Starlight Glimmer shifted awkwardly in place as she watched Sunset Shimmer embrace a well-dressed, older pony gentleman while the orange alicorn released the floodgates behind her large, turquoise eyes.

I mean, wow! I didn’t even think it was possible to cry THAT hard.

Starlight had seen Sunset lose her composure to tears many times before. In fact, Sunset was one of the most emotional ponies Starlight had even met. It was impressive how well Sunset could express herself through tears and crying. She was so good at it in fact, well… Let’s just say if the Equestrian Games ever gave out medals for ‘crying your eyes out’, everypony else who entered would be competing for silver.

Starlight was simply glad that the pony who had made Sunset cry was busy murmuring that “There, there, let it out…” and gently hushing her instead of berating her in this case. Though… I mean… I thought I deserved to be yelled at too when I went back to my village! I mean… What’s a pony got to do to actually get a little reprimanding for their bad behavior?

Well, at least he wasn’t some well-dressed assassin… Unless he was trying to dehydrate Sunset to death! A real possibility from where Starlight was standing.

Seemingly regaining some semblance of control over her emotions, Sunset managed a smile even as the tears still poured forth from her eyes. “I missed you so much…” she murmured into the collar of the pony’s crisp coat.

“I know, dear… I know… It’s fine. Everything is going to be fine,” the pony assured.

Starlight hooved at the ground awkwardly.

“Kibitz… I know…” Sunset choked out between sobs. “Please… Just… let me go for a sec… Say ‘hi’ to Starlight, alright?”

Kibitz pulled back his head enough to give Sunset a scrutinizing look.

Sunset managed a tearful nod.

Making sure Sunset was stable on her hooves again, Kibitz let go turned to Starlight. “Hello miss, I apologize for not introducing myself earlier.”

“It’s fine!” Starlight insisted, her countenance clearly brightening as she was once again being acknowledged. “It looked like you had other things on your mind than little-ol’ me.”

Kibitz responded to Starlight with an unreadable even expression. “Indeed,” he said simply. “I’m the royal scheduling advisor to Princess Celestia and chief caretaker of this castle. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Wow, that all sounds pretty important,” Starlight remarked.

Sunset tried to let out a laugh, but it came out more as a strained cry for help and the mare collapsed to the ground.

“Goodness gracious me!” Kibitz exclaimed as both he and Starlight raced for the fallen mare. Kibitz got there first and helped Sunset up to her hooves.

“I’m-I’m okay!” she assured in a not very convincing tone. “Ju-just kinda overloaded my emotions with empathy magic!” Sunset groaned as she wobbled a bit as Kibitz supported her by the right foreleg covered by his coat. “Now I know how Scarface felt when he stuck his face in that mountain of blow…”

Kibitz gave Starlight a quick bemused glance that was met with a shrug.

“Ghuh! My references are wasted on you two…” Sunset exclaimed before she nearly took a nose dive towards the ground. Fortunately for Sunset, Kibitz was quick to catch her with his other foreleg. Unfortunately for Sunset, his hoof made contact with her and this just hit her with a dose of concerned parental-like emotion which once again was quite touching in an Oh, God! Why won’t the tears stop?! Kind of way.

“Sunset?” Kibitz said as he continued to support the alicorn. “Perhaps you’d like to sit down?”

“N-no!” Sunset choked out between her sobbing. “I jus-sob-Starlight?”

“Uh… Yes, I’m here?”

“Could-hweeehweee-could you hold me up?”

“Sure?” Starlight answered as she grabbed Sunset’s other foreleg.

Sunset took a phlegmy inhale.

“Here, blow into this,” Kibitz said has a floated up a handkerchief with an ethereal light blue glow of his horn.

Sunset retrieved her foreleg Kibitz and blew into the handkerchief. “Thanks,” Sunset said in an even tone as she floated the somewhat soggy cloth back to Kibitz. “I feel better thanks to Starlight’s near complete lack of emotional investment and general confusion regarding the current goings-on,” She said as she retrieved her other foreleg from Starlight and stood back on her forelegs.

“Uh… you’re welcome?” Starlight said.

“Yeah, thank you…” Sunset said as she floated up her red geode and looked it over. “Apparently emotions directly related to me pack a wallop.”

“Perhaps it would be best if you took a little break, mum,” Kibitz suggested.

“I’ll be fine,” Sunset said in a more convincing tone this time. Managing a smirk, she continued. “I was just going to say that your title is a rather fancy way of saying ‘Castle Butler’.” Much to Sunset’s delight, this remark earned an uncharacteristically undignified flapping from Kibitz lips. “But yeah, considering he often holds the keys to what Celestia does day in and day out, it’s pretty important,” she qualified.

Starlight just smiled. “Well, I’m Starlight Glimmer, Twilight’s Friendsh-Graduated friendship student.”

Kibitz nodded. “Oh, I’m quite aware of who you are, Miss Glimmer.”

A pensive look crossed Starlight’s face. “Oh?”

