The sky was darkening. The oncoming twilight entered uneasily through the heavy cloud cover above the city, creating an uncomfortable cold atmosphere over the city and its inhabitants as they shivered in their coats and watched the skies, thickened with low, heavy clouds. There was a mood of fear in the city, a mood becoming more and more common ever since the Night Terror's first attack. Ponies rushed home faster than normal, lights were left on, blinds were closed, apartment doors were locked, and security guards were awake and alert- and fearful that if the Night Terror so desired it, their lives would end that night. They kept their watch in apprehension and uneasy, scared anticipation of what could happen.

High above the streets, Rainbow Dash watched the clouds from their apartment window, uneasy and tense at the sight of the potential storm above Manehatten. She was circling her hoof on the windowsill, replaying the memory of the recent events of the day. It made her feel sick to her stomach reminding herself of what she had done- or what she was about to do.

She was the one that pushed for incarcerating Case File, on almost no evidence. And she was the one that had stood next to Twilight, about to kill Amadeus. Twilight had saved Amadeus's life before, at the attack at the docks. But both she and Rainbow had been ready and prepared to kill him. Her stomach lurched. Had she really been that close to killing Amadeus? She knew that if she didn't, then Twilight would have and Twilight would have been ruined of her reputation as a princess of friendship. How could somepony who believes in friendship commit murder, even justified murder? And then, just as she was about to, in her fear and anger, he had been killed anyway by Ironheart...

The worst part was, she could agree with him on some points. He was at least better than the rapists, robbers, murderers, and corrupt money exchangers that comprised the criminals in Manehatten. He showed mercy to the innocent. He specifically targeted criminals. And he had saved Twilight's life before. He had the choice not to, but he still did it. What did that mean about him? Did it mean that he wasn't as cold-blooded as Amadeus had prophesied before he had been impaled by Ironheart?

Rainbow was confused by it all. Was he a good guy or a bad guy? He had done some bad stuff, but what about saving the life of Twilight? What about leading them to safety, even though they had promised to fight against Ironheart if that happened? What about helping Fluttershy? What about his obvious emotions about the issue itself?

That part was also hard to figure out. He was a robot! He didn't have emotions! He couldn't feel what everypony else felt! And adding on to that, how was it possible for him to even exist in the first place? He was obviously more advanced than anything Rainbow had seen so far in her life, but how could he be physically possible? And how could he sprout guns from his body at will? Where did they go when he wasn't using them?

Rainbow banged her head on the windowsill. Why was it all so obscure?

"Um, Rainbow?" came a soft voice. "Are you feeling well?"

Rainbow looked behind her to see Fluttershy idling up next to her. Rainbow sighed and rubbed her face. "...No, Fluttershy. I'm not."

"You were thinking about that mean griffon, weren't you?" she asked. "The one you and Twilight almost..." She gulped. "killed?"

Astonishingly accurate. "Yeah, Shy. When I was there, with that saber in my teeth, and Amadeus had just slapped you across the face...I dunno what came over me. I just wanted to...to kill him, you know? He hurt you. He was trapping us. And I wanted to do something."

Fluttershy felt her left cheek slowly. There were still small spots of dried blood on it from where Amadeus had callously slapped her with all the force he could muster.

"Fluttershy...I'm worried," Rainbow continued.

"What do you mean?" she asked, laying her hoof atop Rainbow's. "What's eating you?"

Rainbow looked into Fluttershy's eyes. "What if I'm becoming like him?"

"Don't say that," she whispered.

"No, no, no, just listen," Rainbow told her. "I'm scared."

Fluttershy tilted her head. "Rainbow Dash? You're scared? You?"

"Please, just listen!" she snapped in irritation, and Fluttershy drew back, uncertain of what she had done. Seeing her do it made Rainbow take a deep breath and look away from her. "Ironheart...I think I'm becoming like him."

"Rainbow," Fluttershy said to her. "Don't ever say that. You're not Ironheart."

"I think I actually agree with him on some points," Rainbow said miserably. "I want to help the innocent, but the ponies that deserve it...I'd want to see them punished. I mean, I don't want to kill them, but still...I can't help but think that's the way things are supposed to be. To make ponies afraid of doing bad things." She looked at Fluttershy again. "You saw me, Fluttershy. You saw how close I was to killing him. And if Ironheart hadn't shown up...what would I have done?" She leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling like the room was lacking oxygen. She gasped a little and whispered, "I'm a killer in my heart, Fluttershy. I'm a killer in my heart."

