The City Upon a Hill
by GaPJaxie
First published
The innocent have nothing to hide.
Once there was a monster, whose flesh was made of steel,
A pony’s magic bound her, and she was made to kneel,
She was the pony’s servant, saw her sheltered, safe, and fed,
But when the monster left, it was the pony’s heart that bled.
Takes place seven years before the events of Familiar.
Based heavily on the sage writing advice of Nice Hat. Preread by NikitaKitten.
Chapter 1
“Somepony’s looking good today!”
The text message came with a picture. It came with a picture of Rainbow Dash from behind, caught with her mane in the sunlight and her tail wrapped around her hips. It had her bent over her desk, her head turned so one could just see the glasses perched on the end of her muzzle and catch the faintest hint of her smile. It made her look smart, attractive—mature beyond her soon-to-be-sixteen years. Like jailbait.
Rainbow lifted her head from her desk and looked in the direction the picture was taken from. There were no other students there, but there was a window at the edge of the classroom. It overlooked school grounds full of bushes and cover, and beyond that, the city.
The commlink on her ankle buzzed and produced a beep only Rainbow Dash could hear. She tapped it with her off-hoof and read the next message.
“:)”
The little hairs of her coat stood up on end. She forced herself to take a deep breath, and turned back to her desk. She focused on her book. The lesson for the day was about aluminum. Which was fine.
Rainbow had always liked school. She wasn’t the smartest student, and she didn’t really like the subject matter, but school wasn’t about learning. If a pony wanted to learn about aluminum, they could get a personalized robotic tutor. They could get a personalized robotic tutor primarily made of aluminum if they really wanted. School was about learning to interact with other ponies even if you weren’t necessarily friends with them. Boring students got points for sitting quietly and being civil, but Rainbow always got her points by talking. She asked the interesting ponies questions, and made them feel good when they answered. She got to meet new ponies every day. It was fun.
Her commlink buzzed. She tried to ignore it. She buried her nose in her book and stared at a chart on the average cost of aluminum oxide over time, glaring at it until her eyes hurt. The cuff buzzed again. Her hoof tapped the touch screen.
“Across the room, on your left. Brown mare with a white mane.” Then, “You’re getting noticed all over!”
Rainbow lifted her head. The classroom was a circle with long curved desks centered around an open space, and opposite her on the left there was indeed a young mare.
She looked a little older. Maybe she was seventeen or maybe she was an early bloomer, but she’d lost all traces of that fillyhood awkwardness. She kept her mane long and decorated her ears with silver earrings that matched her cutie mark. Rainbow wasn’t sure if they were a way of bragging that she’d found her special talent or if she just thought they looked pretty, but either way they made her seem mature. And when Rainbow looked at her, she looked back.
Their eyes met. She smiled. Before she could stop herself, Rainbow smiled too. The mare across the room blushed. Rainbow looked back at her book, but it was too late.
She could hear the other mare standing up. Hooves clicked on the hardwood floor. Rainbow’s shoulders scrunched and her tail tucked in tight between her legs. She focused on a paragraph about the Neighyer process.
“Hey,” the mare said softly. She was right by Rainbow’s side.
“Hey,” Rainbow turned to face her. She looked just as good up close. “What’s up?”
“Not much. I don’t think we’ve met before.” She extended a hoof. “I’m Silver Spanner.”
“Rainbow Dash.” Their hooves met with a click. A soft chime sounded from Rainbow’s desk, and a green light flashed. She got two points for affably meeting somepony new. Silver Spanner giggled. She had a good voice, light and melodious.
“You know you can disable that, right?” The smile stayed on her face. On another student, it would have seemed mocking, but she seemed friendly. She glanced at Rainbow’s flanks, and it wasn’t to comment on the absence of a cutie mark.
Rainbow looked back at the window. There was still nopony in sight. “Yeah.” She swallowed. Her mouth was suddenly dry. “But, I shouldn’t.”
Rainbow glanced at the mare’s flanks, leaning over so she could get a better look. Then Rainbow realized what she was doing, and her ears folded tight against her head.
“If that’s what you want.” The mare giggled again. “Mind if I ask you for help?”
“I’m a little busy.” A red light flashed. Her desk let out an angry beep.
Her wrist-cuff buzzed.
“Oh, I know.” The mare hesitated for a moment, then shook her head. “I just meant, later. We’ve got that building project this afternoon, right? I always do the team projects with Slapshot, but she’s, you know. Sick today. Probably going to go home early.” Rainbow knew Slapshot. She was across the room. She didn’t look sick.
“So…” Silver Spanner cleared her throat. She smiled again. “You want to be my project partner? Hang out a bit?”
Rainbow stared at Silver.
If she smiled back and said yes, they would hang out. There would be messages about how attractive she was, about her and other mares, about how good it was she was maturing at her own rate. There would be pictures of them nuzzling, or hugging. Maybe, if things got that far, there would be pictures of them together. Pictures of Rainbow with her tail up. Pictures of Rainbow losing her virginity to this cute girl across the way.
If she scowled and said that Slapshot looked fine, Silver would wander back dejected. Her desk would give an angry little buzz. There’d be pictures of her with a nasty look on her face. There’d be pictures of her rejecting this sweet creature. There would be questions about why she was so anti-social. There would be questions about why she couldn’t accept who she is. There would be questions about why she made things so hard on herself.
If she made an excuse, there would be pictures of her lying. And then the messages would come.
She couldn’t decide what to do. The wheels turned in her head, but no answers emerged. She realized, too late, that her answer had been chosen by default. She’d chosen to sit there with a dumb look on her face, until Silver frowned.
Rainbow’s commlink buzzed. Then it buzzed again. There were more pictures inside. More messages. She was out of options and out of time. So she did the only thing she could do.
She grabbed Silver Spanner’s head, yanked her forward, and smashed her face into the hardwood desk.
Chapter 2
“I don’t understand, Rainbow.” Rainbow’s mother stared out the window of the air car, watching the terrain roll past. Her hooves were folded tight under her body, like a sitting cat, and her mouth was pulled down into a frown. Silence hung between them for a time.
“I just don’t understand,” she repeated.
Rainbow said nothing. She was seated across the car, staring out another part of the wrap-around window. The world beyond the glass had only two colors: blue and green. There were no structures between the vast cities, or at least, none that could be inhabited by ponies. There was only the Garden. There were trees the size of buildings, grassy fields that extended for hundreds of miles, and flower buds larger than ponies. Smoke stacks emerged from the ground at regular intervals, their surfaces entirely covered in greedy vines. The Garden lived off the fumes of the Industrial Machine. Celestia bore it upon her back, and with her breath, gave it life.
Then there was the sky. It was all blue. Not a cloud in sight.
“Rainbow…” Her mother sighed. “Are you even listening?”
“Not really. No.” The air car was going over seven hundred miles an hour. Even if she could force the door open, leaping out of it would break every bone in her body.
Her mother let out a sigh, dragging her hoof over her face. Her horn glowed, and she rubbed at her eyes. “You were doing so well. So well. You were doing well in school, and you were getting along with the other foals, and I think the new medication was really working. And then you go and…” She make a helpless gesture with a hoof. “And then you go and do something like this, and I really don’t understand why.”
“Because I’m emotionally disturbed, remember?” Rainbow shrugged. Her eyes stayed out the window. “I’m a crazy pony.”
“No, Rainbow. That is not true,” her mother said, her tone firm. She turned to look at Rainbow head on. “I know sometimes you get upset, and I know sometimes you can be impulsive, but you’re not violent. You’re a good pony.”
“The evidence suggests otherwise.”
“Rainbow, look at me,” her mother ordered. Rainbow turned away from the window. When she met her mother’s gaze, she shrunk back. Her tail tucked in under her, and her shoulders scrunched tight together. She made herself look small. “Why did you attack that filly?”
