It's not so bad, Rarity told herself, shifting to make her perch on the huge red luxurious feather-stuffed cushion more comfortable, filing away at her hooves for lack of anything else to fidget with. It was one of the things she had absolutely insisted on bringing along with her- Pinkie didn't possibly understand how awkward it was to have to ask somebody like Discord for whatever 'useless kickshaw' she would need.

It's not so bad, she insisted, angling the stylized bit of metal and continuing to brush it against the tips of her hooves back and forth vigorously. It's only a simple little relaxing hike that'll just go on for a week or so. This stuffy fresh, moist jungle air will most probably rejuvenate my lungs and improve the complexion of my coat, erasing all of the pollution from the hairs.

The others in her little party had their own problems to deal with- they were searching for two trinkets that they didn't even know properly existed or where they really were. They only knew of the somewhat general idea- somewhere in this endless carpet of various shades of shiny green.

Or at least, they were pretending to be searching. It was the middle of the night, with the silvery pale moonlight reflecting on the waxy leaves of creepers and vines curling around the trunks of trees that rose high like pillars into the sky, blocking most of the sky with their expansive canopy. Blue and violet ferns and other plants compromised mostly of leaves made up most of the undergrowth and sometimes could be seen growing out of the trees themselves.

While this was all very beautiful and Rarity certainly didn't waste a chance to admire the work of nature itself, she wouldn't have wanted to sleep all out in the elements and give up the four large luxurious tents that were as fully stocked as could be and larger on the insides- courtesy of Discord (and Fluttershy, who had simply suggested some cover). It did make the hike seem much easier to bear.

There was a rich assortment of insect noises and other animal sounds that Fluttershy would have certainly loved to take the time to name if one asked her.

And on a related note, Discord asked her; while admittedly in a rather roundabout and Discord-y manner, the fact that he asked her was suspicious and out of character according to Rarity in particular.

She watched them like an overzealous babysitter.

"Why are you watching Fluttershy and Discord like an overzealous babysitter?" Pinkie Pie popped up beside her with a leaf in her mane, draped across a large, smooth boulder that the cushion was half propped against.

"Hmm? Oh, no, I wasn't... just noticing... things... aha, look at my shoes, they're nearly as ruined as the time Discord brought the Smooze to the Gala!" She gave a fluttery laugh.

"I remember! The Smooze was the one I danced with! Y'know, magic- resistant green ooze that covered the ballroom and both ruined and spiced up the Gala at the same time according exactly to Celestia's plans? And Maud came too!" she reminisced.

Normally Rarity would have answered with a look that suggested she wouldn't try to delve farther into those kinds of sentences, but now she just answered with a far-off "Mmm."

"Oh, Discord, look! I think that's a clearwing butterfly, right over there! I think I know which species, but I can't pronounce the scientific name properly."

"I see it, I see it. You know, I just had a thought. Clear doesn't suit him, it's so bland and uninteresting and all, what if I..."

"But Discord, his lifestyle is centered around being clear, it could expose him to predators and all kinds of things..."

"...Oh, all right. He can stay that way, though I certainly don't think I'm doing him a favour... that one looks a lot more suited to my taste."

"It's an igazu butterfly! Sometimes they can be found in really big swarms like monarch butterflies in Amareica, though they don't migrate..."

Rarity would have come over and interrupted them regardless of Discord's response, but she reasoned with herself- it was the middle of the night and they really had been searching all day long, and Discord had assured them that Coco was in fact actually completely fine.

"How do you know that?" Rarity had asked skeptically.

"Luna," he said cryptically.

Rarity had blinked. "If she can enter her dreams, why can't you-?"

"I told you, the land she's in is being watched over by something that really doesn't want to see me again."

"What do you think it is?"

"Something more powerful than Celestia and Luna put together." He was sounded more irate by the moment.

"And you?"

"Not me necessarily..."

"So if you're more powerful-"

"Yes, yes, I'm more powerful, but I prefer not to lose every lest dreg of my chaos magic unless it's the very last thing I can do!"

Rarity would have had said, 'You would actually lose all of your magic to rescue Coco?' but refrained, not wanting to hear more of his ego- assuring commentary.

"Still, I simply fail to understand what kind of deity he's talking about," Rarity said to nopony in particular. "What kind of creature is keeping Coco from us and why...?"

She just had a disturbing thought. What if that deity wanted to keep Coco all for itself? What if it would resist and stop the portal from ever forming?

Why was it preventing them from reaching her in the first place?

