"Dash, you go for the face. AJ, for the legs. Fluttershy, continue to get ponies out of here to saftey! Rarity, you're with me! We're gonna be blasting this thing until it's gone! Pinkie!"

"Party cannon set to lethal, Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted, bouncing on the spot.

Nearby, a huge lizardlike creature of a kind that nopony had ever seen before rampaged through Canterlot, destroying buildings and leaving a path of utter destruction in its wake.

"Twilight," said Rarity, "don't you think this is a little big for our little group? Where are the other princesses?"

"I don't know, and we don't have time to find out!" shouted Twilight, a beam of pure magical energy lancing from her horn and into the monster's side. It didn't seem to notice. Rainbow Dash flew around the thing's head, dodging its swipes like a madmare and occasionally punching it in the head, but to no effect. Pinkie had already fired a huge, pony-sized missile into the back of the beast, and the explosion had only caused a few nearby buildings to crumble and fall. Applejack was being dragged along behind the monster by a lasso that she had somehow managed to get around its leg.

In other words, they were losing.

And they were about to start losing a lot worse.

The monster kicked out with its right leg, and practically punted Pinkie Pie and her party cannon into a wall, causing the wall to crack and break. A violet shield appeared around Pinkie and shielded her from the falling debris, which completely covered the shield. Rainbow Dash hadseen the whole thing and had paused mid-flight to see if her friend was okay, and the monster used that to its advantage by slapping her out of the air and into the ground, forming a crater. Meanwhile, Rarity and Twilight continued blasting away at the monster's side while alternating turns of moving the rubble off of the shield that protected Pinkie.

Applejack gave up on the lasso and instead ran to the crater that had formed around the fallen Rainbow Dash. Glancing up, she could see the monster staring down towards where Twilight and Rarity were standing.

"C'mon now, sugarcube." Yelled Applejack as she scooped up Dash onto her back before leaping out of the crater. They were just in time as right after Applejack cleared the edge, the huge creature stomped right in the middle of the crater where Dash had been only moments before.

A pair of dual beams, one violet and one blue, struck the creature in the eye just before a pink missile streaked into its face and exploded.

"Give it all you've got, Rarity!" shouted Twilight as she increased the strength of her own energy beam, causing it to glow brighter. Pinkie loaded another missile and fired, this time aiming for the neck of the monster.

Then, the thing roared. it was not a roar of pain, nor a roar of anger. No, it was a roar of triumph. The creature opened its maw wide, and time seemed to slow as a wall of white-hot flame poured from its open mouth, headed directly for Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie.

Twilight raised a shield over her two friends and herself, and the fire poured over it without harming them. After a few seconds, the flames shifted to a new location that was a short distance from the creature's feet, and then the beast closed its mouth, ceasing the blast of fiery death. It took Twilight less than a second to deduce exactly what the monster had been aiming at. She teleported through the shield to where Applejack and Dash had been, where they should be.

There was nothing left. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were gone.

You have died. said the white block lettering that now floated in the darkness in front of two new unconscious ponies. Meeting new souls of this variety was usually a nice experience; rarely did a pony be rude to me. I gave the newcomers a quick once-over: one was a pegasus with a cyan coat and a rainbow mane, and the other was an "earth pony" with an orange coat and a sandy mane. Hidden in the darkness behind them, I snapped my fingers and immediately they both awoke.

"Geez, that got hot for a moment there AJ... but seeing as we're not dead I guess it wasn't too hot for me 'n you."

I stifled a laugh at the words of the rainbow-maned pegasus mare.

"Uh, sugarcube?" said the orange pony. She was staring at the words as she got to her hooves. "Are y'all sure we're not dead?"

The pegasus looked up and saw the words before snorting once. "Pinkie, this isn't a very funny joke. You can stop now." she said, standing as well.

I remained silent, as it was best to let the recently departed figure out that they were, well dead on their own. The sign was a little extra thing on my part, as it eased some beings into being dead much more easily. So, I watched silently as the pegasus began to panic, as no being had replied to her response.

"Pinkie! This isn't... this isn't funny..." she said, her voice cracking.

"Dash... don't be like that. Maybe it's one o' Discord's pranks or somethin'." said the orange pony, her voice wavering a little. "Now, where's muh hat?"

"We're possibly dead and you're worried about your hat?" said the blue pegasus, giving the orange pony an annoyed look. All signs of despair had left the pegasus's face, and instead she looked determined.

"Well, uh, Dash, does it look like there's anyplace else t' go?" replied the orange pony, using a hoof to point out into the blackness. "S' not like there's anypony else here other than us."

I regarded the orange pony's statement with curiosity. Why did they come in as a pair? Usually the new souls come alone, unless they're bonded through strong love. Or hate, but that wasn't the case here. Obviously, those two were lovers! Oh, I could not wait to hear how they met! It's so rare to get a good love story nowadays.