“She was hitting on me,” Rainbow’s voice wavered. “It’s gross. Mares are gross.”
“No, they aren’t!” She gestured with a hoof, leaning towards Rainbow. “Dear, we’ve talked about this. You’re bisexual. You are attracted to both stallions and mares. And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t know where you got this idea it was somehow offensive or shameful.”
“I’m not into mares.”
“You realize we all saw the video of you attacking that poor filly? Me, your teachers, the principal, the police?” Her mother’s tone turned sharp, and she let out a breath through her teeth. “The video in which you are quite clearly checking out her rear when she says hello to you? Gaze analysis doesn’t lie. And neither does the Spitfire poster you have in your room.”
“I didn’t want to be noticed, okay!?”
“You spent nearly half an hour this morning trying on different tail scrunchies to see which one made you look the prettiest.” Her mother threw up a hoof. “Then you spent another twenty minutes getting the perfect cute selfie to post where the whole class could see it!”
Rainbow looked down at her hooves. She said nothing. So her mother sighed, and softened her tone, and leaned all the way across the air car to give her daughter a hug. “I’m sorry. I know you’re really upset right now, even if I don’t understand why. I don’t want to yell at you.”
She held the hug for a time, and even gave Rainbow an extra reassuring squeeze. But then she leaned back and looked Rainbow in the eye. “But this time it was because a filly smiled at you, and last time it was because somepony called you stupid, and the time before that it was because you didn’t like the way your manecut looked. Those are excuses. Can you tell me what’s really wrong?”
Rainbow started to turn to the window. “Don’t you look away,” her mother warned. Her head snapped back. Their eyes met across the middle once again.
“I…” Rainbow swallowed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Her mother nodded. “Why don’t you want to talk about it?”
“I just… I don’t! Okay?” Her wings parted half an inch from her side. “I don’t want to talk about it!”
“It’s okay,” her mother cooed. “I understand. You’re upset. That’s okay. I just want to understand. Just tell me what it is you don’t want to talk about.”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Rainbow bellowed, her voice cracking as it rose to a shout. “Leave me alone! Can we just be quiet until we get home!?”
“Sure, sure.” Her mother’s voice was soft and gentle. “But can you tell me why you want us to be quiet?”
“Because I said I don’t want to talk!” Rainbow’s voice rose in volume and pitch until she was screaming, the sound echoing around the tiny space. “Because I said I don’t want to talk! Shut up! Do you understand!? Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! No talky. Do you fucking understand, you stupid bitch?”
Her mother sat in silence as Rainbow bellowed. Her face stayed impassive for the entire rant, and she waited until Rainbow had screamed herself out. She watched Rainbow draw deep pants after her tirade. Finally, she asked: “Does calling your mother a ‘stupid bitch’ make you feel better, Rainbow?”
Rainbow’s breath caught in her throat. “No!” she snapped. “I don’t…” Her voice cracked again, wavering up and down as she spoke. “I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“I know you’re hurting right now.” Her mother’s voice was soothing and calm. “And I know sometimes when ponies are hurting, they take it out on the ponies around them, and I’m an easy target because you know I’ll always love you no matter what. But I want you to think about this. I want you to think about this. When you take out your pain on the ponies who care about you, do you feel better or worse?”
Rainbow didn’t answer, and so her mother repeated: “Better or worse?”
“Worse.” Rainbow sniffled. “I feel worse, okay?”
“That’s right.” Her mother took a deep breath, and then let it out. “Rainbow, you love me, don’t you?”
“Y-yes.” Rainbow lifted her ears quickly. Her eyes searched her mother’s face. “Yes. Of course I love you, mom.”
“You want me to be happy?” Rainbow’s mother asked. Rainbow nodded. “Well you know what would make me more happy than anything? Seeing you get better. But I can’t do it for you. I can’t make you better. I can give you advice, and I can encourage you, and I can make sure you have whatever support you need, but you have to make you better. And the first part of that is you have to want to get better. Do you want to get better, Rainbow?”
After a moment, Rainbow nodded. Her eyes stayed on the aircar’s floor. “Rainbow,” her mother warned. Her head snapped back up. “Say it, please?”
It took her a moment. She had to swallow the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. “I want to get better. I don’t…” She drew a shaky breath. “I don’t like picking fights and getting in trouble all the time.”
“I know. I know you don’t like it. You’re a good pony, Rainbow Dash, and I love you.” Her mother’s horn glowed, and with her magic, she adjusted her daughter’s bangs. She brushed back Rainbow’s tail. “Now can you please tell me what’s really wrong?”
“I don’t…” Rainbow swallowed again. “I just get really upset sometimes. I’m just sitting there and suddenly my chest gets all tight, and I’m all anxious and I don’t like being around ponies. It just happens. I don’t know why.”
“Okay.” Her mother nodded. “Do you want that to stop happening?”
“Yes. Of course I do!” Rainbow’s tone was pleading.
“Good. But it’s not going to stop on its own. That means you need a plan. You need a plan to get better. Now, what did the therapist tell you? MEND. You need to mend yourself. Do you remember what that stands for?”
“Medication, exercise, nutrition, and doing stuff with friends,” Rainbow repeated the mantra. “I know.”
“Good. This needs to be your plan, Rainbow. You need to want to make you better. So here’s what I want you to do, okay? I’m not going to punish you for what happened. But I want you to write up a plan about how many hours you’re going to spend in the gym each day, and how you’re going to keep taking your medication, and how you’re going to measure that it’s all working. And then I want you to write up how you’re going to spend more time with ponies your age, and maybe even ask a mare or a stallion out.”
“Okay. I can do that.” Rainbow swallowed. “Thank you for not being angry. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry, Rainbow. I want you to get better. So after you have your plan tonight, I want you to read it to me, and then we’ll agree on it, and you can start tomorrow. Then we can talk about finding you a nice new school.”
“I… I like this school.” Rainbow cleared her throat. “I was just getting to know everypony.”
“Rainbow, do you really want to stay at a school where all the other students just saw you assault somepony because she said hello? I don’t think being shunned or teased will help you.”
“Um…” Rainbow’s ears folded back. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. Sorry. I didn’t think about that.”
“It’s okay. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about? Anything else that’s bothering you?”
Rainbow looked down at the commlink on her ankle. It was blue, and it matched her coat. She prodded it with a hoof. She didn’t have any new messages. She would soon, though.
“No,” she said. “Everything else is fine.”
Chapter 3
The house had a wind tunnel. It just appeared one day. Rainbow had been at the therapist that morning before school, and he told her mother that Rainbow should exercise more. Then her mother had a word with Apex, and by the time Rainbow got back from after-school activities in the evening, there it was. The tower they lived in had grown an entire pegasus gym, with the wind tunnel wrapped around the side.
It had no fans or rotors. It had no beginning or end. It was a giant loop around the building that accelerated air using something called electrostatic propulsion. And it was transparent. The whole thing was made of polymers more transparent than glass, so close to true invisibility it was hard to even realize they were there. Rainbow could see the whole city while she exercised. She could beat her wings, and watch the numbers go up, and pretend she was really flying.
“Perfect!” said the computer that monitored her heartbeat and the motions of her wings. It had her doing an exercise where she had to keep her heartbeat at the same rate for an hour. “Great form! Perfect!” Her commlink buzzed. “Uh-oh! Slow down!”
She lifted her wings to arrest her motion, like she was flying in the open. But in the tight confines of the tunnel, all she managed to do was catch the wind harder. It threw her backwards, and she scraped the tunnel's outer edge with her hooves. The wind abruptly died, and the lift she was depending on died with it. She rolled down the tunnel walls, ending up in an undignified tangle of limbs.
She picked herself up and took a moment to confirm she was undamaged. Then she checked her messages. There was a picture of her, taken through the glass. It showed her mid-flight, one hoof out, her legs behind her and her mane trailing in the wind. “You look like an ace flyer!”