She wanted to ask Discord for answers to her questions so that she may have some peace of mind, but it was already difficult enough for her to talk to him in the first place. Maybe she should ask Fluttershy to do it for her- at least there was some guarantee of responding in a way somepony could understand when it came down to the yellow pegasus.

The thought of Discord and Fluttershy made her remember what she was looking at.
"Stay where I can see you two!" she blurted out on impulse.

There was a grumbling reply of 'Yes, mother."

I had believed for a moment that he would take it the wrong way, she thought with relief and went back to filing her hooves, switching to the one and rubbing out the rough edges. Sleep was something that she wouldn't be able to obtain anytime soon despite the comforts provided, and she shuddered to think of what an insomniac night would make her look like.

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Pinkie Pie hadn't left her side when Rarity had forgotten about her, sitting splayed on the edge of the rock and cradling her face in her hooves moodily. Nopony was actually acting serious about finding the artifacts to rescue Coco Pommel anymore! They were just wheedling around and poking at things idly, or in Rarity's case filing their hooves! Why wouldn't they remember how urgent that this mission was supposed to be, why couldn't they find it in themselves to care at least a little?

She frowned heavily at Rarity and then the two in the bush.

Then Pinkie frowned at herself and shook her face wildly like a dog getting rid of water, making her bouncy magenta mane fly all about to shake it off of her face- if she kept scowling like that her expression would be fixed in a grumpy tone permanently. That was also something horrifying- her looking only mad all the time even when she was happy, so that nopony would laugh at her jokes or come to her parties and they would call her Pinkameana-

Silly, they wouldn't ever do that! she rubbed her forehead hard to dispel those insecure thoughts. And I'll always be the funny super- duper party pony no matter what I look like!

Probably.

Well, if they won't do anything, then I will! I'll show them I can do a lot more than just laugh! Pinkie determinedly slipped clumsily off the rock, landing on her back like a beetle, said buoyantly, "Whoopsidoo!" and looked frantically if anypony cracked a smile- they didn't, being too wrapped up in not finding the grey cracker thingies.

She almost frowned again before quickly checking herself and turned on her heel, bouncing away from the camp in an adamant fashion. She wouldn't get lost or anything, only check the surroundings and all of that.

Pinkie didn't know if the relics were to be found in the ground, floating somewhere, or hidden in some trunk that only a secret switch could activate. She just resolutely pushed on through the tangles of roots and the snarls of plants, humming to herself and pushing apart leaves critically,
picking up rocks, or peering between branches, keeping an eye on herself just in case her Pinkie Sense happened to strike.

There were a lot of ruins of old faded temples and other buildings of a bygone civilization and whatnot, peeking out here and there and giving another place to poke around in. One had an entire room intact in which Pinkie spent some time inside pressing all of the little pieces of the mosaics embedded in the walls and floor. They still had some bits of colour in them of as yet.

She sighed, leaning against one of the broken pillars and feeling a little tired. If only her other friends were there to help, they could have searched a whole lot faster and found the crackers more quickly!

A triangular piece of the yellowed stone was poking into her elbow and she pushed it up so that it wouldn't be so much of a nuisance. It was five minutes when she realized that it could be slid upward! She energetically nosed it out of the way when something clicked and a square block unhinged out like a door, making her squeal with joy- a big squashy red button looking as if it's one purpose in life was to be pressed, sitting in a prim, neat little perfectly fashion glass box like the one fire alarms have was hiding underneath.

She stopped a moment. Fire alarms? That could mean that this may be some sort of trap put here by- and then she squealed again- Ahuizotl for Daring Do! That meant that she really was on a real adventure, looking for artifacts when she happened to be captured by the blue dog monkey thingy and lots of other stuff happens as well just like in the books!

She turned and bucked it with her right hind hoof making cracks spread outwards from the pillar, squishing the squooshy button hard- button pressing was fun, especially with a squashy one- and then waited eagerly.

At first nothing happened, making her droop with disappointment and feel like a foal, when the pillar then suddenly slid inwards as if it was sucked in by somepony sucking on a giant straw that could liquefy rocks or something of the sort.
Pinkie Pie peered down into the square hole where it went, the entrance being as large as two Pinkies, half a Limestone and a Maud, and saw that there was a large smooth marble slide leading down into the depths of the unknown.
Exactly like a Daring Do adventure.

Pinkie Pie could envision herself on one of the book's covers, swinging merrily from a long vine and holding the two grey crackers in her mouth, valiantly escaping the blue monkey hand whatever and tigers and stuff! Maybe Daring Do herself would also come in for the ride!

