The next morning, after everyone had finished with their breakfast and Bathilda had returned from going home quickly to check on her cat, Harry wanted to read the next chapter, but Sirius wouldn't have it.

"I don't need you skipping a part, just to avoid us worrying about you." he said scolding him lightly.

"The Unspeakables said that I couldn't do that." pouted Harry.

"Don't care." said Sirius, " Besides, remember what I said last night? What if you get tired right in the middle of reading? If I volunteer to read, you can read half." he said fairly.

So it was decided that Professor Flitwick would begin the reading of the second chapter. He went and picked up a completely different book then the one they had spent the past week or so reading.

"The next book is called ' Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'." he said loudly.

Ginny motioned to Harry that she would sit beside her mother, father and oldest brothers. Harry nodded and smiled understandingly.

"I think I 'd better explain something, I rechecked the powers of 'Memorial Books' and found that as the books progress, they gain a bit more strength. Now for this chapter, we may experience a Scatter Shot and a Recollection Scroll in one day, or three Scatter Shots." said the Head Unspeakable. People began to talk about themselves excitedly, they loved the short movies (as one of the muggleborns called it.) though they didn't really like the bad memories.

Professor Flitwick took a deep breath and read the chapter title, rather reluctantly.

The Worst Birthday.

"Oh, I don't think I really want to hear this." said Sirius wincing a little.

Not for the first time, an argument had broken out over breakfast at number four, Privet Drive.

"And it won't be the last." said Harry shaking his head.

Mr. Vernon Dursley had been woken in the early hours of morning by a loud hooting noise from his nephew Harry's room.

"That would be Hedwig." said Ron with a smirk.

"She is the best alarm clock, during the summer." said Harry, watching his owl as she fluttered down to him. She puffed out her feathered chest importantly.

"Third time this week!" he roared across the table. "If you can't control that owl, it'll have to go!"

"If you would let me let her out, she would be hooting so loudly in the morning." said Harry rolling his eyes.

"He didn't let her out?" asked Sirius angrily.

"He hates her with a passion." said Harry stroking Hedwig's feathers absently. "She's not too fond of him either."

Hedwig clicked her beak angrily at the book.

Harry tried, yet again, to explain.

"She's bored," he said. "She's used to flying around outside. If I could just let her out at night-"

"Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.

"Yes!" yelled everyone in the Great Hall in unison.

"Or was that a trick question." said George out loud.

"I know what'll happen if that owl's let out."

"What would happen if you did let her out?" asked Charlie.

"I would send letters to Hagrid or Dumbledore for help." said Harry forgetting to censor his words.

"What do you mean, help?" said Remus slowly.

"Umm..." said Harry.

"Maybe the readings will let us know." said Flitwick, trying to spare Harry from releasing information that he wasn't ready to let go.

He exchanged dark looks with his wife, Petunia.

"That doesn't mean anything good." said Sirius looking worried.

Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dursleys' son, Dudley.

"Disgusting child." said McGonagall turning up her nose.

"Sounds like he got better over the year." said Ron sarcastically.

"I want more bacon."

"There is something wrong with that." said Fred with a smirk.

"The pig wants more bacon?" said George looking horrified.

"Cannibal!" the twins yelled.

"There's more in the frying pan, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia, turning her misty eyes on her massive son.

"I made almost eight rashers of bacon. He went through five of them." said Harry with a laugh.

"We must build you up while we've got the chance...

"More likely while I'm there." said Harry angrily.

I don't like the sound of that school food..."

"What kind of food do they have there?" asked Hermione.

"Dudley bragged about what he gets at Smeltings to me. They get porridge, eggs, bacon, sausages, cereal, milk and juice in the morning. Sandwiches and tea, for lunch. And a different choice of meat, vegetable, and dessert every night for dinner." said Harry ticking off the things that Dudley had told him. "He asked me what 'pathetic excuse for a meal' we get here." said Harry rolling his eyes. "I told him that we get about seven times more of a selection than he does."

"How did he take to that?" asked Ron with a smirk.

"He...um…." said Harry almost silently.

"What did you say?" asked Sirius quickly.

"He...dislocated...my...arm..." he said louder.

Sirius stared at Harry, as did most of the people in the room.

"I'm going to beat that little b $! & !" yelled Sirius.

"Get in line." snarled Hermione.

"There's a long line." growled Ginny.

"Hey, I was fine, I just…snapped it back in place…" said Harry helplessly.

"Like your nose?" asked Remus with a pale look.

"Maybe…" said Harry quietly.

