Solving Problems with Violence

Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc., Harry Dresden is the property of Jim Butcher, Carl Kolchak is the property of ABC/Universal Television, Ranma Saotome is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Sailor Jupiter is the property of Naoko Takeuchi.

Winona shoved the powder charge into the barrel, Owlicious added the carton of streamers and confetti, Gummi and Tank adjusted the barrel from loading to firing position, Opal glanced around to make sure everyone was clear, readied the firing mechanism and jumped off the cannon. Angel gleefully pulled the lanyard.

Again the target was covered with screamers and confetti, and cleaning and servicing the party cannon started again.

"You guys are almost as good as I am," Pinkie commented, "A couple more shots and we can move up to firing pies." She grinned at the thought, while the animals showed a varying level of enthusiasm for the task.
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Bruce wasn't sweating, mainly because he didn't have those kinds of glands, but the close attention of the police and the alchemists had much the same effect.

"That has got to be the worse tree costume I have ever seen," the chief of police announced as he looked Bruce over.

"You made our head botanist cry," the de facto leader, or mouthpiece of the alchemists said, "She did make a few notes about what you did wrong, and how to correct it." She set a box of paper in front of Bruce. Later Bruce could use it as a steamer trunk.

"Thank you," Bruce managed and held as still as he could as one of the alchemists circled him.

"How do you get in and out?" the pony asked.

"Oh, and have you steal the secret?" Bruce said tersely, "That's really going to happen."

"Oh, yes, right," the pony said and slunk away, "Sorry."

Bruce gave a sigh of relief. Don approached with a broom over his shoulder.

"Sweep out the back," Don told him, and nodded, "You've gotten the feedback on the costume you wanted."

Bruce nodded back with his 'branches' and headed to where the elves were, the people he was supposed to be protecting.

The moment he walked through the doors, he wished he was back with the police and alchemists, at least they thought he was a pony in a bad costume. These knew what he was.

"Hello," he said, looked at the disbelieving, almost weighing-him eyes and wished the Elfqueen would just attack now and get it over with.
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"Shi - "

"GAA!" Shining Armor screamed and jumped 10 feet in the air. Several nearby pegasus guards in other watchtowers tensed, then relaxed as Armor's path didn't take him out of reach of immediate rescue.

"That's it," Makoto said as she set Armor back down after she'd flown up to catch him, "You're switching to decaff."

"I was just thinking about the attack, are we ready, is there more we can do, what if they do the unexpected?" Shining said.

"I'm glad you stopped at three. No, by definition no one is ever ready to be attacked. Two, we've done all we know to do, and have reserves to help with the unexpected. Last, the enemy always does the unexpected. If they do exactly what you need them to do, they are being unexpectedly stupid. I see you've got some of your sister's obsessiveness hidden under layers of discipline. No need to be on a hair-trigger, they probably won't attack until near nightfall. They can see ponies in the dark, but you can't see them."

"How do you know that?" Shining said.

"I went down to offer Chrysalis a chance to surrender her forces, and she spotted me before I could see her," Makoto said, "Now relax, you'll help no one, especially Celestia, Cadence or your sister, if you wind yourself up so tight. Accept they're getting the first punch in, it's our counterpunch that matters."

Shining took a deep breath, and let it out. "Sorry, the guard is for little things, Celestia, Luna and the Elements are the real heavy hitters, without them . . . we all feel a little naked," Armor said.

"Aren't you normally naked?" Makoto asked, "Like I said, we're the bait, and the anvil. We have plenty of hammers waiting to use, and one of those is Celestia, Luna and the Elements."

Armor nodded.

"When she gets back, remind me to teach Cadence how to scratch behind your ears," Makoto said, "You need to relax."

Now Armor was worried about 'what happens after I survive', which he suspected was Makoto's goal.
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Bruce was glad the questioning, and assisting at the shop were over. Don had set a sign stating he was 'off to watch the war', and would return the next day. That meant Bruce had only to watch out for the Elfqueen or her emissaries. Scotty and a team were performing periodic maintenance on the machinery.

Bruce had two nodes `asleep` to watch for a dream-based incursion. After the horror stories from the elves of what the Queen had done to opponents, he was feeling much better. If she shows up and starts something, he thought as he watched over his charges, I'll just kill her.

He would have smiled if he'd had the equipment, and felt better and more in control than he had since arriving.

"Yo, biggun wit' wings, the light bulbs," Baker said and gestured at the ceiling fixture, "Change em."

So much for . . . he thought then stared at Baker.

"Why are you talking with Scotty's accent?" he asked.

"We traded," Baker said.

I'm getting a terrific node ache, he thought as he headed for the ceiling.
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Don had checked in on Posey, who was `on duty` in her wheelchair patrolling the hospital. As such, she'd happily acknowledged him, but that was all he could hope for.

Glad the staff and the chief of police agreed to my proposal, he thought as he galloped out of town, Puts all those hurt cops back to work, and frees up resources if something goes down.