She felt something pressing down on the back of her neck and she turned to see Fluttershy rubbing her neck and back comfortingly, like Ironheart had done to her. "Now, now, Rainbow. You don't know that. You're too strong to fall to Ironheart's level. You're stronger, and faster, and braver than that. You're still my friend."

"But what if I did?" she asked forlornly. The massage was working, but she felt no better at the same time. "What if I did kill him? Would you still love me like a friend? Would I still be your friend?"

Fluttershy did not immediately answer that. But after a moment she responded, "You would have done what anypony would have done in that situation. I wouldn't hold that against you."

"What anypony would have done?" she repeated blankly. "Are we all really like that, Fluttershy? Is everypony like that? Are we always so...so ready to kill others? Are we always willing to just...abandon friendship when we have no other option?"

Fluttershy was silent. Instead of answering, she continued to press gently into her back and press and rub and press and rub until Rainbow's mind had abandoned the thoughts she had about her weakened self and instead surrendered to the amazing sensations made by Fluttershy's pressing. She groaned. "Oh, goodness, how'd you become so good at massages, Shy?" she asked.

"Um...well, I just picked it up, I guess."

This reminded Rainbow of another aspect of the day. "Hey, uh, Flutters?"

"Hmm?"

She swallowed something in her mouth. "How did it feel when...when Ironheart was doing this to you?"

The rubbing stopped. "What?" Fluttershy asked uncertainly.

"You know...when he was singing to you and caressing you and reassuring you that everything would be all right?" she clarified uncomfortably. "What did you feel then?"

She took a moment before she responded. "I felt, um...happy. Calm. Rested and reassured and loved." She looked at him strangely. "Why do you ask?"

Rainbow sighed. "I just...I found it strange that he was able to feel sympathy and pity for you. That even though he's a murderer and a terrorist, he still has room in his iron heart to feel emotion and that he wanted to help you."

"Well, I think he's not as bad as we put him up to be," Fluttershy responded. "Maybe he's just a big softie inside."

But why does he kill?" Rainbow pressured. "How can you be capable of loving others and killing others at the same time?"

And she realized that she was pondering that question about herself, and not Ironheart.

"Rainbow..." Fluttershy began. "I know very well the concept of getting angry, but I also just want everypony to be happy and kind to each other. I think it's very much possible for Ironheart to have both those moods in him, just like any normal pony."

"But he's not just a normal pony," Rainbow pointed out. "He's a machine. A robot. He's emotionless. He's incapable of feeling that."

"Maybe he is," Fluttershy said. "But I think the pony controlling him isn't."

Rainbow craned her head to look at her. "What are you suggesting?"

"He's only a machine," Fluttershy pointed out. "He needs somepony to program him and tell him what to do. It's not Ironheart at all that's the danger. It's the pony behind his controls."

---

Twilight was lying on her bed. She was thinking over all that she had seen and heard from Ironheart that day. There was so many things about him she didn't understand. His metal body, his morality, his weapons.

And the Manehatten Project--what was that all about?

She looked at the pitiful dog-eared book she had placed on the bedside table. It was Ironheart's. It was the product of a known murderer and terrorist. And he had given it to them in hopes that it would make them 'Understand.' What secrets lay within the book?

Twilight slowly, hesitantly, activated her magic and the book floated over to her lap. It felt dangerous to the touch, like whatever lay inside would harm her. Looking from the top, she noticed some pages were bookmarked with a red ribbon.

She then opened the book to the first page and looked up. "I'm reading the book Ironheart gave us," she announced.

"Ironheart gave you a book?" Pinkie asked excitedly. "I can't believe it! He's giving out presents now? I wanted a present!"

"You were on his couches, Pinkie," Twilight reminded her. "You weren't there to see it. He gave us this in hopes that we might understand his intentions and his...his murder of Bright Mind."

"He killed Bright Mind?" Rarity asked in shock. "So not only is Ironheart the pony that killed Bright Mind and stole Bright Mind's weapons, but he's also the Night Terror and Client 24 at the same time?"

