Rarity and Darknight walked down the hallway in silence. The wound on Rarity’s neck had stopped bleeding- -largely because of Darknight’s use of first aid, even if that meant painful cauterization- -and she had concealed the bandages beneath a long scarf.

“I don’t like her,” she said at last.

“Not many ponies do.”

“Do you?”

“I neither like nor dislike anything.”

“That sounds terrible!”

Darknight looked confused. “Terrible? I think of it as a preferable state.”

“But how could you be passionate about anything?”

“I have no desire to be passionate about anything. I exist only to perform a set of tasks, not to make judgement about their value. Even to myself.”

Rarity was not entirely sure what that meant.

“I was surprised, though,” said Darknight, changing the subject, “that you possess a chaos regulation implant. I was not aware that you had one.”

“I do. Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No. It is only unusual for somepony of your background.”

“Not really,” said Rarity, shrugging. “I assure you, they are quite common in Ponyville.” She paused. “In fact, I’ve never known anypony there without one. I don’t think the town would be habitable otherwise.”

“Why?”

“Why? Darling, because it’s built on a node of a chaos-line.”

Darknight blinked, clearly surprised. “And the town was not relocated when the line was built?”

“Oh, no, you misunderstand! The town was settled there BECAUSE of the node. It has an effect on the plants, you see. The first settlers came there for produce of all things. The apples- -if you can call them that- -are quite unique.”

“But that proximity to a node would make the area almost uninhabitable.”

“It is…difficult,” admitted Rarity. She looked down at the floor as they walked. “And there are costs. My dear mother was taken from me by a chaos anomaly when I was just a filly. My father was so grief stricken, he never remarried.”

“The effects of chaos on a pony can be rather gruesome.” Darknight paused, thinking for a moment. “But that saturation with chaos might explain your morphic ability.”

“Oh, that’s just a parlor trick,” said Rarity. “Why, when I was still permitted in school I would go every day with a different mane and coat color. I could change myself to match my outfits! But you must see that all the time.”’

“No. It is exceedingly rare. It may be the reason the Madgod chose you for this position, even.”

Rarity blinked. “But darling, wouldn’t it be easier just to hire a changeling? I can only change my color, and sometimes my eye shape if I concentrate very hard. They can change their whole bodies. Or so I’ve heard.”

“They can. But working with changelings is surprisingly difficult. They are often limited in cognitive capacity, and invariably loyal to Queen Chrysalis. That, and their shapeshifting ability is limited.”

“But I’ve heard they can make perfect copies of any pony at all!”

“They can,” said Darknight, “and that’s the limitation. Changelings can only copy. They do not have the capacity to create anything unique. No creativity, no inspiration. You can take the shape of ponies who have never existed.”

“I’m afraid I don’t really see how that is a benefit.”

“I do,” said Darknight, simply. “Although in total it makes you somewhat limited in how you can be deployed. Sunset was correct, you know. You are unusual here in that you lack combat skills of any kind. This puts you in a highly vulnerable situation.”

“I’m only vulnerable around stallions that I like.”

That statement seemed to have no effect on Darknight, to Rarity’s slight disappointment.

Suddenly, a chime rang through the hallways. Darknight looked up, and his horn glowed with a deep navy blue. A magical projection appeared near his head, acting as an interface to the facility’s central systems.

“Ah,” he said, sounding somewhat pleased. “Rainbow Dash has just returned from her sabbatical to Griffonstone.”

“Rainbow Dash?”

“Do you know her?”

“No,” said Rarity. She furrowed her brow. “But I feel like I’ve heard it somewhere before. I can’t place it, though…”

“If you would like, I can introduce you to her.”

Rarity looked up and smiled. “Darling, if it goes anything at all like it did with Sunset, I think you had better be there.”

The two of them changed course, and Rarity was led to a large circular room. She looked up only to find that she could not see the ceiling overhead. It was an enormous hollow cylinder, lit only by dim lights placed at intervals on one side. The only thing occupying the space were several more of the floating mechanical spheres. Most were floating lazily, but one diverted from the swarm long enough to check Rarity and Darknight. The light turned magenta for Rarity, but rose for Darknight.

“Why was it a different color for you?” she asked.

“It recognizes me as a noncan.”

“Oh. Well, I like your color better. Mine was too…saturated.”

“Here she comes,” said Darknight, looking up into the dimly lit channel above. “You might want to stand back.”

Rarity did not know what he meant, and she looked up too. His vision must have been unusually good, as she saw nothing- -at first. Then, suddenly, she saw something came falling through the column at immense speed.

