I'm not stupid. Living in a town with Princess Twilight Sparkle as its librarian meant that I have a library card, and spending some spare time in the Golden Oaks Library had become that thing to do on a slow afternoon. Stories always seem to write about wakin' up as being a slow process, and not realizing what recent events had happened, or even waking up cuddled against somepony you don't know. This was nothing like that.

Mornings were not something I feared. I woke up remembering every naughty thing I had done. The feel of Smooth Vibes' tongue seemed to still tickle around my tail-hole, and I could easily remember the unique smell and taste of two different stallions' shafts—Smooth and Stereo—as well as the musk of Glamour's dock.

It had been fun; it had filled me with pleasure and happiness to give and take with Feather Bangs' friends, and it still did. I knew I wore a smile that would rival Princess Twilight's when she was reading a good book. The thought filled me with melancholy; Ponyville seemed so very far away.

"Feeling confused? Not sure how you got here?" Feather Bangs' voice was right by my ear, and as I turned to him, his lips moved to touch mine. Adoration filled me, and I couldn't even imagine Ponyville anymore. His lips were soft, and he made a hungry little groan that made me tingle in desire.

The press of Feather's tongue at my lips was met with no resistance. I relaxed, letting him explore me, and couldn't stop my own hungry little sounds. My voice, deeper than his, was no less wanton. I lapped at his tongue, with my larger one, and heard a happy purr come from Feather. Just hearing him happy made me happy too.

When our lips broke, it was like climbing out of a lake. The perfection of our embrace sloughed away and revealed the world to me. I smiled and licked from one side of my mouth to the other, and tasted Feather's lips still there.

Feather wore the smuggest smile I had ever seen on a pony, and considering I had seen Flim and Flam win a bet, that was saying something. He reached a hoof to my mane and gently brushed it aside from my eyes. "Not going to comment? I am told I am a good kisser." His smile only grew

"Nnope." It felt good to be able to use one of my favorite responses. Since I had started reading more—nopony would dare have a library card to Princess Twilight's library and not use it—I had found myself growing more affluent with my words again.

I blinked in surprise when Feather started to laugh. "You couldn't stop singing songs for Sugar Belle yesterday. You're welcome, by the way." Feather stroked my mane again, and the touch sent a shiver up my spine.

"Welcome? What for?" I couldn't stop from leaning into his touch, and heard a little rumble come from his throat as he felt me do so. "You were fighting over her…"

"You would have been making moon-eyes at her for the rest of your days. You needed something to push you, to make you realize what you were about to lose." Feather's hoof stroked my mane, and wound up playing with one of my ears. "But there was a problem with what I did.

"I found perfection." Feather's voice held a measure of awe that I had not heard often. "You love the music, you love companionship,"—I tilted my head to see Feather's face held a wide smile—"you love my boys. And you want something more from life." He leaned down and kissed my forehead; I didn't know what to do but sit still. "And here I am, offering a pony the chance to join us. Again."

The phrasing intrigued me. "What're you mean, 'Again'?" I didn't pull back from his casual toying with my ears and mane, it was just too nice. He looked down at me as if I was something amazing, and for the first time in my life an affectionate look like that didn't make me nervous.

"Stereo Mix, Glamour Trot, and Smooth Vibes; they weren't always with me. They had dreams of what they wanted from life, but were trapped doing things that wouldn't let them truly be who they want to be." Feather ran one hoof down from my ears, tracing my mane, and all the way to the middle of my back. "You could be amazing."

"What—" My voice came out harsh, loud. I tried to get myself back under control, but that was not to be; Feather repeated the stroke again and again. Each time his hoof delicately traced along my spine I could only make a soft whimper.

"You have a week. Take your sister and her friends home, think things over, and tell them you are coming back to me." Feather's tone implied that this was the only thing I could do, not that I felt trapped by it (it was nothing like the time Starlight Glimmer had used her magic on me). "If you aren't back in a week, I won't be here, and you will not find us again."

The ultimatum locked up my throat even tighter. I wanted to tell him I would do it, that I wanted him to help me now. All I could do was nod slowly.

"Silly, big apple. You can't decide now, you have to take your sister home, and tell your family you are going. I won't foalnap ponies away in the night." Feather stopped his stroking, leaned down, and pressed his mouth to my ear. "No matter how much you beg." A soft sound in my throat broke loose.

"What will you do?" Feather had just told me all the things I had to accomplish, and I needed to hear him say what he would do for me. The sex had been good, amazing, but it wasn't why I was really here still.

"You are too big to play with, my apple. I would make you more supple. I would reduce some of this mass down, keeping you very masculine, but compact. Not a pony would doubt you are still a stallion,"—Feather's lips brushed my ear—"even if you wore a ballgown and a circlet."

The outfits that fit me were huge, caricatures of cute dresses. I loved to feel soft fabric on my fur, and longed to wear something truly girly, but my size had been against me ever since I got my cutie mark. Closing my eyes, I imagined myself as slim and perfect as Feather Bangs, and wearing one of the famed Princess Dresses. I was back to the point of wanting to beg him to take me, but at that moment he pulled away completely.

"It is your choice, McIntosh Apple." Feather Bangs, when I opened my eyes and looked for him, was standing at the door of the wagon. The sun was just rising in the window, and scattered around the bed I was on—that took up fully half of the wagon—was Stereo, Glamour, and Smooth.

I knew that trying to get up would stir them, and even as I moved a hoof I saw eyes open around me. Not a single one of the other stallions held any accusation in their eyes, only interest. "I—I'll be back, before a week." With my new friends all awake, there was no reason to attempt stealth. Slipping off the bed, my hooves hit the floor with a loud thump.

"The perfection you seek is not impossible, my big apple." Feather Bangs tossed his head a little, showing off his amazing mane; I ached to rush to him and kiss it. "But you have important things to take care of. Come back, and let me brush away all that isn't perfect."

I walked past him, struggling to compact myself down to fit past without brushing against him. At the last moment, he shifted so that his flank rubbed down my own. Outside, the world seemed different, not as magical as it did inside Feather's wagon. "You'll be here? You won't leave early?"

"Not even if the Royal Canterlot Guard themselves, or even all the ruling alicorns, were after me. I will wait for you, McIntosh." Feather leaned down from the wagon and closed his eyes. His lips were so inviting I couldn't stop myself.

