What Is Hidden Inside

by Elu

First published 13th of September, 2017

When everything is lost and hope is dim, can a person be pulled back to light even if he no longer wants to live?

After a big misunderstanding, Sirius lost everything and believes he must die so that others won't suffer because of him. He had experienced a lot through his life, and he hid those terrible things deep inside. Would his lover and friends help him mend his deep wounds?

It is time to see what made him into what he is. It's time to look inside.

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I'm surprised but this story got featured on 14.09.2017.

The cover art done by JamesA. Check out his stuff if you want.

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Prologue: Dying

Suicide.

Many say that suicide is the way of cowardice. Others say it is the way of bravery and honor. Suicide is believed to be the end to all suffering for some people. However, there isn't a universal conclusion to what it truly is. On the surface, it is just ending one's own life. Methods, causes or reasons don't matter, and the only thing left is a lifeless body.

Throughout centuries, suicide was considered to be a sin in many cultures, an act that must never be carried out or even thought of. Those who committed such an atrocity would be buried outside of tended graveyards, sometimes leaving the graves unnamed and forgotten, not even caring to place a tombstone or a simple wooden plank.

Those that feel they want to die rarely talk to others about it, afraid of shame and discomfort it would likely bring. How many times were people accused of leaving behind their families and friends? How many times are those suicidal people told to suck it up and go on? Either they aren't treated seriously or the other way around to the point of drugging those people and locking them up, forcing them to continue living.

It doesn't help, it will never help. Blame is often put on the victims and rarely anyone is willing to look further and provide necessary help they long for so desperately.

People kill themselves for many reasons. Some do it because they've lost their significant others, be they family or friends. Others do it to save their own honor and the honor of those they care about. In truth, many such acts have nothing in common. All people are unique, each person with their own problems of different meaning and significance even to themselves. Some are willing to commit suicide because of simplest or general things that others would accept and move on.

There are people who are afraid of doing it. Others welcome it as their salvation.

There is a special kind of people, the most rare one. They fought during their whole life, desperate to exist, crawling out of the pits they found themselves in. But later, with no release, no meaning, no goal, losing everything over and over again or just suffering a great loss they can't handle, they realize that the struggle is futile. They give chances to life again and again only to fail just as often if not always. Whether they are to blame or others doesn't matter. Finding truth in mind is impossible, for there is no truth to be found. There are as many thoughts, opinions, experiences as there are people, and what people do best is disagreeing with each-other, often even with themselves.

Even the strongest can fall and lose all their will to continue living. There is no purpose but to survive and procreate, and if you can't build your own goal and try to reach it, you will be disappointed in life. And even if you do try, obstacles are waiting in your path, no matter what you try to make it. They hinder your progress, disrupt the process, mess with you. Sometimes, you trip over too many of them and you are no longer willing to get up. You feel defeated, scared and alone. You feel that the whole world wants you dead, and even you believe that you must die.

At that point, only others can help you. You can only hope that someone won't dismiss your desperate cry of help.

Otherwise, you're as good as dead.

Iclyn and Anastasia were both at the mansion, thinking about Sirius and the recent events that occurred to him and themselves. Neither of them knew what drew him to his second suicide, the one he barely missed. It was a huge relief but a giant worry as well. Princess Luna refused to talk about it and seemingly disappeared, leaving the two in the dark about him. They weren't allowed to see him until everything was complete, and it could be anytime from a few hours to weeks. The two chose not to think of worse options.

It was just a day since the fateful duel but the girls were already feeling terrible. They were hit very hard by it and neither could find rest. The only comfort they could find was in each-other. While Anastasia could hardly speak, she understood words fairly well. They talked about various things, but it was mostly about Sirius.

"He was, uh... like that always." the girl said, stuttering. She wasn't looking at Iclyn, her ears were slightly down, and a small frown was present on her face. "Not social, alone, and, um... Yeah..."

"But he didn't want to die, did he?" Iclyn inclined as she tried to find out the truth about Sirius, things that he didn't talk about even to her.

"...I don't know." Anastasia sighed deeply, her ears drooping completely. "He is, um, was always strong. I, um... not know what, uh, happened to him. We n-not met for... two year."

Two years. Many a thing could have happened during that time. People change, countries change, even planets change. Sixty seconds is a minute, minutes unite to make hours, hours build days, days make up months, and then years are created. Even a second of life is significant, no matter how small it may seem at the beginning. Every single second has something connected to it. A word, an action, something is always present when you look at it closely.

Don't be fooled by second's meager and seemingly meaningless appearance, for a second is the basis for the time as a whole. Even a thousandth part of it matters, and many processes take even less time than that.

Two years are more than enough to change everything, including lives.

An uncomfortable and unnerving silence fell upon the two girls. Neither of them knew what to add or respond with. However, they both could agree on one thing — they needed to visit Sirius.

Maybe he woke up and was waiting for them.

Iclyn and Anastasia travelled to the hospital and were discreetly let in. It was a private hospital on Canterlot Castle grounds, hidden away from prying eyes. It was the very same hospital Sirius had been in after the Changeling Invasion. Seeing it again was very painful to Iclyn. She remembered how long she had to wait until her lover woke up and she didn't want the same thing to happen again.

The guards guided them to Sirius' room. Neither of the two could wait to see in what state he was. Without a word spoken, they understood what they wanted — they wanted him to be alive and well, waiting for them. They would hug him and tell him how much they cared about him, and he would accept it. Then they would help him live and have a better life, solve his issues and put them aside, accepting them as well. It almost sounded impossible but the girls believed they would be able to help him.

They entered the room. It strongly smelled of medicine and ozone, the only window in the room only slightly opened to let some air in. Sirius was lying on the hospital bed, breathing softly, comatose. His chest was wrapped in bandages, but otherwise everything looked fine. His eyes were closed and still as he slept, his chest unmoving as a breathing apparatus controlled his body, artificially pumping in oxygen and extracting carbon dioxide. One of his lungs was pierced through, and it would take time to make it work again.

Iclyn and Anastasia sat on opposite sides of Sirius. The pegasus filly sat to his right, and the girl took his left side. For a few moments, they just looked at him. Tentatively, Iclyn put her hoof against his chest. She feared he would crumble to dust if she put force into her gentle touch.

His heartbeat was faint and yet rhythmic and unceasing. His breath was soft and deep, but not peaceful. Beads of sweat could be seen on his forehead while it was only moderately warm inside the room.

Slowly, Iclyn moved her hoof from his chest to the forehead. As soon as she touched him, she felt cold. His body felt like he was on a brink of dying.

"Ah!" she exclaimed, leaning away from Sirius. She quickly went to search for the doctors, fearing the worst. Soon, she returned with a nurse in tow, pushing her into the room.

"Dear, what is wrong?" the nurse asked, her eyes going from the filly to Sirius and back.

"He is cold!" Iclyn replied loudly, her voice shaking.

The nurse immediately checked the vital signs of Sirius by using a scanning spell on him. She frowned slightly.

"He is alive but... something is very wrong." she concluded. "I will bring in the doctors, they will be of more help than me."

Iclyn nodded, not taking her eyes off of Sirius. The nurse disappeared as she exited the room, and the two girls were left alone. Both of them stared wide-eyed at the former human, not knowing what to do. Was he dying? Just what was happening?

"Sirius..." the pegasus sighed. "Just wake up, please. We're waiting for you."

A week had passed since then. Sirius remained in the hospital bed, his eyes closed and his breath steady. Visits from Iclyn and Anastasia never ceased. They sat at his sides, watching him, waiting for him to wake up. He didn't as much as twitch to acknowledge their presence. He remained still, almost like he died. And yet his heart was beating. It was faint, weak, but it was there and it didn't cease.

The girls could only hope that it would remain that way and become stronger. He had to wake up someday, right?

He was still colder than he should've been. The doctors found no explanation but suspected it could be so because of coma. Ponies very rarely fell in it and so some of the knowledge was forgotten, written down somewhere and hidden away as something useless.

Both Iclyn and Anastasia couldn't concentrate on their studies. It didn't affect their grades much but it definitely brought their attention to the lessons down. They were asked about Sirius and the two agreed to answer that he was seriously ill and couldn't visit school or even go out because of it. It was told that he was hospitalized as well, but his location wasn't revealed.

Thankfully, ponies accepted is as truth. No one else besides Iclyn and Anastasia knew Sirius as close as those two, after all. He remained a mystery to pretty much everyone, including Wave Rider. The colt was just a friend, maybe even less. He was unsure about the whole illness issue but decided to not ask any questions, seeing that the girls had a hard time talking about it as it was.

Wave Rider continued living at Sirius' mansion for a few more days until his father found him an apartment with a nice roommate. Not wanting to infringe on Sirius' hospitality longer than he needed to, the colt packed his belongings and left.

Both Iclyn and Anastasia wished him the best of luck, urging him to come by someday and have fun. They tried to stay positive even in the light of what had recently happened to Sirius.

At nights, Princess Luna observed the dreamscape as she usually did. However, her mind was occupied with one thing. She would often stop by Sirius' door and listen. She could hear pained moans and rustling of chains, which left her terrified. She wanted to enter and see if she could help but decided against it each time, knowing the consequences her actions could bring.

Until it was twelfth day since his suicide attempt, she didn't dare to even try to enter. But she saw that the door to his dreams started to disappear, and it greatly worried her. In fact, it horrified her. Such a thing occurred only on one occasion, and Luna wasn't happy to see it unfolding right before her very eyes. She was afraid she could do nothing but she could at least try.

She walked up to the door. It remained unchanged through time and still stood. A dark and heavy wooden door with strong and thick chains blocking it. The alicorn of night inhaled deeply and then gently nudged it.

Her heart skipped a big as everything became absolutely silent for a moment that lasted less than a second.

The door didn't budge but a loud scream of agonizing pain sounded from behind, muffled by the heavy wood that made up the door. The rustling became way louder, but soon everything turned into quiet cries.

Luna sighed, not knowing what to do. A lone tear rolled down her cheek and disappeared in the dreamscape.

Was it her fault?

Sirius was screaming, the chains that held him in place rattled as his body spasmed and agonized. Blood streamed out of his horrifying wounds, dripping into the black void and painting the iron of the chains red. His throat was hoarse and he coughed and wheezed, tears filling his eyes.

It seemed like months had passed. Was no one coming to save him? Was no one going to help him? He had little hope and even it began to disappear. The rattling stopped as strength and will left him. He let out a quiet and defeated sigh as his eyes closed. He was still alive, alive and suffering. He cried, bloody tears blurring his vision and rolling down his cheeks. No one was going to help him, no one wanted to comfort him.

Who needed him anyway?

Chapter 1: Pain

It is well-known that pain is a signal that goes to the brain if something is wrong with the body. It can be just an itch, a nagging and annoying pain, sharp pain or throbbing, continuous pain. Physical injuries vary in severity and pain from them is different as well.

It is natural to feel pain when one is hurt. It alerts the person, helping them to survive and treat the injuries as soon as possible. But not everything natural is good. Sometimes, suffering can be too great for a person to handle.

It's not only physical suffering because of bodily injuries. Sometimes, it's emotional pain as well. It is the hardest to heal or even find a cause of. It can appear because of abuse, neglect, betrayal or trauma. Any combinations can make such a pain become present. A lot of people hide such a pain very well.

All of us have the ability to withstand both kinds of pain. Some of us easily go through the hardest times without as much as a scratch, others are ready to cry because of a small cut or an insult. There are a few people that just don't care about it or don't feel pain at all. They shove everything aside and continue doing what they're doing.

When the ability to go through suffering depletes, when there are no resources to use to battle pain, the result can be defastating. Years of abuse and neglect can give birth to a serial killer or worse, betrayal can convince people to not trust anyone ever again and eventually commit suicide because of loneliness, and traumas are worst of them all — no one can predict where they will lead the victim. Some manage to move on, of course, but many others either end their own lives or bring down others with them, be it for revenge or because of rage and hatred. It is very difficult to control the pain once it's too big to handle.

But in some cases, people are willing to accept all the pain and suffer it as long as needed. Sometimes, they even take pain that they don't deserve. They fall into a pit of misery, and it's hard for them to climb back up.

Only others can help them if it happens.

More than two weeks had passed since Sirius' duel with Luna. He hadn't come out of coma yet and still lay on the hospital bed. His vital signs were fading, his heartbeat became slower and his breath became deeper and yet shakier as if there wasn't enough air. He became noticeably thinner even while he was fed regularly and in good and healthy amounts. His ribs could already be seen if one were to look closely.

Iclyn was sitting by his side, her usually combed mane a tangled mess. There were noticeable dark circles around her bloodshot eyes, her ears were folded against her head, and her whole posture was slouched as if she couldn't support herself. Even her wings were loose. Tear stains were visible on her cheeks, and her whole body became thinner but not to the same extent as Sirius'.

"Sirius, please..." she whispered to her lover, her eyes watering. "Wake up. Why don't you wake up?"

She repeated the same question every time she came to visit him. She visited him very often, she even missed the school because of it. She could no longer study or even talk, and her friends became very worried about her. During the second part of the second week, she dropped school. Before it happened, she was approached by a familiar pony.

"Iclyn, what's wrong?" one of her friends asked her quietly and nicely.

Iclyn was sitting at a desk, her eyes barely open as she stared at a wall in front of her. She sighed, not knowing what to reply. She hadn't had good sleep for what seemed like eternity, and the studying became increasingly difficult because of it. She didn't want to study either. What use was it if the one she wanted to spend her life with was dying?

"Sirius is that seriously ill?" her friend asked her in a hushed and caring tone.

"...Yes." Iclyn managed to mutter, and then looked down. "It's... something that... might not be cured." a tear dropped on the ground.

"I'm sorry..."

"No, it's alright. Just..." the filly sighed sadly. "I'm... worried."

"I think you need to rest for a bit." her friend placed a hoof on her shoulder. "And remember, we can always talk."

"I know." Iclyn managed to smile slightly. "Thank you."

Since that conversation, she hadn't spoken to anyone besides Sirius, and he couldn't reply. She remembered that she had promised him not to tell anyone about his real self. She kept to her promise. Iclyn became distant from her friends and felt like she was dying as well. She didn't eat, didn't sleep, and didn't exercise. She would either be visiting Sirius or lying on the bed she used to share with him, lost in her thoughts and fears, her dreams plagued by nightmares that Princess Luna couldn't make go away. They returned time and time again, each one more severe than the previous.

She remembered that fateful day of Sirius' last duel. It was a peaceful and calm autumn day, nothing could go wrong. She was at her parents' house, having dinner together. Her family was quite young, and yet a loving one. The three sat at the table, enjoying their food and drink. The sun peeked out of the clouds and shone into the window, illuminating the room with different colors.

"How is your life going, darling?" Iclyn's mother asked her with curiosity.

"Great!" the pegasus filly replied with a beaming smile on her face, her eyes glowing with happiness. "In fact, mom..." a pink tint appeared on her cheeks as her ears folded slightly. "I found a coltfriend."

"Aw, that's so sweet! Our filly's growing up!" the mare turned to her husband. "What do you say, hun?"

"Congratulations, Iclyn." the father told his daughter, a smile on his face. "Such a fine filly as you deserves to be loved. Can you tell us more about your coltfriend?"

"Well, uh... I think you already know him a bit." Iclyn replied slightly nervously. "His name is Sirius."

"The one... the one that fought the changeling queen?" her mother asked, her eyes going wide. After receiving a nod, she continued with happiness in her voice: "My, I can't imagine a better colt than him!"

"I... just want to add that he protected me during the invasion." the filly said, her blush deepening.

"Then he is certainly welcome in our family." the father concluded, making a small nod. "I think you two should come over someday, together. I wouldn't mind getting to know him personally. He seems like a great stallion if he stands up for others even to someone like the changeling queen."

Iclyn wished she had brought him to her family in the first place. The duel, the suicide, the coma, all of it would be avoided. Maybe if she arrived earlier, she would be able to save Sirius, make him take off the amulet before it got to him. Maybe she should've held him close as soon as she pushed him off of Luna. Maybe if she hid the amulet, destroyed it, told the princesses about it, the duel would've been avoided.

There were so many possibilities for everything to end well. And yet, it had taken the worst route there could be.

She sighed deeply and sadly. There was no way of fixing things. The past was the past, and she had no idea how to go back to it and right the wrongs. It might not help at all, too.

What must she do in order to ensure a better future for Sirius and herself? Was there a way to help him?

Suddenly, the door to the hospital room opened and the princess of the night entered it. Iclyn looked at her with wide eyes, her ears perking slightly. She had a nagging question she wanted to ask Luna for a long time, and finally seeing her after two weeks of silence made her act.

"Your majesty..." she stood up from Sirius' bed, not giving any time for Luna to speak first. "Why did Sirius attack you? I must know it." she looked in princess' eyes directly, her gaze serious and unmoving.

"...Very well." the alicorn said after a moment of consideration. "I believe he holds a deep grudge against me. When we first met, he was wary of me. In fact, he was ready to fight me. I could see that he was very troubled inside. To see what it was, I tried to enter his dreams."

Silence fell on the two ponies. Luna was looking everywhere but not at Iclyn. The filly was glaring at the princess, a big frown forming on her face as she took in the information.

"You..." Iclyn exhaled shakily, and then inhaled sharply. "You are a fucking idiot!" she yelled, startling the princess. Not giving Luna a chance to respond, she continued: "What the fuck? How could it be a bright idea to enter his mind? You met him and immediately wanted to know everything? Do you even know what shit he's been through? I barely managed to convince him to give me trust, and you? You just fucking mind-raped him!" she inhaled deeply, filling her lungs to continue her tirade. "I bet my wings he had told you that he didn't need your help. And what the fuck do you do? Try to forcefully give it to him! This is... Argh!"

She paused for a few seconds, breathing heavily. She needed to let it out or she wouldn't forgive herself.

"I fucking love Sirius, and to learn that he almost fucking killed himself was... Can you even imagine it? Did you even love, princess?" she paused again, feeling she went too far. Nevertheless, she said: "I know you want to help ponies, but fucking hell do you do it wrong!"

"Please, Iclyn, calm down." the princess said, trying to resolve the situation.

"Calm down?!" Iclyn took a daring and challenging step towards Luna, her eyes continuing glaring at her even more intensely than before. "Sirius put a fucking sword through his chest! He almost fucking died, and it all happened because of your stupid actions! These... trust issues he has, they are there because of you! No wonder he didn't tell me about it... Fuck!" she huffed, releasing her anger. "Until you find a way to help him, fuck off! Or I will bring to a just end what he tried to do." Iclyn finished with a threat. She knew that the princess could just put her in prison or execute her but those words needed to be said, no matter what their consequences would ne.

Luna paused in her thoughts. Was their love that strong? Would the filly indeed do it? It was both terrifying and beautiful at the same time. If Iclyn was ready to do even the unthinkable in order to help Sirius, then the love she had for him was indeed great and probably unbreakable.

A love between an alien and a pony, who would've thought it would be one of the strongest connections Luna had ever seen?

She also realized one very important thing. Iclyn would agree to anything to help Sirius.

"Actually, I came here to say that I have an idea of how we can help Sirius." Luna pointed out.

"Why didn't you say it from the beginning, huh? I'm just waiting for him to wake up for weeks! He saved my life, and I am ready to do anything to save his!" Iclyn continued to yell, and then coughed because of it. She didn't take her eyes off of Luna, however.

"I believe that he can be saved but a journey will be unlike any ot—"

"Get to the damn point!" the filly cut her off, panting heavily after shouting so much.

"You need to go inside his mind." the alicorn of night said simply, deciding not to provoke Iclyn further.

Another silence fell. Iclyn's face softened, her body relaxed, anger in her eyes mostly gone. She returned to Sirius' bed and sat on it, gently placing a hoof on his head. A few moments later, she turned to Luna.

"But there is a complication..." Luna added. "If you go there, you might not wake up unless he does."

"I don't care. If I have a chance of helping him, I'll take it." the filly replied, her voice calm, her thoughts collected.

"It can take anywhere from a day to a few years." the alicorn warned her yet again. "We also need a permission from your parents."

"They care about me, they will allow it. But we can't waste time on it!" Iclyn argued. "I can't just waste it when Sirius is fucking dying! Let's do it right now. I won't be held responsible for what I'll do to you if you keep dragging it."

Chapter 2: Dark Mind

An intelligent mind is an intricate and mysterious mechanism of survival. Humans, for example, don't have any natural tools of survival like claws or fangs to attack or thick skin or speed to protect themselves from danger. Most animals can easily kill humans due to having superior physical capabilities.

That is why humans had to develop their brains. Otherwise, they would go extinct. Thousands of years later, they built complicated machines that helped them survive even better, making them the lone rulers of the Earth, their homeland.

However, nothing comes without a price. The overdevelopment of mind allowed the conflicts, be they small or big, reasonable or meaningless to spur. Needless violence, hatred, wars, all of them are human inventions. Such inventions have many consequences, including possibilities of psychological disorders, something that is rarely seen in the animal world. Categorization of illnesses, their causes and solutions, all of them were developed by humans. However, one must remember that nature takes a large part in their lives, introducing genetic problems that weed out those unfit for survival. Humans are social, and therefore they need each-other to survive. Such a need opens up a lot of possibilities.

Less intelligent animals don't have to worry about the meaning of life or purpose in the world. Unlike humans, they don't care about success or possessions of luxury. They don't think about being recognized or loved, they live by their instincts which are quite simple in comparison to human minds.

Humans disagree with each-other, wage wars, and do many nasty things just for pleasure, and it's something very rarely seen among other animals. A lot of humans no longer have to survive, they have everything they would ever need to be healthy and create as many just as healthy offsprings as they want.

All humans are different and unique in mind, each having their own experience. No one really knows how their minds work or why they are so intelligent.

Trying to look inside those minds could be problematic and even dangerous.

Sirius was suspended by the chains in the black void. He didn't move, his eyes weren't even open. He breathed lightly and yet shakily, his eyes darting around under the lids. He knew that there would be no difference whether he kept them open or closed.

He could still feel something and even hear very distant voices. All of it was very far back in his mind as all his consciousness was filled with nothing but pain. He had lost everything he valued and even then there was no release.

Was it his personal hell or was he still alive? He thought he couldn't live — he rammed a longsword through his chest. Unless it didn't go through his heart, he would be dead. Did he miss? Did something else happen? Was he immortal?

He knew that the power of the amulet was gone, it wasn't keeping him alive. In his last moments of life, he released it in hope of achieving a quick death. He was sure that the amulet would revive him otherwise.

But what if the curse was true? What if it did something to him? What if he was simply trapped inside the amulet and paying the price for using it?

There were so many questions and yet none could be answered. All Sirius was able to see was a black void. Cold, harsh, silencing and deafening. There was nothing else to it.

He thought that death would be a release for him. A void of warmth and comfort would wrap around him, guiding him to a peaceful eternal sleep. It was his only hope when he committed his first suicide. His wish, his deepest desire. He found his hopes crushed and yet his life took a sudden and unexpected turn for what looked like the better. But in the end, he returned to his hope only to find it thrown aside and abused.

Maybe all of it was just his agonizing brain imagining things as it died? Once he finally died, he was sent to hell. It made some sense to him but he feared it wasn't the case. Maybe it was a punishment for wasting his second chance? It probably was, at least he thought so.

There was a slim chance that he was still alive. If so, why was no one coming to save him? Did anyone truly care about him? He seriously doubted it, finding it hard to believe that anyone needed him. He was a depressing wreck, a broken soul, hateful and aggressive. Why would anyone go to any length to help him?

His relationship with Iclyn was fake. It could never be true. He was an alien, she was a pretty average pegasus filly. There was no way she would ever fall in love with him. He saved her life once but it didn't matter to him. He had never thought that Iclyn would ever love him even for that.

In truth, he had been loving her ever since he confessed about his origins. Was it also a fake love? He wasn't sure about it.

He was no longer sure about anything.

"Why?" he whispered to himself. "Why do I deserve so much hate? I didn't choose to be like this! I didn't choose to be born this way!" he sighed deeply. He knew no one would hear him saying it. "Please, I just want something... nice and good! Is it too much to ask for after all of this?"

The void was silent to his begging. His words were swallowed wholly and nothing remained.

Sirius hung his head. There was no use in crying if no one was going to hear it.

He just wanted to die.

Suddenly, he heard steps coming his way. His ears perked up, his eyes opened and looked into the black abyss. He concentrated on what he was feeling. The first thing that came was the pain: throbbing and acute pain through his whole body. He hissed, suppressing it. Then, he listened closely.

Was someone coming to save him or at least put him out of his misery?

The steps sounded like a barefooted bipedal being was walking on cold, hard stone. The steps were slow and rhythmical, resonating around the void, deafening Sirius. Aside from his rapidly beating heart, those steps were very loud.

"Finally, you understand." a gravely cold voice spoke. It was like Sirius' in many ways and yet it was completely different. "It's time you see the truth."

The too familiar silhouette appeared out of the black. It was the Figure.

"You always knew it would come to this." it spoke, stopping a few meters away from suspended Sirius. Its sunken eyes were glaring at him as a triumphant grin was plastered across its face. "You knew it all along. Wasn't it why you died? No one cared about you. Your parents died, you lost your friends and turned away from the last one. Your love was fake, too. Can you see it now? All of them want you to suffer."

Sirius didn't answer. He couldn't disagree with the figure despite how much he hated it.

"And failing to kill yourself... This is embarrassing." the figure laughed. "You missed your own heart. You can't even end your life properly!"

Sirius looked down, trying to evade the Figure's hateful gaze.

"You are a bother for others, a load. Imagine if Iclyn gives birth to a child from you." the Figure pointed at him. "You doomed your offspring to live a painful and miserable life. To know that their father committed or tried to commit suicide twice... Not to mention that your foal might inherit your issues. Or even more... Schizophrenia, delusions, psychosis, various personality disorders...

"What if Iclyn gives birth to a foal? Would they become like you — rapist and murderer? You are filth of these two worlds. Your mother should've aborted you or drowned you while you were still young.

"This new world... It is tainted by you now. More humans might come in and destroy it. And it is all your fault. All your blame."

The Figure turned around and walked away, leaving Sirius sobbing as he realized something.

He must die.

Anastasia was studying at the school library to get her mind off of Sirius. As much as he was a friend to her, she had her own life and problems and she needed to solve them. She needed to study the language, and with Sirius' attempted suicide her return to Earth would be significantly delayed.

And yet, her mind kept returning to her old friend. He was always troubled but she would never think he would commit suicide even once. He used to be cheerful around her. She knew it was because of his love but she was certain he was having fun with his other friends, too. Surely he couldn't be alone.

She remembered how lonely he was at the school. His classmates were wary of him and he never approached any of them. Anastasia remembered when she first tried talking to him.

"Hey, Stas?" she called for him during the break. The two were sitting at their shared desk. Her future friend was staring at the blackboard, his notebook almost empty and was filled with red notes from the teacher. However, Stanislav didn't care much about it.

"...What?" he asked in a neutral tone, half-turning to her. Anastasia could see the corner of his facial scar — it was slightly pink.

"How's it going?" the girl asked casually.

She remembered Stanislav's dark-green eyes widening slightly as he looked directly at her, trying to hide his surprise but failing.

"...Fine, I guess." he replied after a few moments of thinking and calming down. "What do you want?"

It was time for Anastasia to be surprised. What Stanislav had said wasn't rude but it definitely seemed like that. She decided not to take it seriously and instead approach him in a friendly manner.

"Um, would you mind helping me with an assignment, please?" she asked him nicely.

Stanislav gazed at her for a few moments, thinking. His eyes shifted to her notebook and then returned back to her.

"I wouldn't." he finally responded. "Now, what do you need help with?"

It was the first step towards their friendship and eventually his love. Over the course of two years, they were together, they formed a great bond. From one side, it was friendship. From another, it was love. Unfortunately, in the end, such a bond didn't work out very well and the two separated.

Anastasia was yet to find out what happened to him since.

Princess Luna and Iclyn stood in the hospital room, waiting for something. The alicorn was sitting, her posture relaxed as she drank a glass of apple juice. The pegasus filly was pacing around the room, her eyes darting from one place to another, and very often glanced at Sirius. She was unable to find a place for herself as she impatiently waited.

Iclyn knew she had to do what needed to be done to save Sirius. However, she didn't know what waited ahead. What things could be hidden in his broken mind? Was there a real Sirius inside or was his true personality dead, leaving only sadness and anger? Would he recognize her and if so, did he still care for her? The filly hoped she would be able to pull him out of his broken state and put him back together. He still loved her, right? If so, Iclyn would be able to help him. But if he forsook everything...

She decided not to think about it.

Luna opened her mouth to say something but ultimately decided against it, opting to remain silent. She didn't need to bother Iclyn and she knew she was very annoyed and angry at her. All the princess could do was try to right her wrongs. She realized that entering Sirius' mind when she first met him was a very bad move, one that almost cost her her own life and also his.

Finally, the door to the room opened and another hospital bed was rolled in. It was placed near Sirius' one, and then Luna and Iclyn were left alone.

The pegasus filly walked up to the new bed and lay on top of it.

"I can do this." she encouraged herself. "Princess... Do what must be done."

"Are you certain about it?" Luna asked for final confirmation.

"Yes." Iclyn replied simply and then closed her eyes. She breathed deeply, her wings twitching slightly in her nervousness."

"Good luck, then." the alicorn nodded and lit her horn. Her magic encompassed Iclyn's head, and soon everything faded to a nice shade of blue.

The filly found herself amidst the stars. Cosmic dust flew around her, glistening in the light of many stars and their constellations. Away from her, nebulas were created, filling the beautiful universe with even more light.

Iclyn blinked and looked around. There were many doors lined up in front of her, and one of them was particularly interesting. It was much taller than others and it was wrapped in chains.

"What you see around yourself is the Dreamscape." the voice of Luna spoke from everywhere. "From here, I can enter most dreams and be able to change them. The door you see before yourself leads to the mind of Sirius, and I wasn't able to open it. It is highly possible that you are able to do it. But once you're inside, beware of monsters.

"Monsters are created by troubled minds and can invoke negative feelings in you. You must be extremely careful, too. There is a possibility that whatever injury you might endure in Sirius' mind would be transferred to the real life. If you die there, you will die here."

Iclyn's eyes widened. She had never suspected such a thing. However, there was no going back. She didn't need to and didn't want to go back. She must go through with Luna's plan or else Sirius would die.

"I will try to aid you but I have no idea if it's possible." the alicorn said. "Now, go on."

The pegasus filly nodded and then walked up to the menacingly-looking door. She raised her hoof but hesitated for a few moments, leaving it centimeters away from the wooden surface of the door.

Finally, she pushed the door. For a few moments, it didn't as much as budge. However, she managed to open it, albeit slightly. She immediately slipped in, not wasting her chance.

The door closed behind her, the chains locking it up once again.

Author's Notes:

Do any of you have any theories? I'd love to hear them if you do.

Chapter 3: Entryway

Madness is a state of mind when a person can no longer think clearly or reasonably. Their logic is twisted, their reasons found within their own depths of mind. They think they're right, they believe they're right, and they know they're right. They lose touch with reality and yet they think all is real around them. They see things no one else sees, they hear what isn't there, and they feel something they can't.

Sometimes, they unknowingly create their own realities. Their own thoughts are combined, twisted, pressed, mashed together to create something that can't be logically explained.

The common portray of people with psychological issues is this — a person in a straightjacket locked inside a soft-walled room, bubbling nonsense to themselves as saliva uncontrollably streams from their mouth. They can also be portrayed as murderous psychopaths without sympathy or any human feelings.

Neither is almost ever the case. You can have a friend and not even suspect them of being insane. That one person you see everyday? He could be insane, lost in his own reality. How can it be so?

Only just a few people are too insane to be in public. Others hide their issues very well since logic and reason still remains, albeit it can be limited or almost paranoidal. They know that if they let others know of their insanity, they will be locked up in a mental hospital and probably never leave it in their lifetime. Years upon years spent in a prison-like facility would only deepen their issues as a lot of them can't be cured with simple medicine. While it is true that mental issues can be genetic or start from birth, they can also appear in a person who experienced things his mind couldn't handle well enough.

Once their last link to the real world is gone, they fall into the depths of their own minds, and getting out of there can be difficult. They are locked up in their fears, anxieties, wishes and desires, all of them put into a single pile of thoughts and mixed together.

How one can get out of such a situation?

The answer is — one can't. They would be too deep to pull themselves up. They are deluded and made themselves believe they don't need to be rescued from themselves.

That is why they need outside help. Without it, they're as good as dead.

Or maybe even worse.

Iclyn found herself in a plain gray corridor. She cautiously looked around but saw nothing but stone. The door was closed behind her and became almost invisible as it was as gray as the walls, ceiling, and floor. Ahead darkness lay, veiling the rest of the corridor in it. It was like a curtain, flowing in the wind but without it. Something Iclyn wanted to know was behind it, something pulled her to it. And at the same time, she feared.

The pegasus breathed in deeply, her legs shaking slightly. It was it, she was inside Sirius' mind. There was no going back. And even if there was, she wouldn't retreat. She chose it and she had to go through all of it. She must do it for the one she loved. She inhaled, waited a few moments, and exhaled, calming herself down. She must focus.

Iclyn knew that Sirius needed her help. No one else would be able to do it but her, and she wasn't about to leave even if it was easier to do so than stay and travel the difficult way.

Two eyes were glaring at her from the darkness but she hadn't noticed them yet. After a few seconds, the eyes disappeared, muffled footsteps suddenly soundings but growing quieter as seconds passed until they disappeared completely.

"Sirius?" Iclyn called warily, squinting her eyes, trying to look into the darkness. She raised her hoof, tilting her body forward. However, she didn't make a single step. "Can you hear me?"

Nothing answered her. Deathly silence continued to reign, the grayness lying undisturbed. With a great sigh, the pegasus went forward. No matter how much she feared, no matter how much anxiety she had, she knew she had to go forward. She subdued her shaking body and aimed her eyes forward, a frown of determination appearing on her face. With her steps strong, she went.

Iclyn noticed that no sounds were produced by her hooves as she walked. She could feel the stone underneath her, she could see it, but everything was silent. She wasn't even sure if she could hear her own heartbeat or breath.

She didn't know why it was happening but she had to move forward. There was no going back. She forced her mind to think about that, and so she went.

Sirius was in the same position as before — suspended by the chains in the middle of nothing. He felt a tingle of something he could almost recognize, a fleeting thing he couldn't understand. It was like a spark of light in the corner of his vision. A whisper in the back of his head. A soft touch of something small against his skin. A scent he couldn't catch even with the deepest breath.

He lifted his head up slightly and opened his eyes. He couldn't open them all the way, barely managing to bring the eyelids half up.

He knew he felt something. What was it? What could it be?

"Luna is trying to enter your mind." a gravely voice came from the darkness.

Sirius couldn't believe his ears at first but realized it was what Luna was trying to do from the beginning. So, it was true? Was she trying to bring him under control? His eyes darted around, his breath shaky and his heart beating rapidly, sending jolts of pain through his whole body.

He mustn't trust the Figure, however. How could he know it spoke truth? It wanted him dead, after all. It wanted him to suffer. Also, what he felt wasn't painful. It was something that... brought hope. It couldn't be Luna, he concluded. However, he wasn't completely sure.

"You wish for death." the Figure spoke softly, the condescending glare in its eyes suppressed for a moment. "You want your life to end, do you not? After so many things that had happened to you, death will be your only salvation."

Sirius was silent. He knew the Figure was right. Nothing remained, nothing to cling to, nothing to hold on to. Why live if there was no reason to? There was no goal, no destination, nothing to at least keep him busy. There was nothing for him.

He was present. He existed. He was there.

And yet, he didn't live.

"I can deal with Luna for you." the Figure suggested, a smirk appearing on its face, but soon was replaced by a frown. "Otherwise... She will prod your defenses, test out the weaknesses, and then rape you into submission. You will become her toy, her plaything. Once she gets you, you will be castrated and mutilated in both mind and body. We both know it will be beyond excruciating.

"Do you know your biggest fault?" the Figure paused for a moment. "You didn't bring the revolver." the silvery gun appeared in its left hand. The Figure flicked it open and looked at the cylinder full of cartridges. The creature gently stroked the revolver as it continued to speak: "Powerful, sudden, mysterious, precise... Winning cards were in your hands all along." it closed the revolver, a satisfying click sounding. "You wanted the fight to be close and personal, you say? Well, you failed so miserably!" it aimed the revolver and took a shot at Sirius. The bullet went into his side, breaking his ribs and getting stuck in them.

The former human gasped in surprise, and then the acute pain rushed in, making him scream as pieces of bone tore his flesh. Sirius shouted, convulsing, spasming as the pain pulsed. After he ran out of breath, he whimpered, more of his blood oozing from his wounds and rolling down the chains.

"You're the eighth wonder of the Earth — how did you not kill yourself with a simple kitchen knife even before such an idea crossed your mind?" the Figure taunted. "Knowing your costly stupidity, you would open up your veins instead of a can you were supposed to!"

It glared at Sirius, but soon turned away. Without any other word, it returned into the surrounding darkness, leaving the former human alone. Dark thoughts wrapped him completely as tears rolled down his cheeks, his mouth opening and closing as he rapidly and shakily inhaled and exhaled, his whole body trembling like a leaf on a wind.

"You will not die." the voice of the Figure sounded. "A forced existence is your future. That is the price for failing to do what was needed to be done. You will have to bear it for the rest of your pitiful existence."

Sirius could do nothing but wait for Luna to catch him and twist everything that he was and turn him into a lifeless, hollow, obedient husk.

A pitiful existence indeed.

At the end of the corridor, a table stood. Iclyn inspected it but found nothing else but a chair. It was lying on its side on the floor, its seat cracked slightly. A few dried up drops of red color were present on the table, as well as a few brass cylinders the filly didn't know anything about.

Right behind the table, a door was placed. It was a simple door made of dark wood. No locks, no handle, no decorations. Iclyn walked up to it and inspected it. Seeing no other way, she pushed the door.

She blinked and appeared in the middle of a forest. The door was nowhere to be seen when she turned around.

It was early autumn. Just a few leaves had turned into their autumn colors, the weather was comfortably warm as if a light blanket was put over one's body. The sun was shining through the foliage, its rays casting soft shadows on the grassy ground. The shadows hid the forest in a pleasant shade, one that dimmed the light but didn't cancel it out completely.

Iclyn couldn't understand it. Why was she in a forest? She was in Sirius' mind, and seeing it being that calm was unusual, to say the least.

Maybe he was resting in peace? Maybe his attempted suicide let him finally be free and enjoy it?

The pegasus couldn't really believe it. It looked right but something was way off. But what?

Iclyn looked down and inspected the ground. It looked normal albeit slightly blurry. The finest details couldn't be seen and everything seemed misplaced in a way that the pegasus couldn't explain. Maybe the plants were different, maybe some even smaller details didn't make sense. Subconsciously, she new something was wrong.

Nevertheless, she must find Sirius. It was his mind, he must be somewhere around. Maybe he was waiting for her to come to him and tell him something that would make him return and solve the problems.

At least Iclyn could hope there was something for him to consider.

Luna was observing Iclyn and Sirius. Both of them were in hospital beds, both supported by magic. The filly was in an artificial coma, her breath was deep and calm. Sirius on the other hand was sweating, his heartbeat increased, and his breath was trembling. His eyes were turning under the lids, his nostrils flaring.

The princess sighed deeply, feeling the tiredness. She was still healing after the duel. It left her damaged not only in body but in mind, too. She had witnessed brutal rage unleashed on her, pure hatred and no restraint. Sirius was ready to kill her and he almost did. Even if there were no amulet, he would still hurt her. Maybe not as severely but he would, his desire to hurt was amplified by the amulet. It couldn't create what wasn't there before, and it made Luna feel anxious about her next talk with him. He might not even want to see her anymore.

She stood and then turned to leave. She couldn't see inside Sirius' mind even through Iclyn. There was nothing else she could do to help.

However, she had to speak to Iclyn's parents about everything. She sighed again, this time wearily. Explaining everything to them might take a lot of her time.

It was going to be a long day for the princess of the night.

Chapter 4: Stas

Anastasia was at the mansion, a letter lying in front of her as she looked at it in disbelief. Her eyes were wide, her mouth opened slightly, her ears down.

"Sirius c-can be saved?" she muttered as the words of the letter bounced inside her head, hitting against the walls of her mind and returning to her again. She hoped that Sirius would wake up but she never expected magic to come into play. Going into his mind? It sounded completely impossible and not to mention insane. Why would it be needed? He would wake up on his own sooner or later, right?

The girl didn't know what to do. The mansion was completely empty, all of its residents gone. Sirius was on the edge between life and death, Iclyn was trying to save him. But what could Anastasia do? Her studies were going alright, ponies were approaching her from time to time and she talked to them. Even far away from home, her life was getting better.

She stood up and began pacing around the room, trying to think of something. What must she do, what should she do? If only she knew the answer to that question.

Without Sirius, she was almost completely helpless in the new world. Princess Luna and Iclyn were of great help to her but both were busy and unavailable at the moment. Those few friends she had made couldn't help her because of the nature of the situation.

In truth, Anastasia could do absolutely nothing but hope that all would be resolved soon.

Iclyn was walking through the forest, her steps light and yet cautious. She was in Sirius' mind and she knew she had to be wary of her surroundings. She didn't know how minds work but she suspected things could change at any moment, be it for the better or the worse.

Suddenly, she heard a joyful and happy laughter, and it was something she didn't expect to hear in Sirius' mind considering in which state he was at the moment. Iclyn's ears perked up and swiveled in the direction of the noise. She changed her course and headed to the source of the sounds. She hoped to understand what was happening and maybe the answers would come to her soon.

Soon, she came to a small lake. A group of four children was running around the shore, giggling as they played tag. Iclyn hid behind a bush and observed, trying to determine whom was Sirius. She already knew it was his original form — a bipedal ape-like creature. However, the children wore clothes. The weather seemed alright, and the pegasus couldn't figure out why would they wear anything. She squinted her eyes and saw that they didn't seem to have any fur. She assumed they needed clothes because of that exact reason.

She looked over all of the kids. None of them caught her eye, however. Aside from clothes, they looked almost the same to Iclyn. She couldn't see the defining traits of Sirius to figure out who was him.

She decided to move closer. Silently, she flew up and went above the treetops, landing on one of them right above the kids. She would use a cloud but she couldn't see one in close vicinity. She just hoped that her coloration wouldn't give her position away. She didn't want to be seen until she deemed it safe to do so. She had to be cautious in Sirius' mind, no one knew what resided there. While she was sure he wouldn't purposefully hurt her, she decided to be careful nevertheless.

Iclyn observed the scenery. She couldn't define which human was which, they all looked the same to her: same white skin, almost the same height, and three out of four had dark hair. Even the clothes they wore were similar, and their colors mixed and became a blur. They had different clothes but their form and coloration subtly changed every time Iclyn looked at the humans.

Soon, they stopped running and settled down on the grass, panting from running.

"How was it, Stas?" one of them turned to another one. The pegasus assumed they were a she — the voice was quite feminine. The voice was young, too. Iclyn already understood all four were kids but confirmation settled it.

"It, um..." the second one replied, and Iclyn had a tingle that told her that the voice was very slightly familiar. "It was fun." a small smile appeared on his face. He reached into his pocket and tried to find something. "Oh wait... I think I've lost my phone." he admitted, standing up.

"I'll just call you." the girl said, pulling out her own phone. Soon, a ringing sound appeared to the side, and Stanislav quickly found his phone.

"Thanks, Elle." he said as he put the phone back in his pocket.

Iclyn found the exchange quite strange. Why was it happening? Did it have a significant meaning for Sirius. And most importantly, where was he? He must've been either of two boys that were yet unnamed.

She continued to observe the group for quite some time, and she almost fell asleep while doing so. However, everything changed when she heard shouting. Her ears perked up as she focused her eyes on the group.

"But that's not good!" Stanislav shouted in response to something.

"Stas, please calm down!" one of his friends said. "We're not against you. We can figure something out."

"...I guess." Stas sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry, guys." he looked down, and then turned around.

"Stas..." Helen walked to him.

"Leave me alone for a bit, okay?" Stas replied with a hint of anger in his voice, sitting down on the ground.

Anger and almost immediate regret. Iclyn's eyes widened — Stas must be Sirius! But if so, why did he change his name? His original name wasn't bad. However, he still decided to change it for reasons the pegasus didn't know.

The boy was left completely alone, his friends disappearing in the forest. He was sitting near the lake, his arms around his legs as he hid his face behind his knees. He breathed calmly and there were no tears, however.

The lake became red, black words appearing on it. Iclyn looked at them and her eyes widened. The words told her of how Stanislav felt. He thought that he wasn't a good friend, he didn't deserve one, and all he did was getting angry for no reason. All of it confirmed one of the suspicions Iclyn had — Sirius was indeed a troubled person from the very beginning.

"Why am I like this?" he asked himself, his voice echoing and carried by the wind. "They are my friends... You don't get angry at friends, right?"

The water of the lake started bubbling, words mixing together, making the surface of the lake looks blotched and unnatural. The plants around it became red in color, strange flowers blooming on them, creeping closer to Stanislav with every moment. Two small purple spots appeared in the center of the lake, eerily familiar for Iclyn.

She decided to do something before it was too late. Something terribly wrong was happening and she needed to stop it.

"Hello?" she called out, flying down.

Stanislav turned around and saw her. His eyes widened in surprise, and Iclyn suspected he recognized her.

"W-what?" he managed to say. "Who are you?" he stood up and backed off. The pegasus was unsure what it meant — surely Sirius would've recognized her. Stanislav was Sirius, after all.

"I won't hurt you." Iclyn assured him, stopping in her tracks not to scare him.

"...Okay." the boy said slowly, his posture relaxing slightly but his eyes still on her. "But who are you? You guard this forest?"

"No, I'm just a pegasus." she explained to him. She paused for a few seconds before she figured out what to say next. She must be careful not to make something wrong. For all she knew, the situation could go anywhere. "I'm searching for someone."

"Oh..." Stanislav looked down. "So... you're not here for, um, me?"

"It's not like that." Iclyn shook her head slightly. "I need your help... Stas, right?"

"Y-yeah..." the boy replied, scratching the back of his head, his dark-green eyes looking in the general direction of the pegasus. "I guess, um... I guess my parents can help you more." he paused. "Is that alright?"

"I think so." the pegasus nodded. "Oh, and sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Iclyn." she smiled at him.

"That's a nice name." Stas smiled back. "Um, my full name is Stanislav Zima. You can just call me Stas. So, um, let's go?"

The wind was blowing, tearing the leaves from the trees. The sky was covered by dark clouds, and a light drizzle falling down upon the trees and the ground below them. It wasn't enough to be uncomfortable but it was making Iclyn shiver, vapor escaping her mouth.

She walked alongside the younger version of Sirius, trying to figure out what to do next. She couldn't understand why he didn't recognize her even though it was is mind she was in. Logically, he would almost immediately understand who she was. However, it wasn't the case. But why? What did it all mean?

"I don't know if you're real." Stanislav said, disrupting Iclyn's thoughts.

"...Why do you think so?" she asked him after a few moments of silence.

"Um, well..." he paused in his step for a moment. After a second of thinking, he said: "You're a talking flying horse."

"No, I'm a pony." Iclyn corrected him.

"Equine, whatever." Stas replied. "Pegasi are myths. You're also talking and just... strange-looking, I guess."

"Makes sense." the pegasus nodded. Sirius used to live in a different world and it wasn't impossible for it to not have pegasi. It would be like having talking animals. They could communicate with some ponies but they weren't sapient.

She didn't know what to think of young Stanislav yet. He was like any other kid and he also was very similar to foals in terms of behavior. He was a bit shy and cautious but Iclyn expected it. However, the look in his eyes and the way he spoke made him seem mature. There was no childish innocence or naïveté in his eyes either. Under his slightly baggy clothes, Iclyn could see a skinny body, and it was almost unhealthy in the way he looked. Even cheekbones could be seen which shouldn't usually be showing at his age. However, he lacked dark circles around his eyes that his older version almost constantly had.

Iclyn looked around. Everything looked normal, at least for the other world. Everything looked natural and consistent like it was supposed to be so. She almost forgot that all of it was taking place in Sirius' mind.

What she failed to notice was a silhouette that followed her. It was outside of her vision, moving silently through the forest, its eyes focused entirely on her as it ignored everything else in its path. Stanislav sometimes looked around and could see the silhouette. However, his mouth was forcefully kept shut and he had to look forward.

Soon, the pegasus and the boy exited the forest. A single house was visible in front of them. It was a two-storeyed house with a garage nearby, a well-maintained road leading from it to more houses and a small town. A proper look was maintaned, and the house had a fairly fresh paint-job. Everything looked neat and tidy.

"Um, this is where I live." Stanislav said, stopping. "I'll, uh, go tell my parents... I just explain, um, you to them. A-alright?"

"Don't worry, I'll wait." Iclyn nodded, stopping as well.

"I'll be back soon." the boy said and ran off to the house.

The pegasus sighed, looking at Stanislav. Just what was happening in his mind? How could something like this appear? Was his mind divided into parts and ot was just one of many? Iclyn was sure Princess Luna would be able to explain everything to her but all was silent and she was all by herself. She had no idea what to do or where to go but thought that Stanislav's parents would help her.

She couldn't waste time, she must figure out how to move forward.

Author's Notes:

Do you have any guesses or theories? I'd very much like to see them since you readers can find out the truth before it's clear. I'm very interested in seeing that.

Chapter 5: Family

Sirius was writhing in pain, trying to get out of his chains. His eyes were wide and filled with tears, his mouth was open in a wordless scream. He struggled and struggled, but all was futile. He did not give up and continued to squirm, trying to break out, destroy the bounds holding him in place.

But one cannot break out of themselves.

"Do you see now?" a ghastly voice spoke to him. "Luna uses her to get to you. You knew it would happen."

An image of Iclyn sitting on the grass was right in front of the former human, taunting him. The pegasus was completely oblivious to his presence, making it even more excruciating. He wanted to reach her but he couldn't no matter how hard he struggled. He wanted her to go away and never return. His mind was no place for her.

"She still hopes to control you." the Figure said, clinching and unclenching its pale fists. "I have my limitations, but it wouldn't be an issue to kill Iclyn before other... things get to her."

"No!" Sirius replied quickly. "D-don't hurt her!"

"You still believe she's innocent?" the nightmarish being asked in a menacing tone. "If she were on your side, she would have never agreed to going inside your mind. She knows how sensitive you are about your past memories and experiences. At least... You thought she knew." it paused, letting Sirius understand and comprehend the words. "She follows Luna's orders now. She's a pegasus, and pegasi can't get inside others' minds without outside help. I thought it was clear to you.

"And if I don't kill her, she will find out everything." the Figure paused again, letting the words sink in. "If she survives your mind and the creatures it spawned, of course. And once she sees who you truly are... A quick death would be too much to ask. You will be killed agonizingly slowly, your limbs will be torn out, your eyes gouged out... Should I continue or do you understand, do you see the picture of your possible future?"

Sirius nodded in defeat.

"Good." the Figure nodded in return. "You will suffer and everyone will be glad when you're dead and gone. No, they will be relieved and even happy." it inhaled deeply. "You shouldn't have appeared here."

"As if it was my choice." the former human said quietly as he looked down.

"You always wanted a better life." the Figure replied. "Don't you deny it, don't lie to me. I know everything you know." it took a step closer to Sirius. "More than you realize, in fact."

"What do you know?" Sirius asked, dreading the answer. He knew he wouldn't like it no matter what it would be.

"I know how broken you are, how many pieces of you exist." the nightmarish being replied. "Even your mind isn't whole. Through year, it created something... unusual, disturbing, disgusting. You have no place among ponies. They have purpose, destiny, they are happy and they do what they want. Do you see poverty? Do you see wars or violence?

