Let me tell you something that might just save your life in the future.
I am speaking to all the men out there.

If you have a pregnant Pony, Griffon, Minotaur, Dragon, Diamond Dog, or just a normal Human and when they feel like cuddling with you, you cuddle.
If they want to cry on your shoulder let them cry on your shoulder.
If they are mad at you for anything you had done like be alive then suck it up and apologize for it.

YOU WILL LIVE LONGER.

Now seeing as that little bit of info is out of the way, let us continue with the story.

It was a dark and stormy night, the wind howled through the trees.
Lightning flashed, thunder boomed it was raining Cats and Dogs.
I know this because on my way home I stepped in a Poodle.

Yeah, I know but I couldn't help myself. But it is raining right now so the beginning was sort of right. See The Ponyville Weather Team decided to schedule a rain storm for the next two days to wash away the funky smell all around town. Simply put the town smelled like sex really raunchy sex.

Now the reason I was out in weather like that was a chain reaction. Reva you all know who Reva is right, my Diamond Dog wife? Well, she just entered that stage in a pregnancy called the cravings and when it hit it hit hard. At three in the morning, she would wake me up because she wanted Hay burgers and fries a lot of Hay burgers and fries. That wasn't that bad what was, was when the others skipped ahead on their stages and started to have cravings too. So in short, during the pregnancies of all my girls, I will be keeping HAY BURGERS in business for a very long time, in fact, the owner can probably be able to take a trip around the world twice just from me.
As for Spike I do feel sorry for him see unlike my girls except for Ember all of Spikes herd all have Gem cravings but seeing as they cant chew them he and when I say he, I mean we, have to crush the Gems to dust and sprinkle them on their food.

I know this sounds weird but I'm just glad they haven't hit os completely skipped the horny stage.
(Fingers crossed and praying to God.)

Now I told you that story to tell you this one.
Today is the day W-Day and if you don't know what that means then I just don't know you people anymore.

As I stood there with my mouth hanging open I just couldn't believe what all of them had. Sorry getting ahead of myself there let's rewind everything back to this morning.

This morning was just like any other except for it being our wedding day. Now the girls were acting in that typical future bride way yes it was full panic mode as each one of them was worried that things weren't going right. Luckily Rarity and Twilight we're banned from helping, in fact, all of them were ordered by Celestia to not raise a hoof to help or they would see the inside of Discord and Eris's Playhouse. FYI the places even freaked me out, fun but freaky.

We had Cheese Sandwich doing the party for the reception, Coco Pommel doing the dresses for all of the girls, Coriander Cumin, Saffron Masala, Doughnut Joe and Big Mac's newest herd mate Sugar Belle doing the Catering.

I got to meet some ponies for the first time one, in particular, I had trouble trusting, that is Starlight Glimmer. I learned from Twilight that Starlight controlled a town much like the communist did on earth. After defeating her Starlight sought revenge and used a spell to go back in time and alter it. Twili told me she and Spike saw multiple timelines that got worse and worse but luckily she showed Starlight there was a better way.

Now that isn't so bad my girl has skills when it comes to things like that, but when I heard why this mare turned evil I just wanted to shoot her in the head to see if the bitch had a fucking brain. She had a friend named Starburst who got his Cutie Mark before her and his parents sent him to Celestia's school leaving her behind. I mean you lost one friend make some more it's not hard, don't turn Stalin thinking that Cutie Marks are the problem. The other thing about her is she thinks magic can solve all your problems when we all know GUNS are the answer. Just kidding about that last part.

But like EQ Pinkie said.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umVEBnSDJOM

Now I want to tell you about something I learned recently that really pissed me off to the point I almost called everything off and I mean everything. See Twilight and the girls have been keeping a secret from me it has something to do with a certain mirror and a portal to another world. I learned about it when a couple of ponies showed up. One was a pony with bacon hair, I mean her hair colors were like bacon not that it was bacon, you know what forget it. The other one to show up was Twilight.
Both mares were alicorns well bacon head AKA Sunset Shimmer her wings were made of magical light and Twilight 2.0 her mane was in a bun and she wore glasses.

"Twilight what the hell why would you keep something like this from me?" I yelled throwing my arms up.

"I sorry but we thought it would be better to not tell you about it right now," Twilight said looking down at the floor.

"We, we who all of you?" I said pointing at my herd mates.

"I'm sorry, we're sorry for not telling you but we were afraid if you found out you might of ..." Twilight started to say before she trailed off as tears were falling from her eyes.