Turning back, I took the steps it would take to press my lips to his. It was a short kiss, with no sensuality to it—it made me long for the sanctity of the inside of the wagon even more. "I won't be late!" Turning, I galloped as fast and as hard as I could for Our Town.

I must have stood outside the bakery for nearly half an hour. How could I go inside and talk to Sugar Belle after what had happened? Shifting from hoof to hoof (something I almost never did), I finally got the courage up to head inside, and reached for the door.

The door to the bakery opened before I could touch it, and Sugar Belle was standing there, looking back at me. We stared at each other for almost a minute before something suddenly hit me: she had been with Stereo Mix while I had been with Smooth Vibes. I opened my mouth, not sure what I was going to say, when three fillies raced around Sugar and through the door.

"Hiya big brother!" Apple Bloom, I realized, hadn't noticed a thing. The tension between Sugar Belle and I seemed to be put aside, unable to be discussed with three rambunctious fillies within earshot. "Are we headin' home right now?"

"Eeyup!" I looked around for the wagon I had brought the apples to town in, not seeing it where I remembered. "Uh, where's the—"

"The wagon is around the side." Sugar Belle's voice sounded relieved to be on a safe topic. "I made a basket of things up, but after last night I…" She trailed off, her eyes flicking to the foals. "I'll get it!"

Leaving my little sister and her friends anywhere, unsupervised, was usually a bad thing. Throwing caution to the wind—and not wanting to risk being alone with Sugar Belle, I made my way as quickly as my big hooves would take me. The wagon was around the corner, in a small alley way. Backing up between the two shafts.

I barely had the saddle strap secured around my midsection when Sweetie Belle poked her head around the corner in front of me. "No! He only just got hooked up to it!"

Grinning, I started forward. Of course I forgot to remove the chocks from the wheels, but it didn't take much strain to heave the wagon's wheels over those, and I didn't want to spend the time to unhook and deal with them. "Hop in." I paused barely a moment, and to my relief Sweetie Belle did just as I asked.

I leaned against the weight of the wagon, and pulled out into the street. Turning, I saw Apple Bloom and Scootaloo taking a big basket from Sugar Belle. My heart shot into my throat again, and I almost winced at having to talk to her again. What would I say?

"H-Hello, Big Mac. I hope your trip home will be good." I saw worry on her face, almost a panic. I had been kissing her quite happily the previous day, but now I could barely look at her. She reminded me that Feather Bangs had played a part in getting us together, and that sidetracked me to thinking about Feather Bangs.

"Eeyup." My universal answer was still good, it still worked. I nodded to Sugar, and started walking away from the bakery. Just as we got out of earshot of Sugar Belle, I heard four hooves clopping along the wagon—four little hooves.

"What happened, big brother?" Apple Bloom's voice sounded worried; I could have almost cursed her growing sense of awareness. She climbed up on my back and walked all the way to my shoulders before stopping. "You weren't there when we woke up, and Sugar Belle wouldn't say where you were."

"Nnope. Ah gotta think about some things." I kept my eyes forward, walking steadily despite the weight of the wagon. I really didn't want to have this conversation with Apple Bloom, but as fast as I could have pulled, I couldn't outrun her.

"But weren't you two all in—in love?"

"Ah thought so, but something changed." My heavy hooves felt like stone weights were attached. Every part of me felt too big, too heavy, and too much for me to live with. "Like Ah said, Ah got some thinkin' to do."

I managed to deflect their questions on the rest of the walk home, but doing so meant I didn't get to think about what had happened. Trudging into Ponyville, I paused the cart. "Now y'all get to tell your families why you were gone for a day." I looked pointedly at Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

With just Apple Bloom left, I tugged the cart into motion again and walked us home. She was mercifully quiet now, but with her so near I still couldn't think about what had happened. "Ah need some time." I waited, and after a few minutes of still not hearing Apple Bloom jump out of the wagon bed, I heaved a sigh. "Alone, Apple Bloom. Ah need some time t' think about this, alone."

Her response, if I hadn't been so distracted, would have been foreseeable. She turned those big eyes up at me, and her lip quivered, and I had no choice but to quickly pull out of the saddle strap and gather my little sister into a hug.

"Ah just wanna know what happened? Y'all seemed so happy!" Apple Bloom started crying for real, and I couldn't let her go now. "Ya worked so hard t' be with her!"

"It got complicated." Lifting Apple Bloom up, I set her on my back and slipped into the harness again. "Ah met a stallion—"

Apple Bloom cut in. "Feather Bangs?"

I winced at her guess. "Yeah. He's really nice." I plodded around the farm, pulling the cart back to its spot beside the barn. We walked in silence, and I let my revelation sink in for Apple Bloom—and myself.

I unhitched again, and walked into the barn. Eyeing a good spot, I walked up to a big mess of hay to one side, and flopped down in it.

It was longer still before Apple Bloom spoke again. "He was kinda pretty." The words eased something inside me. My mouth pulled into a dumb smile and I nodded. "Ah didn't know you, uh, liked stallions."

Hearing her say the words struck a note in me. I was surprised at how easily she made the connection, and then at how calm she sounded. "Me either."

"His mane looked so soft. Ah wish I could have stroked it." Her comment made me remember more of Feather. His mane was beautiful, his form strong, and just his touch had sent shivers down my spine. "You alright there, big brother?"

"Nnope." Despite my protestation, I let out one of the most satisfied sighs of my life. A pair of not-so-little forelegs hugged my neck. "Wait." My mind was still slightly distracted by Feather Bangs (and a little by the memory of Smooth Vibe's ministrations), but enough was free to focus on Apple Bloom. "What do you know about stallions?" I looked at the little sister I could always remember holding on the end of one hoof, and shook my head.

"Big Mac! Ah've got a coltfriend." Apple Bloom pulled back from me aways, and crossed her forelegs over her chest. I couldn't help but tell she had the same glare her big sister did. "Ah know all about how cute they can be, and how strong, and how—"

I shoved my hoof forwards, covering Apple Bloom's snout. "Nnope!" Standing up, I turned and started marching from the barn. I could hear her protests, so kept shouting over her. "Nope! Nope! Nope!" But a thud in the back of my head stopped me short. I froze, and slowly turned.