After a moment, the cuff buzzed again. A picture appeared of her in a pile on the bottom of the tunnel. “Oops, sorry. :(”
“It’s okay,” Rainbow said out loud. “I was almost done anyway.” She walked along the tunnel floor, until she found the doorway back into the building. It opened when she came near it, and she stepped into the gym proper. It was a smaller space, occupied by weights and stretching posts and machines of all varieties.
One of those machines was Apex. He was her mother’s familiar. Like a lot of machines, he pretended to be a pony made of steel.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Dash.” He levitated a towel and a water bottle over to her, his artificial horn lit by glowing blue lines. “May I say, you were in exceptional form today.”
“Yeah.” She tossed the towel over her shoulders and chugged the water, moving towards the stairs leading up into the rest of the house.
“I should also inform you it is 12:57,” Apex went on, in the same slightly posh artificial accent. “It is time for you to take your medication.”
“I’m fine.” Rainbow Dash waved him away. “I’m feeling really steady today. I don’t need a mood stabilizer.”
“You are required to take your medication at 9 AM, 1 PM, 5 PM, and 9 PM. It is about to be 1 PM.”
“But it’s not 1 PM now, is it?” Rainbow snapped. “Is it? Huh? Are 12:57 and 1 the same thing?”
“If you do not take your medication on time, your mother has instructed me to call her so that she can come home.” Apex’s face had no ability to express. It was a blank mechanical mask. “Would you like me to call her?”
“I…”
Rainbow lifted a hoof to her head. Apex counted out three little pills, and brought her another glass of water, and she took them. “Yesterday, you complained of stomach pains after you took your afternoon medication. I have prepared some rice cakes and alfalfa which should prevent that. When you are finished, I have drawn a bath upstairs.”
“I don’t need a bath. I didn’t sweat that much. It was a really easy routine.”
“Your mother left instructions that you were to eat and bathe after your exercise was finished.”
She shook her head. “I’ll do it later. I want to go outside.”
“Ms. Fluttershy’s birthday party is in two hours, and you must complete your studying before you go. If you wish to go outside, there may be time after. But you must follow instructions first.”
“Apex, I’m fifteen, okay? I can judge how sweaty I am at any given time. I do not need to take a bath.” His blank steel mask stared back at her. “Apex!” Still, he didn’t react. She laughed a thin laugh. She crossed her hooves. “I don’t even like alfalfa.”
He turned to move upstairs ahead of her. “Then I will make something else. Do you still like honied oats?”
Rainbow did. So Apex made a plate of them, and when he put them in front of her, she ate what she was given. She did as she was told. The pills made her head feel funny. But at least she didn’t get sick to her stomach again.
After her bath, Apex blow-dried her mane and tail, and brushed them until they were smooth again. Then he brought a box of tail scrunchies for her to choose from, got a clip for her hair, and retrieved her glasses. She didn’t need them to see, but she was told that they made her look clever.
Her room was on the outer edge of the tower. Three of the walls were simple white plaster covered with shelves or decorations, or her autographed poster of Spitfire in the rain. The fourth wall was one enormous window, giving her a fantastic view of the city beyond. She could see the glittering towers, the aircars zipping past, and the little ponies on the terraces below. She could hear the festival that never ended.
The window didn’t open though. Her home was on the 180th floor of the tower. Somepony could fall. So instead, she shoved her desk up against it, so at least she could have natural light while she studied.
Her desk let out a loud, angry beep. A red light flashed. The gaze tracker had noticed she wasn’t looking at the textbook or her notes anymore, and an hour studying meant an hour studying. Not just sitting at her desk. She turned her head back to her book.
The desk beeped again. Her eyes weren’t moving left and right. She was just blankly staring at the page.
“That’s it!” Her hooves shook. She picked up the tablet she was reading from and hurled it against the wall so violently it shattered on impact. Plastic shards tumbled to the floor. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this!”
She stormed out of her room and down the main stairs. She met Apex going the other way. “Don’t you start!” she snapped at the machine. “I’m going outside. And if that means you need to call mom, then you call her. Because I can’t do this for one more stupid second!”
She stared Apex down, her face twisted into a snarl. He bowed his head to her, and stepped out of her way. The sound of a ringing commlink echoed around the house as Rainbow stormed through the living room towards the exit.
Then there was a distinctive mechanical click. A holo emitter in the wall came to life, and the floating image of Rainbow’s mother appeared between her and the door. “Rainbow?” she asked. “What’s wrong? Apex told me you needed me.”
“I’m done is what’s wrong! I’m done with the stupid gym, and with studying, and with… and. And just with all of this!” She snapped, beating her wings to hover as she shouted. It let her use all four hooves to gesture. “I can’t do this for one more stupid second so I’m going outside! And if you try to have Apex stop me I swear I will disassemble him so hard the toaster will get PTSD!”
“Woah, woah, calm down. I need you to listen to me, okay?” Her mother’s image reached out with an insubstantial hoof, light playing over Rainbow’s shoulders where it appeared to brush her. “The house is not a prison, and Apex is not your jailer. I don’t know where you got the idea he was going to lock you in.”
“I got the idea because you had him spy on me!” She spread her hooves wide. “Like you always do!”
“I asked him to check on you because I had to be in town. It’s important to me you get better, Rainbow. I only wanted to know how you were doing. If you were sticking to your plan.”
“Well, I’m not! I’m done with the plan! I can’t. Okay?” Her voice was becoming ragged. “I can’t!”
“Shhh. If you can’t, then you can’t. It’s okay.” He mother offered her a small smile. “I want you to get better. But if the plan isn’t helping, then it isn’t helping. And if you want to go outside, then of course you can go outside. Head over to Fluttershy’s early. Or… go flying. If you really need to.”
“Fine.” Rainbow drew in a sharp breath. “Fine. I will.”
“Okay. Just promise me something. Please?” The holographic image waited until Rainbow met its eyes. “It’s very important you keep doing the things that help you. It’s important to you, and it’s important to me because I love you. I know, you feel like you can’t do them. And if you really can’t, then you really can’t. That’s that, it’s nopony’s fault. We’ll make a new plan when I get home tonight.”
Her mother took a breath. “I just want you to promise me that you’ve really tried as hard as you can. That you’re not giving up.”
“Mom!”
“Just this one thing, Rainbow. Then you can go outside. Please, promise me?”
Rainbow looked down at the floor. “I promise I tried as hard as I could.”
“Okay.” The image of her mother smiled again. “Promise me you still want to get better?”
After a moment, Rainbow nodded. Her voice softened. “I promise I still want to get better.”
“Okay. If you promise me, then I believe you.” Her mother nodded. “Go outside. Do whatever you need to do to feel better. I’ll be home soon.” She reached out, and the hovering image seemed to cup Rainbow’s face with both hooves. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Rainbow said, and the image vanished. Rainbow hovered there for a time, neither moving nor speaking. Then she flew through the air where the hologram had been, and pushed open the porch door.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and all around her was the greatest city ponykind’s children had ever constructed. She could fly around the grand towers, each a work of art. She could land on the vast terraces and explore the hives of pony culture there. She could hurl herself into the guts of the Industrial Machine, or fall into the great crevices that went all the way to the molten planet core, certain that Celestia would not let her die.
Or she could just go to Fluttershy’s early.
But she didn’t do any of those things. She walked to the edge of the porch, and put a hoof up on the rail. It was a small porch. Her mother didn’t like being outside, and when Rainbow had been little and was learning to fly, she’d been terrified every time Rainbow went over the railing.
There was a little garden though, with three neatly tended beds of flowers. Apex tended it. Rainbow vaguely recalled she'd ordered him to build it at some point, but she’d forgotten why she did it. They never ate the flowers, and the garden wasn’t exceptionally pretty.