"Nonsense, Petunia. I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings," said Uncle Vernon heartily.

"He's never gone hungry, period." snarled Harry.

"Dudley gets enough, don't you, son?"

"Too much." said Fred shaking his head.

"Way too much." said George rolling his eyes.

Dudley, who was so large his bottom, drooped over either side of the kitchen chair,

"That sounds absolutely horrible!" said a few girls, their hands quickly tracing their hips.

"I'm an amazed that most of us don't become that size, easily." said a seventh year girl.

"Not with our classes so far apart, Transfiguration is at least three-quarters of a mile away from at least Charms class, and the distance varies, but it doesn't get much shorter than that." said Harry with a grin. "We work off our meals just going to the first two lessons of the day."

The students stared at Harry in amazement. They really do all that walking?

grinned and turned to Harry.

"Pass the frying pan."

"Stupid prat can't even say 'please'." said Dean.

"You've forgotten the magic word," said Harry irritably.

"That was a bad, BAD choice of words." moaned Tonks.

"Tell me about it." said Harry shaking his head.

The effect of this simple sentence on the rest of the family was incredible: Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen;

"That should have been a clue to someone that he was too big, especially for an eleven year old." said Mrs. Weasely bitterly.

Mrs. Dursley gave a small scream and clapped her hands to her mouth; Mr. Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples.

Sirius sat forward, his baring his teeth like vicious dog.

"Steady, steady..." growled Remus to himself.

"I meant 'please'!" said Harry quickly. "I didn't mean-"

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU," thundered his uncle, spraying spit over the table,

"Say it, don't spray it." said Hermione quietly, her eyes flashing in anger.

"ABOUT SAYING THE 'M' WORD IN OUR HOUSE?"

"What 'M' word is he talking about?" asked Neville.

"Magic." said Harry simply.

"But I-"

"HOW DARE YOU THREATEN DUDLEY!" roared Uncle Vernon pounding the table with his fist.

"He didn't threaten your fat, worthless son!" yelled Sirius angrily. "I'll show him threaten." he finished clenching his fist.

"I just-"

"I WARNED YOU! I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!"

"Abnormality? That's what he calls it?" said Draco viciously.

"He doesn't like anything out of his so-called norm." said Harry shrugging.

Harry stared from his purple-faced uncle to his pale aunt, who was trying to heave Dudley to his feet.

"That took her a while to do." said Harry with a smirk.

"All right," said Harry, "all right..."

Uncle Vernon sat back down, breathing like a winded rhinoceros

"I would have thought walrus, but I guess a rhino is good too." said Lee shrugging.

and watching Harry closely out of the corners of his small, sharp eyes.

Ever since Harry had come home for the summer holidays, Uncle Vernon had been treating him like a bomb that might go off at any moment,

"A bomb?" asked Remus, confused.

"It's like a firework, only louder, larger and lethal." said Dr. Clark sadly. "I've seen men, women and children blown to pieces by them."

"Merlin." said Remus gulping loudly.

because Harry Potter wasn't a normal boy. As a matter of fact, he was not normal as it is possible to be.

Harry Potter was a wizard-

"Why is it going over what we already know?" said Zacharias rolling his eyes.

"In past readings, more and more people have been added to the readings as the books go on. So the books recap themselves." said the lead Unspeakable nodding towards Dr. Clark, Tempest, and Firenze.

"Can't we cut these bits out, Speckerton?" asked Fudge to the head Unspeakable.

"No." he said plainly.

a wizard fresh from his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The current and past students cheered loudly.

And if the Dursleys were unhappy to have him back for the holidays, it was nothing on how Harry felt.

"Not one person blames you." said Blaise, "I wouldn't want to go back there either."

He missed Hogwarts so much it was like having a constant stomachache.

Ginny looked at Harry, "That's called being...homesick."

"No one should be homesick, when they are home." said McGonagall sadly.

He missed the castle, with its secret passageways and ghosts, his classes (though perhaps not Snape, the Potions master),

"Feeling was mutual." drawled Snape.

the mail arriving by owl, eating banquets in the Great Hall, sleeping in his four-poster bed in the tower dormitory, visiting the gamekeeper, Hagrid, in his cabin next to the Forbidden Forest in the grounds,

"Missed yeh too 'Arry." said Hagrid with a smile.

and, especially, Quidditch,

Fred and George whistled.

the most popular sport in the wizarding world (six tall goal posts, four flying balls, and fourteen players on broomsticks).