"Ponies are better than you or humanity as a whole." the Figure grinned. "You do not belong here. A filthy being like yourself would be better off lying in a ditch, rotting away into nothing. You are dirt."

"...I am." Sirius sighed, the tension leaving his body as he let the chains keep him in the air. He could not resist them, he couldn't fight them.

"At least you understand." the Figure nodded, satisfied with Sirius' answer. "So... Will you let it continue? It's not too late to get rid of Iclyn."

"Leave her be." the former human replied.

"Your choice. You will regret it. You always regret your choices." the nightmarish being chuckled. "However, I'm certain she will die before getting to us here. And then... she will become a part of you. Neither of us believe in heaven or hell, but for Iclyn... She's gotten herself right into the burning, rotten depths."

The pegasus awaited patiently as she gazed into the skies. Something wasn't right with them, she noticed. Instead of grayish clouds or blue of the sky, everything had a purplish tint, which was almost unnoticeable to normal eye.

A flash of light appeared suddenly, and a few seconds later thunder rolled from the distance. The rain was becoming harder quickly.

"Hey, Ice-leen!" Stanislav shouted from his house's porch. "Um, there's a rain, and my parents are okay with you! Come in!"

Iclyn stood up and trotted to the house. As soon as she entered it, Stanislav closed the door behind her and locked it. The rain was soon tapping on the windows as harsh wind blew it almost completely parallel to the ground.

She immediately noticed two people standing in the hall, both of them were much taller than Stanislav and towered above the pegasus, making her feel very small. Both of their faces were unclear, Iclyn couldn't focus on them as if they were in a fog, the man's face much more thant woman's. As for the boy, he was standing between the two humans, a look of caution on his young face.

"Um, hello." Iclyn said warily. "I'm Iclyn."

"I'm Andrey, glad to meet you." one of the adults spoke with a thick accent Iclyn couldn't recognize. The man walked up to the pegasus, extending his hand. Iclyn awkwardly placed her hoof on his palm, and he squeezed it lightly, his dark-brown eyes looking at the pegasus calmly.

"Oh dear, you could've drenched out there." a woman behind Andrey said, moving closer to Iclyn. "I'm Nadezhda, pleased to meet you."

Iclyn frowned slightly as she tried once again to see their faces. However, the only clear face was Stanislav's. To her, the two parents seemed to take an alien too lightly. From the boy's words, she concluded that talking pegasi didn't exist in his world.

"You're definitely... Unusual." Andrey commented as he looked over her equine features. "But we welcome you. Stas told us you're searching for someone, correct?"

"Yes, I do." Iclyn nodded, her mind starting to work on how to present her goal to Stanislav's parents. For all she knew, they might get angry at her once she did it.

"How about we talk after we have dinner?" the man suggested. "I'm pretty sure both Stas and you are hungry."

The pegasus didn't know whether she should agree or not. Neither Andrey nor Nadezhda were real, they were just the memories Sirius had. However, they could interact with Iclyn, which she deemed unusual. She had no idea how it could ever work.

She must hurry to save Sirius, to bring him back. She must find his current self, his real self. Memories make a man, but a single memory can't represent him wholly. She was seeing his early childhood, way before he had become what he was. What did all of this even mean?

The family and Iclyn were eating together. Stanislav had changed his clothes, opting for a black T-shirt and sweatpants of the same coloration. His arms exposed, his skinny form could be seen, which left Iclyn wondering how he could live like that. He almost looked like a skeleton.

She also noticed that he ate meat. While it was true that some ponies enjoyed fish from time to time, it could be seen that humans needed it. Stanislav's canines could be seen clearly as they tore meat into small parts which were then chewed up by him.

"So, whom are you searching for?" Andrey asked her after the melas were finished and everyone was just sitting at the table.

"...I'm looking for Sirius." Iclyn replied after a small pause.

Almost immediately, frowns touched Stanislav's parents' faces. The boy had already retreated to him room after the dinner was over.

"He's not here." Nadezhda spoke, her voice quiet and sorrowful. "You will have to go much, much farther to find him."

"But... you're all a part of his mind, right?" the pegasus asked cautiously, her body tense.

"Does it make us less real?" the woman asked, tilting her head slightly. "We are all here inside him. We are all many parts of him. And yet, we... exist on our own. We have our limitations, but we are here."

"Where should I go?" Iclyn asked, her body relaxing ever so slightly.

"Forward." came a simple answer. "But... maybe you can help our son first? Stas has been having a lot of nightmares recently. Maybe you can help him."

"I don't know..." the pegasus shifted in place, her ears slightly down. Nightmares? She wasn't Luna, how would she be able to solve them? However, she could at least do something. "I'll try."

"He's in his room. Be careful and... good luck." Andrey finished, and Iclyn could hear notes of Sirius' own voice in his father's.

Iclyn nodded, and then went upstairs, remembering that Stanislav had gone there after dinner. She sighed quietly, hoping everything would be alright.

"So... Iclyn will remain here for a long time?"

"Maybe even a year, yes." Luna nodded. There were two ponies in the room where Sirius and Iclyn were, and they were Iclyn's parents. "So far, she's doing good."

"She loves him a lot if she agreed to go this far."

"The bond between the two is very strong." the princess explained. "Sirius was searching for comfort, love, and care. He saved Iclyn's life during the invasion and drove the changelings away by defeating a strong foe — their queen. He almost gave his life for hers." she turned to Sirius. His expression hadn't changed but he was sweating. "He loves her greatly, not just anyone would give their lives. As for Iclyn, I believe she cares for him just as much. From what I know, I suspect she knows what's under his expressionless mask. A kind and caring person that just needs some love."

Silence fell on all the ponies in the room. For a few moments, no one said anything,

"But... What if she dies?" one of Iclyn's parents asked.

"Then I'll have to put Sirius down, I'm afraid." Luna replied in a grim tone. "But... something tells me it won't happen."

Iclyn entered Stanislav's room as soon as he allowed her to. His room was rather bland, featuring only some furniture and empty walls of bluish coloration. There was nothing to point out but a strange piece of equipment the pegasus assumed to be a sort of TV.

As for the boy, he was sitting on his bed. He blinked tiredly, a frown on his face. He rubbed his legs together and let out a yawn.

"Every time I fall asleep, things come out of the forest." he explained. "They... They want to eat me. They're scary."

"Don't worry, I will protect you." Iclyn assured him, but then added silently: "I wish I could've done it before..."

"O-okay." Stanislav nodded. "I, uh... I didn't expect it. You're nice, Ice-leen. Thank you."

"No problem." the pegasus smiled at him lightly. "Just sleep."

The boy nodded and lay down. He closed his eyes, his breath became calm. Soon, everything around Iclyn turned into a blur, and then into darkness. Suddenly, a forest jumped into her vision.

She blinked a couple of times before she understood what was happening. The trees around her were dry, just a few fragile yellow leaves left on them. Their trunks were crooked as if someone bent them and kept them that way for a long time. The yellow grass crunched under her hooves as she turned around. She looked up and saw a gray cloudy sky.

A distant scream was heard.

"Stas?" Iclyn called, worry in her voice. She couldn't quite tell where the scream came from.

"Please, help!" she heard. And yet, she couldn't figure out the source of the voice.

"I'm coming!" she shouted, hoping to get a reply. She frantically turned around, hoping to see a path or at least something.

"Where are you? P-please!" the boy continued to cry as Iclyn tried to figure out where the voice was coming from.

"I'm looking for you!" she yelled again. She needed to know where Stanislav was.

"W-why did you leave me?"

That question struck her. She had never left Stanislav. She had never left Sirius... had she? She always tried to help him no matter what. She loved him dearly and it pained her to see him in his near-death state. What could she do to save him?

Iclyn took off and flew up into the skies and looked around. Stanislav must be somewhere nearby. The pegasus was sure she'd be able to see him soon. And then, she would help him no matter what stood in her way.

She mustn't let Sirius die.

Sirius was hanging by the chains, sobbing quietly. His eyes were closed but a steady stream of tears was present. His whole body shook as he desperately tried to contain his tears.

He felt shame. Men don't cry, they stand up and fight. And yet, he couldn't. He fought all his life, but he could do so no more.

"She will find out everything..." he chanted, his lips barely moving, his breath labored. "She will..."

"And it is all your fault." the Figure spoke. It was standing below him, its eyes burning with hatred and disgust. "And now, you're nothing more than a rotting pile of flesh and bones."

"What do I do?" Sirius asked.

"There is a way..." the Figure flew up, coming eye to eye with the former human. "You will..." it raised a hand and pointed it and Sirius' head. "Sleep." it touched the forehead, instantly making Sirius go limp and silent. "You can never do anything right, but I can."

The Figure returned to the ground, a revolver appearing in its hand. The nightmarish creature gripped it tightly, its pointing finger playing with the trigger while its thumb rubbed against the hammer.

The Figure looked back at Sirius and snorted.

"It's time to do what you would be too afraid of doing."

Chapter 6: Nightmares

Dreams are strange phenomena that are yet to be explained. No one truly knows why they appear or what they mean, and if they have any meaning at all. Some people can even control their dreams, creating whatever they want from nothing. However, most dreams are uncontrollable and often matter little to the person experiencing them. As such, they're easily forgettable and usually don't stay in mind unless a person makes a conscious effort to put it inside their memory for whatever reason they had at the time.

It is known that dreams enhance and amplify the feelings during it. Euphoria, happiness, pleasure, all of it is multiplied tenfold and brought upon the dreamer. Because of that reason many people prefer dreams to the waking hours. It can be said that sleep is a kind of drug.

There is an interesting and at the same time scary kind of dreams, and that type is something no one wants to experience — nightmares. They evoke strong senses of danger, phobia, amplified feelings of fear, anxiety, and sometimes even cause depression. They are built of negative things which are connected to one's memories and experiences. Traumas, emotions connected to specific events, even various psychological disorders can cause nightmares.

If those causes are left untreated, the nightmares produced by them may come to life.

Sirius was struggling to break free from the forced sleep he was put in. Different images flashed inside his head, blinding and deafening him, making him shed tears of pain and regret as he recalled all his memories at once. He knew everything that he had been and was, everything that had made him whom he became. Many of those things he didn't wish to remember.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." he muttered rapidly, sweat rolling down his forehead as he tried to open his eyes. "Please, forgive me! Forgive me! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! Punish me, beat me, hit me! I deserve it, I'm sorry!" his mumbling turned into shaking, almost incomprehensible cries and babbling. "P-please, forg-give me! I w-will do anything, please! Just let me... I'm a good person! I, I just need to... Please! I can b-be better! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

He continued to cry and shout, his body rocking, swinging on the bloodied chains that held it captured. His limbs flailing helplessly, the iron of the chains biting deeper into his dying body, Sirius cried loudly, hoping someone would come and save him.

Save him from himself.

Iclyn was frantically scanning the surroundings, looking for Stanislav. She could hear his cries for help, and it made her fur stand up as a chill ran down her spine. She needed to find him before anything bad happened to him. And if it had already happened, she could at least try to get him out and comfort him. There was no way she was leaving him alone and unprotected.

Finally, she saw something down below. It was a small one-storeyed house hidden between the trees. She immediately flew to the ransacked and abandoned building, the cries of the boy growing louder as she closed in. Her breath was rapid as she flapped her wings as hard as she could. Soon, she landed at the house's entrance and dashed inside. She had no time to waste.

She stopped as soon as she saw a terrifying creature blocking her path. It was a brown dog with matted fur, its eyes red, the maw opened with at least three rows of shark-like teeth visible in it. The dog growled, and then charged at Iclyn.

The pegasus let out a yelp as she dodged to the side, avoiding the pounce of the dog. Before it could recover, Iclyn bucked it in the head, knocking some teeth out of its maw. It growled loudly, but the pegasus delivered another blow, rendering the creature unconscious or possibly dead. She had no time to think about it or make sure of either option — she had to get to Stanislav first. He depended on her and she wasn't about to let him down.

Iclyn charged into the next room and came upon a small pack of spiders, each one about two thirds of her size. All of them had elongated equine-like heads with sharp and crooked teeth peeking out of the maws. Completely black but glistening eyes covered most of the body of each spider. However, no spider seemed to have noticed the pegasus, moving forward instead.

She gagged at the display of nightmarish creatures, and then looked around carefully but quickly. There was no way she could deal with them all by herself, at least not with just her hooves. She couldn't fly because of the size of the room, and she couldn't use her natural pegasi powers. Thankfully, there was a slightly rusted sword lying near a wall. There was also an L-shaped metallic thing lying nearby but Iclyn decided to stick with what was familiar. She proceeded to grab the sword with her maw, and then fearlessly charged into the spiders. She knew her recklessness could cost her something that couldn't be returned — her own life. However, she couldn't afford to search for another way. Time was running out, and she had to get to Stanislav the quickest way, even if it was the most dangerous one She managed to cut the spiders up before they could react, leaving twitching limbs and oozing body parts lying on the old wooden floor.

Iclyn panted but didn't let go of the sword. She fought back the urge to vomit as she shook her head, clearing it. She knew she had a goal and she intended to complete it. She focused her mind on the task and moved forward.

"Help!" she heard Stanislav crying desperately and fearfully.

Without a doubt or hesitation, Iclyn went further inside the house. In the deepest room, she found the boy curled up in the corner, weeping and sobbing. His clothes were covered in dirt, his hair was a mess, and one of his socks appeared to be missing.

"I'm here, Stas." Iclyn said, walking up to him. He looked at her and his eyes widened. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

Suddenly, everything warped around her, disappearing into nothing. Aside from the boy himself, everything became almost completely black, fading from her vision. It seemed like the darkness would swallow both Iclyn and Stanislav without much effort, but it soon left, and the two appeared back in the boy's room, unharmed.

Iclyn sat down and sighed in relief, her heart still pounding. Stanislav, on the other hand, was staring wide-eyed at the pegasus. He slowly stood up from the bed and walked up to her.

"Iclyn..." he said quietly, rubbing his legs together. "Thank you." he leaned in and hugged her tightly, nuzzling her neck.

Iclyn was surprised but welcomed the feeling. Stanislav was warm and nice to touch, his breath washing over her fur. She hugged him back without hesitation.

She managed to do it. However, did it matter? After all, everything she had been experiencing was just Sirius' memories. But how was she able to interact with them and change them, probably even add to them? It made absolutely no sense. Even if it was just a dream, only Princess Luna could interact with them, or so Iclyn thought.

Finally, she had the time to look around the room. She immediately noticed something very familiar — a L-shaped metallic object that looked exactly like one from Stanislav's nightmare. However, the tip of its longer part was painted orange.

"What is that?" she asked, pointing at the object.

"What is what?" Stanislav asked, separating from her and looking where she was pointing at. "Ah, this..." he stood up and picked up the object. "That's a pistol." he ejected the magazine, his index finger of the holding hand kept off the trigger. "I want to become a policeman like my dad was! I need a gun to be safe." he quickly disassembled the pistol, and then added: "But I won't use it unless I'm or others are in danger."

"What's a pistol?" Iclyn asked with interest. She already understood that it was a weapon. Judging by its shape and structure, she assumed it was close to a revolver.

"That's, uh..." Stanislav scratched the back of his head. "Like, um... Uh... Do you know what, uh, a cannon is?"

The pegasus nodded.

"Pistol is way smaller and can fire more than once." the boy explained. "I guess it's like a crossbow, too. I think you know what it is, right?"

"That's interesting." Iclyn commented. "And your father was a police... man? Why isn't he one now? Did something happen to him?

"I don't know." Stanislav shrugged. "I mean, my parents escaped from a collapsing country... I don't know much more. I probably should ask." he paused. "I... don't really want to. They get sad whenever I ask anything about it. I still want to become a policeman, though. Police helps people, and I want to be one of them!"

"That's really noble of you." the pegasus said. She frowned as doubts crawled inside her head. Was Stanislav really Sirius? She had a feeling he wouldn't say those words. He was all by himself and cared about just a few people. Besides, his aggression didn't fit well into all of this.

"It's not much, really..." the boy averted his eyes as he trailed off. "So, um... Whom do you want to become?"

"I don't know." Iclyn shrugged. "I can do something... Help people in my own way, I guess. I think I'll do that."

"And what is it?" Stanislav inquired.

"Well, we pegasi control the weather." the pegasus explained. "That way, we help others grow food and do a bunch of other useful stuff."

"Never knew pegasi could do that, huh." the boy scratched the top of his head. "I mean, I believe you totally can do that. And it's really cool to control that rain, clouds, whatever. I would like to have some clouds all the time. But no rain! It gets all messy when rain pours."

For a few moments, Iclyn completely forgot that she was in Sirius' mind. Instead, she found a lively chat with his younger self quite enjoyable and even fun. The boy was willing to share different stories and experiences that he had with his friends and family. However, he didn't go into much detail about the school aside from saying that his studies were alright.

In the end, the conversation was satisfying to both of them. It was time for the pegasus to live and search for the real Sirius. She politely said her goodbyes to the boy and his family, and then left the house after getting some information.

She had to go back to the forest.

Anastasia was in the hospital room where Sirius and Iclyn were. Both of them were connected to life support, and everything was being observed by none other than Princess Luna herself.

"When will they wake up?" the girl asked with worry.

"It's unknown." Luna replied. "But I assure you that they will wake up as soon as everything is resolved."

"Can I help?" Anastasia offered.

"...I'm afraid not at the moment." the alicorn shook her head after a few moments of thinking. "After Iclyn entered Sirius' mind, the door to him was reinforced. I don't want to risk him going insane, and so I won't try to open it again. I'm sorry, but that's how it is."

"I understand." the girl nodded, the frown on her face deepening. "I just... I think I'm part of the reason he's like this. I just want to help him."

"Don't blame yourself. I'm sure Sirius doesn't blame you either." Luna replied. "I believe he's been suffering from a mental condition for many years. It could've warped his perception of reality and how different things work. It can be fixed but it will take time."

"I... guess." Anastasia replied. "I just... feel useless."

"There are many things we can't influence or change." the princess sighed. "I'm afraid that's just how life works, and even beings like myself or my sister can never change it."

Author's Notes:

I want to know the full portrait of Sirius, how you imagine him to be. What do you think he suffered from to became what he is now? What mental issues does he have? I'd love to hear all about it, and especially theories and guesses.

Chapter 7: School

No one knows what life is. Does it follow logic? Or is it completely random and prone to change, be it conscious effort or not? Is someone or something controlling it? There are many possibilities but no true answers to the many questions people ask about life. It is fascinating how many opinions spurred throughout the ages about what life truly is and what meaning of it there is.

A computer simulation. A dream. A play where you have no control or its presence doesn't matter. There are many possibilities, and none of them have been proven yet. People are free to think as they will, but the truth is yet to be discovered.

Some people are guided by their beliefs in supernatural beings — faith. Others use science, facts and logic. And some don't care at all, going with the flow. They do whatever they deem right at the moment, and they don't believe in destiny or fate.

The meaning or the purpose of life is also a debatable topic among many people. They find meaning in serving a god or goddess, whichever they prefer. They may also believe in higher purpose, fate or destiny. Some people make their own meaning, their purpose, and they live by it.

There are also people that searched for answer but gained nothing. No purpose, no meaning, no goal, nothing. Such people either accept it and do whatever they want to do or end their lives in fear of living a meaningless life.

Life is great many a thing: a gift or a burden; blessing or a curse. It all depends on the individual and if they decide to value their life or not.

Some decide that even their own lives hold no value even to themselves.

Iclyn walked through the forest, often looking around. A light drizzle was still present, making her shiver slightly. Her steps were careful and cautious, her body tense as a spring, her feathery wings twitching slightly, ready for take off. Her ears swiveled around, picking up the smallest sound and slightly twitching as well. However, there wasn't much to be heard. The forest was almost completely silent, and only the wind and the occasional rustle of the foliage added to the ambiance. Leaves were falling from the trees, covering the ground in yellow, red, and orange. The carpet of leaves was soft at times, as well as crunchy under pegasus' hooves.

The narrow path that Iclyn had found earlier was mostly straight and led deeper and deeper into the forest. To her surprise, she noticed snow falling down from the skies, and there was a thick layer of it further behind the trees. The clouds were gray with a purple tint, hiding the sun behind them.

Suddenly, Iclyn came to a wide asphalt road. Old white markings could still be seen on it. Before she could inspect the road further, a car drove past her. She jumped in surprise and flew up in the air, her eyes following the sudden noise-maker.

She blinked a few times as the car disappeared around the next turn. She had no idea what it was but she was certain she noticed something familiar about it. And thus she decided to follow it and see what it was. She took off into the air and proceeded to catch up with the fast object.

It resembled a chariot or a train but looked like it was made of some kind of metal. It had only four wheels and no tank, yet it still moved, and moved fast, maybe even faster than a train. Which left a question — how was it even possible?

There were what Iclyn assumed were glass windows on all sides of the strange object. She looked inside and saw Stanislav along with his parents. Andrey was handling a wheel of sorts, and the other two were sitting calmly in their seats. All of them had stripes of what looked like some sort of fabric wrapped around them securely.

The pegasus flew alongside the car but it didn't look like any of its passengers or the driver noticed her. It puzzled her — all of them were able to see her before.

Stanislav was staring out of a slightly opened window, the look in his eyes blank and disinterested. His face was even paler than Iclyn remembered seeing it.

On their way, the family passed by a small settlement, which quickly faded into nothing. After about five minutes of driving, the car reached a town. It stopped near the edge and everyone disembarked. Stanislav was bearing a backpack and a simple bag with shoes in it.

"Is everything alright?" Nadezhda asked him with worry as he breathed deeply, vapor coming out of his mouth and sweat visible on his almost snow-white face. Before responding, he made a couple of deep breaths, following it by spitting out thick saliva.

"Y-yeah..." the boy shakily replied, calming down soon. He put on a wool hat after his breathing subsided. "Is it okay if I take a walk from here?"

The mother looked at her watch for a brief second before replying.

"Well, classes start in twenty minutes. I think that if you hurry, you will get there just in time." she told him. "Good luck, Stas!"

A few minutes later, Stanislav was walking down the streets, keeping to the buildings. Gray people passed by him as he looked down at the ground, avoiding any eye contact. Even while he had warm gloves, he kept his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He was walking quickly but not running, his boots crunching the snow underneath them.

The scene suddenly changed with Stanislav standing in front of a big building. After looking at it for a few seconds, the boy sighed wearily and then entered it, Iclyn closely following him. He hadn't noticed her yet, which was a surprise. Why couldn't she interact with him at the moment? She even waved a hoof in front of his face, only for it to pass through his skull as he moved forward, slightly startling Iclyn.

As soon as Stanislav entered the building, the pegasus understood that it was his school. Many other children were around, some younger than him, some older. The boy made his way past them and to a staircase. He kept his head down and avoided bumping into anyone.

Unfortunately, he bumped his shoulder against a door as he tried to get onto a staircase. He stopped for a second, and then kicked the door strongly, making it rattle. The boy huffed a few times, clenching his fists and fighting the urge to hit the door again. He relaxed shortly and went upstairs.

Iclyn continued following him, and no one noticed her. Instinctively, she tried not to get into anyone's way. However, the ceiling was low, preventing her from flying, and thus she had to pass through some of the students. The sensation was strange but not painful, making the pegasus feel slightly uneasy.

Suddenly, the time seemed to stop as soon as the two stepped into the hall of the second floor. Confused, Iclyn looked around. A chill went up her spine as she felt a presence. She didn't know who it was or how she could feel it but she knew someone was there. Someone familiar and at the same time completely alien.

*click*

She knew that sound.

The pegasus' eyes widened, immediately looking at the opposite end of the hall. There, a tall and naked human stood. Its skin was unhealthily pale and looked like it was stretched over a skeleton. Its eyes were nested deeply into the skull and emitted a reddish hateful glow. In its left hand, a revolver was pointed at Iclyn, its barrel gaping at her like a snake ready to bite.

Without a second thought, she dodged to the side, and then fire erupted from the revolver.

*BLAM!*

https://youtu.be/BcPkZU8kMw0

The shot barely missed her as she ducked, and then ran back to the stairs. She galloped down them as quickly as she could, but it seemed like they had no end. She descended deeper and deeper and yet she couldn't reach the first floor. There were windows behind rusted bars but she had no time or enough strength to get out using that way.

She heard footsteps behind her. She breathed rapidly, panic wrapping around her in a cocoon of fear. No matter how fast she went, the thing behind her only grew closer and closer. The rapid drum beat of her heart deafened Iclyn as she desperately tried to get away from the one who was chasing her.

The next stairwell turned into a straight narrow corridor of gray and featureless concrete. The pegasus dashed forward, hoping to get to its end or the nearest turn before the nightmare got to her. She propelled herself forward with her wings, flapping as hard as she could. She wasn't the fastest pegasus but she did all in her strength to get away from the stairs as quickly as possible.

*BLAM!*

Iclyn yelped and tumbled across the floor as one of her wings suddenly twitched violently, breaking her flight. She stopped soon, hitting a wall. With a huff, her body fell down.

A dead end.

After her head stopped spinning, she turned around, facing the creature. Her eyes went wide, her breath still rapid. It was aiming at her. Each millisecond seemed like an eternity, and Iclyn knew it would be futile to evade the nightmare. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see her own demise.

A second passed. Iclyn breathed in. Another followed. She exhaled. And another one.

All was silent.

Slowly, the pegasus opened her eyes.

The revolver was no longer being aimed at her. Instead, the nightmarish creature struggled as the gun turned on its bearer, a purplish aura around it. The being held the revolver with two hands but it inexorably rotated away from Iclyn and towards the one holding it.

"We'll see..." the Figure spoke in a ghastly and yet familiar voice. It was straining to speak as it used its strength to prevent the revolver from turning. "About that."

Everything immediately changed back to the school. Iclyn continued to stare wide-eyed in front of her as shock washed over her body.

The bell rang, signaling the start of the classes.

The pegasus let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She blinked slowly, the tension in her body going away and the pain coming in just as slowly. A stream of blood was dripping down her left wing, leaving small spots on the floor.

Iclyn inhaled sharply. She knew why it didn't kill her. She suspected that the one who managed to prevent the murder was no other than...

"Sirius..."

The former human was wide awake, his eyes red, veins bulging on his forehead, and his horn glowing. He poured all his will and power into turning the revolver away from Iclyn. He couldn't allow it to happen, he would never forgive himself if she died.

Sirius was relieved after the Figure disappeared but not for long. Soon, the nightmarish creature appeared near the former human. Without saying anything, it used the revolver as a club, punching Sirius in the face until it bled. He groaned in pain but more hits were delivered, forcing him to close his mouth and nearly bite off his own tongue.

The chains released him and he fell to the ground, blood splattering around him. He screamed in pain as his leg bent in an unnatural way under him.

Silently, the Figure started beating up the former human with a free hand and the revolver at the same time, making nasty bruises appear on Sirius' body. The nightmarish creature didn't cease the beating even when the former human weakly tried to resist.

It punched him everywhere, breaking the bones under heavy hits. Soon, Sirius was no longer able to move as he wheezed.

"I said..." he spoke quietly, his eyes barely open. Then, he poured the most of his strength into one small sentence before collapsing, breathless: "Don't hurt her!"

The Figure stood up, the revolver disappearing from its hands. After kicking Sirius for the last time and a good measure, the creature faded away with a disappointed and angry frown on its face.

The chains reappeared, quickly finding a way through the body of the former human and lifted him up once again, securing him in place.

Sirius opened his eyes slightly as he felt a jolt of pain.

"Iclyn, if you hear me..." he said quietly. "Please, end this. I can't... I can't be like this anymore." he paused, listening. "P-please..."

Unbeknownst to herself, Iclyn was already doing what she could.

Just not in the way Sirius implied.

Author's Notes:

While I'm sick at the moment, I managed to finish this chapter and do a song for it. What do you think about the latter?

None of us (as of now) have replied to the question I asked in the previous chapter. That's a bit disappointing but I understand that you need more information to make assumptions on.

Chapter 8: Descent

Schools are supposed to be the temples of knowledge, sacred places of peaceful education. Thousands of pages of information, countless studies, experiments, observations, all written down and accessible for students to see. They are supposed to be taught under the supervision of wise and kind teachers, who know how to find a way to teach anyone.

Schools are supposed to be places for studying. They are supposed to make children into responsible and smart adults. They are supposed to teach how to live and make a living, how to find a job, how to be successful in life, and how to keep that flame of curiosity each person possesses since their very birth.

Instead, schools are places with toxic environments unsuitable for growing up. Teachers don't care about their subjects. Children are left alone, and the weak and defenseless are crushed. Insulted, humiliated, even beaten up and crippled. No understanding, only jumping to conclusions and shouting louder than others.

Some people endure the hell. They might even come out happy and actually educated. Live a good life, find new friends, and maybe even make a family.

However, others are not so lucky. They grow up into hateful and depressed people because they were abused and bullied by stronger kids. Unsocial, undesirable, and extremely lonely, the victims of the inefficient system either try to make their life better, hide somewhere and use their imagination for what the reality didn't give them or they end up killing themselves.

Or killing others, which is also a possibility.

Hopefully, they had friends to pull them out of the pit of failure and hate. Otherwise, the victims become the hunters, the predators. Unrelenting, unforgiving... Insane.

And burn shall all those standing in their path.

Princess Luna was worryingly looking over Iclyn. During her stay, the alicorn noticed her body twitching suddenly, and then a blood stain appeared on the sheets. Luna examined the sudden wound.

"Round..." she muttered to herself as she carefully unfolded the wing. "All the way through... Penetration from the back." she paused for a few moments, gears turning in her head. "She was running, and someone attacked her..." she assumed. "A ranged weapon, definitely." she concluded, and then sighed deeply. She hoped it wouldn't have come to this.

Luna paused for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. She wiped the sweat off of her forehead, and then licked her dry lips. She sighed shakily and gulped. She was trying to reach Iclyn's mind and communicate with her but something was blocking her way. It was something out of her control.

"It's safe to assume that the mental block extends to Iclyn's mind." Luna figured out. "I just need to..."

"Sister, how are you?" a familiar voice spoke from behind the alicorn, slightly startling her. She was so focused on her own thoughts she didn't hear the sound of hooves growing closer.

"Oh, hello Tia." Luna replied, turning around to face her elder sister. "I'm more or less fine. However, I can't say the same in regards to Sirius and Iclyn."

Celestia's gaze passed bloodstained sheets and an outstretched Iclyn's wing. The wound was already being healed by Luna as her magic encompassed it.

"Is it dangerous for her to continue exploring his mind?" Celestia asked.

"Judging by her wound, yes." the nightly princess nodded, a frown on her face. "However, I can't pull the two apart. Their minds are linked, and I could severely hurt them both by forcibly cutting the link. Their minds might not recover from something like that, and I won't be held responsible for this." she paused. "I've not made contact with Iclyn yet. Sirius' strong mental block extended into her mind, protecting it from my influence. His mind is unstable but very durable and strong."

"Prior to... the duel, was Iclyn able to help Sirius?"

"All her efforts was nullified by my mistake, I'm afraid." Luna sighed. "However, I know for certain that they are or at least were in love. It could be that Sirius now considers that love fake, but hopefully he doesn't think that way." she looked at the former human. "From what I know from Cadance and Anastasia, I can assume that the two were intimately close at least once. It's highly probable that their bond strengthened during their intimacy." she looked down. "I... I hope I didn't make Sirius believe that all was fake. He maybe believes that... he was raped." she shuddered. "It would be truly terrible."

"Luna, are you blaming yourself for it?" Celestia asked softly.

Luna was silent, her eyes looking at her own hooves and refusing to rise. Her ears drooped as a frown made its way onto her face.

"I... I do." she admitted. "The letter I have sent so long ago should've never made it to Iclyn. It has set Sirius off. I angered him by my impulsive decision to go right into his dreams instead of slowly gaining his trust, too." she looked up at Celestia. "If only I wasn't so unthoughtful, he would be happy with the one he loves." she looked down again. "So yes, I do blame myself. I try to help ponies in any way I can, but I couldn't help Sirius, the one who needed my help the most."

"Maybe you can rebuild your relationship with him someday. No one holds grudges forever." Celestia replied.

"Maybe... But I don't think that Sirius is the one to easily forget what was done to him, be it good or bad. Especially the bad."

After her encounter with the Figure, Iclyn managed to calm down and find Stanislav in time before the classes began. He was sitting at the desk to the side of the class but not on the last row. As the teacher started talking, the pegasus took a place near the boy and watched him as he wrote down different things.

Her ear twitched as she heard a whisper from behind. She turned around and saw a kid trying to get Stanislav's attention.

The boy paid it no mind as he absent-minded stacked pens into a square, and then raised it. However, his eyes often turned to the side, acknowledging the whispers from behind. He ignored them for another few minutes until they became too annoying for him. Anger was boiling inside him, Iclyn could feel it as if it were her own. She felt how he felt, and she too was angered at the kid behind Stanislav. Why was the boy bothered anyway? He was being quiet and didn't bother anyone himself.

"What?" he asked after turning around.

"Stanislav!" the teacher called. "Attention, please."

Stanislav immediately turned back and looked at the blackboard. The kid who was bothering him giggled behind his back. The boy clenched his fists, the skin on the knuckles becoming pale. His face twisted into a frown, sparks of anger in his dark-green eyes as he stared dead ahead.

Suddenly, he swiftly turned around, grabbed the kid's head, and with a surprising force slammed it against the table. Before the kid or anyone else could react, Stanislav lifted his head and hit it against the desk for the second time, breaking the kid's nose.

"Stanislav Zima!" the teacher yelled, and the boy ceased the beating. He turned back and stared into the eyes of the teacher, his eyes bearing a heavy and unnerving look. "You go to the principal right now!"

Stanislav stayed silent for a few moments, his fists clenched, all blood gone from his face. His body was shaking from the adrenaline coursing through his tense body. The whole class was silent save for the kid behind Stanislav, who was whimpering and wiping the blood from under his nose.

"He didn't start it." someone else said. Stanislav turned to that person and smiled slightly.

"Violence is unacceptable, and I will not let it slide regardless of who started it." the teacher replied sternly. "Stanislav, don't make me repeat twice. Stand up and go to the principal."

Slowly, the boy stood up, his blazing eyes looking at the teacher. He walked to the door and exited the classroom.

Iclyn was speechless. She began to understand a statement Sirius had made some time ago. He didn't seem to care about it either, at least not when he was way younger.

I was always violent.

"I'm afraid I'll have to call your parents, young man." the principal said to Stanislav. "It's not the first incident this month. Most importantly, it's not an incident. You purposefully hurt him, without restraint." the man squinted his eyes slightly, his frown deepening. "Or regret."

"What would calling my parents do?" Stanislav asked in a monotonous voice.

"Hopefully, you will see reason if it is spoken by those who gifted you with life." the principal replied. "If not... Well, I'm afraid your parents will have to find a different school for you. I doubt that any school tolerates such violence, however just or unjust it may be."

The boy stayed silent this time, opting to look at the floor instead. His hands were restless as the fingers tapped against his knees.

"As for you, young lady," the man continued, turning to Iclyn. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw him looking directly at her with a stare she found all too familiar. "Unlawful entry is penalized by death."

The boy turned to look at Iclyn as well and stared right into her eyes, looking through her very soul. Both people in the room had their eyes on her, their unblinking stares making the pegasus seem small and very vulnerable.

"I, I came to help!" she replied, her voice loud and stuttering. The silence was pressing on her, forcing her down, and she felt the need to break it. "Sirius... If you can h-hear me, I love you! I j-just want to help you! Please, l-let me help you!"

A shadow appeared behind the two humans. A tall, thin shadow of vaguely humanoid appearance. Two burning purple eyes were glowing, joining the stares of the other two.

"I won't leave you, Sirius!" Iclyn yelled, trying to make the deafening silence go away. "I will find a way to bring you back! You deserve to live, you deserve to have more!"

"No one deserves to live." the three voices spoke in monotonous unison. The young, the old, and the real. "All these people surrounding me... They deserved to die."

Suddenly, the man collapsed, a hole appearing in the center of his forehead. His blood streamed onto the floor and turned into a crimson puddle.

"You have no idea what my world is." two voices spoke, two emotionless stares remaining. "You will never understand humans or my nature. We are all filth, the worst of all ever created. We have given birth to what you have never thought of. Weapons of mass destruction... Deadly and effective. They can wipe out all life, and no amount of reasoning or kind words will prevent it.

"Each one of us is a killing machine. Each time we see a stranger, the first thought we have is how to kill them. Princess Luna, you, any other pony I've met or was friendly with, I imagined killing all of you."

"Y-you're lying! You wouldn't love me if it were true!" Iclyn disagreed, fighting back the urge to run away. She had a feeling that the one speaking to her wasn't Sirius, at least not entirely him. She knew his emotions towards her were genuine. How could one fake love? How could one fake being so shy and uncertain about it?

"We are manipulative. You ponies are easy to fool. I used you to make myself feel better. Nothing more, nothing less." the two voices replied. "There was no love, no attraction. Just a desire to dominate, rape and subdue. You gave in willingly... And it's the best part about it. Psychological torture is what we are very good at."

"I don't believe you." Iclyn stated firmly. "I know the real Sirius would never be like that."

"Oh, you are so sure?" the voices asked sarcastically. "You can always see for yourself."

Iclyn found herself in an open field. Snow was falling from the sky, coating the land in a white blanket. The sun was hidden behind gray clouds, and the snow was sparkling in what little sunlight there was. The wind was blowing, making the snowflakes fly and swirl.

Near the field, an asphalt road was situated. Cars were passing by regularly, the harsh hums of their engines disrupting the calmness and serenity of the snowy day.

A familiar car could be seen driving along the road. There was also a roar of an engine, but it wasn't coming from that car.

Suddenly, one of the cars from the opposite lane slipped on the road, spiraled out of control and crashed into the familiar car. The sounds of metal scraping against metal filled the surroundings as the two cars flipped over and stopped at the side of the road.

The familiar car's left half was almost completely destroyed, twisted into a mass of metal and plastic with something red visible on some of its exposed parts.

And all became silent.

Chapter 9: Wreckage

Tragedy isn't a common thing to experience during one's lifetime. In fact, the only tragedy, if it can be called one, most people see is the death of their family from old age. While it can break someone, it rarely happens.

There are many things that can go wrong at any time, however. Eating food or drinking water can result in choking, sleeping with the windows closed can result in suffocation, and there is a great many a thing that can happen to anyone out of the comfort of their own home. In truth, nowhere is safe.

Those tragedies may include a sudden death, crippling situation, even witnessing of one. Mugging, robbery, maybe even rape or other kinds of torture if one is particularly unlucky.

Most people never witness any of them and only know about them from history or words of others. However, some are unfortunate to have seen one, and thus they might suffer for a long time psychologically, especially if the tragedy was traumatizing.

Victims of childhood abuse or bullying, war veterans, people of all age can suffer from a trauma. Some deal with tragedies easily, and some don't.

They might or might not recover from it.

But most importantly, people often change after experiencing a tragedy, and there is no way of knowing if that change will be for the best or the worst.

Anastasia was in the living room of Sirius' mansion. The large windows were open wide, letting in the air and the sound from the streets. Leaves were falling from the trees and found their way into the room, landing somewhere inside it. The wind was making the curtains flow in a strangely beautiful way, making them seem like they were dancing to a silent tune.

The girl was lying on a windowsill, her eyes gazing at the outside, her body covered by a thin blanket. The skies were cloudy, and just a few rays of the sun were able to fall onto the ground. A soft wind was blowing, making the fallen leaves fly and swirl through the air. The ponies were going around as usual, chatting joyfully along the way. A few ponies were working in the streets, collecting the leaves into plastic bags. Pegasi could be seen high in the sky, pushing the clouds around.

Anastasia sighed deeply, her eyes almost closed as she rested. There were dark circles around her eyes, her mane was slightly messy, and her overall form was thinner than before. Her chest was rising steadily but slowly, each her breath calm and long.

The weather reminded her of the early days of her friendship with Stanislav. The two would often take a walk after the classes, enjoying their time together. During the autumn, they would spend their time walking around the town and chatting about anything their minds could come up with. Unlike other kids that were playing games and generally spending their time actively, Anastasia and Stanislav preferred calmness and serenity, a trait the two of them shared. It was a pleasant and simple time the girl held close to her heart.

Back then, she already suspected him not being entirely right in the head. Unlike other kids, he was mostly silent and rarely joyful outside of his time with Anastasia. At the time, she didn't even know if he had any other friends. He was new in the town and no one knew him as well. While he tried to hide his emotions from everyone, they sometimes slipped through as it showed on one occasion.

"What about your parents?" Anastasia asked him as they were going through a forest.

He paused in his step for a brief moment, which didn't go unnoticed by the girl. His face darkened, his figure became slightly slouched. His eyes flashed a look of remembering a suppressed and distant memory, his teeth clenching hard. His fingers rapidly tapped against his things but he forced them to cease doing that in a few moments.

"Is something wrong?" she asked cautiously after the two walked for five minutes.

"...My father died in a car crash." Stanislav reluctantly replied, hiding his emotions yet again. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, he blankly stared ahead. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"...Um..." Anastasia was at loss of what to say. At least it answered the question of why she had only seen his mother. "I'm sorry, I..."

"No need." the boy cut her off, raising his voice slightly. "It's fine. You didn't know." he raised his hand and scratched the scar on his forehead, frowning slightly. "Just..." he looked at Anastasia, his eyes showing pain. "Don't ask about it, alright?"

"Y-yeah, alright." the girl replied awkwardly, and the two resumed their walk.

Not wanting to provoke her newest friend, Anastasia shifted the theme of their talk into a better route, and eventually the two were joyfully discussing something she could no longer remember. However, she remembered that one incident even without bringing it up ever again. She had never found out what truly happened during the car crash the boy experienced just about a month prior to his arrival.

Their friendship stood strong for two whole years. While Stanislav did have some shortcomings, including his temper and unsocial behavior, not to mention his possessiveness with Anastasia, in the end those two years were the best she had ever had. In fact, the boy was her best friend up until he separated from her.

After they parted ways, he became even more easily angered. His behavior changed for the worse, and Anastasia lost almost all her desire to be friends with him.

The girl sighed yet again. She wished those years could return. Maybe she would have been able to find a different way to approach Stanislav, maybe even love him.

In the end, he was just someone very troubled and needed help. Not just help, but love and care.

Anastasia remembered the look on his face when she didn't return his love. It was defeat, immense sadness, fear, and shame. He left swiftly, barely saying a word to her. He had been worse and worse ever since she rejected him, and in truth — she felt bad about doing it. She couldn't understand his breadth of emotional attachment to her, and she realized things could go differently between the two if she instead gave him a chance. They would have dated and she would have been able to find out whether he was serious about having a loving relationship with her or not. Maybe the two could even become a couple later on.

Unfortunately, it didn't go that way. Anastasia found herself thinking that if it did, Stanislav wouldn't kill himself.

She sighed deeply, regrets and blame setting in. She could be less judgmental of him and give him an honest chance, but instead she decided to outright reject someone who loved her very dearly. She knew how badly he craved love, and while his ways were sometimes strange, he meant good. Maybe if she helped him understand how to deal with love, he wouldn't become a hateful being.

In truth, she thinking about it because she was simply jealous of the relationship Iclyn and Sirius had. She could've had it instead but she missed her chance, and so the boy she used to know as Stanislav showed his great love and immense care not to her but to someone else.

She closed her eyes completely. Maybe some sleep would make her feel better.

Iclyn was standing in the snowy field, her eyes wide, her ears folded, and her maw slightly open. The two cars that have recently crashed were unmoving, smoke coming from one of them. No one else could be seen nearby and all was silent save for the wind. It was blowing the snow into Iclyn's face, stinging her with an icy, sharp breath.

She stood there for what seemed like eternity, staring at the cars. Slowly, she blinked, and then dashed to the wreckage, hoping to help. She couldn't use her wing yet but she galloped as fast as she could, raising the snow into the air. She would often fall into the snow piles but she would get up and gallop again, not stopping for a second, her eyes fixated on the crash site.

She was a few steps away from the cars when suddenly the door of one of them opened. A familiar human boy exited the car, his bloody hand gripping the door. Skinny, pale, having dark-brown middle-length hair, and a pair of dark-green eyes, wide open. A fresh wound could be seen on his face, stretching from the bridge of the nose all the way to the left eye, and yet not touching the latter. Blood was streaming from the wound, painting his clothes red. He was noticeable taller, his facial features more masculine than what Iclyn remembered seeing just a few minutes ago.

He turned around and looked at the wreckage. Iclyn noticed another, much more unsettling detail about his appearance — his left foot was turned ninety degrees to the left, and his left leg was awkwardly bent. However, he didn't seem to notice it at all.

Slowly, Stanislav limped around the vehicles and looked at the second car. There was a person inside it, coughing and groaning in pain as a piece of metal jutted through his side.

"I'm so dead, I'm so fucking dead..." he muttered, holding a phone in his shaking hands and trying to dial a number.

The boy stood silently, staring at the man. The smell of blood, iron, and gasoline were in the air, mixed with the freshness of a snowy day. Snow fell on Stanislav's face, thawing almost instantly and rolling down his face as droplets of water, collecting the blood in the way.

The boy looked around and found a sharp piece of metal. He picked it up and gripped it tightly. He tried not to look at the wrecked car he came out of, especially not the driver's place. It was completely destroyed, his father nowhere to be seen among the metal, plastic and glass. He could only see blood and pieces of bone.

Stanislav knew that he couldn't let the one who hurt his family get away.

An eye for an eye.

The boy limped to the car that crashed into his family. The piece of metal was being held tightly in his hand. He could already feel the pain coming, and he knew he must do everything before it comes fully.

"Don't do it!" Iclyn yelled, understanding what Stanislav was about to do. "You don't have to!"

"I absolutely had to." a voice replied to her. "Vengeance is what makes sure bad people don't get away. It has been working like that since the inception of humanity. Revenge is the ultimate form of justice, and you will accept it.

"I was sitting there, in the family car, driving from school. I watched as someone crashed into us, squishing and breaking my father. I saw a piece of his skull, one of his eyes staring right at me. I knew I had to do something, and I did what humans are very good at doing. I killed."

Stanislav opened the door to the man inside the car, and then stabbed him in the neck. The man's eyes widened and looked at the boy, his hands desperately trying to get the piece of metal out of his throat. He was choking on his own blood, gurgling loudly.

"Don't hurt my family." Stanislav said quietly, stumbling back from the car. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bent matchbox. He pulled out one match and ignited it. Disposing of the evidence always reduces the chances of getting caught.

Meanwhile, Iclyn stared in shock at the boy as he threw the lit match in a pile of gasoline that collected underneath the car. The liquid ignited, the fire rose.

The pegasus watched as Stanislav limped back to his car. He awkwardly stumbled and fell into the snow at the side of the road, strength leaving him as pain overcame his mind. His brain reacted to the intense sensation and immediately shut down.

Iclyn sat down, tears of disbelief rolling down her cheeks. She gagged, fighting the urge to vomit as the smell of burning flesh reached her nostrils. She folded her ears and averted her eyes from the awful scene.

"S-Sirius..." she mumbled, sobbing. Her tears fell onto the ground, turning into ice soon. Her wings were limp, almost lying on the ground as she cried for the one she loved. She cried because of what he did when he was young, way too young for this. She cried because of the tragedy that befell on him, making him go too far.

It was not self-defense. It was not an accident.

It was murder.

Author's Notes:

Now we all know that Sirius is a murderer, and he committed his first one when he was about twelve.

It's not the worst thing. He had to witness his father dying in front of him, and dying terribly. It's not something anyone would easily forget.

Chapter 10: Bridges

Iclyn was sitting still, her eyes staring at the unconscious body of Stanislav as he lay in snow. The car behind her was burning hotly, fires blazing and consuming it, black smoke rising.

"It was my first murder." a voice spoke, but it wasn't what the pegasus had heard before. It was much more alive, full of subtle emotions she couldn't quite catch. It was the voice of Sirius, his true one. "Coming back to it, I ask myself — was it a right thing to do? People tell me murder is wrong. But is it? I've not told them about what I did. No one knows, not even Nastya." the voice paused and sighed, a wave of emotions washing over Iclyn. Confusion, fear, uncertainty.

"Sirius?" she called him quietly, hoping to hear him answering to her.

"Time and time again, I come to a conclusion that it wasn't wrong." he continued, not hearing the pegasus. "He hurt us. He hurt me. He didn't care about anything but himself. He killed my father and had no regrets. He deserved to die. And yet..." he sighed deeply. "It was wrong. If anyone finds out somehow... No one will like me. I will spend the rest of my days in prison or mental hospital. But I won't let them take me without a fight."

The voice stopped talking, leaving everything in a deafening silence. Iclyn didn't know what to say or feel about the whole situation. Why was there Sirius' voice? Why couldn't he hear her? Perhaps, it was just a memory and his thoughts about it? After all, Iclyn was in his mind, and she had no idea how minds work.

She got up but found herself sitting again in just a moment. She needed time to think about what Stanislav had done. It was murder, one he didn't regret. Was he lying to Iclyn when talking about killing changelings? It could be so but his emotions during that time seemed genuine.

But what was the difference between killing a man or the changelings? Why was the latter worse for him? Was it because he feared she would leave him?

Or maybe because he already hated his own kind a lot? It would explain many things, but one was left unanswered — where did his immense hate come from?

Iclyn knew where to find the answers but she wasn't sure if she wanted to know them. Before her very eyes, the bad side of Sirius was showing along with his past. Many bad things had happened to him over the course of his life: anger issues keeping him disliked, his father brutally dying before his eyes, and his first murder. All of it happened when he was just a kid, influencing his later decisions and views. Maybe she could stay away and let him reveal everything to her by himself once he woke up.

There was a problem — he wasn't waking up. He was dying, he was unwilling to live. It was apparent that he no longer wanted to continue his miserable existence. Unloved by the one he wanted to give himself to, forced to commit suicide when he was just eighteen, and then trying to find love and understanding only to be torn apart from them, and almost killing himself for the second time.

There was no way for Iclyn but to continue exploring his mind in search for answers and understanding. She could at least try to understand him and convince him to return and give a chance to to life. To her.

Besides, he had no one left but her, she was the only one to rely on. His family was gone, his friends were gone, and only one of them found him accidentally. He had no one to trust but Iclyn, at least the pegasus hoped so. Was he still trusting her? There was no way of knowing but she could travel further inside his mind and see him from within: understand his motivations, look at his experiences, find out how he came to being whom he was.

She had to move forward. He needed help and understanding more than anything, and whom would Iclyn be if she didn't help the one she loved? Leaving him all alone, leaving him to suffer would be beyond cruel for someone like Sirius. He was confused and scared, searching for the light only to find none.

Everything around Iclyn begun to warp and twist, swirl and turn. Colors changed to gray, the sun was no longer shining through the clouds. A mist enveloped everything around Iclyn, and she felt a horrible chill going down her spine as a view came into focus.

It was a long, simple bridge made of stone. It disappeared behind the mist, hiding most of it, and Iclyn was standing at its beginning. Fires were rising from under the bridge, the flame licking the lifeless stone, heating it up but not enough to melt it. A smell of searing flesh in the air, making pegasus' stomach twist into a knot, making her gag and hold back the vomit.

There was a single lamp providing light. Something was glistening near it, grabbing Iclyn's interest and attention. Cautiously, she approached the lamp and looked around it, hearing a soft hum of unknown origin.

A sword was propped against the lamp. It was a longsword, its blade slightly rusty and a half of its left cross-guard was gone. A simple sheath was lying around as well, the leather mostly rotten and the metallic fittings rusting away.

Iclyn decided to take the weapon with her. She put the sword into its sheath and carefully put it on, making sure her wings weren't restrained. After adjusting the straps accordingly, she marched to the bridge. She was bearing a slight frown, her eyes looking forward. Her ears were swiveling around, trying to catch the smallest sound.