I looked at all of them even Zecora my lead mare didn't even look at me. " What were you afraid of that I might have wanted to leave go back and be with humans is that it?" I yelled only to realize that was it. " That's it isn't it, you were afraid I would have left after finding out about the damn thing isn't it?" I yelled only to throw my hands in the air. "You know what, until you remember that keeping secrets is the first sign of relationship going south then maybe we should just slow down or maybe just stop right here," I said turning and leaving not even bothering to look back.

I didn't talk with any of them after finding out they've been keeping a secret from me this whole time. Getting back to my house I just stood there in the doorway thinking about everything me the girl's everything.

"Hello pot, I'm, kettle," is all I could say to myself, after all, I haven't told them everything from my past mostly about my father.

So I guess I make as bad of decisions as they do. So turning back around and running to the castle I burst through the doors catching them all before the left.

"Girls I'm sorry," I said trying to catch my breath. "Look you were sort of right to not tell me but I've been doing the same thing," I said catching my breath. " If we want this relationship to work I don't want any secrets between us so please," I said raising my arm for them to return to the map room.

"Now I know none of you have any more secrets so I just tell you the truth about my family and you'll understand why I chose to leave and never look back," I said taking a deep breath. "You see my father was a thug at first small time but he grew bolder. He first started selling guns to gangbangers then he branched out selling to dealers than to their bosses. His first big score was small Cartel their dealers in drug trafficking. His reputation grew from there as the guy that could get any weapon you wanted. From the Cartel, he went to foreign and domestic Militias and finally, he caught the eye of two groups one was the Taliban and the other Isis. They are terrorists groups that want to kill everyone that doesn't believe what they do. After he was in bed so to speak with the Cartel I decided to leave and live with my Maternal Grandmother taking her maiden name as my own. When I found out the government caught him I was happy that he was getting punished for what he was doing but then when he turned states evidence, when he told the feds that he'll help put the people if you could call them that away or take them down that's when the contracts for his and every member of the family was put out. So one after another my brother's, sister's, mom and him were hunted down and killed. My grandma was the last I still don't know how the found her but they did. I even had them come after me but the two that tried failed. After that, I went off the grid as it were until the storm and me winding up here," I said finally feeling better about telling them everything.

I just stood there waiting for a reply but no one said a thing that was until Twilight came over and took hold of my hand. I didn't know what was going on until I stood in front of a mirror surrounded by a bunch of weird stuff all hooked up to it.
https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/3/30/Twilight_successfully_opens_the_Crystal_Mirror_EG2.png/revision/latest?cb=20141029012853

"This is it," Twilight said standing next to the mirror.

"This is the portal to the other world?" I asked her stepping closer to look at it.

"Yes and to show you how much we have faith in you and believe how much you truly love us as we love you," She said flipping a switch making the mirror glow with magic.

I walked up to the thing placing my hand on it feeling a tingle before I looked back at Twilight. "When you went through this you turned to a human on the other side what will happen to me if I go through it?" I asked her feeling a bit scared.

"I don't know you might turn into a pony or stay the same," She said stepping closer to me. "But if you want I'll come with you?" She said making me smile.

"I would rather have all of you come but for now let's do this," I said grabbing Twi's hand and jumping into the portal.

Now for those of you who have never traveled by portal the first time is a little weird. Well for me it was I felt like my body was being torn apart then put back together. But I pulled through and I have to say the human version Equestria looked different not bad just different. As for me, I did notice a few things that were off first being I was the same color I say myself in the choosing stone both mane and tail also and yes I said mane and tail. See I wasn't a pony per say as I still had my hands and I was standing on two feet or hooves I was an Anthro. And how Twilight kept staring at me drooling I would say I looked pretty good. I looked about like this.

Twilight looked human but her skin color matched her fur and she had on clothes. But that did not deter me from finding out what naked human Twilight looked like. But that would have to wait for the call of nature hit me and let's just say I was horse or pony in every aspect including a sheath but the other part was still human if you must know.

I did get to meet my mares counterparts Luna was vice principal, Zecora was a teacher, Bertha ran a Bounty Hunter company but I didn't get to see Merry or Ember as Merry was in college and Ember was out of the country. I even got to meet Spike the dog yeah my son in this world is a talking dog. Hell I can't say much I'm an anthro pony the only thing is that none of the students at the school weren't panicking about me being there. I found out they thought I was the new mascot thank you Twilight. There is one thing I did decide and that was where we were having our Honeymoon so look out human Equestria because we're coming.

