Have you ever tried to sleep with a few dozen monsters bellowing and roaring nearby?

It's difficult, at best. The mere sight of some of the things we are keeping would haunt your nightmares, if you could even sleep at all after seeing them. Regardless, we've got them stacked like bird cages in a pet shop, and the sound at night is simply dreadful.

Well, I'm getting a bit ahead of things. I should probably start by introducing myself, right? Hello there, dear reader. My name is Eris Sky, and I am an Equestrian mare who has volunteered to help ProteC establish and maintain the Menagerie Program. Princess Celestia asked CASD (that's the Canterlot Advanced Sciences Division) for volunteers, and I was one of the wild ones who raised my hoof. No doubt my high scores helped me land this position as Security Advisor. So far it's hard work, but somepony needs to do it, right? The humans are an enthusiastic bunch and quite liberal with the application of bullets and lasers, but many of the creatures that came through the Gate breach cascade are charged with deadly magical powers. Without our help, Earth would probably have been overrun in short order, regardless of human ingenuity.

That's where I come in. It's my job to use my magical training and ability to help contain or neutralize the threat of the creatures remaining here on Isla del Lamento. ProteC is still constructing a full containment building, so soon we'll be able to move this nightmare collection out of these tunnels and into a real facility. The sound really echoes in here, it's scary as hell. And the other night when the Mome Raths managed to squeeze through the air-holes in their Plexiglass containment cube... well, let's just say I will rest a lot easier when we have some certifiable secondary containment. As it was the sentry drones made them into sushi, but if they hadn't, I dread to think how THAT would have turned out. In the meantime, I sleep with a loaded shotgun next to my bed. We all do.

So anyway, I was telling you about how I had difficulty sleeping. My "bedroom" (I use the term loosely) is in an old office up here on the management level of the remains of the Oblivion Gate 2 support system. Isla del Lamento is not enormous, but even a few miles in diameter of mountainous jungle can have a LOT of tunnels underneath it (and monsters on the surface, but I'll get to that.) So anyway, we've sealed off parts of the tunnels and now it's full of this awful collection of caged horrors, and... well, I think I'm being confusing again. Let me start over. Again.

Okay, you already know i'm Eris. Hi hi, look I'm waving my hoof at you. Okay, good. Now, I work for Protean Cybernetics Corporation, or ProteC, as part of an exchange program with Equestria. This came about as the result of ProteC experimenting with teleportation, and opening a portal through which all kinds of nasty critters ran and started killing everyone. So like to make a long story short, ProteC got lucky and contacted Princess Celestia, who brought help to clean up the disaster. Confused? You can always check out the records, they're archived and many are classified, but if you're reading this, then you have access. Go check it out. My notes will still be here when you get back. Toodles!

Got it all figured out now? Great. So I'll just move on to telling you about what it's been like the past few days.

I arrived on a bus with quite a few other ponies. As a unicorn, my services are much in demand here, because of the magical nature of many of the creatures that have invaded. This being said, there were still several Earth ponies and Pegasus as well. And no, they aren't all grunts. An Earth pony or Pegasus who puts their mind to it can be an excellent physical sciences researcher. Even so, my CASD credentials make me stand out, if I show them. Apparently I'm the Equestrian equivalent of a human secret-squirrel agency like the CIA or something.

The bus took us all the way from Canterlot to Everfree Forest, and through the skeleton of the Gate facility that ProteC is still building. It's going to be huge. There were giant cranes, dump trucks, concrete mixers, and everywhere humans and ponies in hardhats, all watched over by heavily armed protective security details. Quite a thing, that. So we came on through the gate, which is crazy in and of itself. The bus felt like a submarine sinking through sunlit water inside the anomaly. Pretty amazing, in a scary and beautiful way. And then, just like that we were Earthside at ProteC Ecuador. It was kind of a blur from that point on, what with humans handing out equipment to us, and giving us a ton of training so that we could work in the facilities without accidentally getting ourselves killed. So yeah, it was kind of important. That's also where I got this pistol, these sweet ARHUD goggles, and this holographic computer bracelet. Neat, isn't it?

So we went through all that, and weapons training, and a bunch of other stuff. I could bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say I didn't sleep a lot and was sore and tired as hay by the time they packed me up on a boat to Isla del Lamento. I can still remember apprehensively watching the misty green mountains rise on the horizon as I stood at the railing, clutching my little pink suitcase for dear life. I won't lie, I was absolutely terrified. This was my first real assignment, and it's doozy.