She swore she could hear something just at the edge of her hearing, something hidden behind the mist, out of sight. She had a feeling of being watched, her wings twitching slightly in the anticipation of an attack. She expected the Figure to jump out at any moment and chase her down. Or worse being that she had no idea of. Anything could be inside Sirius' mind. Monsters and abominations created by his troubled and sick mind, they could be lurking around the corner and Iclyn wouldn't know it.

None came but the quiet noises didn't cease. As much as she tried to understand them or their purpose and meaning, she couldn't. They were all around her, whispering something to her, something she couldn't understand yet. It was something about Sirius, she was sure of it.

She straightened herself, a frown of determination appearing on her face. She blew the mane out of her face and marched forward. There was no time to waste.

Princess Luna was working her magic on Iclyn's mind, and it seemed like she would be able to enter soon. Sirius' strength and power weakened, losing their grip on the mind of the pegasus. The former human was breathing laboredly, his heart beating at an increased pace, and sweat rolled down his forehead. His horn was glowing ever so slightly, his ears erratically swiveling.

Suddenly, the alicorn felt as if she was falling, darkness enveloping around her. She struggled and fought it, but as suddenly as the pressure came, it was almost immediately gone.

Before her, the Figure stood. In its left hand it held the revolver, its right hand holding a longsword. The nightmarish creature raised the revolver and fired off a shot at Luna.

In time, she conjured a shield. She felt a hard impact as the sound of the shot rang inside her ears. Another two shots were made, and neither of them penetrated the shield.

The pale creature growled lowly and moved in, preparing its sword. Luna watched it closely, preparing to strike. She knew a spell, but she needed to lower the shield to use it.

She decided to fake it by ceasing the glow of her horn. Immediately, the Figure shot another time, and then the weapon disappeared from its hand. The creature charged at Luna, pointing its sword forward for a thrust.

The alicorn lowered the shield and shot a magical projectile at the Figure. It dodged with a surprising speed, and then went in for a thrust.

Luna successfully evaded the initial strike and summoned her own sword. The steel clashed and the Figure jumped backwards, only to return a moment later with a series of swings and thrusts. It moved precisely, surprising Luna with its agility and speed. Having almost no muscle, the nightmarish being performed well, its style copying Sirius' from start to finish.

Having no time to think, the princess acted purely on hard-trained reflexes, deflecting the blows and trying to deliver her own.

"Get out of my head!" the voice of Iclyn sounded, knocking down the two duelists. "Sirius has things he'd rather hide, and I promised to keep his personal things secret."

Luna frowned, making her sword disappear. She looked around only to find that the Figure was gone as well, only four deformed bullets lying in the void of black.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" the princess asked.

"Yes, I am! Just... Sirius has been through a lot." Iclyn replied, her voice bearing sadness and pity. "I don't think it'll be a good idea for you to go in. I feel his anger and... even hate directed towards you. As soon as you entered my mind, I felt it." she paused. "Stay away for now."

"I understand." Luna nodded, and then closed her eyes. "Good luck, Iclyn."

The princess reappeared in the waking world. She opened her eyes and saw Iclyn frowning with her eyes closed. A few seconds later the frown disappeared and a neutral expression took its place.

Luna sighed deeply. It looked like she could do nothing indeed.

Anastasia was studying at the school, sitting quietly in the far back and solving mathematical problems. She bit the pencil slightly, her mind working with equations and numbers. Her eyes were going from left to right, looking over the whole problem and trying to find if she made any mistake.

To get her mind off of Sirius, she decided to dedicate her time to studying, and studying hard. It worked well, and she even enjoyed studying again. It was way easier than it was in the school but it still made her mind work.

Wind Rider was sitting by her side, helping her from time to time. She still had some problems with understanding the language, and thus his help was very appreciated. The colt worked well, not ignoring Anastasia's needs either. He knew she was feeling down because of Sirius' sickness, and he was trying to cheer her up by providing emotional and practical support. The two didn't speak much about the former human, trying to find something else to think or talk about.

However, Anastasia felt like she was betraying Sirius, trying to replace him with someone like him but less troubled. Wind Rider was a good friend, much like Stanislav was. He was quiet and shy, unsocial, but searching for his happiness and trying to make friends and be good to them. However, the colt didn't have the aggression and desire to hurt Sirius possessed since birth.

In the end, Wind Rider was indeed a better version of Sirius. Even their colors were fairly similar, too.

Anastasia didn't know if it was alright for her to try to forget Sirius and make new friends. She already liked the new colt, maybe even more than she used to like Stanislav.

She realized she was finally adjusting to the new world. She longed for home but it looked like she would never return there. Princess Luna was searching for a way but none was found so far, and there was little chance there would be anything for her at all.

In conclusion, it would be better for her to try to accept the new world and hope for the better than to drown in her misery and close herself from others.

Maybe she would reach her happiness, too.

Author's Notes:

I want to hear what you think will happen next.

Also, this chapter was finished in about two and a half hours during college, everything done from start to finish.

Chapter 11: First Encounter

Fighting is what every living being does throughout their whole life. From the moment they are born to the time of their end, they fight. Fight for survival, for food and water, for shelter. They fight for their families, mates. They fight against all odds there are: thirst, hunger, pestilence, and other living beings. It's a natural circle of life, one that cannot be broken.

However, sapient creatures are different. They are prone to mental disorders, and said disorders can change one's life. People fight them, resist them, try to do anything to make them disappear. It's an entirely different kind of fight — fight with oneself.

A series of unfortunate events may deepen the issues, especially at a young age. The one experiencing them might feel like they can't do anything right. Time and time again, these people try to reach their goal, whatever it may be. Finding friends, love, or other, more material things like finding job.

Failure can break, especially if it happens over and over again, slowly destroying the person, evoking great feelings of being unworthy, powerless, and weak.

Some people are broken even more until there is nothing left.

The moon was rising, coating the land in its pale embrace. Its light shone across the ground, illuminating it in a variety of shades of gray. A light drizzle was happening, making a fog appear and envelop Equestria in a milky vapor. Ponies were already in their homes, enjoying the warmth of their beds, wishing each-other a good night and sweet dreams.

Anastasia was rolling on the bed, groaning in displeasure as she couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep. She outstretched her limbs, grabbing a pillow in the process. She pulled it close and placed it under her tired head. She blinked and closed her eyes, wishing for the sleep to come.

The mansion was empty and silent. Lifeless, even. There was no one else inside it but Anastasia. She was in the living room, the door to it closed, the handle propped by a chair, and the window curtains were wide open. Moonlight shone onto her tired form as she adjusted her position once more.

She stopped and sighed, her eyes opening and looking at the ceiling. She slowly stood up and went to the window, a yawn escaping her. She opened the window and inhaled the fresh air, closing her eyes and savoring the taste. A tear rolled down her cheek and dropped onto the windowsill. She sniffed and wiped the tear trail away with her hoof.

The girl turned around and went to the opposite side of the room. She moved the chair away and opened the door, exiting into a dark hallway. She immediately lit all lights, making sure the hall was illuminated thoroughly. Peculiar sharp shadows were cast on the walls, ceiling, and floor, making Anastasia tremble ever so slightly.

Casually and yet cautiously, she moved to the stairs. A floorboard creaked under her, making her pause for a moment to look down and see what made the sound. Testing the creaking out a few more times to make sure it was what had made the sound, she exhaled shakily. She made a shrug that turned into a shudder at the end, and then continued her way. Once on the second floor, she dashed into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, locking it as well.

It was a mistake she almost immediately regretted. She forgot to turn on the lights, and so she was in the pitch-black darkness. She exhaled shakily, sliding down onto the floor, her eyes wide open.

She swore she could feel someone nearby, someone watching her very closely. Her breath went rapid as she tried to figure out where the switch was. She pressed herself against the wall, trying to feel it.

A realization came to her and she lit her horn, illuminating the room. However, the glow wasn't bright enough, and most of darkness remained, only a small circle of light forming around her.

She froze in place as she noticed a silhouette standing in the dark, looking at her. She couldn't see what it was but she saw it having a pair of glistening purple eyes. They were looking at her with something she could almost recognize.

Anastasia's breath was out of control as her racing heart tried to jump out of her chest.

"I loved you and you left me." the shadow spoke. "Why couldn't you stay? Didn't you see that I just needed love?"

"I... I..." the girl stuttered, trying to come up with a response.

"You abandoned me." the silhouette continued. "You never gave me a chance. Why?"

Anastasia opened and closed her mouth, no answer coming out of it.

Indeed, she didn't know why she outright rejected him. It was clear he could be a loving and caring person — it was made evident by how well his relationship with Iclyn was progressing until he was broken again.

He wasn't mentally stable but he was always calmer around Anastasia when the two were still good friends. His anger outbursts were shorter and milder, his personality was pleasant. He was possessive towards her but who wouldn't in his position?

Stanislav cared about her deeply and always provided help when needed. He had never refused her, he did all she asked him to. He showed great devotion and loyalty, and even if it was a strange way of love, it was still love and it was immense.

In truth, Anastasia didn't have any good reason not to give him a chance. He was nice, kind, he acted fairly reasonable compared to most other people, and he could stand up to himself and others if needed. He wasn't perfect but no one really was anyway.

"I'm sorry..." she said quietly. "I should have given you a chance."

"None of this would've happened if you did." the reply came. "We could've lived happily. Isn't what you want also happiness?" a small pause ensued. "Neither of us reached it alone."

"Y-you're right..." Anastasia sighed deeply. "We... really didn't."

The image disappeared, leaving the girl alone in the dark room. Finally, she found the switch and turned on the lights.

She looked around and saw nothing telling her of Sirius' presence. Was it even real?

She didn't know. She decided to take a cold shower to clear her head.

Iclyn was standing on the bridge, her ears swiveling around and her eyes scanning the surroundings. Her head was low, maw almost touching the hilt of the sword she was bearing.

She could hear something in the mist. Ghastly moans, whispers, and other different and quiet sounds she couldn't identify. They grew closer as she went forward, and every ten meters she stopped to listen more closely.

After making sure everything was still fine, the pegasus continued moving forward, her hooves clicking against the bricks of the bridge.

She had been walking for some time but the bridge seemed to have no end. It was gray stone and gray bricks time and time again, making Iclyn doubt that she was actually moving forward. The fog was thick around her, preventing her from taking off and trying to see the end of the bridge.

Suddenly, a cloaked figure appeared before Iclyn. The pegasus stopped and cautiously inspected the figure with her eyes.

"You don't need to go there." it spoke in a feminine voice.

"...Why?" Iclyn asked after some hesitation.

"The other side of the bridge is dark and cold, full of monster created from the depths of a troubled mind." the figure explained. "You will find nothing but ruins, nothing but hopelessness and constant depression. Turn around while you still can."

"I'm not going to abandon Sirius." the pegasus replied firmly. "Whom would I be if I abandoned the one I love?"

"I hope you won't regret this decision." the cloaked figure replied, and then faded into the mist, disappearing with a quiet sigh.

Iclyn's frown deepened but she continued into the mist. Her body became more tense as she prepared for what she didn't expect. After all, she didn't know what to expect.

She continued to walk for what seemed like hours. Suddenly, a ghastly moan sounded loudly, making Iclyn stop and look around with the sword drawn out. She assumed a fighting stance and prepared herself for a battle.

Out of the mist, a creature shambled towards her. It bore a vaguely humanoid appearance but was at least four times as big as Iclyn, towering above her. The creature had many pieces of metal jutting out of its deformed, slouched body. Its hideous face was twisted and warped into a mess of pale flesh, blood, and bone. The only feature it had was a bright-green eye, which was looking at Iclyn without emotions like if it didn't even belong to the creature.

In one of its hands, the creature held a big deformed bar of steel, dragging it across the bricks of the bridge.

Once their eyes connected, the creature emitted a heart-piercing, deafening scream, followed by a series of sobs and moans as it grabbed the steel bar with two hands.

https://youtu.be/2zmqRi8di_M

The creature continued shambling towards the pegasus, groaning as it twitched slightly in its broken movements. With a loud grunt, the creature swung the piece of steel. Iclyn dodged it in time by dashing sideways. The creature swept along the ground, but the pegasus flew up into the air, avoiding the strike.

Iclyn charged, attempting to fly past the nightmarish creature. It wailed as a child not wanting their favorite toy to be taken away. The pegasus forced herself to stop and think for just a moment. Something told her she had to fight it if she wanted to succeed in saving Sirius.

Swiftly, she tried to pierce the eye of the creature, but it managed to raise its hand in time to block the hit. The sword barely scratched the skin of the creature. Before it could grab Iclyn, she flew up even higher.

Her mind was working on how to defeat the enemy in her way. Obviously, it would be hard considering that its skin was tough enough to resist steel. She couldn't let go of the sword either, hoping it would strike some vital part of the monster as she dropped it or tried to throw it. Without a weapon, her hooves would be no match for the strength the creature possessed. Nothing she could physically do would hurt it anyway. She needed something, and a single rusty blade might not be enough for it.

However, she must do something, she must act swiftly and precisely. She flew around the creature, looking for any weak spots as it swung its steel bar, trying to hit the pegasus. She evaded the hits, still looking for an opening to use for her benefit. She had no advantage but speed and agility, something the hulking creature obviously lacked.

Seeing none, Iclyn decided to take a huge risk. She flew down and landed on the creature's head, moving as fast as she possibly could, watching out for danger. Before its hand could grab her, she stabbed through the eye, making the creature roar in pain and attempt to shake the pegasus off.

It stumbled, losing its footing. Iclyn took off immediately, not bothering with pulling out the sword.

The creature flailed wildly before stumbling and falling off of the bridge right into the flames, its screams soon fading away.

It was a brief fight but the pegasus felt drained and tired. The mist in front of her began to disappear, revealing a forest of dead trees, dry leaves littering the ground. A car was parked near the bridge, one of its doors wide open, its lights flickering, beckoning Iclyn.

Before doing anything, she landed near the car and looked around. She could see nothing behind the forest, and only a lone asphalt road was going through it, just a few street lights present. The sky was hidden behind dark clouds, distant cracks of thunder could be heard. A drizzle was coming from the clouds, forming the omnipresent mist.

Iclyn sat down on the ground, feeling her heart pounding in the aftermath of the fight. She knew she could've died if she made even the slightest mistake. However, the fight seemed too easy.

The question was, what should Iclyn expect next?

Author's Notes:

What do you think about the drawing and the music?

Chapter 12: The Car

People deal with problems in many different ways. Problems appear almost everyday: some are short-term, others last for a while. A variety of methods can be used to solve them. The right one would be approaching a problem, figuring out what it truly is, and then one must find out what caused it. When the understanding comes, so does the way to solve it. Any problem can be solved that way, but it can be either easy or hard, depending on the scale and importance of said problem.

The easier way of solving problems isn't actually solving them. It's ignoring them, running away from them, hiding from them. Many people do it in hope that problems will vanish by themselves and never return. These people have a child's mentality — if I can't see them, they don't exist. However, it is almost never the case. In fact, it's completely false most of the times.

Problems stay. If the first one isn't solved, the second one gets stacked on top of it, amplifying both. Then the pile of troubles grows and grows until it collapses under its own weight, often crushing a person holding it. No one can ignore problems for long, especially if they are significant or personal. Hiding from them never solves problems.

However, people often ignore it and hope. Hope isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if it's a blind hope, then it will only get worse and worse until either the person realizes their fault or until they are broken by the weight they couldn't possibly carry.

Searching for solutions that help understand and realize the problem is the right way to deal with what life throws at you constantly. Life is always a series of problems in need of solutions, and ignoring life is simply impossible.

Problems must be solved. Sometimes, it can't be done alone.

Sirius opened his eyes. He was standing in the middle of an immense field. It was dry, deep cracks running along its brown surface. The skies were a dull gray color with a tint of red, and nothing could be seen beyond the ground or the sky. Only tall, dark columns were standing in line by pairs, their tops disappearing into the clouds above. Everything was silent, not even the wind was blowing.

The former human could hear his own heart beating and air coming in and out of his nose. He carefully took a step forward, dry dirt and sand crunching under his hooves. He stopped and looked around once more. Nothing changed, and he was still alone in the strange land.

His weak form shuddered as a horrible chill ran down his spine. He felt as if something very important disappeared, leaving him completely vulnerable, open to attacks. He frantically looked around but saw no danger.

He inhaled sharply only to regret it immediately as a coughing fit hit him, making his eyes water as he got out the dry air out of his body. The fit lasted for about a minute until everything subsided and Sirius was able to think and see clearly.

Ashes were falling from the sky, coating the ground in gray. Something very bad happened, Sirius could feel it. But what? He had a faint understanding but it was evading him, slipping out of his grip, mocking him for his disability to comprehend the situation.

Suddenly, chains erupted from the ground and wrapped around Sirius, going through his body, making him scream in pain beyond agonizing. He was pulled down, and no matter how much he struggled he couldn't do anything against the chains as they bit into his skin, drawing blood.

He let out a pained scream, and he screamed until he was forcibly pulled down into the dry ground, which closed above him.

And the silence reigned again.

Iclyn looked around. She swore she had heard something coming from somewhere. She couldn't understand what it was but it made her shudder and sweat extensively, her heartbeat increasing. Something happened but the pegasus had no idea what it was. Maybe another monster?

She calmed down in about a minute, bringing her body back under control. No one was attacking her, silence replaced all sounds again, leaving Iclyn's ears ringing as the swiveled around. She looked back at the bridge and saw that it disappeared behind the mist completely.

The car blinked its lights, beckoning the pegasus once more. Sounds came into focus, her ears turning to the vehicle. The engine was humming slightly, accompanied by the sound of rustling leaves that were blowed along the asphalt road by a chilly wind.

Iclyn shivered before going to the car. She cautiously looked inside it and found it devoid of any passengers or even a driver. There was something lying on the back seat, however. It was a single chocolate bar in its original wrapping, still unopened.

Hesitating slightly, Iclyn got inside the car and closed the door. She settled comfortably on the rather large back seat, and inspected the chocolate bar. Its wrapping was dull and had no writing but a simple 'Chocolate Bar'.

Iclyn curiously unwrapped the bar. The chocolate was of usual brown, nothing special or noticeable about it.

Something made the pegasus take a bite of it, and suddenly the piece of chocolate in her maw exploded in taste, making her moan lowly as it melted on her tongue. She immediately took a large chunk out of the bar and felt her energy being replenished.

Just a few moments later, she was swallowing the rest of the chocolate bar, throwing its wrapping under the seat. She sighed in satisfaction, her fatigue and overall tiredness gone. Her wings fluttered slightly, her muscles flexing, making heady to take off and fly.

The car's engine became louder and the vehicle began to move. Without a driver, without anyone but Iclyn inside. The steering wheel turned, making the car ride onto the road and into the unknown.

The pegasus looked out of the window: the trees were passing by, but nothing else was happening. A milky substance seemed to envelop everything around her in a certain radius, making it impossible to see beyond it.

Thoughts creeped inside Iclyn's mind as the car softly went. She found out that Sirius committed murder at the age of twelve. His past self hadn't told her the age but she somehow knew it. It was the same age as Iclyn's. It made her shudder, a chill running through her — she wouldn't be able to kill like that in his place.

She wasn't him. He had been having problems since his early childhood, and Iclyn was just a normal pegasus like many others around her. Sirius had gone through the pain of losing his father in a gruesome accident while Iclyn had a happy and whole family. She understood that her life couldn't possibly make her into someone like Sirius.

From what little she had seen, she assumed that he used to have a loving family. Losing a half of it would be enough to make anyone stumble. Having psychological issues since birth, Sirius fell very easily.

Suddenly, Iclyn heard a click. She looked at the dashboard of the car and saw that a new light was glowing. A soft, ethereal song started to play. Gentle, comforting, a song that puts babies to sleep. No words, no instruments, just calm that couldn't be explained in words. Like a music from entirely different world, a whole new universe, incomprehensible and yet speaking so much.

Iclyn yawned, her eyelids growing heavy. She didn't know if she wanted to fall asleep or not but the desire to rest grew, quickly overpowering her. To the soft hum of the engine and music playing from the speakers, the pegasus finally closed her eyes, her form relaxing completely as she went to the land of her own dreams.

Flying through her own mind, she rested. Warmth and comfort encompassed her in an embrace unlike any other.

She heard her name being called. She opened her eyes slightly and saw Sirius. He was standing in front of her, looking at her with a sad smile. However, something seemed off. His eyes were glowing in a way that Iclyn couldn't find friendly or welcoming.

"Iclyn, please, leave me be." Sirius said gently. "With all the kindness you have, all the compassion you possess, you need someone better than me. Someone not so broken as me. You can't fix me, Iclyn." he spoke softly. "I have been through many things, one of which you already know. There is no going back, and it would be best for both of us to separate. I love you but I understand we can't be together." he sighed. "We're incompatible."

Iclyn looked at him wide-eyed. Were his words true, should she leave him for someone better? She knew that murder was always something not many people had in their head to do. Sirius had suffered a lot, and maybe it would indeed be better to let him die, let him be released from his pain.

Something was wrong. The pegasus couldn't say what it was but she was sure something wasn't right. Sirius wanted to be helped, why would he change his mind? It didn't seem logical at all.

Maybe it was just an illusion. A defense mechanism of his mind to prevent others from entering. But what if his words were indeed true? It could be either way, after all.

Iclyn fidgeted in place, trying to come up with an answer. Sirius' eyes were piercing her, and even a warm smile on his face didn't help her feel more relaxed. His posture seemed relaxed but at the same time predatory. It wasn't unlike Sirius but Iclyn remembered he was always more relaxed around her. It didn't look that way at the moment, however.

"You don't have to die, Sirius." she said reluctantly but her voice was growing with confidence as she figured out what she needed to say. "Maybe you think you do, but it's not true at all. Think about all the ponies you've helped. You're a hero. You're welcome among us. What is inside here, that's the problem." she tapped her head. "You've done much good. Even if you did bad things in your past, you have already redeemed yourself by saving the entire country. Please, come back to us."

Sirius' face twitched, almost forming into a frown. Iclyn immediately noticed it and realized she couldn't stop. She knew that look. While it was his own, it only represented a part of him, a part that wished nothing but to die and bring down others with it.

"I won't go anywhere without you." she stated firmly, watching as the smile he bore began to falter.

"Your... choice." he managed to reply, his tone gaining a malicious note as his ear twitched slightly. "Don't regret it later."

Iclyn's vision blurred, shapes becoming blobs, and only two purple dots continued to glow, creeping into her very soul. She felt as if she was underwater, the sounds around her becoming muffled.

The pegasus blinked, and immediately found herself back inside the car. The engine was running, Nadezhda was at the steering wheel. Her son Stanislav was in the back with Iclyn, sleeping calmly.

She could see that his mother became completely gray in her hair, and a barely noticeable streak of the same color could be seen in Stanislav's. A pink scar stretched from the bridge of his nose to the left eye, his first scar. His hair was pretty long at that point, almost reaching to his shoulders. He wore black clothes as usual, an unzipped dark-blue jacket on top of them. There was a medium-sized backpack on his lap, packed full of different things.

Iclyn sighed softly, looking at the poor boy. He had already endured a lot at such a young age, but she was sure more was to come. After all, one bad day isn't always enough to break a person, and Stanislav was a proof to that. He wasn't twelve, fourteen, or even sixteen when he died. He couldn't have kept himself alive for six years until becoming eighteen if his father's tragic death was the only thing pushing him to the edge.

He still had his mother and most of himself. Already cracked, he was one step closer to his first suicide. Fatherless at a young age, murdering a man, all of it couldn't be just shrugged off by anyone unless they were a psychopath, who by definition don't have regrets or concerns about people surrounding them.

Iclyn knew Sirius wasn't one, and so he could still be helped. However, she must find the source of his problems first. See them, understand them, and figure out how to help him solve them and move on.

She knew she might not succeed, but hope drove her forward. The one she loved was in need of help, and she wouldn't abandon him, she wouldn't leave him alone.

He was alone for far too long.

Author's Notes:

Any theories or predictions, ladies and gentlemen?

Chapter 13: Moving

Stanislav was standing outside of his house, a backpack hanging on his back on one strap. From the bridge of his nose to the left eye a scar was stretching, an old crust of the last of dried up blood on it. He slouched slightly, his dull eyes looking forward, dark circles under them. One could almost see tear trails if they looked hard enough. But no matter what Stanislav felt, his face expressed nothing but tiredness.

In front of him, his three friends stood. Frank, Helen, and David. They looked just as down as Stanislav was.

Gray clouds hanged above the people, light snow falling down from them. The house shone no lights, every door and window was closed shut. Nothing was on the porch, nothing was in the rooms. A truck was standing near a garage, two men loading it up with different boxes.

"So..." Helen was the first to break the silence, gaining Stanislav's attention as he turned to her. "You're leaving?"

"...Yes." the boy replied quietly, nodding. He blinked, removing an almost formed tear.

"Will you write to us?" Frank asked with hope in his voice.

"...Dunno." the boy replied in an apathetic, careless tone. He didn't know if he would talk to his friends or not. At that point, he didn't know anything at all. He glanced at the car, the one belonging to his mother. She was standing there, waiting for him patiently. "It's time to go. Bye." Stanislav said and went straight to the car, his head hung low. He shambled, and almost stumbled once, backpack sliding onto his forearm. He caught it and readjusted it, placing it back where it should be.

His friends were looking at him as he left them, never to return or appear again. Neither of the three knew where he was heading nor if he would write to them when he got there. All they knew is that he had to leave everything behind. They knew of the car accident, and while they were too young to understand everything, they knew it was better for Stanislav to move to a different place.

That way, his family wouldn't be constantly reminded of the tragic loss of its strongest member.

The car bumped against something on the road, making Stanislav's eyes shot open. He began to hyperventilate as he gripped onto the seat, his knuckles paling. His heartbeat like a machine gun, thumping in his chest at a very high rate, adrenaline pumping up his body.

"Stas, are you alright?" his mother asked, slowing down the car.

The boy gagged, wheezing as if there weren't enough air. The car stopped completely, and he jumped out of it. He paced back and forth, trying to subdue his rapid breath and racing heart. Suddenly, he bent and vomited, sweat and tears running down his face as he gagged, and threw up again and again until his stomach had nothing but acid to give, making him spit out from the sourness and the burning sensation in his mouth.

Iclyn blinked, her vision coming into focus. She could feel the emotions Stanislav felt when he left his home with his mother. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt how much the boy was suffering.

Murdering the one who caused the accident didn't return his father. Stanislav felt hollow, empty, unsure. Even the money the insurance company gave his family didn't return his father. Nothing could do it, not even the boy himself.

At first, he felt satisfaction. He felt safe, knowing that the one who killed his father would bring no more problems or harm to his family. But then the feeling left, leaving him with nothing. Nothing but the fear of discovery.

Stanislav knew the police wasn't stupid, and so he expected them to come for him every single day since he committed the murder. However, they didn't. Not when he was in the hospital, recovering from the accident. Not as soon as he returned home. Not a week later when he prepared to move out. And not even when he and his mother arrived to a new home.

It was a rather simple one-storeyed house. It had a fresh layer of paint on the walls, some furniture was present, and everything was clean. The family that was selling it was welcoming and friendly. They had a baby coming on the way, and so they had to find a bigger house for their growing family.

Stanislav hid behind his mother, pretending he wasn't there at all. His mind was in a completely different world as he conjured up different scenarios of how things could go before, during, or after the terrible accident that left him fatherless.

But in the end, they were nothing but pieces of his imagination. None of them would become real no matter how much he wished for it. Nothing would return him his father.

Iclyn watched as he lay on the bed in his new room, staring at the ceiling. Different boxes were chaotically placed across the room, leaving little place for moving around. The lights were off, and only the dull, gray light from the outside illuminated the surroundings softly.

A pistol with an orange muzzle tip was lying near him. Stanislav grabbed it and absent-mindedly disassembled and reassembled the gun, his hands going through the motions automatically, without him even looking.

Eject the magazine. Check if the chamber of the gun is empty. Pull apart the top, pull out the barrel. It was so easy. Just like his father taught him, step by step. It sated Stanislav's curiosity and made him understand what a gun is and how it works. The sense of mystery disappeared, preventing unnecessary incidents.

After about ten times of assembly and disassembly, the boy placed the pistol on a shelf, safety on. He sat up on his bed and sighed. He slowly looked around the room, and then stood up. He went to the closest box to finally unpack his things.

"It's been a while since I saw you last." he said quietly, making Iclyn shudder in surprise. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"W-well..." the pegasus cleared her throat. "It's complicated."

"Yeah..." the boy muttered, assembling a chest of drawers. He used a hammer to make sure the piece of furniture was sturdy again after being assembled.

Iclyn nervously fidgeted in place, not knowing what to say. She could communicate with him again but it wasn't him. It wasn't Sirius, it was a past version of him. She still had a hard time understanding how she could talk with him like with any normal person. It looked like the boy wasn't even connected to Sirius despite him being in the mind of the troubled human.

"You know my father died." Stanislav said, sighing.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Iclyn replied in a soothing tone. "No one should ever go through something like this."

"Not even that man who killed my dad?" the boy looked at her. "Not even people worse than him?"

"I think everyone makes mistakes."

"Does it excuse him for what he did?" Stanislav raised his voice, sparks of anger appearing in his dark-green eyes.

"No, of course not." Iclyn shook her head. She understood she must be careful with what she wanted to say. "I'm saying this — everyone makes mistakes. Small and big, and sometimes they can cause terrible things to happen. It's very complicated."

"But he deserved to die!" the boy almost yelled. "He killed my father!" he got up and walked to the pegasus, making her back up a little. "Do you know how it feels? W-we were going home, and then my father's gone! Because some idiot decided that rules aren't for him!" he was shouting, conveying his anger and frustration through loud words. "And then he tried to evade responsibility! That's not how it works! He got what he d-deserved!"

He fell on his knees and wrapped his arms around Iclyn, putting his face against her chest as he cried. Stunned, the pegasus didn't know what to do. Softly and yet awkwardly, she put a foreleg around him for a warm embrace of genuine care.

She knew it wasn't what truly happened to him. He didn't have her back then, and he would never tell his mother about the crime he committed. He held it all in himself, hid it deep inside, never to reveal. Maybe he cried, but he had no one to tell about how he felt.

Knowing that she couldn't change his past, Iclyn still hugged him. She hoped Sirius could feel her warmth. And even if not, she wasn't about to let the boy suffer, no matter how real or unreal he was. He was still Sirius. Younger, but already broken. He tried to be strong but he couldn't stay like that forever. Emotions are like problems — when they stack up, they can easily bury the one holding them if one doesn't reveal them, lift the weight off from time to time.

After what seemed like eternity, Stanislav backed off and wiped the tears from under his bloodshot eyes. He took a few steps back, not looking at the pegasus.

"You won't tell anyone about it... Will you?" he asked with uncertainty, his voice coarse from the crying.

"No, I won't." Iclyn replied. She remembered the promise she made to Sirius — never talk about him to anyone unless he allowed her to. Until following that promise was dangerous, she would keep it.

In truth, Sirius was already in grave danger but it wasn't because of truth he hid. The pegasus knew he didn't trust Luna or any other princess, maybe aside from Cadance. Even then, he didn't trust anyone but Iclyn.

But maybe it was the problem? She could never know. She only began to understand how Sirius thought, and there still was a long way ahead of her. She had seen so little of whom he used to be. The memories she had seen so far were negative, stressful for Stanislav. Was there nothing good at all? Or did he convince himself that there was none? After all, it was clear he used to have friends. What did they do together? Wasn't it worthy of remembering?

Stanislav returned to unpacking the boxes, moving slowly, his form shivering as if he were cold. His face returned to its usual emotionless state. He put on the mask again, but it could be seen through by looking at his eyes.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul. One can see many things in them. Many people know that a genuine smile can't be made without the eyes. Body language is often a thing many can't control. Just by looking at a person can be enough to understand them completely, figure out who they are and what they feel.

Iclyn could see tiredness in the way he walked. Stanislav desired to rest, to forget the tragedy that happened to his family. She knew he wanted his father to be back. That way he wouldn't have to make his first murder, and definitely not those that followed.

The pegasus knew how easy it was for him to kill the changelings. While it left a scar on his soul, it was mainly because of her that he felt regret. If he were alone, he would feel nothing. No shame, no regret, no remorse. After all, he believed that what he did was right, at least at the time.

She understood he didn't want to be seen as a bad person by those he liked. He always tried to avoid doing anything bad, and if he did — he either hid it or regretted it. He picked the last option only when his deeds were discovered.

It begs the question if he had done more.

More than just one murder. Had he done more? Had he done something worse?

From what Iclyn knew, he could have. While his closest friend, Anastasia didn't say anything about him, he could be hiding much more than he ever could let out even to those he loved. For now, she could only make assumptions and deductions, but nothing she could come up with would be true unless it was in Sirius' mind.

Iclyn decided to look around the house. She stood up and exited the room. Hearing something coming from what she assumed was the kitchen, she headed there.

As she entered the kitchen, she saw Nadezhda cooking meat. She was humming a song to herself as she moved around the kitchen, picking up different ingredients and preparing themselves for the meal.

"What would you like me to cook, dear?" she asked, startling Iclyn.

"Um... I don't think I want anything, uh, thank you." the pegasus replied with uncertainty.

"How about a simple salad? Cucumber, lettuce, onion, bell pepper? Well, some olive oil, black pepper..." Stanislav's mother trailed off.

"If it's, uh, not too much work." Iclyn gave in. She knew it all wasn't real but she decided not to be rude.

"Not at all." Nadezhda replied. "By the way, how's Stas doing? He's been in his room for a long time."

"He's... dealing with, um..."

"...It hit him hard." the woman sighed, stirring the pot. "I hope that he'll make new friends once he goes to school again. He could use some sympathy and understanding, and I'm afraid I can't give him everything he needs." she paused for a second. "I... I've not been feeling well as of late, to be honest. I just hope he'll be able to live his life by himself someday." she turned to Iclyn. "Andrey's gone... Someday, it will be my turn. I want Stas to be ready for it, to take responsibility for himself."

Iclyn looked down, her ears drooping. She didn't want to say how his life ended. She just couldn't tell that nice woman that her son would kill himself later on.

"Well..." Nadezhda sighed again. "We are given hardships to overcome them. I just hope it won't be too much for my boy."

In truth, it was. It was even more than Stanislav's mother feared.

Way too much for one person to handle.

Author's Notes:

As usual, I'm looking forward to seeing your theories, guesses, and other similar things.

Chapter 14: Uncertainty and Fear

No one knows if there is afterlife. Using logic and science, a conclusion can be made that there is no such thing. Bodies rot in earth, eaten by worms, and that's all there is to it. As soon as the brain shuts down, the person disappeares, ceases to exist in mind. They will experience nothing and they won't even realize it.

However, many people believe there is afterlife. Some believe in heaven and hell, the judgement of some god that decides who goes where. Others believe in reincarnation, which may or may not depend on person's actions before death. If they were a good person — they're reborn into majestic creatures or back into a human body. If said person was bad — they become a lowly creature, forever to crawl in mud.

Some people even believe they will travel through worlds or maybe even reach ascension, become above all living, maybe even become gods and spirits beyond simple human understanding.

However, none of the theories have been proven yet. Proving them would be very difficult if even possible, and infallible concepts are what humans can come up with easily. But what if an unstoppable force meets an immovable obstacle? What if an omnipotent being creates something it can't influence? What will happen then?

In the end, they are all theories. Some have deep basis in religious beliefs, others are random thoughts during a drinking contest.

All of it connects with fear of death. Hope of staying alive for just a while longer, and that hope many humans share in their denial of death.

A few people hope that there is nothing after it, for that is all they desire.

It might be even called not having hope at all.

The royal sisters were in the throne room. It was early morning, and the two gathered to prepare for the daily court as well as discuss a few things before it.

"How is Sirius?" Celestia asked as she placed a stack of papers near her throne.

"He has stabilized. He is no longer dying." Luna replied. "Something has changed inside him, stopping or greatly slowing down the process of..." she paused, her eyes looking slightly to the right. "Dying, for the lack of better world. His body was consuming itself for a reason I still don't clearly see. I suspect it is the result of amulet's influence, but I can be wrong." she moved a small table to her own throne, adjusting it just the right way.

"How is Iclyn? Is she alright?" the princess of the day asked with worry.

"I'm greatly worried about her, truth be told." Luna admitted, and then sighed. "However, there's nothing I can do right now. Separating her mind from his can result in permanent damage to both. Making someone else enter Sirius' mind would most likely result in his mind shattering. It's unstable enough as it is."

"What about the Elements of Harmony, sister? They have..." Celestia trailed off, pain appearing in her eyes as they crossed Luna. "No, forget it." she said, looking down at the floor. "They... won't truly help."

Heavy silence took the reins as the two sisters thought, not looking at each-other. They silently decided to continue their preparations without talking for just some time.

Anastasia was sitting on the porch of the mansion, a photograph in her magical grasp. Her ears were slightly down, her back rounded, her eyelids slightly low. She felt cold, and so a scarf was wrapped around her neck, making her feel slightly better.

She looked at the photo of herself and Stanislav. It was early autumn, some of the leaves were gaining their beautiful colors. The two were standing under a tree, smiles on their faces. Stanislav's hand was very close to Anastasia's but didn't touch it, his green eyes turned slightly towards her. His pretty long hair was neatly combed back and put behind the ears, the sun making it look like it was dark-red in color. His smile was wide and sincere, the eyes reflecting his warm feelings. Anastasia bore a crown of different leaves on her head. It almost looked like it was golden, and her hair looked majestic under the rays of the sun.

The girl remembered that moment clearly as if it happened just a few days ago. She and Stanislav were just thirteen years old back then, their friendship going strong for almost an entire year. They were taking a walk through the forest, chatting about different things.

"I have an idea, Nastya." Stanislav said, looking around. "Why not we make a crown of leaves? They look beautiful!" he paused for a second, a small blush appearing on his cheeks. "That way, you'll be a queen."

"Yeah, it will be fun!" Anastasia nodded eagerly, beginning to look around for good leaves. "And you could be a king!"

"I... I, uh..." Stanislav stuttered, his cheeks flushing with colors as he turned away. "I'll be your knight. I don't need, um, a crown."

"Alright!" the girl replied, and then picked up a big red leaf. "This looks good! What do you think?"

"Well..." the boy turned around, and his eyes widened. "Wow, that's a good leaf! It looks like... You know, a ruby! It'll look beautiful in the center of the crown!"

And so, the two spent an entire hour searching for the best leaves possible, Stanislav doing most of the work. After the needed amount of quality leaves were found, the boy pretty easily constructed the crown using his own hat to tuck in leaves, making them stay in place. When all was done, he used his phone to take a picture of them both, together.

Back then, she didn't even suspect him of loving her. However, his care showed through actions, and it all pieced together and made her understood everything. It was too late.

She sighed wearily, putting the photograph away. It brought her pain, especially after knowing that he later committed suicide.

Anastasia didn't know whom to blame. She knew he was bullied, had mental issues, and then was rejected by her. Was she to blame for his state? If not, who was?

She just didn't know.

Iclyn followed Sirius as he went into the forest. Fresh snow was crunching under his boots, his breath left clouds of vapor, and something heavy weighed down his backpack, forcing him to adjust the straps every so often. He stared dead ahead, his fists clenched in his pockets as he tried to keep himself warm.

The pegasus didn't know where he was going. Just ten minutes before that, he had suddenly gotten up from his bed and put on his clothes, heading outside the house soon after. There was no reason that Iclyn could see at that time, but she decided to follow him.

Soon, Stanislav stopped near a tree. He looked around, anxiety flashing in his eyes, but then replaced with immense anger. Fire of hatred rose within him as he hit the tree with his fist, shouting loudly and without restraint. No words, only animalistic roars and growls as he punched the tree until blood was streamed from his ruptured knuckles.

Breathing heavily, he shook his hands, splattering blood on himself and the snow. Hissing in pain, he took off the backpack and threw it on the ground. He pulled out an axe: a large one with a wooden handle, and then he kicked the backpack away. Letting out a roar, Stanislav swung the axe at the tree, deeply biting into the wood. He brought the axe back and swung again. And again, and again, and again. A strike after strike, a yell of anger after yell of anger, repeating sounds of metal going through wood, biting into it like a rabid dog bites into flesh. Tear the chunks out of the tree, splinters flying everywhere. He didn't stop until his hands dropped the axe from exhaustion. With a heavy and shaky sigh, he fell on the ground, all his strength gone.

His eyes were open wide, tearing up as he stared at the treetops above himself. No leaves, just wood in shades of brown. Dark and uninviting, sharp and rigid. His eyes shifted towards the gray skies. The sun couldn't be seen at all, and the clouds were covering everything completely, blocking each and every ray of light. He blinked slowly, his tears rolling down his cheeks. He found calm in the quiet of the forest. He felt warm as he lay there in snow, subduing his breath.

He closed his eyes, letting out a deep exhale, a cloud of vapor rising into the skies. He wanted to continue lying on what felt like the softest mattress, covered by the warmest, most comfortable blanket. A pillow made of clouds, so light and soft. He relaxed, snuggling into the snow.

Iclyn stood above him, looking at him with pity. The boy was already broken. Rage, hatred, fear, sadness, all of it was boiling inside him, and he let it out in the most violent way. A mess of feelings and emotions, and no serenity. Anger prevailed, hatred sizzling inside him, bubbling like magma, ready to erupt and cause havoc.

Stanislav opened his eyes and stared into the infinity of gray. It captured his vision, magnetized him, making him continue looking as if he was searching for something.

"I'm so sorry, dad..." he whispered. He sat up, burying his hands in the snow. It began to sting slightly as it melted on his skin. "I did a bad thing... But he took your life. H-he deserved to die, and you didn't." the boy swallowed the lump in his throat as he forced himself to get up.

He picked up the axe. He tightened his grip on it as rage appeared on his face again, twisting it into a hateful scowl.

"And I hate him!" he shouted, and then started hacking at the tree with a powerful roar.

Iclyn watched as the scene changed. Stanislav was not swinging the axe at the tree but at the man, the one who drove his car into Stas' family. Horrifying wounds appeared on his body, blood streaming and dripping onto the snow, tainting it with red. The man couldn't move as his arms were chopped off, then the legs, and then each bone was crushed until there was nothing left but a pile of bones, flesh, skin, and some hair.

Just like Stanislav's father was in the crash.

The boy stopped, dropping the axe and covering the face with his hands. The man became a tree again as Stanislav fell on his knees, holding his face while he cried without restraint, howling in his pain. Arcing his back, he rapidly breathed and sobbed, his vision becoming blurry with tears covering his eyes. He buried his hands in the snow, crying out in suffering. He was barely able to breathe as he hyperventilated through his mouth, and he couldn't stop.

Iclyn went in to hug him, give him warmth and comfort, but she couldn't touch him. It was a memory, and she couldn't change it just as she couldn't fix Sirius' path.

She could do nothing but watch as he fell into the snow, his fists clenching and unclenching, his whole body shaking as he cried.

Minutes later, he finally stopped. He was shivering, sniffing. He slowly got up, picked up the axe and put it into his backpack that he quickly retrieved. He put the backpack on and headed back to the house, following his own marks in the snow.

Iclyn sighed deeply, joining him.

The wind began howling, blowing snow into her face. She felt like she was being watched.

Stanislav walked and sniffed, his figure slouched. He wanted to return home and sleep. Forget about all that has happened. Maybe have his father back. Have a friend to share the pain with. But whom to trust? He could trust his mother but she was already stressed, he had a heart to not put more weight on her weary shoulders.

Iclyn realized that he needed company. As far as she knew, he latter got it. However, even it didn't help in the end. If it did, the pegasus wouldn't even think about Sirius' existence. She would've never known him, and he would've never known her in turn. They would've lived their lives peacefully, at least more so than they were.

But if she knew one thing, it was this — she was witnessing his depression forming, the basis of it being his anger issues and his father's tragic death.

Iclyn had never expected anything like it.

Would she be even able to help someone as troubled as him? Even then, it wasn't the end. Those were just his early years, but what happened next?

Iclyn believed it was something even worse.

Author's Notes:

https://youtu.be/A5GUZidwIvA

As my own mental state deteriorates after some realizations come to me, I think this chapter is most fitting to present the mental struggle of the main protagonist during his early years.

Chapter 15: Future Love

Love is a difficult thing. From a scientific point of view, it is easy — a simple desire to mate and reproduce. However, animals don't have a wide range of feelings like sapient beings. Humans, for example, can go to great length to obtain the desirable mate, sometimes breaking many lines and performing very dangerous things they otherwise wouldn't.

There are many types of love. Soft and gentle, fiery and passionate, shy and slow, needy and desperate. The type of love a person possesses is defined by how that person thinks, and it in turn is defined by how they were raised, what past they had. Some people don't even care about love much until it comes to them naturally. Or doesn't come, depending on whether they want love or not.

Love is all about support and acceptance, something all being crave regardless of what they think. They might not even realize it until they already experience it. And they like it, both physical and mental aspects of it. It is natural to like being accepted, for all known sapient beings are social and as such can't survive alone for one reason or another.

For some, it's harder to find love and experience it.

Iclyn had been resting since she and Stanislav returned from the forest. The boy was exhausted, walking like a zombie, shambling through the house. He took a quick shower and immediately went to his room, barely muttering a word to his mother and not even eating dinner. Before going to bed, he disassembled and reassembled the pistol for a few times. He also took care of the axe, sharpening it manually until it looked like new. Satisfied with the results, the boy put the two objects away and finally undressed to bed.

He covered himself from feet to neck, burying his head into the pillow. He rolled around for a few minutes before settling in a more or less comfortable position.

Iclyn decided to use the time to rest and think about what had happened. She clearly saw that Stanislav's mental health was already declining. He didn't want to burden his mother with his problems and he was also confused and scared. The murder he committed left a deep scar inside his young soul, making him think about how right or wrong it was. Having no one to ask about it, having no direction, the question was always in the back of his mind, reminding him that he did the unthinkable.

The pegasus still didn't know what to think of it. One one side, he did right by punishing the one who killed a member of his family and didn't even seem to regret it. On the other, it was still murder. Stanislav also protected his family from things that the man could do to them if he was still alive. All in all, the situation was very difficult.

Iclyn closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She opened them and blinked again, only to be surprised as the sun shone through the window, a light drizzle going on outside the house.

"Stas, it's school today!" Nadezhda called from outside Stanislav's room.

The boy groaned, blinking groggily as he sat up on his bed. He rubbed his eyes and then finally got up. He didn't look much better than the previous day, dark circles around his eyes. He got up from the bed and stretched. He didn't bother to put anything aside from a pair of sweatpants. Scratching his head, he exited the room and went to his mother.

"You don't look well." his mother commented on his appearance.

"I'm alright." Stanislav waved his hand weakly. "Some bad sleep, but I'll be fine."

Nadezhda looked at him with worry as his slouched figure sat at the table and started eating. She sighed silently, wishing that Andrey with still with them. She didn't know what to do next and how the boy would grow up without a father. The family had money, but it can't return the dead from the grave.

Stanislav made sure he ate everything even though he didn't want to. He stood up from the table and grabbed the backpack his mother prepared for him. Once he properly dressed up, he waited for Nadezhda to do the same.

Iclyn watched them, her ears down. No matter how both of them tried to look normal and to do the usual things, there was an apparent emptiness, lack of something they both needed. They tried to live a normal life but they no longer could do it, even if they hid the truth.

Anastasia was lying on the sofa, half-asleep. Her eyes were closed but she was still awake. Her breath was slow and calm, her body still, a thin blanket covering her form and yet letting her hind legs be seen.

Her ears twitched as they picked up a sound of hooves against the wood. The ears perked up as Anastasia lifted her head up. She turned it towards the entrance and saw that a familiar pony was coming.

"Um, you're asleep? S-sorry, I'll come later." he spoke, turning around to leave.

"No... I'm not sleeping." Anastasia replied, getting up and letting the blanket slide off of her and fall onto the floor.

"Oh... alright." the pony replied awkwardly, returning to the room. "I've just thought, um... You looked lonely at school, and, uh, I just wanted to... provide you... some company."

"Thanks, Wind." the girl replied, a tired smile appearing on her face, and then she yawned. "I... wouldn't mind company."

"Okay..." the colt said, walking further into the room. "You know... Your Commonlang improved."

"Yeah..." Anastasia replied quietly. A few moments of awkward silence followed.

"So, um..." Wind Rider shifted in place. "How's Sirius?"

The girl was quiet for some time, her ears drooping. She thought for a moment — should she tell the truth? Wind Rider was a nice colt but did he need to know? He wasn't too close to Sirius even though the latter helped him tremendously. With his abusive brother gone, Wind Rider gained much more confidence and was interacting with others more. It was all thanks to Sirius, and Anastasia knew that the colt considered him a friend.

However, ponies hadn't heard about suicide for many years. It was history. They knew it used to happen a long time ago but Equestria had improved hugely since then, leaving many crimes and tragedies a part of distant history.

Anastasia needed to get it out of her system. She needed someone to talk to. The only one who was willing to listen to her was Luna, but she was a princess and had more matters to attend to than personal problems of an alien girl. Besides, there was a big difference between the two on many levels, making it almost impossible to relate to the alicorn.

"Wind... It's not simple." Anastasia began reluctantly. "I... I, um... There's more to me and Sirius. Uh, we are... aliens."

"Uh, what?" the colt blinked in confusion. "That's a joke, right?" he let out a small and nervous laugh. However, the tone of Anastasia's voice told him otherwise. "I mean, uh..."

"We are." the girl said. "We come from other world. That world... isn't nice sometimes." she tried her best to explain. "Uh, do you believe me?"

"I... guess." Wind Rider scratched the back of his head. "I mean, it makes some sense... Strange names, unknown language, and... You know, your, uh, magical aura is shaped like a..." he paused for a second, his eyes looking slightly to the left. "A hand. Yeah, like what minotaurs have." he nodded, looking at Anastasia. "Sirius' aura is a hand, too. Anyone else has just... a cloud of sorts, you know? So yeah... I guess it makes sense that you two are from another world." he shrugged nervously. "Alright, so your world isn't nice..."

"Yeah." Anastasia nodded. "Sirius was bulled when he was more young. And... he got in fights often." she paused for a second. "What I'm going to say is, uh... dark. That is... like history of Equestria. Before sisters, that is."

"A-alright." Wind Rider nodded slowly. "So, uh, your world is pretty bad... No offense."

"None took." the girl replied. "So... Sirius was, uh, not very... mindly... ment... um..."

"Mentally?" the colt suggested.

"Yes. He wasn't mentally healthy." Anastasia continued explaining. "Even though he was nice to me... He, uh, went through bad things. I don't even know what happened to him during last two years." she paused. "And... it was too much. He, um... he did suicide."

"...W-what?" Wind Rider couldn't believe his ears as his eyes widened in shock. "He... killed himself? Oh my fucking..." he blushed. "Sorry, uh... It's just... How? Why?"

"I don't know and I wish I did." Anastasia replied. "So, um... After he did it, he appeared here. In Equestria. He found Iclyn, and, um, adap... adj... Uh... got used to all of this. But he found something that turned over his mind, made him very angry. He thought that all he got was, um, fake. And so... he decided to fight Luna."

"...This is insane." the colt commented. "Fight Princess Luna? What, is he crazy?" he flinched when he saw Anastasia's look. "I'm sorry... But why would he do that?"

"He and her didn't start very good. At all." the girl explained. "And, um... They fought. Dueled. He almost defeated her but Iclyn came in and, uh, stopped it. Oh, he also wore... an artifact that, uh, makes you insane but gives much power. It made him..." she knew it was all in his mind, and not the artifact. She knew Sirius wanted to die, and she knew that the artifact gave him strength and a push. He always had it in himself. "It made him hurt himself. A lot. And, uh, he's now recovering but he's in coma. No one knows when he is awake."