All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-line Nimbus Two Thousand broomstick

"Wasn't top-of-the-line much longer after that." said Draco with a sneer.

had been locked in a cupboard under the stairs by Uncle Vernon the instant Harry had come home.

"What?" said Hermione and the teachers quickly.

What did the Dursley care if Harry lost his place on the House Quidditch team because he hadn't practiced all summer?

"The only way we would kick you off the team, is if someone bans you." said Angelina scowling up to Umbridge.

What was it to the Dursleys if Harry went back to school without any of his homework done?

"What would have happened if I did come to school and none of my homework was done? Would you have believed me?" asked Harry looking to the teachers.

"No, I don't think we would have." said McGonagall sadly. "But if we had, we would have given you a pass on the homework."

The Dursely were what the wizards called Muggles (not a drop of magical blood in their veins), and as far as they were concerned, having a wizard in the family was a matter of deepest shame.

"My mom and dad are so proud of me, they brag to all my aunts and uncles." said Hermione, "Its' not right that they feel ashamed of you."

"That's not all that's wrong with them." mumbled Dr. Clark.

Uncle Vernon had even padlocked Harry's owl, Hedwig, inside her cage, to stop her from carrying messages to anyone in the wizarding world.

"That's cruel! She needs to stretch her wings!" shouted Charlie.

Harry looked nothing like the rest of the family. Uncle Vernon was large and neckless, with an enormous black mustache;

"Walrus!" shouted Fred.

Aunt Petunia was horse-faced and boney;

"Horsie!" yelled George.

Dudley was blond, pink, and porky.

"Piggy!" chanted the school's students.

Harry on the other hand was

"Attractive!" said Cho.

"Handsome!" said Ginny.

"Cute!" said the fourth year Gryffindor that kept trying to catch Harry's eye.

They all spoke at the same time, and their words were jumbled about. The three girls scowled at each other, as Harry looked at the three of them with a confused look.

"Think there's going to be a cat-fight?" asked Fred eagerly.

"My money's on Ginny." said George.

"That's an easy bet." said Fred.

"Don't give those girls any idea!" scolded Mrs. Weasley.

"I think you better stop the fight, before it starts." said Dr. Clark quickly.

"If I knew how, I would." said Harry looking over to Ginny, worried. For she was still glaring at the two other girls.

"You are clueless about girls, aren't you?" said Sirius shaking his head and smiling broadly.

"Don't take any of his advice, Harry. I'm begging you." said Remus giving Sirius a scrutinizing look.

small and skinny, with brilliant green eyes and jet-black hair that was always untidy. He wore round glasses, and on his forehead was a thin, lightening-shaped scar.

"Funny, Harry." said George with a straight face.

"You don't sound attractive," said Fred.

"Or handsome," said George.

"Or cute." the twins said together.

"I guess not." said Harry with a laugh.

It was this scar that made Harry so particularly unusual, even for a wizard. This scar was the only hint of Harry's very mysterious past, of the reason he had been left on the Dursley's doorstep eleven years before.

"Now there is no reason for you to go back." said Sirius ruffling his godson's hair.

At the age of one year old, Harry had somehow survived a curse from the greatest Dark sorcerer of all time, Lord Voldemort,

A strong flinch went through the school.

whose name most witches and wizards still feared to speak. Harry's parents had died in Voldemort's attack,

Sirius bowed his head, while Remus wiped a tear from his eye.

but Harry had escaped with his lightening scar, and somehow-nobody understood why-Voldemort's powers had been destroyed the instant he had failed to kill Harry.

Umbridge, who had been tied to the chair and gagged once again, thrashed about angrily. Whereas Fudge looked down in shame.

So Harry had been brought up by his dead mother's sister and her husband.

"I wouldn't say 'brought up'. I would say 'beaten up'." said Madam Bones angrily.

He had spent ten years with the Dursleys, never understanding why he kept making odd things happen without meaning to, believing the Dursley's story that he had got his scar in the car crash that had killed his parents.

"Wasn't an accident." muttered Sirius furiously.

And then, exactly a year ago, Hogwarts had written to Harry, and the whole story had come out. Harry had taken up his place at wizard school, where he and his scar were famous...but now the school year was over, and he was back with the Dursley for the summer, back to being treated like a dog that had rolled in something smelly.

"How dare they!" shouted Mrs. Weasely angrily.

"Say one more crack about my dog form Sam, and I'll beat you senseless with this pillow." said Sirius to Dr. Clark, raising a large cushion.

"Why aren't you angry about this?" yelled Mrs. Weasely.