Screw all of you who think it would destroy both worlds or something cause if My Twilight looks like this in just her panties and bra then to hell with the worlds.

I do love them in their true forms and I wouldn't change anything but come on look at her and tell me, you would want to give her or any of them a Pearl Necklace, the only ones that can get those are Reva, Bertha, Barda, Precious, and Ember. And I want all of my girls to experience all of the depravities I can think of.

But let us get back to the main story and what the title of the chapter means.

Like I was saying today's our wedding day and everything is going well so far. I have been meeting with friends of the girls for a while now and there were a few little things that were said but nothing to start a war over. Ok, I'll just say this Prince Rutherford tried that Yaks no like Yaks destroy bit on me and I just told him that if Yaks even break wind Yaks will be introduced to Mongolian Bar-B-Que. So that little display ended quietly and quickly. Like I was saying I met friends and family members some were a little better than others but hey I'll only see them now and at reunions hopefully.

Oh, I did find out one thing really interesting, see as you know I am marrying Twilight, Luna, Gilda, Gabby, and Ember. And seeing as four of them are Princesses and Ember is the Dragon Lord but still a Princess. That means when everything is said and done I will be a Prince and all of my herd will be Princesses. Which means my Rarity gets to marry her Prince charming.

Back to the wedding man I hate it when I do this focus... Ok now like I said I met a lot of their friends and I even got to meet and see a changeling for the first time though he did look different than I thought.

As we were getting ready I stood at the altar waiting for my brides to be with my best man and fellow groom Spike we decided to be each other's best man. But we did have Shining, Soarin, Cranky, Thorax and Grand Pear standing with us as for the bridesmaids there were Moon Dancer, Tree hugger, Spitfire, Daring Do or A. K. Yearling, and Rara.

We were ready the music was playing everyone stood up as the door opened and in walked all of the brides they made it to the altar with use Celestia was ready to begin and that's when it happened. First, there was a rumble the sound, not the pony then that rumbling became shaking then an evil laugh could be heard, then an explosion. Ponies were beginning to panic but Discord and Celestia calmed them down somewhat.

"You took everything away from me," A disembodied voice said. "My children, my kingdom everything now I going to take away what is precious to you," The voice said as a figure emerged from the smoke of the explosion.

It was a pony but not a pony, mind you I have only seen Thorax and his kind as changelings but this one looked nothing like them. She, and I was guessing that it was a she until Twilight said Queen Chrysalis which confirmed, that it was, a she began to speak again.

"Well, well, well, this looks so familiar now where have I seen this before? Oh, yes, the wedding of that Colt Scout and that Barbie Mare. But something is missing now what could it be, hmmm, let me see now I know what it is the groom he doesn't have any magic so he can't defend himself from, oh, let's say this," Chrysalis said before hitting me with a bolt of magic sending me across the room.

"Oh, this is so much fun look at all of you just standing there like stupid fools while I kill your precious creature,' Chrysalis said as she shot another bolt at me only for a shield to stop it.

I looked over through my good eye as my other one was swollen shut at Shining as his horn glowed.

"Like that's going to stop me, little colt," She said as she moved over and bucked Shining, in the head making his shield disappear. "I told you I was taking everything from you like you did to me," She said as she started walking over to me. " The only question is do you want to die slow or fast," She said slapping the side of her head. Why am I asking you that I want you to suffer so slow and painful," She said stepping in front of my only to stop when she saw that my four foals were holding on to me looking up at her with angry eyes.

"Oh my, I'm so scared what are these foals going to do gum my ankles move you brats?" She said looking down at them for them only to give her a raspberry each. "Fine don't move die with the freak," Chrysalis said as she charged up her horn only for it to fizzle out.

As there came a thunderest sound behind her it sounded like the roar of ten thousand angry lionesses. Turning to look Chrysalis saw standing before her were not seventeen distraught mares with the thought of losing the husband but seventeen inraged pregnant mothers who just heard some really dumb bitch threating to hurt four of their babies and me of course.

Sitting there holding my kids all I could do was laugh as I watched Chrysalis's black chitin turn ghost white.

"You hateful cowardly bug how dare you come here, disrupted our wedding threatened our children and hurt our stallion," The girls all said in one voice.