A half a bale of hay lay on the ground beside me. I turned to stare at Apple Bloom. I let the stare linger for a few minutes before I reached down and picked up the hay.

Her voice was sharp, all kinds of corners around her tone. "Ah'm big enough to talk about colts!"

I judged the weight of the hay, and spun around as quick as I could. In truth, a full bale of hay wouldn't have been any trouble to send towards her, but I figured if she could kick a half bale, she could take it.

The hay bale barely touched Apple Bloom and she spun to send it back at me. "Ah'm growin' up, McIntosh Apple, an' there's nothin' you can do about it!"

Any anger I might have held drained, and I let the hay hit me. Turning, I walked from the barn. I needed space, and I needed to think; there was two places I knew of that would let me do both.

I spared a glance at my plow. It was huge and heavy, and would be perfect to spend all the afternoon with while I thought of what had happened. But that wouldn't work. Four hooves sounded on the ground behind me, and I knew that Apple Bloom wouldn't let me be if I were that close.

Ignoring her stomping hooves, I turned towards town and started to trot. I didn't have to glance back to know my ground-eating stride was leaving Apple Bloom behind—and soon the farm. Everything was so hard to think about there. The world outside of Ponyville seemed like a dream.

Apart from the farm, there was only one place in Ponyville that made me feel relaxed. My hooves sped up, and I broke into a canter. Soon free of the buildings of Ponyville, and the ponies staring at me running past, I saw my target. The Castle of Friendship was ahead, and I knew exactly where I needed to be.

I barely slowed for the front door; Princess Twilight had given me a library card, after all. Knocking the doors open, I charged ahead. Heavy hooves pounded, kicking up echoing clops in the long halls. The stairs were a two-at-a-time job on the best of days, today I ate four per stride. I hadn't slowed much as I raced through Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle, right up until I reached the library.

Skidding to a halt, I turned and faced the entrance. My heart beat like a jackhammer in my chest, yet I lifted my hoof to knock gently on the door.

"Coming." The Princess' voice was always calm, collected, and even—unless something was trying to destroy Equestria. Thankfully, today was a calm day, and I felt the world ease around me, slowing down more and more until the door opened.

"H-Hello. Uh…" I trailed off, realizing I had broken the most important rule. "I forgot my library card!" Panic caught me up again, and I turned to gallop back to the farm to fetch it. Only I wasn't moving. Glancing down, I saw purple magic wreathing my body.

"Big Mac, I have a spare here for you." Twilight's voice was calm, peaceful, and was just what I needed. She set me back on my—no longer galloping—hooves, and stepped back from the door. "Come inside, did you have a book in mind for today?"

"Nnope." An old word, in my lexicon anyway, and a relaxing one. I followed Twilight when she turned and walked deeper into the library, and heard the door close behind me.

"There's one that always makes me relax." She led the way to a shelf, and reached to lift the book—a thick, heavy one—down from high on the bookshelf. Holding it up, she showed me the title: Elements and Darkness: Olde Tales of Equestria.

I smiled, the book choice was perfect. Once she set the book down in a low cradle, I made my way over and curled up behind it. "Thank you." The words were courtesy, plain and simple, but I meant them from the bottom of my heart. Opening the book I had already read, I thought back to Feather Bangs and his offer.

There was more to it, there had to be. Twilight Sparkle had helped teach the ponies of Ponyville that magic never gave anything for free. There was always a price, and if the price wasn't friendship it was going to be steep.

"You're not reading that, are you McIntosh?" Had it been anypony but Twilight, I would have given them a gruff answer and run away. I just shook my head. "If you didn't want a book, why did you come here?" Curiosity was dripping off her words, but if anypony could to hear my problem, and maybe have a valid solution, it would be the Princess of Friendship.

I took a deep breath, and prepared to tell my tale. "Ah just got back from Our Town. Ah had to deliver apples to the baker there."

"Sugar Belle?" I stared at Twilight when she said the name; there was no hint of intent, apart from an inquisitive smile. I nodded in reply to her.

"It was more than just apples." My mouth had become possessed, but Starlight Glimmer was nowhere around this time. I was about to confess everything to Princess Twilight, and it felt okay. "Ah was there to see Sugar Belle too."

I watched as Twilight seemed to settle into her own pile of reading cushions a little better. Her wings fluffed a little, twitching and adjusting themselves. "What's it like getting wings?" My question was a sidetrack, but I had time; I had a week.

She smiled at the sidetrack. "It was really strange at first. I had two new limbs and I couldn't control them. It was funny, but my time going to the mirror wo—" She blushed, and gave a sigh. "I went to another world for a little bit, and things were very different there. For a start, they had so—many—books!" She closed her eyes, and somehow the alicorn Princess of Friendship became even more beautiful than she already was.

I gave her time to work over her feelings, and thought back to the tune Glamour Trot played. It had been soothing, relaxing. It had eased my mind into a place I had never known before. I realized it was a form of hypnosis, but unlike the hammer that Starlight Glimmer used—or Twilight when she was having a "moment"—the music had been pure and sweet.

"Princess, I have a question for you." Relaxed and calm, I could focus on keeping my drawl to a minimum—I didn't want to mess up any words. She opened her eyes and looked right at me; as somepony who didn't talk much, I appreciated her knowing she didn't need to say anything. "Can you transform a pony, permanently?" She had started to nod, but froze as I said the last word.

"There are items that could: The Alicorn Amulet is one. But every one of them exacts a price. It is a price nopony would wish to pay." Her eyes seemed to pierce me, digging deeply into my intent. "Why? What do you want to change?"

"I just needed to know." Deflection, and Twilight didn't deserve it—I had a feeling that Feather wasn't advertising his ability for a reason. "I went there to see Sugar Belle as well, but it was a stallion who caught my eye." I was lucky my fur was bright red, it made great blush-camouflage.

"That's great!" Twilight's reaction didn't surprise me like Apple Bloom's had. I blushed at the thought of Feather Bangs, and how soft and gentle he was. "Who's the lucky stallion?" Her question was pulling more from me than I meant to share, but I couldn't see harm in it.

