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The Last Birthday

by Flint-Lock

Chapter 1: Happy Two Billion!


“Allergy is symbiotic to glass!”

The City’s mouth-stalk whipped around in its socket, chewing its lips and gnashing its yellowing teeth.

“The coefficient of time is the inverse—”

“Silence, you!” Luna interrupted the appendages’ rant with a bolt of magic. It screamed, then exploded in a shower of vaporized blood, flesh and things best left undescribed. Beads of sweat trickled down Luna’s graying fur. Every muscle in her body felt like an elastic band on the verge of snapping. Sparks jumped from her overused horn, each one punctuated by a burst of pain.

“The things I do for you, sister…” Luna stopped muttering under her breath and tried to concentrate on staying alive. It would have been a lot easier if her fetlocks would stop aching like mad. She swore If the City didn’t kill her, her arthritis certainly would...

It was hard to believe that this... thing was a city. It was more like being swallowed by some unfathomably huge creature. The sky was a dome of living skin propped up by ribs the size of skyscrapers. Instead of skyscrapers or houses, giant, pulsing organs and intestine-like tubes lined the streets, lit by sacs of glowing liquid. Arteries and veins the size of sewer pipers spread throughout the city, all connected to a massive, beating heart dangling above the city center.

Like herself, it was a relic; a combination settlement/art installation born of a civilization long dead. While hardly homey, she did see the artistic appeal of the place—a sort of horrific, disgusting surrealism, of the mundane crossed with the grotesque. Of course, she would have appreciated it a lot more were it not trying to kill her.

While Luna ran, a meaty rope covered in teeth erupted from the surface, snapping itself with a whip-like crack. She solidified her magic into the shape of an elegant broadsword and sliced the tendril in half. A blister set in the leathery ground burst with a wet pop, and one of city’s symbiotic biots, little more than a bipedal slab of meat with an oversized mouth, climbed out. Shaking itself off, the creature let out a wet howl and charged, only for Luna to slice it in half.

It had taken two centuries to find this place; two centuries of scrounging through crumbling libraries and buried archives.Two centuries of puzzling over moldy parchments and corrupted memory crystals. She was not going to leave empty-hoofed. She was going to find an Egg if it killed her.

The city was more than willing to oblige on the latter part. Swarms of biots burst from a pod only to explode in clouds of ash and vaporized fluids. A fleshy nozzle slithered out of an oriface in the ground, took aim, and spat wads of acidic gel at Luna. A protective shield spell blocked the shots, while a needle-thin beam of magic pierced the nozzle’s base and exploded it in a disgusting, yet satisfying shower of meat and steam.

As she ran, the street grew wider and wider, then terminated a wide cul-de-sac ringed by gestation pods. At its center was a glowing blue Egg nested in a bony cage. A phalanx of hulking defense biots burst from their pods and moved to block her path, like an honor guard protecting a noble.

Jackpot.

Taking aim at the closest meat-titan, Luna charged her horn and drilled a hole straight through its tiny brain. Before the mindless minion realized it was dead, Luna reared up onto her hind legs. leapt onto its head, and from there, vaulted over it to the cage. A quick slash from her sword freed the Egg from its webbing while a quick telekinesis spell pulled it loose, followed by a life spell to keep the thing alive.

The city shook. Another mouth-stalk emerged from the wall.

“DECAY IS THE VISION OF TOMORROW!”

Luna fell to her knees, blood trickling out of her ears. Biots all over the city charged towards her in a flood of flesh, teeth, and tentacles, while squirming tentacles and turret-nozzles erupted from the street.

It seemed she’d overstayed her welcome.

Picking herself up, Luna cradled the Egg in her wings, closed her eyes, and commanded spacetime to twist around her. There was a feeling of gut-wrenching vertigo, a flash of light, and the city vanished, replaced by a barren wasteland under an inky black sky.

The world suddenly became much, much heavier. Luna’s knees turned to jelly, then gave out completely, sending her sprawling onto the cracked clay. For a while, she lay on the lifeless ground, wincing as her overtaxed body knit itself back together for the fiftieth time this century. Torn muscles spliced themselves back together, while new eardrums slowly grew in her ear canals.

She was seriously getting too old for this.

Once the extra pain had faded away, Luna picked herself up, brushing dirt from her coat with a wing. After checking the Egg for damage, she strapped the little creature to her back, and set out across the cracked, baked clay.

A billion or so years ago, this wasteland had been a fungal forest, with toadstools as large as parasols and fanning fungi like giant, flippered hands. Color had ruled supreme: reds, blues, pinks, oranges, everything. Now, the only colors, if one could call them that, were tan clay and black sky.

Time cared little for beauty.

After a while, Luna stopped at the lip of a sinkhole. At the bottom was a pool filled with a bubbling brown muck-one of the few life forms left on Equis. She thrust her horn into the Egg’s hide and let a tiny bit of her magic flowed into its primitive brain, then felt it quiver and hop off of her horn. The bioengineered creature dragged itself over the lip of the sinkhole and landed in the pool with a comical splat. Fleshy roots sprouted from its hide and into the muck, contracting and expanding as they gorged on slime.

Huzzah! Luna flared her wings in triumph. This was it! After centuries of work her greatest, and most likely last, project was almost complete. Already, she could see tiny pods forming on the tips of the tendrils, each with a tiny dot at its center.

Celestia was going to love it!

A low rumble traveled through the lifeless ground, making Luna reel while desperately shifting her weight in an attempt to stay upright. That was no Equisquake; the planet’s core and mantle had gone cold a very long time ago.

A cold, icy feeling welled up in Luna’s barrel. Celestia! Quickly, she magicked an ethereal proxy to watch over the Egg, then covered up the sinkhole. Luna broke into a full gallop, spread her molting wings, and took to the air, ignoring the burning pain in her wingjoints.

That stubborn foal!

-

On the opposite side of Equestria, Celestia stood on the shore of a salt-choked sea, pleading with a star

Back when Equis was still inhabited, mortal ponies had thought the sun was just an emotionless ball of hot plasma. They were wrong. It may not have been alive as ponies knew it, but it did feel. And right now, it was panicking. Scorching-hot winds blew across the beach, while flares larger than planets erupted into space. Tidal forces stretched and squeezed Equis like putty.

“Please, listen!” Celestia shouted over the scorching winds. “I can help you, but you must keep fighting!” In her mind, Celestia could feel the star’s hunger as it burned the nuclear ash in its core, could feel its panic as it fought against its own gravity. Part of it wanted to give up to the forces raging inside it and bloat even further, swallowing Equis whole. The only thing keeping it from giving in was the other part, the part that wanted to keep its charge alive, if only for a little longer. The latter half managed to gain a hoofhold, calming the star just enough.