I felt myself being moved out of the way looking over I saw Celestia's horn glowing as she lifted me and the kids up and set us down next to Discord. Turning over to look I watched as all seventeen of them stood there as a bright light began to surround them. I heard about the Elements of Harmony and the Rainbow Magic but this wasn't that, in fact, there was no rainbow light just a bright white light and it was getting brighter by the second I did a quick look at Chrysalis a saw she was still standing there unable to move out of fear.
I had to shield my eyes from the light until Discord gave me a pair of shades and that is when I saw it, their eyes. Gone was the love the tolerance the fear the hope all that was left was hatred and rage. These were the eyes of a mother who was going to kill what threatened their children's lives. Now I know that Bertha and her daughters could handle killing maybe even Luna but the others doing it, would destroy them.
So against the cries of no and for me to stay there I moved as quickly as I could to Chrysalis which was me hobbling and falling half the time. When I reached her I did a heroic leap through the air landing one foot short. Shaking my head because how stupid I was I then did a twist and kicked her legs out from under her knocking her to the floor where I crawled over her. Mind you she is as tall as Celestia so my covering her wasn't doing much.

"What do you think you're doing worm?" She asked as I crawled over her after knocking her on her ass.

I'm trying to save your life or have you notices they're going to kill you," I yelled moving to lay completely on top of her as the big bright beam of death was heading for us.

"Please don't do this, please God don't let them do this, please God don't let this hurt," I kept saying over and over until the light hit us then there was three things that were heard the first being the screams of Chrysalis and myself the screams of the girls when they realized what had happened and then cries from a baby.

After the light hit us both Chrysalis and I screamed from the intense pain. To say it hurt was and is an understatement try having red hot needles shoved under each fingernail while passing a kidney stone the size of Volkswagon Beetle.

All I know is that when we were hit there was pain and then there was nothing no pain no nothing. We found ourselves in a big empty place of white no walls widows hell if we weren't sitting down I would have said no floor but I could feel I was sitting down.

"What happened where are we?" Chrysalis asked looking around.

"Dead or Purgatory I know we're not alive anymore because I don't feel any pain," I said only to get hit in the back of the head with one of her hooves. "Oww ok, I guess we're not dead but still Ow," I said looking at her rubbing my head.

"You are half right, Brian Fionn Mac Cumhaill," A voice said as it boomed around us making us cover our ears. "Sorry about that now as I was saying you are half right for you are not dead but you are in Purgatory," The voice said quieter this time making me look at Chrysalis with a smug grin.

Doing that made her hiss at me. "Now now, behave both of you or I will let death take you," The voice said making both of us stop what we were doing.

"That's better now the reason you are here is for your judgment Chrysalis," The voice said making me do a spit take.

"Wait, my judgment what about him," Chrysalis said pointing at me.

"Oh, he will be going back, it's not his time to die but as for you the greaves acts you committed cannot be overlooked there for you shall be sent to..." The voice was saying before I stood up in front of Chrysalis.

Hold on there what she did before she did it to save her people from starvation and you can't blame her for feeding off others love because that's how she survives. And you can't punish her for what happened today because I have forgiven her and that means she is resolved from it," I said turning to look back at the mare nodding my head at her.

"You are right but I am the one in authority here not you and what I say goes," The voice bellowed.

Fine if you're going to kill her then kill me two because I'm not going to be in a place where a voice changes the rules because they don't like the outcome," I said looking around at nothing.

"Why, why are you doing this for me, I wanted to kill you?" Chrysalis said in almost a whisper.

"I turned around so she could look me in the eyes."It's not only for you but my herd as well I don't want them to know what it feels like to take a life. when you do you die a little inside and I cant see that happen not to them," I said still looking at her as tears fell from my eyes.

"I am sorry Brian but I cannot take your life for it is not your time," The voice said making me turn around.

"Well, too fucking bad you either kill us both or you send us both back and I've seen every Final Destination movie to know that Death is very meticulous when it comes to its list," I said placing my hand over Crysalis's shoulder.

"You are right about how meticulous Death can be but Queen Chrysalis must die I am sorry," The voice said as Chrysalis began to float into the air as a ball of light engulfed her and then it disappeared. "Ther it is done Queen Chrysalis is no more,' The voice said as I dropped to my knees.

I was ready to curse every name of God there was until I heard a noise that sounded like gurgling. I looked around until I felt a small hoof on my lap Looking down I saw the form of a small foal but this one look like Chrysalis but in a bay form.

"Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings is dead, behold, Chrissy the Changeling Princess," The voice said with a smugness in its tone. " Now, Brian, you of all people should know I would never take the life of one who was forgiven by those they have done harm but death did need a soul to reap and it was Chrysalis' time," The voice said as I picked up the baby changeling holder her in my arms as she soon fell asleep. " Now I must send you back I can only stop time in one place for so long without damaging the rest of the Omniverse," The voice said as the White started to fade away and color began to return.

I sat there holding Chrissy as the white light hit us hearing the screams for my herd and those of Celestia Discord and well everyone there. This noise was enough to wake up the baby in my arms making her cry.

"Shhhhh it's ok I'm here Chrissy Shhhh," I said calming the baby done stopping her from crying.

"Brian are you are you alright what happened to Queen Chrysalis? Twilight asked as everyone turned to look at me as I got up still cradling the baby close to me.

Cadance could you come over here please?' I asked, as, The Princess of Love look at her husband the to me before moving to stand next to me. "Be careful she just fell back to sleep," I said as I handed her the foal.

Cadance gasped at what she saw but her face turned to one of a loving mother. "Aww, she so cute can I keep her, I mean you're going to have your hands full and I think Flurry would love to have a baby sister," Cadance said looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Brian," Luna almost yelled before I signaled her to lower her voice. " Brian, what is going on?" She asked as I stepped over to them only to realize all my wounds were healed and my clothes were fixed.

"I'll explain everything later I promise but I think we have a dual wedding to get through after all that what everyone came for well that and free food," I said getting Pinkie to laugh making all the others join in.

Getting back into position I waited for the girls to get the hint and they did the same I the nodded to Celestia and she began the ceremony although a little shaken at first, but, she calmed down.

In th end, both Spike and I stood there with big smiles as we looked at our herds As we walked out of the Throne room as Husbands and Wives. Making our way to the party I explained what happened only to have all the girls hug and kiss me saying thank you for what I did but to never do it again. I knew that they would understand especially about Chrissy and, having, Cadance and Shining take her as the new daughter. Although Shining did have a problem with it at first but, when he looked in the little fillies eyes as well as his wife's and daughter's he couldn't say no.

After the girls saw Chrissy they didn't want to give her up until I told them it would be better for her to grow up in the Crystl Empire because all the love they have there that and the way Cadance was refusing to give up her new daughter threatening to send whoever took her away to the moon put a stop to it. I did have to promise that the next evil Changeling Queen that they try to kill and is turned into a cute filly we would keep.

But all that is not as important as this, the party is over and it's time for the Honeymoon and Like I said we were having it in the human world. See while we were there I used some of my money and help from the human seven to buy a small Caribbean Island nothing fancy just someplace where we could be alone and naked the whole time. Spike's girls wanted to go as well but seeing as spike become a dog on the other side was going to put a stop to it. Yes I said was now hear me out I know you cant change the order of things ponies become humans and dragons become dogs. Yeah, Ember didn't like that Idea either so the plan was my new armor see it isn't affected by magic so the portal wouldn't work on whoever wore it as they went through and once on the otherside they would remain the same. So to find out we did a test Spike went through with Twilight and low and behold it worked he was still a dragon even out of the armor but he couldn't walk back through the portal again not without the armor.

So with that figured out we made our way to our home away from home and if any of you are thinking of it, no Spike and his herd were not on the Island with us when we were nude they were on the Yacht nude and when they came to the Island we all had clothes on. I don't know why any of you would even think of that you sick pervs.

We did have a lengthy discussion about what happened at the Wedding and we came to the conclusion. That with all the girls feeling the same emotions mostly a mothers protective instinct combined with all the alicorn and unicorn magic that and with the others natural magic it fuzzed the Rainbow Light of Harmony with what Twilight called Rage Shift to form what we all decided to call The Heart of the Mother. Because like they say nothing is more dangerous than a mother protecting her young and with all of them being pregnant at the same time it was like a nuke going off.

But other than that we had a very lovely time as the girls called it. As for me, I found out that the human Equsrtia was not Earth thank God but after the week-long Honeymoon, I can say there is no place like home.

Besides being gone for a week meant a lot of monsters causing havoc and that means The Fianna of Everfree will have their hands full. That and I have a lot of cradles to put together so can anyone out there please tell me why you always wind up with either missing or extra pieces? Other than that, things have been rather peaceful actually a little too peaceful.
For some reason, I feel like there's a storm coming and it's not the Caribou but something bigger.