He didn’t seem as worried as he ought to be, given what he’d just said. “I’m assuming ‘they’ are the same people behind the break-in and Susie’s kidnapping? This ‘Section?’”

“You could say that,” was all he said.

“Am I missing something?” Twilight asked. “Some nuance of human politics?”

“I guess you could say that too.” He got up and started walking about the office. “All the people directly involved with that kidnapping have been identified, of course—don’t ask me who. What matters is that there has been a frank conversation.” He stopped and looked at her. “Are you aware of the phrase ‘mutually assured destruction?’”

“Mutually assured what now?”

He waved it off. “I’ll spare you the history lesson. The point is, neither side can take the other down without being taken down in turn. We’ve both taken actions that won’t sit well with the public.”

Nothing Celestia had taught her had prepared her for this. “Seriously?”

Serrell took a few silent steps around the Oval Office. “They know you are holding their operatives in Tartarus. They know I know that, and have done nothing about the abduction of citizens from our soil, have kept it secret. If that went public, really went public…” He threw up his hands. “Matters would become… untenable for me quite quickly.”

It would certainly play into the Equestrian Invaders narrative. By taking that action…

She stopped that line of thought; what’s done was done. “How could they know that?” she asked. They shouldn’t have known any of that; very few humans did, and none of them would have talked.

“I’m not sure,” he said, obviously wishing he did. “They claim that Meg spilled the beans while in their captivity.”

Twilight had had enough of that claim. “That’s absurd. Even if they really did have her—and they most certainly did not—she was gone before I arrived. She’d have no idea I’d taken them, much less where I had put them. None of them could’ve known I’d taken them, only that they ‘disappeared.’” And, she did not add, Meg had already made it perfectly clear that she wouldn’t go back in time in order to make this “kidnapping” a reality. Twilight saw no reason to persuade her differently.

He threw up his hands again. “It is what it is. Anyway, I’m officially asking for the return of the human prisoners in Tartarus.”

“Consider the transfer officially approved. We can work out the details later, but what stops the prisoners—ex-prisoners, I guess I should say—from talking?”

He grinned, to her surprise. “Mutually assured destruction, that’s what.”

Twilight groaned. “I must admit this wasn’t part of the training I received from Celestia.”

“Consider yourself fortunate that as a ruler of Equestria you needn’t worry about it. The bottom line is that most of those individuals don’t want to be in the news or the public eye. There’s a reason the news leak said one or more. I’ll say this much: this ‘Section’ is a band of strange bedfellows. If not for their common cause, I doubt they’d give each other the time of day.”

She had much to discuss with Celestia the next time she saw her. “Okay. So assume this goes according to plan. These accusations won’t just disappear, by your own admission.”

“Quite true, quite true.” He retook his seat across from her. “There’s only one way to make them go away, and that’s to confirm them with hard evidence.”

Her face went blank. “You’ve lost me.”

He gave her a big smile. “They got everyone believing there must be a human in Tartarus? Well, it turns out there already was one. He’s been stuck there for centuries, and he wants to come home.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. Serrell leaned back, pleased at her reaction.

It was brilliant. It confirmed the basis of the accusation, that at least one human was being held prisoner in Tartarus, but in a way that absolved Serrell of any responsibility whatsoever. And this “Section” couldn’t counter it without hard evidence of their own—that is, by outing their operatives.

Serrell continued. “Even better, it’ll dominate the news cycle, change the narrative. Equestria isn’t some alien place; it’s tied into our own history, a part of us, in ways no one could have conceived.”

“I suppose… so long as nopony asks how that’s possible.”

He waved that off. “Doesn’t matter. There’ll be no shortage of talking heads on the news channels endlessly speculating on that, spouting nonsense and contradicting each other. It’ll be great for ratings.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed that already.” As enlightening as broadcast television could theoretically be, the humans had managed to come up with a devastating counterexample. She could see no reason to import that to Equestria.

“The point is, time they spend on that is time they won’t spend on the stuff we’d rather they didn’t. But we’re putting the cart before the horse—uh, no offense.”

“Uh, none taken?” The human need to apologize for equine-related sayings never ceased to amaze her, never mind that many of them were pony sayings as well.

Regardless, the President’s plan depended on one small detail. “I have no idea if Tirek was telling the truth, you know. He could have learned of this mythology from the other humans, though I gathered it’s unlikely any of them would have known the names of King Minos’ sons.”

“Not a problem,” he declared. “We’ve come up with a solid test. The ancient Minoans used a writing system known to us as Linear A. It has never been deciphered. As a Minoan royal, Tirek ought to be literate in that writing system.” He looked at her questioningly. “Assuming the passage of millennia hasn’t caused him to forget it?”

“It’s conceivable,” Twilight replied after a moment’s consideration, “but not likely. It seems to be a property of immortality. Certainly Celestia, Luna, and Discord have no trouble remembering the distant past.” Actually sharing what they could remember was a different matter, at least for one of them.

“Well, let’s hope he still remembers it. Anyway, it’s not like it has to be a timed test. He can take as long as he likes or needs; he has every incentive to finish it as soon as possible.”

“So, what is this test?”

“It’s simple, really. We give him something in English and have him translate it to Linear A. Then we give him something written in Linear A from ancient times and have him translate that to English.”

“But if it’s never been deciphered, how can you tell if he did it correctly?”

“Because his translations will form a Rosetta Stone that can be used to crack Linear A, allowing us to read all those ancient Minoan writings. But if he simply makes it all up…”

Twilight had no idea what a Rosetta Stone was, but it was easy enough to guess. “Then all those ancient writings will remain unintelligible.”

He sported a big grin, spreading his hands wide. “Precisely.”

The test was easy enough to carry out, and it seemed virtually foolproof. “I’ll be happy to administer it once it’s ready.” She didn’t know which outcome would be better. If he failed this test, she’d be spared a difficult decision, but relations with this realm may depend on him passing.

Serrell got up and walked over to his desk, and he picked up a large manila envelope. “It’s right here.” He carried it over to Twilight and set it down next to her.

Twilight stared at the envelope as Serrell returned to the sofa.

“Assuming he does pass this test, I’d like him to be interviewed on camera by our news organizations. It’s all part of dominating the news cycle; you have to give them fresh meat they can’t refuse.” He grimaced. “Sorry about the ‘fresh meat’ metaphor.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’ve attended state dinners with griffons. You really don’t need to worry about that sort of stuff.”

“Uh, right. Anyway, I assume the interviews will have to take place in Tartarus. That’s actually a good thing, putting the mythological prison on TV. Show that it isn’t a place of hellish torture. They’ll eat it up. The ratings will be through the roof. And it’ll play into the narrative that you, somehow, have a common heritage with us.

“But the pièce de résistance is the Tirek interview. Let him say in his own words who he is and what he wishes from us. Let that start the national debate, not some proclamation from this office.” He grinned. “Much safer from my perspective.”

I really need to discuss this with Celestia. Sure, this kind of manipulation for political benefit was hardly uncommon among the nobles, but from the rulers? She didn’t think Celestia played this game.

“You’re being awfully quiet.”

Twilight looked up. “Sorry, it’s a lot to think about. What happens if this ‘national debate’ decides to deny him his wish to come here?”

He shrugged. “Then he stays in Tartarus. Better to find out this way rather than after he’s already here. You might wish to point that out to him, that he really needs to sell himself during those interviews. Either way, the ‘human in Tartarus’ narrative is defused.”

Next Chapter: 17. Pop Quiz Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 9 Minutes
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