Author's Notes:

I am only partially sorry for writing this.

Starlight Glimmer wiped her brow and sighed as she hung the last pair of decorative drapes in the beautiful crystal cavern discovered by Maud Pie and her the previous day. “There we go, Maud. How does everything look?”

“It looks good,” Maud declared after a moment’s consideration, completely devoid of emotion.

Starlight looked side to side for a moment, awkwardly searching for something, anything, to say to end the conversation and excuse herself. “That’s…uh, that’s good! So…Good luck settling in, and I’ll, uh, see you later?”

Maud’s slow nod was all the affirmation Starlight needed. “I’ll stay here and make sure Boulder doesn’t feel threatened by his new neighbors.” She motioned to a wall of particularly gneiss-looking schist studded with glimmering gemstones. The whole spectacle did indeed seem to outshine Boulder’s inherent passivity and downplayed color scheme.

“Aaaaaalright,” Starlight replied, not really wanting to stick around for more conversation. Without another word, she began to trot out of Maud’s new home through the long crystal cave that served as its entryway.

It had been a long several days. First she had dealt with Trixie’s indiscretions regarding the Cutie Map, then embarked on a new course of grueling magical study. Then, Pinkie’s sister Maud had showed up, and Starlight had to deal with both Maud’s propensity to prematurely end conversations and Pinkie’s rapacious desire to force other ponies into friendships. The stress was taking a toll on Starlight; she groaned and twisted her head to the side, causing a salvo of satisfying pops in her neck.

The light nearly blinded her as she exited the cavern and began the slow walk back towards Ponyville Castle. The wind blew through her mane, and it sent an uncontrollable shiver down her spine. There was only one thing that she wanted to do right now, she realized. Only one thing could possibly let her relax and recover from this awful week, and restore her sanity to normal levels.

She remained fixated on her thoughts and found herself trotting up the stairs to Ponyville Castle sooner than expected. Shaking her head to steady herself, she opened the door and trotted down the foyer towards the primary stairwell. Aside from some distant, incoherent grumbles belonging to Spike (who was no doubt performing some menial cleaning or clerical task far below his pay grade), the Castle appeared to be empty.

It was exactly what she needed. “Great, no interruptions,” she whispered to herself as she began trotting up the stairs.

“Starlight!” she heard a faint voice call.

Starlight’s eyes shot open to their widest position as she whipped her head around. “No, not Twilight,” she hissed, scanning the hallway. “Not now!”

“Starliiigghttt!” the call came again, still echoing from a room far away but undoubtedly coming closer.

Starlight dove under the cover of the next turn of the staircase and scrambled up its height as quickly as she could, hoping to avoid whatever task Twilight had for her. She couldn’t be distracted! Not now, when she was so very close to her relief.

Finishing her lightning-fast bound up the stairs, Starlight slipped into her room and slammed the door shut. With any luck, Twilight would think she was still out, which would give her plenty of time to do what she needed to do.

Starlight gingerly stepped over to her bed, clamoring on top of it and lying down as if it was highly fragile. With that, her eyes slowly scanned their way across the room…

…Until they landed on her kite collection.

Starlight sucked in a breath upon seeing her beauties in the corner of the room. They were so pristine, so pure, so gorgeous… She wanted to just run with them outside, flying them all across Ponyville’s vast, open sky. It was the only time that she truly felt free.

Still, it was too late to start any flying sessions tonight. Biting her lip in disappointment, she nonetheless floated over an older, dark pink delta kite that had been hers from before her time as leader of a brainwashed village. Sticking out her hoof to touch it, she gasped as her hoof ran along its thin fabric. It was so soft, and shapely, and touching it felt so…liberating.

Spinning her head around briefly to confirm that her door was closed, she levitated the kite to her barrel and gasped happily as it made contact. Placing her hooves on its back portion, she began to rub it up and down gently against her fur, letting out happily little moans and hums as static electricity accumulated on her.

It felt magnificent.

Her eyes shot open as a new idea came upon her. Placing her kite gingerly to the side, she let her gaze linger over her pride and joy; a brand new, state-of-the-art designer kite. It had several rings of fabric, ranging from light blue to a deep violet, connected only by internal structural supports, and boasted several stability flaps which gave it the power of a tank but the gracefulness of a butterfly.