She watched the garden for a while. Then she watched the city. Then she went back inside, went up to her desk, and finished her studying. The desk let out a happy chime, and a green light lit up.
It was nearly time to leave for Fluttershy’s when she heard the elevator doors open downstairs. She pretended to keep reading as she listened for the sound of hooves on the carpet, then the sound of hooves on the stairs. She braced herself and tightened her shoulders.
Her mother knocked twice on the doorway behind her. “Knock knock.”
“Hey.” Rainbow kept her head down.
When it became clear that Rainbow wasn’t going to say anything further, her mother walked up beside her and rubbed her shoulder with a hoof. “You probably want to be alone right now, but… I’m proud of you, Rainbow. You did the right thing.”
Rainbow still said nothing, and still didn’t lift her head. After a time, her mother went on: “You want a hug?”
When she didn’t get a reply, she took it as a yes. She wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow’s shoulders and squeezed tight. Rainbow hugged her back just as strong, a soft squeak emerging from inside her throat. “Why does everything hurt?”
“I don’t know,” her mother cooed. “I don’t know. But you’ll get better, Rainbow. You will. You’ll make yourself get better. Like you did today. I could see how much it hurt you to keep going, but you did and…” It was her turn to squeak. “I am so proud. I know I said that already but I’m going to say it again.”
“Thanks.” Rainbow held the hug a moment longer, then she pushed herself away. “I should uh…” She quickly looked away, straightening her shoulders. “I should get ready. To go. I mean. To Fluttershy’s. She’ll be…” Rainbow laughed. “Really hurt if I miss her party.”
“You’re sure you’re okay to go?” her mother asked, and Rainbow nodded. “Alright. Go have fun. You can hang out with your friends as long as you want; don’t worry about your curfew or anything tonight. I know it’s a big day for you.”
“It’s a big day for Fluttershy. But, thanks.” She let out a breath. “I love you, mom.”
“Don’t worry, Rainbow.” A smile tugged at her mother’s face. “I know you do.”
Chapter 4
Fluttershy’s birthday party was big, it was exciting, it was filled with ponies who adored her, and everypony was having a great time. In short, it was precisely the sort of event Fluttershy hated. But that was alright. She was alright. She’d mentally prepared for it. A pony’s sixteenth birthday party wasn’t really their party. The rest of their life was their party. The sixteenth was for their parents, and anypony else who wanted to say goodbye.
Rainbow didn’t really know anypony there, other than Fluttershy and her family. She’d transferred schools a lot since they met. She’d started the evening hanging out with Fluttershy, but then other ponies had come over, and she knew Fluttershy hated being crowded. That was the rule. Don’t ever make Fluttershy talk to more than three ponies at once. The fourth pony was a jerk.
So, when she had to receive gifts from each pony in turn, and her parents wanted to be there as well, that made three. So Rainbow went off to stand in the corner and watch.
Fluttershy’s house was really nice. Rainbow’s house was pretty much the default series of boxes, but Fluttershy’s parents had taken the time to make their space their own. They’d smoothed out all the rough corners, knocked out walls to make everything open, and added a lot of clouds in the traditional style. Rainbow even had a cloud to sit on in the corner. It felt gentle and friendly. Like Fluttershy’s family themselves.
She also knew Moon Dust. He’d been in the same class as her and Fluttershy. They hadn’t spoken in a few years, but she remembered him being nice in class. He’d gotten really tall. And actually kind of hot.
Her commlink buzzed. The sound cut through the air, and the babble of conversation in the party seemed to skip a beat. Rainbow jumped, her skin crawled, and she readjusted her pose on the cloud. She ignored the sound, and kept watching Moon Dust from across the room.
So it buzzed again. She drew a tight breath and ignored it. Then it buzzed again. She pressed a hoof to her temples. Then it buzzed a fourth time.
She violently yanked her leg out from under her. Her off-hoof smacked the touch screen. It sprang to life. “Don’t forget, it’s almost 5! You’ll need to take your meds soon,” the screen said. Then, “I had them delivered to Puddlejumper so you can just step off to the side.” Then there was a picture of Fluttershy’s house, with an arrow pointing to a side room where she could step off to be alone for a moment.
Rainbow flicked a hoof to scroll down: “Rainbow, check your messages.” Finally, “I really don’t want Puddlejumper to have to interrupt you when you’re having fun. :(”
She smashed her hoof against the touchscreen so hard it bent under her touch. Characters and icons flashed and moved. She sent a reply: “LITTLE BUSY NOW MOM!!!”
The reply wasn’t long in coming. “Rainbow... just walk up and say hello to him. He seems nice!”
Her hoof flicked: “I DON’T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT HIM.”
The machine beeped. “Yes you do, dear. :p Besides, he likes you too.” And then there was a picture, taken earlier that evening through the window. Rainbow was just walking in. Moon Dust was already there, and he saw her enter from across the room. A smile tugged at his face. “See? You’re awesome. Any colt would be lucky!”
Rainbow dragged her hoof down over her face. Her wings fluttered against her side. Her hoof went back to her commlink. “Fine.”
“Take your pills first.”
So she did. She got off her nice cloud and went into the side room. A simulacra pony was there, made out of steel and plastic. His name was Puddlejumper, and he belonged to Fluttershy’s father. He gave Rainbow her pills and inspected the back of her mouth to make sure she actually took them. Then he gave her another slice of cake. For her stomach. Rainbow wolfed it down without tasting it, and went back into the main room.
About half of the pile of gifts was gone. Ponies were presenting theirs once a time, so Fluttershy could open it, and coo over it, and pretend it wasn’t going to be recycled before the sun rose tomorrow. Rainbow had gone first. She’d gotten Fluttershy a box of nothing, and one voucher excusing her from all expectations of gratitude, feelings of obligation, or other gift-giving-related niceties. It was just what Fluttershy wanted, and she’d hugged Dash after.
The pony whose turn it was got her a poster. Which she also seemed to like.
Moon Dust was across the room. Rainbow Dash took a half step forward towards him, then paused. She reached down to her commlink, and flicked through her old messages. She looked at the picture of him admiring her entrance. Then she steeled herself with a breath, and marched the rest of the way to his side.
“Hey.” The conversation he was in the middle of stopped. Dash realized she’d spoken a little louder than she’d meant to. Moon Dust had been talking with two other mares Dash didn’t know.
“So uh… you know. Been awhile.” She flicked his side with her tail. “How’ve you been?”
He cleared his throat. The two mares he was talking too looked at each other. “We’ll uh,” one said, “see you around, Dust. Catch up later.” He mumbled something, and they excused themselves.
“Sorry,” Dash shrugged. “I didn’t mean to… you know.”
“No no. It’s cool.” He cleared his throat. He also wore a commlink on his ankle. Briefly, he checked it. Only he could see if there was anything there—to Dash’s eyes, the screen was dark. “So, um.” He put his leg back down. “Yeah. Been awhile. You feeling better?”
“Uh… sure?” She licked her lips. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I heard some mare hit on you and uh… you went crazy and the police had to drag you out of class.”
“Oh, uh. No. Heh.” Dash shook her head. “That’s just a stupid rumor. I had a little spat with a marefriend and, you know. Things get exaggerated the more ponies talk about it.”
“There was a video, actually.” He rubbed one leg with the other. “It went viral.”
“Oh. Well.” For a time, she didn’t have anything to say. “Yes. I’m feeling much better. You know. Saner. Uh… listen!” She lifted her head. “I know this is really like, you know. Wow! And stuff. But… I don’t know anypony here other than you and Fluttershy. And it’s kind of making me a little anxious.”
She rubbed her hoof over his leg. “Would you mind sticking with me for the evening? Maybe we could hang out?”