Twilight nodded. "He's in this a lot, Ironheart. He's so widespread and dangerous that everything can be traced back to him."

"But why'd he kill Bright Mind?" Applejack asked. "Ah thought he only went after the ponies that deserved ta die. Why'd he go after an innocent?"

Twilight bit her lip and looked down. "I don't know," she replied. "But we're going to find out together." Outside, the skies had darkened completely, not a speck of light showing.

Spike came up first and sat in her lap next to the old book. And the rest of her friends gathered up next to her, one at a time. Twilight held the book out so everyone could see, and cleared her throat and began to read aloud on the inside cover page.

My name is Bright Mind, and this I want to leave a trace of what happened in my days as a scientist in the Royal Canterlot Lab under the development project known as Project 24- to create a weapon of such devastating power that it will render all previous power useless.

"Bright Mind's lab journal?" Twilight was confused. "Why does he have this?"

"Jus' keep readin', Twi," Applejack said. Twilight turned to the first bookmarked page and read aloud. The date was in month-day-year format at the top corner of journal entries on the old paper. The year was 6/27/997, the last number referring to the number of years after Princess Luna's banishment to the moon.

6/27/997: Today was my graduation from Celestia's school for Gifted Unicorns! Yay! After seven whole years of study, I'm finally out to explore my future as an engineer!

"He was in the school for Gifted Unicorns?" Twilight asked in surprise.

Celestia was very proud to speak on our behalf at our graduation. I think we'll be really good friends, her and me. She spoke to me when I first was brought in as a young colt and said that I was the best pony to be enrolled so far in the school, but there was another pony coming in that could show almost as much potential as me.

And that was the first time I ever heard the name Twilight Sparkle. Maybe I'll be her sub-tutor someday after she graduates!

"Are you seeing this?" Pinkie asked Twilight excitedly. "He knew about you! Bright Mind wanted to be your tutor! AAAAAH!" She hugged Twilight from behind in a bone-crushing grip, making the book fumble.

"Pinkie, git off," Applejack told her, prying off her hooves with unnatural strength. Twilight picked up the book again, thinking about the words written down. He knew about her, even though she didn't know about him? Well, of course, since he was supposed to be involved in a secret project.

Celestia also announced that we would all be selected to participate in a project to assemble an object that could be employed to help serve Equestria. Good! I love the feeling of mattering to her. She's the one that's built me up to be the pony I want to be. I just want to not let her down. And I swear I won't.

Fluttershy was smiling. "Oh, my! He's certainly got big dreams! I'd want to be his friend!"

Twilight went to the next page and started to read some more.

9/15/997:Today, me and the rest of the graduating class went to the official Canterlot Lab to start our work on the project. Given the outlines she gave to us in the months before, we need to construct a sort of weapon for the defense of Equestria. Not what I would have wanted, but still, if that's what matters, that's what I'll do. The pony that's funding the project is someone called Count Privilege, one of the richest ponies that came from northern Equestria, where there's Las Pegasus and Baltimare and Manehatten and all those rich cities. I don't know for certain, but I think he was looking at me with a bit of distaste. What did I do?

Princess Celestia put us into sub-groups of research and development. I was put into the best branch of the laboratory--the actual process of creating a powerful weapon that will advance technology beyond all current understanding. But there was a bit of bad news for me, the worst I could imagine: Alpha Nevada was also there.

"Who now?" Rainbow asked, squinting at the name.

Out of all the miserable luck in the world, I had to be put with him! Why? Why must fate make our paths cross once again? Why do I have to be with him? I'm doomed! Not him! Anyone but him! My foalhood bully? And the worst part is, I tried to lodge a complaint to Celestia, but she was too busy with the dignitaries! Do I not matter to her? Do I not matter to anyone?

"So wait- this "Alpha Nevada" was his foalhood bully?" Rainbow asked, her eyes more open than they had been before. "And he worked with Bright Mind?"

"This won't end well," Rarity predicted grimly. Twilight read the next entry.

9/16/977: The first official day of the project began with me getting ejected from the planning meeting everypony else was at. They didn't have to do that, you know. They could have let me contribute ideas. I had an idea for a weapon myself, but nopony else wanted to hear it. They just sent me out and said for me go get them some snacks from the vending machines or else they'd let Celestia know I wasn't working on the project and wasn't in the planning meeting.

