The ponies of Ponyville were gathered up on bleachers around a wide and sunny patch of grass. Two ovens had been set up on the field. A great bin held an impressive collection of domestic tools and supplies. On one side of that field sat Twilight Sparkle. On the other, her challengers, Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon.

Mayor Mare stood between the two opposing sides. "I'm glad you all came to witness this." She nodded her head to the growing crowd. There were ponies and humans both. Mayor Mare wore a translator, but the competitors did not.

A fact Twilight pointed out. "I am making every effort to learn Laud's language. If you aren't going to do that, wearing a translator should be the default minimum, hmm? How else do you plan to converse with your stallion?"

Bon Bon's eyes dropped in a suspicious frown. "I don't see a translator on you, Princess. What makes you excluded if you're going to chastise us?"

Twilight cleared her throat before turning to the crowd. "Hello," she said in slow English, equine accent thick but not impenetrable. "I... will fight... fair. Thank you."

Lyra nudged Bon Bon. "She has a point."

"Not helping!" Bon Bon hurried up to the bin of supplies and dug around. "I didn't bring a translator."

Twilight nodded. "Not a problem. I'm prepared for the needs of my stallion." With a sparkle, two translators appeared and floated over to her competitors, glowing with her magic. "Here you are."

Mayor Mare shook her head. "We've scarcely begun and Twilight has already shown flexibility in the management of her stallion's particular needs."

Bon Bon snatched her translator from the air and crammed it around her neck hastily. "Alright, Lyra, time for us to shine."

Lyra took the collar with her magic, the color shifting from Twilight's to her own before she stepped into it and clasped it in place. "Ready!"

Mayor Mare gave a soft nod, as much to herself as anyone else. "Alright, let's begin with cooking." She gestured left and right at either oven. "Your stallion hungers. Being omnivores, he would like a meal that is nutritionally balanced, with meat, vegetables, and some bread. A dessert with some fruit and perhaps a dash of sweetness would be ideal."

In a cordoned section of the stands, Laud sat. His head rested on his folded hands, his elbows on his legs. He watched the proceedings with a deep and unflinching gravity. He felt someone approaching and glanced over to see Paul settling beside him. The section was supposed to be just for him, but attempting to lecture his superior on the fact felt like folly.

Paul gestured across the grassy field. "I imagine this isn't what you expected." Laud was quiet, so he continued. "It looks like both sides are taking this seriously." Laud remained still. "You will be wed to the winner of this ridiculous, if adorable, conflict."

Laud sat up, his hands lowering to his legs. "If she wanted me, she should have said so. Waiting until she was forced to act does not speak highly of her."

Paul raised a brow at him. "Ah, a word. You favor the lady Sparkle then?"

Laud went quiet a moment, tapping his knee with a pointer. "As you said, Sir, whoever wins this contest will have me. I am ready to do what must be done."

Paul clapped Laud on his stiff shoulder. "There is little need for that formality. This is the most absurd, no, silly, competition held in the most utter seriousness I have had the pleasure of seeing. Accept it as a good thing. If nothing else, this will make it all the more clear that these are not a corrupt or evil people, to settle things with an honest display of domestic skills."

Mayor Mare blew a whistle in a keen single cry, the contest began. Lyra and Bon Bon burst into a gallop, each gathering ingredients. Without talking, they seemed to be gathering what they needed for different dishes, working on different parts of the intended meal.

Lyra grinned as she worked, slicing vegetables with a floating knife. "Shame there isn't time to make some candy. Your candy would win easy."

Bon Bon slapped some meat down on a skillet, shaking it with a hoof as she watched it carefully. "No time to worry about the could-have-beens, Lyra. I know how to cook a dinner." She grabbed a bottle in her mouth and sprinkled some of the spices it held onto the sizzling meat. "Stay focused."

Twilight bowed softly to them, then to Mayor Mare. She turned back to the oven and sat down. Her horn began to glow, softly at first, but with rapidly increasing luminosity. With a bright flash, a beam of eldritch power cascaded over the oven. An egg-timer rang once, and the door popped open, revealing an entire meal's worth of food. "I prefer to take my time cooking, but if my stallion is hungry, we can't keep him waiting."

The crowd murmured with awe at the gross display of magic. There was some nervousness among the humans, but few of them feared being culinaried to death. It was such a mundane use of the unknown, they were left conflicted.

Mayor Mare approached Twilight's oven to sample the result as Lyra twitched. "By Celestia's beard! She's already done?!"

Bon Bon nudged Lyra. "Keep going. This isn't a race. We'll beat her."

Miss Mare sat down and picked up the big hamburger from inside the oven. "Just the right bit of toasted on the outside." She peeled the bun off. "Condiments are applied evenly." She sniffed softly. "Smells delightful, if a bit unusual, but I imagine whatever humans prefer to put in here is not the same as what a pony would." To her credit, she did not ask what that was. Instead she closed it back up and sank her teeth into it and chewed thoughtfully. "Mmm." She swallowed, even that done with dramatic weight.

"Very good, Twilight. I had no idea you were a cook."