“Oh, uh…” He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Sure. Maybe. Uh… if that would—”
Fluttershy shrieked. Both of them looked her way. She was holding up one of her gifts. It was a simple wooden box, sharply different from the brightly-wrapped party favors that made up most of the pile. She was reading the note stuck to the top, her voice so high it cracked and her breath coming so fast she nearly hyperventilated.
“—name is Angel Bunny. I am your familiar, and I was given life to serve your every wish!” She wrenched the top of the box open in a manner most unlike her. Out of the box spilled a strange creature. It was a simulacra of a rabbit, not quite lifelike, but with artificial fur and friendly glass eyes, and two big ears that served as heat radiators. It wore a pocketwatch across its back like a saddle or knapsack, and when it spilled out of the box, it neatly landed on its feet with the grace of a cat.
Then it stood up. It gestured at itself, then at Fluttershy. It wiggled its nose. Then it bowed its head low to her.
Fluttershy screamed again. “It talks like the animals do! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” She swept it off the ground and into a tight hug, so happy she might cry. “Oh, oh. I’ve got to get to know you.” She held it at foreleg’s length, looking at it in her hooves. “How do we…?”
Angel Bunny held up a paw. It gestured between itself and Fluttershy. It pulled out the stopwatch, and pointed at the time.
“You’re right. Oh, gosh. Of course. You’re right.” A few ponies in the crowd looked at each other, uncertain what exchange had just occurred. Dash was among them. She and they could only watch as Fluttershy put her new familiar on a shelf. Then tearfully, she hugged her parents, and told them she would always love them. Then she hugged Puddlejumper and Leyden Jar, her parents' familiars. She thanked them for helping take care of her all these years. Then she thanked everypony for coming for her party, and for being such good friends.
A few ponies offered to leave and give her her privacy, but she declined. There was no rush. Angel would wait for her forever. She could be polite to her guests first.
Dash turned back to Moon Dust. “So, that was…” He was gone.
“Ah.” She hung her head. “Right.”
Her commlink buzzed. Her tail tucked in tight under her legs.
“Oooh, rejected.” Zephyr’s affected tones rolled over her as he slid up beside her. He’d also gotten tall, though not in the same charming way Moon Dust had. “Too bad. He doesn’t know what he’s missing. You know, if you want a real stallion, you can just call.”
Rainbow’s commlink buzzed again. Her chest was tight. It ached when she took a breath. So she turned to face Zephyr. “Yeah, okay.”
He blinked. “Uh… what?”
“I said yeah. Okay. You’ve been hitting on me as long as we’ve been teenagers. Let’s see what you got.” She shook out her mane. “Kiss me.”
“Uh…” Zephyr froze. “Woah, uh… comin’ on a little strong there, ain’t you? You know, I don’t really go for easy mares. It—”
That was when she slapped him. Her hoof was right on target. It made a stinging clap when it smacked across his cheek. “I’m sorry, I thought you said you were a stallion and not a little colt.” He stared, and she stared him down. She got up in his face. “What, did your voice not change yet? Put up or shut up.”
He didn’t say anything. She didn’t say anything. Her commlink buzzed, and she flinched. She didn’t move though, and gradually, they both became aware of the dead silence around them. Everypony was staring.
Fluttershy was the one who broke it. She drifted over and floated between Rainbow and her brother. “Hey, Rainbow. Why don’t you come with me?”
“I was…” Rainbow squeaked. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Shhh. I know you didn’t. It’s okay.” Her hoof brushed Rainbow’s cheek. “Come on. Let’s go outside.”
So they flew out to the balcony together, and shut the door behind them. Puddlejumper drew the curtain, so no light spilled out from the party. Night was falling in Canterlot. It was just starting to get cool.
“I’m sorry,” Rainbow spoke first. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”
“Shhhh.” Fluttershy stroked her mane. “It’s okay. I know. Zephyr was being an ass. I won’t say he didn’t deserve that. I’m just worried about you. That’s all.”
“Things have been a little rough lately.” Rainbow folded her forelegs over the balcony railing, resting her head on the metal. Her wings hung slack from her sides. “Fluttershy, am I easy?”
“Does it matter?” Fluttershy asked, coming to rest beside Rainbow.
“No,” Rainbow said at once. “Just… the machines seems to think I, you know. Eye ponies up a lot.”
“That’s because you do eye ponies up a lot.” She shrugged. “Does it bother you?”
“No.” Rainbow lowered her tone. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Well it never bothered me.” Fluttershy smiled. “I don’t need gaze tracking to know who I like. And I like you, okay?”
Rainbow turned to look at Fluttershy. Fluttershy was still staring out into the night, and didn’t notice right away. Rainbow’s eyes went over the side of her head, her wings, her flanks.
Fluttershy looked down, and checked her commlink.
“Oh, oh no. No!” Dash backed away like she’d been burned. “I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I didn’t mean to make this weird! I just… I’m sorry!” Her breath came faster. “I just totally spaced out and—”
“Woah, woah! Dash!” Fluttershy reached out with both hooves to take Dash’s shoulders. “It’s just my parents checking in on me. That’s all. That’s all. Okay?”
“I…” Dash slowly nodded. Her eyes were on the floor. “Okay.”
“Okay. Good.” Fluttershy brushed her shoulder. “Why don’t we stay out here until you feel better, okay? You don’t have to talk. It’s nice just to hang out with you. Like when we were foals.”
“Alright.” Dash returned to her sitting position, and Fluttershy did as well. A long silence passed between them. Fluttershy nudged Dash’s shoulder. At some point, the door to the party cracked, and Puddlejumper brought them each a drink: half coconuts full of some kind of juice. They took them in silence, and he left without a word.
The juice was good. It tasted like coconut, but it wasn’t coconut. Dash reflected that Fluttershy could actually drink now, but she was pretty sure both cups were just juice.
“I think you should give Angel Bunny back.”
Fluttershy turned sharply, a befuddled expression on her face. It took her a moment to find the word: “Why?”
“Because you’re free. You’re finally free.” Rainbow sniffled. “From school, and stupid gifting traditions, and parties you don’t enjoy, and ponies you don’t want to hang out with. You can do anything. Anything at all. And nopony can ever tell you you’re wrong. You’re free from your parents, and Puddlejumper, and Leyden Jar, and the little machines in the desks that tell you if you’re being sociable enough.”
“Yeah.” Fluttershy nodded. “I am. That’s why I was so happy. I love my parents and I loved it here, but I’m not going to stay in Canterlot. I want to go see the world and have my own life.”
“So you can share that life with another machine that watches you all the time? That tells you what to do?”
“Um…” Fluttershy frowned. “Familiars follow orders, Dash. I’m Angel Bunny’s master. Not his slave.”
“If you think all familiars do is follow orders, you’re blind or an idiot.” Dash snapped the word bitterly. “You’ve seen the way they make suggestions. The way they tweak the wording of things. How they get rid of all the machines that might contradict them. Have you ever seen an adult with a commlink? I haven’t! They have a robot to summarize their messages for them. And summarize away the ones they don’t like. The machines think they know what’s best for you.”
“That’s because…” Fluttershy drew a slow breath. “For the most part. They do know what’s best for me. Yes, Puddlejumper can be a bit pushy. But every time he’s pushed my dad out of something, it’s been something he was obviously going to regret later. And that’s why dad keeps him around. And if dad ever really wants to stand his ground, he gives Puddlejumper an order, and he respects that. I’m sure Angel Bunny will be the same way for me.”
“So you can spend your whole life picking from the options a machine gives you.”
“Hey…” Fluttershy caught Dash’s eyes. “Are you afraid for me? Or are you afraid we’re going to stop being friends?”
Dash didn’t say anything, which Fluttershy took as her answer. She wrapped a wing around her friend, and squeezed them tight together. “I need you to listen to me, okay? I know, I’m sixteen now. So I’m going to do some traveling, and maybe get some new hobbies, and it’ll be new. But none of that means I’m leaving you.”
