...

...

Was I dead?

Was this what death felt like?

...

...

... Oh who am I kidding? I've never been that lucky.

Slowly I gathered up my courage and opened my eyes.

What greeted me was a field of stars. Infinitesimal pin pricks of light that felt eternities away, but at the same time just barely out of reach.

“Nightmare Moon the Thief, Princess Luna Fiendbane the Lost, Lucas Maan, sister, brother...” called a genderless voice from behind me. "Monster."

I froze, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

“Look at me.”

Even those who had never heard the voice before would instinctively know who it was.

“Harmony.” I greeted coldly, turning around.

Harmony had chosen to take the form of an Alicorn made of bright light again, light from all across the spectrum, even colors I was sure were outside of the visible range of both human and pony.

Harmony said nothing, and although I couldn’t see an expression through the light, I knew they were serenely calm.

“So now what? You got me with the elements, I’m powerless and at your mercy.” I snarled. “Do it. Finish what you started a thousand years ago.”

“No Luna, that is not why you’re here.” Harmony stated.

“Oh yeah?” I asked sarcastically, uncaring if I actually made them mad. “Then do tell Harmony, what is to be my punishment this time? Maybe try again with the launching into the moon? How about a new statue? Or are we going for a lobotomy this time? Y’know wipe me clean so the next iteration doesn’t do what I did!” I stomped a hoof angrily. “Because that’s what you do to monsters! Monsters like ME!”

“You’re not a monster Luna.” Harmony calmly retorted.

“Tell that to all the people I’ve killed! Tell that to every single soul I’ve terrorized!” I growled. “Tell that to myself when I enjoyed it!”

Harmony was silent for a moment.

“You’re hurt Luna.” they said finally. “More hurt then you realize.”

“Hurt?!” I cried. “Of fucking course I’m hurt!” I advanced threateningly, but Harmony remained still. “I’ve gone through two lives! One of which was several lifetimes long! And both times I tried to be kind! I tried to be the best person I could be! I tried again and again and again and look where it got me!”

Dimly I realized I was crying.

“I have no friends! No one cares about me! The only Pony who did has to be long dead by now! No one cares about my work! What little family I have either hates me or wants to sweep me under the rug to cover her own mistakes!”

“I have nothing!” I screamed in Harmony’s face. “What else am I supposed to do? I can’t be myself without earning the ire of all I see! I can’t fake a personality to gain friends! Then I’m being deceitful and manipulative! So tell me Harmony, what am I supposed to do? Because I legitimately do not know! I do not understand what else I can do! It’s either become the monster everyone already sees, or do nothing and still make enemies!” I prodded Harmony’s barrel with a stern hoof. For a being made of light, they were surprisingly solid. “I cannot stay with Humanity, I cannot go back to Celestia, and I don't think that surviving reentry is a trick I can pull off again!”

“So g-get it over with a-already! I don’t h-have anything else!” I sobbed, falling to the floor. “Just turn me into a pile of ash and be done with it…” I turned to look away.

Silence.

“Do you really think Celestia came to Earth just to tie up a loose end?” Harmony asked after a moment.

"Why else-" I began.

“Celestia could have left you all alone here." Harmony interuppted. "She did not need to travel across the local star cluster simply to make sure a monster did not attack her ponies.” Harmony stated, looking upwards at the stars above.

“Of course she did! Why else would she come?” I repeated.

“If I were to ask you which star is your home system, would you be able to point to it?” Harmony bluntly asked.

“Um…”

“Even if you wanted to take your revenge on Equestria, you never would have found your way back home... Or at least, you would've had extreme difficulty.” Harmony continued. “No, Celestia followed you here as soon as she felt your aura awaken for a different reason.” Harmony gently cupped my cheek with a hoof. “She came here to ask for your forgiveness and take you home.”

“But I’m a horrible monster who-” I stammered.

“And your human family;” Harmony interrupted. “Even with everything they’ve said and done, they turn to you when they need you the most because they trust you.”

“Yeah, as nothing more than a tool to be use-”

“As a bedrock they can reliably return to in strife.” Harmony admonished. “Even with everything you have done, you have always done nothing less than your best. You still continue to uphold the elements you represented all those years ago. Honesty to hold yourself accountable in the name of justice. Loyalty to the downtrodden and defenseless. And the generosity to give all of yourself to what you believe is a just cause. You are, and always have been, worthy.”

Harmony bent their head down to nuzzle the top of my head.

"You have many loved ones who miss you Luna." They said quietly.

Just as she said that, pale mirages of people began to float by.

I didn't recognize the initial ones at first. But my memory was quickly jogged due to my extremely recent encounter with them.

The Ponies who bore the Elements...

"Oh the poor thing..." Kindness cooed.

"I can't imagine what she's been through... What's life without a party?!" Laughter exclaimed histerically.

"Darling, it's hard to wrap my head around the whole situation. I simply can not understand how a mare who's given so much can receive so little..." Generosity stated.

