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Bad Guys

by Jay David

Chapter 1: Bad Guys


It wasn't the most graceful of landings, it had to be said. After tumbling down for what seemed like an eternity, the Storm king's face eventually collided with a hard surface. Naturally, such an impact took a while to recover from, and when he did, the aggressive satyr grumbled as he placed a hand upon the side of his head, nursing the spot where he'd fallen. With his other hand, he reached around for something to lean on, but when he eventually touched the nearest object, his mind registered it as cold and hard, like metal. With his eyes snapping open, he saw that it was, unmistakeably, the bars of a cage. Swiftly, he stood up, grasping two of the nearest bars and trying to pull on them with all his might, but to no avail. As one would expect, this did little to lighten his mood, but his expression soon turned to one of horror as he finally looked past the bars to what lay beyond.


"What the...?"


To call the sight before him a "desolate wasteland" would have been charitable, as it looked like the kind of craggy and barren landscaped that not once would have ever seen life. Dark, cold, foreboding, terrifying, all these words and more would have been apt for this place, wherever it was. All the fallen King knew was that this was no place for him, so, yet again, he tried as hard as he could to try and pulled the bars apart. But, as before, his efforts were all for naught. Frustration and fury wrestled for control in him, to the point where he even tried outright biting the bars with his sharp teeth. And it was here that, finally, someone spoke to him.


"Don't bother...there's no escape."


The Storm King halted his efforts and spun around, seeing, for the first time, that he was not alone in this confinement. There was another figure, sitting in one corner, black of fur and, from the looks of things, a centaur. And an old one too judging from the state of him, with a pale beard and withered limbs, this here was a creature that seemed to possess no strength at all. Looking upon him, the Storm king raised an eyebrow.


"Who are you? And where am I?"


The unknown figure chuckled.


"I am Tirek. Once the scourge of all Equestria. And this..."


He gestured to their surroundings.


"...is Tartarus."


The Storm king's eyes widened.


"T...Tartarus?"


"Yes," Tirek replied.


"The realm of the damned?" the Storm king questioned.


"Yes," Tirek answered again.


A few moments passed, but eventually, the King put two and two together.


"So...I'm dead then?"


Tirek nodded.


"Correct. Just like me and everything else that finds itself down here in this wretched place."


Naturally, such information was difficult to grasp, and for a time, the Storm King simply stood there trying to take it all in. But, the moment eventually passed, and he let out, surprisingly, a chuckle, as though amused by the concept.


"Ridiculous! I'm the Storm King! I single-handedly took over Equestria and stole its magic! I am more powerful than any being the world has ever seen! I..."


But, he was halted, as Tirek, rather abruptly, interrupted him.


"Yes, yes, we all know how this goes. You're mighty, you're unbeaten and blah, blah, blah. Trust me, everyone down here would have felt the same at one point."


Though irritated at being interrupted, the Storm King Raised an eyebrow.


"You seem rather calm about all of this."


Tirek snickered dryly.


"When you've been in a place like this as long as I have, youngster, there comes a time when you just...accept it."


He narrowed his eyes to his new cellmate.


"So I suggest you get comfortable, because you and I are going nowhere."


This time, it was the Storm King's turn to laugh.


"Fat chance, old man! I have conquests to get back to!"


Tirek smirked.


"Not while shattered into a million pieces you don't."


Those words caught the satyr off-guard, and for a moment, his words seemed hesitant.


"Is...is that how...?"


Tirek nodded.


"The forces of darkness tend to talk down here. Word in the underworld says you got hit by your own lieutenant while she was affected by one of those stone orb things of yours. Very nasty."


Leaning back into the bars, Tirek appeared somewhat amused by something.


"I suppose I should count myself lucky. When the ponies felled me, they only had to use a bunch of rainbow magic."


Hearing that, the Storm King couldn't help but laugh.


"I'm sorry, rainbow magic?! Are you serious?! And you honestly call yourself a threat?!"


Tirek frowned.


"My exit may not have been the most dignified..."


Slowly, he regained his earlier smirk.


"...but at least I don't go around trying other villains' plans when dealing with the ponies."


As soon as he'd heard that, the Storm King seemed taken aback, as well as confused.


"What...what are you talking about?"