“I shouldn’t…” she demurred, looking away for just a moment. Starlight knew, however, that she had already made her decision.

“Oh Klaaauuuussss,” she called to the kite seductively. “Could you come over and say hello? It’s been far too long…”

Klaus the kite remained silent for a few seconds before it was enveloped in a teal shroud of unicorn magic and pulled onto Starlight’s bed.

Starlight’s voice began to waver with emotion as Klaus laid next to her. “Oh Klaus, I…I just needed to see you again. You’re the only one who truly understands me! I’ve had the worst week, and…and I just couldn’t go on without seeing you! You’re my rock, you know!”

Klaus the kite sat motionless and silent next to Starlight.

“What? No! No, darling, the other kites don’t mean anything to me! They’re great fliers and eye candy, sure…And I’m sorry, since I know that you’re the only one I should have eyes for…but they’re nothing compared to you.”

Silence.
“Yes, of course I love you! And I promise that you’re the only one for me.”

Klaus sat, seemingly contemplating her sincerity, before the teal magic nudged him closer again.

“N-no, Klaus, we shouldn’t…It’s forbidden! And dangerous! They’ll rip you apart if they find us out!”

Silence again.

“Yes, I-I know that didn’t happen last time, or the time before that, but…” Starlight sighed and laid her forehead against Klaus’ center ring. “W-we just can’t. You know I love you, b-but it’s too dangerous!”

The teal magic pushed Klaus deep into Starlight’s chest floof, causing her to gasp in ecstasy.

“O-oh Klaus,” she moaned timidly, squirming in pleasure. “O-okay, but we have to be quick!”

The teal magic situated Klaus near Starlight’s back hooves, and slowly raised him up such that one of Starlight’s back legs, all the way up to her flank, was contained inside of Klaus’ central fabric rings.

Starlight erupted into a fit of flirtatious giggles. “K-Klaus! That tickles!”

The kite began to rotate around the axis of Starlight’s leg, causing her to emit low moans of pleasure. She shut her eyes as she craned her neck in ecstasy.

Starlight’s magic removed Klaus from her leg and pulled him on top of her. Blushing profusely, she immediately wrapped her hooves around his form. The teal cloud slowly pulled one of Klaus’ stability fins toward her, and she met it halfway in a passionate kiss.

After a few moments, Starlight pulled away, a thin trail of saliva still connecting her to the kite. “Oh, you sly dog, you,” she told him with lidded eyes and a full-face blush. “I know what you want.” She closed the distance again, this time running her tongue along the face of the stability fin.

“Hey Starlight,” Spike called from the doorway to her room.

Starlight’s neck immediately shot ninety degrees so her eyes could meet Spike’s. He had indeed opened the door and was looking right at her. Try as she might, she couldn’t move or make the situation look any less incriminating; she was caught like a deer in the headlights!

“When you’re done with your ongoing kite romance, come down for dinner. Twilight’s almost done cooking.”

Starlight managed to sputter a few sounds, which kept Spike from leaving. “Y-you knew!?” Her grip on Klaus tightened slightly in surprise.

“Of course I did. Our rooms are adjacent, remember? I can hear most of the sweet nothings you whisper to them at night.”

Starlight’s expression morphed into one of complete fear.

“Don’t worry,” Spike assured her. “Twilight and the rest of the girls don’t know.”

“R-really?”

“Nah. As far as strange attractions go, kites seem to be a less destructive one. Besides, you haven’t told anyone that I do the same sorts of things with my Rarity plushie, so it’s only fair.”

Starlight chuckled nervously, her eyes darting around the room as she continued to hold on to her treasured kite. “Y-yeah. Thanks, Spike. Do you, uh...wanna join us?"

“That's gonna be a hard no... and, no problem,” he said, a claw extended in a ‘thumbs-up’. “Just remember to come down for dinner.” With that, he turned tail and shut Starlight’s door behind him.

Starlight’s gaze returned to her beloved kite. “Now,” she whispered along the length of Klaus’ fin, “Where were we?”