Celestia’s graying fur began to smolder. Tide pools began began to bubble and boil. “Hold on!” Diving into the sun’s flesh, she grabbed a portion of its magnetic field, plunged it into the mantle, then began to stir. A massive loop of plasma erupted from the granular surface as fresh hydrogen flowed into the core. Slowly, the sun’s hunger diminished. The urge to bloat dwindled away.

Celestia shut off her horn and smiled as her beloved friend’s hunger diminished. The temperature slowly dropped to something resembling bearable. “Thank you... friend,” she said, then slumped onto the crusty sand, body encased in lead.

You’re tired, Celestia. Oh so tired.’ said a soft, soothing voice in her head. It’s time to rest. Just lay your heavy head on the sand and close your eyes.

Celestia’s eyelids grew heavy. Salty iron spread across her tongue. Yes, tired. She was so very, tired. Tired beyond belief. It was like she’d just finished a five hour meeting of the Royal Council after running about twenty marathons.

Yes, Sleep Celestia, sleep. Your work is done. You’ve done well, and now it's time to rest….

Sleep. Yes, sleep. Sleep was good. Sleep would be nice. It wouldn’t be for long. Just a short... short…

“Sister!”

“Lu... na?” Celestia groaned, opening her eyes to see a very familiar alicorn standing above her, eyes filled with concern.

“Sister, please, do not go to sleep! You must stay awake!”

Do not listen, said the Voice. It is time to rest. It has been so for a while.

“Go’way, Luna,” Celestia groaned, feebly pushing her sister aside. “Lemme sleep…” At last, here it came. Time to take the Sleepytime Express. Next stop: dreamland.

Something pricked Celestia’s side.There was a slight tingle as her magical aura synchronized with that of her sister’s, followed by a jolt of what felt like ice-cold lightning, burning through her body. Celestia’s eyes shot wide open.

“Sister!” Two hooves wrapped around her barrel and squeezed. “Are you well?”

“Yes, Luna,” Celestia said as she picked herself up, body shaking as though she’d drunk an entire ocean of coffee. “I’m better now.”

“Thank the Queen…” Luna released her death grip, then furrowed her brows. “Now. what in Tartarus where you thinking?! Surely you know that your body is not up to the strain of calming the sun!

“And what, let it roast Equis to a crisp? Is that what I should have done?!”

“You would have had sufficient time for me to assist. I could have teleported here almost instantly!”

“And by that time it might already be too late!”

“There would have been time, Tia. You could have afforded a delay of a minute or so!”

“No I couldn’t!”

“Yes you could!”

“Idiot!”

“Stubborn foal!”

“Perpetual pain in the flank!”

“Applehead!”

“Moonbutt”

“Sunbutt!”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Celestia... ugh...” she snorted, setting herself down on the beach with an angry huff, brows frozen in a frustrated scowl.

Celestia snorted. Luna would never understand. The sun wasn’t some dead ball of rock like the long-departed moon. It was a temperamental, capricious thing, that required immediate attention. When the sun began to act up, she couldn’t afford to wait for backup to arrive. Either she did it then, or not at all.

Still, Luna did have a point. She had almost died back there, and it had only taken Luna a few seconds to teleport to her position, enough time to prepare and cast the spell together...

With a heavy sigh, Celestia trotted over to her sister’s side, placing a wing on the younger alicorn’s back. No matter how many times she did this, it never got any easier.

“Luna, look.” She took a deep breath, “Maybe I was being a little careless.”

“A little?”

“Fine, very careless.” She cleared her throat. “Either way, I’m sorry that I scared you so much.”

“You did much more than scare me.” Luna put a hoof on Celestia’s shoulder. “We are the last two sapient beings on this world. If you were to perish I would be… t’would be as if I were trapped on the moon once again…”

“That won’t happen Luna. I promise, from now on, if the sun starts acting again, I won’t try to tame it without your help.” Celestia gave a cheeky grin. “After all, somepony has to change your diaper.”

Luna gave an impish smile. “And somepony must fetch your walker.”

“Touche.’” Celestia nickred, then stopped. There, by a pillar of salt, was a dark oval flopping on the shore

“Excuse me, Luna,” she said, cantering over over to the object, her hooves crunching on the salty crust. As she approached, the oval grew into a leathery, pony-sized slug with tiny, hoofed legs. Two eyestalks turned towards her, then pointed towards a large gash on its hide.

“Do not worry, little one,” Celestia said, kneeling down until her face was level with the creature’s colorful eyes. Those eyes, they had that lovely shade of purple, like two lavender gems...

--

Celestia stands by the hospital bed, hooves glued to the floor.

The room smells of antiseptic, waste, and blood mixed together into noxious stew. Doctors hover around the bed like flies around carrion. All the while, the heart rate monitor beeps with the regularity of a metronome. Or a clock, ticking away the seconds left until the inevitable.

“Princess, please.” moans the pitiful creature laying on the bed, “It hurts…,

--

Shaking herself out of the trance, Celestia placed a hoof on the slug’s skin, ignoring the slimy, leathery feel of its hide. There was an the warm tingle of synchronization, and a tiny sliver of healing magic flowed out of her horn and into the wound, as much as she could spare. Mottled flesh rippled and flowed like water, and the gash slowly closed itself up . The slug picked itself up and cocked an eyestalk towards Celestia. It may have been her imagination, but for a moment, she could have sworn she saw gratitude in them.

Hooves crunched on the salt behind her. “You are aware that its doom is already nigh?” Luna watched as the creature scuttled back into the ocean. ”The sea grows more caustic by the year. Soon it shall grow too salty for even the hardiest of life. If anything, you gave it a few more years of life, perhaps not even that.”

“I know,” Celestia said, staring at the depression in the sand left by the creature. “I don’t care.” Equis might have been a sun-scorched wasteland. Its oceans might have been choked with salt. But she was still its princess. A princess did not abandon her subjects.

“Well, tis good to see that has not changed in my absence.”

“Speaking of which, where have you been, Luna?” I haven’t seen you since the last time we stabilized the sun.”

“I have been occupied with a... personal project. You will find out soon enough.” Luna trailed off. “For now, though, let us enjoy this lovely view.”

“No argument here.” Celestia stared out at the horizon. Even in its old age, her good friend still managed to bring out the beauty in a landscape. The blood-red light turned seawater to molten copper, and the salty crust covering the beach into a field of diamonds. Pillars of salt, turned orange by impurities, gleamed in the sun like pillars of ice.

As she watched, Celestia’s hoof twitched and something tightened inside her belly. What was she doing just sitting down, watching the sun? There was work to do! There were bills to look over, petitioners to meet. Meetings to hold. Warlords to fight! It didn’t matter that there hadn’t been any form of government...or sapient life of any kind civilization on Equis in eons, she still had to do... something.

Ironic: she had all the free time in the world, and all she wanted to do was to get back to work.

“You cannot relax, can you?” Luna said.

Celestia nodded. After spending millions of years together, it was virtually impossible to keep a secret from each other, or anything for that matter. Every twitch, every flutter spoke volumes. If she wanted, Celestia could have written a 500-page essay on Luna’s eating habits alone. Single spaced.