What else could I do? I had to go and get them their snacks. And by the time I got back, the meeting had ended and they were packing up. Right then, I didn't want to even work with them anymore. I wanted to go out and go away from these guys, the guys that seem like every typical idiot in high school movies. I wanted nothing to do with them.

But at the end of the day I decided to have the courage to stay, and to keep my head down. If I were to leave from the project, that would only mean I was weak, that I didn't have the courage to carry on in the face of adversity. I don't want it to be clear to everyone that Bright Mind is the weakest pony to be grown in Canterlot, that he was elected to carry out a project but he backed out of it because of his teammates. I will be stronger than that. I don't want anything more to ruin my image. But all the same, I wish there was a way to deal with them.

Outside, a sinister, deep, indiscernible rumbling noise emanated from the dark skies. Twilight turned her head to look at the windowsill. With a bit of magic, the windows slammed shut. "It's going to rain," she said quietly.

"He just let them bully him?" Rainbow asked incredulously.

"Well, he wan't the biggest of 'em all, ya know," Applejack pointed out. "How else could he have stood up to 'em without goin' ta other ponies?"

"He should have done something!" Rarity said. "Just letting them bully you does no good."

"Ah've seen this in Apple Bloom," Applejack told her. "She didn't want ta go ta me when Babs Seed was bullyin' her a while back. That'd be seen as a sign of weakness, that she could be broken and couldn't stand up ta Babs without help. In Babs's eyes, that'd be seen as a victory for her. Ah can understand his reasonin' here."

Twilight flipped to the next bookmarked page and read aloud some more.

10/23/997: I have been working on Project 24 for over a month now, and I barely matter to the ponies in charge. Not Alpha Nevada, not my supervisor and funder of the project, Count Privilege, not even to Celestia! I suppose the reason Count Privilege doesn't like me is because I had to get in free on behalf of Celestia and he sees me as a piece of work that's not supposed to be there. He's probably the one telling everypony lies and persuading them to hurt me. My nickname to them is now "Dirty Mind." They tease me for having these weird vivid sex dreams in my head, that that's all I'm ever going to get, that I'll never find a mare for myself to love.

And they're right about one thing. I'll never find a mare for myself to love. Every mare in the research department either ignores me or hates me for getting in their way when I have to scurry away from my own abusive partners. And I'd hate to admit it, but the dreams they say I have...exist. But I'll never get a special somepony anytime soon. Why should I? I've barely got any money to impress them anyways. I've been living on my own ever since the house fire, ever since mom and my sister died in that fire. But at least I'm away from my dad and living alone now. I've learned that it's a good thing to get away from him when he's in a bad mood and comes home late.

I hate this project. But I don't mean I hate what I'm doing, I mean I hate the stupidity and pretentiousness that infests it. It means I hate the selfish and ignorant ponies there. I hate stress and high expectations. I hate being treated like garbage. I hate being treated like a failure all the time.

Twilight felt like her stomach was churning like a cement mixer. She felt awful, and sick. Outside, there was a few plinks as rain started to fall on the window slowly.

"Man, this guy..." Rainbow shuddered. "This guy's got it bad."

"This isn't a very happy story, Twilight," Pinkie protested. Her ears were flat against her head.

"No." Twilight's voice was determined. "It isn't." She flipped to the next bookmarked page.

11/02/997: I hated today.

Today I was supposed to create a file in under ten minutes for Count Privilege. And I'm good enough for that, I can do that. But the only problem was, there was a technological error that made it so that the final part of it that I needed was unavailable. I spent the eight minutes I had left trying to correct it, but it's hard when you get spitballs in the back of the head every so often. And it was uncooperative and stupid, and I couldn't do anything to correct it, no matter what I did. When I had to present the unfinished file, Count Privilege yelled at me and said that I was stupid and lazy and inefficient, and that I shouldn't stay on Project 24 anymore. And I felt so ashamed for breaking down in front of them, for letting tears show and having my stomach hurt and having my throat tighten in front of them and running out of the room so I wouldn't have to endure their taunts anymore. I slumped against the wall and I cried. I bawled like a little baby, like a broken-hearted child, like the child they insist I am.