"They're already going to get their come-uppance, thanks to Madam Bones. All I'm asking is to go to their trial and the opportunity to smack Vernon about a few times." said Sirius with an evil grin.

The Dursleys hadn't even remembered that today happened to be Harry's twelfth birthday. Of course his hopes hadn't been high; they'd never given him a real present, let alone a cake-

"You are getting, a cake, presents, a party, and anything else you could possibly want for your birthday this coming year." said Sirius and Dr. Clark quickly. Remus took a piece of parchment out of his pocket and started writing ideas down for the party.

but to ignore it completely...

"Your standards shouldn't have been so low." said Tonks angrily.

At that moment, Uncle Vernon cleared his throat importantly

"He sounds like Umbridge." said Ginny with a smirk.

and said, "Now as we all know, today is a very important day."

"You mean to tell me that they are going to do something nice for your birthday?" asked Dr. Clark in amazement.

Harry looked up, hardly daring to believe it.

"This could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career." said Uncle Vernon.

"What a...F# &!#& BASTARD!" yelled Bill.

"WILLIAM!" screeched Mrs. Weasely.

"MOM! HE PUT HIS BUSINESS DEAL ON HIS NEPHEW'S BIRTHDAY!" yelled Bill.

Harry went back to his toast. Of course, he thought bitterly, Uncle Vernon was talking about the stupid dinner party.

"Dinner party? Are they going to at least have cake for your birthday then?" asked Neville, trying to find the silver lining.

"Nope, they have another activity for me to do." said Harry with scowl.

He'd been talking of nothing else for two weeks. Some rich builder and his wife were coming to dinner and Uncle Vernon was hoping to get a huge order from him (Uncle Vernon's company made drills).

"Well, you love cooking right? You can at least make them enjoy their meal with your food." said Lavender hopefully.

"I'll explain when it comes around, why I won't be cooking that night." said Harry kicking the air.

"I think we should run through the schedule one more time," said Uncle Vernon. "We should all be in position at eight o'clock.

"Schedule? You don't have a schedule for a dinner party. You just enjoy yourself." said Bathilda Bagshot looking incredulous.

Petunia, you will be-?"

"In the lounge," said Aunt Petunia promptly,

"Is it a nice lounge?" asked Luna.

"It's clean, that's all I can say about it." said Harry with a scowl.

"waiting to welcome them graciously to our home."

"I wouldn't want to go anywhere near her." said Snape with a snarl.

"Good, good. And Dudley?"

"I'll be waiting to open the door." Dudley put on a foul, simpering smile. "May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason?"

"Hell no! I don't want your pudgy hands all over my nice designer coat!" said Fred to an invisible Dudley.

"They'll love him!" cried Aunt Petunia rapturously.

"They'll hate him!" said George mimicking Aunt Petunia.

"Excellent, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon. Then he rounded on Harry. "And you?"

"Setting the table and putting the finishing touches on the food?" said Seamus half-heartedly

"I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry tonelessly.

"Wait, what? It's your birthday and you've got to stay in your room all night?" said Charlie looking at Harry in shock.

"That's one reason why the chapter is labeled 'Worst Birthday' I suppose." said Harry shrugging.

"One?" mouthed Sirius.

"Another reason is that they didn't want me cooking. Thought I would screw up the food on purpose." said Harry with a scowl.

"Exactly," said Uncle Vernon nastily. "I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, and pour them drinks. At eight-fifteen-"

"I'll announce dinner," said Aunt Petunia.

"Dinner should be served nice and hot, not freaking stone cold!" said Ron angrily.

"She kept the food in the oven, it only burnt a little." said Harry shrugging.

"And, Dudley, you'll say-"

"May I take you through to the dining room, Mrs. Mason?" said Dudley, offering his fat arm to an invisible woman.

"I wouldn't let that wretched boy touch me." said McGonagall her nose turned upward.

"Neither would I." nodded Professor Sprout.

"My perfect little gentleman!" sniffed Aunt Petunia.

"Again, like Rebecca said, the only gentleman there is Harry." said Alicia

"And you?" said Uncle Vernon viciously to Harry.

"'I'm going to go out and enjoy my bloody birthday!'" said Bill, speaking for Harry.

"I would have given anything to say that." said Harry laughing hard.

"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry dully.

"He's still asking you what you are going to do? I'm gonna kill him." said Remus angrily. "He shouldn't...keep reminding you that your birthday isn't something to be recognized!"

Harry stared him with a large smile. "You better think about what you just said." said Harry with a laugh.