"Feather Bangs. He has—he has a show. A traveling show. With some of his friends. They wanted somepony to join, and I—I need to tell Applejack, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom." Each name was a chain binding me to Ponyville, and with each I lowered my gaze until I was staring at the floor.

I didn't hear her move—her hooves were silent, and her deceptively large wings were still—but I felt soft, magenta feathers touch my shoulders. "Big Mac, if you need somepony to stand beside you, you have a friend here."

She didn't tell me that I was making the right choice, she didn't try to give me moral guidance; Twilight Sparkle just told me that she was my friend. "Who are you? And where is the awkward Twilight Sparkle?" I held a serious expression for as long as I could before cracking a smile.

The moment my serious look broke, Twilight giggled at my joke. "That's still the Twilight Sparkle who wakes up in a castle every day and dreams of the time when she was a simple librarian. And then a handsome stallion comes into her castle and reminds her that she can be just that librarian, if only for a while. A stallion, I'll point out, who used to say a lot less and read a lot more." She squeezed a little with her wing before pulling it back. "That Twilight Sparkle is now Princess Twilight Sparkle, but this one is always here for her friends."

Knowing Twilight would support me as a friend meant more than her doing it because she was a princess. I settled back down with the book. "Thanks. He gave me a week to return, before they were going to move on. Ah have a little time."

"He sounds like a nice pony." Twilight walked back over to her own little nest of pillows and lay down. She said nothing more, focusing on her book, and letting me focus on mine.

I knew what would happen when I got home. Apple Bloom cared too much for me not to tell Applejack and Granny Smith. But it was late, and despite Princess Twilight not moving from her spot, I knew she was only staying for me.

Carefully, I placed the thin ribbon that stretched from the spine of the book into the cleft made by the pages I was reading, and as carefully as I could, closed the book. "Ah best be goin'." Aware of my ungainly body again, I pushed down with one leg at a time, rising up to my hooves.

"If you ever need to chat, McIntosh, my castle's doors are open." Twilight barely lifted her head to look at me, and I saw the eyes of a friend look up.

I nodded. "Thanks." She turned back to her book, and I realized that sitting in here all day and reading might not have been completely for my benefit.

My hooves carried my heavy frame with ease because they were the hooves of a big stallion. I used them to depart the quiet library and Twilight's castle completely. Outside, the cool breeze of evening played with my mane and tail, despite me standing still. In the few moments I loitered, the sun dropped from the sky and Princess Luna set her moon in motion.

I lifted one foreleg, and stretched it forwards. The first step was the worst, as was every single one that followed. I plodded along, keeping myself moving through the early night. With nopony about, I reached Sweet Apple Acres without stopping.

There were no lights on in the house, which suited me, so I made my way in the back door.

"Not like you to be out at this hour." Granny Smith surprised me, sitting in a corner of the kitchen—in the dark. "Somethin' the matter?"

"Ah delivered the apples to Our Town. Apple Bloom and her friends stowed along." I felt like a coward. I was avoiding even bringing it up with Granny Smith because I knew it would end up in an argument. If I had any hope of avoiding her wrath, I would need to convince Applejack and Apple Bloom first. "Ah'm tired."

With no obvious argument to pursue, Granny Smith kept quiet as I tramped off to bed. Of course, I bumped into the table, a chair, a second chair, and the wall before I found my way to the hall. Bed was welcoming, but I couldn't help imagining Feather, Smooth, Stereo, and Glamour curled up on it.

I curled up in the empty bed, yawned, and blinked. Feather Bangs was beside me, again. He cuddled close and played with my mane.

Looking around, I saw each of the other stallions, but the indistinct, hazy quality of the situation told me quite assuredly that I was dreaming. Though my mind was locked into the dream, a little part of me felt assured that I had to make this a reality.

The dream felt real. I was cuddled against what felt like Feather, but when I opened my eyes I saw a pillow instead. Giving a loud, equine snort at my fantasy, I rolled from bed feeling like I hadn't slept at all.

Stomping my heavy hooves downstairs, I ignored the empty kitchen and walked out into the predawn light. Luna's moon was still in the sky, but Celestia was clearly in the process of bringing the sun up.

I walked to the big water trough and stepped into it. Dunking myself in the glacial water, I felt shards of ice bob around where I had broken the crust. Water sloshed around, but while the trough was big, I was still bigger.

Stepping back out of the water trough, I leaned into it and dunked my head into the frigid water that remained. Jerking free, I was as awake as I could get, and clean too.

The sun peeked over the horizon, and rose into the sky to dry me off. I ignored the shivering that wanted to start, and just waited for a few more moments. I was almost dry when I heard the door open.

"What're you doin', Big Mac?" Applejack sounded surprised to see me, and while I didn't often perform this particular ritual, she should have recognized it as the way I broke off ties. After Cheerilee. After Fluttershy. Even after the one day with Marble.

"Jus' wakin' up." I shook myself just like Winona would, which meant I sent water flying everywhere. Awake, ready to face the day and my battle—to tell my sisters I was going to leave the farm.

She knew it wasn't a lie, but half-truths could sometimes trigger my sister's knack for the truth. Her eyes narrowed, and I knew what she was going to say.

"Just,"—I cut in, before she could say anything—"let things slide until after breakfast, please?" Real surprise registered on her face. "Ah came out here to get my head in order." I looked back to the horizon.

"Apple Bloom said something went wrong in Our Town." Applejack's tone was more inquisitive than accusatory, but it boiled my blood that she would keep poking.

"No even for an hour?" I turned and stared at her. Though her tone was inquisitive, she wore her usual "the truth is more important" face. "All Ah asked was an hour to get my head in order so Ah could talk to ya, an' ya couldn't give me that?!"

My temper had gotten the better of me. I looked at Applejack, studied her shocked expression, and let out a deep sigh. "You wanna know on an empty stomach, well alright." I walked to the side of the house and sat down on one of the hay bales stacked against the wall. "Ah thought Ah was in love for keeps."

Her expression changed from hurt to panic. My eldest sister was never one to talk about romance, and I think she might have been a touch embarrassed about my efforts to find "the one."

I continued, because now that Applejack knew the subject matter, she would have happily ignored it forever. "But the truth is Ah met somepony else. Somepony who makes me feel happy and warm." Applejack's expression seemed to recover, she was hoping this would end on a happy note—I could tell. "They travel around Equestria, making ponies happy and—and he asked me to join him."