Once out of sight, he went invisible, dropped his disguise, and activated the trinket Bruce had given him. He was glad he was alone because the discomfort and disorientation would have made him kill or eat someone as he returned to his proper form.
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Celestia lay under the hot towels, sweating quite a bit this time. She was glad she was alone because the discomfort and disorientation of Helga returning to her proper form had caused some utterances that would be hard to take back. Helga had wanted her fighting fit, and had moved them to a soundproof studio before the treatment.

As the heat eased the minor twinges and itches, Celestia felt her body was looser and more relaxed and ready than it ever had been before a fight.

Part of that credit also goes to Makoto, she admitted to herself, All I have to do is show up and `save the day`, she has to manage the battle until that point.

Celestia lay under the relaxing heat and guiltily considered the need to break the enemies' morale by this continuous hammering, of which the Princesses and Bearers were to be the last and heaviest blow.

She considered simply preempting all the plans, going there now with all her forces bunkered down and safely tucked away out of danger and just showing the changeling how powerful she really was.

Not that they'd appreciate it for more than 10 seconds, she thought, No Makoto's plan is better, let me gain the moral victory where my mere presence tips the scales, that can be leveraged to other diplomatic ends, well played Makoto, well play - , then she realized Makoto had left one, huge trap for Celestia in her plan, She's got no exit strategy, she and her friends do all this, I show up at the last moment to clinch the victory, and then . . . what, they meekly walk to the gallows for their punishment. By Harmony, they might just do that! We attacked them without good cause once, putting a usurper to the sword is hardly out of line. Oh, very well played. No wonder Discord fled on seeing you. He made his dramatic entrance, and left the stage undiminished. Now I have to do the same. Oh, very well played.

Celestia grinned as she sought a way to turn the trap back on Makoto, rather than take the easy way and appear a tyrant.
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Chrysalis watched the blade slide down the well-greased tracks and slice through the thick loaf of Minotaur bread. While her neck burned with sympathetic pain, Blueblood examined the sliced loaf, and the machine.

"Ah, Queen Chrysalis," he said and glanced over his shoulder at the machine, "I'm afraid Makoto's protection of you will soon be over." He shrugged, then looked over his shoulder at the guillotine slicing off another thick piece of minotaur bread. "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure Celestia won't subject you to that, you're practically a pony." Blueblood smiled at her, and while his smile radiated sympathy and forthrightness, his paramount emotion was loathing. "No, we have motive improvement spells, reform spells, and kinds of subtler ways to bring a recalcitrant queen to bear. That - " The slice interrupted him. "Is for successful usurpers. Diplomacy is the art of the possible, and offering your apologies and an offer of compromise will go a long way to Princess Celestia seeing you as, well not an ally, but as another rightful ruler, one whose nation's goals are not the same as ours, but we can cooperate." His expression now mirrored his inner emotions. "Return her to her cell."

Chrysalis didn't jump as the blade sliced off another chunk of bread that fell into the basket awaiting it. A basket well able to hold a head.
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I always wanted people to believe me, he thought as he jumped over rocks and old mine car tracks, but above all, kept running, I should have specified that I didn't want their problems with what I said to be I didn't go far enough.

He considered the arrow sticking out of the camera he'd taken the picture of the elven warband with. The camera had saved his life, but its destruction erased the proof he had of the weird world he'd found himself in. The other arrow fired at him before he broke contact had hit the recorder.

Saved my life, but destroyed my notes, he thought as he considered the fact he was alive, but he'd lost his proof.

"The ponies have abandoned you," one of the elves shouted, then cursed as he discovered one of the tripping hazzards Carl had found on the way in.

Except I sent them ahead, Carl thought as he stopped next to a support that had deeply worried him when he'd passed under it going in. He picked up a large stone and threw it at the support from a short distance, then started running as the network of ancient wooden supports began groaning like Vincenzo missing his lunch.

The shouts of alarm from the elves made Carl smile as he ran. Until it slammed into something far too solid to move.
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Patrick grabbed Carl and dragged him to his feet. "Your message got through," he told the slightly stunned reporter, "Don't pull the arrow, I think I can save the film and the tape."

Carl nodded and ran for all he was worth. Patrick hadn't been joking when he called Carl a trouble magnet, all you had to be was ready to sweep in like the cavalry, and Carl was a tremendous asset.

The elves were digging their way out of the cave in Carl had rigged, and Patrick was in a chokepoint where they couldn't outflank him. He deployed the spell that had given him his one victory over Ranma, that even Ranma admitted was a clear win.

Not that he didn't beat it the next time I faced him, Patrick said as he vanished from sight and 15 duplicates appeared and moved to various defensive positions. Against Ranma he'd started with 25, and won, but Ranma didn't require a defense against counterspelling.

Of course the next time I hit her with 37, and she easily beat me, Patrick thought as smiled at the hellion he and Makoto had partnered with, I just wish I understood why they kept calling me 'Agent Smith' after I used this spell. Something I'm going to tickle out of them once the fighting is over.

The elves charged in and came to a halt as they saw what they were facing.

A moment later he was carefully chasing them.

Who the hell is Han Solo? Patrick thought of the elves' offhand comment as he screamed a bloodcurdling Rebel Yell in pursuit of the elves.