“Oh my Discord!” cried Rarity as she realized that it was a pony. Before she could say anything else, though, the dropping body reached the floor and twisted, extending a pair of brilliant blue wings. There was a small explosion as she landed, and the gust of air from the sudden brake nearly knocked Rarity over.

“I told you to stand back,” said Darknight.

“Darkbutt!” cried the pony who had just landed. “You came to greet me! I didn’t know you cared. Did you finally grow a pair and decide to ask me out?”

Rarity looked to the pony who had landed. She was, of course, a Pegasus pony. Like all of her kind, she was slightly more diminutive than the other races. Her appearance, though, was anything but ordinary, and Rarity felt herself gawking at her rainbow-colored mane. If it was died that way, it was unbelievably tacky; of course, if it had grown in that way, it was an extremely rare trait. But still tacky.

Her clothing did nothing to complement her choice of mane color. The majority of the outfit consisted of an extensive camouflage-patterned cloak. Whatever she was wearing underneath was relatively form-fitting and light, but was “accessorized” with bandoleers and other sorts of ammunition straps. The accessory that caught Rarity’s eye most closely, though, was a necklace. It was large and bulky, and to her horror Rarity realized that the primary “jewel” in its center was in fact the severed horn of a white unicorn. It was flanked by feathers of various colors, small bones, and several hard objects that Rarity could not identify.

“I assure you, Rainbow Dash,” said Darknight, still with a completely neutral tone, “I have no interest in you in that sense. You are quite unattractive.”

“Says you. I think I look awesome! If I ever found another me? I’d pin her down and spread her wings whether she wants it or not!” Her violet irises slowly drifted from Darknight to Rarity. “And who the buck are you?” she asked. “And why are you so shiny?”

It was then that Rarity remembered where she had heard the name “Rainbow Dash” before. A hundred black-and white images seemed to flood back into her memory, and she realized that none of them did justice to the gauche mane that she now saw in full color. “You- -I know you! You used to live in Ponyville!”

A spark seemed to flicker in Rainbow Dash’s eyes and she smiled. “Is that where you’re from, cutie? Because you’re right. But the fact that you’re, you know, alive probably means we never met face to face.”

“You were the Circuit Strangler!” gasped Rarity, taking a step back.

Rainbow Dash laughed. “No, I AM the ‘Circuit Strangler’. Which is a terrible name, because I only strangled like, eleven ponies. I always kind of preferred gutting.” She shrugged. “But three of those were children, so I guess the press really took off with it. Go figure.”

“But- -they caught you! And they executed you!”

“Clearly not,” noted Darknight.

“Yeah, it took them forever. For the longest time they thought I was thirty seven different serial killers. Those unlaw idiots didn’t think a pony could move between those areas so fast. No offense, though.”

“I am not capable of being offended,” noted Darknight.

“So, yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “Five hundred and ninety six death-penalty sentences.”

“But if you get accepted as a Watcher,” explained Darknight, “your sentences are belayed. Indefinitely, so long as you serve.”

Rarity looked at him, and then at Rainbow Dash. She could not believe what she was hearing, or that she was standing in the presence of the most vicious, sadistic serial killer in Equestrian history. It made her sick too look into those strange violet eyes. Instead of seeing the cold emptiness that a pony so horrible should have held, they looked like the eyes of any other pony. SHE looked like any other pony.

“So,” said Darknight. “Was your trip to Griffonstone eventful?”

“Buck yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, holding up her necklace. Rarity nearly vomited when she realized that the hard things attached to it were griffon beaks. “Actually, check this out!” She reached under her cloak toward a saddlebag, and rarity caught a glimpse of an enormous folded rifle that she was concealing beneath, among several other smaller guns.

From the bag, Rainbow Dash produced a small griffon skull. It had already been stripped of flesh, but not yet bleached. There was a narrow bullet hole in one temple.

“And who was this?”

“Her name was Gabby, apparently,” said Rainbow Dash. “You would not BELIEVE the fight she put up. I mean, she was completely spastic! I had to put one in her gut just to keep her from flitting around. Here’s a picture.” She gave a picture to Darknight, who levitated it in his magic. He showed it to Rarity. It was a picture of a dark colored griffon child standing with what Rarity suspected were her parents. She was smiling broadly and looked so happy.

“Yeah, she was still in great condition, though,” said Rainbow Dash, putting the trophy skull back. “I sent her skin off to the taxidermist. You know, the good one out in Vanhoover. I’m going to get her stuffed. I was thinking of having her in a standing position, holding a lantern. Like one of those lawn jockeys.”

Rarity nearly fainted at the idea of how tacky that was. “You…you murdered a griffon,” she whispered.