And when I came back into the room, I noticed the title of my file had been erased and replaced with PORN in big red capital letters. I couldn't see who had done it, but I knew that it was Alpha, that he snickered and said, "Oooh, you're getting in trouble, Dirty Mind!" I tried to get rid of it, but it's permanent now, I can't delete it, I can't throw it away like Alpha and Count Privilege threw me away like the garbage they think I am.

And Count Privilege, who I'm sure knows exactly what happened there, wrote me up and made me go in front of Celestia herself for my "Heinous crime." Standing there, in my outrage and sadness, Celestia told me that what I did was an act of shame against her and the Canterlot scientific community. I'm not punished this time, but if it happens again, I'll be kicked out of the project for good and I'll have to pay a hefty fine for it.

As I'm lying in my bed and writing about it now, just thinking of it makes a tear come to the corner of my eye, makes me ashamed and angry all over again. And I know that Equestria is supposed to be a land of friendship and equality and tolerance and love, but thinking about them and thinking about how they hurt me and how they threw me to the side like garbage...dark thoughts have entered my head. Evil thoughts, thoughts Luna should be glad she can't see in my daydreams.

I want to see them bleed.

"Oh!" Fluttershy recoiled slightly. "Oh my goodness, that took a turn!"

Twilight agreed. She couldn't even read aloud the next part. She could barely even look at it.

I want to hear them scream as I hurt them. I want to see their blood drip onto the ground, and to see them shudder in disgust as I drink it and spit it on them. I want to castrate them with a rusty pair of hedge clippers and I want to feed them their own gonads that I cut off. I want to feel their flesh be broken as I drive a knife into their softest spots and I want to watch them writhe in agony as they burn in front of my eyes. I want to hear their pleas for mercy, and I want to be the one to smile at them as their flesh burns in front of my face, and the last thing they'll see is my grinning face, alive with joy at last as they slump to the ground and get consumed with fire.

They say the world's not fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? Why is the world allying itself with the wrong ponies to uplift the powers of darkness and hurt me? Why aren't they judged for their works of darkness? Why do they have to get away totally free, but I'm condemned for things I didn't even do? If I'm going to be condemned, why not do something to deserve it, and get revenge while you're at it? Why not? I can do that, can't I? I not only have the right, I have the privilege, to use the unflattering term. I can hurt them if I want to, can't I, since that's what they're doing to me? Why cripple myself and give myself the disadvantage by loving them?

Oh Celestia, what am I doing? Why do I have these thoughts? Why am I so murderous in my heart? Why am I so willing to hurt them and become like them all over again? It's like I'm descending into my own personal Tartarus, my own kind of torture chamber, where I have to choose for myself how I should torment myself! Neither side is very good, but what do I do? What do I do? Why am I a killer in my heart? How deep will I descend?

Rainbow Dash held a hoof to her heart, remembering the dark thoughts she had for herself. She caught Fluttershy looking with horror at the murderous paper, then turn to face her, both of them remembering the awful conversation they had.

The rain was picking up speed now, lashing against the windows with renewed vigor, the impacts on the glass sounding like the crackle of electricity. A wind made the rain flow to the horizontal, making it seem all the more unnatural.

The next bookmarked page was the most depressing of all.

12/25/997: Happy Hearth's Warming to me, I suppose.

There's nopony else to wish me it, after all. Living alone, there are no presents under the tree, nopony waking up next to you to whisper loving words to you on this day, nopony to give you love and affection on this day. There's no children running to your room and jumping on your bed, excited for the goodness that awaits them. There's nopony to help you make cookies, and the smell of them is gone from your bare, limp apartment. Oh, that I wish I had somepony to love me! Oh, that I wish I could love somepony back! As I'm resting here alone in my hard, dirty, empty bed, writing these words, I'm shaking with the cold in my empty apartment. Empty of love. Empty of cheer. Empty of life.