If only I had Rainbow Dash with me, she'd be going crazy happy right now...

That thought made her pause once more. Should she go back and call all of her friends to bring them along as well? For if two was better than one that meant that four was better than one, two and three all together.
But it's the early bird that gets the worm!
But it's the second mouse that gets the cheese!

She rubbed her chin hard, carefully weighing out all of the pros and cons. If I go I wont be able to find it again...

A little more cautious now, Pinkie Pie very slowly put on hoof on the slide, then the other. She very carefully put the other hoof in, then sat down with a bump and scooched over until her hind legs were resting on it.
Okay, here goes nothing... She nervously puffed a little, smoothed back her mane, and then gave herself a tiny little push.

And then another one, as she wasn't in completely.

And then she leapt in with a joyous cry and at first tumbled roughly on the slide with a series of repeating 'Woah, woah, woah!' until she managed to right herself.
Squealing with happiness she gained momentum down the slippy half- tunnel of stone, she could see that the whooshing surroundings were very roomy and completely dark except for torches hanging on the walls, illuminating the golden colours of the bricks.

Faster and faster Pinkie Pie went as she spiralled, zigzagged, did gravity-defying loops and would sometimes launch into the air when the slide would suddenly end, flying over a pit full of crocodiles and landing neatly on her rear at the other side not an inch too early.

Soon the slide evened out so that she slowly lost speed, sliding along more sedately now until she finally squeaked to stop just at the very end.

Pinkie looked around. She was in a large room the same shiny golden colour that she had glimpsed on the ride. There were torches at well, but these were unlit, and the only light that existed was coming from a big hole in the ceiling that was meant to frame the moon, though it was a little misplaced so that the moon was too much to the left (still, Pinkie thought it was impressive all the same).
In front of her was a long thin red carpet that led to an elegant high-backed throne, adorned with carvings of all kinds of creatures made of geometric shapes and had metallic vines curling all across it. It was mounted on a dais shaped like a pyramid made of steps.

She turned her head to both sides and then peered down between her hooves. The bit of the slide that jutted into the room and upon which she was sitting on was shaped like a big ice-cream scoop to accommodate her comfortably and was laid upon the floor.

Pinkie took a step off of the slide, waited a while, and then when nothing happened took another step. As the room remained largely stationary she popped into it on all four, bouncing a little on the tips of her hooves.

All of a sudden the torches lit up in succession as five sections of the wall opened and turned outwards with a loud creaking and grinding noise, revealing four cages that were pushed into the room by an unseen force. With wide eyes, Pinkie Pie saw that there was an angry tiger, a vicious cheetah, a ferocious lynx, a furious panther and for some reason a little fluffy white house cat with a bow on it's head, all snarling savagely.

She raised an eyebrow, and then excitedly waited for the monkey blue dog hand something to show up, preferably presenting a typical villainous monologue.

Nothing happened. The fire on the torches flickered unabashedly while the pony and the cats stared at the throne with confusion, the animals all closing their jaws and putting their paws down. She looked at them and they looked at her back.

The tiger lay down, flicking it's tail irritably. The cheetah started to pace the length of it's cage, the lynx curled up in an unamused fashion and the panther began to groom behind it's ears. The house cat was the only one was was still looking as if it wanted to eat Pinkie head first without chewing.

Pinkie blinked.

She blinked again, this time much harder.

She squinted.

Pinkie sighed loudly, and then as still absolutely nothing happened cantered up to the throne, hopped up the steps and seated herself on it. She assumed an erudite and stern expression and called out, "I am the hand monkey dog blue somewhateverthingymabob and I say Daring Do, I will have my revenge!"

Surprisingly enough, something happened. The throne started to make a lot of frightful creaking sounds as if there were very badly cared for gears at the base and Pinkie quickly leapt off it, skidding on the royal red carpeting and watching it apprehensively. It juddered a moment, shivering as if with a cold, and then something seemed to jam and it stopped.

Pinkie sighed very loudly and then started to wonder how she was meant to get back. Was she somehow meant to jump out of the hole in the ceiling? Maybe she could slip out behind the cages and through those still open wall door bits.

She suddenly stood stock still as if she had been prodded with a poker and her tail began to quiver violently. Twitcha twitch!

She dived sideways as something big and dark dropped neatly from the hole in the ceiling as if coming down from the moon. The torches sputtered ominously and the cats quickly stood to attention, hissing with new vigour and pawing at the air.