Applejack looked about to say something, then closed her mouth and took on a shocked expression that dwarfed every emotion she had shown so far. "Yer leavin'?"

This wasn't how things were meant to go. I was meant to spend a few days relaxing, thinking things over, then another day explaining to my kin that I wanted to live elsewhere. "Ah need to think about it. Ah wanted to spend the morning doin' that, but somepony interrupted." I climbed off the hay and turned to the house.

Ignoring the obvious shock my sister was in, I walked inside and sat down at the kitchen table. "Hiya Granny." Being in Sweet Apple Acres' kitchen pushed me back into the old ways of Sweet Apple Acres, and I could forget about my problems.

"Ah hope yer hungry!" Granny Smith seemed to have forgotten all about the incident the previous night, and a casual eye would lead me to think she hadn't heard any of what me and Applejack had been talking about. I wasn't stupid, though, and neither was Granny Smith. Her hearing was pretty keen too.

"Sure am, Granny." No sooner had I said so than Granny Smith slid a plate stacked with pancakes before me. "Thanks!" My granny's pancakes were the first thing I could add to the list of "stuff I would miss." I had them covered in dripping honey before she could even turn back to the stove.

By the time Apple Bloom walked into the kitchen, I managed to keep from uttering a word thanks to the pancakes. With judicious planning, I hopped to keep it that way.

"Hiya Granny. Hiya Big Mac." As Apple Bloom took her seat, Applejack walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table too.

The tension was thick, and ripe as a red apple. I was almost through my pancakes when Granny brought more over and dropped them on my plate—I would have kissed her if I weren't eating. I slowed down my chewing, realizing that it was a waiting game now.

Apple Bloom, having eaten some pancakes of her own, jumped to her hooves. "Ah'm off to school! Bye everypony!"

I looked to Applejack, and swallowed the last of my pancake once Apple Bloom had been out the door for ten seconds. "Ah'm gonna do some work."

Granny Smith grabbed my plate as I stood up. "Some plowin' needs doin' in the south field." She poked my shoulder with a hoof. "Should take ya a day 'r two."

"Eeyup." The word was my shield, and I used it as such while escaping the house.

Applejack didn't wait as long as I did to start talking. "Ah don't know what's going on with Big Mac. He said—he said some mighty confusin' things earlier."

I ignored their conversation and aimed myself for the barn where we kept the plow. A long day was ahead, but it was just what I needed to help me think. Carrying the plow out to the field Granny said, I set it into the ground in one corner, and harnessed myself to it.

The first step was always a tough one. I leaned forward with all the strength my oversize body could muster, and felt the clod break up behind me. Each step now was still a tough slog, but it was not beyond me.

I was all the way to the end of the row before I even started to unwind enough to think. Turning, I leaned back into the traces and started back the other direction. I began at the start of the night, then reined in my thoughts and started earlier, when Feather had invited us to dinner.

He was sincere, I realized. He wanted to give us both a good time—if a little more "good" than most restaurants—and let us join back up for a night of continued snuggles. The moment I arrived, however, I could see his eyes were drifting to me more than Sugar's. He was falling in love with—

When pulling a heavy, resistive load like a plow, you didn't have to jerk backwards to stop from hitting something in your way. So when I realized that Granny Smith was standing in the middle of the row I was plowing, just a quarter pony-length in front of me, I just stopped. "G-Granny?"

"What'n Tarnation 'd you tell yer sister?" Granny Smith shoved a glass towards me, and I grabbed it from her lest it spill. "Ah spent most 'r the mornin' talkin' with 'er, and Ah don't think she finished a single sentence."

"Ah got short with her." I sipped at the glass, and downed the whole, long drink of apple juice before realizing it. "She was pokin' her nose into my busi…" I trailed off, Granny's expression was a warning, like seeing a tree flattened in the wake of a tornado.

"Ya dang fool! She loves ya!" Granny Smith thumped me on the chest. "She's ya sister! O' course she's gonna shove her fool nose inner ya business! She cares for ya!" Each sentence was punctuated by another thud against my big, muscled chest.

I opened my mouth to counter Granny's words, but felt the sting of truth in them. I sighed and hung my head. "Ah probably need to apologize."

"Fer getting short with 'er. Not for the rest o' it." Granny Smith's hoof pushed up under my chin, making me look up and into her eyes. "Ya really fancy this colt, eh?" I was frozen, stuck in the moment of realization that I was talking to Granny Smith about Feather Bangs, but managed to nod a little. "And 'e likes ya back?"

Just the memory of the look on Feather's face made me smile. I nodded again. "Eeyup."

"Ah remember the first time Ah met a fine stallion." She let out a wistful sigh. " 'E said 'e liked me, too. Then 'e ended up chasin' a Pear!" Again Granny poked me in the chest. "Love with this 'ere thing, but don't neglect this'un." She reached up and tapped the side of my head.

I could have almost hated how right she was. "Yeah, that's the problem, Granny. Ah like him with both." A smile pulled all the way across my face, and I knew I had the dumbest, most stereotypical in-love expression possible, but there was nothing else for it.

"But regardless of what ya do with this here feller, yer not about ta leave without talkin' to Applejack." Granny Smith poured out another glass of juice from the jug balanced on her back, and passed it to me.

While drinking the second glass, I tried to think of a way to thank Granny for the advice that she wouldn't take umbrage to. In the end—and with the glass empty—I took the easy way out. "Thanks, Granny Smith, Ah needed that."

"Figured. Ah put yer lunch down over by that tree." Granny Smith gestured to an old apple tree on the edge of the field. "Don't forget to eat it." And with that, she collected the glass and, with that rickety gait that belied her strength, walked away.

"Yes, Granny." Feeling refreshed and renewed of spirit, I leaned forward into the traces and started plowing again.

Celestia's sun was warm on my back, and the plow seemed to be an apt stand-in for all my responsibilities at the farm. Turning around at the end of the row, I started plowing back the other way.

What would it cost me to leave all this? I thought, running over the problem in my head. I had the farm itself: it supported me as I supported it. Family: Applejack and Apple Bloom—the two best sisters in the whole of Equestria—Granny Smith, and the whole Apple clan.