There really are no presents under my plastic tree that has dim, broken lights and sparse decorations. There really are no carolers coming to your house to give you presents, no lines of truffles and plates of food on your table, no bright, shining material, no kisses, no warmth in your house. No Hearth's Warming spirit. None of it. I tried to invite its spirit, but even now I can faintly hear the pathetic rain pattering outside, and the wind that lashes at my windows sounds like the howling of wolf demons. My friendship is dead. As dead as my hope for my future with Alpha. He will try to kill me eventually, I know it. But I want to do it before he does.

The light is gone from my world in winter. Their lights shine bright, but I'm not bright. I'm dirty. Everypony else says so.

A tear just ran down my face. I wiped it away and it dropped on the page, right there on the word dirty.

"Hey, uh, Twilight?" Spike asked, breathing heavily. "I want to go to bed now. This...this is just awful for me to listen to." He clambered out of Twilight's lap, off the bed, and walked out of the main living space to go to his room. Outside, the wind was howling like forlorn wolves.

"I want to go back in time and give him a hug!" Pinkie declared sadly. "If anypony needs it, it's him."

"I agree," Rarity said with her face distressed with sadness. "He truly does sound like a lost soul."

Twilight went to the next bookmarked entry and read aloud some more. Outside, a crack of thunder sounded, sundering the heavens.

2/22/998: They're starting on working with electricity and magnetism to use to control objects. After all, the point of the project is new and innovative technology to be used in weapons. And I can understand how electromagnetism could be advantageous. But I still want to try out some ideas of my own.

Not that Alpha Nevada wants me to, of course. Once, I was putting plans together for a weapon that utilizes pressurized gas to launch an object far enough you could stand at one end of a Hoofball field and fire it, and it would hit a target on the other end. He came in when I was using the restroom and he saw it and he dumped it into the fireplace, and when I got back I could see the stuff crackling and shriveling up, and he swore to Faust that it was a mistake. But I knew better. I could see that smug glint in his eye, that malicious shine that indicates an unwillingness to change. And I couldn't lash out, I couldn't accuse him, because that would just prove that I was doing secret work behind his back.

Once again, I can't help the feelings of hatred towards them all. I mean, what, can I feel good about what they're doing instead? I've talked to a few counselors, and they say that anger is a secondary reaction to other feelings I may be having. Anger is just a byproduct of other feelings like disgust, or annoyance, or sadness. They also say that the choice is yours of how to respond to it. They say that I choose to feel mad at them, that it's my fault that I'm sad and angry and humiliated all the time, because of a byproduct of being abused.

I choose to be mad or offended? Excuse me? It's my fault that I've been hurt? It's my fault that the dark powers of the world have conspired against me to hate me and persecute me to the grave? First the bullying at school, then the abuse by dad, then the house fire, and now this?

But listen here, Bright Mind, you can control every single negative influence in your life, and there's absolutely no reason at all why you shouldn't be able to! Stop feeling those uncontrollable emotions like sadness and offense, Bright Mind! Stop feeling these kinds of things that are just natural to everyone else! Stop feeling like you deserve to be protected from other ponies that want to hurt you! Stop feeling at all!

But I can't help these thoughts of hatred and revulsion and revenge. Why are these thoughts I'm feeling feel so good? Why are they feeling so good and yet so bad at the same time? I want to hurt them, but I just can't. I'm too small and weak and pathetic. And how can I? They're fellow ponies- like me! I need to try to love them, even though I don't want to.

I want to just be celebrated for what I do, even with me in the face of disaster.

I need to do the best I can.

I love them, even with all of the stuff they're doing to me.

I hate them. They all need to die. I hate them all. They must be punished. They must burn in Tartarus for what they did. And I will send them there myself, even if it's the last thing I do. Even if I have to go down kicking and screaming, I want to hurt them so bad! I want to watch their blood flow out of them. I want to spit on their corpses. I want to defile their worth as living beings in the most unimaginable ways possible.

Oh, Holy Celestia! What did I just write down? That was just an explosion of emotion; I didn't really mean it! What am I thinking anymore? Who even am I? Am I a good pony anymore because of these thoughts of pain and worthlessness? Am I worth keeping on the earth?

I know that they certainly aren't.

I'm stuck here. I don't know where to go, what to do, how to go on living anymore! I can't go to Celestia for help- she'd probably say no, and Alpha and Count Privilege will just go on hurting me even more because I will have proved to them that I'm too weak to stand alone, that I'm using Celestia as a shield. And I can't commit suicide, either, since I just know I'll end up in Tartarus for that.