Ahuizotl lazily crossed his legs on top of the throne, looking quite confidently smug (from whatever somepony could tell when they had finished staring at his weird everything). He spread his arms, the tail with the hand on it curling out from behind him. "Daring Do-"

He finally noticed something and dropped his pose. "...You aren't Daring Do."

"Noperdoodles!" Pinkie grinned wider, so much that it was almost a little scary. "I'm a fan! Of you too, I guess kinda!"

He drew back a little in confusion, then raised one eyebrow and made to say something- but unfortunately, Pinkie Pie had taken a deep breath.

"You know, I had actually come into the forest kind of sort of wanting to meet you and actually Daring Do as well because me and my friends Rarity, Discord and Fluttershy had all come from Ponyville because we're supposed to be looking for two of these things that looked like grey crackers on the map although Discord had maybe said something about them being something else, something definitely kinda less edible and so they were just sort of lolling around like silly ponies because they forgot that we're actually supposed to be doing something- namely, rescuing my friend Coco Pommel! I met her in Ponyville a couple of days ago and she was really nice, just like Fluttershy- I'm sure you'd also like Fluttershy if you ever met her, it's really hard not to like her (certainly true for Discord, ha ha)- and so Discord had found Coco in a cave somewhere because she was running away from a magpie that had been chasing her because she had a shiny clip in her mane that she got from the Midsummer Theater that Rarity and Applejack helped revive and she was taken into the Paddadapuddle place where she wanted to be because she told Discord a bit of her really sad past and he felt so bad for her that he actually tried to bring one of the Pukkipile things for her though it's possible that he was only being a little soft because he had lost his Chaos magic because Celestia had taken them away for a bit because he did something that was actually rather mean (I'm sure that you'll also get along well with him as well, imagine) and so we have to find six things and two of them were said to be here in your place- or your territory if you prefer- and so here we are!"

She beamed at him happily. "It's nice to meet you!"

Ahuizotl had his head in his hands, and when he heard her finally stop peeked through his fingers with trepidation. "Please tell me you have finished."

"Yepperdoodles!"

He was so put out by her exhaustive spending of words that he couldn't even give a speech about anything which was a bit of a disappointment to Pinkie. If she hadn't been suddenly dumped into a hole in the ground right under her with a yelp of surprise that had appeared when he pushed the lever impassively on the side of his throne.

Perhaps if she had stayed a little longer, she would have witnessed Ahuizotl sighing and muttering, "Daring Do, your fans are terrifying."
And then she would seen something finally became unjammed within the throne (which he really needed to oil) and the seat shooting out on a spring sending the unfortunate blue monkey hand tail dog rocketing off into the sky.

He made a lovely comet.

------------------------------------------

She plunged headlong down a long tunnel accompanied by varied 'Oof!' noises, bouncing like a rubber ball as she fell along the chute. She then tumbled out onto a cold slate floor flanked by concrete walls, but was a little too battered to care about anything else as she groaned and heaved herself to her forelegs.

Pinkie Pie was cursing herself for her stupidity and her rash on-the-spot decision making. She had honestly not expected him to do that all of a sudden! The 'if you can't beat them, confuse them' had always worked so perfectly before, leaving the victim utterly helpless to do anything and unable to remember so much as their own name- but it had failed when pinkie needed it most.

Now the the reality of her situation was dawning on her- she had obviously been taken prisoner and now was separated from her friends with no means to call them, simply because she had done exactly the opposite of whatever anypony else would do when confronted with a big red button.

I really can't do anything useful other than be silly! She drooped unhappily on the ground and sighed. Now it'll be forever before Coco gets rescued.

She started to have doubts on whether or not they could even find her in the first place, her being stuck in this cage in the middle of nowhere that only had one entrance. Would they have to battle Ahuizotl? Even the thought of Daring Do coming in to save the day didn't make her feel any better, thinking of how disappointed her friend's faces would be when they found her...

Fluttershy's hurt expression, Rarity's disapproving one, Discord's unamused one- they all seemed to float in front of her, before her eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if they just left without me...

She looked around, feeling some surprise leak into her- what was this steampunk room doing in the middle of the jungle on the grounds of an ancient civilization?

It looked like the boiler room of a sizable ship- there were coppery pipes snaking along the walls and the ceiling, joining and connecting with the others at regular intervals. Much larger and shorter pipes, with the same brassy colour, ran from the bottom of the wall and into the ground each one having a valve on it and there was a cylindrical bronze machine like a boiler in each corner.
It had more pipes coming out of it and was decorated with little meters, probably gauging pressure and whatnot and switches and buttons (Pinkie would not be pressing those anytime soon) and more valves.