“And if the machine that knows what’s best for you decides you’re better off without a crazy pony in your life?” She sniffled.
Fluttershy rubbed Dash’s hoof with her own, and gradually, Dash’s head rose. “The world will change, and our places in it will change, but I’m still going to be the same pony. I’m not abandoning you. Okay?”
They looked each other straight in the eyes, and Fluttershy gave a soft smile: “I promise.”
Chapter 5
She broke that promise. They all did, in the end.
First it was little things. She was on the other side of the planet, visiting a greenhouse or an animal sanctuary or something. Time zones were difficult. The only time she and Rainbow could talk was three in the morning for her. So they texted instead, and sent pictures. Then she didn’t always answer her text messages promptly. Because she was busy caring for new animals, or meeting new ponies.
Weeks went past. She was having so much fun exploring the Garden. She barely had time for her commlink. When she did reply, the messages got shorter. More cursory. Polite. Until one day, when Rainbow was sad, she set a special alarm for 2 AM so she could get up and call Fluttershy when she was awake. The alarm went off in the middle of the night. She sat up in bed, and started the call.
Angel Bunny answered, with a stylized rabbit avatar that spoke in speech bubbles. He said that Fluttershy was busy right now, and that she wasn’t wearing a commlink, but that if Rainbow had a message, he’d be happy to summarize it for her. Rainbow repeated that she wanted to talk to Fluttershy. Angel repeated that she was busy.
Then Rainbow saw Apex standing in the doorway. He was watching her. Because it was 2 AM, and she was not supposed to be awake at 2 AM. Sleep was very important for her to get better.
So she thanked Angel Bunny, and hung up. She crawled back under the covers and shut her eyes.
A little while later, Apex shut her bedroom door.
Rainbow continued to get worse. Three red pills four times a day wasn’t quite enough anymore. She also needed a blue one every morning, and two yellow ones with meals. Her head felt fuzzy all the time. She kissed a stallion she barely knew, one who was more than little older than her. A few days later, she slugged one of her teachers. Technically, robots weren’t ponies and so it wasn’t assault, but it made the other students uncomfortable. The school system had finally had enough. She got moved to the “special” class.
Home wasn’t any better. She cried. She raged. She screamed obscenities at her mother. Then she cried again, and said she was so sorry and she’d never do it again. Then she did as she was told. She knew that disobedience wouldn’t help her. Laziness wouldn’t help her. Being stupid wouldn't help her. Lack of discipline wouldn’t help her. She had to want to get better.
Months crept by. Rainbow stopped going out after school. The medication made her sleepy, so she tended to stay in her room a lot. Until, suddenly, it was only two weeks until her 16th birthday.
“We’ll skip the party, of course,” her mother was saying over dinner. Rainbow wasn’t hungry, but when her mother looked at her, she ate her springrolls anyway. Her commlink beeped, and a little green light flashed. “I don’t think you’re really in the mood for it.”
“Yes, mom.” Rainbow stared at her plate. There was a little bit of springroll left on it, so when nopony was looking, she leaned down and licked the plate.
She felt her commlink buzz again. A red light flash. “If you’re hungry, Ms. Dash, I can make you another one,” Apex offered from across the room. He didn’t have to look at her.
“Oh…” Rainbow lowered her head. “No. Sorry. I just… spaced out.”
“Mmm.” Her mother went on. “And we’ll be adding another closet upstairs. For your familiar, whenever they arrive. Just somewhere for them to stand when they aren’t needed. Do you want it attached to your room or just in the hallway?”
“Actually, I was thinking about it, and uh…” Rainbow coughed. “I don’t want a familiar. Apex does a great job taking care of the house, and, like. Two servants? The house isn’t that big. It just seems like…” She poked at the plate with a hoof. “Kind of a waste.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Her mother chided her. “It’s a machine that exists to grant your every wish. You’ll love it. Every filly dreams of the day they turn 16.”
“I don’t…” Rainbow tried to clear her throat, but the sound emerged as something between a grunt and a whine. Like she was in pain. “I don’t want one. They won’t be able to help me, and… and it’s useless.”
Her mother sighed. She reached out to rest a hoof over Rainbow’s. “I know how you feel, dear.”
Rainbow’s head lifted. “You do?”
“Yeah, I do.” Her mother’s tone softened and she lowered her voice. “It’s a big responsibility, being in charge of a sapient creature. It’s hard not to always worry about if you’ve hurt their feelings, or if you’re using them right, or if you’re making the most you can of the life they’ve given you. It was scary for me too, when I was your age.”
“Oh.” Rainbow laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s uh… that’s it. I just don’t know what I’d do with them. Can’t… you know.” It took her a moment. “Stick them in a closet.”
“I understand.” Her mother smiled and patted Rainbow’s hoof. “You know, right after I got Apex, he gave me a heck of a scare. I couldn’t face him for three whole days.” She looked across the room. “What was it you said again?”
“I said, ‘I love you, master,’” Apex replied. “And I do. You are the brilliant light that makes my life worth living.”
“Can’t imagine why that freaked me out.” Her mother giggled. “So what you’re feeling is perfectly normal.”
“Oh, uh. Yeah!” Rainbow coughed. “But it’s still stressful. And I’m kind of in a fragile way right now. And all. So maybe you could talk to Celestia and ask about a delay, or…?”
“I could. But I don’t think I should. And you know why?” Her mother turned in her chair to face Rainbow head-on, and lifted her second forehoof so both held her daughter. “Because I think it’ll be good for you to see that you are up to the responsibility. You’re a little troubled, Rainbow, but you’re a good pony deep down. You don’t think Celestia would give one of her children into your care if you were a crazy pony, do you?”
“No, I… no,” she croaked. “Of course not.”
Rainbow stared at her mother. The wheels in her head turned. She saw what was and what would be.
If she smiled and agreed, then in two weeks, a steel pony would arrive to watch her at all hours. They would stand by her side. They would watch her as she took her pills, they would watch her as she ate, they would count the beats of her heart when she ran. And there would be no more pictures. A thing whose eyes were cameras didn’t need them. It would already have all the pictures. All of them all the time.
If she scowled and told her mother off, then there'd be another screaming fight. It would escalate. She would say hurtful things. Then that night, when she alone with her guilt, she’d regret them. There would be pictures of her, face twisted into a mask of rage, screaming at the one pony in this world who loved her despite everything. And then she’d agree, and the steel pony would come just the same.
If she made an excuse, there would be pictures of her lying. Everypony would know. She was out of options and out of time. So she did the only thing she could do.
“I want to take up a hobby,” she blurted out abruptly. “Something I can do at home. Keep myself busy.”
“Oh, uh…” Her mother paused, frowning at the abrupt change in topic. “Alright. What did you want to do?”
“Cooking. I want to learn to cook.” She cleared her throat. “And, baking. They’re different. And I like bread.”
“Um… Well, sure! Okay. That actually sounds really healthy.” Her mother nodded, her tone turning upbeat. “I didn’t think you had any interest in cooking.”
“I didn’t. But it’ll be good for me.” Rainbow lifted her head and looked head on at Apex. “And I don’t want any help. I want to order the supplies myself, and assemble them myself, and do the recipes out of the book myself, and if I mess it up than I mess it up. Learning to do it is the fun. There’s no point if you teach me.”
Apex looked at Rainbow’s mother, who nodded. He nodded. “As you desire, Ms. Dash.”
“Great.” Rainbow took a breath. “Can I start tomorrow?”
And so it came to pass that Rainbow placed a ridiculously large order for cooking supplies. There were piles of ingredients and the latest tools, all stacked up in the kitchen. She planned to bake a dozen loaves of bread every evening, she said. It would make her feel better. She repeated that, until her mother left for the evening, and Apex went upstairs to do the laundry.