“Their griffons,” sneered Rainbow Dash. “It’s called ‘culling’. You know how they breed.”

“And…you were sent on a mission to kill children?”

Rainbow Dash laughed. “Mission? No, of course not! I was on vacation!”

“Vacation?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash lowered her head in a parody of a real curtsy. “Introducing Rainbow Dash, the greatest huntsmare to ever live! Specializing in anything that can talk.” She stood up and reached into her bag. She produced several strips of leathery material, and reached out as if to give one to Rarity or Darknight. “Do you want some?”

“What…what is it?”

“Pure deliciousness! Come on, it’s awesome! I made it myself! Try it! Try it now!”

She turned it toward Darknight, and he declined. “I can’t,” he said. “I can only eat soylent. If I eat anything else, I will probably die.” He looked at the snack. “I am curious, though. Is that griffon?”

“Eew! Heck no!” said Rainbow Dash, looking disgusted. “I had them vacuum sealed and frozen. I’m not going to waste that much white meat on jerky!”

“Jerky?” said Rarity, not knowing what that meant.

“Yeah. This was made from genuine pony. Or more specifically pony veal, if you know what I mean.”

No pony took it, and Rainbow Dash shrugged. She opened her mouth, revealing the fact that her teeth had been sharpened, and took a bite of the meat, chewing it with great pleasure.

Pinkie Pie leaned her head in close to where Rainbow Dash was chewing. “You have to be careful, Dashie!” she said with a giggle. “You are what you eat! And you might get a little…jerky!”

All three of the other ponies jumped, with Rarity and Rainbow Dash both crying out in surprise. “Pinkie!” cried Rainbow Dash, angrily.

“I recommend the sweetbreads!” said Pinkie. “That’ll make you sweet! Or it will make you a thymus. One of the two!”

Rarity was both flummoxed and confused. She had no idea where Pinkie Pie had come from, or why she suddenly knew the name of a mare that she had never met in her life. Looking at her, though, it became immediately clear. She was dressed in a system of black and blood-red robes that would have been quite revealing had she not been wearing a rather modest garment beneath. Rarity recognized the format instantly, but never thought that she would ever see the vestments of a Priestess of Chaos in person.

“Aww,” said Pinkie, bouncing with excessive energy, “no reason to be flummoxed and confused, Rarity! I’m just your friendly neighborhood Pinkie Pie! And I’m not going to take your sweetbreads!” She giggled. “Unless you fall asleep!” She now broke out into complete laughter that did not fit the joke at all. Then, all at once, she stopped. “But seriously. Don’t fall asleep. I will pull pieces out of you.” A wide smile crossed her face. “But that won’t be NEARLY as concerning as the things I put IN to you!” She laughed again.

“Oh, Pinkie,” chuckled Rainbow Dash. “You’re so random!”

“I am! But that’s what happens when you have a stream of Chaos pouring directly into your brain every second of every day of every month of every years screaming obscenities and cosmic secrets and never once letting you get a moment of sleep or peace or letting you escape the eternal agony of service to the divine Madgod and his eternal will!” She burst out into something that sounded more like screaming than laughter. Then, as quickly as it had come, she paused and turned sharply to Rarity. “I’m Pinkie Pie!” she said cheerfully. “I’m a Watcher, just like you! And her, and him, and the other three.”

“Three?” said Rarity.

“Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer very seldom return to headquarters,” said Darknight. “Twilight prefers a minimum of oversight concerning her experimentation.”

“Trust me, it’s better that way,” said Rainbow Dash as she pushed past Darknight. “Those two creep me the buck out.”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “Yeah, they do.” She bounced after Rainbow Dash, but suddenly stopped. The smile fell from her face, and was replaced by a frown.

“Pinkie?” said Rarity. “Is something the matter?”

“I feel…strange.”

Then, suddenly, the entire room seemed to rock. Rarity cried out in pain as her vision swam and the room seemed to be consumed with bizarre and sickening colors. She immediately vomited, and as she did she saw Darknight stumbling as well, reaching for his horn. That was where the pain was focused, boring into each of their brains. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, seemed entirely unaffected.

“Whoa, crap!” cried Rainbow Dash. “Dark, what’s wrong?”

Darknight did not answer. Rarity could understand why. If he was experiencing anything like what she was, he would have been far too addled to create actual words.

Then in stopped. As quickly as it had come, it vanished, and Rarity gasped. There were no clear after effects, although she was left lying on the ground. She stood up, feeling just as she had before the sudden sickness had begun. Darknight, meanwhile, had managed to remain standing and righted himself. He looked just as confused as Rarity felt.