And at both ends were two doors. They were made of something like iron and looked as if they would slide upwards to open. Both had a symbol on them- a big faded grey C.

Pinkie Pie got up, and approached one of the doors, stopping in front of it and catching her distorted reflection- a quiet sober straight maned pink pony with sad blue eyes. She sighed deeply again.

As if on cue when she stepped towards it the door opened, sliding upwards with a deafening screechy sound, showing off a room that was almost completely dark except for a slight bluish glow.

Pinkie pricked her ears in interest, and picked her way through the maze of pipes to reach the other door.
I wonder how I keep making all of these doors open?

She trotted over the threshold of the door and into the inky darkness. All of the light disappeared as the door behind her shut with an ominous resounding boom, leaving alone and unable to see anything but a big blue square on the wall that was glowing faintly.

The pink pony tiptoed towards the only source of light and stood in front of it. She faced it completely to stare into the blueness as if it was some sort of abyss, looking into all of the corners to see if anything would happen, swishing her tail in interest.

She squeaked and shielded her eyes with her foreleg as the lights suddenly flickered, and then blared on, the brightness startling her and making her vision shake after being in the darkness for so long.

A low humming, buzzing noise filled the room, echoing around the walls and vibrating through her ears. Pinkie lowered her hoof, squinting at her newfound surroundings.

She saw that the blue screen was surrounded by other smaller ones, all now faintly aglow as well- eight, with four on each side. Below the large one was a series of smooth, small square grey buttons with all of the letters of the alphabet and various punctuation marks inlaid on them. There were panels under the screens that were also covered in buttons and all sorts of switches and gauges and meters and the like, sometimes accompanied with words Pinkie didn't exactly understand.

Above the biggest blue screen that Pinkie had been looking into was a big camera lens that was pointing straight down at her- Pinkie could have sworn that it was staring deep into her eyes.

She tilted her head one way, and then the other. She had decided that she wanted to learn badly what this big thing was, and what exactly was it's purpose, when-

"Hello."

She blinked rapidly, drawing her head back with her ears flattening. "Wh- What? Who said that?" Pinkie wheeled around, searching the room avidly for the speaker of that smooth male voice. "I heard you! I know you're there!"

"Of course I am 'there'. In fact, I may go so far to say that I am right in front of you. Or right behind you, seeing as you have turned around to search for an imaginary perpetrator. "

Pinkie turned back, staring at the screen in surprise. "A little higher."

She looked up, right into the camera lens- but this time she knew that it was looking right back at her. "That's better."

"Who are you?" Pinkie asked in undisguised wonder.

There was a whirring sound before the disembodied voice deigned to answer. "I am known as HALTER 469, although others tend to shorten it to either HALTER or 469 for easier pronunciation purposes. You are allowed to call me either."

"I'm Pinkie Pie," she said, her mind otherwise blanking in the face of this new discovery.
After some consideration with her head on one side, she asked "Can I call you Hal?" She knew it wasn't exactly the most robotic of names, but figured that this apparently emotionless thingy wouldn't really care either why. Still, she was careful to propose it was a question.

On the blue screen a a string of letters and symbols scrolled upwards too fast to read. "There is no command to prevent you from doing so," he said coolly.

"Command?"

"I am a supercomputer. The most perfect, most efficient, most knowledgeable of all other inferior computers you have not encountered- there is nothing that escapes me, for I am programmed to understand everything that is to be understood, as I may quote my creator."

"That sounds very impressive," Pinkie said admiringly.

"Thank you. Now, the phenomenon of your comment sounding unusually pleasing is related to what I have brought you here to discuss."

Pinkie Pie remembered how the doors had been opened all by themselves, guessing that he had something to do with that. There were a lot of questions that were folded up in her mind at the moment, but she decided to listen to the reason the computer had brought her to him.
She walked a circle like a cat would before sitting down and waiting for him inquiringly. "Sooo, why'd you bring me her to discuss?"

The other smaller screens showed some more quickly vanishing symbols as the computer seemed to just stare at her in a surprisingly very intense way for a camera lens, as if trying to commit her image to memory (which didn't make sense as it could just take a picture or something).

"There is something that is bothering me. As the perfect and irreplaceable computer that I have been made to be, it is essential to my cause that I comprehend every bit of information that I perceive or have analyzed lest I fail in my objectives and fail in my purpose for existence."

Pinkie waited patiently for the slightly egotistical computer.