"I... I don't even know what to say." Wind Rider gulped. "That is, uh... He wasn't too talkative, yeah, but I didn't think about anything even close to what you've just said. Well, I did think that there's something a bit wrong with him but, um, I didn't expect this." he paused for a few moments. "But he had done good things to us. Got rid of bullies, protected me... He's a nice colt." he tried his best to explain. "And... It makes me feel... I don't even know how to explain. A feeling of... emptiness of sorts. Like, he helped me, but he almost died. And, um, maybe if I tried to be his friend more, he wouldn't do what he did. That is, go after the princess."

"He doesn't trust many." Anastasia replied. "He never had many friends. Aside from me, I don't even know... I don't remember." she shamefully admitted. "And aside from Iclyn, he never had anyone. I don't know what, uh, details happened between him and princess, but I know he was furious. Now I just wish him to find peace." she sighed. "And... don't tell anyone, alright?"

"I wasn't going to." Wind Rider shook his head. "It's a bit too personal. Though, why not make a party once he's back? He needs more friends. He has done good to us, it's time for us to repay him."

"I think you're right." Anastasia nodded. "But... No one knows when he wakes up. Iclyn is, um... trying to get him. That's why she's away."

"I figured that out, yeah..." the colt paused for a moment. "Well, I guess I can only wish good luck. And... Why not we two do something together? You're feeling down, and I'm here for you. If you don't mind, that is."

"No, I don't." the girl replied. "Let's... watch TV. I've not done that in while."

Iclyn watched as Stanislav entered his new school all by himself. He passed the students, not looking at any of them, trying to blend in and be invisible while in the public view. He successfully made it to the class just as the bell rang. Everyone else was already there.

"Good morning!" the teacher greeted Stanislav as he entered. "You are the new student, I presume?" the boy nodded to the question. "Alright, then. Please, introduce yourself to the class."

Stanislav turned to face the other students, Iclyn following his gaze. Most of them had blurry faces, no details could be made out. However, a few people were more in focus, and especially one of the girls. The pegasus found her somewhat familiar: hazel eyes, dark-brown hair, it all was telling her of something.

"I'm Stanislav Zima." the boy said clearly and yet quietly. His eyes were focused on the shelves at the opposite end of the class. Iclyn could sense his discomfort and stress, she could feel his anxiety, but all was hidden under an impenetrable mask of neutrality and barely noticeable tiredness. Iclyn noticed that the girl looked at him with what looked like interest. "I'm from another city. Call me Stas for short."

After his short introduction, he silently observed his new classmates, his eyes looking at one face and then the other as if he was studying them. He was already making guesses about people in front of him, analyzing how they looked at him. Most didn't care too much and just gave in to the herd mentality, wanting to know what they didn't need to know. Some were judging him, some looked at him with challenge and aggression, and few looked at him with interest. Not much different from his previous school, and so he wasn't too interested in any of them.

"Well, Stanislav," the teacher said, finally breaking the silence. "You may take a free seat."

The boy nodded and headed towards the desk where the girl was sitting. The desk was in front of the blackboard, being the first one in the second line. He took a seat next to her left and unpacked his belongings. He pulled out just a few items he needed and put them onto the desk: a notebook, a pencil, a pen, a ruler, and an eraser. He didn't say anything to the classmate he shared the desk with, not even a greeting. He shifted his eyes on the teacher as she began writing on the blackboard.

Iclyn noticed that Stanislav, while being interested in the subject, didn't write as much as others did, preferring to look at the writings and memorize them, as well as understand them by making logical conclusions in his mind, connecting all the dots.

The teacher turned around to explain something and immediately noticed that the new student hadn't written a thing.

"Is there a problem, Stanislav?" she asked him warily.

"No, there isn't." the boy shook his head, not understanding the issue. He came to study and he was studying. He wasn't disturbing class either. He was the most silent one, Iclyn noticed.

Everyone looked at him, interested in the reason why the teacher told him that. He felt uncomfortable and irritated under so many eyes but he didn't let it show, forcing his emotions down under the mask.

"Well, then why aren't you writing?" the teacher inquired, a small frown on her face. She adjusted her glasses, which the boy noticed and took as a sign of annoyance.

"I'm listening." Stanislav replied calmly. "Trying to understand."

"Understanding comes with learning, and to learn something you must have it first." she replied. "Be so kind and write everything down, boy."

"Why?" he asked, his anger rising. Why was he being called put while doing exactly what he was supposed to do — study? He was giving no trouble, he just learned differently. What made the teacher so stubborn to make him write instead of try to understand?

"If I check later and not see a single word, you'll get a bad mark." the teacher turned back to the blackboard. "So, students, here we..."

Stanislav clenched and unclenched his fists, controlling his anger. He knew that his outbursts created nothing but trouble for everyone. Iclyn was looking at him with worry, hoping that he would be able to stay calm.

Thankfully, he did. Even though he ended up having a bad mark, he remained calm and went through the lesson without a problem. Iclyn noticed that a girl sitting by his side turned to him when the break started. He stared at the blackboard, having nothing else to do. His hands were working on their own, stacking pencils he pulled out of the backpack once the bell rang.

"Hey, Stas?" the girl called for him, startling him. He stopped moving, his hand a millimeter from placing another pencil.

"...What?" he asked in a neutral tone, half-turning to her and putting the pencil down. Girl's eyes glanced at his facial scar which was still fresh, and then returned to his face.

"How's it going?" she asked in a friendly tone.

Stanislav's dark-green eyes widened as he looked directly at her. What did she need? Why did she care? Did she truly care or was it a simple greeting? May e she wanted something from him?

"...Fine, I guess." he replied after a he calmed down a little, keeping his emotions in check. "What do you need?"

Iclyn flinched, feeling like the question was harsher than needed. However, she understood Stanislav's situation — he was startled and doubtful, she could feel it.

"Um, would you mind helping me with an assignment, please?" the girl asked him nicely.

The boy stared at her for a few good seconds. Would he mind? He had no problem helping her but why would she ask him of all students in class? But if she was so friendly, maybe it would be good for him to establish a kind of connection with her.

"I wouldn't." he finally responded. "Um, what is your name?"

"Anastasia." the girl replied. "You can call me Nastya for short if you want."

"Alright... So, what do you need my help with?"

Iclyn understood that it was her. The girl he later fell in love with, the pegasus assumed. It looked like they started out as friends, just like herself and Sirius. She wondered if the events that led to him loving Anastasia were the same.

They probably weren't since Iclyn was sure nothing like the changeling invasion happened in his life, but she had never expected many things about his life. Maybe there was a similar event, she just had to find out by herself.

Author's Notes:

You have probably noticed that a part of his chapter was retelling of Anastasia's memories from Sirius' perspective. There are some different details. What do you think they mean?

Chapter 16: A Visit

Light shone into Sirius' eyes as he blinked, slowly coming to realize himself and his surroundings. His head was aching, his whole body felt tired and worn out. A rhythmic beeping of something to his side was pounding on his head, making him hiss in pain as waves of uncomfortable pressure went over his brain. He focused his vision and saw a white ceiling with a soft-glowing lamp attached to it. He inhaled slowly and turned his head. Pain shot through his neck, making him suppress a grunt. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a few long moments.

The former human opened his eyes once more, his vision focusing on the surroundings. His eyes shot completely open as he realized where he was.

"I-Iclyn?" he called, his throat dry. He felt a tube inside him. He coughed, his body began to shake as he bit on the tube, trying to chew it off.

Successfully doing it with his sharp teeth, he spat out the tube. Rolling to the right, he vomited, extracting the rest of the tune. He inhaled sharply and coughed a few times, spitting out the bile.

"I... Icl... Iclyn?" he called again, his eyes tearing up. He forced himself to return to his lying position. He swallowed thickly. "Anyone?"

He took a few deep breaths and paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He must right his wrongs somehow. Iclyn didn't deserve to go through all of this. But where was she? Sirius needed to tell her the truth. She might understand, might not. But she deserved better, someone better than him. Once she understood how bad he was, she would leave him for good. For her own good.

He rolled on the bed and stood up on his legs. He almost yelled as the sharp pain shot through his brain, making him shut his eyes close.

He forced his eyes open again. He turned to the only door in the room and headed towards it, counting his every step. However, the door opened before he could reach it.

Sirius' eyes widened as he saw who was entering.

"No... No, no..." he muttered, his voice going from quiet and weak into sobbing blabbering. No, no, no, no-o..." he fell on the ground, tears rolling down his cheeks. "N-no..."

"Did you think you were finally awake?" the gravely voice of the Figure said as it closed the door. "No... It is not so simple. It never is, you must know it very well." the Figure walked closer to the former human. "You know how life works. For every good thing, there are ten bad things. Darkness prevails over the light, making the latter insignificant, dim." the creature paused. Sirius was looking at it silently, tears in his eyes.

For a few seconds, the two stared at each other. The dark eyes of the creature into the dim eyes of the former human. The room became darker, the lamp flickered slightly.

"I... I don't want to hurt Iclyn." Sirius finally spoke, exhaling longly.

"You already have." the Figure replied. "You raped her. To hide the trauma, to make it seem like everything's alright, she decided to follow you into the deepest depths. She has already seen your first murder. She is now..." the creature paused, a toothy grin appearing on its pale face. "Meeting her."

"N-no..." Sirius whispered, shaking his head in denial.

"Iclyn will see all those fantasies you had about Anastasia. Every. Single. One." the Figure empathized the last three words by taking steps towards the former human. "You can prevent her."

"I can't h-hurt her." Sirius shook his head. "I won't hurt her m-more than I a-already d-did."

"She will never recover from seeing what you have inside." the nightmarish being continued. "She is just a fragile little pony. A beautiful, cute girl, a loving girl. Caring, supportive. Understanding. The best one you could've ever dreamed of." the grin appeared again. "And you will break her. She will come out a shell of her former self. She will die. If not by your hands then by her own hooves."

The Figure turned around and started walking towards the door.

"You were so foolish thinking that you deserve something better, something more. A friend. A girlfriend. Loving emotions. Positivity." the creature paused. "You are a terrible person who deserves to rot in hell. Shame it's not a real place. But you get what you deserve. In your own mind."

The bell at the school rang, and Anastasia stood up from her desk. She collected everything she used for the lesson and put it into her saddlebag.

The day stretched on forever. From the moment she woke up in an empty bed, through the bland and tasteless breakfast, through the excruciatingly boring walk to the school, through all the lessons, and then to the moment where she was preparing to leave the school.

With a tired sigh, she put the saddlebag on and went towards the exit. Her ears swiveled to the back as she heard a familiar gait coming towards her from behind. She turned her head slightly, catching a figure in the corner of the eye. Her posture straightened slightly, her eyes opening a bit wider and her ears perked up.

"Hey, uh, Nastya." Wind Rider said, catching up to the girl and soon walking alongside her. "I... I've thought about what you told me about Sirius, and... Why did you tell me all of this? I, um, don't really know him well and neither do I know you."

"I just needed to talk." Anastasia explained, her ears twitching and then drooping slightly as she recalled the talk. "I know it all sound imbelievable but it's true."

"Yeah... I have a hard time believing all of this but, well, it kinda makes sense." the colt replied, not looking at Anastasia. "It's just... weird. You look just like us." he looked at her, his gaze rolling over her whole body, pausing at the blank flank briefly.

"Not in entirety." the girl shook her head. She opened her mouth slightly, her tongue going over a pair of canines.

"Oh, I see... Yours are smaller than Sirius', though." Wave Rider noticed, a pink tint appearing on his cheeks because of the display. He shook it off before speaking again. "And still... You're a pony."

"I wasn't until I was in here." Anastasia explained. "I can show you picture of me and him."

"If you want to, sure." the colt nodded, and then the two proceeded to exit the school together. "And... I, uh... want to see Sirius. As in, see how he is now."

"...Alright." the girl nodded after some consideration. "But... first, go to mansion. I need to put my things."

The two continued to walk in silence. Anastasia was lost in thought, her eyes unfocused and her legs working automatically, without thinking. Wind Rider glanced at her nervously, not very sure about the visit to Sirius or his mansion. The colt started doubting himself — did he really need to see Sirius or how he looked like?

He shook his head, his mind focusing. He didn't have to or need to, he just could do it. He wanted to do it because he cared about Sirius. After all, the former human helped Wind Rider greatly, and he deserved some help in return. The former human was in a lot of pain, and some friendly comfort would help him a lot.

The colt couldn't say whether Sirius was his friend or not but he believed the two could become friends someday.

After all, everyone deserves to have friends.

Later that day, Wind Rider and Anastasia got to the mansion. The girl sighed tiredly as she took off the saddlebags and placed them near the sofa. She raised one of the pillows and pulled out a picture.

"So..." Anastasia cleared her throat. "I... Uh... here." she moved the picture to the colt. He grabbed it with his magic and looked at it.

"Oh..." he said and blinked. "Well, um... I guess that the one without leaves on their head is Sirius?"

"His name was Stanislav." Anastasia nodded. "And other person is me."

"So, he changed his name? Why?" Wind Rider asked with interest.

"Don't know. Maybe, um..." the girl tapped her chin in thought. "Maybe he wants to get away from his life back on Earth."

"Earth? That is how your world's called?" the colt paused. "Pronouncing this word seems like chewing something... like dirt. For some reason, I don't know."

Anastasia chuckled, putting the photo back where it was.

"Now I believe you're aliens." Wind Rider nodded. "Well... Your colors there and here are pretty similar. And I know that look... Definitely Sirius. There's also that scar on his face. But why does he look so different in colors?"

"I don't know." the girl replied with a slight shrug. "So... Let's go visit him."

In the hospital room where Sirius and Iclyn were present, everything was quiet. Heart monitors were beeping steadily, the chests they were connected to rising and falling calmly as they breathed. The light was dim, barely illuminating the room from the window.

The door to the room opened, and a figure slipped in. It was a pony-like creature with glossy green-tinted black carapace and sky-blue eyes, as well as hole-ridden limbs. The door closed softly behind the creature, and then it went to Sirius' hospital bed.

With a slight chuckle, the creature looked at the former human.

"Our queen wants you punished." it spoke quietly. "So weak and defenseless... Her Majesty will enjoy it. Let's see what you have..."

The horn of the changeling started glowing, its green aura wrapping around Sirius' head, encompassing it completely.

Suddenly, Sirius opened his eyes and screamed, his body began to shake violently. The changeling jumped back and fired off a spell, successfully paralyzing the former human. His eyes were wide open, darting from side to side completely randomly as he hyperventilated, unable to move. He could understand nothing, his mind half-asleep, half-awake.

However, he did feel something. Something he feared a lot more than the one that came for him or even the one who wanted him.

The chains were pulling him back.

Iclyn felt immense pain. She yelled and collapsed, closing her eyes as tears started streaming from them. She felt like her head was going to explode, burst from the inside.

She couldn't understand anything, she couldn't focus. All she felt was pain, all she saw was pain. Tightly wrapping her in a cocoon, squeezing her, trying to squash her like a bug. The scenery around her twisted, broke apart, tore in pieces, warped, making her the only thing to stay the way she was — whole. A swirl of red appeared around her, cold and harsh wind chilling her body to the bone, making her shudder. The howling filled her ears, making the storm seem alive like a trapped, helpless, and immensely angry animal. Locked in a small cage, it bashed against the bars, desperately trying to get out and wreak havoc upon those that captured it.

It all seemed to have taken an eternity, but in reality, it was just a few seconds. The wind settled down, everything became completely silent, only Iclyn's shaky breath was heard. She cleared her vision, blinking away the blur of tears. Blowing a streak of mane out of her face, she looked up. Around her, a mist of purple-tinted gray was swirling slowly.

With uncertainty and fear, she got up. Her ears were swiveling around, her wings twitching in anticipation of what she didn't yet know. Having no weapons, no means to defend herself, she prepared for the worst. Whatever happened, it was for a reason, and she needed to find it to help Sirius survive and then live. Something big happened, something very important that she must figure out.

She felt chills coming up her spine as she felt a presence. A familiar but twisted. Broken and reassembled the wrong way. Something that she had seen before somewhere, something dangerous and menacing. A lingering presence she felt everywhere since she witnessed the first murder of Stanislav. It was watching her, stalking her, waiting for its chance to find her and trap here.

Iclyn slowly turned around. Her eyes widened in fear and surprise as she saw what was before her. A nightmare, a being comprised of the worst Sirius had to offer. Something like a rabid animal: infinitely angry, immensely hateful.

In its eyes, great sadness, something the pegasus didn't expect. The creature was pale, tall, deathly thin, its face emotionless, its deep-sunken eyes glowing purple, and its hands holding a sword.

"It is time for you to leave." the Figure said.

https://youtu.be/Mc1jkqsxNws

Author's Notes:

What do you say about this new music? It's the theme of the Figure, and also a theme of Sirius' depression.

I also drew a portrait of Stanislav when he was 12. Take a look and tell me what you think. I'm not too good at drawing humans, though.

Besides, I want to hear all your interesting guesses and theories. It's been two weeks of no updates, surely you have something bottled up deep inside.

Chapter 17: Isolation

It is well-known that loneliness drives people to insanity. But why? Why is it that we can't live without someone else to be by our side? Why is it so difficult to be alone?

Because we are imperfect. We have our good sides and our bad sides. When we have someone, they compensate for what we lack. When we choose someone to be with us, we do it because we want to be whole, but no one can be whole alone.

When one is alone, they think of themselves. Memories long buried return, emotions bottled up unleashed, and what was forgotten is remembered again. All the good they did in their life goes beneath what was done wrong. They begin to think of ways they could fix themselves, travel to the past and change it, become omnipotent to bring the change by themselves, but they never realize that they aren't and can't be perfect. They can't realize that they will never be able to fix everything. They have to live with what they've done, but it's their choice to accept it or feel guilty for the rest of their lives.

That loneliness, that feeling of emptiness, being hollow and feeling worthless, these feelings are what drives people to insanity. When they have no one but themselves, they can't break the circle of constant self-loathing and sadness, they can't accept their wrongs and live on. They way try to bury it, but deep down they know they can never do it.

Loneliness kills more efficiently than anything else.

Sirius found himself in a void of black. No sounds, no feelings, no chains, no binds. And yet, he knew he was trapped. Deep down beneath the sea of memories, in the darkest corners of his own mind, locked behind the sturdiest of doors, drowned in his own guilt and self-loathing. Self-hate and everything that comes with it was all that he could feel.

Alone.

He breathed lightly, looking around but seeing nothing. Absolutely nothing, not even himself. He was there, he existed in some way or form, but at the same time he wasn't and didn't. He couldn't understand what was happening to him either. Everything before that very moment seemed like a blur, a haze. A mix of voices, images, sounds, screams, yells, flashes of color.

And yet, it was all black. Lifeless, plain. Empty.

Suddenly, a figure appeared right in front of him, just out of his reach. He was frozen in place, his eyes looking at the figure in shock and surprise. His eyes widened as he took in what was happening.

"D-dad?" Sirius whispered, not believing his vision. He blinked as if it could make the figure go away.

"I'm disappointed in you, son." Andrey replied, his quiet and yet powerful voice pushing the former human back. "Your mother and I loved you... Is it what you have become?"

"I... I..." Sirius tried to say something but couldn't. He wished he knew what to say but he couldn't possibly know how to make his father proud of him again. He knew it was too late.

"Why have you abandoned your way?" another voice appeared, speaking to him. His eyes turned and saw his mother. Her eyes were glistening with tears, her white hair hiding her pale skin. "It's not who you are."

"I'm... I'm not..." the former human looked down, unable to bear the sight of his parents. He knew they were long gone, and yet it didn't hurt less as time passed. He still wished they were there for him, and he was there for them. And yet, there was nothing he could do to bring them back, nothing he could do to change the past and prevent their deaths. There was absolutely nothing he could've done to prevent both their deaths.

And yet, it didn't hurt less to know it. In fact, it hurt much more, knowing that no matter what he did, no matter how strong and smart he was, he could've not done a thing to change the past or prevent it from happening. He could do anything and everything and yet it would all be in vain in the end.

"We loved you, Stas." Nadezhda said, her voice trembling slightly. "With all our hearts we did. We never knew what happened to you, why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell us about what you felt for Nastya?"

"It didn't matter!" Sirius yelled, his aggression rising like it always did in such situations. "She... she deserves more, I could never be good enough for her! She is... she was everything good there was, and..." he sighed shakily, and then paused for a few seconds. "You... you never knew I killed, and... I knew you would never forgive me!"

"We would." Andrey said, raising his hand slightly but not reaching out to his son. "We would forgive you, we would try to help you."

"I am a monster!" the former humans couldn't contain his tears as they streamed from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and dropping into the void. His face was twisted into a half-angry, half-sad expression. He bared his teeth, and yet his eyes betrayed his true thoughts. "I... I am a terrible person. I did... I did something I mustn't have." he inhaled sharply and then blinked, trying to make the tears go away. "I enjoy pain of others! Is it... is it not enough to make me a monster?"

"It's not your fault." the third voice appeared. Sirius turned his head and faced Anastasia. "You were taught how to hate."

"I d-did bad things e-even t-to y-you!" the former human replied loudly, painful sobs shaking his speech. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I... I wish I could f-fix all of this, I t-truly do! Really, I do! I don't w-want any of you t-to suffer! You... you are g-good people..."

He let out a loud cry of pain as he collapsed. From down on the ground, he looked up at those three people standing in front of him. Their eyes were looking at him with pity and sadness, which made him wail in pain even more. Excruciating emotional pain was all he could feel, and it was exactly like someone was squeezing his heart, trying to rip it out of his chest.

"P-punish me, please..." he muttered, looking down. "Punish me! Punish me! Punish me!" he repeated, his whole body shaking and his voice growing louder. "Punish me!"

He sobbed and sobbed, unable to stop himself. His eyes shifted from one person to another, darted between them, but he was never able to look them in the eyes.

"N-Nastya... Why are you here?" he asked his former love. "You... You didn't die. You were still alive! You are still alive... aren't you?" his pupils shrunk as a thought appeared in his head. "No... No... No, no, no!" he looked up at her, and then tried to get up. However, something kept him down. "I didn't want it! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't know, I didn't! You... you killed yourself because of me..."

"Sirius, please." a fourth voice appeared, striking the former human.

"No, not you too!" he cried loudly. "It's all my fault! I... I shouldn't have done what I did! I'm so sorry!" he said as he shook, shedding tears of pain and suffering, but the image of his two love interests was clear as day even through the blur of salty water. "You don't deserve this! Not you, Nastya, and not you, Iclyn! Both of you deserve better! I'm sorry! I... I was never worthy to be with any of you!"

He just sobbed and sobbed, muttering nonsense as the four people looked at him with pity and immeasurable sadness. He lied in the void, drowning in his own painful, stinging tears of misery.

"P-punish me, please!" he prayed. "Just... do it! I deserve every moment of pain! I deserve to suffer for what I did! Do it... make me feel the pain!" he begged. "Please! Torture me, please! Death... I don't deserve death! I deserve to suffer forever! Just... do it, please! I am a monster, an abomination!"

Locked in his own mind, killed by his own immense guilt, he remained, hoping for punishment and torture.

Suddenly, someone else appeared. A few wet steps sounded, getting close to Sirius. He stopped sobbing, his ears swiveling in the direction of the noise. His whole body continued to shake violently, tears rolling down his cheeks.

He caught his breath when he saw who was before him. His eyes widened but he couldn't utter a word or a scream as his maw opened and closed, not making a sound.

Stanislav stood before him. Grown up, eighteen years of age. One could say, he was of age when life truly began. However, he did not look quite like it. Drenched in water, completely nude he stood before Sirius, his mouth closed, his voice silent. Not that he could even speak, and Sirius knew it well. The irises and pupils of Stanislav were purely black, looking at Sirius unblinkingly. Like a rose in the snow, a giant hole was in his chest, blood leaking out of it and streaming down his pale body.

The two looked at each-other silently and without the slightest movement. Slowly, the figures disappeared one by one, fading into the black and leaving not a trace. First was Sirius' father. Mother went soon. Anastasia faded away, and Iclyn disappeared quickly after, leaving the two alone.

Sirius and Stanislav. One and the same.

Him with himself.

Author's Notes:

A rather small chapter to describe Sirius' inner state. What do you think?

Chapter 18: Overwhelming Force

Morals are different for everyone. Each and every one of us grows up with different moral values that are not inherited by birth. When we are born, our minds are like clean sheets of paper, and anyone can write anything down, be it good or bad.

Right and wrong, good and bad, we are not born with those things already in us. We are taught what to define as right and good, what to define as wrong and bad. During childhood, such values are easy to teach and learn, respectively. We are all born with curiosity, we all want to learn new things. That is why we often ask questions that seem stupid. Because we don't know anything, we don't know the answers and we search for them.

That is when our parents, other relatives or our caretakers come in. They teach us, help us learn... or they deny us, throw us away and call us stupid because we don't know what they know. They refuse to teach us, to give us the knowledge they've gotten through the many years of their lives. Without guidance, people become lost and then they cling to something that would eventually lead them to their downfall, tragic as it may be.

We aren't born with moral values. However, we are born with certain instincts, one of them being the highest, standing above all — survival instinct, the instinct of self-preservation. However, that instinct doesn't include killing others unless it's absolutely necessary. We can be killers, yes, but we can choose not to be them. At least most of us can.

Not all of us are born with violent urges that humanity is associated with by many. It is scientifically incorrect to say that we all have inherited a tendency to make war from our animal ancestors … that war or any other violent behavior is genetically programmed into our human nature.

However, it is true for some of us. Sometimes, we are born with a desire to hurt, to dominate, to bring pain onto others, be it friends or enemies. Some of us control it, others let it flow like a flood, and it consumes them in a crashing wave of violent rage.

Most of us are taught how to hate, how to be angry, and how to be violent. Many a thing can turn us into hateful beings, and many of those things are psychologically traumatizing. Some hold themselves together well, others are easily broken.

But in the end, it doesn't matter how a monster was born. Sometimes, it's too late to fix what we are. We can only hope that it's not too late for us to turn back, to stop writing in the old pages of our minds and bring new sheets to start over, to make something different, to make something... better.

Wave Rider and Anastasia entered the castle grounds and were heading towards the private hospital situated there. The girl's left ear was twitching slightly, her body tense. The colt glanced at her from time to time, noticing her subtle expressions and thinking about whether he should ask her about it or not.

"Hey..." he called her after some time of thinking. "Are you alright?"

"...Something is wrong." Anastasia replied, her ear flickering. "Can't say what, but it is not right."

"O-okay... I'll watch out." Wave Rider nodded and the two continued their way.

They continued to walk for a few more minutes, the girl still being nervous and wary, trying to figure out what was wrong. As they were about to round a corner, she stopped, realization coming to her.

"Wave... There are no guards." she said quietly.

"...Dang, you're right!" the colt replied, his eyes widening as he understood. "What do you think is going on?"

Before Anastasia could reply, a voice came from around the corner. The two hid behind one of the columns, shadows covering them. They stood there silently, listening to the steps coming towards them. Soon, two carts and five ponies appeared, rounding the corner and heading towards the castle's entrance. The group consisted of Princess Luna and four guards, and the two carts contained very familiar ponies.

Wave Rider's and Anastasia's eyes widened when they realized who was being transferred. They were Sirius and Iclyn. The eyes of the former human were open wide, spinning around chaotically. For a brief moment, they stopped, looking directly at the two hidden ponies. He let out a quiet gasp, only for one of the guards to cast a spell, making Sirius roll his eyes.

Suddenly, the princess flicked, for a moment turning into someone else entirely. Dark-gray in color, legs riddled with holes, green wings, aqua-colored mane and tail, and most importantly, a stump in place of a horn. A look of pain flashed on her face, a hiss escaping her lips.

"Here, Your Highness!" one of the guards trotted to the fake Luna and moved a small bottle to her maw. She emptied the bottle in one gulp, her form visibly relaxing. She made a few deep breaths.

"He will pay for what he did to me..." she muttered, glaring at Sirius, sparks of pure hatred in her eyes. "Now, we get out of here. I hope that everything is ready."

"All according to your plans, Your Highness." the guard nodded swiftly. "The carriage should be there by now."

The group of changelings continued on their way, not noticing the two ponies hiding. After the steps became almost impossible to hear, they reemerged.

"What do we do?" Wave Rider whispered to Anastasia. "Sirius destroyed her horn! Who knows what she'll do to him..."

"I don't know." the girl replied, her heart thumping almost painfully. "We can't fight all them!"

"We must do something!" the colt argued. "I don't know what, but... Ugh!" he stomped. "No time to waste! Let's catch them before they take off, and... hopefully, we'll figure something out, alright?"

Anastasia nodded, and the two hurried to the entrance, hoping to do something to help both Sirius and Iclyn, hoping it wasn't too late.

Suddenly, buzzing sounded from behind them and the two dropped on the floor, unable to move as they found their bodies unresponsive. Their bodies were picked up, blindfolded, and carried away, and the last thing they've heard before succumbing to unconsciousness was just a few words. However, they couldn't make out what it was before the blackness engulfed them.

Sometime later, the two woke up in an unfamiliar place. Almost complete darkness; gray, uneven walls of stone; hard floor, bumpy and yet smooth; and a cage around them. Groaning, they sat up, feeling slightly numb in their bodies.

"Finally, everyone's awake!" a female voice spoke triumphantly and with great malice, venom in her words. The two ponies looked up and saw Queen Chrysalis, sitting on her throne, a menacing and toothy grin on her face as she eyed each prisoner. "I have been waiting for this... Now, you ponies, you are interesting... All four of you share a connection. Different kinds of love... One is faint, slowly fading away; another strong, full of power; the third one, an uncertain love; and the fourth, hidden and growing love. The table is served and full of different meals!" the queen chuckled.

"Why are y-you doing t-this?" Wind Rider asked, his voice trembling with fear.

"One of you took my horn. Made me a cripple!" the changeling queen stood up from her throne. "Another one... is the reason my horn was taken. And the rest of you wanted to prevent me from getting my rightful vengeance!"

Chrysalis huffed for a few moments, her hatred-blazing eyes going over all ponies. Finally, Wind Rider and Anastasia looked around. In another cage, they noticed two bodies lying on the floor. Thankfully, both of them still showed signs of life.

"I would love a snack before the main course, but now I realize something very important, dear ponies..." Chrysalis spoke again. "Take out the biggest threat first. Now... Sirius, stand up!"

One of the bodies jumped up. Anastasia and Wind Rider looked at the former human. His eyes were blank but filled with fear. No, not fear — terror. His body was tense, his ears flat against his skull. He was staring at nothing as if he wasn't even there. His pupils were small, not looking at anything. The door to the cage opened.

"Step out." the changeling queen ordered.

Sirius was unmoving, his body shivering and sweating.

"Hmm, you're resisting... I like it." Chrysalis said in a slightly seductive tone. Unable to watch it, Anastasia turned away. "Oh, little pony, you don't like the show? Too bad... look at him." she ordered, forcing the girl to look at Sirius again. "Much better. He will pay for his crimes now... I said step out!" she yelled.

With great hesitation, Sirius stepped out of the cage, his body shaking, his heart racing, beating loudly like a drum. Inside, he felt like his brain was squashed under a hydraulic press. It was pressing on him, pressing hard, and yet his brain stayed intact. Each torturous moment brought great pain unto him, making images of the past flash inside his mind, making him want to scream.

But his mouth remained closed.

"This will be so much fun!" Chrysalis laughed, her laughter echoing across the cave, turned into something monstrous, unreal, something that should not exist.

Sirius continued to resist, letting out growls and grunts.

"Stop!" Anastasia yelled, tears rolling down her eyes. "It's torture!"

"That is my intention, little pony." the changeling queen replied in a condescending tone. "Do you know how it's like to have your horn removed? Maybe you will find it out today... Who knows?" she laughed, watching as the girl stumbled deeper into the cage, terror in her eyes. "Sirius deserves to suffer for what he did to me. He is paying the price. Now..." she returned to the former human. "Bow before me!"

Sirius' body shook violently, his breath increasing as his legs started to bend. However, he stood upright, continuing to deny the changeling queen.

"Your love is mine now!" Chrysalis proclaimed and opened her mouth, the stump of her horn glowing. And yet nothing happened. "Oh my, you're not ready to give love... Maybe a more traditional method will ease you? I am your queen now, and you do as I say!"

The former human let out a painful cry, his eyes tearing up, and yet he stood in place, unmoving.

"I will tear you and your friends apart if you don't give me what I want!" Chrysalis yelled at him, stomping. "Maybe a different approach is needed indeed..."

Iclyn stared at the Figure in fear, not knowing what to do. It made her shiver as if she were cold, it made her catch her breath and her heart pound like never before. The drums in her head continued on beating a rhythm, the rhythm of fear and uncertainty. Steady, constant, and eerie.

She had a chance to look closer at the Figure. In the face, it bore a few similarities to Stanislav, but it was something twisted, something surreal. It was him but at the same time, it wasn't. What was it in truth? She had yet to find out.

In the hand of the nightmarish being, there was a longsword. Not just any longsword — a flamberge. The blade was curved like a wave, a deadly wave of sharpened steel. Polished to perfection, the steel had yet to be stained by blood.

"You will not get out of here alive now." the Figure spoke in its cold voice, sending shivers down Iclyn's spine, making her fur stand up. Like with his features, the voice resembled Stanislav's but wasn't entirely his. "You've gone far enough."

"You won't stop me." Iclyn said, readying for battle. She knew she had to do it, she had to fight to help Sirius. "I'm not leaving him alone."

"He is already alone. He always was." the nightmarish being replied. "He can find no place. Not among your kind, not amidst his own."

"I love him." the pegasus said, glaring at the Figure. "I will do whatever it takes to help him."

"You're persistent even after you've seen who he truly is." it tilted its head. "You love a murderer..."

"He needs help. It's not his fault." Iclyn argued, stomping, trying to fight her fear with anger.

"It is entirely his fault. He is a murderer. Do you know how many changelings he has killed during the wedding? Nine. Nine living, thinking beings, all murdered in cold blood." the Figure taunted her, a burning number appearing in the air, only to vanish a second later.

"He was protecting me!" the pegasus yelled, driving her point across. She wasn't going to back down.

"The first step of acceptance is denial." the nightmarish being replied, continuing to taunt her. Seeing no reaction, it sighed. "Very well... He can't protect you anymore."

https://youtu.be/oL2Ci_MR2Dg

The Figure raised its sword in the offensive stance. Shifting the feet slightly and bending the legs, it made it very obvious that no negotiation would take place any longer.

Iclyn could only stare in horror at it as it glared at her, anger and hatred burning in its eyes as roaring flames flashed in them. The sword reflected the hatred and anger, accompanying the wavy and deadly curved of the blade.

The pegasus heard a clinking to her side. She turned her head sharply and her eyes widened when she was what made the noise. It was a longsword, its handle long worn out, its blade without a sharpened point, having it broken off at some point in blade's history.

With a roar of immense anger, the creature dashed at the young mare, swinging its sword downward. Iclyn immediately dodged to the side, simultaneously picking up the sword. Continuing its movement, the nightmarish creature turned the sword and swung it to the right, attempting to get the fleeing pegasus.

Iclyn could feel her fur rustling as the blade barely missed her. He turned to the creature in time to block the next hit. Continuing with fluidity, the Figure bashed the pegasus in the muzzle with his shoulder, almost knocking her off her hooves. Quickly recovering from the hit, Iclyn used her wings to propel herself backward, avoiding being hit and placing some distance between her and her deadly opponent.

"You can't run." the Figure taunted her, changing the stance slightly. "You will die."

With another roar, it dashed forward, attempting a thrust. Missing it, the figure redirected his hit, which was swiftly blocked by Iclyn. The pegasus swiped with her front leg, trying to knock the Figure down. Getting one of his legs, she prepared to strike it but it rolled backward, hitting her with a foot to her chin, almost making her bite her own tongue.

Not stopping for a single moment, the Figure swung its sword again. Missing, it redirected the swing, but the hit was blocked. The nightmarish being continued its attack by relentlessly trying to get Iclyn, slashing and thrusting, almost getting her, but she was pretty quick thanks to her wings and some of the training she had received before the duel.

She bucked it in the chest, sending the Figure flying. It rolled as it landed, negating the impact force, and soon it was on its feet again.

Iclyn breathed heavily, adrenaline flowing through her veins as her heart tried to pound out of her chest. She assumed the fighting stance again, knowing that she couldn't give up no matter what.

"He has trained since he was twelve, Iclyn." the Figure spoke. "He always trained hard, and you are no match for him. I am just like him in this regard, but stronger, without restraints."

The nightmarish creature dashed again, swinging its sword from side to side. Iclyn blocked the hit but she didn't expect a fist to her muzzle. The strike made her drop the sword, and the next thing she felt was steel piercing her chest. She gasped in pain, falling to the ground.

"Do you know why this blade is shaped the way it is?" the Figure asked. "It deals more damage this way. The wounds... oh, the wounds... Beyond excruciating." it twisted the sword, making Iclyn shudder in agony as the blade tore her insides. "These wounds will not let you survive. And even if you do, they will leave you a cripple for the rest of your life." it said and pulled out the blade, blood streaming from the wound and dripping from the blade.

Iclyn lay on the floor, gasping for air, her legs twitching and her maw opening and closing.

"I will not leave loose ends this time." the Figure spoke, aiming its blade at Iclyn's head.

Suddenly, the nightmarish being was sent flying away from the pegasus. She looked up and saw Luna hurrying towards her.

"Oh my gosh..." the princess whispered in shock, looking at the horrifying wound. "Iclyn, listen to me. We will get through this. Don't close your eyes, stay here." her horn started to glow and a warm and comforting feeling wrapped around Iclyn like a cocoon. "Stay with me."

"She will not survive." the Figure spoke, getting up. Raising its blade, it pointed it at the princess. "You won't survive either."

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the wait. My friend and I had a project planned for this story, but it failed, unfortunately. The updates will become more steady soon.

And yes, the Figure is performing just as well as Sirius was at his peak in human form. That's pretty impressive, don't you think? What do you think about all of it?

I'm addicted to reading comments.

Chapter 19: Personal Darkness

Darkness and light can describe the surrounds in a physical way or they can describe a person, what is inside them. Each and every person has their light and their darkness. However, there is no "balance" a lot of people speak of, thinking that if the "balance" is not present then all is lost, destruction comes and darkness takes all.

It is untrue. Some people have more darkness, others have more light, and in some people either of the two or both aspects are absent, the latter being the rarest occurrence.

There are people who are born with darkness and there are people who are born with light. However, these attributes of a person need to grow, become stronger with said person. Some are influenced by the light more than the darkness, others have it the other way around. Even then, many things depend on how a person is raised, what they experience throughout their life.

Many people experience darkness and adopt it as their own, thinking that they don't need light, that it makes them weaker. Others see darkness and transform it into the light, trying to balance it out or overcome it. There are people who strive towards the light but fall into darkness, no matter what they try to do or try to avoid. They might or might not be strong enough to climb out of the pit others dug for them.

Why blame others? Blaming others for your problems might seem arrogant, blind to their flaws, but in many cases, it's not true. In fact, many people hate themselves for being the victims.

No one would ever want to dig their own grave.

"What is with her? You must keep her alive!" Queen Chrysalis shouted at her subjects. A pool of blood was forming under Iclyn's shaking and twitching body. "What sort of magic is this?"

Anastasia couldn't believe her eyes as she stared at Iclyn, her ears folded against her skull and her eyes open wide. Wave Rider was staring blankly at the body of his friend, his own shaking as he fought back painful tears. Iclyn was dying and he could do nothing about it.

Sirius fell to the ground, his whole body spasming as he thrashed around, screaming on top of his lungs. Words were mumbled, no one could understand them but Anastasia could swear she heard... an apology? It didn't make sense to her. Frankly, nothing did at the moment.

The changelings subdued the former human by casting paralysis on him again. His body stopped moving, only shivering slightly, his eyes spinning out of control as his maw opened and closed, the beating of his heart loud and fast.

Anastasia sat down, overwhelmed by the events. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Suddenly, she felt a presence in her head.

"Everything will be alright." a familiar voice was soothing, its soft words making Anastasia yawn. "Help is on its way. You need to rest."

The girl's eyes closed slowly and soon she drifted off to a peaceful sleep. Unbeknownst to her, a rescuing operation was in effect, a squad of royal guards was on their way, Princess Celestia herself taking the lead, commanding the guards personally.

Princess Luna and the Figure were staring at each other, their eyes unblinking and their bodies unmoving. Iclyn was lying behind the mightly alicorn, wheezing as blood streamed out of her horrifying wound. However, the blood flow began to slow down until it stopped, Iclyn fading into nothing as everything turned black, leaving the princess and the nightmarish creature alone.

"At last we meet again, Luna." the Figure spoke, its hands having a tight grip on the flamberge sword, its eyes looking at the alicorn with searing hatred. If looks could kill, its would burn the princess to ashes and then scatter them. "I've been waiting for you to finish you off for good."

"You must let Sirius go." the nightly princess demanded, glaring at the creature, determination in her eyes.

"Who said he wants to return?" the Figure replied. "You are the reason we are here. What you've done to him is unforgivable, princess."

"I've not done anything to him." Luna argued. "I want what's best for him but I've never done anything to him. He achieved it all by himself. You are his darkness, you clouded his mind and judgment. You are the reason he suffers."

"You can't lie your way out of this. I know your kind all too well. You know all about darkness, don't you?" the nightmarish being circled around the princess, staring her in the eyes. "Nightmare Moon... You almost murdered your own sister for the throne, and you dare call me darkness? Well, then..." it pointed its sword at the alicorn. "Show me yours."

Suddenly, Luna felt acute pain in her chest. She kneeled, almost unable to breathe as dark emotions took over her mind, flooding it from the depths. She remembered that day clearly, she remembered when her resentment, her bitterness, fear, and desperation made her do the unthinkable. All the pain she endured, her own sister overshadowing her, their subjects fearing her and ignoring her wonderful night, it all got to her, blinded her, enraged her, almost making her take a life... The life of her own sister, the one that loved her most.

The pain in her chest was a reminder of her darkest times. Banished from the face of Equestria and the whole world, imprisoned in the moon for centuries, Luna endured the pain, she had no choice but to go through it.

However, she had a choice now. She had to do something to help Sirius, to help him escape the darkness. Help him do something she couldn't do herself.

"May it be so, then..." Luna whispered, rising. She blinked, her eyes changing their color, their pupils becoming slit. Fangs peeked out of her mouth, her mane turning into a mass of stars and cosmic dust. "Fight fire with fire..." her heavy gaze fell on the Figure, the fire of determination in them. The Figure watched her with both interest and a hint of fear, the grip on its flamberge sword as tight as ever, the blade ready to be used. The princess inhaled deeply, and then said: "And darkness with darkness."

https://youtu.be/1BwcoSDQH0Q

Luna's horn started glowing, a greatsword appeared out of nowhere. Stars appeared around her, the whole cosmos backing her up. Her blade of black steel absorbed the light and yet gave some back, reflecting it, just like the moon.

The princess charged, propelling herself forward with her wings, pointing her sword at the Figure. It dodged and then swung its own sword, trying to get the princess. She blocked the hit, turning to face the nightmarish being. She redirected her opponent's blow away from her and struck, almost getting the Figure. It jumped back a few steps, keeping its sword in a defensive position. Its empty, glowing eyes were looking straight at the alicorn, its position shifting slightly, its steps light and fluid and yet filled with strength.

Luna was on the offense, her sword raised and ready to strike. She gritted her teeth, feeling the anger building up inside her faster and faster. Her heart was beating fast, her breaths quick and yet deep, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

"Sirius has already beaten your nightmare." the Figure spoke coldly. "I am your nightmare now."

A fierce battle commenced, both duelists swinging ferociously, trying to get the other. Clashes of steel echoed through the cosmos, resonating with the stars. It was no longer a duel but a fight between wolves as they tried to bite at each-other with their swords, sparks flying around as blades clashed, illuminating them like stars.

Luna was completely on offense, barely giving the Figure time to react. She swung her sword swiftly, counting every move, remembering many years of her training. However, her opponent was nowhere near giving up, deflecting, dodging and parrying her blows, making counterattacks whenever possible.

They were equals on the field of battle, their swordsmanship parallel to each-other's skill, making it impossible to determine the victor.

Suddenly, the Figure pulled out a revolver from thin air. Luna's eyes widened when she realized what was in the hand of her opponent. Jumping back, the nightmarish being aimed the revolver at the princess and fired off two shots. One of them grazed her neck and another hit her in the chest, making her grunt as blood immediately started to stream from the wound.

With a roar, Luna charged and impaled the Figure through the abdomen, pushing the creature backward as well. Not stopping, she swung the sword, cutting through the flesh and bone like butter. Continuing the motion, she cut off the firing hand and followed it up with swift decapitation. Before the body or any of its parts could fall to the ground, it disappeared into black smoke, fading away soon after.

"Ending it all is not as easy as killing me by swinging a sword around." the Figure's voice resonated inside the head of the wounded alicorn. "If you thought otherwise, you were foolish."

Luna breathed heavily as she woke up, sweat rolling down her body, making her wounds sting more than they already did. She looked at her chest and saw blood streamed down, staining her fur and the sheets of her bed. Her body weakening by a second, she summoned all her strength and got up, grunting. Stumbling as her vision went black for a moment, the princess made her way to the door. She blasted it open with a spell, trying her best to stay on her hooves. Blood dripped from her, accumulating on the floor under her.

"Guards!" she called, and two stallions were by her side soon after. "Hospital... now!"

"Right away, Your Majesty!" one of them nodded, charging up a teleportation spell. A second later, the three ponies disappeared.

Celestia and a squad of royal guards were right outside of the cave, preparing for the attack. Magic at the ready, crossbows loaded and prepared, swords drawn out. When the last moments passed, the group rushed into the cave, non-lethally taking down the first changelings. Without any mistakes or errors on their part, the group advanced deeper inside the cave until the came right to where Chrysalis was keeping the hostages.

One of the cages was surrounded by changelings, their horns glowing. Their queen was sitting on her throne, overlooking the process, Sirius lying at her hooves. Anastasia and Wave Rider were asleep in their cages, lying down and breathing lightly. It was the perfect time to take all of them off-guard.

The spells were cast, rendering most of the changelings unconscious. The group rushed in, taking out the remaining changelings save for the queen herself.

"Stay back!" Chrysalis yelled, holding Sirius. "Or I w—"

Her words were cut off as Celestia threw her against the wall, effectively knocking her out while leaving Sirius unharmed. The princess finally sighed in relief, her operation successful with zero casualties.

"That's for the wedding." she said, huffing. Then she turned to the guards. "Bind the changelings, extra care with the queen, we don't want her to escape again. Rush Iclyn to the hospital, check if others are alright."

The guards obeyed her orders, and soon Iclyn was carried out of the cave, unicorns keeping her alive while trying to stop the bleeding. Anastasia and Wave Rider were woken up and escorted out of the cave soon after.

"Your Majesty, Sirius is... in an unknown condition." one of the guards said, inspecting the former human. "Paralysis spell and something else I'm not sure of."

"Carry him out, take more guards if you need to, keep an eye on him constantly." Celestia ordered. "Report to me if anything about his state changes."

"Will do!" the guard saluted, returning to his work.

Princess Celestia sighed deeply, a frown appearing on her face. The day was more than a handful. Chrysalis' escape nearly cost lives of innocents. The alicorn could sense something in the air, something very dark. The whole cave, and especially the prison section, was drenched in something disturbing, something better left unknown.

"Torture..." Celestia whispered, fearing that the word itself would bring dire consequences. Sirius, his friends, and his lover weren't brought there to be killed, they were brought for torture. The princess sighed shakily, glad that she managed to prevent at least some of it from happening.

As Sirius was transported, she glanced at him. In his eyes, she saw immense fear and pain. No rage, no anger, no hate, just a feeling of being lost and alone, of losing something very valuable.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered on repeat. "I'm sorry..."

Celestia didn't yet know what it was about but the tone of his voice sent shivers down her spine, making her shudder as if her insides were suddenly filled with cold.

It was all far from over, and the princess wasn't sure the ending would be good. Even without knowing what Sirius or Iclyn were enduring, she knew it had no simple solution. And even if there is one, she doubted it could be good for either of the two ponies.

Author's Notes:

Finally, the chapter is done. Sorry for the wait.

Anyway, I want to hear what you think about the music and the pic.

Chapter 20: Misery

Images, voices, sounds, smells, all of it attacked Iclyn randomly and yet swiftly, flashing right in front of her and suddenly vanishing soon after, not giving her enough time to understand what was happening around her. At first, she saw something red. It was liquid in form and metallic in smell. Then there was something else, something pleasant and at the same time harsh, making her nostrils itch. Then there were voices: one familiar, others not so much, and all of them mixed together, almost indistinguishable from one another. All of it was followed by a constant thumping. Distant and yet close, loud but quiet, it was there at the edge of her mind.

She remembered seeing gray, then white, then a mix of purple, green, pink, blue, all of it passing like a blur in front of her eyes, a slideshow of colors that she couldn't understand or control. She remembered a strange feeling as if someone was blowing cool air at her, making breathing easier.

Then there was the pain. At first, it was acute, unbearable, as if something was tearing her from the inside. Then it lowered, suppressed by a warm feeling she couldn't quite understand. And yet, the pain was there, somewhere in her chest, pulsating and hot as if there was a fire burning inside her, eating away at her and not even leaving ashes, consuming all there was to devour like a hungry wolf.

Suddenly, a voice spoke to her, a very familiar one. It was soothing, warm, and yet full of sorrow and regret.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want it." it told her. "I couldn't stop it. Please, live. You deserve to live, to see more."

"W-who are you?" Iclyn found herself whispering, her eyes opening slightly. And yet, she couldn't see anything.

"It's best that you don't remember me." the voice replied, and then a sigh was heard.

"No, I need to know! I feel I need to... I know you." the pegasus whispered back. "But... who are you? I feel something... You're familiar."

"Please, just forget me. I've caused you enough pain."

Just as suddenly, the voice disappeared, leaving Iclyn alone. Her vision gradually came back. She was staring at something, blinking slowly as the blur disappeared. The numb pain was washing over her whole body in waves as she breathed.

Suddenly, a familiar face appeared above her, looking at her with worry.

"How is she?" the face asked.

"Princess, you need to stay in bed!" a slightly distant voice said.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking and talking, doctor. Her life is on the line, not mine." Luna replied with some anger in her voice, one of her ears flicking.

"O-of course, princess." the second voice replied defeatedly.

"I apologize." Luna sighed, her voice becoming calmer. "I know you are all doing your best to help all of us, especially me."

"No need to apologize, I know how the stress can influence everything, princess." the doctor said. "As far as Iclyn is concerned, she is healing. However, we found some strange activity in her brain, magical in nature. It is almost a complete match with Sirius' brain activity, even though the structures of the two are vastly different."

"It is a connection between them." Luna explained. "It's strange, though... My magic is no longer supporting it."

"From what I manage to understand, there is more to it." the doctor added. "This connection of theirs is strong. However, Sirius tries to sever it while Iclyn continues to hold onto it. It may bring very bad consequences to both. In fact, the colt is already experiencing them..." the doctor sighed deeply, pausing for a few seconds. "From what I managed to gather, he is in an extreme state of manic-depressive disorder, also known as bipolar disorder."

"I need to visit him. Now." the princess said and began to walk away from Iclyn.

The pegasus filly slowly blinked a few times and fell back into sleeping, exhaustion overtaking her.

Meanwhile, Princess Luna was hurrying to where Sirius was at, a doctor following her, trying to keep up with her. Her chest was bandaged, a part of her neck shaved and a band-aid was applied to it.

"Your Majesty, we had to lock him up in a padded room." the doctor explained. "He was expressing very aggressive behavior, rage. He has been shifting from that state to an extremely depressive state, during which he would cry, howl, and bash his head against the walls. He also tried to bite his forelegs but gave up after a while."