“Well, perhaps this shall ease your troubled spirits.” Luna smiled. “Happy Birthday!” A shower of magical fireworks sprayed from her horn.

“My birthday?” Celestia cocked her head as aqua and cyan sparks drifted to the ground.

“Of course! As of this moment, you are now exactly two billion years old!”

“Two billion…” Celestia trailed off, staring into space. “Has it been that long already?” Even in the old days, time had been like a swiftly-flowing river, growing faster with each passing year. Now it had become completely irrelevant: years, millennia, eons, all seemed to blend into each other.

“Now, since this is such a special day for you, would you, perchance, like to spend the day together. As sisters. After all, tis been awhile since we last did something together. Perhaps a little outing to, say, SpinDizzy?”

“Well,” Celestia put a hoof on her chin. “It has been a while. Sure, why not?”

“An excellent choice. One moment please.” Luna’s horn began to glow. Celestia could feel the stomach-twisting feel of a teleportation spell.

“No need, Lulu,” Celestia said, spreading her wings. “I can fly there.”

The glow dissipated. “Are you sure, Sister? I mean no offense, but you are hardly in the best condition to fly.”

Celestia snorted. Typical. “Luna, I may not be as strong a flier as I used to, but I can make it.” Now come on!” Rearing up on her hind legs, she galloped up a sand dune, hooves crunching on the salty crust. Like a pegasus on a launching ramp, once she reached the crest of the crunchy dune, she spread her wings and pumped them as hard as she could.

Time for some fun!

-

There was always an “Always”

No matter how far from Equis they’d ventured, or how much time had passed, light always traveled at 186,000 miles per second, three was always a prime number, and Celestia was always as stubborn as a neomule. Luna was pretty sure if she dug deep enough, she could find that last one in a physics textbook somewhere: the Law of Solar Stubbornness

“Sister, are you certain that you would not rather teleport?” Luna banked slightly to compensate for a rogue crosswind. “...Or at the very least, walk?”

“I’m... fine, Luna.” Celestia pumped her wings rapidly and gasped for breath. Through their connection, Luna could feel her sister's life force, feel it flicker and gutter like a candle. Quickly, she willed a magical tether into existence, then dipped into her body’s own life force. Raw Life Force slithered down the magical pipeline into her sister’s body.

“Luna!” Celestia frowned. “You know that spell isn’t good for you!”

“Apologies, sister.” Luna struggled to stay aloft as her life force regenerated. “I simply thought that you could use a small boost.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Luna, I appreciate your concern, really, I do, but I’m fine. I’m old, not crippled.”

“Very well.” Luna huffed, fighting the gnawing, twisting feeling in her belly. Tia’s condition was getting worse. Much faster than she anticipated. In her mind’s eye, Luna could see individual DNA strands fraying like old yarn. Could see synapses slowly decaying...

Luna shook her head. There was nothing she could do about Celestia’s health, and if she’d learned anything from her thousand-year exile, it was that if you could not control something, it was best not to think about it. Right now, her priority was to make sure the two of them had fun. At least, until the Present was ready.

As she flew, Luna looked to the sky. While the sun was still shining, it no longer had the power to banish the stars from the sky. Night and day had effectively merged, and the sky, well, time had not been kind to it. The constellations she’d known and loved were unrecognizable, stretched and warped into shapeless jumbles, and the Horsehead nebulae had condensed and dissipated a very long time ago. The moon was gone, having slipped off into space millions of years earlier. In its place was a glittering web of space stations and tethered asteroids. All long abandoned.

Luna frowned. While she was proud that ponykind and their descendents had spread amongst the stars, they could have at least picked up after themselves!

Something appeared on the horizon. There, hovering above an ancient impact crater, was a silvery disc nested inside a spherical frame, surrounded by a transparent bubble. ”There it is!” Luna announced. “The city of SpinDizzy.”

-

Grass

The moment she touched down in SpinDizzy’s massive central park, Celestia folded her wings against her body, lay on her belly, and rolled in the lush, sweet-smelling carpet of grass, whinnying and neighing like a giddy school filly.

Oh, it had been too long. Far too long since she lay in something that wasn’t cracked clay or crusted with salt. The way each blade flattened against her body, the soft, slightly prickly feel of it against her coat, it was nearly orgasmic. True, it was electric blue and smelled faintly of bananas, but she didn’t care. Grass was grass.

“Enjoying yourself, sister?” Celestia rolled back onto her belly to see Luna standing by a levitating flower bed, filled with a rainbow of bell-shaped flowers.

“You have no idea, Luna.” This park had once been considered one of the seven wonders of the galaxy. A bio-engineered tree shaped into a flat disc, supporting plant life from countless planets, from crimson bulbs floating overhead like organic balloons to massive, fern-like trees. Floating flowerbeds gently flitted around the landscape, like miniature fireworks frozen in time. In the middle of it all was a bronze plinth, etched with greetings in over a thousand languages.

It was missing something though. Something very important. Parkgoers.

Seeing Luna standing by the flower bed gave Celestia an idea. She gave a wicked smile. “Luna!”

“Yes?”

Furrowing her brows, Celestia focused on an iridescent flower dangling right next to Luna’s muzzle, looking for all Equis like a metallic church bell, and planted a thought into its primitive, vegetable “mind”.

Target found.

The flower whipped a tendril around Luna’s neck. It quivered, then spat a wad of sticky seeds right into the alicorn’s surprised face.

“Tia!” Luna wiped at the sticky, slimy seeds with a hoof, only for it to become covered in seeds as well.

Celestia gave an impish smile. “Gotcha!”

Luna snorted. “You will pay, insolent codger.” The annoyed alicorn’s horn pulsed, and a fruit resembling a pear with chicken pox leaped from a nearby tree and hurled itself at Celestia’s like a fruity meteor. Celestia ducked and blew a raspberry

“Missed me! Missed me! Now you hafta—”

...only for something soft and squishy to splatter against the back of her head.

“Kiss me?” Luna gave a smug grin, gently toying with a piece of fruit. “You forget; in my youth, I was the undisputed master of boomerang spells.”

“Well boomerang this!” Celestia charged her horn, and a cloud of jet-black berries ripped themselves off a nearby bush, orbiting around her like electrons around an atomic nucleus, then launched themselves at Luna in a big barrage of black berries. Before Luna could so much as blink, she was covered head to hoof in splatters of berry juice.

“This. Shall. Mean. War.” Wiping tar-colored juice from her muzzle, Luna shook a tree with her magic and collected an impressive arsenal of metallic blue apples, launching them off in one big salvo. Despite Celestia’s best efforts, several of them made contact, splattering her white-grey coat with thick yellow juice.