Remus thought quickly and then smacked himself in the forehead. "Oh...I didn't mean it!"

"I know you didn't, it's just so funny." said Harry laughing.

"Precisely. Now we should aim to get in a few good compliments at dinner. Petunia, any ideas?"

"Who plans a compliment?" said Hermione in disbelief.

"Dysfunctional people." said Ron rolling his eyes.

"Venon tells me you're a wonderful golfer, Mr. Mason...

"Um...I take golfing lessons and I need a forty point handicap in mini-golf?" said Fred in a deep voice.

Do tell me where you bought your dress Mrs. Mason..."

"The local consignment store." said George in a high-pitched voice.

"Perfect...Dudley?"

"How about-'We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr. Mason, and I wrote aboutyou.'"

"Really? Mind if you read a bit of it? Love to hear it." said Fred in the same deep voice.

This was too much for both Aunt Petunia and Harry. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and hugged her son,

"What a sap." said Blaise shaking his head.

while Harry ducked under the table so they wouldn't see him laughing.

"Oh, come on, Harry, laugh in his face! It's your birthday!" said Tonks eagerly.

"I get him, it's not much, but I get him." said Harry with a smirk.

"Is that when you used those things you got in the Wizard Crackers?" said Dean, remembering what Harry said.

"About seven days after I got back." said Harry with a smirk. "I heard Uncle Vernon complaining about gas he was getting from restaurant food. And he said he was getting boils from all the stress at work. So, I put the balloons in the bed, filled them only a little and didn't seal them all the way, and snuck into their room a few nights later and put the boils all over his face and arms."

"What did he do when he found out everything." said Remus anxiously, he loved hearing about pranks, but not if it meant his cub getting hurt.

"Well...um...he...can we forget about it?" said Harry helplessly.

"No. What..did..he..do?" said Sirius sternly.

Harry looked down in shame. "He...just..." he couldn't finish. He wasn't defending his Uncle's abusive ways, it was just...embarrassing. With all his brains and leg strength, he couldn't defend himself against his overstuffed Uncle.

"I guess...you'll tell us when you're ready." said Sirius in a defeated tone.

Professor Flitwick looked over to Harry sadly, then continued on.

"And you boy?"

"He's got a name you..." said Ginny, not finishing what she was saying.

Harry fought to keep his face straight as he emerged.

"I'd a failed, miserably." said Lee, still laughing.

"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," he said

"They keep making you repeat it? That's got be some form of torture." said Charlie, his fists clenching.

"Too right you will," said Uncle Vernon forcefully. "The Masons don't know anything about you and it's going to stay that way.

"Too bad, the Masons might have loved you." said Angelina with a smile.

When dinner's over, you take Mrs. Mason back to the lounge for coffee, Petunia,

"She can't even make a decent cup of coffee." muttered Harry.

and I'll bring the subjects around to drills.

"How would he do that?" asked Fred curiously.

"I found a drill bit in the pork roast. Speaking of which...'?" said Harry shrugging his shoulders. "He's not a smooth talker."

"Would that have worked?" asked Neville with a smile.

"Only if Aunt Petunia had cooked that night." said Harry with a smirk.

"If you didn't cook then who did?" asked Neville.

"It was all frozen meat, and store-bought dessert." said Harry rolling his eyes.

With any luck, I'll have the deal signed and sealed before the news at ten. We'll be shopping for a vacation home in Majorca this time tomorrow."

"Wow, that must have been a massive sale." said Hermione staring at Harry.

"Yeah, it was a big one." said Harry shaking his head.

Harry couldn't feel too excited about this. He didn't think the Dursleys would like him any better in Majorca than they did on Privet Drive.

"That is, IF they took me." said Harry rolling his eyes.

"Wouldn't they?" asked Hermione worriedly.

"They didn't need me there, there are tons of restaurants in Majorca." said Harry shrugging.

"Right-I'm off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you," he snarled at Harry. "You stay out of your aunt's way while she's cleaning."

"Oh!" said Harry suddenly.

"What is it?" said Sirius quickly.

"Uncle Vernon did give me a present, though I shot it all to hell. Damn, it was a good one too." said Harry disappointedly.

"What was it?" said Remus.

"It was a day, with no chores. And I screwed it up." said Harry sadly.

"How did you screw it up?" asked Ron.

"You'll find out later." said Harry.

Harry left through the back door. It was a brilliant, sunny day.

"At least the sun was shining on your birthday." said Mrs. Weasley kindly to Harry.