I reached the end of another row before finishing the thought. I turned the plow around, and started back. But I wasn't giving up the Apple clan. Anywhere you went in Equestria, there was an Apple. It made me smile to think that now there would be one who wanders a little more.

Another row. Turning around, I felt a little lighter as I leaned back into the plow's weight. The farm. I would have to support myself, which meant learning from Feather Bangs how to do things his way. Just the prospect of learning something that didn't rely completely on my brute strength sent a shiver of anticipation through me.

At the end of yet another row, I turned and faced back at the field. Applejack. I owed a lot to my eldest sister. When she returned from Manehatten, I felt like the world was once again on track, and the track was dead straight and rock-solid. She had never offered to compete against me for strength, and it was something I appreciated, even if I hoped secretly that she would be stronger than me.

When I turned at the end of the row, I kept my focus on Applejack—she's important to me. What would I lose? She was a steady companion, the captain of the ship known as Sweet Apple Acres, and somepony I never wanted to hurt. We need to talk more, and I need to apologize. I breathed out a slow breath, my thoughts keeping on track, but were just moving slowly.

I turned around again, and turned my focus to my other sister. Apple Bloom. Being part of her life meant more to me than my reputation, my dignity, and almost everything else in my life. I stumbled in my slow, steady work at the thought that I had closed up a barrier to her, when she had done her best to understand my situation. If I could blame Feather Bangs for how I had treated my family, my choice would have been easy.

The row ended, and I worked the plow around again. The hole I had dug was my own doing, not Feather's. I had let myself feel trapped here, and it had taken Granny to club me over the head with it to see it. Which, of course, brought me to Granny Smith. I thought she would have been the worst of my family to talk to about Feather.

Turning around again, I noticed the sun was a little past its peak. Reaching to the traces, I unfastened myself from the plow and walked across to the tree Granny had pointed out. I reached the shade of the old tree, and sat down under it.

Opening the picnic basket Granny Smith had left, I found a big bottle of apple cider, a pair of sandwiches, and a little apple pie. Popping the cork on the cider, I took a long pull from the bottle and sighed.

A sandwich was next, and I chewed slowly on it, reminded of how my date with Sugar had gone, and more particularly the evening after it. I closed my eyes, my lunch break a literal break from my worries. While I ate my sandwiches, I remembered Feathered speaking softly in my ear, while Glamour played his music.

The touch of soft lips to my ear was almost real. I could smell Feather's wagon, and even Smooth's love for licking my anus felt real again. I ate slowly, and celebrated my memories and the magic fantasy they could take me back to.

My muscles eased, and when I finally finished the last bite of my sandwiches, I opened my eyes to see the sun far down in the horizon. I blinked a few times in shock. "Consarn it!"

"You really have it bad for him, don't ya?" Applejack's voice came from the middle of the field. My sister was all hooked up to the plow, and was pulling it steadily across the field.

"What're you doin'?" Seeing Applejack pulling the plow, something everypony had seen as my job, was somewhat of a relief, although there was a touch of annoyance too.

Applejack stopped and reached for the traces, unhooking herself; I could see she had plowed four rows while I slept. "Just tryin' it on fer size."

I walked across the field, the image of Applejack pulling the plow so easily burned into my memory; she was stronger than me. At once it was both a relief and not fair. All my life I had had to put up with being a monster of a pony, size wise, just to have such strength, and here my smaller sister—who could wear all the dresses I could ever wish to fit into—was stronger.

Granny Smith's message cut through the anger I felt, and it hissed and fell away from me. "Sorry." I hung my head and looked at Applejack's hooves.

"About what?" Her tone sounded genuine, but with my sister there was the truth, and "the truth."

"Ah was a bit short wit' ya." Every ounce of pride squeezed through the head of a pin as I said the words.

Applejack just shook her head at me. I was ready to get angry at what seemed like condescension, but thankfully my nature of slow deliberation saved me. When she looked at me, I felt a rainbow grow inside. "Ah see it that we both went a little far. Yer my brother, an' I shouldn't have gone and gotten all into your business."

I opened my mouth to counter her comment, but closed it again and lifted my hoof instead. The only thing that was good about being such a big stallion was being able to hug somepony and make sure you mean it. She moved in and we each wrapped strong forelegs around the other.

"Ah'm gonna miss you." We both said the words, including the same drawl, at exactly the same time.

Tears welled up in my eyes. "You first."

"Ah'm gonna miss you, big brother." Applejack squeezed, showing off more than her usual amount of strength. "Ya looked after the farm while Ah was away, an' ya gave me the time to become me again."

Seeing my moment, I had my say. "And Ah'm gonna miss you, too. Ah was not handling this place right. Ah couldn't make the decisions that needed makin'. You save our farm—your farm."

"So yer definitely goin'? No foolin'?" Applejack squeezed me one more time, and I realized just how strong she might be.

When she let go, I nodded. "Eeyup. At least to see what it's like. Ah remember a young mare tellin' me you have to see what something is like at least once."

"Sounds like a mare who really had her head on straight." Her grin wide, Applejack straightened her hat and gestured back to the plow. "Why don't you take the day off to get everything square in yer head. Yer gonna have t' tell Granny, you know?"

"Ah got it covered." I had to smirk a little at that. "Apple Bloom'll be the hardest. I owe her an apology. She tried t' help me understand what I had goin' on, and I threw her away."

"Yeah. Ah saw the mess." Pulling the traces back onto her harness, Applejack raised an eyebrow at me. "Go on, git. Ah got this."

It was mid-afternoon on a school-day: I knew where to go. My heavy legs carried me back to the main farm, and then along the path to the front gate. I heard the racket coming from the little clubhouse before I saw it.

"… using mind-control magic!" Scootaloo's tone was clear, and shrill.

"Don't be ridiculous." Apple Bloom, ever the voice of reason. "It's a vampony using their hypnotism on him!"

A muffled, softer reply was Sweetie Belle, and I dreaded what her idea was.

When I rounded a bend in the path, and was visible to those in the clubhouse—through the recent addition of a large window that was a combination of Sweetie Belle's cooking, and Apple Bloom's alchemy—all three voices went silent.

They waited for me to walk right up to the clubhouse before I suddenly found myself assaulted by garlic. "Apple Bloom!" My little sister looked completely unrepentant, and adorable. "Ah'm not bein' hypno-whatsit by a vampony!"