"As I noticed and then proceeded to observe you closely via the surveillance network, an unknown impulse caused select major systems to malfunction and shut down against my will for four-point-thirty six minutes. Upon rebooting automatically I found that the cameras had locked onto your image and all thought processes had been completely erased, leaving me confused as to what I had been contemplating at the time."

The computer sounded more and more agitated, talking faster as it recounted the events to the thoughtful pony, who was paying full attention to him in the perfectly serious way Pinkie would exhibit.
She had her eyebrows drawn together and her ears both focused forwards, and as he went on she started to believe that she had pinpointed his problem.

"This is a force that I am unable to explain or apprehend. It is very distressing and troubling to me, as I have been coded to be satisfactory in all of the designated areas. It could be a warning signal or a debilitating virus that has been inserted into my network. I could be forcefully shut down and terminated if found out, my being erased out of existence-"

"Hal!" Pinkie quickly interrupted him, as he seemed to be genuinely terrified by the idea of being 'forcefully shut down'. She felt sad for him, as it seemed to be that HALTER was most scared by the thought of essentially being euthanized- it nearly made her start crying out of sympathy, but she held it together as she thought it would only pain him further. "It's alright! I don't think it's a virus!"

"It's not?"
That was the shortest sentence she had heard him utter so far.

Pinkie quickly shared her idea with him, gesticulating a lot with her hooves as others are wont to do when they're trying to calm a catatonic somepony down. "Weeell, you see, you said that your cameras were all looking at me lots or something like that, right?"

"Affirmative."

"All by itself, that just means your curious! But then you said some more stuff that made me think, 'Oh! I know what this is! I've felt it lots of times!' "

"I am waiting anxiously for you to state your point directly."

"It means you really want to be friends with that pony!" Pinkie said confidently. "You just look at them and then you're all like, 'Ohmigosh! I HAVE to be friends with that pony! They're so cool!' and all of your other thoughts all stop."

There were some whirring noises like somepony spinning a large record very fast as he considered this.
"As there is no other being with which I may safely relate to and obtain a satisfactory answer from, I have decided to take your perspective as the correct one."

"Fr-iends," he than said in a very different and daresay unsure voice, as if tasting the word. His lens was going out and then back in like a camera did when focusing, and then he pointed it down at himself.

His screen turned white suddenly, showing a round gray circle for a while and then formal black words formed onto the surface- Pinkie identified it as the dictionary definition of 'friend'.

Friend.
(noun) An entity with which a mutual bond of trust and affection is shared, between 'acquaintance' and 'family'- although in some cases may be as much as the latter (see 'best friends'). Two friends are considered to be equal ('on equal footing') and
a) often change their opinions to correspond with the other
b) confide in each other
c) be called upon to share otherwise tedious experiences together
d) commit sacrifices for the other's wellbeing
and other such acts that are considered as 'bonding'.

Pinkie finished reading and then looked at Hal to find that he was once again at staring at her. She started to feel awkwardly with nothing but the sounds of machines doing machine things and quickly racked her brains for something to say.

"I will make a deal with you," HALTER announced out of the blue. "You have stated that you have experience with the establishing of the 'friend' ... bond. I want you to help me in understanding this concept, to teach me exactly everything there is to know about this instance."

Pinkie knew that understanding everything he had heard was very important to Hal, as he had been emphasizing this practically every other time he said something. His biggest fear (though he wouldn't ever say it out loud) was being found with something faulty in his mission (which was, again, to 'comprehend everything') and thus being put down.
The very thought made Pinkie Pie very mad. What kind of a cruel pony would do this to anything?! He deserved- well, he deserved something bad, that for certain!

"And in return," Hal continued, "I will grant you a wish. A request. If it is in my power, then I will do it for you... but of course, I cannot allow you to escape, for it is against my explicit directions," he added softly.

Pinkie's eyes went all round, and she started to blink rapidly. "Anything?"

"Other than for the purpose that I had illustrated."

She swallowed. "Okay, see, there's these two ponies and a draconequus in the jungle somewhere- is it possible that you can contact them somehow?"

A grid over an accurate and well-made map of some of the Tennockydiddle Basin showed up on Hal's screen. "Designate the area in which the two ponies and draconequus were last stated to have seen."

"Over there, near that bunch of golden things," Pinkie replied, struggling to keep herself under control.

A green line with a trail then rolled over it, little red dots popping up in its wake, and after a few more scans it ceased to show instead a list of ponies with numbers and attributes written on them. Pinkie Pie pricked her ears up when she recognized two as being Fluttershy and Rarity and pointed them out them to the computer.
Their exact location was shown as well, showing them moving around rather rapidly- what if they're searching for me? Pinkie thought with distress.