Tirek raised his fingers at his fellow prisoner in an accusing manner.


"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Your whole plan, the way you did it, it was all me!"


The Storm King snorted.


"Pardon?"


Tirek shrugged.


"I'll grant you, some of the details were different here and there, but for the most part your whole scheme was just my scheme...albeit with a somewhat more gruesome end on your part."


He frowned further at the younger villain.


"You're a complete and total copycat!"


To that, the Storm King grumbled.


"Ugh! Could you please not mention cats to me right now? I've had enough of those in the last day or two to last a lifetime!"


Sighing, he raised his hand to his head and once more rubbed the spot where he'd fallen.


"Okay, old-timer...for the sake of fairness, why don't you go ahead and tell me why you think I stole your bit."


Slowly, Tirek tried hoisting himself to his hooves, though it took great effort on his part given how weak he appeared. When he was finally standing, he grinned a little.


"Alright, I will. I'll ask you question about you and what you did, and you'll answer yes or no, deal?"


The Storm King grunted again, then nodded in agreement, prompting Tirek to clasp his hand together.


"Very well...question one. Are you a big and intimidating horned creature from lands beyond Equestria that nopony has ever seen before?"


The Storm king raised an eyebrow, gesturing to himself.


"Buddy, you can clearly see that..."


"YES OR NO?!" Tirek bellowed.


The Storm King raised his hands.


"Fine! Okay, yes!"


With that, Tirek continued.


"Did you come to Equestria for the sake of stealing their magic?"


"Yes."


"With particular desire to take that of the alicorn Princesses?"


"Yes."


"All to try and basically take over the world?"


"Yes."


“Even though all you basically did with that magic was cause a bunch of damage and try to blow stuff up?”


The Storm King folded his arms at that one.


“I wouldn’t have put it that pathetically, but yes.”


"Did you have an ally that was, at one point, one the side of the Equestrians, but who basically betrayed them after said ally met you?" Tirek continued.


The Storm King considered that.


"Well...yes?"


Tirek smirked again.


"And did you, in turn, betray them once you got what you wanted?"


For a time, the Storm king scratched the back of his head, looking a little nervous.


"I...erm...yes?"


A pause, and then Tirek stared right at his fellow evil-doer.


"And finally...did your downfall only come after the aforementioned betrayal of your ally, which thus led to a reconciliation of sorts on the part of the ponies, that eventually led them to defeating you?"


The Storm King's mouth was shut tight, and he tried avoiding Tirek's gaze. But, after a time, he grumbled again.


"Ugh! Fine! Yes! That's what happened!"


Tirek stood there, looking like he'd won some great victory which, of course, didn't make the Storm King any happier.


"But it doesn't matter! We're still totally different bad guys!"


To that, Tirek nodded.


"You're right...you were far sillier."


The Storm King seemed insulted.


"Sillier?!"


Again, Tirek nodded.


"Now that Tempest mare, she knew how to be a villain. Cold, ruthless, intimidating."


Looking back to the Storm king, Tirek frowned.


"I mean what self-respecting villain allows his underlings and sidekicks to be more scary than they are?"


With that final insult, the Storm King was at last done with this guy.


"That's it! I'm out! I'm not going to stand here and be talked down to by the likes of you! I'm the Storm King! And if it's the last thing I do..."


He turned reaching for the bars and trying to squeeze himself out.


"...ugh...I'm...going...to...get...out...of...he-ARGH!!!"


He backed away as fast as possible as, just then, a set of razor-sharp teeth nearly bit his arm off. Falling back on his behind, the Storm King looked on in terror as a massive three-headed dog approached the bars, growling angrily and staring at him in a menacing manner. The Storm King backed away as much as possible, prompting the canine outside to finally walk off, albeit while continuing to sound like he was ready to bite something. Turning, the Storm King looked to Tirek for answers, while the latter, with a big smile on his face, was eager to give them.


"Oh, and there's also a giant three-headed dog charged with keeping us here for all eternity."


The Storm king raised an eyebrow, prompting Tirek to stroke his beard and speaking out in a faux-innocent manner.


"Did I forget to mention that earlier? Oh dear, how careless of me."


Narrowing his eyes, the Storm King grunted the only appropriate thing to say at a time like this.


"I hate you so much right now."

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