I watched the orange pony look around on the black floor for a hat that was not there, and had to hold back another laugh as the rainbow maned one began to search as well. Heck, if they found the orange one's hat then I'd get an order from Above to send 'em back.

"Aha!" shouted the pegasus, holding aloft a brown cowpony hat in her wing.

And then a letter addressed to me appeared in front of my face. "No fexin' way..." I said, unfolding the letter. I scanned it quickly before releasing my breath. It was from my long-dead yet still-kicking mother. I would have to write back or she'd kick my fanny from here to heaven. Later.

The orange pony trotted over to the blue pegasus and reached for her hat, only for it to be held out of her reach. "Rainbow Dash you give my hat right now or I'll-"

"You'll what? Kill me? We're already dead!"

"We don't know that for sure now, so give me my hat back!" The orange pony- Applejack, jumped on top of the blue pegasus and tried to wrestle the hat away from her, to no avail. "Dash! Please!"

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." said the blue pegasus- Rainbow Dash, before the hat was snatched out of her wings by an angry looking Applejack.

I figured that I had given them enough time to get over being dead, and if I hadn't then the worst that could happen is that they ran, and that would be funny. Probably.

So, I revealed myself. Neither pony noticed, as I was still behind them, so I took a few steps to get a bit closer and cleared my throat before giving my best friendly smile. Like most beings, both screamed at the sight of me before turning tail and bolting. And man, they were fast!

The two ponies weren't able to get very far as I made two walls form in front of them, which gradually crossed at a point. It was, oh, four seconds in when I heard the cries of distress from them reaching a dead end. I leisurly walked towards them with a polite smile on my face, and eventually the blackness gave way to the two ponies clutching eachother in terror. It made me wish that I was allowed to wear the silver cloak that my mother had made for me instead of the dreary and apparently terrifying black cloak that was apparently terrifying. Upon catching sight of me, Applejack spoke.

"N-now listen here Mr. T-tall Dark n' Creepy... I would mighty appreciate i-it if ya would lea-leave us alone so there ain't no trouble..."

I couldn't help it. I laughed. My hearty laugh seemed to calm the two ponies down a little, but they were definetly still afraid. I kindly lowered myself to about the hight of the ponies and sloke softly to them. "Now, why would there be any trouble? The trouble is over!"

Dash looked confused. "Soooo... you're not here to hurt us?"

I laughed again before answering. "No no no... I'm not here to hurt you! I'm your guide to the afterlife!" I removed my hood to expose my face, and both of the ponies gasped. "I know, I know, I'm so handsome. Paul Bunyan, right? Or is that the humans who have that story?" I came up from my bow and scratched my beard in thought, only to be interupted by Applejack a few moments later.

"You're no pony! What exactly are you? And who's Paul Bunyan?"

"Yeah," I muttered to myself, "definitely the humans." I looked at the two ponies and stood back up on all four of my hooves and struck a mighty pose. "Grim Reaper, the Centaur of Death, at your service! And, since you asked, Paul Bunyan is a mythical giant human that cut down trees. Nothing you'd have heard before."

Rainbow Dash gave me a horrified look. "But... our friends... Scootaloo... no no No No NO!" All of a sudden, the blue pegasus was right in my face, and I took an involuntary step backwards. "YOU SEND US BACK RIGHT NOW YOU BUCKER! OR SO HELP ME Celestia I WILL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!"

I took another step backwards, but the pegasus stayed right in my face. I had no option but to stop time for a bit to think.

The feisty one wanted to go back. I looked at her closely as she hovered frozzen in midair. She did look a little young to be here. Since I had already filled my soul quota for the day I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some fun. I brought Applejack out of the time stop and she fell over. She was back on her feet in an instant and gawked at her friend for a moment before turning to me. "What in tarnation did you do to Rainbow Dash?"

I chose my words carefully as I replied. "I... froze time so I could think. I have to ask you a question." The orange pony raised her eyebrow so high, it almost fell off her face. I continued. "Would you like to go back?"

"Would I what now?"

"Obviously your friend Rainbow Dash wants to return back. Do you wish this as well, Applejack?"

"Waitaminute... how do y'all know our names? Some sort of death mumbo jumbo?"

"I heard you talking earlier. Now, answers! Do. You. Want. To. Go. Back."

"Well, duhh, of course I want to go back! Long as Dash is coming with me, that is."

"Alright, I can send you both back as far as I can before you died so you can avoid it... but only if you both do something for me."

"Depends on what you want us to do, Grim Reaper." Applejack replied sassily.

"Oh, nothing too bad. Just tell me how you both fell in love with each other." I said, clasping my hands behind my back.

"Run that by me again, if ya will?"

"It's so rare I get a good love story these days... tell me how you and your rainbow-maned special friend fell in love."

"You're kiddin'."

"Nope. Not kidding."

"Ah need to talk ta Dash.."