That's where I met Cookie. He's a big jolly guy, and he is the chef out here. I was just standing there, and he came up beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. Now to my understanding, humans tend to not walk up and grab each other, but it seems we Equestrians have a subconsciously irresistible effect that makes humans want to pet us. Not that Cookie would care either way, he'll drop a hand on your shoulder like it was nothing. He doesn't mean any harm. He's just that kind of guy, friendly to a fault.

"Spooky ol island, ain't it Miss?" he asked me in his deep voice.

"Yeh? Uh, yeah, it is," I answered lamely, caught a bit off guard and unsure of how to proceed. Humans still made me a little nervous at that time. I don't mean like really scared, but it's like being around a strange culture, you know? It takes time to get comfortable with people you don't know. Well at least for me, it does. Cookie is a different character entirely.

"I bet they've filled your head full of all the stories of the things that are out there, haven't they?" he asked.

"Oh, they most certainly have," I agreed. "Are the stories not accurate?"

"Oh they're accurate enough. There's things going on out there that will kill you or worse, in a heartbeat. But don't worry Missy, ain't a man on this boat that won't be watching out for you when we make landfall," he said, giving my shoulder a squeeze with his dark-skinned, meaty bear claw of a hand. "So rest easy, allright? We're all mighty thankful for your presence here, and we won't let nothing bad happen to you."

"Thanks, Mr...?"

"Just call me Cookie. Everyone else does, and I like it, because I'm a good cook. See, the benefit of me being on this mission, is that I'm guaranteed to be the best cook on the island, if for no other reason than that I'll be the ONLY cook on the island," he laughed jovially.

I giggled too, and i felt some of the tension leave my body.

Of course it was back in spades a few hours later as we walked onto the docks and left the boat behind. The jungle rose up around the dock side buildings, cut back to some distance by the humans to provide a stand-off zone. Armored trucks stood nearby, surrounded by human and Equestrian armed guards, ready to transport us to our new jobs. Several Pegasus ponies in ProteC gear hovered above the chaos holding weapons, scanning the jungle for hostile activity.

"See you later on, Miss Eris," Cookie waved as he grabbed his pack and headed towards one of the trucks. I felt as if I'd been set adrift again, surrounded by humans and heavy equipment and noise, but I hadn't been standing long when a human male approached me carrying a rifle. "Miss Sky?"

"Yes, sir?"

"If I may." He grabbed my bag with his left black-gloved hand, keeping his right on the rifle grip. "Please follow me ma'am, you're with us."

Together we walked rapidly towards one of the waiting armored vehicles. I'd never seen anything like it before, it stood on big black tires and towered above even the humans. A turret weapon was attached to the top, and as I watched it swivelled alertly, checking the perimeter with a hum of electric motors. My guide led me to the rear of the vehicle, where the back door had been opened out onto the ground. It had stairs welded to it, and I walked back up onto the air-conditioned space within.

"Here's your bag ma'am, please stash it under your seat."

"Oh, thank you." I shoved my bag down below and looked around. Sitting next to me were a couple other ponies and some humans, all wearing ProteC equipment. "Hello, everypony," I said nervously.

"Hey there, welcome to ProteC limousine services," one of the men quipped. "We don't have a minifridge or a bar, but we'll get you there in one piece. Most of the time."

I grinned uncomfortably back.

"Don't listen to him," another voice said. I turned slightly and saw it came from the human who was controlling the roof turret. He spoke without looking away from his holographic consoles. "He's just messing with you. We've not lost anyone yet on a convoy. Just try to relax, okay?"

I tried, although I failed miserably. Finally the human who had brought me to the truck climbed in and sat across from me. He reached out to press a button, and the door lifted closed with a clank that my ARHUD mostly muted. I could feel the pressure change in the room, and was thankful for the circulating air conditioning.

"All aboard," he said to the driver.

"Allright everyone and everypony, we're rolling in two mike," called the unicorn in the passenger seat up front. I could see she was doing something with a crystal set in the dash, and she conversed in low tones with the human driver while she did it.

Then, all too soon, the engines throbbed, and we were on our way to the interior.

I wrapped my forehooves across my chest and exhaled heavily as our vehicle jerked into motion. The guy across from me grinned tightly, aiming his rifle carefully at the floor so he didn't flag any of us while he checked some settings.

"Don't worry," he said to me. "The fun is just about to begin."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," I said, the rising hum of tension in my stomach making me grit my teeth. "I'm sure it is."