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After 1000 years of tyranny and despair, one mare attempts to unleash ultimate evil, in a desperate bid to save her people and lead them to a brighter future. What she gets is not quite as advertised on the box.
37 Dislikes, 9,773 Views

An homage to stories like The Substitute Demon, ALL GLORY TO THE OVERGOAT!!!, and 1000 Virgin Mares, 1 Frickin' Badass Dark Overdude, Infinite Facehoofing


One thousand years ago, the Princesses Celestia and Luna were blindsided by the return of the Masters of Equus. The cult of power-mad alicorns, thought to have been banished from Equestria forever, appeared in the middle of the Princesses' battle for supremacy, and caged them away. The rest of Equestria quickly fell to their might. Even the fearsome Discord was forced to his knees before them. All of Equestria was enslaved, and an era of misery began.

Now, one thousand years later, a lone unicorn mare has learned of a creature that might be able to overthrow the Masters. A creature immune to magic, overwhelming in size and strength, sealed away for centuries uncounted. A creature of ultimate evil: the Smooze.

Unfortunately for Starlight Glimmer, in trying to ensure the creature's obedience, she modified the summoning ritual a bit too far.

Because of her meddling, the soul of a recently-deceased human is pulled from Limbo, and given life, but not exactly a body. Now he has to help her save the world, or face obliteration.

Not much of a choice, is it?


Inspired by Pen Mightier and Bucking Nonsense, the legends who – to my knowledge – popularized the "human in villain's body becomes Equestria's savior" genre. May your inkwells never run dry.

Teen
Incomplete
Adventure
Comedy
Dark
Gore
Sex
Profanity
Violence
Death

75,893 words: Estimated 5 Hours, 4 Minutes to read: [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]

11 Chapters:

  1. Chapter 1 - I wonder if I taste like mint jelly? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Jan 4th, 2018
    4,444
  2. Chapter 2 - When's lunch? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Jul 19th, 2018
    10,475
  3. Chapter 3 - What's a slime to do? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Aug 8th, 2018
    8,352
  4. Chapter 4 - So, who wants the first kick in the teeth? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Mar 21st, 2020
    8,240
  5. Chapter 5 - Can I have one, mom? Please? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Sep 5th, 2018
    6,673
  6. Chapter 6 - Who's buying the next round? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Oct 1st, 2018
    5,716
  7. Chapter 7 - Would you like some help getting off my goddamn lawn? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Apr 18th, 2019
    5,328
  8. Chapter 8 - Why can't we all just get along? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Nov 11th, 2020
    8,196
  9. Chapter 9 - Who's a good doggy? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Jun 23rd, 2019
    6,004
  10. Chapter 10 - Who turned up the heat? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Dec 7th, 2020
    6,785
  11. Chapter 11 - Where's some good take-out around here? [Fimfiction.net] [Cache] Aug 18th, 2020
    5,680
Published Nov 24th, 2017
Last Update Aug 18th, 2020

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