Discord sat and contemplated. What he contemplated, exactly, he would rather have not known. The situation had suddenly become far less fun than he had anticipated. Chaos was the epitome of fun, but it hardly ever turned against him like this. The results were supposed to be predictable and knowable, with all outcomes clear and defined- -to him. He was Chaos, after all. If something occurred that he was not able to anticipate, it could not be chaotic at all- -it was inherently something else. What else, though, even Discord was not sure.

He had tried calming himself by various means, but nothing had worked. He had even tried watching paint dry. That was normally quite enjoyable, but today’s episode was a rerun. As a consequence, he had converted the legs of the painter pony responsible into cactuses. She would never paint again.

It was in this state of extremely contemplative contemplation that Discord had remained for some time when a set of hoofsteps sounded behind him. They were soft, but to his already pained head they were the equivalent of being poked with a vaguely sharpened broomstick. Discord lifted his fingers, preparing to snap them and convert whoever had disturbed him into some manner of splatter painting.

“Discord,” said a disapproving but extremely familiar voice. Discord swiveled in his swiveling chair quickly- -so quickly, in fact, that he took two extra revolutions- -and (eventually) found himself facing a yellow Pegsus with large, thick black glasses.

“Fluttershy!” he said. “Oh, I almost, well, never mind. You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that!”

“And you should know the sound of your own wife’s hoofsteps. How long have we been married?”

Discord began to sweat heavily. “It isn’t our anniversary, is it?”

“No. That’s next month. It will be our seventh. Don’t forget, okay?”

“Of course, my dear Flutter-Butter! I wouldn’t dream of it!” There was a twinge of pain in Discord’s head, and he reached for his forehead. “Of course, I should try not to dream for a while. It could get…well, messy.”

“Discord,” said Fluttershy, her tone suddenly as serious as it was soft and dulcet, “something’s wrong.”

“Wrong? Whatever do you mean? I mean, things may not be RIGHT, per say, but I would say that implies that they are at the very least LEFT. But wrong? I should think- -”

“You missed our daily tea! You never miss tea! I even made those little scones you like so much!”

“I missed scone day?” sighed Discord. He seemed to deflate slightly, but did not even have the joy to make it an audiable affair. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy. It’s just that…well…yes. Something bad has happened.”

Fluttershy approached her husband and climbed into his lap. She curled up there like a cat. “Pet me,” she said. “Now.”

Discord obliged, being careful to avoid touching her deliciously soft but extremely ticklish wings. He would do that later, if she would let him- -and she almost always let him.

“Now,” said Fluttershy, “doesn’t that make you feel better?”

“A little bit,” grumbled Discord.

“Now. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Discord sighed, and decided that if there was any pony in the world that he could trust, it was the one he loved the most. “At the party, when I collapsed?”

“Yes. I remember. I was so very afraid.”

“Well, it wasn’t from the cider this time. Or from eating the shrimp cocktail. You know, what with it having been left in the sun for the past week or so.”

“I thought it tasted extra strong.”

“It wasn’t that. It was the Princesses. Celestia and Luna.”

“Princesses?”

Discord nodded and looked out the window that led to a freshly prepared brick wall. “From the war. Back when I was still new. You know, before electricity or those little drink umbrellas were invented.”

“That sounds like an awfully long time ago.”

“It was! I’m very old. But when I first came here, THEY ruled.”

“Who?”

“Celestia and Luna. A pair of beautiful alicorn Princesses. Well, one was beautiful. Luna is actually rather frumpy, and nobody likes her.”

“More beautiful than me?”

“Oh, no, Fluttershy! No pony is more beautiful than you! Or soft. And certainly not with a pleasant smell of vanilla and strawberry. And cat pee.”

“I do have a lot of cats.”

Discord sighed. “But they were impressive. Not the cats ,the alicorns. I still defeated them, though. And when I did, I sealed them in the moon. For all eternity. Or so I thought. This is exactly what happens when I try to think! I should never have thought a thing at all! Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“Discord…”

Discord calmed himself. “I know. I know. But they weren’t supposed to get out. But they did. Somehow. Just like in Starswirl’s prophecy…” He shivered slightly. Some parts of the prophecy had already come true- -but others were still yet to occur. And, knowing the prophecy as well as he did, he knew how grim the situation appeared. “Somehow they got out. Somehow they’re back.”

“Well, isn’t that a good thing?” Discord looked down at his wife, confused. She looked up at him, careful to make sure that every part of her eyes was obscured by her glasses. “With them, there will be war. Violence. Death. Pain, famine, disease. The world will be thrown into chaos. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“If only that were the case,” chuckled Discord. “But we already have chaos! It’s what I’ve been working on for so long! I’ve created a world where Chaos itself rules! But if they come back…if we have to fight the war again…it will spoil everything! Just like the shrimp cocktail!”

“Well, then, just defeat them.”

“Darling, what do I need their feet for?”

“Personally, I would pickle them. But that’s not what I mean. You fought them once, didn’t you? And you’re still so big and strong, if not even stronger than you were then. Why not just fight them?”

“I wish I could,” said Discord. He leaned back in his chair and let out a long sight that lasted for at least four minutes. Then he looked back out the window at the verdant landscape beyond. “But I can’t. Back then, things were different. I was a force of nature, not a king. A swirling vortex of Chaos and Madness. I was so sexy!” He frowned. “But now…I’m spread too thin. My Chaos is spread throughout Equestria, keeping it cohesive. And adhesive in a few places. I can barely keep this physical form…if I fought against them directly…”

“You wouldn’t lose.”

“No. Not in this world. I do have the advantage. The Elements of Harmony are long gone. But…”

“But what?”

“But I can’t see them. I’ve checked everywhere. Something’s hiding them. They’re more established than they should be. Someone is helping them.” Discord shivered, knowing full well of the “Betrayer” that the prophecy mentioned. He was sure that whoever that was had been responsible for their escape, but who exactly that was remained obscure.

Fluttershy grunted softly, and then turned over in Discord’s lap. “You’re not supposed to be so depressing. Now is not a time for being a Debbie-downer. Now is a time for belly rubs.”

Discord smiled and knew that she was right. The situation was dire, but he had taken precautions, even if he had done so unconsciously. Even if he was unable to fight, he still had his Watchers. He had chosen each and every one of them with the greatest care, and knew that they would prevail- -but he also knew the faith he was putting into them.

Putting this to the back of his mind, he put his lion-paw on Fluttershy’s tummy. “I’m going to rub you so hard,” he said with a smile.