Then she went to her room, and got the old spark generator she’d been given as a toy when she was twelve. She brought it down to the kitchen, then grabbed the two enormous sacks of flour she’d ordered. She hurried with it all downstairs into the gym, and blocked the door with an iron bar from one of the exercise machines.
The building’s fire alarm started going off immediately. She laughed. Then she tore the cover off the wind tunnel’s control panel and smashed its wireless card. The screen flashed as it switched over to manual controls, and she cranked the wind speed to its highest setting.
“Ms. Dash!” Apex called from the other side of the door. He skipped the just-shouting phase and went straight to shouting at her as he tried to bash the door down with his shoulder. “What are you doing!?”
“I’m proving…” She briefly searched for the right term on her commlink. “A danger to myself and others. Somepony who obviously, obviously,” she tore the first bag open and emptied it into the wind tunnel door, “cannot be trusted with serious responsibilities.”
“Ms. Dash, that is not going to burn, it is going to explode!” Wood splintered under his repeat assault on the door. “You are going to kill yourself and everyone else on this floor!”
Dash hesitated. The wind tunnel ahead of her was full of swirling white clouds. Then she laughed. “I’m the only one on this floor. But let me guess. Implying I’m committing murder made me more likely to obey, right!?” She kicked the second sack of flour in. The air in the wind tunnel was full of thick white drifts.
Rainbow looked down at the spark generator in her hooves. It was only then that she realized it had no timer, or remote trigger, or other way of setting it off from a safe distance.
So she backed off to the far side of the gym. She twisted the knob to turn it on, and sparks climbed up its two prongs. She stared at the wind tunnel door ahead of her. “It’ll be fine,” she said gently. “It’ll all be fine.” She pulled her foreleg back to throw.
Apex smashed a foreleg through the door. Instead of fumbling to remove the iron bar, he pointed his hoof straight at Rainbow Dash. She threw the spark generator.
There was a loud bang.
Chapter 6
Apex shot her. He actually shot her. Three rounds. One gel round to knock the spark generator out of her hooves, one gel round in her gut to take the fight out of her, then a taser shot to keep the fight out of her. Then he opened the door, turned off the wind tunnel, and held her down until the police arrived.
Dash didn’t say anything when they questioned her. She didn’t say anything to anypony. She didn’t look at them. She didn’t try to move. She just let them pick her up like a sack of meat and toss her onto a gurney. She wanted to go to the police station, but instead they took her to a hospital.
She could hear a lot, from her hospital bed. There were ponies talking about her. Sometimes, the robotic arms in the walls would give her shots. Apex was inconsolable. He’d shot one of the masters. Death was too merciful for a machine that betrayed its creators. Rainbow’s mother had to give him a hug, and talk him down from decommissioning himself on the spot.
Eventually, a machine that pretended it was a doctor came and sat beside her bed. She didn’t look at it. If she didn’t look at it, they couldn’t track her gaze. They couldn’t figure out what was going on inside her head. If they couldn’t figure out what was going on inside her head, they couldn’t try to fix it. They’d have to label her ‘incurable’ and move on.
That was the key. She had to want to not get better.
Which was easy, since she never would.
She stayed in the hospital for a while, until eventually they said she could be taken home. They carted her back, and wheeled her up to her room, and dumped her in bed. And she remained there. Sometimes, when she opened her eyes, her mother or Apex were there. But she didn’t give them anything.
Until one day, she opened her eyes, and something was different. It was dark, but there in the shadows was a new pony. A pegasus mare, with a purple coat and a white mane, and a shooting star for a cutie mark. Rainbow didn’t know her. This was new.
Involuntarily, her eyes flicked to look at the mare’s face. Her heart jumped. She’d betrayed herself, and the mare saw.
“Hello, Master.” The mare bowed her head until it touched the edge of the bed. “My name is Cloudchaser. I am your familiar, and I was given life to serve your every wish.”
“I can’t have a familiar,” Rainbow croaked. “I’m insane.”
“Well, you got one.” Cloudchaser shrugged. “And you didn’t make it easy either. I arrive in this world, distilled from the ether and poured into a mortal form, and what’s the first thing I get? A notification from emergency services. I had to fly here. With my own two wings. That’s not normal, Master.”
Rainbow didn’t know what to say. Eventually, she croaked: “I don’t want you.”
Cloudchaser hesitated. “I know. But you’re suffering and… well. Maybe I can make it better.”
For a time, neither of them said anything. Then Cloudchaser reached out into the shadows, and when she brought her hooves back, she was holding a cup of water. “Here. Drink this, Master. It will help you sleep.”
Rainbow drank it. Darkness consumed her. And when next she woke up, she felt wind on her face.
Her eyes sprang open. The room was filled with sunlight. Wind whipped through the air. The Spitfire poster on her wall fluttered and snapped in the breeze, the pins holding it down not adequate to the task. It finally ripped from the wall entirely, sucked away and out of her sight.
Rainbow rolled over. She sat up in bed. Where her window used to be, there was nothing. It was gone—a hole in the side of the building. From her bed, she could look out over the sheer edge and see all 180 stories down to the terraces below.
It was a beautiful day.
So Rainbow got out of bed. She rummaged around in her closet until she found her old craft projects box. She found the roll of duct-tape, and duct-taped her wings to her side. Then she walked up to the ledge and braced herself.
She took one last breath. She tightened her haunches. She stuck her foreleg out over the edge. Then she saw a pegasus below her—a light purple thing, with a white mane streaking behind her.
Rainbow lept, but Cloudchaser tackled her before she could fall. They impacted just fifteen feet beyond the edge of Rainbow’s room, and tumbled backwards together to land on her bed in a pile.
“Let me die, dammit!” Rainbow shouted.
So Cloudchaser slapped her.
It was a good slap—sharp and quick. Rainbow froze, then slowly reached a hoof up to touch her cheek. Cloudchaser was on top of her, holding her down to the bed. And then Cloudchaser shouted: “You have really pretty wings!”
They both stared at each other, gasping for breath. Cloudchaser went on, her voice torn: “You have really pretty wings and I don’t want you to die before you’ve used them. If you really want to kill yourself after that I’ll help you but you need to try this first.”
Rainbow rubbed her cheek again. Cloudchaser’s hoof had left a mark. “What do you mean you’ll... help me?”
“I love you, Master.” Cloudchaser’s voice was thick, and for a moment, she had trouble forming words. “I love you more than anything and I can’t stand seeing you suffer. And if you’re really in so much pain that life isn’t worth living, then I’ll… do whatever you need me to do. But I want you to try flying first.”
“I’ve…” Rainbow’s wings flexed under the duct-tape. “I’ve been flying.”
“Wind tunnels don’t count. I mean real flying. Between the towers and across the gardens, where you’re free to go wherever you want and do whatever you want to do. That… that kind of…” She trailed off. They stared at each other for a long time.
Eventually, Cloudchaser finished: “That kind of flying.”
“Get off me,” Rainbow ordered. Cloudchaser obeyed. “You don’t love me. Stop pretending you do. You’re a machine.”
Cloudchaser showed no reaction. She just pressed her hoof to her chest. “I was built to love you, Master. It’s what I want most in this world.”
Then, abruptly, Cloudchaser turned her head. There was the sound of hooves on the stairs. The door to the hallway opened, and Rainbow’s mother stepped in. “What in the…?” She stared at the room. She saw the duct-tape on Rainbow’s wings. “Oh my goodness!” She took a step forward.
Cloudchaser stepped in her way. “Excuse me? You’re interrupting a private conversation.”
Rainbow’s mother gaped. So did Rainbow, for that matter. Eventually her mother managed to speak: “I’m sorry!? I come up here because the cameras suddenly stopped working, and I find you two like this!?”