"That's not a good thing, if it the sun shines on your birthday, your year will be smothered in darkness." said Luna dreamily.

"Oh, that's not true!" said Hermione shortly.

"Oh, I don't know, the past five years, there was sunshine on my birthday. And yeah, the years were sort of dark." said Harry thoughtfully.

Luna smiled at him, while Hermione stared at him.

He crossed the lawn, slumped down on the garden bench, and sang under his breath:

"Happy Birthday to me...happy birthday to me..."

Lee stared at the book, "Wow, that's depressing."

Fred dragged him over to himself and George and had a quick discussion. When Ron and Hermione caught wind of it, they also hurried over and plotted.

"That's never a good sign, seeing Fred and George smile like that." said Harry worriedly.

No cards, no presents,

"Ron and Hermione didn't even send you a card?" said Dr. Clark, looking angrily over to the two fifth years.

"We didn't forget!" said Hermione tearfully.

"They actually didn't, it'll say what happened to their letters." said Harry trying to ease the situation.

and he would be spending the evening pretending not to exist. He gazed miserably into the hedge. He had never felt so lonely.

Sirius looked over to Harry sadly and pulled him into a tight hug. "You won't be lonely anymore cub." he said whispering in his ear.

"I know." said Harry with a smile.

More than anything else at Hogwarts, more even than playing Quidditch, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasely and Hermione Granger. They, however, didn't seem to be missing him at all.

"We were!" said Ron.

"I didn't know that at the time. I found out what happened that night." said Harry quietly.

Neither of them had written to him all summer, even though Ron had said he was going to ask Harry to come and stay.

"And I did, mate, right as I got home! I told mom if you could come and stay for the whole summer. She reckoned, at the time anyway, that you wanted to spend a bit of time with your family." said Ron.

Countless times, Harry had been on the point of unlocking Hedwig's cage by magic and sending her to Ron and Hermione with a letter,

"Do it! You shouldn't be there!" said Sirius loudly.

but it wasn't worth the risk.

"Bull$#!%. do it!" said Sirius again.

"SIRIUS! Watch your mouth!" said Mrs. Weasely angrily.

Underage wizards weren't allowed to use magic outside of school. Harry hadn't told the Dursleys this; he knew it was only their terror that he might turn them all into dung beetles

Several students snorted with laughter.

"You only would have stopped at dung beetles? I would have gone past that and straight to dung!" said Charlie laughing loudly.

"I didn't want to hurt them." said Harry quietly.

"Why the hell not?" asked Remus stunned.

"They hit me unprovoked, I didn't want to be just like them." said Harry, looking away from the large gathering, a grimace of pain on his lips.

that stopped them from locking him in the cupboard under the stairs with his wand and broomstick.

"Wait, what? They would have locked you up? If you hadn't of threatened them with magic?" said Remus angrily.

For the first couple of weeks back, Harry had enjoyed muttering nonsense words under his breath and watching Dudley tearing out of the room as fast as his fat legs would carry him.

"Which was about as fast as a flooberworm's crawl." said Harry with a smirk.

But the long silence from Ron and Hermione had made Harry feel so cut off from the magical world that even taunting Dudley had lost its appeal-

"Wow, you didn't even want to make fun of Dudley anymore?" said Neville with a shocked look.

"I was depressed." said Harry quietly.

"Are you still, depressed." asked Dr. Clark quickly.

"With all the stuff going on, especially after last year? To be honest, how can you expect me to be anything else?" muttered Harry shaking his head.

Dumbledore looked over to Harry quickly. He met Harry's eyes, without speaking they agreed to have a talk later.

and now Ron and Hermione had forgotten his birthday.

"Honestly! We didn't!" said Hermione fretfully.

What wouldn't he give now for a message from Hogwarts? From any witch or wizard? He'd almost be glad of a sight of his archenemy,

"Voldemort? You would welcome a glimpse of him?" said Remus faintly.

Draco Malfoy,

"Forget You-Know-Who, the foe that holds his attention at all times..." said Fred in a dramatic tone.

"Is the little twit of Slytherin House!" said George.

just to be sure it hadn't all been a dream...

"Last year sounded more like a nightmare, than a dream." said Tonks.

Not that his whole year at Hogwarts had been fun.

"First part, yeah, last part...not so much..." said Bill cracking a smile.

"Oi! Bill!" said Fred looking indignant.

"Leave the comedy to the professionals!" said George annoyed.

"I would if there were some comedians here." said Bill nastily.

Fred and George stared at their oldest brother, while Lee was rolling on the floor laughing.