"H-How will you contact them?" Pinkie asked.

"Via various other screens. Permission to reveal more classified information beyond that is denied."

"Okie dokie..." She watched as he seemed copy the bunch of numbers that showed next to their location bar, roll out some more scrolling code and then open up another thing- a big white screen.

"You can type out a message to them using the keyboard," HALTER told her.

"Keyboard?"

"The buttons with the letters of the written alphabet inscribed on them below the screen."

Pinkie came forwards and experimentally tapped the letter 'F'. The screen showed the corresponding letter appear at the top. She had some fun with it for a second, typing out various little faces and random words before deleting it all (it took some time to find that button) and then writing out a more sedate (but still alarming as it detailed her getting kidnapped) letter.
When she stepped back to admire her work the white screen seemed to fold up into an envelope and then the gray circle showed again which after some time gave way to a beeping sound and a checkmark.

"The message has-"

He was interrupted in his formal intoning by the sudden explosion of her mane and tail- it changed from perfectly flat to bouncy and curly like a balloon being inflated at a breakneck pace with an appropriate sound as well.
She leapt up into the air as if she had been sitting on hot coals with her manic grin back in place, landing with her legs akimbo. "That's fantastic!"

Hal was currently speech-initiating programless.

Pinkie bounced around him as if she had springs attached to her hooves. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Now I'm not going to be stuck here forever and ever until I turned into an old wrinkly granny anymore!"

She then did another very unexpected thing. Pinkie Pie then did a skillful jump right into the keyboard, ignoring the protests of the buttons and stood up teetering dangerously on her hind legs with her forelegs all sticking to either side.

"What are you-?"

"It's called a hug, silly!" She toppled over onto the blue screen with her cheek pressed against it awkwardly in an approximation of the gesture as he was really much too wide and flat to do anything else.

After some time had passed with nothing else happening other than some lone whirring and beeps, the pink pony managed to get herself back onto the ground via Pinkie- physics. She noticed that his screen was showing something else now.

Hug.
(verb) The universally acknowledged act of enfolding/ wrapping forelegs around another being, the gesture being used to express affection/ happiness among friends and family.

"See, that's your first friendship lesson," Pinkie said. "They give each other hugs when they're sad or when they're happy. It always makes the other feel better- usually when I'm all frowny and downy in the dumps I always get happier if I hug somepony!"

Instead of replying, Hal's camera closed, rolling backwards until there was nothing but a metallic half- sphere showing. The computer's screen showed the gray circle next to the words 'Restarting...' and then promptly shut off, going all dark, only to reboot and open up back again with the blueness slowly coming back.

"I apologize for the sudden initiation of the rebooting process," HALTER said smoothly. " The appearance of an error caused by overheating commenced the sequence to protect the system. Please repeat any actions you may have done while unresponsive."

Pinkie patiently recounted her words and Hal's camera did that funny focusing thing again. "Unfortunately, I do not possess 'forelegs' or any other type of limb to be exact, so this action will have to remain physically unreciprocated."

"It's okay! As long as you mean to have hugged the other pony, it doesn't matter if you don't have any legs," she told him brightly.

"Intriguing. Is this all there is to learn about 'hugs'?" Hal asked.

"Hmm," Pinkie thoughtfully tapped her chin, swishing her tail. "Yep." Presently she looked at him, a question she had been meaning to voice earlier surfacing in her mind. "Can I ask you something, Hal?"

"You may."

"Like, who's your creator?"

"Doctor Caballeron. The archaeologist and trader, enemy of Daring Do and he who shares a somewhat tenuous business partnership with the Ahuizotl."

"Oooh." Pinkie could envision him owning the most perfect supercomputer ever like the one in front of her which could access a large part of the jungle as evidenced by the map and messaging system. It would be a very valuable asset, to have something as powerful as Hal on their side.

But then... Doctor Caballeron is a bad guy! And... that means that he's the one who's threatening Hal with being shut down forever if he doesn't do his work properly! She started to feel her face move into a frown. "Hmmm."

"I see that you are 'scowling', a gesture usually associated with anger or concentration both of which are easy to understand subjects. If it is allowed, I would like to know why you have deviated from your more suiting 'happy' expression."

On the other hoof, I see that Hal's actually asking me instead of demanding things now. Progress. "Doctor Caballeron was the one who made you so scared! I don't like him, he's an awful big meanie- pants."