Twilight smiled at the mayor. "Oh, I've cooked before, plenty of times. Just because Spike can, and often does, help, doesn't mean I'm unskilled." She gestured at the burger. "I modeled this after my favorite burger from Hay Burger."

"I thought it was familiar..." She set the burger down on a plate then reached for the next part, a big helping of fries. She nibbled on one, making it vanish into a mildly salted memory. "Mmm, delightful, and I see you've prepared a salad." She slipped her hoof into a fork-horse shoe and poked into the salad with it, sampling the colorful mixture of veggies and seeds. "Delightful... But, of course, the true judge must be called in." She set it all back down on the provided plate. "I'll be right back."

She trotted towards Laud with her stately smile.

Paul slapped his back. "You get to try what she's made, bewitched or not. Looks good. Do you mind if I try some?"

Laud forced a little smile. "No harm in that, Sir. I should try it first though."

Bon Bon focused on keeping herself calm. Whatever was happening with Laud at the moment didn't matter. She just had to finish what she was doing with the skill she knew she had. She pretended he didn't exist, or the mayor. They didn't matter, not yet. She peeked in the oven and smiled. She pulled out her tray with a rag in her mouth to shield her from the heat. "Your turn."

Lyra scooted over and threw a sheet into the oven, making use of it without delay. "Can we do it?"

"Wrong thing to be thinking about." Bon Bon set down her half-finished meal, garnishing it carefully. "Do your best."

Mayor Mare set the plate down in Laud's lap. "And now the tasting. What I think as the judge counts, of course, but if it doesn't please the stallion, then there is no purpose, hmm?"

Laud dipped his shoulders forward in as best a bow as he could manage with food in his lap. "Thank you." He took a fry, a safe bet. Mmm, just the right dash of salt, but also something else in there, paprika? It worked well. He decided to give the main course a try next. What meat was in there? He couldn't tell at a glance, especially with the burger closed, and he had less reason than the mayor to pry it open instead of just biting it.

He would not be known as a coward. He took a huge bite and began chewing the mix. The flavors exploded across his tongue, a confusing mess, but he quickly began to discern the individuals. There was some ketchup, a touch of garlic and onion. The slippery sensation of a pickle slice with its savory hint... But that meat. He tried to discern it, chewing it thoughtfully. Ah, seafood. It was clearly seafood. He felt silly for taking so long to figure it out. The other spices worked well with it, bringing out its flavor. He couldn't identify what fish, precisely, but it was some kind of fish.

Mayor Mare nodded softly, watching him. "It has the stallion's approval," she declared with all the enthusiasm as someone managing a point in a sport's event, without even a word from Laud. "Very good, very good." She looked to Paul, close as he was. "Does this appear to be a well-balanced meal?"

Paul waved a few fingers in the direction of the food. "It looks damned fine to me, Mayor. Only one thing."

"Mmm?"

"Didn't you say a dessert should be included? I don't see that."

"Over here!" Twilight waved at them from her oven. Wrapped in her magic was a purple cup that matched her mane. A spoon was lodged inside whatever was inside of it, only its top visible. She floated it over towards them. "It's chilled, so I kept that back until he was ready."

Lyra sagged against Bon Bon. "Twilight graduated top in her class for magic..."

"Focus, Lyra." Bon Bon pushed her plate away. "Done! How's yours coming along?"

Laud held out a hand to receive the cup that lowered into it gently. It was cold to the touch and sweet hints wafted from it.

Mayor Mare cleared her throat. "I will need to sample that, but go ahead, your potential wife-to-be has given it to you directly."

He took hold of the spoon and easily dug out the treat inside that was smooth and soft. It was ice cream with a rainbow of colors. Right in the center of it on the top was a sugared decoration of Twilight's cutie mark. He smiled a little. "That's cute," he admitted. He lowered it so Mayor Mare could see it before his eating likely damaged it.

"Very nice," she easily agreed, even as Paul laughed. "It would have been proper to use your mark, but, given the situation, this is the best that can be done. Go ahead, sample it."

Laud brought up the icecream, still cold, showing no signs of melting, but still soft. It was a cold splash across his tongue, but melted at just the right pace. The colors had different flavors, all of them good, and not battling with one another. It was a perfect little sweet note to end a meal on. He could find no fault in it. "This is good."

Mayor Mare reached up, taking the cup, but then hesitating. "If you wouldn't mind?"

It took Laud a split second to realize what she meant. That cup was chosen for human sensibilities. As an earth pony, Mayor Mare had no way to enjoy it without shoving her face into it and ruining what was left of it unless she ate all of it herself. He quickly grabbed the spoon and got her a portion, popping it into her snout.

"Mmm..." It was clear Mayor Mare also approved of the dessert. "Delightful... I had no idea Twilight knew how to make icecream. I'll have to bother her for some later." She surrendered the cup back to them. "Don't get full now, you have one more meal to help taste."

Author's Notes:

Another bonus chapter! The patreon has spoken! Good thing Paul is there to help take care of the extra food! So, yeah, a chapter of... cooking contest... I am somehow not even upset, and it's not even over!

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