"Yeah... I dunno... Everypony keeps demanding her loyalty but won't give it back. It makes a mare think y'know?" Loyalty admitted.

"Ah ain't one fer stretching the truth... But Ah gotta say... She's been given a deal that ain't worth a hoot." Honesty informed.

Next however was Sarah.

But it was a different Sarah then I remembered. Her hair was now cropped short, and she was dejectedly kicking something.

"I- I should've been nicer..." She admitted.

The mirage of Sarah slid away, making away for Mom... Human Mom that is.

She looked to be sitting on something, her back bent as she massaged her temples.

"Was there anything I could've done different?"

Then an orange Unicorn mare took her place.

"If I had known the truth... I don't think I would've been such a bitch." the mare stated with the voice I knew as 'Sunset' Shimmer'.

My breath hitched as the visage of the orange mare was replaced by that of a lavender one.

The mare who undoubtedly held the Spark.

"I don't know what to say." She admitted. "I've heard Princess Celestia's reasons, and I've gone through all the documents I can get. And... It's horrible. All horrible. But yet I can understand where everypony is coming from. I wish I could say that everypony should know better... But I can't. It's disturbingly unfortunate that everything landed on the withers of a single mare. I wish it weren't so, because it's not fair. It wouldn't be fair to anyone." the phantasm sighed. "I can't help but imagining I'm in her horseshoes... And... I'm not sure if I would've done anything differently..."

The lavender mare floated by, her ears drooping.

My ears suddenly perked at the familiar sound of ringing bells.

While no mirage had replaced the lavender mare, it was clear who was speaking.

Ancient one, lonely one, come rest your head;
I'll hold you gently, safe from Death's grasp;
I smile upon you my weathered Champion;
Come ancient wanderer, come home;
This is your hour...

And finally... A white shape that was larger than all the others appeared.

It was Celestia, laying on the ground and weeping.

"I..." she sobbed. "I... I don't know how I can apologize enough..."

And then she too was gone.

Thus the parade of visions ended.

"... Why show me these things?" I asked, my voice creaking with emotion.

“Because you need to learn how to feel the love you already have and deserve.”

“Easier said than done."

“I am only here for half of the problem.” Harmony chided. “But I can think of someone who can help.”

Suddenly a wing wrapped itself around my shoulders.

I looked away from the literal God and saw my own face. Or rather, the face that I had stolen.

The original Luna, with a mane as glorious and as majestic as the real Princess Celestia, only minutes before, smiled kindly down at me.

“H-how…?” I stammered.

“I am proud of you Luna. And yes, you are the original Luna.” she replied.

"Then what are you?" I asked.

"I'm a recollection… A recollection of you." she supplied with a small smile.

"A recollection? Whose recollection?" I asked, confused.

"Who else’s? Harmony’s. Think of me like… A computer back up of you. Everything you were, are, and will be. Everything you know, I know. Everything you feel, I feel... And with all the context I have… I am proud. You have been beaten, battered and thrown aside, and yet you stand.” she nuzzled me as well. “Not even our greatest mistake, the Nightmare, could lay you low.”

“But it nearly did!” I protested. “The only reason I’m coherent right now is because I’m pretty sure Harmony is holding me together!” I pointed towards the Alicorn of Light, only to realize they had disappeared at some point.

“And yet here you are, alive while it is not.” the other Luna chided.

"I- It's dead?"

"Indeed." the reflection nodded. "And that is no small feat. Trust me when I say, today is a day that will be remembered and celebrated forever."

“Celebrated? Why?”

"All in good time." the other Luna nodded. "But in the meantime, my advice for you is to learn how to be alive again.”

“What good is being alive when I can’t enjoy it?” I reposted with a snort. “Even if I forgive any of them... How can I trust anyone anymore after what's been done to me? No matter how I look at it... I'm ruined. I can never belong again."

“Perhaps…” the recollection admitted. “But then again, your lifetime is much longer than what most would consider ‘normal’.” she paused for a moment. “How about this; Return to the physical plane, heal, rest, and sort yourself out-”

“What do you think I’ve been-” I tried to interject.

“What you’ve been doing most certainly is not resting and healing.” the larger Pony interrupted. “What you have been doing is doing your best to survive in hostile waters with little respite.”

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"Beats me. I have done, am doing, and will do the same thing." the other Luna admitted with a shrug.

What could I say to argue that?

What could I possibly say to counter?

Even here, practically being held together by the powers of a literal deity, I was tired.

So fucking tired…

I just wanted to lie down... And sleep.

“I- I am tired…” I admitted out loud.

“I know Luna. I know.” the majestic version of myself stated. “Just lay down and go to sleep.”

“That- Sounds like a good idea…”

“I promise everything will be alright...”

And if you're wondering where the poem comes from...
https://youtu.be/cusSGLwDk7Y?si=j-XtyIceZs-0CIoq