The fruit war only escalated from there. Fruits from all over the known galaxy found themselves being used as ammo: spongy red hearts and glassy orbs, swarms of nut-like berries and barrages of jelly-like blobs. Like two entrenched opponents, Celestia pelted Luna mercilessly with fruit, and was in turn pelted mercilessly with fruit. A passing drone took a direct hit from one of the flying fruits and reeled like a punch-drunk hoofboxer, its tiny photoreceptor blinded by pulp.

After a while, Celestia’s edible ammunition was exhausted, as was Luna’s. The garden had become a warzone, a sticky, sweet-smelling warzone covered in seeds, pulp, and juice. Frantic drones buzzed around the garden with cleaning rays, desperately reabsorbing the mess the sisters had made.

“So, sister.” Luna grabbed a cleaning drone with her magic and let it scrub her fur, before tossing it to Celestia. “Shall we call this a draw?”

“Sure.” She giggled as the drone played its cleansing beam over a ticklish spot.

“Well, now that that is settled, perhaps it is time we visited the city proper.” Luna motioned with her head, and summoned one of the city’s many flying terminals.

“Greetings Sir and/or Madame,” it said in a pleasant, feminine voice. “How may I assist you?”

“One transport disc please. My sister and I wish to see more of the city.”

“Confirmed.” The terminal beeped, and a silvery metal disc materialized from thin air.

“Well?” Luna motioned towards the disc. Celestia needed no further instruction. She clambered onto the platform, with Luna close behind. The little platform sank slightly under their weight before its repulsors compensated.

“Destination?” the disc asked in a metallic, monotone voice.

Let us see…” Luna put a hoof to her chin, rubbing it for a second. “Sister, is there anywhere in particular that you wish to go?”

Celestia shrugged. “Not really. I’d rather have a nice little trip around town.”

“Confirmed. Have a nice day.” The disc’s repulsors glowed and the pair took off over the tree line.
The garden shrank until it was a detailed model. In frount of them, an entirely different kind of garden.

From this vantage point, Spindizzy was a forest of steel, stone, and other, more exotic materials. The skyline was dominated by skyscrapers and statues from all over the known galaxy, from sleek chrome monoliths polished to a mirrors’ sheen, to bioengineered structures like sculpted, twenty-story trees, to floating geometric shapes connected with wire. Flocks of drones flitted around the city skyline, polishing, cleaning, and fixing everything they saw in a desperate fight against entropy.

Why would anypony abandon it?

As the disc flitted across the older parts of Spindizzy, entropy started to gain a hoof hold. While most of the high buildings were as pristine as the day they’d been fabricated, quite a few were crumbling ruins covered with alien vegetation. Around them, drones swarmed around the ruined structures like flies around a moldy sandwich, disassembling them atom by atom. From below, the smell of rotting vegetation and mold wafted upwards..

“Has certainly seen better days,” Luna said, wrinkling her nose.

“Agreed,” Celestia said. Nopony knew why the city had been abandoned. One day, the city had returned from another 10,000 year voyage. When Luna and she had flown up to welcome it back, it was completely deserted. There’d been no sign of attack; no bodies, nothing. Nothing had shown up on the city’s records either. It was as if everyone had just dropped what they were doing and left.

Yet another mystery on a world filled with them.

“So, Luna. Would you like to go somewhere?”

“Sister, tis your birthday. That is your prerogative, not mine.”

“Well then, as the birthday filly, I’m asking you: where you’d like to go?”

“Well, there is a place I have not been to in awhile…”

Luna tapped an icon on the disc’s control panel. It pulled a turn that would have snapped a pegasus in half, then set a course for a spindly chrome tower. Automated security drones floated up like crystalline lenses with wings. There was the flash of a magical scanning spell, and the mechanical monitors departed. A hatch dilated in the spindle’s side, like a hungry mouth awaiting a treat.

“It has been a while since I patronized the arts.”


--------


“Well, can you see it?”

Celestia tilted her head and squinted, pressing her nose against the painting’s protective stasis bubble.

“Yes...I think…” she lied. Did this really qualify as art? As far as she could tell, it was just a bunch of colorful splotches against a white canvas background. Millions of years ago, some art critic would have probably praised it for its “originality” or its “boldness” or whatever it was they liked. In her opinion, an overexcited colt with a paintball gun could have made something just as good.

“Well?”

“I can see it, Luna. It’s...” Celestia squinted some more.

Luna rolled her eyes. “You can’t see it, can you?”

Celestia sighed. “Nope.”

“Sister, are you blind? It is clearly a representation of the creative spirit. You see how the seemingly random splashes of color represent little bursts of creativity, while the unpainted canvas represents the empty mind.” Luna’s expression softened.” Though I will admit, t'was one of my earlier works, so I do not fault you for not immediately understanding its meaning..”

Celestia nickered. “Luna, you could write the meaning right on the canvas and I still wouldn’t get it.”

“I can see that. Very well, perhaps you would prefer something a little less abstract.” Luna tapped an icon, and the platform sped along the wall of the gallery, stopping in front of a framed portrait nearly as tall as they were. “Ah, you remember this one?”

“Of course,” Celestia said, studying the canvas. In the foreground stood two alicorns clad in power armor. One held a glowing sword, while other’s horn glowed a shimmering gold.

--

The magitech cyborg charges at Celestia, crackling with dark magic. Crystals imbedded in its hide glow with an eye-watering light. The jeweled lenses that replace its eyes showed no emotion. No Fear. Nothing but an all-consuming bloodlust.

Celestia wipes dust and oil-infused blood from her armor’s visor. She charges her horn and slices the abomination in half with a blast of magic. Another cyborg charges at her, metallic tentacles whipping from its back. Luna raises her construct-sword and slices off its command implant. It slumps to the ground, twitching and drooling.

--

“I think it is a flattering depiction,” Luna beamed. “Though I believe the artist may have taken a few liberties. If I recall, that battlefield was hardly clean.”

“I remember….” Celestia stopped. She knew this one, she knew it. “I remember how it took weeks to get all of the crystal shards out of your mane.”

“I also recall that we argued for days afterward over who had slain the most foes.”

“I still say I killed more. Admit it”

“Not this argument again, Celestia.”

“The official record said that I killed at least three hundred cyborgs in that battle alone.”

“The official record was written by your then-lover, of course. But enough arguing. Let us agree that it was a glorious battle and that both of us fought valiantly.”

“It sure was.” It had also been a most decisive battle. With their magically-engineered forces crushed, the Magitek Lords had been nearly helpless. Their mountain strongholds had fallen within the year, followed by a thousand years of peace and prosperity for all Equis.

Celestia’s ears drooped. Yes, a thousand years of peace, followed by decades of decline, corruption, civil war, and finally, collapse. After that, a hundred of imprisonment by a tyrant who would later die peacefully in his sleep…

“Sister? Is something wrong?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” Celestia shook her head. “Now that I think about it, this millennium...this millenium is kind of depressing, don’t you think? All that fighting, all that killing.”