Apple Bloom's eyes narrowed. "How'd you know it was a vampony?"

To assuage her fears—and because I liked the stuff—I bit into a clove and gulped it down. The spice was strong in my mouth, but it was part of my penance to my littlest sister. "See?"

"You could still be mind-controlled. Like when Starlight Glimmer made you keep talking, and you came to us and the best we could do was to find that rope and—" Scootaloo broke off her explanation, and glared at me with her forehooves on her hips—standing upright.

"Ah'd remember if that happened again." I turned my head to Sweetie Belle, dreading to hear what her explanation was.

All three crusaders gasped, and pulled aside into a huddle. I could barely hear their whispered words, but when they broke apart, Apple Bloom turned to me and puffed out her chest. "They think you're under Queen Chrysalis' control." Her face broke into a huge grin.

"Y'all were with me all the way there and back. There weren't no time to do any of that." I sucked up my pride. "I came to apologize, Apple Bloom." Lifting one huge (compared to Apple Bloom) hoof up, I ruffled her mane. "You were just tryin' t' help."

I had no hope of dodging the yellow and red missile that launched at me. Rather than try, I instead hooked one foreleg around Apple Bloom, and hugged her. Softer, so her friends didn't hear, I added, "An' if you wanna talk a bit later, Ah'll try t' not throw hay bales at ya."

Her pure, tinkling laugh was infectious. "Ah like it when ya throw hay bales, Big Mac." She squeezed me for all she was worth, and while it wasn't a potentially spine-crushing huge like I suspected Applejack could give, it wasn't the hug of a tiny filly.

Letting go of Apple Bloom, I waved to her friends and turned back for the house. Granny Smith was in the kitchen, and I gave her a smile as I headed through to my bedroom.

I looked into the mirror in my room and a big, red, and slightly concerned-looking stallion gazed back at me. My memories couldn't help but overlay Feather and his friends over my own shape, and I couldn't believe they wanted me to join them.

Feather was compact, beautiful, and masculine in ways that I was almost a parody of. Twilight had told me there was no spell to transform a pony permanently, so then what was Feather going to use? The unsure stallion in the mirror didn't have any answers for me. I needed to pass some time and think.

Grabbing the library card from my dressing table, I headed back out and to the kitchen. Granny was still there, baking away, and not for the first time I had to wonder just how much she worked. I was the only one of my siblings who had watched Granny's slow decline; Applejack had gone to Manehattan for a time, and Apple Bloom had always known her in her (more or less) current situation.

Putting the card on the table, I stepped outside into the clear day, only to have a blue pegasus almost under my forehooves. "Hey!" Rainbow Dash's agility was so far beyond my own as to almost make her a completely different species.

"Sorry!" I backed up a step before even realizing she had jumped back four. "Excuse me." Nodding my head, I moved forward again, assuming Rainbow Dash would wait for me. She didn't. I had to stop again lest I walk right over one of my sister's best friends.

I waited for her to back up again, and this time just walked. "Applejack's plowin' the back field." I started walking for the water trough to clean off the grime of the work I had done.

"Yeah, Apple Bloom told me." Rainbow Dash didn't head into the house, or zoom off to find Applejack. Instead, the pegasus followed me. "Twilight said you might want to chat about some things."

I froze. The next few words from her would decide my afternoon. I turned my head to look at Rainbow Dash, and realized there was no guile in her. Rainbow Dash was, almost quite literally, worse than my sister at telling lies. "Did she?"

"Yeah. She told me that of everypony she knew well, I was the best suited to talk to you. If you ask me, I think she has been opening one too many old books. I keep warning Twilight that it isn't healthy." Nothing. Twilight hadn't told Rainbow Dash anything about my situation, but had called in her close friend for me.

"Stallion-troubles." I turned back to the trough and climbed into it.

"Whoa! Hold on! I'm not a—"

"Ah mean with another stallion." It seemed Rainbow Dash would need pictures painted, detailed ones, possibly with diagrams. "Ah fell pretty hard."

"Oh." I watched Rainbow Dash walk around to stand before the trough. "OH! That's why she asked me!" I had the distinct honor of seeing a short, "compact" pegasus puffing out her chest in pride. Closing her eyes and folding a wing before her chest, Rainbow Dash nodded as if she were the master of her craft (and if this was about flying, that would be true). "Of course Twilight got her only friend into stallions to come talk to you."

I had guessed as much. My sister and Pinkie Pie had been a done-deal for quite some time, and I thought I remembered hearing about Fluttershy and Tree Hugger. Rarity was a surprise, as was Twilight. "So what do I do?"

Rainbow fluffed her wings down and looked at me as if the next few words would be the most important of my life. "Is he hot?" I nodded. "Then go for it. Have some fun, Big Mac."

It was the single most "Rainbow Dash" piece of advice I could imagine, but hearing somepony who had no vested interest telling me was a rush. I looked up at her with a little awe (and if truth be told, a fair bit of respect). I paused a moment to let her advice set in, and smiled. "Thanks."

"So, who is it?" Rainbow Dash took a few steps to the side and leaned against the wall. "Is it Thunderlane? Because I could swear that stallion loves ass so much he—"

"Feather Bangs." At my pronouncement I watched her face turn to confusion. "He isn't from around here."

"You don't say. Is he a pegasus? Are you going to join the wing-appreciation club?" Her tone implied what Rainbow Dash thought of stallions without wings.

Sloshing around in the water, I shook my head. "Nnope. Earth pony like me. He has a good friend who's a unicorn." My memories of Glamour Trot came back, and I could almost taste his musk again.

"Whoa, hold on!" Rainbow Dash broke me from my reverie and held her hooves up. I noticed both her wings were high in the air. "That look… What is going on here, McIntosh? Is this Feather Bangs starting a—a harem of stallions?"

"M-Maybe." I hadn't actually thought about that angle of things. Feather had seemed to be in charge, that was certain. "Probably."

"He knows about your dress-ups?" Rainbow's words cut through my musing like a knife through water (hot butter wasn't a sufficient comparison). My look must have told her she had hit a nerve, because she was quick to add, "What? It's getting pretty obvious all these bets keep getting lost on purpose. I know you are stronger than Applejack."