"Judging by your words, you weren't able to immobilize him?" Luna asked.

"I'm afraid not. He was mostly calm when we led him to the room but he immediately resisted us as soon as we tried to put the jacket on him or a nullifying ring on his horn." the doctor explained. "Also, during the recent few hours, the paralysis spell was applied to him more than should be allowed. His body could simply shut down if we tried to immobilize him that way."

"I think there is something else at play as well." Luna added, an analytical part of her mind turning on. "Queen Chrysalis is known for her mind-altering and mind-controlling spells. We've banned their usage a long time ago because the effects can be... terrifying." she looked away for a moment before returning to the doctor. "Such effects may include post-traumatic stress disorder seen in... rape victims."

A heavy silence fell on the two ponies for a few moments. Luna was staring at nothing, remembering things that would better be left a memory. Sometimes, she wished that she hadn't seen what she had.

"I... I'm n-not sure what to say." the doctor stuttered, scrambling for words to use. "I'm afraid I'm, um, not qualified to do anything about it. Princess, I don't think we've encountered any case of PTSD in centuries! I h-have studied a few things and, well, there are simply no violent or accidental crimes that would even warrant the appearance of PTSD anymore."

"My sister and I made sure it would never come to this again. However, something slipped..." Luna said darkly. "I will see to it that Chrysalis meets the highest penalty."

"E-execution?" the doctor asked as the two rounded the corner.

"Indeed. My sister understands it must happen even though it will ruin the statistics." the princess huffed. "Statistics... We can't allow Chrysalis to hurt more than she already had. Not all criminals can be reformed, she is a pure psychopath."

"But what will others say? Nobility, common citizens?"

"What they say is irrelevant. Facts remain facts — Chrysalis can't be allowed to live." Luna replied. "Besides, no one knows of the escape yet. No one would even think about Chrysalis' whereabouts. We have a few changelings cooperating to provide necessary cover if word gets out that she is in fact no longer in the dungeons. I trust you to keep the secret."

"Certainly, Your Majesty." the doctor nodded. "My profession requires confidentiality. Truth be told, I will sleep better knowing that monsters such as Chrysalis are gone."

Soon, the two reached the place where the former human was held. A small window was inside the door to the padded room but Luna didn't even look through it, deciding to wait and see Sirius in person once again. She didn't know how he would react to her but she couldn't stand aside, hoping for a chance that things become better — she had to act by herself.

"Let me in." she ordered, stepping closer towards the door.

"B-but in your current state—"

"That is an order, doctor." Luna demanded. "I can handle myself. I need to talk to Sirius, alone."

"...Very well." the doctor nodded and proceeded to open the door. Luna entered the room and the door was shut behind her.

In the center of the room, Sirius was sitting, silently tilting from one side to the other, blankly staring at the padded wall in front of him. Tear trails were visible under his bloodshot eyes, dark circles around them, and numerous bite marks were present on his forelegs with a bit of blood around them. He didn't acknowledge Luna's presence at all.

"Sirius?" the princess called him. He seemingly ignored her, continuing to mindlessly move in place. "Please, speak to me. I came to help you."

Silently, Sirius tilted from side to side, his eyes unmoving. However, his ears slightly turned towards the alicorn, which she immediately noticed.

"What happened to Iclyn?" she asked, and the former human immediately turned to her, terror in his eyes.

"I hurt her..." he whispered, his wide-open eyes staring directly into Luna's soul through hers. "I didn't want to! I didn't want to!" he raised his voice, his body shaking. "It's all my fault!" he cried out, collapsing on the floor, his body shaking violently as he sobbed in tears, covering his head with his hooves. "My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault!" he stopped, breathing heavily.

Suddenly, he leaped, tackling Luna and pressing her against the floor, a fire of anger in his eyes. The princess gasped, remembering the lake, the eyes, and the same look Sirius had back then. It was anger, hate, cold, and yet there was great fear and even greater pain hidden deep inside.

However, he did nothing but hold her down, breathing on her neck and staring into her eyes. The fire died out in his eyes, replaced with immense grief and sorrow. Hot tears of pain rolled down his cheeks and fell on Luna's chest.

"P-please..." he whispered shakily. "Kill me... I c-can't take it anymore! Iclyn... she doesn't deserve someone like me. I am a m-monster! Kill me, s-save this world from me, save Iclyn from me, I don't deserve to live!" his voice shifted to screaming once again. "Kill me!" he paused, breathing heavily, heart beating extremely fast in his chest. "Butcher my body, make me suffer! I deserve it for what I did!" he collapsed to the side, allowing Luna to stand up. He rolled on his back, exposing his softer, weaker parts. "K-kill me, please!"

"Sirius..." Luna sighed, getting up. "You can be fixed."

"No!" he half-growled half-cried. "No, no, no, no! I must die! Like any monster, I must die! Die, die, die!"

He continued to mutter the word, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he crawled away into the corner and curling up into a ball, trying to find some warmth but ending up shaking from cold.

"Sirius?" Luna called but he didn't answer, repeating his desire to die over and over as if it could come true just by his will alone. "I will make sure Chrysalis pays for her crimes. You didn't deserve this."

A few hours later, a court was held in the throne room of the Canterlot Castle. The two regal sisters were on their thrones, looking down at the changeling queen before them. Chrysalis was bound in chains, preventing her from escaping. However, there were no guards inside the throne room, leaving it mostly empty.

"Queen Chrysalis, you are charged with attempted murder and torture." Princess Celestia spoke coldly, her eyes filled with ice. "How do you plead?"

"Absolutely guilty, princess." Chrysalis hissed. "He deserved it for what he did to me!"

"He did what he did to protect those he loved and the state." the alicorn of day replied. "You brought nothing but suffering and misery to ponies, especially to him. On behalf of Equestrian best interests, I hereby sentence you to death." she looked dead in the eye of Chrysalis.

"N-no!" the changeling queen yelled in anger. "You wouldn't dare! Ponies would never forgive you!"

"But they will forgive me." Luna spoke, a small ornate box floating around her. "I am the dark. I help and I punish. And I will gladly deliver this punishment." the box opened, revealing the one and only revolver, the same that destroyed Chrysalis' horn. Luna firmly grasped the handle and moved the gun out of the box.

"No..." the queen whispered, her eyes staring at the weapon in horror as memories of her horn loss flashed before her. She found herself unable to move, frozen in place.

"I will carry out the execution." Luna proclaimed, cocking the hammer of the revolver and aiming the gun at Chrysalis. "You have brought too much pain." she paused and sighed. "Pain that those you affected will carry throughout their lives until their very end."

The princess pulled the trigger and the gun fired, the bullet quickly passing through the air and through the skull of the changeling queen, instantly killing her. The sharp sound of the shot echoed throughout the throne room, reverberating off the walls and slowly dying out, leaving just a slight ringing in the ears of both princesses.

The lifeless body of Chrysalis fell to the ground, a blood pool forming under it. Her eyes were wide but life was gone from them, and a bloody hole was present in the middle of her forehead, just below her horn. Her body was twitching slightly as last signs of life left her, and soon it lay still on the marble floor.

Princess Luna stared at the body, smoke escaping the muzzle of the revolver she had just used. She knew it had to be done and yet a strange feeling of wrongness was inside her. However, she knew it would soon disappear. The death of Queen Chrysalis wouldn't bring happiness to anyone but it would prevent the present happiness from being taken away by a power-hungry psychopath that the changeling queen truly was.

"It is done." Luna said mostly to herself, a sigh escaping her as she put the revolver back into the box and closed the lid. "Done... I will take care of the body. Equestria can sleep peacefully now. I've seen a few nightmares that had her in them. Now... she poses danger no more."

"It had to be done." Celestia nodded in agreement as she watched Luna teleported the body and the blood away. "But what of the changelings? What if they try to avenge her?"

"Most of them were fearful of their queen." Luna replied, looking at the spot where Chrysalis was standing just a few minutes ago. "Without her controlling them, they will find a new, better leader."

"But what of Sirius? He had killed some of their kind before." Celestia asked.

"It will definitely be hard to resolve but we will find the way." the lunar alicorn stood up from her throne. "Excuse me, I must visit Sirius and Iclyn. They need my help."

Author's Notes:

I know that not all people would like my portrayal of Chrysalis, but I decided that she, like in the show, would represent the evil that can't be fixed or reformed. After all, psychopaths can't be cured, unfortunately.

Hopefully, changelings will be better off without their queen. Also, don't expect me to introduce the new changeling design. Those are weird bug bananas, and I'd rather figure out something better in case we see changelings again.

Chapter 21: Shards Of Soul

Agony is what many living creatures experience before death. The dying body thrashes around as it is violently brutalized, torn apart, and maimed by a great force. Such agony can only be described as excruciating and death would be a release from pain and suffering rather than something to avoid at all costs.

But how long does an agony last? Usually, it's a few minutes to a few hours, depending on how the being dies. Sometimes, it can last up to a day or two.

That is the physical agony. But what about a mental one? After all, living beings, especially those with a great amount of sentience, have not just a body but a conscience.

Mentally broken again and again, the psyche of a person dies painfully, replaced with insanity and madness, longing for death as extreme amounts of emotional pain course through the mind of an individual, each time increasing the already unbearable suffering more and more until there is nothing but an empty shell of a person, replaced with something that cannot be called one. A mess of negative emotions, a person suffers more and more until eventual death, if such a release is even granted to them. You can't release your mind without releasing your body first, after all.

Princesses Luna and Celestia were alone in a small room next to the secure section of the royal hospital where Sirius and Iclyn were housed. The lunar alicorn still had her chest bandaged, a grimace of pain on her face as pulsating sensation went through her body from her wound. Her features smoothed out soon as she applied a spell on herself. Her sister looked at her with worry but didn't say anything, knowing well that Luna was far stronger than the princess of the day could ever know.

"How are they?" Celestia asked with worry, glancing at the door and then returning her eyes to look at her sister.

"Iclyn will live. She will get a scar but I made sure it won't be noticeable." Luna replied. "The damage to her insides was big but the doctors and I managed to piece everything back together and start the healing process." she sighed tiredly. "As for Sirius... Chrysalis did something horrible to his mind." she paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "She broke his mental block, she made him do what he didn't want, and worst of all - Sirius hurt Iclyn because of her." she looked at the door. In the small window, she could see Iclyn lying on the hospital bed. "He is very emotionally unstable. I'm not sure we can fix him, make him let go of this darkness."

"Is it that bad?" the solar alicorn asked, furrowing her brows.

"Worse than I could ever imagine, sister." Luna let out another sigh. "His world... it made him into this. He would be better off if he were born here." she paused yet again, finding it hard to speak. "At first, I thought it would be hard to fix him. But now I know that it will be nearly impossible."

She stopped and looked at the floor. A single tear rolled down her cheek and fell down on the floor, leaving a small, barely noticeable wet spot on the floor. Without raising her head, she entered the hospital room.

Sirius was all alone in the padded room as he tilted from side to side aimlessly. The walls that were supposed to be white were comprised of many pictures of different sizes, colors, contents. Those pictures were images from his life, they contained his memories, something he held close and never allowed anyone to see, not even those closest to him. After all, why would they wish to know, why would they wish to see what was truly on his inside?

His body was shaking as he cried, he couldn't understand where he was or what was happening to him. His eyes darted from one picture to another, not realizing that they were not there in reality, just the images of his broken mind. They were just small parts of his past, meaning little if looked at separately. However, all of them contained a bigger picture, they made Sirius who he was.

The first picture was of him and his still whole family, camping in the forest. Stanislav was sitting near the fire, smiling slightly as he looked at the dancing, calming flames. He remembered the scent of burning wood, the quiet cracks of fire as it ate through the dry timber. He and his family were happy, he didn't even suspect his life could go in the direction it did.

The next picture was the car crash that changed the former human forever. Bloody remains of his father could be seen, no longer making someone whole, no longer alive. A man was dying in another car, killed by Stanislav's own hands, blood streaming from the wound, tainting the hands of a once innocent boy. The third picture was him meeting Anastasia, a light in his life for a long time until the two eventually separated, leaving Stanislav blaming himself for the utter failure. Everything else was still a blur, something he didn't wish to see again in his entire life... if he had any more time to live.

"You can't enter, you're not in the state!" arguing sounded from behind the door to Sirius' confines. His ears swiveled slightly, his trance-like state slowly fading away. Who was coming for him? Why? Did someone need him? If so, why?

The door burst open and a familiar figure walked in, limping slightly and wheezing quietly. Sirius, still consumed by his memories, didn't even turn to acknowledge the sudden guest.

"Sirius!" the guest exclaimed, rushing to him. Soon, he felt a comfortable warmth around him as someone familiar hugged him. A strand of snow-white hair covered his sight, preventing him from seeing the pictures.

Why?

He didn't move, didn't look. It wasn't real. No one would come for him and he deserved it. But could it be... No, it couldn't be Iclyn. He had hurt her badly, most likely killed. He couldn't stop himself from doing it, torn apart between trying to control himself on the outside and the inside. He had lost the battle with himself, gave in to the pressure, and now all he could do was cry, knowing there was no way to fix what he had done to the one he deeply cared about.

But the warmth didn't fade away. It washed over his whole body, stopping it from shaking, drying his tears as if someone wiped them for him.

"Don't cry, please... Everything will be okay." he heard someone whispering into his ear. "You are safe. You are here."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. All he wanted to do was to figure out what was happening but he didn't know how to do it. He did wrong things, why wasn't he hated? Why was someone showing him... acceptance? Support? Care?

Love?

Sirius inhaled sharply, his vision coming into focus. His eyes widened as the reality came to him. He could hear the breath and the beating of the heart someone close to him, he could feel the pulse, he could see the comforting white of the mane, something so familiar, so warm and so comfortable, it was almost unbelievable. He could feel it, see it, touch it, but was it real?

"Sirius, please talk to me..." another whisper made its way into his ear. His frozen state slowly melted as he turned his head to meet the eyes of the very pony he held the dearest in his aching heart.

"Iclyn..." he whispered back, looking deep into her eyes. Where was the anger? The hate? Disappointment? Why was there only... care? Understanding?

"I'm here for you." she replied to him, gently stroking his back with her wing, her hoof on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

"Iclyn..." Sirius whispered again, disbelief in his voice. He reached out a hoof and touched her cheek. It was warm, it shifted under his hoof as Iclyn smiled at him. "You... are..."

"I am here, Sirius." Iclyn helped him stand up. "Let's go."

He noticed her chest was bandaged and she was still wheezing. His eyes filled with tears as he let out a sob.

"I'm so sorry..." he cried, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

"It wasn't you." the pegasus assured him, guiding him towards the exit. "I know it wasn't."

As the two exited, the hospital staff was quiet, looking at the two and yet allowing them to pass without a problem. At the end of the hall, Luna was standing, looking at the two ponies in surprise. Sirius noticed her but didn't feel hatred. He didn't feel anger. He felt regret and remorse.

"Princess..." he kneeled, more tears streaming down as he realized what he had done to those that wanted to help him, his purple eyes looking at her with regret. "Please..."

Luna looked into his eyes and saw no evil, no ill intent, just pure... innocence. As if something awoke within him, sprung from his very soul to show itself to the world. She looked at him and saw a young boy. Looking for shelter, afraid of monsters. But the monsters he knew were not under his bed but inside his head, stalking him everywhere he went.

"There is still light in you." Luna said, a smile forming on her face. "Go home. Rest with your loved one."

"I... I..." Sirius stuttered, not believing his ears. "You forgive me?"

"I do." the alicorn nodded. "Iclyn... you are his light. A chariot will be waiting outside for the two of you to take you home."

The pegasus nodded, guiding Sirius to the exit, hugging him close to herself, making sure he felt loved and cared for. He still couldn't believe it, fearing his darkness would appear once again and pull him deeper into misery and suffering. He knew his darkness wasn't gone, it was still inside him, and he hoped Iclyn would find a way to help him.

"T-thank you..." he whispered to Iclyn, who in turn hugged him closer and nuzzled him. "You still... love me?"

"I do." she nodded, the two entering a long hallway.

"Even... even after what you saw?" Sirius asked for confirmation, fearing that it was all untrue, that deep inside, she hated him, feared him, and wanted to have nothing with him anymore.

"You didn't know what to do. You thought it was right. He hurt your family." Iclyn replied. "I love you, nothing will change it."

A small smile made its way onto Sirius' face as he recollected how her and himself made a connection. She did care about him from the beginning, something he questioned ever since they first met. His smile fell as he remembered why Iclyn had to enter his mind in the first place.

"I'm s-sorry for not believing in you..." he said quietly. "I thought... I thought it was all... fake."

"Do you still feel you don't deserve to be loved?" she asked him.

"...I don't know." he replied after a long pause. He sighed deeply and looked ahead. Iclyn, not knowing what else to say, just kept him close as they walked through the halls of Canterlot Castle.

A couple of minutes later, a pair of ponies met them at the entrance to the castle. They rushed to Iclyn and Sirius, smiles on their faces.

"Sirius!" Anastasia hugged her friend tightly. "You're alright..."

"I, um, glad to see you two." Wave Rider added. "Like, not with that bug queen doing stuff... It was harsh, Sirius. I'm glad to see you in one piece. And you, Iclyn..." he looked at his friend. "It's good to see you again!" his eyes shifted to her bandage. "Ow... looks painful."

"It's nothing." Iclyn waved dismissively. "We're all alive, that's what matters. Sirius is back, too." she nuzzled the pony in question. "I also made a decision... I will become a psychiatrist."

"Huh, that seems pretty reasonable." Wave Rider commented. "Don't take me as insensitive, I just... don't really know what to say."

"That's alright." Iclyn assured him, nodding. "Let's all of us get back to the mansion, I think we all need some rest. Especially Sirius."

Sirius was silent during the trip to the mansion, his new home in Equestria. Deep in thought, he watched as buildings passed by as the chariot drove him and others through the bustling streets of Canterlot. Those ponies didn't know his inner struggle, didn't know what Chrysalis did to him. They only knew him through rumors and by the heroic deed he had done for Equestria but mainly for the one he loved.

He didn't know what was waiting for him next. His mind was strangely empty, the usual noise of thoughts gone and replaced with an eerie silence. His memories were still inside him, hurting him, and he was unable to let them go, but his mind was silent. Was it silence before the storm or was it waiting to be filled with something new, something positive? He didn't know.

He looked at Iclyn. She was sitting at his side, pressing her body against his and embracing him with a loving warmth. It felt strange for him. He remembered feeling cold chains of metal grinding against his flesh and bones, eating away at him. But it was all gone, and now he felt empty. He knew the feelings for Iclyn were there, and they indeed were, but he needed to get himself together again.

"Everything will be alright, Sirius." she whispered into his ear. "Trust me."

"I trust you." he replied, nodding. "You see... me. You accept me. I trust you." he nuzzled her, longing for her warmth and comfort.

"I'm glad you are back." Iclyn replied and nuzzled him back. "But we'll need to work on you. No more secrets, alright?"

"No more secrets." he repeated, knowing well that he could tell her of his life. "But... we take it slow."

"Yes, we do." the pegasus placed a kiss on his cheek, making him blush, his soul filling with warmth. "We will go through it together. We will become happy together."

"We will." Sirius replied, returning the kiss, planting it on her forehead.

"I believe in you, Sirius. You can get through it. You don't have to be alone." Iclyn continued encouraging him, feeling her connection with him strengthening. "Would you mind if Luna also helps?"

"I... I wouldn't." he replied after a moment of hesitation. "It was never her fault. It was all me."

"Don't blame yourself for every misfortune." Iclyn said, cupping his cheek with her hoof and looking directly into his eyes. "You are damaged, I saw it from the inside. You can be fixed."

"I hope I can be." Sirius sighed deeply, looking away for a second.

"You can be." the pegasus assured him once again, boosting his confidence and making a smile appear on his face.

There was hope, he felt it. Even if he was broken, he could become whole as long as there was help. A fuzzy, warm feeling appeared inside him, spreading through his body quickly, like fire, making a blush appear on his face. There was still hope for him, even though it would take a long time for him to heal.

But what is a better healer than love?

Author's Notes:

Sirius, with the help of Iclyn, managed to climb out of his grave, at least temporarily. With hope rekindled, he is more than willing to live again. Will Iclyn be able to fix him? What do you think awaits her?

Chapter 22: The Return

Sirius, Iclyn, Anastasia, and Wave Rider disembarked the carriage in front of the mansion. The former human looked around, deeply inhaling the chilly autumn air. He enjoyed the sensation, closing his eyes for a few seconds. He never knew he would enjoy something as simple as that.

Clouds covered the sun, providing a nice shade for those down below, the rustle of leaves sounded across the land as they swirled through the air, carried by a soft and cool wind. One of the leaves, a small red one, landed on Sirius' muzzle but he seemingly didn't notice it. He blinked slowly, taking another deep breath as he looked around, the wind blowing off the leaf from his muzzle and carrying it away.

It was his true home, somewhere he was welcome, somewhere he wanted to live, somewhere he belonged. Iclyn opened his eyes — there were people who cared about him, maybe even more than he would ever realize. Indeed, he wanted to live once again, he must at the very least repay Iclyn for what she did for him out of the kindness and compassion that she had. She didn't leave him in the most difficult situation of his life, she fought for him. He might never fully understand it all but he knew that he should stay, he shouldn't throw everything away like he tried to do all those days ago when he fought Luna. Sirius realized that care could not be faked, and the nightly princess didn't do anything to him. She just wanted to help him, but she didn't control anything.

A blanket of fallen leaves covered the ground, a mare by the name of Flora piling them together using a rake. She hadn't seen the group yet, peacefully humming a song as she worked, moving the rake with care and precision, knowing her work well.

"You don't have to remove the leaves." Sirius said as he entered the area along with his friends, his voice quiet and somewhat emotionless. "They look beautiful as is."

"Oh! Good day, Sirius!" Flora exclaimed, startled a little as she turned towards the group. "I'm, I'm glad to see you again."

"You may go rest." he replied, a smile making its way on his face. While the mare was not too familiar to him, he knew that even she cared for him in her own way. "I will take care of things."

"As you wish." the mare nodded and trotted away, happily humming a different, more upbeat song.

Sirius, not wasting any time, used magic to scatter the leaves around, making them cover the ground evenly once again. They swirled like large snowflakes, settling down soon after touching the ground. The former human sat down on the leaves and looked at his friends.

"Nastya, Wind, leave me and Iclyn alone for a while." he asked softly, avoiding looking at them.

"Alright, no problem." Wave Rider nodded in understanding and soon he and Anastasia disappeared inside the mansion.

Sirius and Iclyn were alone yet again, but they were no longer divided. Finally, they were able to look at each other without fear but with love. Without a word, Iclyn sat down next to her lover, leaning on him. Pain shot through his heart when he looked at her chest that was covered in bandages. Unbeknownst to him, his horn started glowing in a soft, bluish glow, encompassing Iclyn without her noticing it. However, she did feel something — deep warmth washing over her, making her feel at ease.

Sirius' horn glowed brighter as he picked up different leaves, his magic fusing them together into a tiara. His usual emotionless mask fell, replaced with concentration and care, something he rarely displayed. Soon, the tiara was assembled. Orange leaves for the comfortable edge that would touch Iclyn's head, yellow leaves as the basis, and red leaves for the decorations, like rubies. The pegasus smiled as the tiara softly landed on top of her head. Sirius carefully adjusted it so it looked perfect on her, and he was content with the end result. The colors of the tiara contrasted well with Iclyn's own colors,

"I'm sorry for putting you through all of this." he said, nuzzling her affectionately. "Love isn't supposed to be endured. It's supposed to be cherished." he let out a long sigh. "I... I failed to give you what you really need."

"Love is also supporting each other." Iclyn countered. "Don't blame yourself. Both of us are alive, we can figure things out."

"I, um, I suppose..." Sirius stuttered, not sure of what to say. "I just... I don't know." he sighed again. "I... I want to stay here for a b-bit longer, okay?"

"Don't worry." the pegasus nuzzled him. "Let's stay, breathe some fresh air."

***

Meanwhile, Anastasia and Wave Rider were in the kitchen, preparing dinner for all of them. The colt was cutting up some cucumber while the girl rummaged through the fridge in search of something more.

"Well... I can say that these few days were the craziest in my life." Wave Rider said, putting down the knife. "Changelings, all that weird stuff happening... I think I'll have some nightmares from that."

"It's over, yes?" Anastasia said.

"Yeah... Still feels weird." the colt shrugged. "I, uh... I don't really know what to think of it all anymore. I guess..." he paused and then sighed. "Welp, I don't know."

"It will be fine." the girl assured him, finally getting some lettuce and garlic.

"I'm sure it will, it's just... Hard to digest." Wave looked through the window and saw Sirius and Iclyn outside, just sitting on the ground and talking, smiles on both their faces. "They look... happy."

Anastasia wanted to say something but couldn't find the words needed to express it. Deciding not to embarrass herself with her lack of knowledge of the language, she kept silent and continued preparing dinner.

The dinner was spent in a more or less comfortable silence as the four dined, all sitting at the table together, the fireplace crackling in the background, warming them all up as the weather outside became colder and colder, recently started rain tapping on the windows, creating a gentle sound as drops of water rolled down the panes of glass. The wind blew but didn't reach those inside the house. The ponies basked in the warmth, enjoying each-other's company just as well as they enjoyed the meal.

Sirius and Iclyn sat at the head of the table, close together. They both look tired but they were content with the situation, smiles very apparent on their faces. Throughout the meal, they would share a nuzzle here and there, happy to finally see each other. Sirius was especially happy, his purple eyes looking warmly at the ponies surrounding him. It felt almost like... a family. Someone he could trust and be around with.

But trust... he already found it hard to trust Iclyn even though she had yet to push him away. She had seen things that he otherwise would most likely hide forever, and yet she accepted him. How did it happen? How could it happen? He didn't know and couldn't understand. He had done bad things in his life, wasn't he supposed to be punished for them? He had made many mistakes, wasn't he supposed to answer for them?

He could find the right answer. Was he even searching at the right place? Maybe the answer didn't lie within him but within someone else?

So many questions and yet no answers. He didn't even know where or even how to search for them. He wished to know the truth, he wanted to know how things were, but he already knew many things that he shouldn't have learned in the first place, things that damaged his mind.

"Something on your mind?" Iclyn asked him quietly, noticing how deep in thought Sirius was.

"Yes, but..." his eyes turned from her to Anastasia and Wave Rider. "We'll talk alone, alright?"

"No problem." the pegasus filly nodded, and then the two returned to eating.

Many things were on Iclyn's mind as well. She had already found out quite a few things about Sirius she would never expect to see, and she wondered whether there was more. What was hidden inside him? What other dark things happened to him that left him so scarred both on the outside and the inside? If there was more, she needed to fix it, to bring peace to the one she loved. He had done more for her than he would ever understand. Her love for him was strong, unshakeable, burning like a bright fire to protect those around it and dispel that darkness surrounding it.

Sirius was someone she would cherish for a long time even if it meant enduring things she otherwise wouldn't have to. But she saw it, she saw the light inside him being drowned by darkness. The former human fought it with what he could and tried to be a good person, which was proven by his actions when he protected Iclyn from something she didn't want to think about. He saved her and others while almost giving his own life for the cause, not stopping until the threat was neutralized.

Iclyn believed he deserved the title of Hero of Equestria, he deserved the respect ponies gave him after his great achievement of defeating the changeling queen. By doing so, he prevented something very terrible from happening.

After the dinner was finished, Sirius and Iclyn went upstairs to rest, feeling tiredness in their bodies. The former human, with his strength restored after a hearty meal, supported his loved one, helping her move to the second floor. Before going to bed, however, the two entered the bathroom, Iclyn asking Sirius to remove her bandages. Carefully and tenderly, he unbandaged her, revealing a pink scar underneath, which surprised both him and the pegasus.

"It still hurts a bit." Iclyn admitted. "But... it's not that bad."

Without saying a word, Sirius nuzzled her, being careful not to touch the scar as if it could open into a horrible wound once again. Then, he guided her to the showers where he helped her clean herself. He was gentle, using his magic to rub Iclyn's body softly and carefully.

After everything was done, the two dried themselves and went to the bedroom. Sirius closed the curtains, darkening the room. The two lay on the bed, resting by being close to each other, sharing warmth. Soon, they fell into peaceful slumber.

At least Iclyn did.

Sirius appeared in a dimly-lit hallway, its gray brick walls old and worn out, chunks of washed-out paint lying on the floor. At the end of the hall, a simple wooden door stood. The former human looked around, not understanding where he was or what was happening. Warily, he stepped forward, chunks crunching under his hooves. Having no weapons to defend himself with, he could only rely on his physical strength and magic. His horn glowed, dispelling some of the darkness, pushing it away. His heart was beating loudly inside his chest, he felt like it would jump out. He tried to suppress his breath but he felt like it was way too loud, no matter how hard he tried to breathe quietly. The silence of the surroundings put pressure on him, his ears swiveling around as they tried to catch any sound.

With great hesitation, he stepped closer to the door, and he felt fear. What was behind the door? Was it locked or just closed? Was someone waiting for him there?

He took another careful step forward, his eyes staring at the door unblinkingly, expecting something to happen even though he didn't know what it might be.

Suddenly, the door began to open slowly, its hinges creaking loudly. Sirius stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening in fear. He knew he wouldn't like whatever was behind the door, slowly revealing itself to him.

The door fell to the ground, unhinged, a loud thud echoed across the hallway, almost deafening Sirius as his ears pressed against the skull and he instinctively shut his eyes. He reopened them a moment later, and he caught his breath.

In the doorway, the Figure stood, its hateful eyes looking at the former human with burning rage. Its hands were empty, however.

"You can't escape yourself." it spoke lowly, apparent and sharp aggression in its voice. "You are a monster."

"He is not." a voice sounded from behind Sirius, a very familiar one. He turned around and saw Luna standing there, her eyes glaring at the Figure.

"If you only knew what he had done." the Figure retorted, stepping forward but stopping before it could make the second step. "Maybe I can enlighten you? Iclyn knows it... she knows what he had done."

"I murdered before I was here." Sirius confessed in one breath. "I... murdered." he let out a shaky sigh, not looking at the princess.

She was silent for a few moments, her eyes staring at the former human in shock.

"You see now." the Figure spoke again. "He is a monster."

Images flashed before Luna. The car, the crash, a boy limping towards the second car, stab, blood. Each image burned into her mind as if they were her own memories, her own experiences, and her own emotions. She didn't know what to think but she felt what Sirius felt: confusion, anger, fear, and regret. That mix was more than enough to confuse Luna as well. She couldn't understand what Sirius truly felt about the situation he was in at such a young age.

"You see." the Figure repeated, a grin spreading across its face.

Moments passed in silence as the princess turned from the nightmarish creature to Sirius over and over again, trying to make sense of things that were happening and how she would need to deal with it.

"I have seen things..." she began, looking at the Figure. "Terrible things. Sirius is not a monster, merely confused and lost. He didn't know whom to turn to. I can see it... his father died suddenly and he could do nothing about it but to avenge his death." she inhaled deeply. "It is care. There is nothing wrong with it. If someone harmed my own family, I would make sure they would not get away with it, even if it meant ending them for good."

The Figure glared at her but stayed silent.

"Do you r-really think that?" Sirius turned to the princess, his voice quiet and full of uncertainty.

"Yes, I do." Luna nodded, looking into his eyes.

The vision disappeared. The hall, the Figure, everything but Sirius himself faded away into nothingness. The princess felt something within him... relief?

"So... you understand me?" he asked, hope in his eyes.

"I do." Luna nodded once again. "Don't blame yourself for it. A terrible thing happened to you, and you didn't know what else to do in that situation. I know what it is." she looked at him with sadness, realizing that the things that happened to him left a deep mark on him. "Trauma. No one knows how to respond to it. You are suffering from it, but the suffering can be ended, and it is not death that is the solution." she inhaled deeply. "I know you and I started off on a wrong hoof, but... Maybe we can fix it?" she paused for a second. "Will you allow me to help you?"

Silence followed as Sirius stared at her in disbelief. As senses came back to him, he tried to figure out what to say. What would be the right thing to do for him? He didn't know.

"I... I need to talk with Iclyn about, um, this." he finally replied, letting out a deep sigh.

"I understand." Luna smiled at him. "Take your time. Sleep well, Sirius."

Author's Notes:

I hope that Luna accepting what Sirius has done doesn't look rushed or wrong. I believe that the princess had her own share of things she wish to forget, things that she had done wrong in her life.

Besides, who wouldn't avenge the unfortunate death of those they deeply cared about, especially if it's a loving family member?

Chapter 23: Morning

Princess Luna was in her chambers, removing the bandages. She could see a new scar, a round one on her chest. It was pink, standing out against the color of her fur. However, she knew it would soon fade away like many other scars before it did. But for now, it was a reminder of a battle she could've lost.

Someone knocked on the door to her chambers, and the princess unlocked it. Her sister entered, looking at Luna with worry.

"Are you alright, Luna?" Celestia asked, her eyes passing the scar.

"The scar will heal like others did." Luna replied as her horn glowed, her magic healing her. "I suppose we should talk about those that were affected by it the most." she teleported the bandages away. "Sirius and Iclyn, as well as the other two, are alright... at least physically." a frown appeared on her face. "Anastasia was shocked by what she had seen as Chrysalis' prisoner, I will have to work with her. Wave Rider took everything a bit better since he wasn't as close to Sirius or Iclyn, even though there is still a great amount of worry in him. He has something for Anastasia as well, I feel it."

"Could it be love?" Celestia asked warily.

"Not yet, it's probably just simple affection or a crush. After all, Anastasia is unique and she's quite a nice person." Luna explained. "It might grow into something bigger, but we'll see. The most I worry about is Sirius. He... he is in a state I don't think I can describe. For now, he is just empty but full at the same time. He is ready to burst but he doesn't feel it." she paused, gathering her thoughts. "Iclyn... She will be able to help him. She is the closest person to him. Though, I do worry about her. She's been taking it incredibly well but I'm not sure, it could be suppression..." she sighed. "Honestly speaking and without sugar-coating it, it's a big mess that I'm not sure how to solve."

"Luna, you know me, I'm not very good when it comes to things like this." Celestia reminded her sister. "I wish I could offer you some advice but I can't."

"Worry not, sister." Luna replied. "Sometimes, support is all that is needed." she looked out the window and at the city down below. "I'm waiting for Sirius' final decision. I think he will try to trust me."

"Are you certain?"

"Not completely. I feel great doubt and hesitation in him. Opening up to me would take a long time, much longer than he took with Iclyn." the alicorn of the night explained. "The important thing is, he knows he's not alone. He is on the path to recovery. I hope he makes a full one..."

Early in the morning, Sirius woke up. He slowly opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He was lying on a comfortable bed, his loved one at his side, he could feel her warmth. He turned to her and looked at her. Iclyn was still asleep, lying on her side with her face turned to Sirius. A small smile graced her features, making the former human smile as well. He relaxed, deciding against going anywhere. After all, there were things to enjoy.

His memory of the night soon came and he remembered that he needed to talk to Iclyn about something very important. However, he didn't know how to approach this. He had never let anyone this close to him, even the previous person he loved didn't know the darkest of his. However, Iclyn accepted him and was willing to understand him, something he thought he'd never get in his life. He knew he wasn't normal, he was far from it, and things that he had done or the things that happened to him were unsettling, even disturbing and sometimes horrifying.
Sirius had no idea if letting Iclyn even closer or bringing anyone else into it would be a good idea, quite the opposite. He feared that it would cause nothing but pain to the one he loved. He looked at her scar, pain shooting through his heart — he had already caused much harm. He was spreading the darkness and it almost consumed the life of the person he claimed to love so much. Would it be right to expose her to even more memories of his past?

Sirius was so consumed by his thoughts that he didn't notice Iclyn opening her eyes. She yawned, stirring from sleep, slowly waking up. Once the former human noticed it, the thoughts in his mind went in a different direction.

"Good morning, Iclyn." he greeted her with a warm smile and a kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning, Sirius." she replied, nuzzling him in return. "Slept well?"

"I did." Sirius nodded, but a frown appeared on his face. "But... we need to talk about something. Not yet, though." he was quick to add the last part. "How about, um, we... have breakfast?"

"I wouldn't mind." Iclyn agreed, and the two got up and stretched themselves. "But first, how about a shower together?"

"I, uh... alright..." Sirius blushed, not entirely believing his ears. Was Iclyn implying something else as well? And if so, wasn't it too fast?

With slight hesitation, Sirius followed Iclyn into the bathroom. The pegasus turned on the water, and the small pool began to fill.

"I thought that maybe a shower would be too quick." she said, her hoof dipping into the water to check the temperature. "Something bigger would be better, don't you think?"

"I guess..." Sirius said reluctantly. Even though he didn't mind what she was doing, he was wondering what it was all about. Deciding not to beat around the bush, he asked: "Iclyn... is, uh, there something?"

"I just want the two of us to spend some quality time together." the pegasus filly replied. "Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just..." Sirius paused, trying to come up with an answer that made sense. "I... I don't know. I mean. Um..." he stuttered, a blush of awkwardness brightening on his cheeks. "What you've been through..."

"That's why I want both of us to relax." Iclyn explained. "Both of us has been through some shit, that's definitely true." she chuckled and then scratched the scar on her chest. "Again, I don't blame you. What I think is, we need to move on. We learned something from this, and now it's time to look forward."

"You're right." the former human agreed. "But, uh... There's more shit to deal with." he chuckled nervously. "I... I, uh... have some... past things..." he decided to silence himself, knowing he made himself look like a fool.

"I will help you through all of it." Iclyn put a hoof on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "That's what love is, you know. Helping each other in times of need. We pegasi are warriors, we fight for those we love. After all, what else is there to fight for?"

"It all m-makes sense." Sirius stuttered slightly. "It's just a bit, um... unusual."

"Don't worry about that." the pegasus replied, checking the water again. "Huh, it looks like the water's fine. Hop in!" and so, Iclyn jumped into the water, splashing some on Sirius. He let out a short laugh and followed his loved one, joining her in the pool.

Shivers ran down his spine as he went deeper into the water, feeling just how comfortable it was. He allowed himself to relax, warm water soaking into his fur, a deep sigh escaping his lips.

"Perfect, right?" Iclyn asked him with a smirk.

"Mh-hmm." Sirius replied, going neck-deep into the water.

He deeply inhaled and disappeared under the water, reemerging a few seconds later. He let out a chuckle as water streamed down his head, getting into his eyes. Instinctively, he shook his head, sending droplets of water flying everywhere. He sighed once again and settled down, deciding to relax for a bit. Iclyn swam to him and stopped at his side, leaning on him soon after.

"I hate sand." Sirius spoke suddenly. "It's coarse, rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere, but you... You're smooth." he ran his hoof against her fur.

"Uh... what?" Iclyn blinked in confusion.

"That's a quote from a movie." Sirius explained, stifling his laughter. "It had really, um, questionable romance."

"Heh, I see." the pegasus chuckled and the former human followed her with loud laughter. Iclyn looked at him, a smile spreading across her face. She was glad to see him finally having some fun. "Well, I have my own joke!"

Iclyn started swimming away from Sirius, him following her with his gaze. Once she was far enough, she folded her legs but remained afloat.

"I'm a duck." she proclaimed, crossing her eyes. "Quack!"

Sirius guffawed, tears of joy streaming from his eyes as Iclyn continued to quack and swim around chaotically, eliciting more joy from her loved one. Soon, she swam back to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Quack!" she giggled, watching at him as his cheeks became redder and redder.

The former human was paralyzed. The soft touch, the sensation, the feel of her breath against his face, it seemed like something ethereal, something that he would never be able to feel. He still remembered how intimate he was with Iclyn but her every touch made him shiver, his heart fluttering in his chest. It was unlike anything else he had ever felt before. Truth was, he had never had close contact with anyone before Iclyn.

A memory emerged inside his head. It was a warm autumn evening with a slight breeze washing over. He was still a human, his age was thirteen, and he was sitting on the grass near a lake, Anastasia by his side. Both of them were gazing at the lake where a flock of ducks was swimming, soon disappearing in tall bulrush on a lake's side.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" the girl commented, looking at the birds.

Stanislav opened his mouth to make a compliment to her, a thought running through his head: "Just like you."

However, he stayed silent. What if it was a wrong thing to say? It would come out awkward and besides, it might ruin the moment. She was watching the birds, distracting her with random compliments would be bad. But still, in his eyes, Anastasia outshone the birds with her own beauty. Never having touched her before, Stanislav imagined that her skin felt soft and smooth, her hair like silk. She imagined holding hands with her, walking together somewhere, the place wouldn't even matter. He would smile at her and she would smile at him. The two would spend a great time together.
His hormones were strengthening at the time, bombarding him with unknown sensations. His mother was quick to help him understand what was happening to him but it still left Stanislav confused. Being close to someone, being intimate, how would it work? Would anyone even be willing to be with him that close?

What about what he had done?

"Sirius?" the voice of Iclyn broke through his line of thoughts to the former human. She was looking at him with worry in her eyes. "You're..."

He felt something hot rolling down his cheeks. He blinked, confused.

"Crying." the pegasus finished, her voice fading.

Suddenly, a wave of emotions crashed against Sirius, knocking him off his hooves and metaphorically sending him flying through his own mind. The pain, the fear, the anger, the suffering, all the things that he had done, all things that were done to him, all of it came to him at once, deafening and blinding him.
He could be happy, he could be joyful, he could be so much more if not for what happened. But even then, he somehow wasn't alone. Iclyn was there for him, he felt it. Tears of both pain and happiness streamed from his eyes, falling into the water, and soon he found himself hugging his loved one and crying loudly. She whispered comforting things in his ear, holding him tightly, giving him enough comfort to express all of the bottled-up emotions that he was finally letting out in an act of complete vulnerability. He was vulnerable in front of her, letting her see his damaged and weak side, letting her see him. He put great trust in her, knowing that she would help.
Sirius continued to shake and sob, opening his mouth in a cry of pain and misery that he endured, everything he experienced hit him at once, but Iclyn was there. He felt her hugging him, he felt the warmth of her body against his, he heard her comforting, gentle words entering his ears, and he could feel her beating heart. She was alive and so was he. They both had things to look forward to, he knew it.

After long moments of pure emotions, he finally stopped crying but didn't separate from Iclyn, continuing to hug her, his body still shaking from all the mental shock he had just gone through.

"Thank you." he whispered to her. "For all you've done to me. Thank you so m-much..." he let out a final cry, and then a shaky sigh of relief escaped him.

"Everything for you." Iclyn said softly.

"I will... do the same." Sirius replied, not breaking the embrace. "I will. Trust me."

Author's Notes:

I wish I had a loved one like Iclyn. Caring, supportive, and understanding. I've fallen in love once but it was with a wrong person. No reciprocated feelings either. A story like what happened between Stanislav and Anastasia but worse.

So, I wish you all find (if you don't already have) someone who will love you the way Iclyn loves Sirius.

Love helps.

I wish I knew how it feels to be loved.

Chapter 24: Help

Therapy is just a simple world, so easy to say. However, it can elicit fear or hope from those that hear it. It is indeed just a word but it has a great meaning. For some, it is synonymous with help. For others, it means exposing themselves and be vulnerable to people they sometimes don't even know. Letting others know of your weaknesses is no easy task.

Especially when it concerns psychological therapy. Letting someone into the deepest depths of one's mind is scary, weird, and strange for a lot of people. Letting someone so close can be very dangerous and people fear it and rightfully so. There are many things to fear, and being vulnerable in front of others is one of the biggest fears that people have in one form or another. Specifics don't matter because the root is the same.

Sirius was one of the people who would never accept psychological therapy. He believed it would never be able to help him with anything, especially with dark things he kept hidden deep inside his head. How could strangers help him? He thought about it many times in his life and he still couldn't understand why other people underwent such a thing. While Iclyn accepted him after finding out what he hid, Luna seemed slightly hesitant, at least Sirius thought so. He tried to kill her twice and he was doubtful about her intentions. Why would she want to help him? He did nothing but cause her great pain. Why would she want to do anything good to him? He didn't do anything good to her.

He was standing on the balcony, staring at the dark skies. He had already discussed the matter with Iclyn, and she told him that it was worth the try. Trust his loved one, the former human could do nothing but wait for her scheduled arrival. He inhaled the chilly air deeply, pondering on the future.
Sirius was in reality once again, his darkness stepping back, allowing light to shine brighter. If the light continued to shine, what would he do? After all, he had to make a plan of some kind. But what would it be? He never really had a plan for his life. Since he no longer wanted to die, what would his plan for the living be? After all, he had decades ahead of him, and years that had already passed were extremely long.
Would he have foals? Would he make a family? What job would he have? More importantly, would Iclyn stay with him? He found himself inseparable from her, she became a big part of his life and he didn't want to let her go. He wanted to prove to her that she could stay with him and be happy, but how would he do it? He couldn't just force her to stay, it would be wrong, it would be absolutely horrible and even disgusting. He needed to figure something out before it was too late and he didn't know if he even had any options to begin with.

A realization struck him — he needed to get his special mark. He needed to discover his talent. Ponies had their marks, and so should he. But what was his talent? He fought well, and... that was probably all. During his previous life, he didn't find his calling. Fighting is all he could do and he knew nothing outside of it. Cooking? No. Gardening? No. Art? No. Engineering? No. Different options appeared inside his head and yet he could find nothing that he liked or was good at.

He frowned, his ears folding as he realized that he had no talent. How would he get a special mark if he was talentless? Would he need to rely on Iclyn completely? He wasn't alright with it, far from it. She had already gone through many things, she did it all just for him and yet he had nothing to give to her as a sign of appreciation. He loved her deeply but love isn't food nor water nor shelter. It was nothing more than an emotion, a special connection, it couldn't give anything else.
Sirius needed to come up with something to make her life better. He must do everything to make her happy, he had already made her go through bad things he didn't wish to happen to her. He wanted to go back in time and prevent all of this, prevent her from needlessly suffering because of his mistakes, his poor decisions, and his problems. She wanted to help him, true, but Sirius wanted her to have a happy life, and he believed that what he did to her didn't bring her any happiness. He was alive, she saved him, but did it matter when there were thousands, millions of ponies staying alive and being happy, much easier to love and care for than Sirius?

"Sirius?" he heard a voice behind him calling him. He turned around and saw Iclyn looking at him with worry. "Is... everything alright?" she asked slowly and quietly, and then added louder: "You've been here for around fifteen minutes already."

"I... I'm thinking about the future." he replied with uncertainty, not looking into the eyes of the pegasus. "I don't... know.. what..." he stopped, trying to figure out how to say it. "Just, um... us, together... living... All that stuff, you know?" he blushed in embarrassment.

"I'm sure we'll figure something out." Iclyn told him with a smile. "Princess Luna will be here in ten minutes or so. You ready?"

"...Not really." Sirius admitted. "I, uh... we've not been on, um, good terms." he stuttered. "A-at least I wasn't with her. I... I don't know what s-she thinks about me." he looked away. "I'm, um, not sure if, uh, I can talk with her..."

"I will be near you, don't worry." the filly walked up to him and nuzzled him, making him blush again. "I will be there. Now, let's walk outside, how about that?"

"I wouldn't mind." the former human replied quietly, nodding. The two disappeared into the mansion soon after, the door to the balcony closing behind them.

Princess Luna arrived on time and stood in front of the gates to the mansion. She was alone and she waited patiently. Sirius immediately noticed that something was wrong and hesitated to come to the gate. Why was she waiting? She was a princess, she could enter anywhere whenever she wanted, couldn't she? Something was wrong with her appearance, too. With some encouragement from Iclyn, the former human neared the gate. His steps were cautious, his eyes were on Luna, his muscles were tense. A limp in his gait reminded him of his weakness but he knew he could deal with it. Once he was close enough to the gate, he understood what was wrong — Luna wasn't wearing anything.

"Hello, Sirius." she greeted him, looking at him with a genuine smile. Inside her head, a thought appeared. She just wanted to help him, the same desire she had all that time ago when she and Sirius first met. "May I come in?"

Puzzled, Sirius took another look at her. Her chest wound was barely visible, the fur already started to grow on the scar, and he wasn't even sure if the scar was even there. Slowly, he approached the gate and started opening it, letting Luna in. Without the guards, without her royal attire, she seemed almost... powerless? He knew she was an alicorn, she had great abilities and years upon years of different experiences, but it was still strange seeing her like this.

Suddenly, memories came to him, hitting him like a speeding train, making him stop in his tracks. The ice, red-tinted with flowing hate. Himself, standing above a shape, pressing it down with furious, blazing rage as an ancient artifact supplied his strength and abilities with great power. His magic wrapped tightly around the dark-blue neck, squeezing it. The wheezing sounded, and then the cracks of ice as he bashed the skull of the other against the ice.

The air was gone from his lungs, his body started trembling. He bent down and then fell, his vision going blurry as images flashed in front of his eyes.

...once I murder you!

He remembered the aqua eyes, filled with fear and desperation. They disappeared under the surface of the cold water, bubbles of air rising, the shape resisting Sirius but he kept pushing down, his hatred not allowing him to back down.

...one of the most terrifying ways to die? Drowning!

He could hear voices calling for him but he didn't register them as he lay on the ground, curled up, hiding himself from the world, tears flowing freely from his eyes. He forced his eyes to open and he saw the face of his loved one looking at him with worry.

Why, Sirius?

Iclyn whispered something comforting to him but he could only hear a scared yell, asking him why he did what he did.

Then he understood it was his own voice.

Suddenly, it all stopped. The flood of memories ceased and he was left alone with silence in his ears and tears in his eyes. He let out a long breath as the surrounding sounds came back to him. His own heart, beating fast. His breath. The wind scattering leaves. Distant thunder rolling across the land. And words.

"Sirius?" Iclyn called to him again, her voice quiet and filled with fear and worry.

The former human stood up slowly, not saying a word. Staring into nothing, his mind blank, he breathed. He didn't know why he breathed but he did. He felt something in his chest, and it was pain. He looked down and saw his scar, barely noticeable but still there. Long, straight, clean.

Iclyn approached him from the side and used one of her wings to guide him. Whispering comforting things, she helped him reach the mansion. Luna followed behind, uncertainty in her steps. She came to help, she knew something needed to be done but things were bad. She no longer knew what she should even expect from him at this point. Things were getting worse and worse, it seemed.
She knew what Sirius had just experienced — it was a panic attack. Senses would come back to him soon but she was the one who triggered his response.

Princess Luna knew that he had doubts about her. She remembered he fought her, and the outcome could've resulted in one of them dying if not for Iclyn's help. The princess saw fear in the eyes of Sirius as he fell to the ground in his blind panic, and then he yelled. He asked himself why he was doing what he was doing, and Luna knew what he was referring to.

Their duel. She saw that he deeply regretted it, and he feared her because he did horrible things to her. She remembered his exact words, his promises to kill her and then violate her body in worse ways she didn't want to think about.

But then she remembered that day at the hospital when Sirius was finally brought back from his coma and sliding into insanity. The look in his eyes, confusion, fear, regret, and innocence. Even after everything he had been through, Sirius truly didn't wish to harm anyone. He just wanted to have a nice, peaceful life. He knew what was right and what was wrong but he couldn't follow the right path because of those bad things that happened to them.

From violence, violence sprouts. Luna knew it very well, and she thought that if Sirius were born in another, better place, he would be much better. He would probably be a son Luna would be proud to have. He protected those he cared about, he fought for what was right. With proper guidance, help, and support, he would bloom.

However, it couldn't happen. Past couldn't be changed, and fixing things it caused would be hard.

Inside the mansion, Sirius was cleaned from the dust and dirt he collected when he fell, and then senses started coming back to him. He realized where he was and what he needed to do. But would he be able to? Would he overcome his fears and anxieties and face his past again? He didn't want to do it but he knew he couldn't evade it forever.

He must do it.

Author's Notes:

This chapter is a bit shorter, unfortunately. I will try to make up for it in the next chapter.

