[Comedy]

This is a continuation of the first chapter of Starscribe's Ember Goes to the Spa (3,580 of 8,163 words, [Comedy][Random][Slice of Life])

EMBER GOES TO THE SPOILERS: After a grueling first day of negotiation—ever—Ember is just about ready to ransack Ponyville for what she wants and reduce the rest to ash. A panicking Spike convinces her to try one of the services she'd be burninating. After a clawicure, scale polish, and Bulk Biceps's most intense massage, Ember admits that this was a test to see if Spike would just tell her not to rampage like a pony, or if he'd convince her through actions like a dragon. Also, he will never speak of this to anyone.

Twilight tilted her head as she thought. "This is..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ember, but my answer remains no."

"What's the problem? I thought you ponies liked..." Ember's face twisted as she spat out the last word, "generosity."

"We do, and this offer is remarkably generous on your part. But I can't set a precedent of using Equestrian citizens as bargaining chips."

Ember rolled her eyes. "So wrap it in some flowery pony language. Say he's an ambassador or something."

"I might... if you explain why you're willing to exchange that many gems a year for Bulk Biceps of all ponies."

After a few seconds of silence, Ember said, "What's that word you keep using when I ask about your army?"

"Classified?"

"Right. That's classified."