Kibitz simply nodded. “Yes. Quite. It’s my business to know of all comings and goings into and out of the castle.”

“That’s um… uhhh…”

“Hey!” Sunset said suddenly as she gave Kibitz a resolute look. “I’m feeling like… just a ton better! So, you can take me to see Mom now. You know… just get this emotional overload over with. Go big or go home!”

“You are home,” Starlight pointed out.

“… Oh…” Sunset looked up at the massive white castle that towered over the three ponies. “I guess I am. Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not totally, 100%, absolutely ready to march into that throne room where a good third of the trouble I caused—”

“Fifty percent by my estimate,” Kibitz interjected.

“—Half of the trouble I caused when I still lived here went down and see Mom again!”

Kibitz looked over Sunset again, scrutinizing her through his monocle. He took particular notice of her puffy, bloodshot eyes. “Pish-posh! I can’t very well take you to your mother in this state, can I?”

“It can’t be any worse than the times you took me to see her when I was throwing a crying fit.”

Kibitz raised an eyebrow. “If you recall, I never took you to see her when you were in such a state, you always slipped past my care and barged in on whatever your mother was doing before I could calm you down.”

“… Oh yeaaaah….”

Starlight chuckled. “Well, at least you’re coming to help your mom this time!”

Sunset nodded. “It’s an improvement over wanting to march an army across dimensions and take over Canterlot Castle…”

Kibitz broke out into a surprised coughing fit.

“Er… I probably would have made you my demonic Vizier if that makes you feel any better.”

Kibitz took a moment to carefully take out his used handkerchief, fold it to an unused portion, and dab at the sweat forming on his brow. “Excuse me, but that just seemed rather extreme from your episodes as a filly.”

“Well, it all came about from a botched attempt to turn myself into an alicorn the easy way, but misused magic is a HELL of a drug,” Sunset paused to giggle for a moment, then continued, “but still… It would have been a marked change from throwing ‘I want to see mommy’ and ‘I deserve a snack!’ tantrums.”

“Well, I can tell you that your ‘mom’ is nothing but excited to see you again, regardless of your checkered past,” Kibitz assured.

“Yeah, I’m sure she is…” Sunset said in an oddly melancholic tone.

Kibitz cocked his head slightly at the unexpected response. “I still insist you take a break before meeting with Celestia.”

Sunset glanced at Starlight as if checking what the other mare wanted to do.

Starlight shrugged. “Well, since Canterlot Castle isn’t currently on-fire, I guess it couldn’t hurt to take a little more time.”

Sunset chuckled. “Well… the day is young and the banners in the castle are typically rather flammable.”

“Well don’t cause the friendship problem!” Starlight exclaimed.

Sunset smirked and looked at Kibitz. “It’s only a problem if someone forgot to hang the fire-retardant banners?”

Kibitz shook his head. “Oh, I put the castle staff on notice for that the moment I heard you had arrived in Canterlot. The younger ones are quite intrigued to learn why we’ve always called it a ‘Sunset Drill’.”

Sunset let out a nervous titter. “Of course you did…” She cleared her throat. “Okay, we will take that break, after all, Kibitz. I suppose it’d be good to see more of the castle again before I throw myself to the great, white wolf.”

Kibitz couldn’t help but chuckle. “You exaggerate.” He motioned for the two mares to follow him and the trio made their way into the castle’s courtyard, an open space of well-manicured grasses, the odd small bush, hedge, or tree, and a small pond the group all trotted past on the way to the main structure of the castle.

“Knowing Mom? Yeah, probably,” Sunset admitted.

“Well, speaking of exaggerating,” Starlight began, “I’m glad you’re the castle’s butler. I thought maybe Celestia sent out a pony to, erm… take out Sunset permanently the way Sunset reacted at first…”

Kibitz raised an eyebrow. “If you’ll excuse my bluntness, if her Highness did have a royal Assassin, I’d imagine you’d have been dispatched before your little kerfuffle with Star Swirl’s time spell.”

Starlight let out a nervous “Ha HAAAAaaaaaa…” as her expression visibly tensed.

Sunset swatted at Kibitz’s shoulder. “Oh, be nice to her! I mean, I’d consider the fact she thinks you might have the look of a stone-cold killer a compliment.”

“Hrmph… I suppose you would,” Kibitz said, unable to hide a small smile. “Still, I don’t know where I’d fit the time in to deal with enemies of the state with all my buttling tasks.”

Sunset let out another laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. My time on earth has shown me butlers can make excellent assassins and fighters of the undead.”

“Uh… quite,” Kibitz replied, clearly unsure as to what, if any, was the proper response to that.

“Also, Starlight got summoned here to fix a friendship problem!”

Kibitz raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware Princess Twilight Sparkle was outsourcing her duties.”

“Oh, not her,” Sunset said, shaking her head. “Believe me, she’d be here if Order had given her even half a chance.”

Kibitz crinkled his forehead in confusion. “Ah… so she was otherwise… detained?”

“Huh…? Oh! No, see Order is this tiny dog that lives in Twilight’s table.”