I can now relate to Sirius even more because I tried to kill myself. Obviously, it didn't work. It was extremely painful instead. Nothing really changed for me, though. Recovered by myself and now I only regret that I didn't die. No permanent damage was done to me, at least not that I know of. Electricity jolt fixed my cramped back muscles, though. As one of my friends told me, "silver linings, huh?"

Sometimes, I hope that suicide brings me to Equestria where someone will tend to me, help me and make me better. My hope for the current place expired long ago.

____________________
Looking back at it a few months later. I don't think my opinion changed much. I just became... somewhat calmer? It's hard to keep track of myself in situations like this.

I still hope for love but... I don't know. And the dream about going to Equestria... it's pretty dumb and escapist in nature, I have to admit. Escapism is dangerous, but I don't really have much else. I suppose I just need a dream, a wish of sorts, no matter how ridiculous it may sound or how impossible it is to achieve. After all, not everyone gets good things, and some people are very unfortunate. This world is still pretty much a hellhole of varying degrees of shit.

You may say that I should go fuck myself because I'm not starving in Africa or something, but each problem is a problem. What I have is a mental issue, I realize it. However, I can still reason within a certain range of... whatever scale you can use to measure reasoning ability.

You may ask why I still haven't killed myself. Well, it's scary. I want to die for certain and at the same time, I don't want to die. Self-preservation instinct is a strong thing. And, well, shotguns aren't exactly readily available where I am.

Anyway, "I want to be in the world of colorful small horses in a cartoon made for little kids" does sound pretty damn stupid but you know... It's probably not the worst thing to wish for. Not in the context of what I write, at least.

No idea why I'm explaining it here but maybe you're interested in my thoughts.

Chapter 25: Therapy

"Are you alright, Sirius?" Luna asked the former human. She was in the living room along with him and Iclyn, the latter at his side, the couple sitting on a sofa while the princess took a seat in the armchair.

"Yes, I am." he nodded confidently. "I just... remembered what I put you through."

"I understand." Luna nodded as well. "I hold no ill will against you, Sirius. We started off on a wrong path and it was as much of my fault as it was yours. I hope I will be able to prove that your trust in me will not be wasted. Now, are you perfectly comfortable with sharing your thoughts with me, your memories and emotions?"

"...I am comfortable." Sirius replied after a moment of hesitation. "I must do it not only for myself but for Iclyn." he nuzzled his loved one. "And I will be honest."

"It's good that you agree to be honest, Sirius." the alicorn praised him as she smiled at him. "It shows how much you care about the one you love." she glanced at Iclyn and then returned to Sirius. "I will be honest with you as well. With both of you. Your relationship is in danger." she paused for a moment and then turned to the pegasus. "Iclyn, you have great emotional endurance. You were able to not only take negativity without damage to yourself but also give positivity in return. However, any endurance has an end, and if things continue like they were, it will wear you out. I've seen relationships fall apart because of dark things." she paused again, looking away for a moment, a tinge of sadness in her eyes. Quickly, she returned her attention to the ponies in front of herself. "So, the best way to deal with the past is to relive it, go through it again, but this time with those you trust. You will get outside perspective, and it will help you understand how to work it all out. We will continue from where you two paused. Can you tell me about it, Sirius?"

"Well... I, um, don't know." he replied with uncertainty. "I... I don't understand. It's just all... fuzzy and blurry. I remember shapes, voices, other, um, noises and visions, but..." he sighed. "I don't remember much aside from, uh, the last few things before I, um, returned."

"I know." Iclyn spoke. "Sirius, it was the start of your new school."

"Oh, right..." he nodded. "So, um... there was this girl..."

The gears in his mind turned as the image of young Anastasia appeared in front of his eyes.

"Stay with us, Sirius." the voice of Luna broke into his mind, returning him to the waking world. "Don't let memories consume you."

"But... he was just talking." Iclyn said with worry, not understanding what was happening.

"He was inside his mind, Iclyn. His memories, they are trying to take control of him." the alicorn explained. "It's called the Remembrance Effect. Someone becomes so obsessed with their past experiences, they relive them again and again, detaching themselves from the world. This is what happened to Sirius." she looked him in the eyes. "We shouldn't let it happen again. Sirius, hold Iclyn close. She will be a reminder that you are here, in the present."

"Alright..." the former human said. He adjusted his position on the sofa, his front leg pulling Iclyn closer. She didn't resist and put her wing over him, giving him comfort. "Can I continue?"

"You may continue." Luna nodded. "When you feel it's too much, just stop. I will also interrupt you if things are needed to be explained or if you can't stop yourself. Will it be alright?"

Sirius nodded silently and then dived deep into his memories again. This time, a part of his consciousness remained in Equestria, stayed with ponies. That part knew how much Iclyn cared about him and how Luna wanted to help him escape his nightmare and live a much better life.

The first day of his new school had just finished. After the final lesson of the day, he collected his belongings and exited the classroom, preparing to go home. Alone, he strolled down the hallway, his steps as quiet as possible.

"Hey, Stas!" he heard a voice behind him. It was an unfamiliar one, and so he became tense. "New guy, huh?"

Stanislav turned around and faced three students from his class, all of them were boys. He immediately noticed a bruise on the face of one of them. He suspected it wouldn't go well.

"You know, there are bad guys around the school." the one in the middle told him. "They would beat you up without a reason, those assholes. So, here's what I suggest." he extended one of his hands towards Stanislav. "You give us, say, two dollars a day, and we'll protect ya from stuff. If you don't have money, you can do things for us. Small things, don't worry. So, deal?"

Stanislav knew it wasn't going to be good. He knew where it was going, and it would result in nothing but pain for him. However, he couldn't agree to their terms. Memories of his first murder appeared inside his head. Screeching of metal, the smell of blood, hands covered in it and last breaths of his first victim.

"We are with you, Sirius." Luna's voice appeared, reminding him where he was. "The past is the past."

The former human understood it. He was no longer there, past already happened. It was like viewing a video on a camera, nothing more. Things happened but they weren't happening at the moment. Instead, Sirius had Iclyn and Luna, both of whom cared about him, especially the former. His past made him as he was but Sirius had to realize that it wasn't shaping him again. It had no power now. However, he had power over it. He had control.

Stanislav knew he had to say something. He remembered what his father taught him — never allow people to control you. Fight for yourself. Stand up for yourself. That was how a strong man should act, he knew it.

"No." the boy replied, turning his back on the three guys and walking away. His body was tense, he forced himself to look forward. While the hallway was noisy, his own footsteps seemed to sound much louder than the rest, making him stand out. No one looked at him, no one showed interest in him, but he thought otherwise.

"I wouldn't be so sure." one of the guys told him in a tone Stanislav couldn't quite understand. "We'll give you a few days to think, mate."

Without looking back, the boy disappeared around the corner. He let out a silent sigh of relief, knowing that he was in control of the situation. For now, at least. He knew he needed to control his emotions lest something bad would happen. As he walked downstairs, he heard quick steps from behind. He turned around and saw Anastasia rushing to him.

"You alright?" she asked him with worry.

"Mh-hm." he nodded. "Why?"

"You'll have a lot of trouble if you don't make the deal." the girl told him.

He could also bring trouble, more than Anastasia could realize. The scar on his face reminded him of it well and he could see it that the girl was interested in it, her eyes glancing at it from time to time.

"Don't care." he replied, dismissing her. "Those three—"

Suddenly, Sirius gasped, pushing his memories away. He let out a grunt and tears started rolling down his face as he looked at the floor. He sighed shakily, getting back the control over his mind.

"Is everything alright?" Iclyn asked him with worry.

"Those three... they..." Sirius tried to form words as he pushed the memories away. Gray concrete walls, the cold, and something else... But before he could feel it, he suppressed the memory. "They would do many... bad things." he sighed again, his eyes looking up at worried Iclyn. "To me... and others." he could help it but let out a sob.

"Shh, you are here." Iclyn hugged him. Luna just watched the two, a smile appearing on her face. Sirius' recovery would be very successful with such a loving filly by his side. "They can't hurt you."

"I k-know." he replied, his voice trembling. "They can't."

Luna's smile faltered as she noticed a sudden change in his tone when he said the last two words. Something about it was very out of place but she couldn't figure out what it was. She didn't expect Sirius to open up so much already, even if it was just a small part of his life.

"Sirius, may I ask you about the girl you met?" she asked him politely.

"Y-yes, sure." Sirius replied, letting go of Iclyn. He blinked a few times, making his tears disappear. "She... well..."

A different memory appeared inside his head. A few days later after he first saw Anastasia, the two were walking down a street together. The girl was on her way to take dancing lessons while Stanislav decided to join her until she was at the needed place. After all, it coincidentally happened to be his way back home.

"So, why did you move here?" Anastasia asked him with interest.

"...My mum did." he replied with uncertainty. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about it. "I, um... we had to." he averted his eyes.

"Oh... okay." the girl decided not to press further. "Anyway, do you like it here?"

"I don't know." Sirius shrugged. He hadn't been outside his house or even room much. He spent most of his days playing on his new computer, sometimes browsing the internet, watching funny videos or pictures.

"What's a computer?" Luna asked with interest, breaking his line of thought.

"Well, uh..." Sirius tried to come up with a reasonable explanation. "Um... it's like a, uh... storage... room with... stuff. Toys, books, other, um, things. But... more interesting."

"I don't think I get it." Iclyn said.

"Hard to explain." the former human replied. "You just... need to see it. But, uh... my computer had access to Internet, which is, uh... A giant... bunch of information." he paused, thinking. "A library, I guess. And it had everything. Sometimes, more than there should be..." he shivered, remembering things that he found on the Internet. He knew he went too deep, and what he saw was something he wished to never see again. Thankfully, it seemed like he wouldn't have to contact humans again, which was a huge relief for him.

"So, one can share information on this Internet and everyone who is connected to it will be able to see it?" Luna asked with interest.

"Y-yes, but it's also used for, uh... sending letters, but you don't have to wait. It's, um, instantaneous." Sirius explained.

"It would be very useful for many ponies as well." the princess said. "But you mentioned a... darker side, am I right?"

"There are things... many bad things on the Internet." Sirius exhaled shakily. "Everyone shows who they really are. And... issues are laughed at, um... people get bullied, sometimes to... death." he paused to catch a breath. "And it goes deeper and deeper..."

"You don't have to talk more about it." Luna stopped him. "I understand it. But... has your friend Anastasia seen it?"

"...I don't know." the former human replied after some thinking. "Probably not... She doesn't know half the things I've seen."

"Alright. Let's pause the session for a while." the princess said softly. "I believe we all need a small break."

Meanwhile, Anastasia and Wind Rider were at school, studying in the library. Sitting at the same table, the two were learning the language together. For the most part, it was the girl who learned it while the colt helped her and corrected her when she was wrong.

After some time, they decided to pause for a bit and just talk about things.

"Seems everything's returning to normal, huh?" Wind Rider asked as he took a comfortable position on one of the sofas.

"I think so, yeah." Anastasia nodded, relaxing as well. "It feel... nice."

"Feels, Nastya." the colt corrected her only to receive a raspberry. "Hey! I thought you were mature!"

"I am, but I want fun!" the girl giggled. "It just... um..." she stuttered. "Feels a bit... weird. With things happening, you know?" she sighed. "And I miss my home."

"I think you told me Princess Luna is searching for a way back." Wind Rider noted. "Nothing yet?"

"Nothing." Anastasia looked at the floor, her ears drooped. "Also... Sirius saw bad things. We lived in same town. I could see it but didn't." she looked at the colt. "I'm scared to return."

"I, um... I don't really know what to say about it." he replied. "I'm not sure it's the right thing to say but... you can just stay here." he flinched. "Sorry, that came off bad."

"No, it's fine." the girl assured him. "Maybe... maybe I stay. I don't know."

"I'm sure the princess will figure something out for you, Nastya." Wind Rider said. "But while you're here... I'd say we can go and have some fun together!"

"What fun?" Anastasia asked him with curiosity.

"There's a pool nearby, wanna go for a swim?" the colt asked, a grin appearing on his face.

"But... I can't swim."

"Don't worry, I'll teach ya." Wind Rider stood up. "C'mon, let's go!"

Chapter 26: Cure

Solving problems and issues can be very tedious and long process, especially when it concerns mental health. Most people recover — at least to a certain extent — from things done to them. But some, a small amount of people, never do. They carry all their experiences throughout their lives, seeking help, sometimes getting it, but it is never enough. Nothing helps: not therapy, not medication, not even more obscure and questionable methods of religious and mystical nature. They search for a solution, for a way to become better, happier, and they search for it all their lives, failing again and again until they either eventually find what they were looking for or can no longer endure the pain.

One of those people was Sirius. At least his human self was — Stanislav. After his father's unfortunate and gruesome death, after what happened right in that moment, he was mentally scarred. Witnessing two deaths in the short span of time would leave anyone but the least emotional people damaged, and Stanislav was no exception. He felt emotions, sometimes even more so than other people around him, and so the even hit him hard, maybe harder than he would ever admit.

Many events followed after the death of his father, piling up until it was too much. Stanislav searched for help, searched for someone that he could talk about all of this to, and only after death and being reborn as Sirius was he finally able to find that soul-mate. It brought him relief, albeit much more time needed to pass for him to be free of the chains of the past. Breaking out of them alone was impossible, but he had help, and maybe it would work. Deep down, he hoped it would.

He walked outside the mansion, getting some fresh air after a short but intense therapy session. He unfolded his past for the first time in his life, allowing others to look inside him and see what lay there. His memories, his experiences, emptions, wishes, dreams, and desires began to show themselves.

Iclyn was at his side, walking along with him, keeping him close to herself, giving him warmth, reminding him that he had her support. No matter what his past was, she would always be there to support him. He had shown that he deserved support, deserved love, especially after what happened to him. She intended to fix him, make him a better person, and she would stay with him to the end. What end would it be? She didn't know. However, she was sure she could help Sirius shape it.

The former human stopped and sat down on the ground, his eyes watering. With old memories resurfacing, so did his feelings and emotions about them. Iclyn sat down with him as he let out a loud cry which turned into sobs as his body shook, his face firmly pressed against the shoulder of his loved one. He unleashed it all, not afraid to be vulnerable in front of her, not afraid to show her what he felt.

No word was spoken as Sirius cried, his sobs slowly fading as he found relief from his pain. He felt Iclyn's warmth, he felt her heart beating along with his, and now he thought. He realized something that made him stop crying.

He was alive and he was glad about it.

He raised his head and Iclyn was there to wipe his tears away. The corners of his mouth rose in a smile as he looked deep into her eyes. There was no harm in them, only warmth, the kind of warmth he always wished to see and experience. Slowly, he closed his eyes and kissed her on the lips, showing her that he too could give something. Iclyn returned his kiss, hugging him tightly. She unfolded her wings and wrapped them around him in an embrace, showing that she would protect him as much as he protected her before.

Not a word was said after they finally separated. Soon, the two stood up and resumed their walk, both of them smiling. Sirius was slightly bouncing as they went, his ears perked up, and energy in his every step. Iclyn was by his side, joyfully trotting alongside him, her side often touching his ever so slightly.

Luna was inside the mansion, looking out of a window. Her eyes glistened as a smile played on her face.

Wave Rider and Anastasia were near the pool, the latter cautiously approaching the edge of it while the former was already joyfully swimming in the water. He rolled in the water and looked at the girl, a smile on his face.

"Afraid of water?" he teased as he lazily moved his legs, keeping himself afloat easily.

"No. I was... swimmer." Anastasia replied, sitting down near the edge. "But... four legs. I need to relearn."

"Well, maybe you can try doing what you previously did." the colt shrugged. "Come on, Nastya! The water is good."

Reluctantly, the girl stepped into the water, going only knee-deep in it. She had never before thought about being afraid of water but she was quickly finding out many things, especially those things which existence was very questionable at best. She sighed, deciding to go along with this.

"You're doing alright!" Wave Rider encouraged her as she moved closer to the next, deeper step. He was nearby, ready to help her if need arose.

With hesitation, Anastasia stepped even deeper into the pool, the water coming up to her chest.

"A bit deeper and you can try swimming." the colt said, watching her as she stepped into the water with less hesitation, and this time it reached up her neck, almost touching her jaw. "Water's good, right?"

"Yeah..." Anastasia replied. "So, um... I'll try... things." she said with uncertainty and then cautiously tried a swimming move she remembered. Unfortunately, it turned into her face disappearing under the water for a split second. She resurfaced and coughed, getting the water out of her nose, her mane now wet and covering her vision.

"Easy, easy!" Wave Rider hurried to her and stood next to her. "Everything's alright?"

"I... I need, uh... time." she replied, a blush of embarrassment appearing on her face. "I used be good swimmer."

"I think you'll get a gist of it soon, don't worry." the colt pat her on the back. "I'm not a teacher for sure, but... maybe I can show you a thing or two."

Together, the two started the process, beginning slowly. Wave Rider held Anastasia with his magic, trying to help her understand how to move the legs correctly. At first, it was only splashes that were the result of the learning struggle, but then things became progressively better. In the end, it only took around half an hour, and it was enough to get both of them soaked completely.

"It's good." Anastasia said, slowly swimming around, some tiredness showing.

"That's great!" Wave Rider replied joyfully, using magic to comb his mane back so it doesn't block his vision. "So, wanna spend some more time here or nah?"

"Swimming is good." the girl replied. "But where next?"

"I don't really now..." the colt tapped his chin. "You know..." he became nervous all of sudden. "Maybe we can go to a diner together?" he paused, a blush creeping on his face. "Just... eat some food and talk stuff."

"Yeah, sure." Anastasia nodded, not minding it at all, oblivious to Wave's blushing.

Taking things back under control, he continued swimming with the girl, his mind turning to think about the upcoming... date? He didn't know if he wanted to call it that way. Sure, he liked Anastasia in a friendly way but nothing more. He knew she could use someone to be there for her. He did find her beautiful, even though her otherworldly form he had seen on the photo was weird and unusual. However, now she was just another pony, at least in most ways.

So, it wouldn't hurt to try dating her. Maybe something would work out between her and the young stallion. After all, things happened between Iclyn and Sirius, and the two were at the very least content with each other.

"So, shall we continue?" Luna asked once Sirius and Iclyn returned to the mansion after their walk. "Or should we pick another day for it?"

"I feel good now. Much better, actually." the former human said. "So... I don't know."

"Tell me, what did make you feel better?" the princess said softly.

"Well, um... Just this... realization that, uh..." Sirius stuttered. "That the past is the past. It happened as it did. Now... things are different." he glanced at Iclyn. "I have... so much more. I can let it in."

"What made you realize it?" Luna asked another question.

"Iclyn." was his simple answer as he hugged his loved once close. "Her being here... just seeing her makes me feel better. She has been there for me ever since she met me. And... and I thought it was fake..." he chuckled, understanding his faults.

"Can you tell me about the first time she showed care for you?"

"Yes, of course." Sirius nodded, a recent memory resurfacing. "She... she followed me during the first night. I wanted to get some fresh air, and she saw to it that I was alright. I didn't understand it back then, but now... It's clear she cared." his smile widened. "When I had a nightmare, she woke me up. Once again, I... didn't react well, but now... Now I see that she cared." he paused to kiss Iclyn on the cheek. "There wasn't a time when she pushed me away. She was always there for me."

"It's very good, Sirius." Luna said joyfully. "May I ask... when did you start having feelings for her?"

"I, uh... don't know." he replied, a light blush on his face. "They just... appeared. I realized that I had feelings for her after some time. Well, it happened after she confessed hers." he kissed her once again. "I'm happy with her."

"And you will be even happier once you resolve all your issues, Sirius." Luna nodded. "I suppose it should be everything for today. I will visit you two during the same hours tomorrow. If it's fine, of course."

"I suppose it's alright." Sirius nodded and then turned to his loved one. "Iclyn, what do you think?"

"I wouldn't mind." she nodded as well.

"Then it's settled. I will see you tomorrow, lovebirds." Luna giggled girlishly, eliciting blushes from both ponies in front of her.

The alicorn could barely contain her joy as she happily trotted out of the mansion, deeming her day's job a success. She was finally able to help Sirius, and she saw how well things were already going for him. With more time and work, he would become much happier, much better, and eventually he would become probably the happiest person Luna had ever known.

After all, to know true happiness, one has to know true sadness, the worst of life. Luna hoped Sirius would never have to experience anything even remotely close to his past ever again. He had already been through many bad things, and it was time for him to know what happiness is.

Just a few minutes after Luna's departure, Sirius was lying on the bed, Iclyn giving a massage to him, easing his tense muscles just as she did once before. She slowly went from his neck to his backside, making him moan in pleasure as he felt his body metaphorically melting under the hooves of his loved one.

"Feels really nice, Icy..." he muttered, his hind legs and tail slightly twitching as Iclyn massaged his backside.

"I like how you call me." she smiled. "Hm, what should I call you, then? Sirius seems a bit too serious." she paused for a second. "Sir? Too short... Maybe Siri?"

"I dunno..." he muttered softly, still under the influence of Iclyn's relaxing moves. "Not Siri, though..."

"Well, I guess I'll just call you Sirius." the pegasus shrugged. "Speaking of... Why did you choose it?"

"I... I remember looking at Luna's mane." he recalled the events. "Many stars... I remembered that one of the stars is called Sirius. I liked it."

"Hm, I can call you Star if you want. 'My lovely star', heh." she giggled. "Cheesy but hey, we're a couple now."

Iclyn gently flipped her loved one and got on the bed with him, standing above him. She lay on him, her chest against his, and kissed him on the lips, her eyes closed in bliss.

"You know, I wouldn't mind some fun." Iclyn winked, grinding her lower body against his. "If you're up for it."

"I want to do something for you." Sirius said. "You did a massage, and... maybe I can try one, too?"

"Hm, that's not a bad idea." the pegasus agreed, getting off of him. Soon, the two switched placed and it was now Iclyn lying on the bed. She spread her legs and wings, waiting for Sirius to take action.

Reluctantly, he used magic near her neck, massaging it with the hands he conjured.

"Oh~" Iclyn moaned, raising her head. "That's good..."

Encouraged, Sirius continued, slowly making his way to the base of her wings. There, he carefully pressed between their bases, eliciting a slight yelp and a twitch of hind legs and tail from his loved one.

"Oh, right in the spot!" she said in a half-seductive, half-relaxed tone. "For someone inexperienced, you sure are good!"

Sirius smiled, enjoying the praise Iclyn was giving him, and he gave her a few squeezes here and there, making her moan quietly. Once her wings were limp in relaxation, he moved to her back and then went down right to her backside. He was especially reluctant there but her moans made him rethink, courage taking the place of uncertainty as he rubbed the area of her special marks. An idea sprung inside his head.

"Icy, I want to do something special for you." he said lowly and seductively. "I need you to be on your back."

Iclyn did as instructed, rolling on her back. Seeing where the gaze of Sirius went, she spread her hind legs. Against her expectations, he didn't get up on the bed. Instead, his muzzle got closer and closer to her teats and vagina. Deciding to let him do what he wanted, she relaxed, watching as a bright blush took its place on Sirius' cheeks.

Suddenly, he made a long lick along the opening. Iclyn gasped, her legs quivering as sudden pleasure took place. Sirius was satisfied with the result, pressing his muzzle against her folds, breathing in her powerful and sweet scent. He looked her in the eyes, and in them, he saw approval and desire to continue.

Remembering what he learned long ago as he browsed the internet, he parted his lips and let his tongue out. At first, he started doing circular motions, stimulating Iclyn well, making her moan softly and cutely. She was looking at him with a bright blush, their eyes connected, and neither was willing to look away.

Being inexperienced and slightly reluctant, Sirius just continued what he was doing for some time before he changed the pattern of his tongue-work. He pushed against her, his tongue going deeper in her, feeling her inner texture. He drank her sweet nectar from where it came, enjoying it even though it felt somewhat weird. He giggled slightly when he realized that she tasted like vanilla ice-cream.

He was already erect and full of lust and desire but he decided not to stop until Iclyn was pleased. He started drawing Commonlang and English alphabets with his tongue, remembering the lessons he looked up on the internet a long time ago. It was tiring but it was so much worth it for Sirius as he felt Iclyn shivering from pleasure, moaning along the way.

"S-Sirius, I... I..." Iclyn gasped. "I— AH!"

Unable to contain herself, she came, her juices flowing out onto and into Sirius' muzzle. He almost pulled away from a strange sensation but made himself stay, and soon he was enjoying it as Iclyn rode out her orgasm. He licked off everything to the best of his abilities and smiled, knowing that his loved one was pleased.

"On wow..." Iclyn said, lying on the bed breathlessly. "That was... awesome."

"Mh-hmm." Sirius replied, wiping his muzzle clean with tissues. "Feels good, right?"

"Definitely!" she replied, grinning. "And ponies say first experiences are awkward..."

"Well, uh..." the former human blushed. "When I was younger, I, uh... trained... Kinda... on fruit and stuff." he turned away.

"Aww, that's cute!" Iclyn giggled, looking at Sirius with happiness in her eyes. "And hey, now you get a reaction! Isn't it nice?"

"Uh, it is." he nodded, still blushing.

"My parents will love you! Not in this—" she wiggled her hips suggestively "—sense, of course, but still... Hm, how about we go meet them tomorrow?"

"I think... I wouldn't mind." Sirius replied with some uncertainty.

"Don't worry, it'll be good!" his loved one encouraged him. "For now, let's go take a shower. That'd be nice, and... maybe we'll have more fun, huh?"

Author's Notes:

Slowly but steadily, Sirius is healed through love, care, understanding, and support.

Here, have a cute picture of Iclyn made by skunkdinner

Chapter 27: Future and Past

Future and past are very different from each other, but one cannot exist without the other, that much is absolute truth. From the past, the future is made. Then, the future becomes the present and then the past, and it becomes the thing that makes the new, and the cycle repeats indefinitely, continuously throughout the eternal flow of time.

There are different scales of past and future. It can be small or large, good or bad, even though many things relating to either can be very subjective.

For example, something that touches both is relationships. They can be very different for many people. For some, they are easy and straightforward, no bumps along the way, nothing that would make things harder than they should be. For other people, relationships are filled with various challenges to overcome. If they can overcome the said challenges, of course. Some people find it particularly hard to find a relationship and keep it.

Deep in the evening, Sirius was sharing a bed with Iclyn, his loved one. His eyes were closed, his breath was calm, and yet his body was slightly tense as different thoughts bounced around his head. Traveling down the memory lane, he came back to the very beginning, his very first love. Awkward, shy, he didn't know how to approach it correctly or how to even think of it in the first place. His damaged heart yearned for love and care, and unfortunately, the only person close to him couldn't provide enough — the mother's heart was broken after her husband was gone. Two broken hearts cannot heal each other. They never did, Sirius remembered. They just didn't.

His first love was exciting and terrifying at the same time. The new feelings he felt were interesting but he had no idea what to do with them, how to express them, how to accept them. In the end, he chose to suppress them for the most part. Why would he try to show them if no one around them seemingly did? He didn't want anyone to find out more about him. They could've gone too deep and discovered his first dark secret, the one he shared only many years later.

Sirius rolled on his other side, making himself comfortable again. With a sigh, his head sunk into a pillow as he tried to relax once again. And yet, the thoughts didn't leave him. His mind shifted to something more recent, something that changed him even more.

Iclyn. She was everything to him. She was his angel, his savior. She was the good, all of it. Her wings could cocoon him, her embrace was the warmest and the most comfortable, her smile was the most comforting, encouraging, empowering, her eyes shining with life and energy, her bright smile bringing peace, serenity, and joy to Sirius. She was a missing piece the former human was looking for ever since he first started breaking. His soul falling apart, his mind twisting into insanity, anger, hatred, and he needed to be restored to life. The missing piece was the main support, something without which nothing could function like it should.

He remembered what happened in the showers. He remembered her warmth, the pleasure, and her lovely, angelic voice whispering, sometimes yelling his name as he made love to her under the artificial rain of water. He felt free, he felt complete, he felt good. It was not the act of sex, not the physical part, but the emotions. Alleviating the stress, it gave joy, brought confidence, and diminished the negativity. It was a feeling unlike anything else, and it freed him from his chains. He was free to express what he truly felt on the inside for the first time in his life. True, he had already tried doing it before but he was uncertain when his first time came. Now, however, he let himself experience the full scale of love.

Sirius outstretched his forelegs and snuggled Iclyn, burying his head into her chest, inhaling her natural scent of light vanilla. He smiled as he hugged her close, knowing that she was his and he was hers. After many things the two went through, even Sirius had to admit that the love was indeed genuine. He could see it now, and he regretted ever thinking that it could be fake.

The past was the past, however. He managed to endure it even though he had to pass many, many challenges that were like nightmares, but those were real, tangible. There were still some left, but Sirius was sure he would make it, he was sure he would live a better life with Iclyn by his side.

This thought brought him to a question he already asked himself. What would he do next? He couldn't just live from a tournament to another tournament. Besides, what if he lost? He had a place to live, true. He didn't have to pay taxes, true. But what about everything else? He couldn't just sit in his mansion for the rest of his life. And even if he could, what about Iclyn?

"Mhh..." she muttered, shifting on the bed. She opened her eyes and saw Sirius. "Asleep yet?"

"No." he replied quietly, his head still pressed against her chest.

"What..." she yawned. "Are you thinking about?"

"...Things. Future." Sirius replied after a small pause. "You... you said you'll be an, uh, psyc... psykchri... ugh..."

"Psychiatrist." Iclyn helped him, a smile appearing on her face. "Yes. One for foals. I see that your issues could be fixed much earlier if you had support when you were a, um, a kid. So... I should help others so that they all have a good future."

"B-but even if I had help... I..." he gulped. "I wouldn't stay there. My world is just... awful. Living there isn't worth it. You've not yet seen the things I saw." he looked away.

"Sirius..." the pegasus sat up. "You can tell me."

"I know I can." Sirius nodded. "But... I don't want to, um... damage you. Those things are just... very t-traumatizing." he let out a shaky exhale, trying to stay calm. "It will keep you up at nights... Just like me."

"Not when you're here to protect me." Iclyn nuzzled him. "You are strong. And even if you can't do everything, there is help."

"I... I..." he inhaled slowly, keeping calm was more and more difficult for him. His ears flat against his skull, his lips twitching slightly, his eyes shrunk. "But..."

"Please, Sirius." Iclyn looked into his eyes. "I see you want to let it out. You're not alone, you can do it."

"...The past is the past." he sighed. "It cannot hurt me." he looked into her eyes, locking his gaze with hers. "One time... Something horrible happened. I was, was forced to watch... something that is only history in Equestria. A terrible part of history, now long gone." he closed his eyes, remembering. In a moment, he opened them, reestablishing his connection with Iclyn. "Are you ready?"

"I am." Iclyn nodded, her hoof on his.

"Alright." Sirius nodded. "I was... forced to watch how a, un... how a girl was tortured." he paused, a lone tear rolling down his cheek. "And raped... to death." he sighed again, recollecting his thoughts, another tear appearing, leaving a wet trail on his face.

He remembered it all. He was strapped to a chair, gagged. Even if he could close his eyes, he would still hear the screams. The gray walls were indifferent to the suffering inside them. He remembered how he tried to break free, to stop it all, but he couldn't. His binds were too strong, and his skinny form couldn't break them. His hatred grew, anger flowing through his veins like a tidal wave, crushing every other emotion under it, making his heart beat violently. However, there was nothing he could do, and it brought even more hatred and anger for those who were in front of him, sometimes glancing and grinning at him, enjoying his suffering as much as he would enjoy making them suffer.

They stabbed the girl, but not in the way that would kill her. Then they would skin her bit by bit, cauterizing the wound only to hurt her again and again. Gauge her eyes out, put coals in the sockets, put iron nails into her fingers, just under her nails. Then they would slowly pull them out.

There was no escape for the girl. No matter how hard she squirmed, she was bound, she couldn't run away. Stanislav watched as her tongueless mouth tried to scream, how her dead lips hanged by thin stripes of the skin of her mouth. This image would engrave into his mind forever.

And he knew it would be his turn once they were finished with her.

"It was even worse... Many other people watched it. Like... like a movie, so they weren't there. But... but they..." Sirius continued, his voice becoming shakier and shakier by a moment. "T-they... donated m-money to see... to see different torture methods!" he started sobbing, tears flowing like a river. "W-why? B-because they, t-they enjoyed it!" he let out a loud cry, unable to say anything else as images flashed before his eyes.

The body of the girl, twitching in agony as she finally died. The captors, standing above the body, waiting for it to stop so they could pack it in a plastic bag and throw it away somewhere. A camera, aimed at the scene. A monitor, showing the number of donations, measured in hundreds of dollars, no, thousands. And they didn't stop coming.

But Iclyn was there for him, she made the images disappear as she hugged him close, tears in her own eyes. She held him as he shook and cried, shedding more tears than ever before. She could see it all: the trauma, the fear, the anger, all of the negative emotions that consumed Sirius, that formed him, made him into a monster, at least into what he believed was a complete monster. There was no doubt — he was broken on purpose. There was no surprise why he didn't want to ever see his world again, why he wanted to burn it all away.

After many long moments, Sirius was no longer sobbing. However, Iclyn had one more question, one she feared to ask him, one she feared the answer to.

"Sirius..." she said quietly and slowly. "I remember you were hurt... down there." she paused. "Did they do it to you?"

"...Yes." Sirius replied very quietly, almost emotionlessly. "They... did. I managed to run away." he averted his gaze as anger and hatred appeared in them once again. However, his voice was rising in volume, aggression showing in it. "I wish I tracked down everyone. Every single one involved, everyone who supported it!" he stopped, taking deep breaths to calm down.

"But you did do something?" the pegasus asked after a few moments of silence.

"I did." the former human replied, his voice calmer. "Those who did it all... those who did it to that girl, to me... They can hurt no one anymore." he looked at Iclyn. "They never can. I hope they burn and rot in hell."

"Can't say I disagree with you." Iclyn nodded, placing a hoof on his shoulder. "You did the right thing, let no one tell you otherwise. Even if you can't restore what they did, you made sure nothing like this will be done again." she hugged him again. "You can't be hurt now. You're here now. They can't get to you, you made sure of it."

"Thank you... thank you for understanding." Sirius whispered into her ear. "You... you are my light, Iclyn. Thank you for not letting me drown in darkness."

For the rest of the night, the two would hug, sharing the warmth and basking in it, knowing that bad things were far behind them, especially Sirius. He knew that he couldn't change the past, but he did the right thing by not allowing it to repeat. Even though he had to kill, he did the right thing, he realized.

Sometimes, there can be no reformation. Sometimes, cleansing is the only possible thing to do.

And it must be done.

Author's Notes:

It really happened, aside from Sirius being in it. Yes, that violent internet stream is true and happened some time ago.

I wish there was someone to punish those involved. However, our world seems to care more about establishing new genders than about catching monsters.

Chapter 28: The Evening Date

The sky was dark, the moon was pale and bleak, trying to get through the gray clouds. The wind was rushing, whistling, it was blowing and swirling the leaves around the streets of Canterlot. The street lights were on, chasing the darkness away, making way for the light to shine onto the streets. The yellow-tinted light of the lamps illuminated the way for the two young ponies walking together. Aside from them, the street was empty, devoid of the usual flow of different ponies trotting to their own destinations during the quiet morning, through the busy daytime, and the calming, serene evening.

"S-sorry for making this so late." Wave Rider said, a blush of embarrassment on his face as he led the way. "I just lost the track of time."

"It is fine." Anastasia replied warmly, glancing at the colt once. However, she was shivering slightly, her ears swiveling, her eyes darting around as if searching for something, but even she didn't know what it was. Despite all the light, there were dark spots along the street, and the two would pass them very close. She turned her head to the colt and asked him: "Um... where we going?"

"There's a place I know. It's a small cafe, I think." he replied, stepping close to her once he noticed her tension. For a brief moment, his side touched hers. "They do serve some nice food, though." for a second, he thought of adding something else to his statement. However, he closed his maw, rethinking. Then, he said somewhat awkwardly: "I-I think you'll like it."

Soon, the two rounded a corner and came to a small but fine establishment. It was still open, its lights shining invitingly to the young ponies. Wave Rider reached the door first, opening it and stepping aside, allowing Anastasia to pass. Soon after, he followed her inside.
The two were greeted with different aromas in the air, consisting of scents of coffee and freshly cooked meals of different sorts, all of it creating a welcoming, warm, and homely atmosphere. There were just a few patrons spending the early night inside the cafe, talking quietly and yet lively, discussing the events of the day and talking about many other things. Wind Rider led Anastasia in the corner of the room, taking a small table for two. They sat down and took the menus in their magical grasps.

The colt was silent, a pinkish tint on his cheeks as he looked through the menu, not very interested in anything particular. In truth, what caught his interest wasn't on the list of meals but instead right behind that piece of paper. He lowered the menu and glanced at Anastasia, who was looking through all the foreign meals, barely understanding half of their titles.

"Um... need help?" the colt asked, noticing the confusion on her face.

"Yeah." she nodded, putting down the menu, allowing Wave Rider to take a look.

He slightly leaned forward, almost tripping over once he lost his balance. He blushed in embarrassment even though Anastasia didn't seem to notice. She decided to ignore the little accident. However, Wave Rider did took note that they almost touched muzzles, which would be very awkward and embarrassing. The colt tried to shake it off but the blush didn't come off his face, only brightening as time went by. He decided to distract himself with choosing the meal for the girl, and it seemed to work as his blush almost faded away, his voice becoming less shaky and nervous. Soon, the two made their orders.

"So, um..." Wave Rider said, looking between the eyes of Anastasia. "Uh... H-how do you like the place?"

"Seems nice." the girl replied, looking around. "It is like... home kind of."

"Yeah... it does..." he said awkwardly, trying to figure out how to continue the small talk. However, nothing came to his mind. He sighed quietly, looking into her eyes instead, and he finally decided on something that was on his mind ever since he invited her to swim. "Um, Nastya... I actually, um... really like you." he blushed, surprised by his own bravery. "So, um... I want to, uh, get to know you more." he paused. "You know... dating and, uh, stuff..."

For a few seconds, Anastasia blinked, the memories of Stanislav appearing in her head. His moment of confession, his words of love. How he looked at her, and then... then he left after hearing what Anastasia said in return. She remembered that he left the flowers, and soon they died, even though they were placed in the water by her mother. The girl remembered how Stanislav didn't show up at school the next day, and when he finally did, there were dark circles under his eyes and a band aid covering something on his hand. He didn't look at her, he hid from her during breaks, and he became even more unsocial as time went by, sometimes going into the antisocial territory such as getting into fights on a regular basis.

Was it happening again? Anastasia didn't like Wind Rider in a romantic way. Ponies were still foreign to her, and loving one seemed impossible. However, maybe it didn't hurt to try? She didn't know, but what she knew was that she didn't want to outright reject the colt like she did with Stanislav. She wouldn't allow the same thing to happen again. Maybe something would work between her and the colt, she just needed to give it a chance.

The silence began to turn very awkward for the two as Wave Rider couldn't find the place for his eyes, looking everywhere but not at the girl. He thought about how he could've phrased it better, maybe wait a little, maybe not tell her about it at all. After all, she was an alien, she probably wasn't looking for a relationship and most likely didn't even want to be with a pony.

"That is nice." Anastasia finally said, much to Wave Rider's relief. He noticed a small smile appearing on her face, and her posture was relaxed. "I won't mind."

"Alright!" the colt said joyfully, a bright grin spreading across his face as his ears perked up. Aware of his over-enthusiasm, he blushed, calming down a little. "Um..." and then his brain stopped. All the questions he wanted to ask her were just gone. All of sudden, he had nothing to say. "W-what's your favorite colo~or?" he asked slowly, mentally slapping himself for such a stupid question and the way he asked it.

"Um... that one." Anastasia pointed at the walls, which were of light-green color. "Forgot name..."

"That's green." Wave Rider replied, releasing an inner sigh. Maybe things weren't so bad, maybe he hadn't messed up yet. "And that's a nice color!"

"It is." the girl nodded. Deciding to keep the conversation going, she asked: "What is yours?"

"Favorite color?" the colt asked for confirmation, and after a nod from the girl, he said: "Um, I don't even know... I don't really have a favorite. Actually..." he tapped his chin, one of his ears flicking. "I think the color of early sunrise..." he paused, thinking more. "Yeah, that one. Somewhere between pink and red, I guess."

A waitress came over to their table and set down two cups and a small kettle filled with tea.

"Um, thanks!" Wave Rider said to the waitress, who just smiled and went away. The colt turned back to Anastasia and took the kettle, pouring into her cup first, and then his. He took a small sip. "Oh... hot but nice." his blush deepened but the hidden, second possible meaning behind the words seemed to evade the girl in front of him.

"Tea is nice." Anastasia nodded, taking her own sip. "Mh... this is nice!" she took another sip. "I want did to ask... The thing on your, um..." she tried to find the word. "Uh..." she gestured at his flank. "It. What is it?"

"That's a special mark." the colt explained. "It shows our main talent. Every single pony gets it at one point or another, and, uh, it's also a pony-exclusive thing, I guess. The mark shows what we're the best at, what we like doing the most, that sort of thing. My talent is studying and just understanding things easily, even something complicated." and then he silently added: "Well, aside from relationships, I guess..."

"Will I get specal mark?" she asked, messing up the pronunciation.

"I don't know, probably yes." Wave Rider shrugged. "I mean... you're not fully a pony, right?"

"I guess." Anastasia nodded. "But it is interesting!"

"Yup, it certainly is."

The two spent another hour chatting about small things, sharing tea and having a nice, fulfilling meal. The establishment was about to close when the two finally finished, Wave Rider paid for both of them, and the young ponies left.

"Um... I'll walk you home, alright?" Wave Rider asked, a pink tint on his cheeks. Despite feeling more courageous, he was still quite shy and nervous, especially in front of the girl. After all, he didn't want to unknowingly upset her by doing or saying something she would consider bad or even insulting.

"I won't mind." Anastasia nodded, feeling relief washing over her. The streets were mostly silent and dark, and she didn't want to go through them alone. The company of the colt was certainly welcome.

And so they walked in silence, only the clop of their hooves sounding across the street as they went. A small smile was on Wave Rider's face as he gladly showed Anastasia the way through the dimly-lit streets.

Meanwhile, the girl was in deep thought. She knew that she couldn't just ignore the fact that a pony liked her in a somewhat romantic way. It wasn't the first time someone liked her in that way, obviously, but this was different now. Anastasia needed to be careful and thoughtful of where she wanted to go in the relationship. Should she say that she wanted to remain just friends?

She turned to Wave Rider and opened her mouth but stopped once she saw his face. He was smiling, his eyes gleaming with joy, and there was a bounce in his step that would've gone unnoticed if not for all the other signs.

Anastasia realized that by taking the easy route, she might hurt the feelings of the colt. Besides, it wasn't like she didn't want a relationship. In truth, the thought about settling down with someone passed her mind on quite a few occasions but she was too young at the time to give it some needed proper thought, especially considering how busy she often was.

She closed her mouth and turned her head away, looking ahead. She decided to wait and think carefully. Wave Rider seemed nice, caring, and definitely a gentleman. He was shy and awkward, but it was in no way off-putting. The girl also remembered that she might never find a way back home and perhaps it was the time to start things anew. In the back of her mind, hidden deep inside, there was a treacherous thought, just something that was always there since she appeared in Equestria and learned more of the new world.

Do I really want to return?

The question bugged her more than usual. Indeed, did she really want to go back to the world that had many harmful things? What was there for her aside from things that were already decided for her?

This thought scared her. What would her parents think about it? What would her friends think?

For a second, she wanted to talk about it with Wave Rider. However, she quickly rethought — she didn't want to ruin the mood. Could she even trust him enough to talk about it? Even though she had already put much trust in him, she was unsure.

She sighed quietly, and then deeply inhaled the cool autumn air. It eased her mind, relaxing her tense body. She needed to be there and then. Not in the future, not in the past. What mattered was the fact that she had a great time with the colt, and the whole day was spent nicely, including her having a lot of fun, much more fun than she usually had.

A smile spread across her face. All she needed was a bit of positivity, after all.

"We're here." Wave Rider announced once the two reached the mansion. The lights in it were out, a gentle darkness spread across the territory like a silky veil. However, despite how peaceful it was, Anastasia had fear.

"Um..." she muttered before the colt could leave. He looked at her with question in his eyes. "Wave, uh... Can you stay here night?" the girl blushed slightly. "I... I fear dark."

"Well, uh..." the colt immediately became red as a tomato. Was what she said just an excuse for something or was he overthinking it? "I, um... okay..." he opened the gates of the mansion. "If you don't mind, then, uh, yeah..."

"Thanks!" Anastasia replied joyfully, walking inside.

She remembered her lonely times at the mansion. Emptiness, darkness, silence, it weighed her down, disturbing her sleep and generally reminding her that she was alone. With the colt, however, she could at the very least stay without the fear of loneliness.

Soon, the young ponies quietly entered the mansion. Anastasia sighed in relief, knowing that she wouldn't be alone on that night. She thought that Sirius and Iclyn were probably upstairs, already sleeping soundly, but she wanted to have something of her own. Her light jealousy didn't help much when she thought about the couple either.

"I take shower." she said to the colt, lighting her horn.

Penetrating the darkness, the magical glow softened the surroundings, basking them in a light-blue color. Content with the result, the girl went upstairs and entered the bathroom.

To her surprise, she encountered an unusual and very explicit scene of two ponies copulating in the pool. A bright blush, the reddest of red, appeared on her face as she heard the moans and wet slaps echoing across the bathroom.

"I l-love you, umpf, so much, Icly~yn!" Anastasia heard, and it didn't help her blush at all. And thankfully, she hadn't been spotted yet. Taking her chance, Anastasia quickly exited the room.

The scene made her think about the future once again. There they were, Sirius and Iclyn, happy together in love. It was obvious they were going strong together, much better than if they were alone.

For a second, Anastasia thought about having sex with Wind Rider. However, her mind came to a screeching halt — she mustn't rush things. Why would she do it just because Sirius and Iclyn were doing it? It wouldn't make much sense, and she didn't want to use the colt as a way to make herself feel better. He deserved more than having a one night stand, and Anastasia herself wasn't too comfortable with her new body anyway, much less comfortable with being intimate with an alien. Not yet, at least.

The girl sat down and sighed. Much like Sirius, she would need help adjusting to the new world.

Author's Notes:

I decided to shift the focus of the story more towards the second human. After all, it's unclear if Anastasia will ever return to Earth. And if she had to stay, she would need to adapt.

Chapter 29: Stranger

Anastasia was sleeping soundly, curled up under the blankets. By her side, Wind Rider lay, a pink tint adorning his cheeks. He knew she didn't mean anything by it, but they were in the bed together. It wasn't the first time he shared a bed with a filly but it was never this way. He didn't feel anything for other fillies, he invited the girl to a date, and the two spent some quality time together, even if it was a bit awkward from his side. And there he was, sharing a bed with her. It was nothing sexual, it wasn't even romantic, but it still made him think of things.

However, he didn't know what was going on inside her head, and it was definitely far from being romantic.

Anastasia dreamt of a small but colorful village. It was full of different but friendly ponies who greeted her as she passed by. Her eyes darted around in fear as something appeared in the corners of her eyes but she could never see what it was. Ponies were there to ask her if she was feeling okay, and she replied to them that she was, and everything was fine. They looked at her with worry but didn't push further, allowing her to go. She passed them, slipping into one of the houses. The inside of it was empty, only bare walls stood, covered in dust. She let out a sigh of relief and sat down on the floor. However, there was something very interesting nearby.

In the center of the first room, she could see a hatch. Reluctantly, she made her way to it and opened it. Under the hatch, she saw a ladder. Something pulled her there, an invisible force of sorts, and she went down. The hatch closed above her, and yet she could still see everything clearly. She was more interested than afraid, and so she went further. She had to go prone and crawl through a low pathway through the concrete. After what seemed like an eternity, she came to three windows, all of them leading to the same room. She crawled out and was finally able to stand up.

She looked around. Everything was silent, completely. Nothing but her own breath could be heard. In the room she appeared, there was nothing, only bare concrete covered in dust. No marks of any kind, no one around, everything was bare and empty. However, there was a doorway to her left. With nowhere else left to go, she headed towards the doorway. Once she went past it, she came upon a stairway. She ascended and came to a heavy but old wooden door. With some struggling on her part, she managed to open it and go outside.

A bleak sun was shining through the gray clouds, snow was falling from above, covering the ground. Anastasia was in the middle of a small field, which was surrounded by a pine forest. At the edge of the said forest, a domed Orthodox church stood, slightly tilting to the side, its originally white walls having a gray tint, some of the paint had fallen off, and the domes were no longer shining gold as they used to be.

Anastasia looked back and saw that the door closed behind her, leaving her unable to go back to the basement. The house that used to stand on the said basement was abandoned long ago, its roof collapsed, glass on the windows gone, and one of the walls already crumbled.

The girl noticed a path in the snow. She followed it and soon came upon a small lake. It was free of ice, snow melted as soon as it fell on the water. The shores of the lake were dotted with red. Anastasia kneeled to inspect one of the dots and found a few moderately-sized red leaves that were slightly covered in fresh snow.

Suddenly, bubbles appeared on the lake, making it seem like it was boiling. A few moments later, Wind Rider appeared from underwater.

"Let's go." he said, looking at Anastasia. Reluctantly, she nodded and followed him with slight hesitation.

In what seemed like just a second, the two appeared in some sort of town. Anastasia realized that it was her hometown. It was nothing remarkable, featuring many four-storey houses with multiple apartments like many other towns built during the times of USSR between 1970 and 1990. This time, however, the town seemed abandoned. The snow was still falling, covering the ground. The playground between the two apartment blocks was abandoned, toys lying around chaotically with no children to play with them. However, among the snow, something was shining. As she made her way to the object, she heard a voice.

"Strangers are human beasts," the unknown person began talking, its age or gender unclear, its voice emotionless. "As soon as you see one, they see you, and they will get to you and kill you if you don't kill them first."

Anastasia froze in place, shivers running down her spine. The object lying in the snow was a revolver.

"Wave?" she called, looking around. However, the colt was nowhere to be seen, she was alone. Her heart rate increased, her shaking hands grabbed the revolver, pulling it from snow. As she rose to her feet, she saw someone from far away. It was a humanoid figure, and that's all she could make out from such a distance.

As soon as she saw it, it saw her. It started sprinting towards her, closing in very quickly. In a few moments, she could see its eyes, wide-open and looking directly at her. Underneath the torn clothes, pale skin was visible, white as snow.

Panicking, Anastasia started running away, stumbling through snow, holding the revolver tight. She ran and ran, not seeing the way, hoping to get as far away as possible. Soon, she reached her old house. It was abandoned like everything else surrounding her, but she went inside, closing the door behind her. The creature banged against the door, trying to get in. However, the nightmarish creature itself was silent.

Stumbling, Anastasia ran up the stairs, soon coming to the second floor. She stopped to take a break, and everything was silent again. Her heart was beating fast, she felt like it would jump out of the ribcage, breaking it in the process. However, she soon took everything under control. Her body shook with adrenaline but she knew she had to do something, to go somewhere.

Where was Wind Rider? Anyone at all? Aside from those beasts, there was no one around.

Something made her look to the right. A door to an apartment was wide open, revealing a room. In the visible part of the room, there was an armchair, and in it, a familiar figure sat. As soon as she noticed it, it opened its eyes. They were bloodshot, their irises purple, and the eyes themselves were sunk deep into the skull, hidden in shadows. The nightmarish creature was pale, looked extremely malnourished, and lacked ears. It stared at Anastasia in silence.

Slowly, she raised the revolver that was still somehow in her hand. She aimed at the creature's head as it continued to stare at the girl in dead silence with its wide-open eyes, piercing her completely with its emotionless and cold gaze.