“Indeed. T’was a most turbulent time in our world’s history. Perhaps a more peaceful era is in order.” She tapped an icon and the platform took off at the Museum.

It wasn’t the most original or creative of names, like calling a library ‘The Library”’or a unicorn ‘The Unicorn’, but, really, what else could one call a place like this? It wasn’t just a museum, it was The Museum, a massive central shaft, honeycombed with exhibits displaying artwork from Equis’ long and storied past, like the interior of a giant beehive. Thanks to the long-lost art of 4-dimensional engineering, the relatively small building was massive on the inside. The old Palace of the Royal Pony Sisters could fit in the Museum’’s central shaft with room to spare, and another twenty could be stacked atop each other. All around them, galleries stacked atop each other like cubbyholes, each one dedicated to a specific era of Equestrian history. At the very top was a stained glass window depicting SpinDizzy floating amongst a field of stars.

As the platform floated through empty space, something caught Celestia’s ear. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

Listen.” Celestia’s ears swiveled around. There it was: a strange, humming, buzzing sound, like a cross between a swarm of bees and an old-fashioned vacuum cleaner.

“Yes. Tis probably a maintenance drone performing work on a subsystem, or something. Nothing worth our concern.”

“I don’t know…” The world began to spin around her. Tired. She felt so tired. Numbness spread through her body. The universe slowly began to dim.

Tired, Celestia. Seeing all of these works, resting here comfortable. So peaceful. So serene. Why don’t you lie down, and claim victory against your pain?

Celestia shook her head. With a quick spell, she banished both the Voice and the numbness from her body.

“Sister.” The disc stopped instantly. “Sister are you alright?”

Yes, I’m fine,” Celestia said, rubbing her temples with a hoof. The Voice withered away into the back of her mind. “It’s probably just... just old age, that’s all. Please, let's get moving.”

“Very well,” Luna said, tapping an icon on the disc.

With a gentle lurch, the disc swooped into one of the Museum's yawning honeycombs, revealing an entire civilization’s worth of paintings, statuary, and sculpture. Near the bottoms, crude wall paintings and carvings decorated the walls. From there, the art progressed from that to more advanced representative forms. Perspective was introduced, paintings went from crude and flat to nearly photorealistic. At the very top, touch screens, interactive holograms, and psycho-active sculptures lined the shelves, the fruits of a civilization that had reached its zenith.

Once they reached the desired level, Celestia tapped an icon. The disc came to an abrupt stop at an exhibit labeled “125th Millennium: Reign of the Glimmer King.”

“Ah, I remember this,” Luna said, watching decades worth of artwork zip by her. A hint of nostalgia crept into her voice. “T’was a good era.”

“Yes, those were the days.” Celestia smiled. Crime rates had been low, the economy had been mostly stable, and what few conflicts there were had been small, easily resolved through diplomacy. Unlike the more savage eras, the heroes of this time period were the artists and dreamers, builders and sculptors. Anpony who brought life to lifelessness was greatly respected. It had been one of the few times Luna and her had had the chance to take a break from being rulers.

A shame it had been so short.

The disc stopped in front of a small niche lined with glowing shield crystals. Inside, shielded from the rest of the universe behind a shimmering stasis bubble, was an elegant vase painted with bright red roses.

“Ah. I remember this phase,” Luna said. “You decided to take up the occupation of a potter, simply to see what it was like. ”

“Yes, I remember.” Celestia placed a hoof on the shield, feeling it skitter on the invisible barrier.

--

Careful… careful…

Celestia guides the brush along the stencil, bringing the painted leaf to life.

It’s almost done. For nearly a day, she has worked on this thing, spending hours on the pottery wheel to make sure every curve is perfect. After that, even more time is spent painting the hard clay, making sure that every leaf, every petal, every stamen comes out perfectly.

--

“If I recall,” Luna placed a hoof on her chin. “You took on an apprentice during that time. What was her name again?”

--

“App-Lazelay?”

The young neocorn prances into the studio, carrying a small jar of red paint on her back.

“Here is the paint!”

“Thank you” Celestia levitates the jar from the Neocorn’s back, dips her brush in, and resumes bringing the inert porcelain to life.

“Positive welcome, Mizz Lestia!” A beam of sunlight shines through the studio’s bay window, causing her apprentice’s eyes to glimmer like jewels.

--

“Yes, she was one of the best assistants I ever had,” Celestia said with a smile. Eager, hardworking, and talented. One of the best.

--

“There we go!” Celestia says. “Only one flower to paint!” She slides off of the stool and turns to Lazelay. “Ap-Lazulay, would you like to do the honors?”

“I?” Lazulay chirps in confusion and tilts her head. “But I am only an App-Level Blue. I am not qualled!”

“Lazulay, forget that silly system. With all you’ve done for me, you’re more than qualified.” Celestia slides off the stool and motions with her head.

The neocorn nods so hard Celestia half-expects her head to pop off.

“Well, come on, sit down. I’ll help you.”

The neocorn obeys, plopping her half-scaled flank on the stool...

--

Celestia moved the disc to a series of ornate bell jars, painted colorful abstract patterns, “She’d become a master of her own…” So much like her….

Tears welled up in Celestia’s eyes.

“Sister, is something wrong?” Said Luna.

“No. Nothing’s wrong.

Luna frowned.

Celestia sighed, ears flattening against her head. “Yes, Luna, something is wrong.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” Luna said, placing a comforting wing on her shoulder.

“I... I’d rather not.”

“Yes.” said the Voice. “You are in pain. Horrible pain. You can make it go away, you know. Simply close your eyes, lay down, and the pain will fade away forever. All that will be left is sweet, sweet light.”

“Perhaps this was not the best choice.” Luna tapped an icon and the disc took off. “Perhaps this shall ease your mind.” The disc flitted up a few floors, stopping on the highest level of the gallery, right in front of a small cubbyhole

“You remember this sculpture, do you not?”

Celestia nodded. Yes, she’d used it before. It wasn’t much to look at; just a geodesic cage of crystal-metal, with a small neural interface inside it. Of course, like many works created by late-millennium artists, it wasn’t the sculpture that was important.

Celestia stepped into the sphere and the crystal-metal began to glow a light blue and a weight began to lift from Celestia’s heart. Like every cell, every atom of her body was receiving a gentle pat on the back. As she relaxed, the cage shifted through all of the colors of the emotional spectrum: the deep blue of serenity, the orange and pink of excitement, the rich mahogany of nostalgia.

The crystals dimmed, then went dark. Fake. It was all fake. Like coating a brick with gold paint, it didn’t change the feelings but covered them up..

The drone picked up again, even louder than before. Celestia gritted her teeth. What was taking that drone so long? Normally, they’d fix any malfunctions in only a few seconds. And what on Equis was it doing? She may not have been a mechanic, but that did not sound like a fixing sound. It was more of a “boring through something” sound.

Just when Celestia’s nerves were about to break, the droning stopped. She breathed a sigh of relief, only to clap her hooves over her ears as a blaring emergency siren filled the Museum.

“INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT!” announced the Mseum’s AI as hatches opened throughout the Shaft and disgorged swarms of security drones, as if somepony had disturbed a robotic bees nest.

“Intruders in Sector One. Repeat, Intruders in Sector one! All security personnel respond!”


Celestia’s eyes popped wide open. Sector one! That was the First Millennium gallery. The first thousand years of her reign...

“Sister?”

Without another word, Celestia tapped an icon, almost slamming it. The disc shuddered at the impact, then obediently sped off in the same direction as the drone swarms.

“Faster, faster, faster!” Celestia grunted, slamming the icon again and again as if the abuse would make the transport disc fly any faster.

“Tia, please, what do you think you are doing?!” Luna said. “Tis a security issue. Let the drones handle it!”

“No!” Celestia shouted as the disc ducked and weaved its way through the swarms. Millennia worth of artwork zipping by.

The scooter screeched to a halt, repulsors glowing with excess heat. Celestia leaped from the platform and galloped down the hall as if her tail was on fire, hoofsteps echoing down the cavernous gallery.

“Sister!” Luna jumped off the platform in hot pursuit. “Sister, please come back!”

Celestia ignored her. Following the steady stream of drones, she barrelled past the remnants of her long-dead past. Paintings pieced together from scraps. Statues snatched from the past by ancient chrononauts. Carvings held together by force fields. All that was left of their first thousand years. All that was left of her.

Suddenly, the gallery lurched to the side, nearly knocking Celestia off balance. The Sun! She needed to hurry.

Ahead, a wall of drones stretched across the hallway, each one linked together by wire-like tendrils, each one generating a magical force field.

Behind the wall, Celestia could see their uninvited guests: lanky, bipedal figures covered in silver, skin-tight suits, with faces hidden behind opaque faceplates. Drones buzzed around them like flies, mage-tasers sparking. Two of the figures swatted at the swarms with beams of light from tubes attached to their wrists, while the rest of the group looted. One by one, they enveloped the artifacts in strange, green bubbles, then lugged the stolen goods. One of them reached for a section of stained glass window…

“Let me in!” Celestia blasted the drone wall with a beam of magic. The field wobbled and jiggled like jelly, but stayed intact. “I said, let me in!” Magma flowed through Celestia’s chest. With a feral whinny, she dug into her body’s core, reared up on her hind legs, and charged the barrier. It buckled. It squealed. It broke. Drones dropped to the floor like flies, their housings charred and warped. Before any of the creatures’ could react, a beam of golden magic as thick as a tree trunk smashed the one closest to Celestia. It let out a strange, warbling cry before instantly crumbling into ash.

“Tia!” Luna galloped up into the fray, magical broadsword at the ready. One of the creatures took a shot at Luna, only for her to block it, light splashing off the solidified magic. For its attempt on her life, the creature was rewarded with a one way ticket to the afterlife, courtesy of her sword. Celestia wasn’t really in the mood for finesse. She bucked and kicked at the creatures, snorting and whinnying like a mad mare. The gallery filled with the sound of cracking bone and shouts of pain in alien languages.

Slowly, the surviving creatures retreated back to the hole. One of them threw a small metal ball. There was a flash of light, a whiff of ozone, and they were gone.

“COME BACK HERE!” Celestia galloped towards the hole, wings spread.

“Sister, stop!” Luna grabbed her with a telekinises spell. “They are gone. It is over. It is over.”

The fire inside Celestia died out. She slumped to the floor. “I can’t, I can’t. They took her.” She pointed to a bare spot on the wall, surrounded by the glow of a shorted-out stasis field. Below, a flickering holotag floated into view.

Stained glass depiction of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s coronation. Unknown date. Old Canterlot.

Tears trickled down the alicorn’s cheeks, leaving tracks in the graying fur.

“Tia, please, you can grieve later.” Another quake shook the building. “The sun requires your assistance.”

Celestia just stood there, barely breathing. Her head hung low.

“Just... take me.”

Without another word, Spacetime warped around Celestia. There was a flash of light, and the museum vanished.

--

By the time Celestia rematerialized, SpinDizzy’s Central Park had become a garden of flames.

Time had finally caught up with the flying city. The structure’s protective bubble had finally given up the ghost, and hot, unfiltered sunlight flooded through the city’s central park, turning everything it touched to ash. Grass crumbled and trees became torches. Drones sped around, spraying the flames with foam. Even the plinth had warped and discolored in the incredible heat.

Looming above it all was the dying sun, pocked with sunspots. Celestia could feel the star hunger once again. It wanted to bloat. Wanted to swallow up everything, burn its own ashes.

“Stop!” Celestia cried. “Luna!”

Luna nodded and joined her aura with Celestia’s. Together, the two sisters grabbed the twisted, kinked magnetic field once again and plunged it into the sun’s mantlemantle, desperately stirring the hot star-flesh. Slowly, they stirred the ionized soup of the mantle, slowly sating its hunger.

The killing light softened. The temperature slowly dropped to its usual level.

It was sated.Barely. It was getting worse. The hunger was growing stronger. The sun’s resolve, weaker.

“There…” Salty iron spread across Celestia’s tongue. Her legs turned to jelly.

“Tia!” Luna caught her before she could fall to the ground.

“I’m...fine, Luna.” Celestia spat out a wad of clotting blood and picked herself back up again, trying to keep herself upright. The sun was finished. She could feel it. That last bout had all but destroyed its resolve. Next time it decided to flare, there was little she or anypony else could do to stop it.

Best not to tell Luna. There’d be no point.

Drones buzzed around the ruined park, spraying fires with jets of superchilled foam and clearing dead brush.“A shame,” Celestia said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “It took a very long time to grow all of this.” She picked up a hoofull of ash. “Hundreds of millennia of collecting, planting, and breeding. And it all burnt to ash in less than a minute…” She let the ashes fall back to the ground.

For a while, Celestia just sat there, tracing circles in the ash with a hoof.She felt Luna plop down beside her. A molting wing pressed against her back. Old thoughts churned in Celestia’s head like carrot slices in a stew pot.

Luna, you must lower the Moon!

You have a lot to think about…

I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do...

“Luna?”

“Yes, sister?”

“Can I ask you something?

“Of course.”

Celestia closed her eyes. “What am I?”

“I beg your pardon?” Luna said, tilting her head.

“Really, Luna, what am I?”

“You are the Princess of the Sun, the ruler of the day. Many a culture has worshipped you as a goddess in your own right.”

Exactly what she’d expected. “No, what am I really?”

Before Luna could answer, Celestia held up a hoof. “I’ll tell you. I’m a fraud.”

“Preposterous.” Luna scoffed. “Sister, when I was in exile, you ruled over our nation alone. You have helped to save our species from countless threats. You have overthrown tyrants beyond counting, and monsters most foul. Hardly the actions of a fraud.”