"Ouch! That's gotta hurt!" wheezed Lee.

At the very end of last term, Harry had come face-to-face with none other than Lord Voldemort himself. Voldemort might be a ruin of his former self,

"You have such an interesting way of describing things Harry, and very accurate too." said Dumbledore kindly.

"I wouldn't even try and think about Voldemort." said Dr. Clark with a shudder.

"You...said...his name!" said Ron stunned.

"Why shouldn't I?" said Dr. Clark.

"Do me a favor, just say the stupid name." said Harry shaking his head.

but he was still terrifying, still cunning, still determined to regain power. Harry had slipped through Voldemort's clutches for a second time, but it had been a narrow escape,

"You're not kidding." said Terry shaking his head.

and even now, weeks later, Harry kept waking in the night, drenched in cold sweat, wondering where Voldemort was now, remembering his livid face, his wide, mad eyes-

Sirius, without speaking, pulled Harry up and placed him onto his lap.

"What the..." said Harry confused.

Sirius only hugged him tighter.

Harry suddenly sat bolt upright on the garden bench. He had been staring absent-mindedly into the hedge-and the hedge was staring back.

"What? Who was looking at you?" asked Lavender.

"You'll find out later." said Harry with a small smile.

Two enormous green eyes had appeared among the leaves.

Harry jumped to his feet just as a jeering voice floated across the lawn.

"Now who the hell is it?" said Tonks angrily.

"I know what day it is." sang Dudley,

"Wonderful, you know what day it is." said Kingsley shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

waddling toward him.

People began to laugh and clutch at their sides.

The huge eyes blinked and vanished.

"What?" said Harry, not taking his eyes off the spot where they had been.

"That's right, don't take your eyes off it. Never know what it might be." said Moody.

"I know what day it is," Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.

"Well done," said Harry. "So you've finally learned the days of the week."

Kingsley and Harry smiled at each other.

"You two are freaking awesome!" said Fred clutching his side.

"Too cool!" Said George.

"Why do you only use this attitude on Dudley and Malfoy?" asked Charlie to Harry.

"Today's your birthday," sneered Dudley. "How come you haven't got any cards? Haven't you even got friends at that freak place?"

"That hurt, that really hurt." said Harry from Sirius's lap.

"It's okay cub." said Sirius. "You don't need to deal with him anymore."

"Better not let your mum hear you talking about my school," said Harry coolly.

Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom.

"Gross!" yelled Lavender or Parvati..

"Why're you staring at the hedge?" he said suspiciously.

"'It was those creepy eyes that stared at me. I wanted to know whose stalking me'." said Ernie with a smirk.

"I'm trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire," said Harry.

Umbridge started to wrestle out of her bonds and tried hard to yell something out.

"You might as well just shut up, 'cause we aren't going to listen to you." said Nightstrike.

"I think she wants to yell at Harry for threatening the young Dursley." said Dumbledore kindly.

Dudley stumbled backward at once, a look of panic on his fat face.

"You c-can't-Dad told you you're not to do m-magic-he said he'll chuck you out of the house—

"Like that would be a bad thing, really." said Ron rolling his eyes.

and you haven't got anywhere else to go-you haven't got any friends to take you-"

"Bull! You had the whole entire Weasely family to take you in." said Charlie.

"Jiggery pokery!" said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus-squiggly wiggly-"

Malfoy started laughing, "What the hell was that, Potter?"

"In the muggle world, those might count as incantations." said Harry with a smile.

"Dumbest thing I've ever heard." Malfoy said shaking his head.

"MUUUUUUM!" howled Dudley, tripping over his feet as he dashed back toward the house. "MUUUUM! He's doing you know what!"

"He needs a smack, badly." said Malfoy and Blaise.

"I'll give him 'you-know-what'." said Ginny clenching her fist.

Harry paid dearly for his moment of fun.

The laughter died almost immediately.

As neither Dudley nor the hedge was in any way hurt, Aunt Petunia knew he hadn't really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan.

Before Harry could reassure her that he was fine, she came over and examined his head.

"It said I ducked. That means it missed me." said Harry calmly.

"Can't be too careful." she said, not stopping her inspection until she was absolutely sure nothing was broken or bruised.

"Besides, Poppy," said Nicodemus. "The pod he was in would have healed all broken bones, lacerations, gashes, and some other forms of injury."

Lionus looked over to Nicodemus, he felt that the doctor held back slightly, the doctor slipped him a small note and Lionus slyly read it. His eyes widened slightly and he looked over to the doctor, who nodded solemnly.