“…Indeed.”

Sunset frowned. “Okay, I suppose that does sound insane when I put it like that.”

Starlight chuckled. “Hey, I was there and it took me a while to believe what I was seeing!”

Kibitz’s expression softened slightly. “Well, I suppose it’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard of.” He groaned. “Or even dealt with! Now that Discord is back and is in her majesty’s relative good graces, it seems the castle staff just occasionally have to tolerate the odd conference room having its furniture stuck to the ceiling, filled to near bursting with raspberry syrup, or guarded by a sphinx who only gives riddles and allows for answers spoken in Pig-Latin.” He shook his head as a pair of guards opened up a large, ornate wooden door on the side of the castle and the trio made their way into its lavish halls with red carpets flanked by rows of brightly colored drapes and suits of armor. “Not to mention all the condiments and occasional slime that’s needed to be cleaned from the walls. Still, it pales in comparison to when he first escaped. He seems positively sedate now.”

Sunset and Starlight chuckled to themselves as Sunset found herself looking at the walls. “Wow… This all takes me back…” she murmured to herself.

“Do you miss it?” Kibitz asked in a tone missing his characteristic professionalism.

Sunset frowned. “Yeah, sometimes,” she admitted. “I mean… being a far-less magic high-school student certainly isn’t as glamorous as a princess…”

“I’m sure it has its charms,” Kibitz said without any condescension from his tone. “Well, it’s always here when you desire a visit.” Kibitz smiled at Sunset. “Besides, there are many ponies here who have missed you, too.”

Sunset let out a short laugh. “Hah! I doubt that.”

Kibitz smile immediately fell from both his face and eyes. “Indeed,” he said simply.

Joy likewise departed Sunset’s expression. “Kibitz, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean—”

“We’re here, mum,” Kibitz said curtly as he opened up ornate, golden double doors to a large and luxurious dining area designed to seat dozens, possibly hundreds of ponies. “I’ll tell your mother you’ll join her in a bit,” he added as he ushered Sunset and Starlight in.

Sunset bit at her lower lip. “Kibitz! I didn’t mean to imply—”

“I’ll see you shortly, I’m sure,” Kibitz interrupted as he motioned to a large dining table. “Good day.”

At once, Sunset felt the urge to shout a demand at Kibitz enter the forefront of her thoughts. Just as quickly, she pushed that feeling deep down as she took a calming breath and watched Kibitz walk away. She instead elected to take a seat at the head of the table while Starlight sat to her left.

“What was that about?” Starlight enquired.

Sunset shook her head. “I just… I think I touched a nerve. Kibitz… he…” Sunset crunched her lips up in contemplation for a moment. “He tends to retreat before his emotions get the better of him…” She stared down at the purple tablecloth atop the table. “It can be… frustrating, to say the least” She flung a hoof up matter of factually. “On the other hand, it kept him from getting into screaming matches with me…” Sunset smirked. “Unlike my mom…” She shook her head. “Who knows, maybe he knew what he was doing all along.”

Starlight smiled. “Heeeeey…!”

Sunset turned and stared at Starlight quizzically. “What?”

Starlight’s smile remained but her eyes betrayed a nervousness that afflicting the mare. “Uh… I was really hoping I’d come up with some encouraging words, but really… I got nothing. I mean, I really just can’t relate to any of this.”

Sunset paused for a moment then broke into laughter. “It’s okay! I’m sure Order didn’t send you here to help me reconnect with my old life. You just concentrate on working out whatever that friendship problem might be. I’ll tackle my own homecoming issues.” Sunset looked around and took in the familiarity of the room. Her smile began to slowly sink as if it were a boat taking on water.

“Phew! That’s a relief,” Starlight said. “Sorry, I know this is a lot for you, but it’s also a bit overwhelming for—”

“We’re in the royal dining area…” Sunset murmured fearfully.

“Uh… yes?” Starlight replied. “I mean… I thought that was obvi—”

"Oi! Is that really Sunset Shimmer I’m seeing?!”

Eyes locked into their full-open-and-terrified position, Sunset turned to face her worst nightmare. Specifically, her worst Kitchen Nightmare, a unicorn stallion that went by that oddly feminine name with an orange coat, shortly-cut, messy blond mane, and chef jacket.

“Ah!” Sunset exclaimed as if seeing forgotten specter from her past, which was becoming a repeating pattern at this point. It’s a trap! was Sunset’s immediate thought as she was confronted with this unexpected change. Her mind immediately came up with a plan to deal with the situation…

Starlight watched as Sunset, for the second time in the day, dove under a table.

…It just wasn’t a very good plan.

Images of being diced, battered and flambeed dance through her head. “Oh…” Sunset uttered to herself as she found herself staring at pony-sized black and white tiles of Canterlot castle. “So this is what Joe felt like.”

Author's Notes:

Ended up splitting what I was working on, so next chapter hopefully soonish. Then we'll finally be up to the 1-minute mark of the episode this is a take on!