“So?” Celestia whispered. “For every tyrant we overthrew, there was one who died peacefully in their sleep. Everytime I helped to rebuild civilization, it inevitably collapsed. When I helped to destroy a monster, entire cities were leveled. No matter what I did, or helped to do, ponies died. Billions of them.

She snorted. “Some Princess I was. I couldn’t keep my ponies safe.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I couldn’t even keep her safe.”

Sleep, Celestia. Sleep and your troubles will be over. Give yourself to its embrace and be free. Be free...

Yes. Sleep. It sounded so very tempting. Just close her eyes. End this meaningless, pointless life of hers.

Luna held out her forelegs. Something broke inside Celestia. Eyes stinging with tears, she buried her head in her sister’s chest and cried for everything and anything: empires, kingdoms, ponies, royals, commoners. Everypony and everything that she had failed. All the while, Luna just sat there, stroking her back with a wing.

After a short eternity, the pain numbed. Celestia fished herself from Luna’s tear-soaked embrace, eyes red with tears.

“Here.” Luna materialized a magical hoofkerchief. Celestia seized the false-matter piece of cloth and dabbed at her face.

“Is that better, sister?”

Celestia blew her nose and nodded, sniffing… “Y-yes,” she choked out.

“Sister, listen to me. I know we’ve talked about this before. Tis obvious that what happened on that horrible day was not your fault. Sombra’s Curse was an extremely subtle one. By the time we had determined its true nature, t’was already far too late.”

“No it wasn’t. It shouldn’t.” Celestia blew her nose again. “I should have known it was more than a disease. I was over fifteen hundred years old at the time. I should have prepared for it. I should have had some sort of plan: a spell, an artifact... something that could have—”

“Tia, heed my words. Despite what many a culture has believed, you are not a goddess. Neither am I. We do not have the answers to everything. Do not punish yourself for being equine.

“And as for being a fraud, consider this. Tis true that billions died despite our actions, despite your actions, but trillions more lived. Trillions upon trillions of scientists, mages, heroes, poets, artists, mares, stallions, mothers, fathers, children. They all owe their lives to you.”

For a moment, Celestia just stared at the ground, tapping her hoof in the ash.

“While Twilight left us far too soon, you made sure that her life was not wasted. T’was thanks to your tutelage that she learned the power about magic, and from that, the power of friendship. Would you dishonor her memory with self-flagellation?”

Celestia didn’t know what to say. For a while, she just lay there, digesting Luna’s words. While she meditated, the universe seemed to meditate with her, as there was barely any noise, save for the occasional pop of burning wood or the tell-tale hum of a passing drone. Her ears perked up and a smily slowly spread across her face.

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to comfort you.”

Luna gave a cheeky grin. “Think nothing of it. After all, ‘tis customary to help our elders. Now, shall I fetch your dentures?”
Celestia nickered and gave her sister a gentle nuzzle. “Sure, and I’ll fetch your bib and bottle.”

Luna nickered. Her ears perked up. “Oh, I had almost forgotten!”

“Forgotten what?

“Your present, of course!” Luna materialized a blindfold made from pure magic. “First, place this over your eyes.”

Celestia complied, and the world plunged into darkness. There was the gut-wrenching twist of teleportation, followed by a strong smell of iodine. Salt. Sea salt, and lots of it. She could hear water lapping on a shore. The beach? What were they doing back here?

Celestia slowly moved a hoof towards one corner of the blindfold.

“No peeking, sister…” There was a sound of whispering, followed by the sound of hooves on sand. Multiple pairs of hooves.

“Now, Tia, you may remove the blindfold.

Celestia stripped off the magical cloth. Her heart stopped. Her jaw dropped.

“Surprise!”

--

Them. It was them. The original bearers of the Elements of Harmony: Steadfast Applejack, Headstrong Rainbow Dash, Elegant Rarity, Bubbly Pinkie Pie, Sweet Fluttershy, and Twilight….

“Luna…” There were so many things Celestia wanted to say, but all that came out was “How?”

“They are modified biots. Their physical bodies were created using a reprogrammed biocomputer, while their memories and personalities were recreated from memory. Had I had access to more biomass, I might have been able to recreate more, but…”

“Luna... it’s perfect.”

“Well, do not be shy. Say hello!”

Celestia trotted over to the recreated bearers. What should she say? What did you say to ponies who had been dead for almost two billion years?

“Hello, everypony,” she said, slowly and surely.

Applejack trotted up and took off her stetson.“ Ah know ah ain't the real Applejack, but boy howdy is it good to see you again!”

“Likewise, Applejack.” Celestia gave the farm mare a firm hoofshake.

“Ooh, ooh, my turn! My turn!” There was a pink blur, a smell of something like cotton candy, and the next thing Celestia knew, two fuzzy forelegs were wrapped around her neck. “Oh Princess it’s so really super duper scooper great to see you!” Pinkie Pie gave a massive smile whilst squeezing Celestia like an overcaffienated python.

“Pinkie… if you wouldn’t mind...” Celestia felt her ribs begin to snap

“Oh, sorry!” The overly energetic equine released her death grip. “It’s just that I’m really really really really excited to be here. Oh, one second!” She looked around. “My party cannon, where is it?!” Is it here?” She looked under a rock. ”Is it up here?” She scrambled atop a salt pillar. Nope. Phooey. Where did I put it? You girls go ahead, I’ll find it.

“You do that.” Celestia cast a healing spell on her fractured ribs, wincing as the magic reknit the cracked bones.

“Sorry about that, Your Highness,” Fluttershy trotted over to Celestia. “Pinkie, well she’s been excited to see you since she was...reborn.” The little pegasus smiled. “Oh, and it’s really nice to see you again.”

Something melted inside Celestia’s chest. That mare, she was the living manifestation of adorable.

“It’s nice to see you again too, Fluttershy.” Celestia gave the pegasus a gentle nuzzle, catching a whiff of something like fresh daisies. The tiny beaked head of a sparrow popped out of Fluttershy’s mane, followed by a blue jay, a finch, and several other long-extinct species of... what were these creatures called again? Oh yes, birds.

“Princess Luna, well she had a little biomass left over after we were, uh, born I guess.” Fluttershy patted the bluejay on its head. “She thought I could use a few animal friends.”

“She made the right choice.” Celestia nuzzled a finch, which then flew back into Fluttershy’s mane.

Fluttershy nodded. “Well, I’d better not keep the others waiting now. Happy Birthday!” She moved aside. “You can go now, Rarity.”

“Thank you, darling.” Rarity sashayed over to Celestia, elegantly-styled mane bobbing up and down with each hoofstep. ”Good day, Princess.” She give a little curtsey then gasped, her eyes bulging. “Good heavens, your mane!”

The unicorn leapt onto Celestia’s back and started ruffling through the alicorn’s burnt, faded mane. “No no no no, this will not stand! Princess, please allow me to restore your mane to its former glory!”