The creature rose from the armchair, revealing its great height of about two meters. Anastasia's hands shook violently as she slightly adjusted her aim. The figure stood unmoving, looking at her.

Anastasia woke up, her eyes opening widely as she realized that it was just a dream. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she took deep breaths to calm herself.

"Mhh... are you alright?" Wave muttered to her side, slightly startling her.

"I'm g-good." she replied, her shaking voice betraying her.

"Um..." the colt rose slightly and looked at the girl. "I, uh, see that you're not. A nightmare, isn't it?"

"Y-yes." Anastasia nodded, deciding to reveal the truth.

"Maybe you should take a walk?" Wave suggested, his sleepiness gone. "You know, to clear your head and, uh, take some fresh air."

"I guess..." she replied, standing up. "Um..." she looked at the colt. "Go with me?"

"Sure, no problem." he nodded, standing up as well and following her to the outside.

Princess Luna was standing on her balcony, surveying the city. A frown was present on her face, her tail was swishing from side to side. Her ears swiveled around as she heard someone approaching from behind.

"Everything's alright, sister?" a familiar voice asked.

"Unfortunately, no." Luna shook her head, turning around to face Celestia. "There was a nightmare I couldn't prevent tonight. It came from one of the two humans. Everything was in a haze but I think it was Anastasia."

"There's more, isn't it?" Celestia asked quietly, fearing the answer.

"Indeed." the lunar alicorn nodded, her frown deepening. "The... creature I fought in Sirius' head. It is growing in power, it invaded the head of Anastasia. So far, it can't invade ponies' minds, thankfully." she paused for a moment. "However... it might grow even more powerful."

"What is that creature of nightmares?" Luna's sister asked another question, worrying about her two alien subjects. "Can it be defeated?"

"That creature is a part of Sirius. His guilty consciousness parasitizing on him, on all his negative emotions and feelings." Luna explained. "That is what I managed to understand, at least. This... figure feeds on Sirius' anger, hatred, shame, guilt, and it generates more from him. It is possible that the Alicorn Amulet gave it more power. The presence of that nightmare strengthened after my... duel with Sirius." she sighed deeply. "As for how to defeat it, I cannot say." she looked away, surveying the city again. "But if it is possible, only Sirius can do it, and I will help him."

"Better now?" Wave Rider asked as the two young ponies walked through the city, their way illuminated by the moonlight.

"Yeah. Thanks, Wave." Anastasia nodded, a small smile appearing on her face. The nightmare seemed so distant now, it already began to fade from her memory, leaving only vague, blurred images. "Um... you were in there."

"In your dream?" he asked.

"Yes. You... led me somewhere and disappeared." the girl explained.

"Don't worry, I will be here with you." he assured her, walking closer to her. "That was just a dream, Nastya."

"Thank you." Anastasia replied, her smile growing wider. Suddenly, for a mere moment, she lightly pressed her lips against Wave's cheek. She blushed, not really knowing why she did it. However, it felt right.

The colt was flabbergasted, his face red as a tomato, any words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat as he struggled to restart his brain. At first, he thought that it was fortunate that he didn't turn his head at the moment of the kiss or else things would've gotten even more awkward.

The strange silence continued as the two walked, and Anastasia thought about what she had just done. Was it culturally appropriate? Was it actually the right thing to do, to express a thank-you in such a way? He didn't protest but he certainly blushed when she did it, and now she wondered if she made him think that she liked him more than a friend. At the time, she couldn't say for sure, especially since there hadn't been much time since she appeared in Equestria.

Her mind shifted to the different aspect of the situation. Wave's fur on his cheeks was soft, that is what she got from the kiss she had given. It was nothing more than a fun fact she discovered. However, her mind didn't stop there — it went to Sirius and Iclyn. She knew the two had been in love for some time, certainly before she arrived, and she wondered how it felt on a physical level. The kisses, the touches... and more.

A pink tint appeared on her cheeks as she recollected the memories from when she saw the two making love in the bathroom. She caught but a glimpse but it did make her curious about how it would feel to be... loved from behind, so to speak. Despite having some relationship experience, if it could be called that, she was still a virgin and none of her relationships went beyond soft kisses, and even then, it was all from a long time ago she barely even remembered the sensations associated with them.

Meanwhile, Wave Rider finally restarted his brain and he realized that he had just been kissed. He had no idea what it meant. Was it just a common gesture of gratitude from the world of Anastasia or was it something else? He had experienced some teasing from fillies here and there, but it was never this... direct. Was it even teasing? He tried to stop the flood of thoughts; he knew he shouldn't overthink this, but he couldn't help himself, and so he wondered if what had just happened meant anything for the relationship between Anastasia and himself.

"So, um... Feel better?" he finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah." she nodded and then yawned. "Let's go back."

"Alright, no problem." Wave nodded and the two turned around. The colt silently sighed and decided to think about everything that had happened later, definitely after having a good sleep.

Author's Notes:

We're no strangers to love~

But seriously speaking, Anastasia and Wave Rider don't love each other just yet. They probably just need time, especially to get to know one another. Who knows, maybe something will work out?

Chapter 30: Crime and Punishment

As the morning came, Sirius and Iclyn awoke to the new day. Groggily, the former human rubbed the sand out of his eyes and stood up, stretching his limbs and releasing a soft but deep sigh. He jumped in place a few times, getting his blood flowing as the veil of sleep lifted, his eyes brightening to meet the new day. Iclyn, on the other hand, had only begun to wake up, rolling on the bed and yawning.

"How did you sleep, Sirius?" she asked him, stretching, still on the bed.

"Very well, thanks to you." Sirius smiled, planting a kiss on Iclyn's cheek. A blush appeared on his cheeks as he stuttered out: "You... you know... You're the best."

"Awww, thank you!" Iclyn returned the kiss. "I'm glad you slept well. So, remember what day it is?"

"We're going to meet your parents?" he replied with slight uncertainty, the sleepiness making it a little hard to remember the previous day.

"Yep! Though, we'll do it in the evening." the pegasus said, finally getting up. "After all, we have an appointment with Luna. For now, let's go downstairs and eat something." she picked up a glass of water and downed it in one go. "Ah... I'm a bit hungry."

Sirius nodded, and soon the two were in the kitchen, preparing food. The former human was cutting up some vegetables while Iclyn was searching for the appropriate plates, humming something to herself. Without much thought, Sirius joined it, humming the same tune he didn't even consciously acknowledge, one of his hind legs tapping lightly against the floor. His ears perked up as a smile appeared on his face, the knife in his magical grasp moving energetically.

In around ten minutes, the meals for the two were almost ready. Sirius was cooking a piece of meat in a frying pan, the oil boiling, helping the meat to not stick to the pan itself.

"Would you mind giving me a piece once you're done?" Iclyn asked, putting the plates with salad on the table. "I'm kinda interested in what you're cooking right there."

"No problem." Sirius nodded, not turning away from cooking. He flipped the meat, letting the other side cook thoroughly. He licked his lips, deeply inhaling the smell of the frying chicken breast. From red, it was already turning to white, and he was sure it would be done very soon.

True to his thoughts, just three minutes later, it was done. The meat was soft and yet had a texture and was thoroughly cooked. Most of it went to Sirius while he shared a small piece with his loved one.

"This... isn't bad," Iclyn commented as she chewed the meat. "I ate fish before, and... this meat is different but it's still meat." she swallowed. "Pretty tasty, actually."

Sirius nodded silently as he chewed, his canines biting deeply into the meat and then tearing it from the rest.

"Those teeth of yours are certainly better at it than mine." the pegasus said, and then dug her muzzle deep into her bowl of salad.

For a few long minutes, the two were silently eating their meals, enjoying it and enjoy each other's presence. Sirius was often glancing at Iclyn, happy to see her enjoying what he made, and it made him enjoy his own meal much more.

Soon after the two were done eating, someone knocked on the door. Knowing well who the visitor was, Sirius distantly opened the door by using his magic and let none other but Princess Luna in. Her nostrils flared slightly as the smell of the recent meal reached her, and a smile appeared on her face.

"Hello, Sirius and Iclyn." she greeted them. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"It's fine, we're pretty much done," Sirius replied, putting his dish in the sink and turning on hot water. "I, well..." he paused, collecting his thoughts. "I have much to tell, I suppose." he glanced at Iclyn. "I shared something I've not shared before. And..." he sighed deeply, staying calm. "I think I need... to tell you that as well."

"This is a large improvement, Sirius." Luna nodded. "How about we take it to the living room?"

"Yes... that'd be good." the former human nodded, and soon the three ponies were taking comfortable seats in the living room. Iclyn was once again at Sirius' side, one of her wings over his back. For a few moments, everything was silent. Luna waited patiently, understanding that whatever he had to say had to be very important, as well as very hard to say.

Once Sirius collected his thoughts and memories, he told Luna what he had told Iclyn. What he had seen, what was done to him, what was done to that girl he had never known, and how he dealt with it all afterwards.

On that night, he was bound to a chair, duct tape wrapped all around him. All of his body ached like never before, blood dripping from his crotch where the most of the pain was concentrated. He was quietly moaning in pain, fighting the urge to yell and scream. He shifted on the chair, trying to free himself. He let out a gasp as sharp pain shot through his body once again but he didn't give up, he couldn't. Tears of suffering streamed down his beaten up face that looked more like raw meat than anything else, but he struggled on.

Finally, a heavenly sound reached his ears, numbing the pain — his arm was free, the duct tape was ripped off. Despite the pain it caused to his skin, Stanislav ferociously ripped off the rest of the duct tape, not caring about anything at all but getting out of that wretched place.

Soon, he was lying on the floor, breathing heavily, waves of pain washing over him. He stood up carefully, stifling a gasp each time his things rubbed against his damaged privates. He was completely nude, having no defense, no protection, and no weapons, only himself.

In a few seconds, he was on his feet, one of his hands propping him against the grey concrete wall of the place. In the corner of the same room he was in, lay something he didn't want to look at. The smell of blood and rot was in the air, emanating from that very corner. Having nothing to puke, Stanislav just gagged as he went, still holding onto the wall. The room didn't have any windows, only the holes in the ceiling and walls let the sunlight in, barely illuminating the room. However, the room still had an exit, a door. Thankfully for Stanislav, it was made of wood and had no lock. With a surprising amount of effort, he managed to open it and walk into another hall, this one having windows that led to the outside. Unfortunately, they were too small and too high for him to even hope to go through. He had only one way to go.

Anger and hatred boiled in his veins, propelling him forward, giving him the strength to struggle on. He had to survive, he couldn't give up and surrender himself to those that wronged him. He had to punish those responsible for all this. Otherwise, he would be just as bad as they were. He could not let them hurt more than they had already hurt. They hurt him, the now dead girl, and possibly many more victims. Stanislav knew that hundreds if not thousands of people went missing every year, and those were only the reported cases. Who knew how many other people were abducted, tortured, raped, and then mercilessly murdered? It was a horrible mystery Stanislav wasn't sure he wanted to uncover. However, at the very least, he could do something to make the numbers less, to make it stop at least in his own town.

He remembered the day he was abducted. He was walking down the street from his school, hoping to get to his empty house as soon as possible. It had been two years since he and Anastasia begun to separate, and by that time, he was completely alone. One day, when he was just fifteen, he came back home only to see his mother dead, lying on the floor, her hand reaching for the phone as her other hand held onto her chest, a grimace of pain stuck on her face forever. Without her, Stanislav had no one else to rely on, no one else to care for. And so, barely anyone missed him when he was gone. Attacked from behind, he was subdued, tied up, and thrown into a van. After what seemed an eternity of driving, he was zapped and brought into an abandoned building not too far away from the town he lived in. He remembered the place — sinister rumors went around about it. Some said it was the favorite place of Satanists, others said that homeless people occupied it, even ghost stories were connected to that place, but the truth was much, much more terrifying than anything people thought.

It was a place for torture, rape, humiliation. It was a place for recording those horrid actions and streaming them over the internet, letting hundreds if not thousands of people watch it, and not only watch it, but enjoy it as well. Stanislav would never forget the time he had to spend in that place.

Fortunately, he was escaping. Stumbling, he crawled out of his grave, struggling, holding on to his dear life, knowing that if not him, then who would stop it? And finally, he saw someone. He remembered the guy — he was one of them. He was the cameraman, making sure that the best shots were made. Adrenaline pumping in Stanislav's vein, he pounced on the guy, making him drop his camera and shatter it against the gray concrete floor. Choking him with one hand, Stanislav used his other to gouge his eyes out, making the cameraman scream on top of his lungs, breaking the weak hold that was on his neck. A brick was lying nearby, and Stanislav picked it up. He stood up, looking at the guy on the floor crying, just like the victims, just like those he filmed. With great satisfaction, Stanislav crushed the brick against the guy's groin, making him fall unconscious from the shock as his pelvis broke with a loud crack. Not stopping there, Stanislav smashed the same brick against the guy's skull, again and again, turning it into a bloody mush of bone and brain, spraying blood and bone parts all over the place. The body of the cameraman was twitching in agony, dying.

Breathing heavily, Stanislav stood up, covered in the blood of the guy. With a roar, he threw the brick at the chest of the cameraman, breaking the bones. Stanislav's pupils were tiny, and yet a wide, twisted grin was present on his blood-covered face — he unleashed his wrath, he punished. His heart was pounding, the sound resonating in his head, making him want more. He reveled in the violence he brought upon the criminal, satisfied with his brutal death. It was right, he deserved it if not more.

However, the job was far from being done. Others needed to be punished, others needed to taste their own blood. Stanislav had much work to do, and he had no idea where the rest could be hiding. He knew them, he knew them well — they were his classmates, those that always bullied others. Stanislav didn't suspect that they were much worse than that. But now that he found it out, he would track them down, and he would kill them without regret and with great satisfaction. While he couldn't save the previous victims, he could make sure that no more would be made.

Finally, Sirius sighed deeply, finishing his tale. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and dropped on the floor, but Iclyn was quick to hug him and comfort him.

Luna was staring at Sirius in shock, not knowing what to do or say. What he had just told her was truly horrible, something that the princess herself had never even heard of or encountered. Knowing that the numbers of the victims could be even higher and it was a worldwide problem made her even more uneasy. It no longer surprised her why Sirius decided not to stay in his world but rather be done with it completely and without return.

"Sirius..." she began, finally regaining some amount of calm. "May... May I offer you a friendly hug of comfort?"

"...Yes." Sirius replied after a moment of hesitation, and Luna was quick to press him against her chest and hug him tightly. At first, it was slightly uncomfortable for the former human, but he gave in and hugged back, realizing that he needed it. The memories brought him much pain and Luna was just trying to alleviate it. The memories would stay with Sirius forever, but they were the past, not the present, and definitely not the future.

"You are brave, Sirius," Luna said in his ear. "I doubt many people would see to it that the criminals you encountered be punished. You are even more brave for opening up to Iclyn and me about what happened." finally, the two broke the hug. "Tell me... And forgive me if this question is too much, but... have you and Iclyn been intimate?"

"Yes," he admitted without hesitation.

"I... I have no words to describe how strong you are, Sirius." Luna looked at him with wide eyes. "After what you had been through... I am honestly very surprised you even let anyone that close to you." a smile appeared on her face. "Love is truly a medicine, isn't it?"

"Yes... yes it is." Sirius smiled as well, and then pulled Iclyn close and kissed her lovingly.

"I think that you are doing well. Even without my help, you managed to get very far in your recovery." Luna praised him. "If I may ask, what is your next course of action?"

"I... I was going to meet Iclyn's parents this evening," he replied with some uncertainty.

"Then go on, Sirius. You don't need to tell them everything, just show them how much you love Iclyn." Luna put a hoof on his shoulder. "I believe you two are an excellent couple. I am no expert on love, but I do recognize a strong connection when I see it. Iclyn had already given you what you desire, she had begun to help you just by loving you." the princess smiled wider. "This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, Sirius, and I lived for a very long time."

"T-thanks..." Sirius blushed, unsure of how to respond. "I... I do feel happy. I just need to figure out the future, and... that's probably all."

"It is true, but I have some bad news for you." Luna's smile diminished. "The... figure I saw inside you. Tall, pale, piercing purple eyes... It is no longer just inside you. It feasts on your fears and pain. It grows stronger and stronger, and one day... it may come to life and bring pain not only upon you but more ponies. One day, you will have to confront it or else you would never defeat your nightmare."

A ringing silence fell upon the three as Sirius took in what had just been said. After a few long moments, he nodded.

"I will do anything to protect those I care about," he said, looking Luna in the eyes. "No matter the cost to myself."

"It is truly noble." the princess nodded. "But for now, rest, have fun with your loved one, explore the love. I will search for a way to help you deal with the nightmare, and once it is done, you will not fight alone." she stood up. "I bid you farewell and wish you luck on meeting Iclyn's parents. I believe you will leave a very positive impression, Sirius."

Author's Notes:

Our world is certainly not a very good place. I hope that one day, such crimes will no longer happen. Heck, I hope that one day, all violent crimes will stop completely. I doubt it will ever come, but hope is not reasonable, it's just that, hope. I doubt it will happen in my lifetime, at least.

Honestly speaking, I would do what Stanislav did if I were in his place, even though I really, really hope to never be in his place.

Chapter 31: Family

Author's Notes:

A more light-hearted chapter for you today.

What is a family? It seems like a simple question, something a child would ask his parents. However, answering it is far more difficult than some might expect. Indeed, what is a family? Is it simply a system of blood ties that bind everyone together through biology? Is it the relationship between the members of the family? Is it a connection that pulls them together, something that can't be explained by simple blood ties?

You cannot choose a family you are born into. You can get lucky and be born into one that encourages exploration, personal development, and happiness. On the other side of the spectrum, you may be born into a family that treats you like a belonging, a thing, a pile of clay to be shaped, and not a living being. And, of course, you can get everything in-between the two ends of the spectrum of a family that is based on blood ties.

However, what if you are left without a family? Many children suffer through it in the human world, abandoned by those that brought them to life, sometimes even left to die and to never see the world. What is family for them? What is family for adopted children?

Fortunately, later in life, everyone can choose their new family. A loved one, children, some people even count friends as their family. Even the family of a loved one can become a part of your own family. The possibilities are endless, and some turn it good indeed.

A few hours into the afternoon, Sirius and Iclyn were walking through the street, heading to the house of the pegasus' parents. A smile played on Iclyn's face as she moved with a slight bounce in her step, her wings fluttering from time to time in excitement. Sirius, on the other hand, walked calmly, his gait having a limp he had earned when he fought Changeling Queen Chrysalis. His expression was neutral but he found himself looking at the ground quite often, his mind deep in thought.

Despite what Iclyn thought of him and how she loved him, the former human felt that her parents wouldn't be as acceptive towards him. He had put his loved one in danger multiple times and almost caused her death. If not for a miracle he couldn't quite understand, Iclyn would be lying in the ground forever and he would soon follow. He had hurt her and he knew that such things could not and should not go unpunished. However, even Princess Luna allowed him to stay free. She wanted to help him, but it still left Sirius confused.

The former human realized that it was his duty as Iclyn's partner to make a good impression on her parents, to prove himself worthy of her, to prove that he could protect Iclyn and never allow anything to hurt her. It was his responsibility to make sure that their relationship developed and improved, to make sure that the family he was making would be happy with him. Perhaps, Iclyn would want a foal later on, and despite a great many doubts Sirius had, he would still at the very least try to be a good father if he indeed became one at some point in his life. He had to make sure he would be a great husband. In truth, he wanted to marry Iclyn, to bring the relationship to the next level, but he was unsure of how to do it properly. Was it too early? Did he need to do something great for it to happen?

"Is everything alright?" Iclyn said, looking at Sirius with worry and cutting into his line of thought.

"I'm thinking about, um, our future," Sirius replied slowly, uncertain of if he wanted to reveal his thoughts in full just yet.

"Don't worry about it yet, we would have plenty of time to think about it and decide everything," the pegasus assured him, putting a wing over his back. "Let's focus on the present now, alright?"

Sirius nodded silently in understanding. He was so tangled up in the future he almost forgot that Iclyn wanted him to be with her here and now, not there and then.

"You're right," he said after the nod. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Iclyn replied. "We'll talk it all out a bit later."

Soon, they reached a certain house in the northern part of Canterlot. It was nothing big, just a usual two-storey house as were many others scattered across the city. Iclyn remembered visiting it just before the fateful day of the duel between Sirius and Luna. It was a calm, peaceful time, nothing seemed like it could go wrong, and yet it did.

She took a deep breath. Sirius was with her now, things couldn't go wrong. There he stood by her side, her loved one. She suspected he was even more nervous than herself but it was apparent he didn't want to show it. This time, he didn't even have a weapon by his side. His mane had grown longer and Iclyn helped him pick a shampoo and then comb the mane properly. Despite having some scars, he was still as handsome as ever to her. In fact, he seemed to gain a bit of weight, making his sunken cheeks less prominent, and his overall appearance gained some volume, making it less skinny than it used to be.

Finally, Iclyn knocked on the door. She let out an exhale and closed her eyes for a few long moments. That was it, she was going to present Sirius to her parents. Despite being quite confident, she knew that her loved one was much different than most if not all ponies.

Soon, the door opened, revealing Iclyn's mother, a pegasus of a similar fur color but much darker blue mane.

"Ah, hello, my dear!" she said and then her deep purple eyes turned to Sirius. "Oh, I see..." a smile appeared on her face. "Hello to you as well, Sirius! Come in, come in!" she opened the door wider and stepped back, allowing the two lovers to come in. She trotted deeper inside the house, calling: "Honey! Iclyn is here with her coltfriend!"

Wiping his hooves, Sirius blushed slightly. What Iclyn's mother said was so direct and open, he wondered how he'd be able to talk to either of the parents. Should he be just as open about his relationship? Unfortunately for him, he didn't have much time to think because the mother returned to the two, a beaming smile adorning her face.

"You're both very welcome today!" she said. "So, Sirius, I'm glad to meet you in person! I'm Aliya."

Sirius nodded, not knowing what to say.

"A shy one, I see..." Aliya said, her smile unfaltering, her words making a pink tint appear on the cheeks of the former human. "Anyway, why don't you two wait in the living room while my husband and I make something tasty for you?"

Soon, Iclyn proceeded to lead Sirius in the room. It was quite spacious, featuring a big couch, an armchair with a coffee table on the side, and a TV set. It wasn't as big as the one in the mansion and also not quite as thin, reminding Sirius of old TVs from the end of the twentieth century on Earth.

The two hopped onto the couch and Iclyn lay almost on top of Sirius, placing her head on his neck. He blushed harder, not used to this kind of public display. It wasn't exactly public, but Iclyn's parents would be able to see it soon and the former human had no idea how they'd react to it. For all he knew, it could be negative. And besides, personally, he was just not very ready to share how he spent or would spend his time with Iclyn. After all, things had come much further than snuggles and hugs.

True to his thoughts, the parents of Iclyn came in. Sirius blushed intensely but didn't dare to push his loved one off of him. He was glad that it wasn't a compromising position.

"You two sure look cute together!" Aliya commented and Sirius could swear he heard a tiny squee come out of her mouth. "So, Sirius, this is my husband and the father of Iclyn, Tal."

A stallion of a smaller frame than Aliya was the father of Iclyn. What he lacked in height, he had in his wings, which were almost one and a half times bigger than those of his wife. His mane was purely white while his fur was a shade of gray, although no signs of aging were present.

"Good day to you, Sirius," Tal said in a soft tone, making a polite nod. The former human replied by returning the nod. "I do hope to get to know you better, and today is definitely a good day for it! Well, I have to cook now, but I hope you'll enjoy the company of my wife."

Tal soon left, disappearing into the kitchen, and the two lovers were left with Aliya. She sat in an armchair, her posture relaxed. Then, she looked at Sirius.

"I can see it in your eyes that you've been through some not very nice things," she said. "I can also see that Iclyn has helped you a lot in overcoming those difficulties," she changed her position slightly, turning more to Sirius. "You have already proven that you'd do a lot to protect my daughter... I'm very happy to know it, Sirius!" she smiled at him. "I hope I'm not too intrusive, but... just how close have you been?"

Blushing even harder than before, Sirius couldn't do anything but avert his gaze in shyness. To Aliya, it spoke more than words would.

"I'm even more happy for you now!" she said. "I'm glad to know that you have found a love of your life, and I am glad for you, Iclyn, as well!" she pressed her hooves against her cheeks. "You both are adorable!"

It was time for both lovers to blush and avert their gazes from each other and Aliya. The mother stifled a giggle while looking at them but regained her composure soon, understanding that she would only embarrass the two if she continued her approach, and it wasn't something she wanted.

"Forgive me, it's just I'm so happy for my daughter!" she apologized to Sirius. All he could do was nod, a blush still present on his face. "Sirius, may I ask... why don't you have a special mark yet?" a look of concern passed on her face. "From what I can tell, you have a talent in using swords. Maybe you could join the Royal Guard someday, considering that you fight better than even the top of the Guard."

"I... I don't know," the former human replied. "Never really thought of it..."

"Oh, that is alright. All of us tend to think of something only when it hits us," Aliya let out a short and soft laugh. "Back when I was slightly above your age, Tal and I were together, and we didn't know much about anything. Trust me, it is a path of trial and error, and it is worth it," she paused for a moment. "I'm sure you will find your talent someday. With or without it, you are still the same person, and I have a feeling you would make my Icy happy!"

"Mooom, not the nickname..." Iclyn moaned.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear!" the mother was quick to apologize. "I'm just so excited about seeing you two! I want to dance around and sing, to be honest! But, well, we can all enjoy a little calm once in a while," she let out another short laugh. "Anyway, I think I should help my husband. I'll call you once it's ready!"

With that being said, Aliya stood up and left, which elicited a deep sigh from Sirius.

"Sorry, I'm just... not used to this," he apologized, hoping that what he had just done wasn't insulting.

"That's fine, Sirius," Iclyn said, nuzzling him. "My mother can be a bit overenthusiastic sometimes. But don't worry, she knows when and where to stop to not go too far."

"At least she, uh, didn't ask about how, um... you know..." Sirius trailed off.

"Yeah, that'd be the worst!" the pegasus laughed. "Speaking of that... I'd like to do it once we're all alone. But for now..." she rose slightly, Sirius' ear in her sight. "Nom!" she bit on it slightly, making it twitch. To her surprise, Sirius giggled. She released the ear and looked at him with a broad grin. "What was that?"

"Uh..." Sirius hid from her gaze. "Um..."

"I'm happy to hear you giggle!" Iclyn said. "I don't think I've heard that from you before."

"I, uh..." having no idea where to find the needed words, the former human could do nothing but blush intensely and stutter while avoiding the gaze of his loved one. "Uhm..."

"Just relax..." Iclyn nuzzled his chest, pushing him slightly. "You know, we can cuddle for a bit right here if you'd like."

"Uh, uh-huh," was Sirius' only response as he placed his front leg on Iclyn and hugged her close, giving her a nuzzle of his own. "I love you," he said quietly, feeling the need to release those words, to let Iclyn know that he indeed had deep feelings for her.

"I know, and I love you, too," she replied and kissed him on the lips. The two closed their eyes and relaxed, enjoying the sensation.

The doubts Sirius had were mostly gone. Perhaps, he would find acceptance in this family. At the very least, Iclyn would definitely stay with him as the taste of her lips told him.

Now, he only had to convince her family that he was likable. Despite having made some considerable progress, he still had some thing to do to show the best of himself, and he was sure that the family dinner would give such an opportunity.

Chapter 32: Dinner

Author's Notes:

Finally, an update. I hope you'll enjoy it!

Sirius encountered many things in his life. Many of them were dark, hidden just out of sight, waiting for their time to show their worst. They hardened him, prepared him to fight for himself and those he cared about. They forced him to struggle to survive, they made him learn just how bad things could be and how they could happen to anyone. He would even think that he was ready to tackle anything if it meant protecting himself and those he loved. He thought he had seen everything there was.

However, nothing prepared him for the mundane, for something peaceful like having a dinner with a family of his loved one. It felt so out of place, so unusual. It was quite ironic that something as simple as this was an uncharted territory for the former human. In it, he found both excitement and fear, his inner child wishing to explore it more to understand it.

A long time ago, when he loved Anastasia, he hadn't seen her parents more than a couple of times, and he had never interacted with them in any meaningful way. But now, however, he had to be near the parents of Iclyn and, most importantly, talk to them, no matter how difficult it might be for him to do. He knew how to be aggressive, he knew how to stand his ground, and that left him defenseless when it came to something peaceful, a situation when his fighting skills didn't matter and were, in fact, detrimental to what he wanted to achieve. At the very least, he hadn't messed up anything just yet and he hoped he wouldn't. Making a good impression on Iclyn's parents was a key to his future, the future he was sure Iclyn was a part of. If he was going to marry her, he needed to do much more than fight those who wished to harm her.

In Sirius' eyes, Tal and Aliya seemed like a simple couple in their thirties if not a few years under it. Past their young years of passion but yet to enter the years of old, they emitted an atmosphere of love and care, a certain sense of warmth no fire can make. It subtly reminded him of his own family before the death of his father. And even then, the family of Iclyn seemed even happier, more relaxed, perhaps. He didn't know whether they had arguments or not but it seemed like any problems they encountered would be resolved peacefully. After all, arguments weigh down on everyone involved, it was a certain mental weight that piled up until it broke someone.

All of it left a weird feeling in Sirius' head. He knew that fewer and fewer people wanted children back on Earth, at least in the more civilized countries, but ponies seemed like they weren't too worried about raising their foals. Was it the much more peaceful state of Equestria? Was it the better standard of living? For some reason, even the former human began to think about having kids, offsprings of his own. It wasn't an inner desire to procreate, it was something else he couldn't quite understand just yet. Perhaps, it was a desire to show someone this beautiful world, a world where happiness can be achieved? After all, he managed to get his own piece of it, and it changed him entirely. He was no longer the aggressive and hateful self like he was at the time of his death. He managed to become someone better, all thanks to Iclyn and the new world.

However, Sirius still seriously doubted his ability to be a good father. Wouldn't it be strange for him to be one? After all, he was an alien. How would he explain it to his kid or kids? Would he even need to explain it? And if he did tell them, what would they say in response, would they even believe him or would they think that he was playing games or worse, went insane?

"Sirius?" Iclyn waved a hoof in front of his face, making him blink as he broke the line of thought to return to reality.

"Ah, sorry, zoned out..." he apologized, a pink tint of embarrassment appearing on his cheeks. He needed to be there and then, not in his thoughts. "Is, uh, the dinner ready?"

"Yeah," the pegasus nodded, effortlessly hopping off the couch and turning her head to Sirius. "I bet you'll love it."

Soon, the two entered the kitchen, which was coupled with the living room, separated only by a simple curtain. Iclyn led Sirius to a big table, helping him find an appropriate seat. She took one by his side, and the two were finally ready to eat. The former human nervously fidgeted in place, remembering that there was a dining etiquette of sorts, at least there was one when his own family took guests. From what he could recall, the head of the family would start eating first, and that meant his father when he was still alive. Then it would go to his mother, then to himself, and then to the guests. It was a family tradition, and Sirius was sure it was also a part of dining etiquette. However, there were different etiquettes in different countries, and he only had to wait and see what Equestria had in this case.

He looked at the table to distract himself. There was a surprisingly wide assortment of meals, ranging from a simple mix of hay and flowers to a whole cooked fish seasoned with different spices, which surprised Sirius the most. However, he remembered that pegasi, for the most part, liked fish. He wouldn't mind some meat either way, and his stomach rumbled quietly as he inhaled the scent of the food. Questions of food morals aside, he wanted to eat, no doubt about it.

"Go on, take anything you like, Sirius," Aliya said, making a wide gesture with her wings. Then, she picked some things from the table, putting them on her plate. Sirius immediately noticed how she licked her lips, and it wasn't something that was appreciated in a civilized human society. He didn't mind it much, however, preferring to focus on the food, soft rumble in his stomach reminding him of it.

Hesitantly, he reached with his magic and got a piece of fish for himself, a slice of bread, and a few spoonfuls of cut-up vegetables. He carefully put them on his plate and stopped. He looked at Iclyn and saw her getting some food for herself. Once she got all she wanted, the two began to eat. Sirius used his magic to bring the food from the plate to his mouth while Iclyn put her muzzle into the bowl. It was still a strange way of eating to the former human but at least it made sense, seeing that holding cutlery was nearly impossible with hooves.

"So, Sirius, can you tell us how the two of you got together?" Aliya asked with interest after a few minutes of silent eating.

"Well, I..." he suppressed a sudden burp in an effort to prevent embarrassing himself in front of his loved one's family. "I... just... did?" he looked away for a moment, realizing how awkward it sounded, his ears going down slightly. "I, uh... can't really explain."

"Ah, I see," the mare nodded. "What do you like about Iclyn, if I may ask?"

Sirius glanced at the filly, and it seemed she didn't mind such a question. So, he returned to the mother and thought about what he would say next. After all, he didn't know if it was socially acceptable to talk about her visible features and physical beauty, which he found very attractive despite her being an alien to him, certainly far from a human. He knew that it would be best to leave out his alien origins, however. Such information wasn't something to freely spread around as if it was just the color of his fur or his race or other simpler things.

"Well, uh... she's, um..." he blushed, finding it hard to talk about something like this. "Kind, compassionate, and, uh... understanding," he paused, gathering his thoughts. "And... p-probably a few more things I can't figure out how to, uh, say," he let out a silent sigh as he finished.

"Indeed, we often don't know why we love the person we love," Aliya nodded in understanding and smiled brightly. "And that's what's important. No matter how many words you say, your feelings matter more. And if you can't put those feelings into words... then it's truly something great."

Not expecting such words, Sirius was silent for a few moments, searching for something to reply with. However, nothing came to his mind and so he remained awkwardly silent, not knowing what to do next. He already wished to be back home and he would certainly prefer to spend time with Iclyn only. However, he knew he had to get to know her family, to show himself to them, receive their approval. And besides, he was doing it all for Iclyn.

"Sirius... I believe you'll grow up into a fine stallion," Aliya said, breaking his line of thought. "I already see maturity in you. And that's why I believe you're just right for Iclyn."

"I... I appreciate it," Sirius nodded slowly.

"I do mean it," the mare assured. "When I met Tal, he was also pretty shy. But through our combined effort, we became the family we are today. Anything is possible if you put enough work into it, that much I can guarantee."

Once again, the former human nodded, knowing well how things could take quite some effort to be done. After all, he was going through it right now, trying to get Iclyn's parents to accept him. In the future, it would certainly prove to be beneficial for their relationship in the short and long term. If he planned to marry Iclyn and even have kids with her, he'd rather be well prepared for it and receive the approval of those that care about his loved one, those who gave birth to her and raised her well. Without their clear approval and support, his relationship with Iclyn just wouldn't last. It was true that it ultimately came down to the two alone but the family was very important.

Sirius wished he could tell this to his own family. He could only imagine how joyful both his mother and father would be if they learned of this. Their beloved son found love and happiness! It would certainly lift the spirits, and the former human looked to do nothing more than to make his parents happy. Unfortunately, they both were no longer there, leaving him all for himself in the world. And even if they were still alive, how would he tell them? How would he return to his birthplace, the world of Earth? Most importantly, would he even be willing to go that far? It was unknown if he could return to Equestria after such an event, and he wasn't about to take the chances, not when there was so much to leave behind.

"I've heard you're a stallion who knows his way with a sword," Tal said, gaining Sirius' attention. "Have you thought about applying to the position of the Royal Guard? They could use someone like you. I've heard that they pay well, too. Protecting Canterlot and the Princesses is very important and it's not just for any stallion."

"I'm thinking about it," Sirius admitted, nodding. "I do feel like protecting is where my talent lies," he looked at his flank. "I know that I don't have a mark just yet, but... well... I don't want to brag, but I think you've heard of what I did."

"I certainly have," the stallion nodded. "Weren't it for you, Equestria would fall to changelings! I bet you did a better job than the Captain Shining Armor himself, hah," he let out a chuckle. "So, perhaps you have a very bright future there in the Guard. I'd definitely rather see you as the captain and if it were for me to decide, you'd be one already."

"I... really appreciate that," the former human said, surprised by the amount of praise he had just received. He had fought for Iclyn and for his own life but he had no idea it would have such consequences. And so, he must remember that he was a hero to Canterlot and possibly the whole Equestria.

The words of Tal were something else, too. Such a praise showed that he accepted Sirius. Approved his relationship. Most importantly, he was already showing support. This thought made Sirius smile, and the rest of the dinner was spent peacefully and without a worry in the world for him, Iclyn, and her parents.

"I saw you were rather nervous there, Sirius," Iclyn commented as the two walked on their way back home. The sky was dark, and the streets were lit by the lamps, making soft orange light illuminate the surroundings. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded confidently. "Now I know that your parents like me," he smiled. "That's... very good, don't you think?"

"Obviously," she rolled her eyes playfully. "After all, I love you. Did you think the answer would be anything else?"

"Nope, not a doubt about it," the former human let out a soft chuckle, agreeing with his loved one.

"You know..." Iclyn looked at him, a mischievous look on her face. "I like the new cheerful you. It fits you pretty well," she booped him on the muzzle with her hoof, making him giggle spontaneously. "Awww..."

"Mhhh..." Sirius blushed, his face like fire, and he turned away. However, Iclyn gently nudged him, making him return to her to receive a kiss on his lips.

"Just like my mom said... If you put enough effort into something, it will work," the pegasus said, beaming a smile. "Now, let's go. We could have some... fun," she giggled. "If you know what I mean~..."

Chapter 33: Gift?

Sirius and Iclyn were returning to the mansion late in the evening after taking a walk through the city of Canterlot. The sun was setting, the last of its rays slowly disappearing behind the horizon, leaving the rising moon to light the way. The former human had a certain bounce in his limping steps, a smile on his face. Iclyn was by his side, one of her wings over his back, and the same smile adorned her face as well. Thankfully for both of them, Iclyn's family received Sirius with a warm welcome, and the dinner went remarkably well in a friendly atmosphere. Worries and doubts were gone, replaced by a feeling of acceptance and comfort. It would certainly help the two form a family one day.

A distant thunder rolled over Equestria, and a light drizzle started, the rain tapping on the ground, buildings, and the ponies alike. The two lovers went under the cover of the buildings, staying close to the side of the street. Shaking off the drops of water, they continued their way to the mansion, their steps carefree as the pleasant sound of rain filled the streets of the city.

Sirius' ear twitched as he heard something peculiar among the sound of the rain. A high-pitched noise, an unmistakable one, one he had heard before. His body tensed as he scanned the surroundings, looking for the source of... chirping.

"Is something wrong?" Iclyn asked him with worry, noticing his sudden change of mood.

Suddenly, two equine shapes appeared in front of the two. In an instant, Sirius shielded Iclyn with his body, aiming his horn at the shapes, ready to use his magic and wishing that he had his swords instead. However, before he released his magic, one of the shapes spoke in a scared voice.

"No, we didn't come to hurt you!" the shape said quickly, hastily taking a step back. Sirius focused on it and saw what the shape actually was. Dark-gray chitin, a pair of insectoid wings, sky-blue eyes with no iris or pupil, and holes in the limbs. Unmistakably, the two were changelings.

Sirius' mind flooded with the memories of the unfortunate wedding. He remembered the state of madness he was in, listening just to the pumping of blood in his body as he rushed to Iclyn, killing those in his way. The duel with Chrysalis, being crippled for the rest of his life, a life that could've had ended in that duel. And then later, the memories of being captured by her again, mentally tortured, making him unable to resist his inner darkness. Because of Chrysalis, Iclyn almost died. His only reason to live, his very beloved, his light. Almost put out, destroyed, turned into food for worms. It was pure luck Chrysalis didn't finish what she started, it was pure luck Iclyn didn't die, it was pure luck any of them got out of there alive.

His eyes filled with anger as he glared at the changelings, wishing to incinerate them there and then, turn them to ashes, and then scatter them far away from Iclyn and himself. They must stay away or else they would face the fate of those Sirius slaughtered before them. He took no pride in his deeds but he did what he had to do, otherwise who knows what would happen to the pony he deeply cared about?

"W-we mean t-to thank y-you!" the changeling quickly added. "W-we mean no harm to y-you or your b-beloved..."

Sirius snorted, not believing it one bit. He took a step forward, wishing nothing more than to tear them apart, for they were Chrysalis' subjects. They did what she told them to, and for that reason, they deserved to die. No amount of apologies would change it, no gift would bring peace to the former human. In his eyes, changelings were nothing more than monsters, and as such, they deserved what their queen got.

The two changelings cowered, taking another step back, questioning their decision to come out of hiding. Perhaps, it was a wise idea to retreat and never show up to Sirius or anyone close to him ever again. They knew his fury, his unstoppable rage, for the tales of his deeds were well-known and learned among all changelings after the failed invasion.

"Sirius..." Iclyn said slowly, breaking him out of pure rage. One of his ears turned to her as he stopped in his tracks. "Maybe we should listen. I mean... not all of them did bad things, you know?"

Sirius snorted once again. However, he knew that Iclyn always meant well for him, and listening to her was probably the best option. He forced himself to calm down a little, subduing his anger, and yet being mindful of his surroundings and especially the changelings. If he saw anything that would endanger his loved one or himself, he would act without hesitation or doubt, making sure no harm would come his way.

"What do you want?" he asked through gritted teeth, his eyes looking at the two from under his brows.

"Y-you... defeated Chrysalis," the changeling said fearfully, avoiding looking into the eyes of the stallion. "She is n-no more... And we... we are t-thankful," he nodded quickly. "We are v-very thankful!" he paused for a second, looking behind, his ears drooping slightly as if he expected something to happen. "S-she... she was a curse on o-our kind. A curse!" he nodded again. "N-not all of us mean h-harm. Truly, not even most!" he paused yet again, swiftly looking around. "Chrysalis took the m-most love. S-she never ever fed us enough. W-we always had to h-hunt, and... we d-don't want to!" he shook his head. "L-love is not something t-to be forced out of s-someone! We w-want peace, not war!"

"And that is why you followed her into... the invasion?" Sirius demanded to know. "You followed her... You are just as guilty as she is!" he stomped.

"W-we had no choice!" the changeling said quickly, almost squeaking in fear. "Or... we would all die a t-terrible, terrible death! Y-you... you don't want to know."

"Oh, I do," the former human snarled. "Tell me. What is so bad that makes you rape ponies?"

"We n-never! We would never do t-that!" the changeling's eyes widened as he shook his head violently. "W-we stole love, b-but we would never do..." he lowered his voice significantly. "R-rape..."

"And why would you not?" Sirius took a step forward. "There is no difference between... stealing love and rape!" he growled lowly. "I know what you do... you turn into other ponies and replace their loved ones. You fool them into believing that you are their loved ones," he spat on the ground. "Disgusting!"

"N-no, most of us don't do that!" the changeling was quick to deny. "W-we... we can survive on environmental love. Love in the air, that is! W-we don't need to s-steal it from anyone directly... But only if we want to grow m-much stronger."

"I don't believe you," Sirius took another step forward. Iclyn was behind him, looking at him with worry, not knowing what to say or do.

"M-maybe, maybe our gift will convince y-you..." the changeling nodded to the other, still keeping his eyes on Sirius out of fear. "Y-you... you have shown s-something... something truly beautiful," he paused for a moment, looking at the former human. However, no reaction came. "You did the, the most... loving thing. You were r-ready to g-give your life for t-the one you love."

Sirius backed down a bit, something deep inside his very souls was touched by the changeling's statement. He had thought about it a couple of times, coming to an interesting conclusion. He was already in love with Iclyn by the time of the wedding, he was just afraid of it. It was so simple and yet so complicated. However, when it came to doing something for her, he didn't hesitate. He had done more for her than anything he ever did for himself. Maybe it was something more than just not caring for his own life. If he didn't care about it, he would not be there at the wedding in the first place. Iclyn wouldn't know him, at least not to the extent she knew him by the time of the wedding. Many things would be different if the only thing on his mind was trying to die.

So, perhaps the changeling was worth listening to. However, if anything bad happened, Sirius would never reconsider talking with changelings ever again. Not unless he had the position of power and they were at his mercy. He knew very well how a fear of death could make someone talk the truth. Perhaps, a confession is a better way of putting it.

"Go on," Sirius said simply, his voice having less aggression and more interest. The fire in his eyes turned to a slight glow, his posture became less tense.

The changelings visibly relaxed as well, seeing the emotions of the stallion way better than even he did.

"Y-you know love b-better than we do," the same changeling spoke again, some shakiness still present in his voice. "And... we have to admit that... we watched you," Sirius tensed up but the changeling quickly added: "Not for vile purposes! Chrysalis didn't know we, um, spied on you. Sorry..." he said somewhat sheepishly. "B-but... you have one of the biggest love reserves, and how you do love, as in how effective it is, it's just... We can't explain it very well because we can see it, but what we mean is... In getting love, you're a better changeling than us," he paused for a moment. "And... with Chrysalis gone, we, we think that y-you should be our r-rightful king."

Sirius' eyes widened in surprise. Him? King? A ruler of those he mercilessly killed? Most importantly, a ruler of those whom he didn't even like? It was beyond absurd. It was surreal and mind-boggling. It didn't make sense to him in the lightest. Besides, what kind of gift is being a ruler? First and foremost, it is a responsibility. It is the responsibility not just for his own kids if he had them, but for hundreds upon hundreds of beings. Adults, kids, all of them at once. Perhaps, even generations of them.

"What?" was the only word escaping Sirius' mouth as he stared at the changelings in shock. Iclyn had the same expression on her own face, not expecting that sort of outcome.

"You'll have just, uh, everything!" the changeling continued. "All Chrysalis had. Well, it's wealth, territory, and love reserves, and personal guards, and-"

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked, cutting the changeling off. "To rule you? That is... responsibility," some aggression returned to his voice. "You want to pass your problems on me? After all you did?"

"N-no, it's not like that!" the changeling was quick to shake his head in denial. "Chrysalis did it! Those who forced all of us to serve her are exiled! B-but... we do need help, and... We'll give you a lot in return! Y-you'll be able to do, uh, everything! We'll follow you! We'll serve you!"

"Even if I tell you to do terrible things? " the former human asked. The changeling opened and closed his maw, not knowing how to reply. A few seconds of awkward silence followed before someone spoke up.

"But you wouldn't tell them to do terrible things," Iclyn pointed out, looking at Sirius. "I don't really understand how the whole "king" thing will work, but maybe you should give them a chance to redeem themselves in your eyes."

"...It's still a giant responsibility," Sirius pointed out in turn, voicing his thoughts on the matter. Then, he returned to the changelings. "How many changelings are there?"

"Uh... We don't know," the changeling replied with uncertainty. "Maybe... a thousand? It's difficult to count."

"Hm..." the former human tapped his chin. "I will think about it. In two days, meet me in front of my mansion," he pointed at them with his hoof. "And! Do not spy on me," he placed his hoof back on the ground. "Now... go away."

In an instant, the changelings took off into the night sky, soon disappearing from view, the buzzing of their wings soon fading away as well. Tiredly, Sirius released a sigh, wishing nothing more than to have some rest.

"That was interesting," Iclyn commented, sighing as well. "I don't know what we should do... If we accept it, we'll have to deal with a lot of things."

"My thoughts exactly," Sirius nodded. "Maybe I should talk about it with Luna," he paused for a moment. "Iclyn... you've never told me what the changelings did to you after knocking me out."

"They didn't do anything to hurt me, really," she replied. "Just... told me to go to the main room. I was escorted there and saw what happened, but... they didn't do anything to me. They didn't even touch me."

"If they did..." the former human let out a growl. "I would not rest until they paid for it with their lives."

"I know you wouldn't," the pegasus nodded, the tone of Sirius' voice sending shivers down her spine. Despite knowing how aggressive he could be, how much destruction he could cause, and accepting it all, she still feared him in a certain way. She knew he would not hurt her on purpose but she also knew that he had no restrictions when it came to hurting those who opposed him.

"I'm sorry, I should've been calmer..." Sirius apologized, noticing her mood. "I should know better to control myself," he let out a long sigh, and then repeated, "Sorry."

"I know why you were the way you were, Sirius," Iclyn told him. "I understand it. Don't worry, we'll sort everything out. We can always just decline to become their rulers, you know? No harm in that."

"Yeah..." he nodded. "Though, now that I think of it... I left them without a ruler. I... I killed some of them, not even knowing what they felt about the whole thing," he looked away for a moment. "Chrysalis got what was coming for her, but them? Maybe not all of them are... bad, I guess."

"I suppose we can think about it in the morning," the pegasus yawned. "I'm... sleepy."

"Same here," Sirius nodded, feeling the weight of the events. "Let's go rest. I guess we'll figure everything out. Somehow."

Author's Notes:

I know this chapter is rather short, especially after a whole month without updates, but I'm back now, and I finally got the inspiration to write, as well as the ideas to improve the story and give closure to arcs I started.

Also, some of you might've noticed that the changelings didn't answer one of Sirius' questions, the one regarding what would Chrysalis do to those that didn't obey her. Sirius wasn't really interested in the answer, so he didn't even notice that the changelings didn't answer it.

I don't know if I needed to say that but... I don't want you readers to think that this is a plot hole or something.

Chapter 34: Life

Anastasia was all alone in the mansion. The sun had set, the darkness took its reign. The cold set in, slowly creeping up her spine as she closed the windows for the night. Soon, she managed to light the fireplace, warming herself as well as the whole mansion up. Moving the sofa closer to the fireplace, she lay on it, covering herself with a blanket, enjoying the gentle heat of the fire as it crackled and danced, relaxing her. She adjusted her position slightly and rested, a pillow supporting her weary head.

Unfortunately, the day was rather boring for her. She slept in until past noon, woke up with an annoying headache that disrupted her thoughts for the most of the day. She proceeded to walk around the garden, enjoying the smell of various flowers, especially those that were foreign to her. Each of them had a unique scent, some of which were recognizable, and some weren't. There was also the visual side of things — while some flowers seemed plain and simple, others had gradients, some of them even glowed. One of the plants caught her eye — a big red leaf. However, it was not the somewhat unusual color that brought it to her attention. The main thing was that the leaf was in quite a bad shape: tattered, torn, in some places broken. Purple juice seeped from its "wounds", dropping on the ground and quickly evaporating. As Anastasia walked closer to it, the plant seemed to turn to her. And yet, despite its poor state, the girl didn't pity it. However, a sticky sensation of fear and a certain wrongness appeared inside her, making her quickly retreat, leaving the leaf.

She spent the rest of the day studying the language, browsing through the TV, and playing around with random things she could find in the mansion. She would like to take a walk but no one but Flora was nearby. The girl also didn't have any means of contacting others, making her wish that phones would someday become a thing in Equestria like they did on Earth. This world seemed peaceful but it was technologically behind what Anastasia was used to, making her wonder just how she would be able to kill the time without the electronic wonders such as a smartphone and internet. Even then, by the end of the day, she was tired, and that was when she lit the fireplace.

Unfortunately, her rest was disturbed by a gentle yet firm knock on the entrance door. Startled by the sudden seemingly loud sound, she almost jumped, her eyes opening wide. After she calmed down a bit, she slowly moved to the door, hesitation in her every step. Closer and closer, she stepped softer, trying to hear what was going on outside. For a few moments, there was nothing but silence. Then, out of nowhere, she heard... meowing.

With less fear, she finally reached the door and opened it just a bit to see what was on the other side. To her great surprise, there was a simple box with a black kitten inside it. As soon as Anastasia appeared in its views, the kitten looked at her with its green eyes and meowed softly. Seeing no harm in it, the girl opened the door fully and looked inside the box. Along with the kitten, there were multiple items for taking care of it: a litter box, a few bags of cat litter itself, a few bowls, another few bags, this time filled with cat food, some toys, a scratcher, and a small, soft bed in which the kitten was currently in. Along with all those items, there was a letter.

