It takes me a minute to process the fact that that almost chime-like sound is the laughter of Princess Celestia, who currently has her head laying on the table with her muzzle covered by her forelegs. "The looks on your faces! I'm sorry, but it has been decades since I have been able to pull a prank like that. You really thought I was going to bring her up on charges when she was trying to spare you pain?" Her laughter continues for a few more seconds before choking itself off with a series of loud and undignified coughs. "Ahem, right *snrk*, why were you in pain anyways? Nothing in my spell has the capacity to trigger pain receptors as it doesn't reach into a mind."

"I was hearing your voice twice. Once with my ears in your language, and a second later it would echo in my head in English. I have a problem with effects like that, and it's why I can't stand watching foreign films with subtitles. If I hear the speech and read the words at the same time everything gets muddled up because of the different languages." I can't keep a groan from escaping my mouth as I bring my hands up to my face. "Speaking of which, the two of us are going to have to learn your language. Spells for translation are nice and all, but I doubt this one extends to, say, the written form of the language. Similarly; neither of us are capable of spellcasting, so we wouldn't be able to understand Jack or Shit once we get outside a certain range of you, Princess."

"Oh, well I can certainly understand how disorienting that could be... wait. The only way you could have something like that happen is if you were seeing into my mind. I must insist that you answer the question I asked before your sister threatened me: what are you? You told me who, but not what. Time to come clean, girls." I glance over to Liz and shrug before gesturing for her to go ahead.

"Short version: We are sisters. We come from a planet called Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy, and we do not know the exact method by which we arrived. We used to be humans, a bipedal species of the primate family that rose to dominance on our planet through tool use and adaptability. I say used to be because the bodies we have now are not those we were born with. We met something at a social gathering, and it turned us into copies of the characters we dressed up as while leaving our minds, our memories, our personalities intact. I don't just look like the character Blackarachnia; I have a good ninety-eight percent of her body. Blackarachnia is a member of a race of sentient autonomous machines known as the transformers. My body is no longer organic, and I should be able to reconfigure myself into the shape of a Northeastern Black Widow spider once I figure out exactly how to trigger that. I already tried the method used in the source material, so I think that might only work as a shortcut after I figure it out the long way." She taps the silver circle on the outside of each thigh and pulls out the MP-36 from one and the Key to Vector Sigma from the other, then taps the yellow Predacon insignia on her collar and I look away as her torso panels separate and unfold, opening so she can remove the Matrix of Leadership as well as exposing her Spark.

It takes me a second to realize that I can still see this even though I'm no longer looking at her. I close my eyes and continue listening while trying to figure out how I'm seeing her at the same angle as when I was looking her way. I watch her point at the Spark in her chest first. "This is called a Spark. Do your people have a concept of a soul?" Celestia nods in response, her expression that of rapt fascination. "The Spark is essentially the soul of a transformer. It has the drawback of being a physical piece that can be damaged by direct action, or even by pushing oneself too far too fast or too often. When a transformer dies, the Spark copies all memories and personality data from the body to share the experiences of that life when it rejoins with Primus, the deity of creation in their lore. Any questions so far?"

"How long do they live? How long could you live now that you are one?"

"Hundreds, thousands, perhaps even millions of years with proper maintenance, care, and minimal exposure to danger. Moving on to the next item we have the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. This version appears to be the one that serves as the collected memories of every Autobot to ever posess it, as well as one that can provide an upgraded body to one worthy of holding it. I hold it, but I have not earned it. Granted it could be fake...but the crystal wasn't glowing before we came here." The Matrix is carefully picked up and placed back inside of her torso, which closes once more. She taps one finger against the Key before picking up what was once a Megatron toy by the barrel. "This used to be a fun thing, now it's a weapon. He did something to it and I can tell just by looking at it that all the panel lines have fused together. Touching it, holding it as if to use it fills me with a sense of dread. Threatening to use it against you was not comfortable for me. For all I know pulling the trigger on this could call down an entire Decepticon armada, or it could just be a standard gun firing energy instead of bullets."

I clear my throat, loudly, before opening my eyes. "Perhaps I should go on with telling the princess what I have become before you explain the capabilities of that last item, Liz. Even though she doesn't seem to mind it; she asked about us, not our inventory. You already know my name is Sarah. The name of the character that I used to only be dressed up as is Sarah as well. Sarah Kerrigan, Queen of Blades, Eternal Will of the Swarm, Successor to the Overmind...Queen Bitch of the Universe. She was once human before being betrayed and left for the Zerg to kill her. Instead she was captured and infested, turned into a hybrid between human and Zerg. Even before becoming corrupted and having her limiter implants removed she was easily able to read surface thoughts of those nearby with enough detail to know when someone was having a sexual fantasy involving herself. I'd say i'm still a few steps below that point so far, and a great deal below a level 12 on a ten-point scale. That explains my ability to read your surface thoughts. The Zerg are a collective of parasites and hosts. Parasites infest a host body and cannibalize it most of the time, stripping out the best parts and adding it to any compatible soldier strains. Infestation can also be used to strengthen exceptional individuals at a cost. This form that I have, the armor plating, the purple glowing cracks in the skin of my face, the exposed muscles, and the telepathic communication tentacles for hair; this is Kerrigan after absorbing the essence, the vital strength and primal power of the planet Zerus. I have no intention of conquest by force, but I can guarantee that I will grow to become very powerful. The question I put to you, Princess, is a very simple one: do you wish to make allies today, or enemies?"