Then he gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn't eat again until he'd finished.

"What? They wouldn't have fed you till you finished doing stuff?" said Ron quietly.

"That is how I ruined the birthday present Uncle Vernon gave me." said Harry with a smirk.

While Dudley lolled around watching and eating ice cream,

"He's not the child that needs the extra nourishment!" said Madam Pomfrey.

Harry cleaned the windows, washed the car, mowed the lawn, trimmed the flowerbeds, pruned and watered the roses, and repainted the garden bench.

Everyone sat and stared Harry.

"You had to do all that in one day, and on your birthday?" asked Dr. Clark.

"And you had to get it all done before you could eat?" said Ron weakly.

The sun blazed overhead, burning the back of his neck.

"Explains the nasty sunburn you had on your neck." said Fred staring at Harry.

Harry knew he shouldn't have risen to Dudley's bait,

"You really shouldn't have dear." said Mrs. Weasely looking slightly guilty. Were her son's telling her the truth all those years ago?

but Dudley had said the very thing Harry had been thinking himself…maybe he didn't have any friends at Hogwarts….

Ron and Hermione looked over to him, they had a strange, worried look on their faces.

Wish they could see the famous Harry Potter now, he thought savagely as he spread manure on the flower beds, his back aching, sweat running down his face.

Both Draco and Snape cringed in their seats. They really did misjudge Harry. They thought he led the perfect life, now they realized…this was far from even a decent life.

It was half past seven in the evening when at last, exhausted, he heard Aunt Petunia calling him.

"Get in here! And walk on the newspaper!"

"What time did you start all this?" asked Bill angrily.

"Maybe nine o'clock in the morning." said Harry thinking back.

"So you worked your butt off for ten hours, in the hot sun, too? Jeez, a twelve year old shouldn't have to work that long." said Bill shaking his head. "I would love to see them try and do days like that." he finished angrily.

Harry moved gladly into the shade of the gleaming kitchen. On top of the fridge stood tonight's pudding: a huge mound of whipped cream and sugared violets.

"She bought that at a store." said Harry. "Cost her about thirty one pounds."

"Why didn't she just have you make it?" asked Hermione.

"I was busy with my punishment." said Harry shrugging.

A loin of roast pork was sizzling in the oven.

"That is all she can do for food. Thaw out the meat I season." said Harry rolling his eyes.

"Eat quickly! The Masons will be here soon!" snapped Aunt Petunia, pointing to two slices of bread and lump of cheese on the kitchen table.

"That isn't a meal!" said Ron and Mrs. Weasely furiously.

All that work you did, that was all you got?" said Neville sadly.

Remus, Sirius and Dr. Clark were snarling at the book in Professor Flitwick's arms. Madam Bones wrote a little note on a piece of parchment.

She was already wearing a salmon-pink cocktail dress.

"I hate that color, it's her favorite." said Harry bitterly.

Harry washed his hands and bolted down his pitiful supper. The moment he had finished, Aunt Petunia whisked away his plate.

"Was there even a crumb left on the plate?" asked Tonks angrily.

"Nope, I picked up every last one." said Harry quietly.

"Upstairs! Hurry!"

As he passed the door to the living room, Harry caught a glimpse of Uncle Vernon and Dudley in bow ties and dinner jackets.

"Bow ties are so horrible, worst fashion accessory for men…ever…created…" said Parvati.

He had only just reached the upstairs landing when the doorbell rang and Uncle Vernon's furious face appeared at the foot of the stairs.

"Doorbell rang, dumb $$." said Charlie.

"CHARLES!" scolded Mrs. Weasely.

"Hey! He ain't worth respecting!" said Charlie to his mother, he was even angrier than she was.

"Remember, boy—one sound—"

Harry crossed to his bedroom on tiptoe,

"I would have stomped, and made sure that the Masons heard me." said Seamus.

slipped inside, closed the door, and turned to collapse on his bed.

"Well, sleeping will keep you out of trouble, and you could use the rest after that waste of a day." said Sirius holding onto Harry still.

The trouble was, there was already someone sitting on it.

"What? Who the hell is on your bed?" asked Dean.

"You'll find out soon." said Harry.

"You say that one more time, and I'm gonna snap." said Sirius sternly.

"What else am I going to say?" asked Harry innocently.

"How about telling us what happens." said Sirius.

"I don't want to, ruins the surprise." smirked Harry.

"You're just asking for it, aren't you?" said Sirius with a playful scowl.