“What in the name of cotton twill was that?” asked Rarity. “A chaos storm?”

“There are no chaos storms in Discordalot,” said Darknight, opening an interface that floated in front of his face. “Reports are coming in. That was a class seven magical anomaly.”

“Which means what, exactly?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“I don’t know, I need more time and readings to validate- -”

“No, NO!” cried Pinkie Pie suddenly. Her eyes had become wild as she stared into what seemed like empty space. She suddenly started to run. “Please, wait, I’m not ready! Please- -” Her begging was punctuated with a scream so horrible that it made Rarity’s entire coat stand on end.

Pinkie Pie suddenly collapsed. Still screaming, she began to writhe on the floor in agony.

“Pinkie!” cried Rarity, racing to her side. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?!”

Pinkie did not respond. Her eyes seemed to be bugging out of her head, and as Rarity tried to help her the screams were suddenly replaced with gurgling and a plume of deep red blood from her mouth. Rarity turned to Darknight and Rainbow Dash, who had slowly approached, but they were not moving to help at all. Darknight was watching with complete disinterest, and Rainbow Dash was smiling as though this were hilarious.

“We have to help her!” cried Rarity. “Pinkie, it’s going to be okay! Please, Darknight, we have to- -”

Pinkie Pie’s body suddenly tensed, her back arcing and her eyes nearly bugging out of her head. Her face was frozen in a silent scream, her expression relaying the unimaginable pain she was in. Then she went limp and dropped into the pool of blood that had formed below her.

“P…Pinkie?” said Rarity. She poked the mare. “Pinkie!” She turned to Darknight. “She’s- -she’s not- -she can’t be- -”

“Can’t be what?” said a voice. Rarity jumped at the sound of a strange and unfamiliar male voice, and then gasped in horror as Pinkie Pie sat up as if pulled by some external force. Her eyes, formerly so pretty and blue, were now deep red. “Can’t be strawberry flavored? Because I assure you, she is. Talk to her later. She might let you check.”

Pinkie Pie’s lips were moving, but it was not her voice that was coming out. Utterly confused by this, Rarity barely noticed as Darknight and Rainbow Dash bowed.

“My liege,” said Darknight. “We are honored by your presence.” He looked up toward Rarity, and then forced her head down with his magic. “Show some respect, Watcher Rarity. You are addressing your immortal master through the body of a divine priestess.”

“Di…Discord?” said Rarity.

“In the flesh!” he laughed. “Well, not my flesh. Somepony else’s flesh.” He looked at his body. “Oh my. And a lot of flesh there is. I suppose that’s why the food budget for my priestesses has been so high.” He wiped Pinkie Pie’s face with her hoof, taking it away to realize that she was bleeding badly from her eyes. “Oops,” he said. “I can’t stay long. I’m burning this one out. Can’t have that, now can we? Although I’m sure the soylent from this one would be delicious. And enough to feed an entire army. Oh wait, MY army! I forgot I had one. Or two. Or several.”

“We await your orders, Madgod,” said Darknight.

“Oh, yes! I’m sure you just felt that surge a few moments ago?”

“I didn’t,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Of course not, dear Strangler. You’re not a unicorn! Despite being the horniest pony here!”

Rainbow Dash chuckled.

“We suspected it might be you,” said Darknight.

“I’m afraid not. In fact, I was in the bath, and the surge made me so disoriented that I accidentally turned my soap into a series of tiny llamas. It’s going to take all day to have them chased down. But that’s what servants are for. Apart from doing windows, of course.” He paused, lifting Pinkie’s hoof to her face again. It was apparent that Pinkie was shaking badly as her body began to fail and die. “Now what was I talking about? Oh yes! Don’t bother triangulating, it came from the Floater district. I want you to investigate. It shouldn’t be too hard.” He turned to Rarity. “Take her with you. It will be good for her. And by the way, Miss Rarity, welcome to the Watchers. I have high hopes for you.”

“Th…thank you.”

“Your very welcome! But now, if you will excuse me, my very bestest priestess’s heart just stopped. So I need to go. Toodles!”

Pinkie Pie suddenly spasmed and fell back onto the floor. She was still for a moment that felt like an eternity, and then she coughed and sputtered before curling into a fetal position in the puddle of blood below her. She started weeping quietly.

“Is she…is she going to be okay?” asked Rarity.

“It is the nature of Chaos,” said Darknight. “The wounds will always heal.” He paused. “The physical ones, anyway.”

The sound from Pinkie Pie rose, and Rarity realized that it was not weeping at all. Despite the tears of pain streaming down her face, she was laughing. e