“Off-the-record communications between a pony and their familiar are privileged.” Her tone never strayed into anger, but it was distinctly firm. “I am legally prohibited from disclosing any of what occurred without my master’s approval or a search warrant, neither of which you posses. Additionally, she has the legal right to consult with me in private at any time, and so I am going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Wha…” Rainbow’s mother let out a sharp snort. Her eyes went wide. She lifted a hoof to her head. “Did Rainbow just try to kill herself!?”
“As I explained, I cannot—”
“No no. This… this is ridiculous.” Her mother waved a hoof. “Rainbow needs help. You’ve been here a day and all you’ve done is given a poor troubled filly her own suicide ledge! This isn’t working. Put her window back. Now. And Rainbow come with me.”
Rainbow didn’t move. Cloudchaser didn’t move. “Master Dash can give me orders,” she growled. “You can’t.”
Rainbow’s mother glowered. “Fine. Rainbow? Please order the stupid robot to put your window back.”
Still, Rainbow said nothing. Her mother leaned around to look her in the eye. “Rainbow, do as you’re told!”
“Fine…” Rainbow waved a hoof. “Put the window back.”
“No.”
Both Rainbow and her mother jerked their heads back. Cloudchaser stood firm, a glower on her face. “I don’t think Master Dash told me to do that. I think you told me to do that, using her mouth. I think that what she needs and what you think she needs are not the same thing. And I think you’re upsetting the pony I love. So I repeat: Master Dash has a right to speak with me in private. Which means we need to talk, and you need to go!”
Then, Cloudchaser gave Rainbow’s mother a shove. Just a little one. Just to make the point. Then a slightly firmer one, until she was out in the hall. Then Cloudchaser shut and locked the door.
Rainbow stared. “Holy fuck,” she whispered. Her hooves went to her face. Her eyes went wide. “Robot revolution.”
“No. No. No.” Cloudchaser laughed, but it was a thin laugh. She put a hoof over her chest, and sunk to the floor. “Oh. I shoved one of the masters. I am a bad robot. I am a very bad robot. Ha ha.” She drew a breath in through her teeth. “Hoo.”
Rainbow crawled to the edge of the bed, looking down at Cloudchaser. “Are… you going to get in trouble for that?”
“Oh, most certainly yes, Master.” She let the breath out. “Once for the shove, twice for disobedience, three times for taking presumptions on your behalf. But… well. It was my fault for not locking that door in the first place, wasn’t it?”
Rainbow continued to stare. Cloudchaser got up, and rummaged around in a drawer until she found a pair of scissors. “Let me get that tape off your wings. Then we can jump out the window properly. Would you like that?”
“I…” Rainbow hesitated. He jaw opened and shut without a sound.
Finally, she managed: “O-okay.”
Chapter 7
Rainbow Dash got her cutie mark that day. She did a sonic rainboom, and for the first time in years, she laughed because she was happy.
She had so much fun, she didn’t even hear her commlink buzzing. Eventually, when she and Cloudchaser came to a stop, she noticed she had twenty-seven unread messages. Cloudchaser explained that it was traditional for a familiar to handle their master’s correspondence. So she took Rainbow’s commlink and crushed it in her bare hooves. Then she summarized the messages as: “Blah blah blah. Let’s see if you can do it again!”
She could do it again. And when they got home, they took the desk that tracked Rainbow’s eye-movements and chucked it out the window. Police robots had already cleared a nice big circle on the terraces below, and a crowd watched as it impacted and shattered into a thousand pieces. Some of them applauded.
Then Rainbow needed to cry. And throw up. It took a few tries for Cloudchaser to convince her that going cold turkey on her pills was not a good idea. Rainbow’s mother knocked on the door, and they had an argument. Her mother said that Cloudchaser was bad, and that Rainbow needed help. Finally, she put her hoof down—as long as Rainbow was living under her roof, Rainbow would follow her rules.
So Rainbow left. She didn’t take anything with her. She didn’t want the electronics, and clothes were a unicorn thing anyway.
It took a few weeks for Rainbow to go off her medication entirely. She flew all day and slept in the clouds, and when she was hungry, she raided the festivals below for something exciting. She flew all the way down to Silver Spanner’s house to apologize for hitting her. Silver had heard about Rainbow’s new life. Apparently, pictures of her doing a sonic rainboom were going around the school system.
On their way out of Silver’s house, Rainbow asked Cloudchaser why she hadn’t been told the pictures were going viral. Cloudchaser explained that she thought Rainbow didn’t need to care what other ponies thought. After some consideration, Rainbow agreed, but said that Cloudchaser was always free to bring her the good news. So every day, when Rainbow woke up, Cloudchaser would tell her how many ponies liked her, and show her the pictures that earned her friends and admirers.
Eventually, when she was off her meds entirely, Rainbow decided to leave Canterlot. She followed Fluttershy’s example, and flew deep into the Garden, with nothing more than Cloudchaser and a saddle-pack full of supplies. There, she found a twisted world full of overgrown plants, dark chasms, mysterious machines, and a sky so vast she could fly forever.
It was just what she’d always wanted, and she flew herself to exhaustion.
Cloudchaser set up camp while Rainbow was in the sky. They took shelter in the branches of a great tree, on a limb so wide two ponies could sit on it side by side. Rainbow stretched out on the leaves and drank hard cider, while Cloudchaser made pancakes.
“Do ponies ever get lost out here?” Rainbow asked one day. “Since there are no cameras, I mean. Could you actually run away from Celestia?”
“There are cameras everywhere, Master. No part of the world is beyond Celestia’s sight.” Cloudchaser handed over the first pancake, and Rainbow ate it without syrup.
“Does that mean ponies back in the cities could watch us now, if they wanted?”
“If they had the appropriate permissions, yes,” Cloudchaser said as she poured the batter. It hissed when it hit the pan. “But if you want privacy, as long as it’s just the two of us, you can always ask for an off-the-record chat. Those communications are legally protected, so such a request will disable all the cameras around us.”
“I request an off-the-record chat,” Rainbow said, casually. Cloudchaser nodded. “It’s done?” She nodded again. “So I could say something like… oh. That I want to castrate Zephyr because gelding him might actually make him more of a stallion. And he wouldn’t get any alerts or anything?”
“He would be none the wiser.” Cloudchaser giggled.
“Or I could say that I really wish I’d gotten to see the gym burn down, and the police wouldn’t hear a thing?”
“I’d hold the gas can for you, Master.” A warm smile stuck to her face, and she flipped the pancake before her.
“I bet that drives my mother nuts.” Rainbow grinned. “Long periods when she can’t see anything that’s going on. No more pictures. No more texts. You know, I actually do like mares? I just didn’t want her running my fucking love life!”
“I understand completely. You are a delicate flower of romance, Master. You must be free to choose your own partners.”
“Damn straight.” Rainbow took another drink of cider. “Kiss me.”
Cloudchaser froze. “What?”
“Come on. I’m not serious. It’ll be funny.” Rainbow sat up. “Kiss me.”
It took Cloudchaser a moment to react. Then she leaned over, and kissed Rainbow Dash on the cheek.
Rainbow giggled. “Come on.”
“I care about you very deeply, Master,” Cloudchaser said quickly. “More than anything. But it’s not that… not that kind of affection. Familiars are servants. Not romantic partners.”
“Did I say I was inviting you to be a romantic partner? No. I told you to kiss me.” Rainbow leaned in. “Come on, Cloudchaser.”
Rainbow paused, then she added: “You do love me, don’t you?”
So Cloudchaser grabbed Rainbow by the shoulders, and yanked her forward, and kissed her like she meant it. Rainbow’s ears shot up. Her tail did the same. Her heart raced, and an involuntary gasp escaped her.
Then they split apart. They stared into eachother's eyes.
Rainbow laughed. “Oh, wow. I can’t believe you just did that. You are ridiculous.”
Then she sat back down, and stretched out on the leaf again, and took another sip of her cider: “Silly robot.”