I sat in the cold confines of my undersized cage, surrounded by the sterile white walls of the Pound. I was the only human there, as far as I could tell; dogs and cats sat in separate cages across from me, and above them were caged birds who constantly made obnoxious noises. The only time they ever shut their fucking mouths are when I start slamming against the cage. It was hell, but I've been getting used to it since I was brought here roughly five months ago after being captured by the Royal Guard.

It isn't all bad, really; they keep you clean, let you walk around a bit if you're good, and give you free food. Fruits and veggies all in a bowl, absolutely delicious. Sometimes they give you real meat, if you don't cause trouble. Better than anything I could find out in the wild by myself, most definitely.

I heard the stallion at the front desk, Caramel Apple, sigh loudly as the bell of the door signified that someone had entered, and he asked in a amused tone, "Hello Green, what can I do you for?" I heard a pair of hooves softly land on the desk, before another little girl's voice entered the conversation.

"I, um, was just wondering if there were any humans? I mean, you haven't had one in a couple years so I thought I might as well check... dad said it'd be fine if I bought one for myself as long as I take good-"

"I understand, sweetheart." He cut her off, "You know, you're in luck; we have one here now, ready for adoption. It's a male, really docile. If you'd like to take him off our hooves, you'll just have to pay us thirty bits. We'll mail the paperwork to your dad back at home if you decide to, is that fine?" He asked, and I could sense the smile on his face.

"Uh-huh, that's ok!" I heard a jingling bag of bits land on the desk with a chink, "Here you go! Can I see him?"

Caramel chuckled at how excited she was, "You may in a little bit, we gotta run a few tests first to make sure that he's safe for the public. I'll be right back." The sound hoof-falls met my ears, and gradually got louder until I heard the door open on the other end of the room. Eventually seeing Caramel stop in front of my cage and look down at me with a smirk, "Alright big guy, you got yourself a new owner. Let's get you outta that cage." He was a typical earth pony, with a brown coat, dark brown mane and hazel eyes. The only thing not at all common was his cutie mark (I despise the name), which was a symbol of a chew toy.

When he opened the cage and took a step back, I stepped out of it, stretching my arms and legs as several *pops* resonated from the joints in my body. Once I felt satisfied, I took a glance down at Caramel, before looking behind him and taking a glance at this 'Green', my new owner; it was like looking at a head of broccoli, as her body was green while her mane was light green, but instead of actually having a head of broccoli like most would expect, she had her mane in a quite nicely fitted ponytail, her horn sticking out the front of her head. She apparently hadn't gotten her cutie mark yet; must still be in grade school. Often times ponies get their cutie marks after they graduate, which is usually sixteen years of education, the first five being grade school, then another five being middle school, then there's the last five which, obviously, is high-school.

It's fucking weird as all hell here, but I wish it was like that back home; life would've been so much easier, but humanity wouldn't have had so many technological breakthroughs.

I brought out of my train of thought as I realized I was trying to be pushed. Looking down, I saw that Caramel was pushing me with his head, using all of his might to try and push me into the operation room behind me. I prayed to the lord above that he didn't try to neuter me, because I'd have trouble dealing with the Royal Guard if they found me hurting a pony.

I turned on my heel towards the operation room behind me, walking towards it while Caramel fell on his face, the sudden movement causing him to lose balance. He quickly got up, and found me staring at him with my head cocked to the side. He chuckled, shaking his head as he walked past me and opened the door, walking in while I followed suit.

Thirty Minutes Later

"Alright, you're all set, enjoy your new human!" Caramel said as he handed Green a leash. The tests were simple, really; use an apple to check how quickly I get agitated, practically aced it, they made sure I had no illnesses as of late, and double checked how quickly I got agitated. It was easy as pie, and I'd do it in a heartbeat if it got me outta there.

"Thank you Mr. Apple!" Green replied sweetly, trotting off with the leash levitating in her telekinesis. I could never wrap my head around how that stuff worked, but I gave up long ago after I realized that this entire goddamn world defied all sorts of laws.

As we walked down the street, I noticed ponies staring at us with a look of worry, probably because I was being led by a little filly who I could easily kill. I'm not going to, of course, I was just pointing out what I believed they thought. It was strange, though; being treated as a pet was actually a little better than fending for yourself, apart from the chance of them neutering you, of course.

We stopped abruptly, which once again pulled me out of my train of thought. Looking down at Green, I saw that she was standing in fear, so I followed her gaze and laid my eyes upon two fillies walking towards us. The one on the left had a light pink coat with a light purple mane and tail mixed with a white stripe going through both, she even had a little tiara on her head that appeared to be made of diamonds. The one on the right was light gray with an even lighter gray mane and tail, and just like her friend she had a white stripe going through both. I could sense conflict in the air, and right now it was fucking humid with it.

As they approached, Green took a few steps back and tried to walk away with me in tow, but they took notice of us. "Where are you going, blank flank? Got somewhere to be?" I heard one of them say, I turned my head and looked at them. Both had smug smirks on their faces as they approached Green, the tension increasing.

"I gotta go home..." Green said timidly as she turned and avoided their gaze.

The two fillies looked up at me, before chuckling to each other as the gray one spoke, "Wow, you got yourself a human? Why?"

The pink one spoke next, "She probably has no friends. I mean, come on, who gets a pet unless they're feeling alone?"

I glared at the two, before looking over to Green; she had tears welling up in her eyes, and spoke sadly, "Stop it... your hurting my feelings..."

"Aw, what's wrong? You gonna cry?" The pink one asked, laughing along with the gray one. I'm gonna hurt these two if they don't shut it...

"Look at her, crying like a little bab-" I stepped in front of Green, narrowing my eyes at the two who were surprised by my sudden movement. I growled at them, hunching over whilst baring my teeth to try and intimidate them. It seemed to work as they took a few steps back.