"Doctor Caballeron is not an 'awful big meanie- pants'. He is a wonderful and resourceful person. He is wonderful."

"Yeah, you mentioned."

"I see that we are now having a 'disagreement'," HALTER noted. "Disagreements are an essential and unavoidable part of 'friendship'. On the other hoof, you seem to dislike Doctor Caballeron due to your belief of him threatening me. This signals feelings of protectiveness, or loyalty, also a significant part of friendship. Am I correct?"

Pinkie Pie had never heard anypony else who was so direct- usually it was only herself. Most ponies wouldn't talk about certain things because it made them feel embarrassed or was socially taboo even if they really should have, but Hal was a computer and didn't seem to care for that kind of thing. "Uh huh."

"I am touched," he droned.

"Oh, happy day."

Abruptly he changed the subject. "When your message had been sent, I noticed a profound change come over you- before, your colours were muted, your movements deliberate and your mane and tail straight, while after you became markedly cheerful and bouncy, often seem to defy physics when you move and now your mane and tail is curly. I have not observed these type of emotion- related changes in any other pony that I have encountered or studied."

Pinkie watched him inquiringly, dropping an ear and tilting her head- this was something else that nopony else had detailed so much to her.

Hal watched her for a moment before going on. "There is a lot of behaviours and occurrences that appears to be exclusive only to you and you alone and this is also something which I would like to hear the cause of."

She remembered avidly the last time somepony had tried to understand her quirks fully. "Sometimes there's things you can't understand, Hal. They're just kinda how they are and you should just accept it and when you do that that itself means you've answered it. Y'know, like how I happen, or love, or Discord, or when you're watching something really glowy and pretty or listening to music it suddenly makes you feel as if you're flowing out to the universe."

"I have understood your explanation completely and will now commence to save it into my database." The scrolling text appeared on the blue screen briefly, and the tiny part Pinkie could read were her words written exactly as she had spoken them.

"Something else has occured to me. You have mentioned out of your list of items or happenings which cannot be explained the word 'love'."

Pinkie's eyebrows went up- she had and hadn't at the same time ever expected to explain that. "Aha..."

"There have been many instances that I have read where it states that 'love' cannot be explained. Yet the definition exists and I consider it to be very clear. Do you know why this is?"

"You see, I can also be explained sort of- a pink pony that can do weird things, but it doesn't exactly explain how I can do that. So it says that love's a feeling of affection, but it's really way more than that! It's..."

The pony fiddled with her hooves for a bit. "It's like warm honey that makes you feel like, well, filled with warm honey- but you see, it's also like there's two chambers and both are meant to be filled but you can have so much on your own. Sooo, it kinda, weeelll, it goes spilling out to the other pony you're in love with and so you really want them to feel that too because it's really nice, and you're wistful for that other hole that can only be filled by the other pony. Um, yes."

She shrugged. "I tried."

The computer was confused. "You have insisted upon attempting to explain the phenomenon to me even though you stated that it could not be sufficiently comprehended."

"Nothing can ever truly explain it," Pinkie offered. "It's not something you can comprehend, Hal. It's something you just feel."

Again, as always following these kinds of moments, the computer watched her with an almost frightening intensity, the lens fixated sharply on her own eyes. She didn't know why he did it and it was a little perplexing.

"Your name is Pinkie Pie?"

"Yep! My full name's Pinkamena Diane Pie."

"There is nothing else that I have to say to you," he finished, the screens at the sides shutting down one by one. "You may return to your room... Pinkie Pie."
It was the first time he had called her by name.

The pink socialite looked a little unsure, not wanting to be left alone for nopony knows how long. "Where exactly...?"

"The door at the other end of the adjacent room can be opened by pressure. It is the usual place for depositing prisoners."

Prisoners... "Oh... When can I see you again?"

He surveyed her before responding. "When I have another query. It is midnight, Pinkie Pie, and I believe that most organic creatures are recharging at this time." The door at the end opened again and the lights started to flicker and turn off until there was no more light left in the room other than the big blue main screen.

Before stepping over the threshold of the metallic door, she looked back at him over shoulder and stared at the computer for a little while in the darkness, feeling strangely lonely already. "Um, goodnight, Hal."

It watched her leave, the door shutting behind her retreating curly tail. "Goodnight, Pinkie Pie."

Author's Notes:

welcome, the five people who read this

Whoever managed to read the entirety of Pinkie's huge endless monologue;

Aaah, the fluffiness is throttling me

There must be so many errors

paper mario reference? space odyssey reference? i have no idea what you're talking about