"Allies whenever possible, and you two would make strong allies indeed if even half of what you claim is true. It may be best to keep the two of you away from population centers for at least the first few months while you acclimate. Obviously you're going to want someplace warmer than this..."

"Do you have any areas that are inhospitable to most forms of wildlife, including plants? I'd rather not risk accidental infestations before I'm able to find a way to change a few things about how my brood will function. Zerg thrive in areas that force them to adapt, so it will help you in the long run as well."

"Sarah, what do you mean by your brood? Kerrigan couldn't create drones," I smile and reach into the armored tendrils that have replaced my hair as Liz points out the percieved flaw, withdrawing it after a moment with the second set of eyes I'd discovered on my palm: a no-longer-plush miniature Zerg drone. "So unless you..." She trails off upon seeing it, her mouth closing and opening a few times. "Where did you get that? When did you get that?"

I don't even need to concentrate to feel the fear and revulsion pouring out of Princess Celestia's mind, and I quickly hide the drone back in my 'hair' for the moment. "That is, perhaps, the most disgusting thing I have ever seen." Looking back in her direction tells me this is no exaggeration as she has backed up into a corner made by two of the invisible walls of our little room in the snow. Her ears are flat back against her head and her wings are trembling. "That thing...it has no magic. Even the two of you have absorbed some of the radiant magical energy fields as they repair themselves."

"That's probably a natural defense mechanism for the drone type to keep outside influences from interfering with the ability for it to become various elements necessary for a hive to be able to generate the full range of individual Zerg soldiers. Keep in mind I will attempt to do something to make it so that I am not just a spare army that you would have at your beck and call." My attention turns back to Liz, and I frown as I catch her trying to hide laughter. "Now, about that relocation?"

Celestia clears her throat, followed by taking a few deep breaths before approaching the table again. "I am afraid that the only location on the planet that is completely devoid of any life would be too dangerous: a massive crystal formation that shatters, explodes, and reassembles itself every five days, destroying everything within an hour's running distance. There is another place, of course, but there would be others like myself nearby. Smaller, weaker, in need of protection from the predators that call Flame Geyser Swamp home. Chimerae, pyrohydras, salamanders, and even an elemental or seventy. All of these threaten regular shipments of food and medical supplies, both of which would be needed less if you were there to make it less dangerous."

"Why the fuck would anyone be crazy enough to move to a place where everything around you is capable of killing you, and eager to do so?" Liz looks over at me, sees my smile, and facepalms. "Other than a Zerg, Sarah. We're going there, aren't we?" My nod in response elicits a string of muttered cursing from her as she pushes away from the table and stands up so fast that her chair flies back a good five feet. "I'm not leaving anything behind. We'll probably never be able to find this spot again...where the hell is my purse?"

The three of us spend a good ten minutes searching the area inside the room before giving up on finding Liz's purse. Of course, the second Celestia begins returning the furniture to wherever it was before being summoned we find it...right underneath the stone table and miraculously undamaged except for the shoulder strap having gone missing. Celestia lifts it in her magic and floats it over to Liz, who immediately drops it once the telekinetic grip is released. It lands on her foot, producing a distinct ring of metal impacting metal. "I thought you made that out of four bicycle helmets, some red LED's, clay, epoxy, and silver paint?"

"I did! It's easily seven times heavier than it was before we arrived here, and solid metal...I lost everything inside there..."

"How? WHY? Nothing else we brought with us was damaged or rendered useless other than our phones what with there being no cellular networks here."

"Nothing else was designed to look like part of my costume."

"Ladies? I suggest we hurry up and teleport, otherwise it's going to be night in the swamp." Liz and I look at each other and nod before she crouches to pick up the former purse in a more secure grip. I take quick stock of our provisions, such as they are, and hand the cannister rifle over for Liz to hold in her other hand for the time being. I can't even get my bone-armored fingers inside the trigger guard anyways. "Stand close, and close your eyes...it will help with the nausea if this is your first time teleporting."

I take her advice, closing my eyes and breathing deeply as I feel some kind of power surround me. One second I smell snow, the next it's hard-boiled eggs. My wings stretch out of their own accord and I take a few steps back from where Celestia stands before I stretch my arms out deliberately to work out a few tense spots. My second deep breath catches in my throat as I feel a presence coil around my mind, embracing me in a way before mostly retreating. You are not the Overmind... "Celestia, run. Flee for your life."

Author's Notes:

Ever have an idea refuse to allow you to sleep until you transfer it from your head to someplace another person can see it?

Sorry it's so short, I spent half the day writing something that takes place after this.

Alternative Chapter Title: Infodump.