But on the other hoof, I no longer fear Tartarus now that I have gone through these years at the lab.

And I can't hurt them either. I'm too small and weak for that. I'm good in unicorn magic, but I don't know any offensive spells! If I rush them, I'll get the piss beaten out of me!

But hold on! I was just struck with a thought! I can hurt them after all- I just need to possess the capability to inflict pain on others. Right now I'm just weak, and small, and pathetic. But what if I could create something that can change that?

Not liking the ominous statement a bit, or the fact that he didn't cross it out, Twilight flipped to the next entry, a little further back.

11/9/998: I haven't written hefty entries in a while; you can observe my past entries and see for yourself. But I just wanted to say that I've not been better since. The harassment is as worse as before, except now the news that I'm weak has grown to outside spheres of influence and now the entire lab hates me for some reason. Ponies dump stuff on me at lunch; I've counted pudding cups, chocolate milk, and spare pieces of pizza. I've taken to staying in my private lab during lunch now, and go hungry every day rather than endure that. But at least it also means I have more time to work on my projects.

I've drawn up blueprints behind the backs of Count Privilege and Alpha Nevada. Blueprints of my improved projectile weapon- and another, much more complicated bit of technology I need for my secret project. I've been staying after my work hours day after day trying to ease out all the wrinkles, but I believe it can be done. I'm close now; I can feel it. The project I need needs a power source that needs little to no maintenance. And I think I've figured out something that might work for me. This is going to be hard work, but if it means a better life for me, I'm all for it.

Twilight flipped to the next bookmarked page, a greater sense of unease in her heart than before. It was further along than usual, halfway through the book. The hoofwriting was more slanted, and more shoddy and harder to read.

6/15/999: My goodness, has it really been seven months? I am sorry for not writing more often. I've been too focused on my work. Not just work on Project 24, but on another, more...personal project of mine. One that I believe will give me an advantage over them after all. I've assembled a plan for how to make it, and I have a kind of secret weapon that they don't know about, that will level the playing field.

It's been two whole years since I've been put through Tartarus and been with Alpha Nevada and Count Privilege and all of their cronies. I think the reason we've made such slow progress is actually because of them, because they have no real idea of how to make this kind of weapon and they hurt and persecute the only pony that actually cares about the darn thing. Right now they're trying to focus on magnetism. But they're missing out on what's so plainly obvious in their faces! Because I have-no, I had an idea, all those months ago.

Explosions are just pushes of force outward. If you were to put an explosive device next to an object and trigger it, the object would be sent flying. What if we were to focus an explosive device so it could push an object in the direction we want it to go? A small object- it doesn't have to be large. Magnets to push an object- those idiots, missing out on what can be truly exploited- the raw, untamed force of nature, shown in volcanoes to push out their loads of rocks and magma! Explosions can push small objects at an indeterminable speed!

But how can we create an explosion controlled enough to push it the way we want without blowing up the weapon in question? Observe the simple firework. The special kind of powder it burns up to push its way across the sky and explode...can be used for a far better purpose. My purpose.

Only Dr. Brainstem, a pony that specializes in damages weapons inflict, believes me. He's the only pony I've told it to, the only pony I know of that's seen me and has had pity on me. I'm too afraid to give it to anyone else. But right now I'm trying to modify the powder and change it so that it can push out an object with the force to shatter bone and tear through skin and make blood flow down your filthy body. The powder in fireworks makes it explode, but I don't want my projectiles to explode. I want them to be lodged in the target.

I've already created a prototype of the weapon, which I call a Gun. But I'm going to present an image that I've only just discovered the capability to launch the projectile with a special kind of firework fuel, which I call Gunpowder. I want to give off the illusion that I'm slow, that I'm further behind on it than I really am. Anything to allow them to not see suspicion. I need all the advantage I can get for now.

I've actually already created several models of the weapons in secret- several different types that I plan to use in my project. I can use the power in my secret weapons to be used for my project under development- a project I am building that I can use to do my bidding for me.

A long crick-crackle of lightning tore through the sky, seemingly right outside their window, accompanied by a deep BOOM that shook the earth underneath them.

I call the project Ironheart.

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