“I’d love it!” said Celestia. It had been a while since she’d visited a manestylist.

“Good! Now, most of my supplies were lost over a billion years ago, but a true fashionista always improvises!” She trotted over to the shoreline and broke off a piece of salt. “Yes, I might just be able to… Do not worry Princess…”

As the unicorn dug along the beach, Rainbow Dash fluttered over.

“Hey, Princess?”

“Yes?”

The pegasus held up a hoof. “Watch this!” ”With a pump of her wings, the pegasus rocketed into the air, nearly knocking Celestia over. A mach cone formed in front of the little cyan equine, followed by an intense burst of color and a distinctive double boom. With a rainbow trailing behind her, Rainbow looped, dove, and twirled, until she’d spelled out “Happy Birthday Celestia”, then gently glided back to Equis, making a perfect landing.

“So, whadd’ya think?” She brushed a little dust out of her mane.

Celestia smiled. “I love it!”

The pegasus gave a cocky grin. “Good to see I’m just as awesome as the original!”

Loud, brash, and colorful. This was Rainbow Dash.

“Well, now that you’ve seen how awesome I am, I think there’s somepony who wants’ to talk with ya.” Rainbow motioned over her shoulder and flew off.

Now, it was just her and Twilight. Alicorn and alicorn just stood there, too choked up to speak. This couldn’t be real. She could see the alicorn in front of her, could sense her magical aura, but her brain simply refused to believe it. How could it? She had seen Twilight die in front of her, her little body withering away to nothing from Sombra’s curse. This was all a dream, some fantasy cooked up by her dying brain from bits and pieces of her memories.

And she didn’t care at all.

“Twilight…” Celestia galloped over to the alicorn and embraced her in her wings. “T-Twi-I-I m-m-m-issed you s-s—” It was too much emotion. Too fast. It was like trying to drink from a firehose.

“I missed you too, Princess.” Twilight Sparkle wiped a few tears from her face. “I know I’m not the real Twilight, but… .”

“I don’t care.” Celestia interrupted. “You’re real enough.” She sputtered, wrapping her forelegs around Twilight’s neck. Hints of lavender and soap wafted past her nostrils and for a moment, she was back in the Old Canterlot Castle, watching Twilight master an advanced teleportation spell. She was in Twilight’s old bedroom, comforting the little homesick filly. She was inside the Palace of the Pony Sisters, watching Twilight and her friends cleanse Luna of the Nightmare…

“Luna, girls...” Celestia sniffed, wiping tears from her eyes. "You have... have...” She couldn't finish. She didn’t need to.

“No problem, Princess,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yep. This place may not be all that fancy” said Applejack.

“But we’re still going to throw you the bestest birthday party ever!” Pinkie said. Her ears perked up. “Oh, I just remembered.” She dug a hoof into her poofy mane.

“No... no…” There was the sound of an elephant trumpeting. “That’s not it... Aha!” Pinkie tugged at something in her mane, and the party pony’s personal party cannon popped out. Celestia smiled. That was Pinkie all right.

“Now, let's get this party started!” She tugged the weapon’s lanyard. The cannon bucked, rolling back on its tiny wheels, and a mass of party supplies flew through the air, somehow arranging themselves into a table with plates and a birthday cake.

Celestia drooled. Cake. Sweet, delicious cake.

“Come on, everypony!” Pinkie motioned towards Fluttershy.

“Oh, yes.” She cleared her throat and whispered something to the birds perched on her back, and the flock sung a beautiful rendition of happy birthday. Twilight lit up her horn, and the sky erupted in a spray of purple and magenta starbursts.

“Now,” Pinkie said, whipping out a serving knife. “Who wants cake?!”

---

“So then what happened?”

Celestia ran a hoof through her newly groomed mane, enjoying the soft, silky feel of her freshly-cleaned mane. It was amazing what one could do with salt crystals and a comb made from fossilized bone.

“Well, then the Magitek Lord said, ‘I have you now, Princesses,” she said in her best imitation of the tyrants’ booming voice, “Can you guess what happened next?”

Everypony shook their heads.

Celestia turned towards her sister, scraping off a bit of mud from Applejack’s tug-of-war competition. “Well, why don’t you tell them, Luna?”

“Gladly. Whilst Celestia distracted the tyrant, I surreptitiously cast a Domination spell on his crystalline implants and tricked his minions into attacking him. T’was most entertaining, if somewhat... icky.”

Everypony laughed.

“Now that was one doozy of a prank!”

“Indeed,” Celestia said. “Say, Twilight, wasn’t there that one magic trick you wanted to show me?”

“Oh, of course!”

Twilight galloped over to a gleaming pillar of salt. She closed her eyes and charged up her horn, and let magic flow into the crystallized pillar. With a flash of light, the pillar broke into thousands of sparkling salt crystals, which then arranged themselves into a sweeping, spiral shape, like a miniature galaxy. She clapped her hooves, and the galaxy exploded into a crackling, sparkling fountain. Everypony stomped their hooves and cheered.

“Thank you, thank you…” She bowed. “Trixie taught me that one.”

“She did a good job.” Celestia said, stomping extra hard. It had been a long time since she’d felt this contented, this relaxed. In fact, the last time she’d felt truly at peace with the world, the sun had still been burning hydrogen without her help. It was like the entire universe was just a big warm blanket, swaddling her in happiness. Guilt was a memory. Anxiety turned to mist and melted away.

Suddenly, the ground shook with a familiar seismic rumble

“What in tarnation was that?”

Another rumble, even stronger than before. Everypony reeled in a desperate attempt to keep their balance.

“The hay is going on?”

“Yeah.” Rainbow wiped her forehead. “And why’s it getting so warm?”

Celestia opened her mouth to call to Luna, then closed it. What would be the point?

That’s right, Celestia. All is well. All is calm. You know what it is like to embrace true peace. Now please, stop fighting. Now, it’s time to go to sleep…

For once, she agreed with the Voice. It was time.

“Luna, girls… come close. There’s something I have to tell you.” Another rumble. Celestia held out a hoof to steady herself. “Hurry, there’s not much time!”

Luna and the Bearers huddled around Celestia, their faces painted with concern.

“Luna, girls, thank you. Not just for this birthday, but for everything. You have been the best friends a princess could ever have, and I will miss you greatly, but now,...” Sweat beaded on her forehead. “Now it’s time for me to rest.”

The look on their faces said everything.

A massive flare lashed out from the sun’s surface. The sunlight began to prick and burn.

“Luna, take the girls to SpinDizzy. Access the main control tower and you might be able to re-engage the—

Luna put a hoof to Celestia’s lips, then lay down by her side, holding her hoof. The Bearers huddled around Celestia, embracing her in one last, giant hug.

With that, the Princess of the Sun closed her eyes one last time. As the air turned to fire around them, Celestia managed three last words

“Best… Birthday… Ever…”

Author's Notes:

Dedicated to Owen

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