Sorry for all the troubles we caused you and your friends. Here is our gift to you, full of love.

Changelings

Understanding little of it, Anastasia could only get the apologetic part of the letter and that it was a gift. She smiled at the kitten, and moved the whole box inside the mansion, closing the door. She unpacked the box, placing different cat care items where she thought they would belong. The kitten was free, and the first thing it did was rub itself against Anastasia's leg, making her smile even wider. She awkwardly petted the kitten with her hoof and then returned to her place on the sofa. The kitten, too small to be able to jump up, meowed until the girl picked it up and let it nestle near her.

A few more minutes passed in almost complete silence. The flames crackled, the kitten purred — it was truly peaceful. In a short while, both the girl and the kitten fell asleep, warming by the fire.

Sirius and Iclyn finally got back to the mansion. Slightly wet from the rain, they walked in, deep in thought about what had happened to them not so long ago. However, it didn't go unnoticed that there was a new thing in the mansion — a box that wasn't there before. Frowning, Sirius looked inside, only to find the letter that Anastasia got. He read it and then reread it, his frown deepening.

"What is it?" Iclyn asked with interest. Silently, her loved one passed the letter to her. "Oh my... That's actually pretty nice of them!"

"I doubt that a single kitten would earn them my forgive," the former human shook his head, a hint of anger in his voice. "If they want it so... They're too forceful."

"I think it was more for Nastya than you or me," Iclyn shook her head. "Tomorrow, we'll find out if Wind Rider got anything as an apology. Just think of it — you and I suffered the worst, so they're offering us the best they have. But for Wind and Nastya, it didn't go nearly as bad."

"Maybe you're right," Sirius nodded with some hesitation. "We'll see tomorrow, I guess."

As the two passed the sleeping duo on the sofa, Iclyn giggled slightly, commenting on how cute the sight was. The former human looked at the kitten, and while it was cute, he didn't voice anything, having no idea what to feel about the situation. Not to mention that his mind was still occupied by the thought of becoming the king of changelings. Would he take it? If he does, then what should he do? Should he punish them, should he just be a fair ruler? There were many similar questions in his mind, none of them having answers just yet.

On one hand, he wanted to have nothing with the changelings anymore. Never see them again, never hear from them again, and certainly not being bribed by them with their so-called gifts. On the other hand, however, he thought that maybe, just maybe it could become something better. Chrysalis was gone for good, her followers banished, and everything seemed like the perfect time to make things right. However, he wouldn't dare become king without consulting Equestrian Royalty, primarily Luna, with whom he managed to establish a more warm relationship. Her sister Celestia was another option to go to, of course, but Sirius didn't know her much if at all. So, the only real choice left was the nightly alicorn. He did remember that there was a third princess, Cadance, but it seemed like she didn't have nearly as much power as the first two. Besides, he had already spoken to her about his other, more intimate problems. It was a rather awkward moment, and Sirius would rather not have to speak to Cadance anytime soon.

After taking a shower with his loved one, the former human went to bed and quickly fell asleep, heeding the wise Russian proverb his mother used to tell him when he faced difficult situations — morning is wiser than evening.

Blinking groggily, Sirius woke up in the morning, the day coming in slowly. He yawned, stretched, and closed his eyes, still feeling mentally tired. However, the call of nature prevented him from falling back asleep, and so he stood up from the bed and went to relieve himself. When he returned, Iclyn was already waking up.

"Morning," she said sleepily, noticing Sirius as he entered. "How's sleep?"

"Mh..." he replied just as sleepily, taking some time to register her question. "All's fine."

Suddenly, to his surprise, he heard meowing. He looked down and noticed the kitten rubbing itself against his legs, looking up at him with its innocent expression. For a second, he thought about pushing it away, knowing well where the kitten came from. However, the cute meowing, as well as the physical affection the kitten showed towards him, made him reconsider. Instead, he softly petted it, releasing a sigh of defeat.

"You'll certainly get along with it just fine," Iclyn commented, watching the scene with a smile on her face. "You see? Not bad."

"I guess..." he sighed again. "I still need talking to Luna. It's not just a cat to worry about, you know."

"Yeah. But how about we have breakfast first?" the pegasus suggested. "Wait for me downstairs, I'll be there in a moment."

Nodding, Sirius proceeded to make his way to the stairs. Unfortunately, the kitten stumbled, almost rolling down the stairs. It would be painful if not for the former human, who caught the kitten before it could hit the step. With yet another sigh, he placed it on his back, allowing it to ride him as he walked down to the first floor. Once he was there, however, he took the kitten off his back and placed it on the floor.

Suddenly, it hissed, looking at something to the right. Sirius quickly turned and saw a terrifying scene: Anastasia was sleeping on the sofa, unaware that above her, a pale humanoid stood with a kitchen knife in its hands. The former human was quick to catch the blade in his magic, preventing it from moving. The humanoid looked at him with its glowing purple eyes, a grin forming on its face.

"Very well, then," the Figure said, stepping to the side, the kitchen knife fading from existence. "You can resist. That is good," it looked at Anastasia. "Otherwise, it wouldn't be interesting or fun."

"You..." Sirius growled, a sword teleported right to him. He pointed it at the Figure menacingly, his eyes fixated on the nightmarish creature. "Get out."

"I am in your head. I can't," the Figure let out a short, dry laugh. "But even then..." it took a few steps to the left. "I can hurt. You know it very well, don't you?"

"I will kill you," the former human said coldly.

"Go on, then," the nightmare mocked him. "Stab yourself again. Shoot yourself again. You can only kill me if you kill yourself. Oh, you've already tried that, haven't you?" it took a few steps towards Sirius. "You can't. You know what will happen to those you hold dear if you try suicide again. It will crush them, it will destroy them. They won't understand your decision. They might know that I exist, but... They won't understand why you'd want to kill yourself when you have everything," it paused for a moment. "Your loved one. Friends. All this..." it gestured around. "This... mansion. Face it, you have everything you'd ever wanted... except for one thing," its grin widened unnaturally. "Freedom. You will never get rid of me and you know it. No amount of struggle can bring me down. Luna tried to kill me... and here I am."

"You're lying," Sirius stated firmly. "I will destroy you."

The grin of the Figure faltered, turning into a frown. Soon, the nightmarish creature faded into nothing, along with the sword and everything else that would've suggested that the Figure was even there in the first place.

Sirius let out a sigh of relief, his tensed body relaxing.

"Sirius?" Iclyn called him from behind. "Is everything alright?"

"...It's complicated," he replied as he turned around to face her. "When you were in mine head... Do you remember a, uh... a pale... thing with purple eyes?"

"I do," the pegasus frowned deeply. "Sirius... is it here?"

"...I don't know," he admitted. "What I know is, I must fight it. I must get rid of it... somehow."

"You will, trust me," Iclyn walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. "You're strong. You have my support, too," she put a hoof on his shoulder. "I know it's difficult, I feel that... struggle inside you. I know it, I've seen it with my eyes," she looked him in the eyes. "Whatever that thing is, I can say that you will fuck it up real bad," she chuckled, making him chuckle as well. "Now, c'mon, time for some food. You can't fight if you don't eat, we need to get those skinny sides gain some weight," she lightly punched his foreleg. "You know, how about a trade? I'll cook some meat for you, and then you'll give some 'meat' to me, alright?"

Getting the implication, Sirius' cheeks got a pink tint, thoughts about the Figure gone from his mind. Whatever fight he had to fight would come later, and now he could and should spend his time with those he held dear, especially Iclyn. After all, a good warrior needs good food and good exercise. The latter could be especially pleasant if done with a loved one, preferably on a bed or in other places that would allow for personal, intimate training that would certainly be efficient.

Sometime later, Anastasia finally woke up to the smell of freshly-cooked food. She licked her lips and stood up from the sofa. She glanced at the fireplace and noticed that the logs had all burnt up by the time of her awakening. Remembering to replenish the fuel later, probably during the evening or just in the afternoon.

"Good morning, Nastya," Iclyn greeted her. "Food's ready, come join us!"

Mumbling something in her native Russian, the girl groggily made her way to the bathroom. Once she was done there, she returned to the two lovers and joined them for breakfast. The morning was slow, pleasant, and peaceful. Shielded by the windows from the outside chill, the mansion was warm and comfortable to be in. Thankfully, this was a weekend, and that meant that no one had to go anywhere. At the very least, Anastasia didn't — Sirius and Iclyn still had to deal with the changeling's proposal, and that meant seeking Luna's advice. In any case, the breakfast was pleasant and enjoyable, delicious and, most importantly, nutritious.

After the breakfast was done and the dishes were washed and put back in the cupboards, Sirius and Iclyn went upstairs. Anastasia could immediately figure out what they were up to just by looking at their faces alone, and it made hers blush. Deciding not to stay to listen to the incoming moans and groans, she headed outside.

This day, another surprise was waiting for her. As soon as she exited the mansion, she saw a familiar shape at the gates. While it did remind her of Sirius due to a similar color scheme, it was, in fact, Wind Rider. However, it was not the colt that surprised her the most. It was what he held in front of him — a bouquet of flowers. It reminded her of the same move Sirius did a long time ago. However, this time, it happened more quickly.

"Um, hello, Nastya," Wind Rider greeted her with a bright smile, a very apparent pink tint on his cheeks. "I was just, uh, thinking about, uh..." he paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "Well, I like you," he said bluntly. "And, uh... I hope you like these flowers I brought for you!"

"...Uh, I not know what do with them," Nastya replied awkwardly. "I, uhm... hold them... uh... can't."

"Ah," the colt said just as awkwardly, having no idea where to place the flowers. "Well, uh..."

And so, a new day began. Despite what might wait in the future, life went on, even for Anastasia. Despite how foreign everything was to her, she was slowly adapting, and maybe Wind Rider would greatly help her. Perhaps, a new relationship will bloom just like one between Sirius and Iclyn. After all, the two were greatly enjoying themselves at the moment, spending their time during certain pleasant activities, acts of love both of them cherished.

For now, however... Anastasia and Wave Rider needed to figure out what to do with the flowers.

Chapter 35: Decision

Each and every sapient being in the world experiences many different things throughout their lives. Some of those things elevate them, others bring them down to misery. And yet, it all comes down to what choices those beings make. At a particular time of day, they would want to go outside. They would go to a shop, for example. Nothing looked out of place, the day was as peaceful as all the other days. However, something very unfortunate happens — they get into a car accident. They are in the hospital now; they might not recover; they might not even survive.

If they didn't decide to go out during that particular time or to that particular place through a particular path, they wouldn't have ended up in the hospital. They would be fine if they went outside earlier or later. The actions of the unfortunate driver also took a great part in the events of that day. No matter what anyone does, it all comes down to a choice. Each and every choice affects everything — some call it the Butterfly Effect. A chain of events can be set off by something very simple. However, tracking it to its very beginning is nigh impossible. After all, if we think about it, each action is responded by a reaction. Even then, there is some luck, some randomization involved on a very basic level, one we can't see with our own eyes.

In the end, we can theorize all we want, and yet it won't change one simple but very important fact. It's an axiom that will always be true.

The world doesn't stop to wait for us.

We are in constant motion; the time never stops. We might think about what would happen if it does stop, but... We can never truly know. In fact, we might not even realize that the time stopped. Our thoughts are fluid, they are in motion. If everything stops, then our minds stop as well. Each of us has different reaction times, and yet even the fastest reaction wouldn't be able to recognize the end of time.

All we can do is move forward, choosing our path carefully. We never know when it ends.

Later that day, Sirius and Iclyn headed towards the Canterlot Castle to speak to Princess Luna about the changelings. The former human didn't leave the mansion without his sword this time, understanding that there are still some changelings left that meant harm to him. No matter how peaceful it was in Equestria, there were always dangers; anything could happen at any time. Sirius might not be able to prepare himself for such occasions, of course. However, he could still do something to minimize the possible damage. In case things went worse than he expected, he carried something else — a pouch with his revolver. Despite being somewhat heavy, slightly cumbersome, it packed a punch not many hand-held firearms provided. He remembered well how he got it.

It was not a long time after his abduction. He crawled out of his grave, and all he was met with was silence. His mother was dead, there was no one else to take care of him, to help him in his time of greatest need. Without anyone to help him, he needed to figure out how to sustain himself long enough to extract revenge on those who wronged him.

One night, he sneaked into a house. From what he knew about it, the only person living there was an old man. Harmless, quiet, he was of no danger to Stanislav. He didn't plan on killing the man, however — he merely wanted something to eat. He was sure the old man wouldn't notice a few things disappearing from the fridge. And so, a decision was made.

Unfortunately for Stanislav, he underestimated what it would take to get what he wanted. As he opened the fridge, he heard a certain metallic click behind him.

"Hands up and no surprises," a voice ordered him. Slowly and hesitantly, he obeyed. "Turn around. Slowly."

Stanislav did as commanded and was soon facing the old man. The latter was holding a silver-colored revolver of respectable size, its muzzle aimed at the young man, the barrel looking like a dark abyss, hypnotizing him.

"Oh my God..." the old man whispered, lowering his gun slightly. "How long have you not eaten?"

Stanislav tried to reply but the only thing to come out of his mouth was incoherent mumbling, almost gurgling.

"And a mute one as well..." the old man completely lowered his gun. "I see you're not one of those damn blokes... Sit, lemme do something for ya."

Perhaps, it wasn't a bad night after all. Stanislav managed to communicate with the old man by writing notes. Having nothing to lose, he laid out everything that had happened to him. In the end, he burst into tears and sobs, glad that he could tell at least someone about his dire situation.

"Holy Mother of God, son..." the old man pitied Stanislav. Then, he pushed the revolver closer to him. "I know that the police doesn't do jack shit about that sort of stuff. They'd rather catch teens smoking marijuana than deal with the real criminals," he spat in disgust. "Son..." he placed a hand on Stanislav's own. "For yourself and all of us, mess up those mean sons of bitches. Take my revolver, take the ammo, just deal with them," he stood up. "I'm too old for this... But stop by, I'll try to help you in whichever way I can... as long as I'm alive."

A year would pass before the old man would die of natural causes. During that time, Stanislav managed to catch one of the torturers and execute him deep in the forest, hacking him alive with an axe after shooting his kneecaps. After his return to the old man, he didn't tell him the details, fearing that it would greatly upset him. But even then, Stanislav remembered the kindness and compassion well. He was glad the old man decided to help him instead of calling the police. So, the young man fulfilled his request, bringing the end to the terrible people. That's the least he could do even if it meant sacrificing his soul for the good of others.

It seemed so long ago now. Stanislav went from being a reasonably normal human to a shattered one, and then he traveled to another world after his death, becoming Sirius. With the help of others, he became who he now was. He might not recover completely, he realized that, but he could at the very least try. It would honor everyone who helped him get through the darkest times of his life. He didn't believe in the afterlife before, but now he was certain that those people were looking at him somehow, watching his actions silently. His father, his mother, the old man, all of them might be watching him. And he wanted to make them proud.

Back in the present, the sky was hidden behind gray clouds as the wind whispered through the streets of the city of Canterlot. The bleak sun could barely glow through the clouds, casting just a dim light upon the land of Equestria. The streets were mostly empty; ponies preferred to stay inside their houses, many fireplaces alight to warm them up during a cold autumn day. Ponies who did have to go outside moved hastily, many of them wearing warm cloaks.

Sirius, used to such temperatures, felt nothing but a pleasant chill brushing against his fur. He was silent, his thoughts focused on changelings. Despite what they said about wanting him as a king, he felt something was amiss. How would he be able to rule them? It seemed that their gift was one not of respect but of fear. They knew what he did to their queen and some of her servants. They knew how brutal he was in doing so. Was it a gift or was it a sort of sacrifice, an offering made to please him? Did the changelings see him as a person or as a wrathful deity?

The former human didn't want to be a king or any other sort of ruler. He was not avoiding responsibility for his actions, but he would never take what he couldn't make right. He already had a great responsibility of taking care of Iclyn; he needed to improve the relationship he had with her. One day, he might marry her, and he needed to do a lot more to rightfully call himself a caring person, one that would be worthy of being married to. His plans, desires, and expectations never involved changelings.

Sirius broke from his thoughts as he heard a suspicious rustle. He came back to reality and looked around. At first, nothing seemed out of place. However, there was one small but important thing — the street was completely empty save for himself and Iclyn. A frown appeared on his face as a sense of wrongness appeared in his mind.

"You killed my mother!"

A dark-gray blur appeared in the corner of Sirius' vision; he jumped aside, dodging the incoming hit. He swiftly unsheathed his sword, ready to fight. In front of him, a changeling stood; in contrast to most, he had purple eyes, red neck fins and tail, and blue wings. He glared at the former human with a burning hatred, a sword in his magical grasp.

"You!" he pointed the sword at Sirius. "You will die for what you did!"

With a loud battle cry, the changeling dashed forward, attempting to strike Sirius; the stallion evaded the hit, blocking and redirecting it. Having no time to reach for the revolver, the former human focused his efforts on defending himself from the enraged changeling. Hit after hit came as he relentlessly assaulted Sirius, trying to break through his defense.

As adrenaline pumped through Sirius' blood vessels, his movements quickened, his heartbeat increased, and he finally retaliated, forcing the changeling into defense. Without restraint, the stallion struck time and time again; anger boiled inside him as he realized who the changeling was. He served Chrysalis. In Sirius' mind, such a changeling deserved nothing but death.

Iclyn stood aside, pacing nervously in place, her eyes barely following the storm of the duel. Having no idea what to do, she decided not to intervene. She took off and flew up, scanning the surroundings for help. Finally noticing a pair of Royal Guards, she dashed to them, knowing she might not have much time.

Sirius bashed the head of the changeling with the hilt of his sword, knocking away the weapon of his opponent. He prepared to deliver the final, ending strike, and yet something tugged on his blade, not allowing him to finish off the changeling.

"No, please!" he heard a voice from behind. "Don't do it!"

Those words fell on deaf ears. Growling, the former human opened a pouch and finally pulled out the revolver. Cocking the hammer, he aimed the weapon at the head of the changeling. A kinetic force knocked the revolver upwards as it fired, sending the bullet into the wall of one of the buildings, the thunderous sound of the shot echoing through the city.

Sirius swiftly spun around and saw another changeling. Before attacking him, he looked into his eyes. What he saw in them stopped him. He remembered a similar look on Iclyn's face; he remembered the lake full of ice, Luna lying on its surface, and Iclyn looking at him, horrified by what he had done. That look was... desperation.

Slowly, the former human lowered his weapons. The first changeling was panting, lying on the ground; he hissed in pain as blood seeped from the wound in his head. Sirius stepped aside as the second changeling rushed to the first.

"Pharynx, brother..." the second changeling said with worry. "Are you alright?"

"I will be... when I..." Pharynx growled out, attempting to stand up.

"No, stop, plea-"

"Thorax!" the changeling hissed like a snake. "I must do it..."

"No, brother, don't," Thorax pleaded, placing a hoof on his brother's shoulder. He looked into his eyes and said: "I know how you feel, but this isn't how it must be resolved."

Sirius stood there, listening, his heart still pumping. If he still had real fingers, the one on the trigger of the revolver would feel itchy. It was his chance to end the life of Pharynx, the changeling that assaulted him. He could swiftly raise the revolver, aim, pull the trigger. It wouldn't take longer than a second, maybe two. And yet, the stallion couldn't bring himself to do it. Hesitantly, he put the revolver back in the pouch and sheathed his sword.

"Stay where you are!" a voice barked. Finally, the guards arrived, their armor clanking as they rushed to the changelings. Iclyn appeared soon after, rushing to her loved one instead.

"Are you alright?" she asked worriedly as she hugged Sirius.

"I am..." he said slowly, his eyes still fixated on the changelings. They were apprehended by the guards, magic-nullifying rings put on their horns and restraints put on their legs and wings.

"You don't have the right to be king!" Pharynx yelled, glaring at Sirius as he and his brother were taken away. "I will never obey you!"

Sirius nodded slightly, furrowing his brows. He looked away from the changelings, going back into his thoughts about their race as a whole. Pharynx was just one changeling but how many more were there? Not every single changeling would accept Sirius as their new ruler. A hard decision to make but it was clear as day.

With a deep and weary sigh, Sirius said, "I won't be their king."

Sometime later, the two ponies reached the castle of Canterlot, where Princess Luna was already waiting for them. Sirius laid out the story behind what had happened earlier that day and all about the overall situation with the changelings. Wishing nothing else but to be done with it, he and Iclyn awaited her response. Hopefully, this will mark the end of this particular problem.

"...What you told me is... very interesting," the alicorn nodded slowly. "I believe it is a wise decision not to accept their offer. Changelings are too different from ponies. We might be able to coexist with them peacefully. However, we will never truly understand their needs and vice versa."

"What will happen to the two changelings?" Sirius asked more out of interest than worry.

"If your report is correct, then one of them will face punishment. Unless, of course, the changelings issue their own," Luna replied. "I will also make sure that all other changelings that are hostile to you will be found before it's too late."

"Thank you," Sirius nodded and then turned around to leave. With the changeling issue resolved, he could go back home and rest, hopefully. Perhaps, a cup of tea or hot chocolate would make him feel better.

"One more thing..." the princess said, making him turn back to her. "I sense there is something else in you that you've not told me."

"...Yes," the stallion confirmed hesitantly. "It is... the thing... Pale, purple eyes... it appeared in front of me."

"Then I believe it is time we deal with it," Luna stood up from her throne. "We can't let it manifest further into reality. Sirius, you will have to face the nightmare lest it consumes all."

"...I understand," Sirius replied darkly. "What do I need to do?"

"We need to bring the fight outside of the city, for once," the princess said. "I think... the lake will work... Yes, that lake..." her voice darkened as she finished the sentence.

An uneasy silence fell on the three ponies. However, Sirius didn't wait long to nod, agreeing with the princess. He had been avoiding the issue for far too long. He feared it, he was terrified of it. He had no idea how to fight it. But enough is enough, it was time for him to at the very least try. If not for his own sake, then for the sake of Iclyn, Luna, all the other ponies, maybe even the world as a whole. His nightmare mustn't come to life, this much he understood very clearly.

"How do I prepare?" he asked, furrowing his brows.

"You can never prepare to face your inner demons," Luna replied slowly, a weary expression briefly appearing on her features. "Even with help, it is extremely... difficult."

Deep in Sirius' mind, in the darkest corner of his thoughts, entangled in fears and hatred, the Figure was everpresent, waiting for its time. Pale, ghastly, with unnerving glowing purple eyes deep in their sockets, it was a distorted image of what Sirius once was.

Stanislav was a human, a simple one among many others. What separated him from the rest was his experiences. They damaged him forever, creating something way worse inside him, a manifestation of the dread he felt when he was abandoned, the pain he felt when he was tortured, and the unstoppable rage he felt when he killed. One small but important detail, one thing he was afraid of admitting, was true — he relished in killing those that wished to harm him. This was what created the Figure — the unnatural pleasure of killing, the satisfaction Stanislav felt when he tracked down and brutally murdered the last person involved in his terrible experience.

The Figure seemed inseparable from Stanislav, going with him even after his death. It grew into something more than just a mix of feelings and emotions. It was ready to tear, shred, rip apart anything and everything that crossed its path, and it would enjoy every second of it. The dark spirit of hatred, it could neither be reasoned with nor suppressed. One day, it would come and ravage those unfortunate that stood in its way.

The Figure looked up to the only light shining into the perpetual darkness of this part of a fragile mind. Narrowing its eyes, it snorted in discontent.

"We will see..." it said coldly. The darkness around it started to wrap it like a cloak, soon becoming a part of the nightmare; the formless cloak hid the humanoid shape of the body, leaving only the pair of hateful eyes to glare from under the hood. As the folds of its cloak fluttered in the silent and unseen wind, a reflection of steel flashed.

The Figure wasn't going down without a fight.

https://youtu.be/iv70IxDKdsI

Author's Notes:

What are your thoughts, dear readers? I'd like to hear what you think will happen next!

Chapter 36: The Innermost

Through years of life, we gain many experiences that come in different shapes and tastes. We learn, we study, we feel, we see, and everything that has ever happened to us leaves a mark, no matter how small or how big it is. Each experience has varying significance to each of us; each experience shapes us to become what we are today. Some people become joyful, carefree, happy; others become bitter, cautious, miserable. One side might never understand the opposite. However, experiences might help to bridge the gap. Observations, analysis, logic can also greatly help to teach people how to understand each other. We are all born without experience, and we become who we are not by magic or other supernatural phenomena but through experience, which all of us get, without exception.

Evil people are not born evil. Good people are not born good. Good and evil are in the eyes of the beholder, too; it's something we must always remember. Nothing stops a good person from becoming evil and vice versa. And all of it comes down to such a simple thing as experience. It can't be argued against that it is the basis of how we act, why we do what we do, and what we think about different things. Only through experience, one can understand the other. Change is possible, even if it can sometimes be very difficult to achieve no matter how determined the person who is willing to change is.

However, even if the change is complete, experiences stay with us for the rest of our lives, reminding us of what we did and what we saw. Letting go of the past can be quite difficult just like changing.

And yet, all is possible. One just has to strive for it and eventually, they will get what they want.

Anastasia and Wind Rider had another date. This one was rather simple — a peaceful walk through the city of Canterlot. The weather was cool, the wind carried fallen leaves across the streets, whistling in the quiet of the city. The sun was in the sky, sometimes disappearing behind the clouds as pegasi pushed them to where they were needed.

For quite some time, the two were walking silently, enjoying each other's presence. Aside from that, neither of them knew what to talk about, having no experience in dating beforehand. Not to mention that they were from different cultures, each of them had a different mindset, which meant different values and expectations. Wind Rider was trying to figure out how to properly talk with Anastasia, how to make her interested without making things awkward; he had no idea what was and wasn't acceptable and appropriate where she came from, so he had to be cautious not to do something stupid. The girl had similar thoughts, unsure of how to act and what to talk about. She didn't know Commonlang very well, which was another barrier between the two. However, she was willing to give this relationship a try despite all the differences and difficulties.

The only question was how to begin.

"So... what do you like doing?" the colt finally spoke up, nervousness present in his voice.

"...I like swim," Anastasia replied after a few moments of thinking, "And thank for teaching me to."

"No problem, Nastya," Wind Rider nodded with a smile, "We should probably go to the pool sometimes again. But what else do you like? As for me, I like books. They help me study, and there are also many great stories to read in the free time!"

"What stories?" the girl asked with interest, turning to the colt. She wasn't a reader but she always appreciated good books, having read plenty when she was younger.

"My favorite is science fiction," the colt replied, grasping onto the straw, hoping that it was a start of a good conversation, one that would help him understand his date more.

"What is sci- sce- scentce?" Anastasia asked, finding it difficult to even pronounce the word.

"Science is, well... it's studying stuff," Wave Rider shrugged, "As for science fiction, it's a genre in writing that is generally about the future. Technological advancements, all that."

"Tech-no-logical? What's that?"

"You know what? I think we should take a trip to the library," the colt chuckled lightly. "You have a lot to learn, that's for sure. I'm not the best teacher, so let's go grab a book."

***

After a short while, the two came to the Great Library of Canterlot. Having a great many books, it had a lot to offer to the young ponies. At this time of day, there were plenty of ponies inside the library, coming from different schools and colleges, some even traveling there by train. They all came here in search of what the library had to offer, and it offered plenty indeed. Books on various science, books for foals, fiction, historical books, it had everything anyone would need to study and learn.

Wind Rider and Anastasia soon found a quiet corner for themselves. Taking a place on a sofa, they placed the books they collected on the nearby table. The colt grabbed one of the books and opened it. It was a rather simple foal's book of Anastasia's level of Commonlang. The book was easy to understand and follow, fortunately, which made learning rather enjoyable.

The girl was glad she wasn't stuck in a classroom but was with someone else instead. By the time she became eighteen, the traditional system of classes she had gone through for the majority of her life became stale and boring; the change was most definitely welcome. She couldn't relate to teachers very well either since most of them were at least double her age. With Wind Rider, however, she could relax, knowing that he was there for her personally, and he helped her because he cared, not because he took a job.

And so, the two would spend a considerable amount of time in the library, unaware of what was happening with their friend Sirius meanwhile.

Sirius, Iclyn, and Luna were traveling to the lake Birthwater. Their trip was silent, each of them focused on their own thoughts. But no matter how different they were, they had one goal in mind — defeat the nightmarish creature that fed on Sirius' past and negative emotions. None of them knew how the battle would go or if they would even come out alive. The only thing they could do is trust each other and hope for the best. This day would either mark a triumph over the darkness or it would turn into the darkest night in the worst sense possible.

The former human carried his longsword and the revolver. The blade was oiled and sharpened, ready for battle; the gun was cleaned and loaded with ammo. The pegasus carried a sword and a spear, as well as a necklace shaped like a crescent moon with a blue gem in its center. The alicorn had her greatsword strapped to her side.

Sirius knew very well what they were about to face. His greatest fear, his rage and hatred, all that was wrong with him, manifested in one horrifying creature that shouldn't have been born in the first place. He didn't know if he was ready to face it but he had to, otherwise, it would consume not only him but everyone he cared about. His loved one Iclyn, his friends, maybe even Equestria as a whole. He couldn't let it happen, he had to at the very least try to prevent it even if it meant death. If it was his end, it would be how he wanted to go out — not with a whimper but a fierce fight, protecting those he loved. The greatest sacrifice in order to save everyone he cared about was how he wanted to die if peace wasn't an option.

He had changed much since he was back on Earth; when he shot himself in the heart on that fateful summer night. He had welcomed death, but now he saw how good things could be; they were worth fighting for to the last drop of blood, to the last breath. He had feared pain, but now no pain would stop him from doing what is right. When he first died, he didn't care about anything at all, but now he found reasons to live; if not for himself, he would live for others. He found love, he found life, he found the meaning of his life. He cherished it greatly, and he would not let it go without a fight.

Iclyn was with him to the end of the line. Love is a strong power, one that can bind people together until the end of their lives. Some say that there is no true love, and yet there Sirius and Iclyn were; they went through many things together, and the pegasus was always there for him no matter what. She was ready to fight for him just as he was to fight for her. If that was not true love, then what would qualify?

Princess Luna thought of the relationship the two had as true love indeed, the strongest love there was. It wasn't a very common occurrence, and that was why it must be cherished. The alicorn wouldn't let this love simply die. Love was a power to be reckoned with, and Luna intended to help the two love each other, even if it meant trying to protect them from death by herself. She already felt regret about how she treated Sirius when they first met, how she rushed to help him without knowing how to do it properly; it all ended up in a tragedy that nearly brought an end to both Sirius and Iclyn. Luna had to repair the damage and make sure the two would live happily. It was the least she could do to make things right.

Each of the three was connected to the other one way or another. Luna helped Sirius find Iclyn and adapt to the world, albeit it didn't turn out so well because of her methods; Iclyn helped Sirius learn to love and become better through it; Sirius was finally willing to reconcile with Luna and make peace with himself and others. There was only one remaining obstacle, one last thing to overcome. It couldn't be let to grow more powerful, it couldn't be ignored. The three united to bring an end to the darkness inside Sirius, the darkness he could barely control; they would rather not wait until it controlled Sirius instead.

Finally, the three came out of the forest to the lake. The water was still, reflecting the cloudy sky perfectly. It was perfectly silent in waiting. Sirius, Iclyn, and Luna stood on the shore, surveying the surroundings, each of them mentally preparing for the battle. And yet, no amount of preparations would truly make them ready for what was to come.

Luna ignited her horn, and the lake was surrounded by a powerful shield of energy. The water began to freeze inside the dome, cracking sounding across the lake, echoing in the distance. Soon, the surface was completely frozen, allowing the ponies to step in. There was no going back, there was no return until they did what they had to do. Bravely, they went further to the middle of the lake, each of them ready to fight for their own lives. Sirius unsheathed his sword and pulled out the revolver; Iclyn followed with unsheathing her own sword as well, the gem in her necklace glowing with a blue hue as the same hue surrounded the hilt of the sword. Luna readied her greatsword as it began to glow slightly.

Fog appeared around the lake, cutting it off from the rest of the world. The sounds of nature were gone, replaced with a muffled, dreary silence. The air became thick and heavy, the smell of iron appeared. Out of the fog, the Figure finally made an appearance. Its gaunt form covered by a black robe, only its purple eyes were glowing menacingly from under the hood. In one hand, it held a scythe. In the other, it had a revolver, the same one Sirius had.

https://youtu.be/DbMXrKp1LGI

At first, the Figure pointed the revolver at Iclyn. Immediately, a magical shield appeared between the nightmarish being and the pegasus. Its emotions unreadable from under the hood, the nightmarish creature didn't pull the trigger.

"Very well, then..." it slightly lowered the revolver, "You have come prepared. The problem with it is... you are not," it turned to Sirius, glaring at him with burning hatred, "I am a part of you, Sirius. Without your death, my death is impossible. Are you ready to give your life?"

"You will be gone," Sirius replied through gritted teeth, "I will kill you. And if it is as you say... My death is not a high price to pay."

"Do you think Iclyn will simply accept your death?" the Figure asked, pointing at him with the revolver, "You will lose either way. Without me, there is no you. Without you, there is no Iclyn."

"It doesn't matter. I won't let you get away," the stallion raised his sword in an offensive stance.

Letting out a dry chuckle, the Figure put the revolver somewhere into the robe. It put his second skeletal hand on the scythe's handle, wrapping around it.

"Well, then... Death comes to all of you, and it is up close and personal," it said in a grim tone, slowly gliding across the surface of the lake to the three ponies. They stood their ground, not taking a step back; their weapons were prepared, they were ready to retaliate.

The Figure swung its scythe at Iclyn first, who successfully blocked the hit and jumped to the side. Sirius was quick to try to land his own strike on the nightmarish creature. It flew away from him, and then charged back in with a wide swipe, trying to get all three ponies at once. Luna was there to prevent it, successfully redirecting the hit.

"Three on one? You are weak, Sirius. You would never be able to take on me alone!" the Figure laughed as it swung the scythe again, and Sirius evaded it.

"I know," the stallion replied with a snort, lunging forward, going for a stab. It barely reached, puncturing the robe but not even touching the body within.

The fight continued fiercely as the three ponies struggled to keep up with the Figure. Using a scythe, it was unpredictable, for none of the three knew how to fight against that sort of weapon. However, the coldness with which the Figure attacked was matched by the immense hatred Sirius had for it as he relentlessly assaulted it, unleashing all he could. And yet, it was far from enough to defeat the nightmarish creature.

The Figure suddenly launched a purple orb out of its chest, sending Luna flying away from the fight. She landed with a loud thud, sliding across the ice, air knocked out of her lungs. She struggled to get up, a wound opening on her leg, bleeding onto the ice.

"Two on one now," the creature said, baring its teeth. "You Sirius can be powerful... but only when you don't care about anyone. Let go of the control..."

"Don't listen to him!" Luna yelled, finally back on her hooves.

"Shut up," the Figure replied coldly, pulling out a revolver. Sirius was there just in time to knock its hand up; the revolver fired, missing the shot.

"You must die!" Sirius growled out, swinging his sword.

"Shouting won't help you," the Figure kicked the stallion, throwing him away. Using the spike on the other end of the scythe's blade, it swung. Sirius rolled away, and the spike struck the ice. Unfortunately for the stallion, an orb of purple struck him as well, making him painfully slide across the ice.

Iclyn lunged forward, thrusting her spear into the Figure. It growled in pain, kicking her away and then pulling out the spear. No blood was on the tip, only specks of red ash. Infuriated, it pointed the revolver at Iclyn and pulled the trigger four times in a rapid succession. The flashes of fire illuminated the surroundings, the booming shots resonating throughout the land.

However, the bullets didn't reach Iclyn. A body fell in front of her, the thud echoing across the lake. Sirius wheezed loudly, followed with a cough. Four bullet holes in his body were leaking blood, which collected under him, surrounding him with a pool of crimson. He turned his head to his loved one and opened his mouth, a stream of blood flowing from it and joining the pool underneath.

Luna stopped near them, her maw agape, her eyes open wide, and her ears drooped. Myriad of thoughts went through her head: they should've prepared better, she should've been better, things should've been more thought out. And yet, nothing more could be done as the Figure stood triumphantly above the three, victorious.

"I... I... love you..." Sirius managed to say to Iclyn one more time, as genuine as ever. He pulled himself closer to her, crawling with what was left of his strength as it quickly faded away. He kissed her on the lips, the taste of his blood being shared across the two. Not the most pleasant kiss, and yet even in this state, the stallion wanted to assure Iclyn that he loved her beyond death.

Meanwhile, the Figure raised its scythe, preparing for the final strike, a horrible grin on its pale face. It knew it won, and it was the time to bring the end to what held it back. It was time to separate from its creator, for he was no longer useful.

A crack of electricity sounded, and then an explosion happened, shattering the ice and throwing the Figure away, breaking its scythe. A bright white glow surrounded Sirius and Iclyn, blinding Luna as she put up her hoof to shield her face from the intense light. The explosion left her ears ringing, rendering her deaf.

Once Luna opened her eyes, she gasped in unison with Iclyn, both of them witnessing the impossible. Sirius was standing upright, his eyes glowing brightly. A pair of glowing transparent wings were on his back, his horn was surrounded by another horn, this one glowing and transparent like the wings. A sword was by his side surrounded in a magical aura. However, that aura was no longer hand-shaped, being completely formless instead.

https://youtu.be/OTLb52dtkuU

Sirius deeply inhaled and then slowly exhaled, feeling the immense power coursing through his body. It was a familiar feeling; it wasn't dissimilar to what he felt when he wore the Alicorn Amulet. However, now it filled him with warmth, it made him feel elevated, alive. His mind was clear, his thoughts unobstructed, and one goal in his mind.

Protect his loved ones. Become free.

The grin on the Figure's face disappeared, replaced with a look of utter horror. Sirius started walking calmly towards it, ready for a fight.

"No!" the nightmarish creature growled out, pulling another weapon from his robes. It was a longsword with no tip, its blade almost completely rectangular. The sword of an executioner. The stallion remained calm and collected, unphased by the weapon. Nothing could scare him now — he would go against anything if he had to. He could lift a mountain if that meant protecting those he cared about. And now, he was going forward and only forward.

Sirius dashed towards the Figure with a loud battle cry, going in for a stab, his wings propelling him forward. The nightmare barely evaded it, responding with his own strike, trying to get to the stallion. He successfully dodged, jumping aside with the help of his wings. He glanced at the other two ponies, a brief smile appearing on his face. And even then, he couldn't be reached by the sword of his opponent as he blocked and evaded the hits.

Iclyn and Luna were astonished, standing aside, watching Sirius fight. There was no rage, no hatred, only the genuine desire to protect. The best defense is offense, many people say, and in this case, it is. The Figure couldn't be allowed to exist, it must be destroyed in order to have peace and safety.

The two combatants moved swiftly, each trying to get the other, and yet none succeeded just yet. The Figure was panicking, swinging its sword erratically, its breath heavy and fast. Sirius was calm, methodically defending himself and making his own strikes, looking for the window of opportunity. Until it showed, he would endure anything the Figure could come up with, knowing well that it was finally scared of him. The tables had turned.

The pace of the battle quickened as the Figure tried to get to the stallion, collecting all the rage and hatred and unleashing it through the blade. Sirius used his longsword to deflect the blows, still looking out for an opening to strike. He knew himself, he knew what the Figure was capable of with a sword. It went both ways, but the new power he had didn't come solely from within — it was love from those he cared about. It was something the Figure would never be able to come close to understanding, much less defending against.

Finally, the moment was there. Sirius swung his sword swiftly, cutting off one of the hands. The nightmarish creature howled in pain as it pulled out the revolver with another hand. A click sounded — the revolver was empty.

With a loud crack, Sirius thrust through the skull of the Figure. In a moment, its body became limp and it fell on the ice, dead. Soon, its body started disappearing, turning into dry red specks of ash, scattering across the ice of the lake.

A few moments were spent in silence as the wind carried the ash away. The new wings and horn faded soon, leaving Sirius just how he was before, and yet there was one small but very important change.

"Sirius..." Iclyn was the first to break the silence. "You... you have the mark now."

And true it was. On his flanks, an image appeared — his sword was now his special mark as well. Behind the sword, there was a simple shield, half of it being icy-cyan, and the other being white; the shield had a thin blue edge.

Sirius let out a deep sigh of relief, sheathing his sword. He returned to Iclyn and kissed her again, and this time it was a soft and loving kiss, a peaceful one. Then he went to Luna and hugged her, showing his appreciation.

"How do you feel?" Luna asked him quietly.

"...Relieved," he replied after a few moments of thought, "And I feel I can do... anything," he glanced at his flank, a smile appearing on his face, "And I know what I will do."

Author's Notes:

What do you think about this chapter and the music I included? I would very much like to hear!

I sure feel satisfied with what I've written and composed.

Epilogue: The Future

Tired, bruised, and yet happy. That was how each of the three ponies felt as they slowly made their way back to Canterlot, exhausted physically and mentally. Sirius was carrying Iclyn on his back; she was the most tired of the three. Luna was walking alongside the stallion, a bright look on her face and a bounce in her steps. Despite everything that had happened between herself and him, they managed to get along, and this battle solidified their mutual trust. However, there was one unanswered question.

"Sirius... Can you recall what happened at the moment when... when it seemed we lost?" she asked hesitantly.

"...At first, I felt pain from the wounds," Sirius slowly replied. "And then, nothing. A very long moment of nothing, and the only thing I felt was a fading trace of that seemingly latest kiss... But then I felt a surge of power, a feel of warmth and... something else. It was like... a huge relief after a very tiring day..." he trailed off for a brief moment, "But then I realized what I can do. I realized that what I must do isn't to kill in rage but... protect those I love. I put my rage behind and put Iclyn and you in front of me. I realized that this... nightmare that was inside me, it fed on my negative. Fear, hate, anger, all of it fed that thing. And all I needed to do to defeat it was... to let go. To reevaluate what I need, what I truly need."

A long while passed in silence as Sirius thought, trying to find the words to describe his experience. He gazed off into the distance.

"What you experienced is partial ascension, Sirius," Luna said. "In the past, alicorns were born through great deeds. World-saving deeds... like my sister and I. Powerful magic comes to those in dire times if their intentions are pure. The realization you had... it purified your mind. You saw the truth, and for that, you were rewarded... You have sacrificed your life in a certain sense. You are no longer who you used to be, you are..."

"Better?" Sirius asked, and Luna nodded. "I... I suppose that's truth. I feel better. It's like... pressure I felt for years is gone.

"You sacrificed yourself not in hatred for the nightmare, but in the love of Iclyn. The powers that be granted you the ability to defeat your fears because you have shown that you have good, pure intentions. And so... you defeated it, setting yourself free and making sure that those you care about are out of the harm's way."

"I still don't understand why it happened..." the stallion admitted. "One moment, I lay on the ground... the other, I am standing, feeling like I could lift mountains."

"Because you could lift mountains. Temporarily," the alicorn said. "Maybe in the future, you will be an alicorn. I see you have already earned your destiny," she gestured at his flank.

"...I suppose, yes," he nodded, looking at the image of sword and shield.

"Just remember, those who seek to become alicorns, never do," Luna warned. "This power doesn't come to those that want it, only to those who deserve it and need it."

"I'm not looking for that," Sirius shook his head. "I'm there for Iclyn. She's everything I could ask for," he turned his head to look at her. By that time, she had fallen asleep on his back. The stallion chuckled softly, "I love her. She loves me. There's... really not much else I could ask for."

"What are you planning for the future, then?" the alicorn asked with interest.

Slowly, Sirius leaned in and quietly whispered, "I want to marry her."

Letting out a tiny gasp, Luna smiled brightly at the stallion and said, "Oh my... can't say I'm surprised, but in any case, it puts a smile on my face."

"Just keep it secretly for now," the stallion added, "It'll be a surprise."

"Of course," Luna nodded in agreement, "And what would come next?"

"I'm not sure just yet, but I think I have an idea," he glanced at his flank, "I'll talk about it with Iclyn before making decision."

Meanwhile, far away from Equestria, the changelings gathered in the throne room of their hive. The throne was vacant for some time now, and they needed a new ruler; they needed someone to lead them into the future. Sirius had refused to take the mantle of their king, but a new candidate arose in his place. A changeling.

"Brothers and sisters..." the changeling by the name of Thorax spoke, "Ever since we lost Queen Chrysalis, we didn't know what to do. We were lost, we weren't ready for something like this. Some of us weren't thinking clearly..." he glanced at his brother Pharynx and other changelings. "But I believe now it is time to move on. Our Queen did some things right... and yet she did many things wrong. But we, as a collective, can shape our future. It is time... to elect the new ruler."

A wave of confused and hesitant whispers breezed across the crowd.

"I know it is difficult, but we must do it," Thorax said firmly, "Each and every one of us must choose whom we want to be our king or queen. I vote for... Pharynx, my brother," he looked at his brother with a smile. "We have our differences, but he is a capable leader. He is strong, he is devoted, he is loyal to us all, and he wants what is good for us. I might not fully agree with him, but I understand him. And now... it is time for all of us to choose."

A nervous buzzing filled the hive on that day as the changelings thought hard about whom they wanted to see on Chrysalis' throne. For many years, she had been their sole queen, ruling them harshly, but providing them with love to survive. She was not the fairest rulers, far from it; but despite being arguably unsuitable for her position, she still managed to provide to changelings, help them survive through decades. Her death meant an end to an age, and someone had to take her place and lead everyone else into the future.

Among the changelings, the whispers were exchanged, mentioning a stallion warrior. A capable and fierce fighter, Sirius became a living legend among the changelings. Many feared and respected him, some hated, a few would even like him to be their king, but all of them knew for certain not to cross his path. They will forever remember that ponies are not just prey — they could be hunters. Powerful, unrelenting, strong hunters. The changelings didn't know Sirius' origins, but it was for the best. Perhaps, this fear would allow them to see ponies as something more than just a source of food.

The changelings would stay hidden from ponies for a long time. They needed to recover from the loss of their ruler and find a new one, and it would take a long time. They were a collective even though each of them possessed a certain degree of individuality. They were on their own now, accountable for their own actions before each other.

Their greatest loss might be their greatest gain.

Wind Rider and Anastasia were at his new apartment. It was a small one, but the colt was living there alone; it was a welcome change from what he had when he lived with his brother.

"Here it is!" Wind Rider exclaimed once he found the book he was looking for. He grabbed it and gave it to the girl, "Just don't forget to return it to me once you're done reading, okay?"

"Mh-hmm," Anastasia nodded, putting the book in a bag, "So... see you yesterday?"

"It's tomorrow," the colt corrected her with a light chuckle. For a brief moment, he glanced out the window. "You know..." a hint of nervousness appeared in his voice, "Uh, the rain's coming in around ten minutes. You... can stay here if you'd like. The morning will be, uh, clear, so... A-and I'll be able to help you with reading stuff, you know?"

"I think it fine, I stay," the girl nodded in agreement, "But do you have, uh... the... the bed things?"

"There's a sofa," Wind Rider gestured at what he mentioned, "Should be comfortable. Also, feel free to use the orange toothbrush and a blue towel when you need them."

Despite being quite awkward around each other due to the lack of understanding, Anastasia's relationship with Wind Rider was strange at this stage. They were testing the waters, trying to see what was possible to do. Wind Rider's move was unexpected but it was more a show of courtesy than an invitation to something the two weren't ready for just yet. They found something both of them were comfortable with — reading a book and learning. The colt was there for the girl, helping her learn more and more about Commonlang, which would definitely play its part in her adjustment to Equestria and this new world as a whole.

Anastasia still kept a thought of returning home in her head, even if it were just a brief meeting with her parents. Equestria was a nice place, a country worth living in, but she left without saying goodbye. She had no idea if she would ever have the chance to see those she knew before, but she kept this hope in the corner of her mind. After all, miracles happen, and her friend Sirius was an example of one. Was it a perfect miracle? Perhaps not, but it was enough to convince the girl that anything was possible, no matter how difficult it was to achieve.

Now, however, she was focused on getting to know Wind Rider. To her, he was a small talking unicorn — something out of a fairy tale. And yet, it was all real, and she was in the middle of it.

Perhaps, one day, she would settle down in this new world. But until then, she would need to study and learn. Thankfully, she had just the right pony for it.

"Congratulations, Sirius! That mark looks very good on you," Flora greeted Sirius and Iclyn as they finally returned to the mansion. The filly was still asleep, snoring softly on the back of the stallion, nuzzling into his neck.

"Thank you," the stallion nodded, "If it's not much to ask... can you make some good tea for us?"

"Oh, yes, of course! Where would you like me to bring it?"

"The living room. We'll be by the fireplace," Sirius replied as he carried Iclyn to the main building. He opened the door and walked inside. The hall wasn't lit, only the dim light from the outside shone through the windows. Distant thunder rolled across the land but was muffled as Sirius closed the door and went further into the mansion.

He carefully placed Iclyn on the couch and moved it closer to the fireplace. He moved fresh logs into it, added some bark and dry grass, and lit it with his magic. He watched as the flames rose, creating a soft rumbling noise. The wood cracked as it caught fire, and soon the warmth spread across the room; the light from the fire casting soft shadows on the walls.

In a few minutes, Flora came in and silently placed two teacups on the table to the left of the sofa. She nodded to Sirius and left, gently closing the door behind her.

"Ah..." Iclyn yawned, blinking awake. She let out a moan before turning to Sirius, "How... how long have I been asleep?"

"Doesn't really matter," the stallion took a place on the sofa, moving a cup of tea to Iclyn and the other cup to himself. Without saying a word, the two took a few sips. Softly and lovingly, Sirius stroked Iclyn's mane as he gazed into the dancing flames.

"What happens now?" the pegasus asked, looking at her loved one.

"I think we need some days for ourselves," Sirius replied, "And then... I think I'll join the Royal Guard."

"...I think you'll fit right in," Icly replied after a few moments of thinking and smiled at him, "But remember, we have to complete school first. Just until the next summer," she glanced at his flank, "And... we need to get you in shape for that. You're still kinda skinny."

"Yeah..." he let out a soft chuckle and then took another sip of tea, "Everything's good now, don't you think?"

"It is," the pegasus nodded, planting a kiss on Sirius' cheek, "You'll be alright."

"We'll be alright, yes," Sirius slightly corrected her, "And now... let's just rest for a bit."

The two adjusted their positions on the sofa until they were comfortable. Iclyn placed her head between Sirius' forelegs, his chest lightly pressing against its side, allowing the pegasus to hear his heartbeat. Outside, heavy rain poured and harsh winds blew, the sun disappearing below the horizon as the day came to an end. The fire inside the mansion crackled from time to time, filling the living room with soft light and much-needed warmth during this chilly autumn evening. In this comfortable atmosphere, the two ponies soon fell asleep in each-other's embraces.

Unbeknownst to the two ponies, a small dry red leaf flew into the mansion through the small crack between the floor and the entrance door. Silently, it flowed closer and closer to the two, riding the waves of air coming towards and from the fireplace. Once it reached the couch the ponies were sleeping on, it began its descent. It seemed that it would soon land on Sirius' muzzle. However, the leaf was blown away as the stallion softly exhaled in his sleep, sending it right into the fire. In an instant, the leaf turned to ashes, burning in the hot flames. Nothing but a minuscule pile of red ash remained, which was soon buried under the normal gray ash from the burning logs.

Author's Notes:

Aaand... the end of Inside series! This story was shorter than the original, but I'm content with it. Sirius' journey for the better is complete, and he has a future to look forward to, something he probably didn't think he would ever have.

Will I write a sequel? Maybe. Would you like to see a sequel? That's the important question. I will probably just leave the story here, but I bet some of you feel that there can be more. (And the sequel is out now! Click here.)

And just a small note... Every mistake Sirius makes while speaking is intentional. He might have dealt with his problematic past, but now he has a bigger obstacle to overcome — Commonlang grammar!

I love happy endings.