"No problemo." I snapped my fingers and Rainbow Dash started screaming and hollering at where I had been, only to realize that I was not there. She then turned and started to fly towards me, only to be pulled back by her tail by Applejack.

"Desh," said Applejack through the rainbow tail in her mouth, "Eh neb teh tek teh yeh."

"What was that Applejack? I couldn't hear you over my tail in your mouth." Dash snarked as she turned around to face Applejack.

Applejack, seeing that Rainbow Dash was not going to try and verbally abuse me again, spit the pegasus's tail out of her mouth. "Dash, he's gonna let us go."

"Whaaaat?" Dash exclaimed, looking between Applejack and me. "Why? Lemme guess. We have to do something for you."

"Yes, you do!" I replied excitedly. "Just tell me how you fell in love with Applejack!"

"How I - snrk - fell in love with- ahahahahahahahaha! You're kidding!" Rainbow Dash laughed, doubling over in midair.

Applejack did the eyebrow thing again.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash stopped laughing and wiped tears from her eyes. "Alright alright, that was pretty funny. What do we have to do really?"

I was confused. They were obviously in love, otherwise they would have never showed up together. "I... just told you. Love story in exchange for a second chance at life."

"You're serious?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Look, I'm a nice guy. You do something for me and-"

Rainbow Dash interrupted me. "No, not that."

"Ohhhhhh, so you don't think I can send you baaack-"

"It's not that, either." said Rainbow Dash, giving me an annoyed look.

Applejack butted in. "Grim Reaper, sir, what ah think Dash is trying tuh say is that, uhhh... we're not a couple?" She gave me a sheepish grin.

"Oh, nonsense!" I said, waving my hands as if it could fan their statement away. "How else did both of you end up here, together?"

They both looked confused, but Applejack spoke up first. "You mean ponies don't usually show up together?"

"Practically never, unless they are bonded through the amazing, astouding, magical power known to the whoooole multiverse (mostly), the power that can cause wars and even bring back the dead!"

They were still confused. Geez, I thought I explained it pretty well, but apparently either they're clueless or they didn't hear me. I went with the second option.

"I said, practically never, unless they are bonded through the amazing, astouding, magical power known to the whoooole multiverse (mostly), the power that can cause wars and even bring back the dead! Y'know, the whole unbreakable bond thing?" It seems they didn't. "How about I give you a hint? It starts with the letter Ł. You guess first, Applebutt."

"Uhhh... l... luh.... luh... lllllll.... lllllluhhhhh... llllluuuhhhh-"

"Time's up! Bluebird, your turn!"

"Don't call me that! My name is Rainbow Dash! Not bluebeard or whatever! I don't even have a beard!"

"Llllluh. Luhluhluh." continued Applejack, obliviously.

"Well," I replied, "you're blue, right?"

"...Yes."

"And you have wings, right?"

"Llllick. Llllllike... luck! No no..."

"...Yes, but I don't have a beard."

"I didn't say beard."

"Yeah, you did."

"No no, Bluebeard was a human pirate. Or a pony pirate. Or a zork pirate. It doesn't matter. I called you blue bird, not blue beard."

"Lispy leprosy lunch. No."

"Fine. Whatever."

"So, back to what I was saying earlier, what else is blue and has wings?"

Rainbow Dash concentrated for a second before.blurting out "Bluebeard!"

"No! Humans don't have wings, your Bluebeard was a unicorn, and the zork Bluebeard was a tentacle thing. I think."

"Lllllake. No. Lllluuuuck. Darnit, already said that one!"

"See? You don't know! It is Bluebeard!"

"Do you even know who Bluebeard is, Rainbow Dash?" I asked.

"...Yes?"

"Whatever. What else has wings and is blue?"

"Soarin'?"

"Luh luh lickity lackity luh luh liggity liggity lackity..."

"I don't know a Soarin'," I replied, tuning out Applejack's repeated attempts at guessing."

"Oh."

"L. L. L. L. L."

Rainbow Dash tapped Applejack on her back. "Applejack..."

Applejack waved her off. "Hold on, Rainbow Dash. I got this. Luh luh luh..."

"Applejack your turn is over." said Rainbow Dash.

I tapped Rainbow Dash on her back and she turned to me. "Focus here, Rainbow Dash! What is blue and has wings?"

"I dunno."

"A bluebird!" I said, throwing up my hands.

"Lllluh. I almost got it! I can feel it!"

"That wasn't a very funny joke."

"IT WASN'T A JOKE!" I yelled, my voice thundering. Both ponies froze and stared at me.

"Now." I said, calming myself down by clasping my hands and taking a few deep breaths. "Where were we?"

Author's Notes:

Heyo! Thanks for reading what's done of my story so far! If ya liked it, let me know! If ya didn't, go feed yourself to a hungry honey badger let me know so I can fix it!

Next chapter: so heartwarming, you'll cry!