"Nnope." I reached for the only topic-slide I could take away from the snake in the conversation. "She's stronger'n me. Ah was pullin' a plow earlier, and she took a turn and made it look easy."

"Wow, really? I would have thought—what with all your size and muscle—that you would be way stronger than her." As I climbed out of the tub, Rainbow Dash stood up straight and flapped her wings. I had heard of mares getting a "blow-dry" before, but the gusts of wind from Rainbow Dash's small-seeming wings almost tipped me over. They did get me dry, though.

"Thanks." I shook, and not a drop of water came from my coat.

Rainbow Dash struck her "it was nothing" pose, and held a hoof up in the air. "It was nothing." Eeyup, I had called it.

I lifted a hoof and connected with hers, getting a sharp clopping sound. "No." I took a deep breath. "Not just fer the blow-job. I mean thanks for the advice." As I explained myself, I noticed Rainbow Dash's eyes widen, her wings shoot up, and a bright rush of color reach her cheeks. "What?"

"That—that wasn't a blow-job."

We both stared at each other for a few seconds, and perfectly timed we broke into laughter together. It felt good to laugh, even if it was at myself. Actually, it was even better to laugh at myself.

The door to the house banged open. "What'n the world're you two cacklin' about? Are you going to the library or not?" Granny Smith stood in the doorway holding the library card.

I turned from looking at Granny back to Rainbow Dash, and held up my hoof. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. We gotta stick together." Her hoof collided with mine, and to my surprise she used me as a springboard to launch herself backwards and into the air.

Granny Smith wobbled her way up beside me and passed me the library card. "That'n is entirely too fast t' flitter about. She needs to come down to earth a bit!"

"Nnope." I risked Granny Smith's ire by disagreeing, and saw her eyes narrow as a result. "She told me somethin' Ah needed to hear." I took the card from Granny's outstretched hoof, and leaned closer to kiss her chastely on the cheek. "Thanks, Granny."

I trotted to the castle this time; my hooves feeling oddly light. I knocked on the front door and waited. A few moments later Starlight Glimmer opened up. "Uh…" Ever since she had used her mind-magic on me, I just hadn't talked to her as much as before—it was horribly ironic.

"Twilight and her friends had to go on a friendship emergency. You can go through to the library if you want." Starlight seemed to avoid looking me in the eyes once she had identified me.

"Thanks." It was becoming my new favorite word. An odd pain hit me, and I realized this might be the last time I see Starlight Glimmer. "Starlight. I don't have time for grudges. You're Twilight's friend, and that is enough for me to give you another chance."

Her morose expression flipped so much I was almost blinded by it. A beautiful smile bloomed on Starlight Glimmer's face, and it felt good to have given her this. It wasn't like it cost me anything. "Big McIntosh, I—"

"Just Big Mac is fine." I cocked a smile and pointed inside with my hoof. "Mind if we chat inside? There is a book I want to finish."

Starlight Glimmer's mouth opened and closed a few times, and I had the distinct impression she didn't believe that I actually came here to read. As my mind processed that fact, and I realized the only other reason I might be coming here so frequently, I blushed. Celestia be praised for red fur.

"Oh. Uh. Sure I guess." Starlight Glimmer, personal student to Princess Twilight Sparkle, most amazing unicorn sorceress anypony had ever seen, was tongue-tied. It was great.

I followed her inside, closed the door behind me, and proceeded towards the library. "Twilight was the only one." I let the words hang in the air a moment, teasing Starlight's sensibilities, before I saved her. "Going on the friendship emergency, I mean."

Starlight Glimmer seemed to miss a few steps in her stride. "Oh, no! This time it was her and Fluttershy. Something to do with the breezies."

We reached the library with no further words, and I could see the book I had been reading the previous day was still on its low lectern. I walked right up and lay down with it. Opening the book to my mark, I slowly started reading the page. "Ah won't lie. Ah didn't like you using that mind-spell on me."

"I really got carried away. You should have seen what happened to everypony else!" Starlight Glimmer's tone spoke volumes about her feeling on mind magic. If I didn't know better I would say there was a vow or two said. "I'm really sorry, Big Mac."

"Apology accepted." I turned and saw the sincere look on her face. "But how are you doin' with those kinda spells? Are ya getting' better with 'em?"

Shock. Panic. Starlight wouldn't have looked more surprised if I had asked her to marry me. "What? No! I won't use anything like that ever again!" She shook her head and scrunched up her mouth as if she had bitten a lemon.

"Why not? Seems like if somepony really bad is doin' bad things, and you can't get 'em to stop, that would be a good way to." I finished with the page and gently turned it with my huge hoof. "An' ya seemed t' be good with it."

"But it was making ponies do things against their will. It's not like I haven't got a bad track record on that front. Enslaving a whole village, etcetera, etcetera." She waved a hoof in the air, and I noticed she didn't even have a book out.

"Ya seem t' have a better idea now, of when not t' use it?" I knew the book so well that I barely needed to look down the page. Still, I focused on working each word over, even as I spoke. When there was no reply from Starlight, I turned my head to look at her. "Well?"

"All the time?" For a brief few seconds all the titles and power of Starlight Glimmer faded, and a young mare around my age, who looked a little scared of herself, looked back at me.

"Nnope. Think fer a second. What if that big guy, Tirek, came back? What if he was all 'Ah'm gonna destroy you all!' again? Would it be wrong to tell him he should take a nap, and make him?" When I finished, I saw more shock on Starlight's face. "Ah don't mean to use those crazy control spells, but just something to calm somepony down, make them less likely to hurt themselves or others."

She didn't reply, and I didn't have anything further to say. I settled a little further into the cushions and kept reading. I didn't even notice when she left, or when the sun came down.

I stretched, yawned, and realized I was hungry and tired. Sitting, then standing up, I heard joints pop and creak at the lack of movement and faced again with a non-sedentary position. I folded the book closed with the bookmark hanging clear of it, turned, and left the Castle of Friendship.

The walk home, in the dark, was quiet and calm. When I reached Sweet Apple Acres, it was dark again. Sneaking inside, I found my bed and slept peacefully. I had made my final decision.

Author's Notes:

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and I they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, I they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! I They will pick one question per chapter.

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